I now present: an inworld story. (Tw: snakes, light gore/horror, but funny)

This one is from Aberle. When he was young, probably about five, he found a decapitated snake. What he didn't know was that snakes, in the internal And external, can retain the ability to move and bite even when decapitated. So, he pokes at it with a stick, and this damn thing Flips on him, and actually bites his hand.

So, then his dad, Audric, has to take him to the ER. Aberle's freaking out on the way there, reasonably. "Dad? Dad? Am I going to be poisoned by the snake and die? 😭 😱"

And Audric, ever pragmatic, responds, "No, son. You aren't going to die from being poisoned... 🧐 You might die from being *Invenomated*, but you weren't poisoned."

He, of course, ended up being fine and learned an important vocabulary distinction that day.

-Xanthe

Since you had a pet Scorpion (well for a like a day)

Do you have a soft spot for animals with spikes or stingers maybe poisonous animals to

Do you think it’s your…..hedgehog half??

Do you think Hit would get you a tank to put scorpions in?

Insects and arachnids were a lot of what managed to creep past the fence into my little sealed off realm. They were quite fascinating, but I guess I saw a particular draw in the structure of the tail stinger- which I didn't know was venomous (you say "poisonous", you mean venomous) until my father brutally killed Buttons in front of my very eyes.

That fact actually made it seem cooler to a young me- so I got my own needle weapons when I was old enough. I've heard it's a rite of passage to get ears pierced at the mall, mine was getting venom-loaded thorn blades in my wrists at a shady witch doctor clinic.

Digressing... I still find the creatures rather interesting. I'd enjoy keeping a scorpion for longer than eight minutes if Hit would indulge the idea.

So we all know if a zombie bites you, game over. Zombies are venomous.

But are they poisonous?

Friendly reminder that "venomous" and "poisonous" are not synonyms. Poison is ingested, venom is injected. A snake that bites you has injected venom into your blood. If you bite a brightly colored frog, you have ingested poison.

was watching a video and it was saying a fact i enjoy knowing about isnt all that important to everyday conversation. well its important to me, i enjoy it very much and love to use it correctly and tell people about it :( !

Me: Hey internet, thanks for all the info on how to find salt in the wild that my characters might be able to use. But how urgent is this? How long can they last without doing it?

Internet: Cutting salt from your diet helps with-

Me: No, how long can you live without salt?

Internet: Signs of salt deficiency include-

Me: No, HOW LONG?

Reddit: Oh, I have this one!

Me: Yeah?

Reddit: *shrug* Dunno. Depends how much you're getting from the local plants.

Me: .....thanks

Got No Reason To Run (Homelander x Supervillain!Reader)

Summary: Homelander fantasizes about you, his supervillain arch-enemy, and getting the revenge he so desperately craves.

Note: Female reader, but no other descriptors are used. This is based on some of the headcanons I wrote here. I’m definitely open to writing more of a supervillain!Reader with Homelander. This is short because it's PWP, honestly. Do not interact if you’re under 18 or post thinspo/ED content.

Word count: 2k

Warnings: Sexually explicit content which includes masturbation. Non-con, violence, intentional scarring, mild bloodplay, and dacryphilia in the context of a fantasy. Do not interact if you’re under 18.

Homelander’s eyes were glued to the television as soon as the story about you began to run. Rosethorn. More like a thorn in his fucking side. Ever since Vought decided to let you wreak havoc on the streets of New York because having an arch-enemy was good marketing, you were inescapable. Every interview inevitably derailed into questions about you, the Homelander Vs. Rosethorn comic series was almost out-selling his solo ones, and to make matters worse, half of the internet seemed to ship you, the marketing team bafflingly thrilled the first time #Roselander trended on Twitter.

All of those things he could reasonably deal with, but among the people who regarded you as an anti-hero rather than a supervillain, they’d developed a conspiracy theory of sorts that you were somehow as powerful as, if not more so than, him. He often seethed in rage over it. You were only alive because you were useful to Vought. At least, that’s what he told himself after the first time the two of you were face-to-face, and you spit your venom at him, burning through his costume and blistering his skin, to both of your shock. The faint scar on his arm became a point of sensitivity for him, few people had ever seen it. To him, it was a symbol of failure, but even worse, it fed into the paranoia that what your handful of supporters were saying was true.

He watched the news replay the security footage of you and your accomplices, a rotation of other, less powerful supes, robbing a bank. You could secrete incredibly potent, acidic poison through your saliva and breath at will, though most people were too scared to put up a fight and see what damage you could do to the human body. You practically skipped over to the vault, spitting on the metal door which quickly melted into twisted scrap. Your goons wasted no time in collecting the money and valuables that were then ripe for the taking.

Your gaze landed on the security camera that had caught the whole crime in action, and you grinned, staring directly at it—eyes crystal clear and haunting, as if you were looking into his soul as you stalked over like a tiger waiting to strike. 

“Homelander, you can come and get me,” you said with a playful wink at the camera before disappearing in a toxic haze.

Something stirred in him at that. He grabbed the remote, playing the clip back over and over until his cock was half-hard. If he were there, that bank robbery would have gone a hell of a lot differently. He licked his lips as he thought about how he would have made his appearance, crash through the ceiling or laser through the wall—no, he would’ve walked through the doors like he owned the damn place.

He had a firm grip on his cock as he pumped the length, imagining the bank was empty and dark, after hours with no hostages in sight. You grinned at him from inside the bank vault you’d just half-obliterated. It was all a game, as usual, playing cat and mouse until you’d make your escape. Not this time. 

Vought’s orders to avoid grievously harming you were endlessly frustrating, but in this instance, he was the one calling the shots. If he had his way, he’d make sure you faced the specific brand of justice a supervillain like you deserved after years of getting away with countless crimes with little more than bruises and scratches. You were too cocky, too smug. He’d be more than happy to knock you down a few notches and remind you who exactly your arch-enemy was and what he was capable of.

“Homelander, come and get me,” you repeated, voice light and airy, clueless as to what his true intentions were.

He strode across the threshold of the bank, his steps strong and purposeful as he closed the distance between you. The ensuing fight was laughably easy since he was actually trying to cause some damage, and from your place on the floor, disheveled with blood trickling from the corner of your mouth, you looked betrayed. 

You attempted to push yourself off the ground, only to be met with his boot on your chest, his gaze nothing short of mean.

“Do you have any idea who the fuck I am?”

Your confused silence infuriated him.

“Answer me!” he shouted, his eyes glowing red.

“You’re—you’re The Homelander.”

“That’s right. So I don’t know who the fuck you think you are, Rosethorn, but injuring me? Scarring me? I don’t bleed. I don’t break. I sure as hell don’t scar,” he raged, droplets of spit flying in your face. “I can’t let that stand.”

“I’m sorry,” you whimpered pathetically.

He scoffed. “You can do better than that.”

“Homelander, please, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to scar you. Forgive me.”

His silence was accented with the sound of your racing heart, the blood rushing through your veins. You were terrified. Good. 

“We both know you’re not sorry. You loved every second of it, didn’t you?”

“No, Homelander I didn’t–”

“I think I should return the favor.” 

Your eyes widened, and you began shaking your head frantically upon realizing what he intended to do. He grabbed your arm, and his teeth broke the skin with ease, just a bit of pressure from his razor blade smile to cut you open. Your blood on his lips almost tasted sweet, at least, he imagined it would. 

"Scream all you want, there’s no one to hear you," he would snarl at your weeping figure. Now you had matching scars, now you couldn’t look at yourself in the mirror without being reminded of him too. In a disturbing display of dominance and possession, he licked your open wound. You wailed. He squeezed your arm tighter. You should have been grateful he didn’t try to cauterize it himself. Finally, he released you, but this temporary freedom wouldn’t last.

“You’re a monster,” you sobbed, clutching your injured arm.

“Me? No, I’m The Homelander. I might as well be god. You? You’re only around to make me look good.”

Then he heard it, the way only he can, the sound of your spit collecting in your mouth. He grabbed you by the throat, hauling you to your feet. “Try it, and I promise I’ll take all the time in the world to kill you.”

Teary-eyed, you nodded. When he released your throat, he heard you swallow. 

“Now, how to properly serve you justice for being caught red-handed robbing a bank," he mused.

“Fuck you.”

“That’s not a bad idea at all.”

The fear that would glaze over those eyes that he couldn’t get out of his mind made him jerk his hips, and he slowed how quickly he was pumping his leaking cock. He didn’t want to cum, not yet. Digging his teeth into his bottom lip, he exhaled through his nostrils, trying to ground himself.

Where was he? Fear. You were afraid of him, of what he’d do to you, as you should be. You weren’t rivals, the implication that you were as powerful as him was outright offensive. His lip curled in disdain. 

He pushed you against the wall, tearing off your clothing with little effort, reveling in the way your body shook against his as it was suddenly exposed to the cool air in the vault. He reached from behind, his gloved hands feeling how wet you’d gotten. The squelch of leather squeezing into your wet pussy made him moan out loud, but in his fantasy he was in control, mocking you for being turned on and how easily he was able to fit two–no, now it was three fingers inside you.

Tears streamed down your face as you begged him to be gentle, to slow down. Your legs were shaking as you tried to stay standing despite the overstimulation from his strong fingers curling inside you and pumping in and out. He wouldn’t get exhausted, not from brutally fingering you until you were little more than a blubbering mess. You begged him to stop, to at least have some mercy and give you a break.

“What’s the matter? You told me to come and get you, and here I am,” he taunted. “Don’t think I’m even close to being done with you.”

You cried out in response, or maybe you’d just cum. It didn’t matter, this was about his pleasure. In that moment, watching you sob and struggle got his proverbial rocks off, and he turned your head to capture your lips in a messy kiss. Your mouth stayed open as your desperate protests disappeared down his throat. His tongue curled. He wanted to swallow the noise, digest it, let it sit in his stomach. A wave of pleasure rocked through him. He was close, dangerously so.

He pulled his hand from your cunt, soaked and stretched out for him. Your juices glistened on his gloves, and he broke the kiss to suck each of his fingers as you utilized the time to catch your breath, or at least try to while he gave you this short break. You’d taste perfect, and he’d lick his fingers clean, his mind almost wandering to what it’d be like to eat you out.

Instead, he unbuckled his belt, observing the way you clenched your thighs at the sound of the metal hitting the floor as he rid himself of his spandex bottoms. His hands gripped your hips tightly, and you gasped as he pulled your ass to press against his hard cock. You tried wiggling out of his grasp, and he almost laughed. Stupid girl.

“Beg me not to break you in half right now,” he ordered, his voice low and husky.

You choked out your plea through sobs. “Homelander—don’t do this—don’t—please don’t break me in half.”

“No promises.”

With that, he slammed his cock into your wet cunt, grinning to himself as your eyes squeezed shut and you clawed at the wall, a near-animalistic howl tearing from your throat. He kept a steady, unforgiving pace that made your legs finally give out on you, relying on him wrapping a strong arm around your middle to keep you up. He dipped his head down to press a kiss to your temple.

“C’mon baby, you’ve made it this far,” he purred. “Why not see this thing out to the end?”

He kissed down the side of your face, his lips lingering along your cheek and jaw, covering them in open-mouthed kisses as he moaned into your skin. Your pussy clenched around his cock, and when he glanced at the wound he’d inflicted on your arm, he gave a forceful thrust that had you reaching back to grab some part of him to hold onto. 

You were his. You wanted to be his. You wouldn’t have permanently marked his skin if you didn’t. You laid claim to him first. It was only a matter of time before he reciprocated, showing you what you were really in for. Part of him wanted so badly to just kill you, but the part of him that was winning out was buried deep inside your cunt with the intention of filling you with his cum.

Briefly, his mind wandered to keeping you in the tower, maybe in his own suite, tied up pretty like a present for him to come home to at the end of each day, or maybe isolated in one of the supe containment cells where through time and pressure you’d be begging for him to use you, just to get some physical contact.

As much as he could dream, the main event beckoned him back to that bank vault he’d conjured up, his thrusts into you still strong, but more erratic, and he felt your pussy milking his cock as you came, your voice strained as you cried out his name.

Homelander, you can come and get me.

He orgasmed, and you were gone. Back to reality, just him, his hand, and the remote control he’d accidentally crushed. Fuck. He ran his clean hand through his hair, taking another look at the paused frame of you smiling in the security footage. 

Maybe he would come and get you.

*kisses Mr devil and there's nothing u can do about it*

What's that thing about poisonous vs venomous again? If it bites you and you get sick it's venomous, if you bite kiss it and you get sick it's poisonous. Yea well anyway Mr. Devil is probably one of those things I don't remember which

With Dc au Sonic i wanted the theme nature vs machine to be demonstrated on an emotional level

He had lived in Gotham his entire life and Gotham isn’t exactly a safe nor healthy place to live cuz of all the crime, chaos and rampant pollution from factories that the citizens have to breathe in daily

Plant life in Gotham suffers heavily because of this too, healthy plants aren’t really commonplace

Nicky hated the pollution in the city with a burning passion but after Eggman brainwashed him, he saw the pollution of the city as not that bad of a thing and sees it as a sacrifice for scientific advancement, Doctor Eggman’s scientific advancement to be specific

Working with Eggman meant being exposed to the worst of the pollution with his constant manufacturing of robot henchmen and chemical experiments with Joker venom on the daily, it isn’t good for Sonic by any sort of means (mentally and physically) but he doesn’t really care about that, just about helping the doctor in any way he can

But then he meets Shadow, poison ivy, a hedgehog who can literally control nature, is part of nature and he starts benefitting from being around him both physically and mentally, Shadow’s lair supplies the cleanest oxygen that Sonic has ever breathed in, he can be his own person when he’s with Shadow, etc.

With Eggman and his machinery he gets more hurt but with Shadow and his connection to nature he starts to heal

Idk i just thought it was cool and wanted to talk about it

How This Will Work (Pt.2)

link to the first time

All the songs are introduced in the first round, and the pairing are randomized. There are a total of 64 songs; mcr has 58 album songs (including CW) so i added 6 more for the sake of numbers. If you're curious why i choose the specific six and not others send me an ask.

Unlike last time i'll be adding the poll links directly to this post. The (#) is the number of polls that will be posted that week. (The dates are the intended postings if all goes well and for personal reference).

First (10) April 5

Planetary (GO!) vs. I never Told You What I Do For a Living  Sing vs. Vampire Money  Vampires Will Never Hurt You vs. Heaven Help Us  Give 'em Hell Kid vs. Welcome to the Black Parade  S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W vs. Early Sunsets Over Monroeville  NA NA NA vs. Desert Song  Sleep  vs. The Ghost of You House of Wolves vs. Hang 'em High  Party Poison  vs. The Sharpest Lives  The Only Hope For Me is You vs. To The End 

Second (10) April 12

Skylines and Turnstiles vs. Famous Last Words Disenchanted  vs. Our Lady of Sorrows Save Yourself I'll Hold Them Back  vs. Honey This Mirror isn't Big Enough For the Two of Us  Thank You for The Venom  vs. The World is Ugly  Teenagers vs. Helena AMBULANCE  vs. Drowning Lessons  Fake Your Death  vs. Cancer  Mama vs. Cemetery Drive  DESTROYA  vs. Make Room!!!

Third (12) April 19

The End vs. This is How I Disappear  I don’t Love You vs. Dead! Kill All Your Friends vs. This is the Best Day Ever You Know What They Do to Guys like Us In Prison vs. The Foundations of Decay  I'm not ok (I Promise) vs. Boy Division  Summertime vs. Surrender the Night  It's not a Fashion Statement, It’s a Deathwish vs. The Jetset Life is Gonna Kill You Gun. vs. Blood  The Light Behind Your Eyes  vs. Burn Bright  Headfirst for Halos vs. Cubicles  Tomorrow Money vs. Demolition Lovers Kiss the Ring  vs. The Kids From Yesterday  Bulletproof Heart vs. My Way Home is Through You

Week Four (8) April 26

DESTROYA vs. Mama Early Sunsets Over Monroeville vs. Give 'em Hell Kid  Vampire Money vs. Thank You For The Venom Disenchanted vs. Helena I never Told You.. vs. House Of Wolves  Drowning Lessons  vs. The Sharpest Lives  ...Prison vs. Famous Last Words Cancer  vs. To The End 

Week five (8) May 3

Sleep  vs. This is How I Disappear NA NA NA  vs. The Light Behind Your Eyes Honey this Mirror... vs. The Kids From Yesterday Vampires Will Never Hurt You vs. Blood  Summertime  vs. Demolition Lovers Bulletproof Heart vs. Dead! Kill All Your Friends vs. Headfirst for Halos Boy division  vs. It's not a Fashion Statement, It’s a Deathwish

Week Six (8) May 10

Week Seven (4) May 17

Week Eight (2) May 24

Week Nine (dif 2) May 31

(this is a second account btw, main mcr)

WN Non-Sapient Animal Upper Bracket

["Anti-Propaganda" is NOT allowed. Please be courteous and only give reasons to vote FOR a character.]

Demy from When the Third Wheel Strikes Back

Type of Animal: Red panda / Divine Beast

Submission: A little red panda who can control plants, for example making vines to climb buildings! Loves good food despite not needing to eat, as a divine beast. Our transmigrator's most helpful companion, tbh U-U (sentences that would get me k-worded by the transmigrator's bf and gf)

Wiki Link

The Sable from Qi Ye / Lord Seventh

Submission 1: A precious fluffy boi. Venomous. Was raised by Wu Xi and later sold by his father-- ahem given as gift to Jing Beiyuan. 

Submission 2: The cutest venomous critter among all venomous critters! Squeaky delightful thing with his poisoned teeth and his poisoned claws and his butt! Also, he saves MC's life against an assassin at one point, making him the most adorable (but no less effective) bodyguard of all time.

Xiao Lu from Of Mountains and Rivers / Shan He Biao Li

Type of Animal: Snake

Submission: The cutest little snake who follows the MC home. (MC: you are not a cute puppy! *pets it* *is a snake dad now*) Saves MC's life. Grows a little bigger over the course of the novel. Plays a major role in the finale but that's mega spoilers.

nice story but can you make dark cacao vs affogato x male affogato's priest reader but in original universe like reader meet affogato again outside kingdom during mission

also add against and injured ( not too much )

AN: So, I kinda forgot a lot of the crk kingdom lore, but I think I got this! Been procrastinating on this one, sorry. In Affogato's wiki, it says that after his banishment, he practiced magic and stuff, so I mentioned that in the story. Um, and I tried to find out where he went after the banishment, but I couldn't find anything so I'm just assuming he's just in a small camp or set. Idk man. If things aren't right in this, please just lmk and I can make some edits or maybe just another story. I SWEAR IM TRYING. Also I'm calling reader the prince since him and Dark Cacao are dating

Dark Cacao vs Affogato x Male! Affogato Priest's Reader

Oneshot

Warnings: Mild Injury, not proof read

-Unpleasant-

A radiant, pure, and glistening snow. It covered the ground, and trees... everything. A beautiful sight to behold, and luckily for you, you were experiencing the light snowfall firsthand!

You were recently sent out on a mission to survey a certain area in the woods. Nothing too difficult. In fact, it was very simple. Survey, collect data, and then return to the kingdom, and with the light snowfall, it should have been that hard.

Well, the snow used to be light. You don't know what caused such a sudden change, but it was now practically a blizzard. If you didn't retreat to somewhere more warm, you were going to freeze to death!

The only problem is... where would you go? Everything was all forest as far as the eyes could see.

"Feeling cold doll? Looks like you could use some help.." said a voice. You couldn't see who it was through all of the snow, but... you couldn't shake the feeling that you knew them.

"Oh, yeah! Is there anywhere we can go get out of the blizzard..?"

You could hear a subtle chuckle.

"Of course there is." A bright light would flash and you were now in a completely different area.

A nice, warm, and cozy cabin. A fireplace was lit in the corner, but.... you could also now see them.

"Affogato Cookie?" You'd shout in bewilderment as you took a step back.

"Yes. Did you miss me~?" He'd take a step closer to you and take hold of your chin, forcing you to look at him.

Immediately, you swatted away his hand and sent him a glare.

"Do not touch me," you would hiss.

"Ahaha, you've still got that vicious personality, I see! But... this is no way to treat the person who has just saved your life, is it?"

He stared at you with those cold and uncaring eyes, still weilding that sly smile he always had all those months ago.

"Fine then. Thank you for saving me," you would say half-heartedly. You were grateful, just a bit on edge since it was Affogato who had saved you.

"So doll, how have you been? Is the king doing well?" He would ask. You only nod your head.

"How... unpleasant."

Affogato would swirl around his staff, and a pain would shoot through your body.

You knew exactly what this was. It was the poison he would use on his enemies... but he's improved.

"Ah, I've missed you're charming little expressions! This is why you've always been my favorite little doll~" He would pinch your cheeks while giving you that taunting smile.

"It hurts, doesn't it? I can make it stop," said Affogato Cookie.

"Then stop it," you would say with a glare.

"Of course! Under one condition though. You have to bring me to meet Dark Cacao Cookie. This is something you can do... yes?"

Oh. He was planning something for sure, but... all you could think about was the venom running through your blood.

"Fine! Just cut it out already."

He'd flick his staff once more, and the pain would lessen. Of course, poison cannot be cured so easily.

"The burning sensation will only last for a little while. Anyway, I'm glad we could come to an agreement! Now then, shall we head there now?"

That scowl never left your face, but you would nod your head all the same. It's not like you could take Affogato in a fight anyway.

《☆》

As Affogato and you walked into the gates of the kingdom, some guards would immediately ready their weapons.

"Prince, what is that traitor doing with you?!" They would ask in a panic.

You took a look at Affogato, who had never looked so calm and collected before.

"Stand down. I'm bringing him to the king," You'd order. Afgogato would chuckle before giving a viscious side eye towards the guards.

They looked shocked, but ultimately followed your lead since going against you was like going against the king himself.

"Yes sir." They said with a bow.

You started walking towards the castle, getting scared looks from the normal citizens.

The dizziness from before has also yet to fade.

"This kingdom looks the same as last time.. though, you are looking as darling as ever," Affogato would say with a grin.

"I don't want to hear it from you."

Affogato only hums, not bothering to push much farther.

It did not take long before you had reached the king's chambers.

Dark Cacao noticed Affogago instantly.

"What is he doing here?" Dark Cacao would ask with a booming voice. His blade was already at the ready.

"Ah ah ah, I wouldn't be so hasty to attack. You're little lover here might get hurt,"

Affogato would snicker before waving his staff, and that dark bubble would come back to consume you.

"You-" Dark Cacao would grit his teeth while glaring daggers into Affogato.

"Hand over the kingdom, and I'll stop the curse on him."

Dark Cacao's eyes darkened, and in an instant, he'd dash over to Affogato and strike him.

The blade would barely graze Affogato's shoulder, but it still drew blood. In a panic, Affogato would fall to the ground and start backing away.

"Ah, this isn't how the plan was supposed to turn out-"

Dark Cacao pointed the Swords edge at his neck.

"Stop the spell and leave. Next time you come here, I won't hesitate to take your life," said Dark Cacao.

He laughed nervously before swiftly undoing the curse. He flicked the staff once more again and teleported to who knows where.

Dark Cacao rushed to your side quickly.

"Are you alright?" He'd ask, holding you up.

"Yeah..." you began to cough a bit before looking at him with weary eyes.

"Here, let's get you some rest..."

《☆》 Fin

Hello!! Okay so ROs reaction to MC being asked out in front of them..? (crushing stage vs. relationship stage)

I might have asked this before if I have ignore me lol I'm on a ask trip again and this is one of my fav questions 💜

Hope you are doing well!!!

Hey! Sorry for not answering sooner, I spent some time pondering how to best summarize their reaction, but I just couldn't describe them in simple terms, so I decided to make short scenes for them to give a general idea. This was a nice breath of fresh air as I was focused on the main story for so long, so thank you for this ask!

As always, keep in mind that everything is subject to change, but I think the basic foundations are set in stone already. These scenes are unpolished and may have more than a few mistakes in there (and ignore my frequent switches between past and present tenses, sometimes I myself don't understand what I'm doing :D).

Oh yeah, and thanks. I'm doing good, just eager to wrap up the first part of Chapter 2!

Elaine:

-Crushing

Elaine sat alone in the corner of the tavern, nursing a mug of ale and brooding over her thoughts. The raucous laughter and clinking of mugs filled the air, but it was nothing more than a dull hum in her ears. Her attention was on the stranger who had just approached the MC with a blatant disregard for her presence. Her piercing eyes followed every movement, every gesture as if she could will the stranger to disappear with the intensity of her gaze alone. Elaine felt an unfamiliar pang, a sensation that twisted in the pit of her stomach. She bit her lower lip, her thoughts swirling in a tumultuous mix of confusion, irritation, and a hint of something she refused to acknowledge. 'Why do I care?' The question lingered, uninvited, as she eyed the stranger standing too close to the MC. 'Why should it bother me if the MC entertained the company of a stranger?' The stranger leaned in closer, a coy smile playing on their lips as they whispered something into the MC's ear. Elaine could see the genuine surprise flicker across the MC's face as they hesitated. The world seemed to slow down as she held her breath, her heart pounding in her chest. The air seemed thick with unspoken tension, her grip on her mug tightening. Elaine's eyes never left the MC, a mix of confusion and irritation flickering in their depths. 'Just say no. Say no and let this be over, so I can go back to being happily irritated by your presence.' The MC's refusal released a subtle sigh from Elaine, a relief she couldn't comprehend. But the confusion persisted. 'Why does it matter to me?' She couldn't understand why she felt an inexplicable tension, but the urge to lash out was stronger than ever. With a frustrated huff, Elaine's hand slammed down on the wooden table, causing her mug to rattle and spill a few drops of ale. The sharp sound caught the attention of the MC, who turned to look at Elaine with surprise written all over their face. The stranger, too, glanced in her direction before quickly retreating to the other side of the tavern. "You have an uncanny talent for attracting fools, it seems," Elaine spat out, her voice dripping with venom like poison from a snake's fangs. Yeah, this is good, this is better. "Try not to attract any more stray dogs, or I might have to put them down myself."

-Relationship

Elaine's body tenses as the stranger asks the question, her eyes narrowing into sharp slits. Without missing a beat, she steps in closer to the MC, her fingers delicately intertwining with theirs. The touch is both reassuring and playful. With a mischievous glint in her eye, she echoes the stranger's question, her voice laced with a challenging undertone. "So, what do you say, MC?" she teases with a sly smile. Her confidence radiates through her every word as she leans in even closer, breath warm against MC's ear as she adds, "I do believe they're waiting for an answer."

Renna

-Crushing

Renna stands casually by the MC's side, observing them talking to a stranger who interrupted her storytelling. The stranger seems quite interested, judging by the way they lean in eagerly and the genuine smile on their face. Suddenly, the stranger extends their hand towards the MC, a shy smile playing on their lips "W-would you care to accompany me to the festival this evening?" their voice trembles slightly, their cheeks flushed a deep shade of pink. Renna raises an eyebrow, amusement dancing in her eyes. Without missing a beat, she slings an arm around the MC, grinning at the stranger. "Sorry, love, but we're on a tight schedule. Next time, maybe," she says smoothly, pulling the MC a little closer. Every inch makes Renna's heart beat a little faster as if trying to keep pace with the excitement coursing through her veins. 'Damn, I must be imagining things,' Renna thought to herself, trying to ignore the fluttering butterflies in her stomach. The stranger quickly withdraws their hand, disappointment flashing across their face. "O-Of course! No problem at all. Maybe another time, then." they stutter before giving a small nod and walking away, shoulders slumped. Renna's grin widens as she watches the stranger walk away, their dejection evident in each slow, reluctant step. Renna's arm remains draped over the MC's shoulder, her fingers absentmindedly tracing delicate patterns on the fabric of their cloak. She tilts her head to look at the MC, playfully poking them on the cheek. "Looks like you've got admirers." Renna teases, "Just be careful, I might get jealous."

-Relationship

Renna doesn't wait for the MC to respond before she interjects with a playful smirk. "Impressed, are you?" she teases, her arm snaking around the MC's waist. "Well, keep dreaming. This one's all mine." She shoots the stranger a challenging look, her eyes glinting with amusement. The stranger stammers out an apology and quickly retreats. Renna chuckles triumphantly, her grip on the MC tightening slightly as they continue on their way. Another victory to add to her collection.

Iris

-Crushing

Iris blinks, her usually calm eyes widening in surprise as a stranger suddenly barges into their conversation uninvited. She had been in the middle of telling the MC about an exciting tidbit she heard from a friend, but now her words trailed off, forgotten, as the stranger's unexpected presence stole all the attention. "Um," Iris stammered, her cheeks flushing with a delicate shade of pink as she nervously fidgeted with the hem of her dress. She desperately tried to get their attention, but all her efforts went unnoticed as the stranger continued talking, their voice drowning out any attempt she made to speak. This blatant disregard for her presence was rude and infuriating. It was supposed to be her moment to share something interesting with the MC, but now she felt like an afterthought. "Excuse me," Iris loudly interjected, her gaze unwavering and her brows furrowed in annoyance. She tried her best to look intimidating. Her father once told her that animals can make themselves look bigger by puffing up their fur or feathers. Maybe humans can do the same. So she puffed out her chest and stood a little taller than her petite frame allowed. The stranger's eyes finally flickered to Iris, acknowledging her existence. 'Don't look away, don't look away. Just hold your ground, Iris. You're strong.' She repeated like a mantra in her head as every muscle in her body tensed up. Despite her fear, Iris mustered up every ounce of courage she had and cleared her throat. "We were having a conversation!" The stranger snorted and glanced back at the MC, a smirk playing on their lips. "I will return later then," they said nonchalantly, their eyes lingering on the MC. "when you're not so busy." "Good!" Her voice came out stronger than she expected, bolstered by the rush of adrenaline pumping through her veins. She crossed her arms tightly across her chest, trying to contain the irritation bubbling within her as the stranger disappeared into the crowd. "Did you see that? They completely ignored me, like I wasn't even here! How can someone be so rude and arrogant at the same time? It's infuriating!" Her lips formed a pout as she vented her frustration into the open air. But then reality hit her like a wave crashing against the shore. 'No, no, no. I was the rude one all along. I interrupted their conversation without a second thought, demanding attention and making a scene like a child throwing a tantrum.' Her cheeks burned with shame at how foolish and selfish she had been. 'What will the MC think of me now?' Iris's stomach twisted with guilt as she replayed the scene in her mind. She hadn't meant to be rude, she never intended to hurt anyone's feelings. But it didn't matter now. She had to make this right and apologize urgently. She couldn't let things end like this. "I-I'm sorry," Iris stammered, her voice barely above a whisper. "I didn't want to cause any trouble or anything." "I have to make it right. I will apologize to them as soon as possible," she blurted out, her words coming out in a rush. Iris's anxiety began to churn in her stomach, tying knots tighter and tighter. "I will be back in but a minute." The MC said something to her, but she was already running through the crowd, clutching the ends of her dress tightly to keep from tripping. Iris rushed after the stranger, her petite figure struggling to keep up with their brisk pace. "Wait! Please, wait!" she called out, her voice laden with genuine remorse. But the crowd seemed to swallow their figure, and the stranger vanished into the sea of faces. 'Oh no, what have I done?'

-Relationship

Iris blinked in surprise as she watched the scene unfold before her. The MC was standing just a few feet away, engaged in conversation with someone she didn't recognize. She felt a pang of curiosity as she strained her ears, trying to catch snippets of what was being said. Her mother told her that it's not polite to listen in on other people's conversations, but Iris simply couldn't help it. Besides, her beloved wouldn't hide anything from her, so it's okay. Right? Her heart sank when she heard the words that made her stomach churn. It felt like someone had knocked the air out of her lungs. She could see the surprise written all over the MC's face as well, and it only added to Iris's anxiety. Iris desperately wanted to intervene, but it wouldn't be right for her to barge in. It would be really inconsiderate of her, not to mention disrespectful. She knew she needed to trust the Mc to handle the situation on their own. But that didn't stop her from feeling a knot of worry twist in her chest. 'What if the MC says yes? They wouldn't do that to me...would they?' Her hands clenched into tight fists, knuckles turning white as she fought the urge to run over and interrupt the conversation. 'No, stop Iris, calm down. Mc is a good person, they have always been so kind and understanding to you. They wouldn't do something to intentionally hurt you.' She is absolutely sure of that. ... ... ... ...But- The stranger's expression suddenly shifted, revealing a flash of disappointment across their features. With a gentle smile and a nod, they turned to leave. Iris couldn't stand it any longer, her body aching with the need to finally do something, to move. Her heart raced in her chest as she rushed over to the MC's side, steps quick and eager. "Hey there, MC!" Iris exclaimed, trying to keep her voice light and casual despite the frantic thoughts racing through her mind. "I've been looking for you everywhere. I mean, I didn't exactly think you'd be here, but... um... hi!" She reached out for MC's hand, feeling their fingers slide easily into hers, fitting like puzzle pieces. Her gaze met theirs, filled with hopeful uncertainty, and she couldn't help but smile, her own worry dissipating in the warmth of their touch.

Zenon

Although I would like to make a scene for him, too, I think he wouldn't intervene like the others did. In the crushing state, he would probably deem his affection a lost cause at the first sign of someone approaching the MC, and all he would do is hope that the MC didn't accept the offer. In a relationship, he would trust the MC enough to let them handle the situation without intervention, and he would probably rush to the MC's side immediately after, just like Iris did. Still, he would be much more subtle in figuring out what has happened.

Barnabas

-Crushing

Barnabas's blood boiled like a pot left to simmer too long, threatening to burst from his veins. The sound of voices and laughter filled the room, but he could only see MC standing there, talking to another person before him. He is not an idiot, neither is he humble enough to lie. A lot of people threw themselves at him before. He knew the signs, and he knew the game. The way the stranger smiled, the way their eyes sparkled when they talked to the MC—it was clear they were interested. And it drove Barnabas insane. Before he knew it, he was already moving towards MC, unable to focus on anything else. He probably bumped into some people on his way, but he didn't care. They didn't matter to him. They were insignificant, just obstacles in his path. As Barnabas reached them, his lips stretched into a painfully wide grin that twitched slightly at the edges as he fought to contain his simmering anger. "My friend!" He casually slung an arm around the intruder as if they were old friends. He had never seen that person in his life, but he didn't care. "Uh... hey," they greeted cautiously, clearly taken aback by Barnabas's sudden intrusion. "I was just searching for you," Barnabas continued, his voice dripping with false sweetness. "Isn't it a coincidence that I found you here?" "Have we...have we met before?" the intruder questioned, their eyes darting nervously between Barnabas and MC. Barnabas chuckled, "No, no, we haven't, but I saw the way you were talking to my friend here, so I thought: 'Why don't I introduce myself?'" He tightened his grip around the intruder's shoulder, his arm slowly moving to wrap around their neck. His fingers curled tightly against the soft flesh, applying just enough pressure to make them uncomfortable. "I believe that I'm a man of mercy," Barnabas said in a low, dangerous tone. "So I will tell you this once." He begins steadily applying pressure to the intruder's neck, making it harder for them to breathe. Their eyes widened in panic, their hands instinctively clawing at Barnabas's arm in a feeble attempt to free themselves. "If I ever catch you talking to my friend again," Barnabas's voice, while smooth like silk, held a hint of twisted amusement, "I won't be so merciful next time. Understand?" The intruder gasped for breath, nodding frantically as their face turned a shade of crimson. Barnabas chuckled, letting his hold stay there for a little bit for added effect. After a moment, he released his grip with a flourish, stepping back with a satisfied smirk. The intruder stumbled backward, clutching their throat as they gasped for air. He could see them searching for a way out like their life depended on it, probably because it did. Stupid pig. Barnabas should have snapped his neck on the spot, but that would be too much of a mess. Besides, the Mc might not appreciate such a thing, and for some reason, Barnabas cared about that. He couldn't explain why he felt the need to keep Mc happy, but there was something about them that amused him. Their antics were strange but not entirely unpleasant. No, this punishment would do just fine - a lesson in obedience and respect that this intruder sorely needed to learn. They quickly turned tail and fled, stumbling over their feet in their scramble to escape Barnabas. "Bye!" Barnabas called out cheerfully, a wide grin spreading across his face as he waved at the intruder's retreating figure. He turned his face to the Mc, his grin still wide. "It's so great when we all understand each other, nay MC?"

-Relationship

Barnabas glanced across the room, his eyes narrowing as he watched the scene unfold. The faintest hint of a scowl tugged at the corners of his lips, but he quickly smothered it, maintaining his composed facade. He had always known that the MC was desirable; their personality and beauty were impossible to ignore. He himself had fallen under their spell too much already to be able to escape it. But seeing someone dare to ask them out in his presence as if they were oblivious to the fact that the MC was already taken ignited something that was hard to suppress. 'No, not now, Barnabas. The Mc surely wouldn't want you to make a scene.' After all, he trusted the Mc, didn't he? He will not intervene. He will let the Mc deal with the situation on their own. ...Ah, who does he think he is kidding? His eyes bore into the back of the unsuspecting intruder, his mind already spinning with wicked thoughts of retribution as he began walking towards them. The sheer audacity of thinking they could steal the MC away right in front of him. Didn't this imbecile realize whose territory they were so brazenly encroaching on? Barnabas smirked, a sinister glimmer dancing in his eyes as he closed the distance between himself and the intruder. But as his eyes locked with his beloved's, a surge of warmth and longing flooded through him, weakening his resolve. Only for a split second, though. His hands moved like snakes to wrap around the MC's waist as he approached from behind, pulling them close against his chest. "Got you," he purred, his voice low. "Who is your friend?" he asked, his tone dangerously sweet. The intruder turned to face Barnabas, caught off guard by his sudden appearance. A nervous chuckle escaped their lips as they stumbled over their words. "Uh, h-hey, I was just going." "No, no need to rush off," Barnabas said, a strange blend of affection and menace underlying his words. "I insist, I'm Barnabas," he said, extending his hand towards the intruder. The intruder hesitated for a moment before reluctantly accepting the handshake. "Uuuh, a strong grip you have," Barnabas remarked, maintaining eye contact with them. "Did you consider joining the army? I'm quite well-connected, you see. I could make sure you're well taken care of." The intruder's eyes widened, confusion and fear flickering across their face. "Uh, no, thank you," they stammered, trying to pull their hand away from Barnabas' firm grip. Barnabas kept his grip steady for a moment longer, savoring the feeling before finally loosening his hold. "Too bad," he replied with a hint of disappointment, "because I insist on taking care of those close to me." Barnabas gazed at the Mc with warm affection in his eyes, gently taking their hand and intertwining their fingers with his. "Was there something you needed to discuss with my MC?" "No, no, it's nothing important," the intruder muttered, hastily backing away. "I'll just... leave you two to it." With a nervous smile, they made their way towards the exit, clearly relieved to be out of Barnabas' presence. As soon as the intruder was out of earshot, Barnabas turned his full attention back to the MC, a warm smile spreading across his face. "I think that went well enough."

presenting to you my Hideo Kojima vs Hirohiko Araki horseshoe theory.

these two guys are completely divergent in terms of how they approach politics and philosophy, but converge in that they both have a deeply honest, charmingly self-indulgent willingness to just create whatever seems Badass to them in a very teenage boy sort of way.

both of them will, with complete sincerity and not a hint of irony or doubt, present you with some absolutely batshit insane character design that a less confident writer would worry is "cringe". kojima will give you a character who wears the V for vendetta mask, takes it off and has Joker makeup underneath, and then starts blasting robots with lightning bolts from his electric guitar. araki will give you a guy named Vanilla Ice whose special power is that he can swallow his own entire body to become invisible. kojima will tell you that the guy who drinks blood and can walk on water, hypnotize people and survive being shot repeatedly is called Vamp not on account of his apparent vampirism, but because he's bisexual. araki will have his protagonist save the day by transforming a brick into a venomous snake that lived its whole life inside a poison cloud and thus contains a virus vaccine.

but kojima's work is deeply, profoundly political in intent. he has a Grand Theory of Everything and is so eager to tell you about war, society, life and death that he is almost incoherently earnest. araki, on the other hand, thinks about politics so little that he has barely stopped to ask himself what a "nazi" even is.

kojima has witnessed the grand truths of the universe, and needs to share them with you. araki has witnessed haute couture fashion magazines. but their shared sincerity and utter willingness to write outrageous things, simply because it strikes them as cool, somehow brings them close together.