#vacation had to get away
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Kobeni and Kishibe go away
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First Day Of My First Adult/Solo Vacation
OBSERVATIONS
1. Is it an odd impulse to want to make snow angels in a freshly made king size bed?
2. I bought a set of aventurine rune stones at a new agey gem store.
3. i bought an Irish ceremonial sword at an antique/estate clearing shop
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thingies
#witch hat tag#orufrey#nother small post (it's not small..) meek post. mild post#sensei QRTed the last one with a sweet message and made my week <3#drawn bc she randomly announced that originally qif & eas were going to be more openly hostile with each other#but she decided after feedback that qifrey would. Restrain himself now he has children in his life.#like pikachu with togepi in pikachu's vacation. She didn't say that part#just love that since i always say i see them as having this kind of autistic warfare expressed in ways other than actual fighting#since their youths. but i guess we don't know how much they had to interact as kids#i just know they're both opposite ends of Autistic Kids: one do-gooder kid who gets REALLY irked when others dont follow The Rules#and the non-verbal autistic kid who IS one push away from actually biting people#Sometimes autistic people shouldnt be friends.#anyway why did she randomly state this now of all times. Are they interacting in the next chapter. But why.#the next chapter scares me. a teaser piece of art she posted is like.....What is actually going to happen here.#What is going to happen .#anyway hope all fans of my silly drawings are doing well out there
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...
#sorry im thinking abt death again#because it's weird to think that ive been in the room. maybe a meter away from someone as they died#that someone being my mom. its just weird. the time in the hospital feels like it happened in some dark little pocket universe detached from#time. a calm room and then the soft blips of a monitor then the nurse rushing in to say she'd passed#i dont kno y ppl use that phrase: passed on. i mean i do. it softens the topic. makes it sound peaceful. ive yet to use it. i just say she#died bc thats what happened. is that insensitive? i dunno. when i was home i realized that i come off as much stranger than i think. the way#my family see me doesnt fit how i see myself. i dont kno what to do with that. i dunno. theyre all together today#for an early easter. and im halfway across the country again. nose so stuffy ive had to mouth breathe for the last 3 days#and again. everything feels the same as it did before but also profoundly different. sometimes i cry in the mornings. or when i think abt#future vacations she wont be there for. bc in the end she quickly slipped away in a way that couldn't be described as peaceful until her#last half a day. and all i can think about in that tiny room is how scary it would be to lose control like that#and how its not fair and she didnt deserve to die only halfway through a lifetime. but its not about fair and its not about deserving.#sometimes bad things just happen. that's life. and now i own a book called motherless daughters. and now im standing with the countless#others who've lost their moms too early. ive already become aware of 3 ppl in my daily life who are in the same club#i keep thinking about this moment that happened between my parents at the hospital. apparently my dad was helping her get cleaned up and her#stomach was so bloated she looked like she had a bby in there. which my dad said. and my mom apparently said: but it's a baby no one want. i#dont kno y that upsets me so much. all the things i heard abt her being in the hospital before i got there upset me. and the rest of my#family was there to see it. so i have the least traumatic version of the story. and i got almost 27 years with her. except my sisters#probably got more time with her bc i spent so much time away. or maybe not. i dunno.#i dunno. im just sad that shes gone and sad that it was drawn out even a little bit. 6 days isnt long but im sure it felt like an eternity.#again not fair. nothings fair. 53 years of unfairness culminating in a tragedy. she would hate me characterizing it like that. she lived a#full life as they say. full with an asterisk on account of length#unrelated
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Modern au silly vacation idea
#vacation all I ever wanted vacation had to get away 🎵🎶#I just want to see them hanging out doing normal things like just chillin and walking around and stuff idk#modern au#my art#downton abbey#Charles carson#Robert crawley#fan art#figure#sketch#illustration
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persona playing machine
#hi imma talk in the tags#i finished p5r i had never finished p5 before bc id get too busy with life stuff and the game left a bad taste in my mouth#but i finished p5r and felt pretty much the same so its just not for me. but i love p1-p4 so. idk. i could get really mean#but i dont want anyone to kill me in the middle of the night so imma b a good boy#it took me forever bc works been kicking my ass and i have a bunch of car shit i have to deal with. im so tired.#i need a vacation where i can do just chris things :( i get one around thanksgiving i just gotta wait another month ugh#plus. i miss having time to draw. im always away from home havin to do shit im so irritated#anyway who cares look at my vita. its so cute. i got it years ago i love this stupid thing i wish sony did too lmao
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okay google how do i move out of eastern europe but stay in the eu but go somewhere i speak the language but somewhere that has healthcare and somewhere where i dont need to become a construction worker and also somewhere that is not germany. thanks
#i wanna go to aotearoa I've always wanted to but it's so FAR AWAY. also i need somewhere cold also i#love authentic gothic buildings too much to leave europe. but omfggggg#like it's truly so. i dont want to move somewhere where english isnt a main language but the#uk is out and ireland is unlikely and canada is just somewhat nicer french usa and nz is 4 days travel away. blows up#whatever i have 4 semesters of uni left to think about it. it just feels like im#hurtling full speed at the inevitability of living the rest of my life in Germany#i dont want to live in germany idek why but im sooo. like omg nooo 😭😭😭#partly because it's such a cliché but also coz it's such a vacation country for me like we#went there for vacation like. unironically at least 3 times every single year#insert joke abt *getting back at the 10000000000 german tourists that come to hungary every day* that I'm too sleepy to make#it's so . like i used to have a specific goal in mind (uk ☹️) but then SOMEONE had to go and leave the eu#and also the uk sucks fat shit like csöbörből vödörbe omg. but now i have no#real goal so im just drifting w the vague knowledge that any second now I'll have to pack all my#shit up and escape before it's too late. but where 😀😀😀#i have no qualms abt leaving my f*mily behind but I'll miss budapest#and if i left Europe I'd miss it too especially coz even canada feels really far let alone nz which yknow. 3-4 days of travel#it's the lack of goals that's killing me like OMFGG HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WORK HARD AND#STRIVE FOR SMTG WHEN I HAVE NOTHING SPECIFIC IN MIND...#i mean ''get the fuck out'' is something but it's not Enough. i need to be insane about a#place that's accessible. all the cities/locations im crazy about are inaccessible for one reason or another#bristol and wales are in the uk. nz is on the exact opposite side of the planet. life so sad.#canada is the most likely one honestly but like omgggg. godddddjfdnffnfjfmmf#they should invent a budapest that's not in hungary. they should invent a hungary that isn't comically awful#barking#ok to rb#eastern europe#like im fluent in 3 languages and i can get by in like 10 other ones i Could brush up on any language relatively quickly if it came to that#but it's like. 1. I'd have to pick a location 2. learning a new language also means#getting an entire new personality as well which yknow. idk if i have the capacity for another one rn#i should just become fluent in the ones im somewhat good at but idk which to pick
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leon holding back the urge to say “i threw a dart at the map and it landed in the bin” whenever someone asks him how he ended up in romania.
#where’s everyone going? ❯ ooc.#tbd.#easier to say than “i had a breakdown at 3am and drove to the airport because i needed to get far away from everything and from myself”#but yeah it’s his default answer whenever hit with tf are u doing here#clownery aside i am trying to flesh this out more#aka him in the village#because i don’t see the point in “re8 but with leon”#best vacation up to date coming right up
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Summer is ending and with it, my mental sanity is restored. Thank christ
#it was a super nice summer overall got to go to my first pride#hang out with cate and emilio and had a lot of fun#went to helsinki to meet pyry and had an amazing vacation#very good working experience too#but the season ITSELF? the TEMPERATURE? no.#get away. bring fall back THIS ISTANT.
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A very stupid amount of hours studying later and I have amassed a very enormous study with me video collection, which I have organized by length and pomodoro style (or lack thereof!) because of course I did
#study with me#study inspo#study inspiration#I need to study less honestly it's getting out of hand#I also haven't taken a vacation in well over a year bc I had to do research last summer 🥲#just 2 more months and I'll walk away with my degree though so I just gotta hang in there 😭
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Kaeya once gave up drinking for a whole month in penance because he'd accidentally embarrassed Diona in setting off her instincts to pounce by idly reflecting lights from an ice crystal.
#hc; kaeya#hc; diona#//To be fair; he wasn't actually aiming to distract HER#//But a cat he'd been playing with#//She just happened to be walking by with a tray of drinks and IMMEDIATELY lunged for it#//Not only did he promise to give up drinks that long in apology; but also volunteered to clean up the mess AND paid for the drinks spilled#//Mind you; it was absolute HELL for him; abruptly going cold turkey that long#//His migraines got so bad; it wasn't even funny#//But he kept to his promise anyways. Bc he is a Gentleman and a Knight#//He NEVER let her know just how bad it got for him that month. every time she tried to pry or taunt; he would swiftly take her focus away#//His knights tho weren't so lucky lmao. It was known as Hell Month; with the training and patrols he put them through#//On the bright side tho; their skills improved Greatly AND troubles in Mond decreased Immensely; too#//He offered everyone staggered paid vacation times in the following months in apology; if not offered to pay for drinks that month too#//Most took up his drinks offer; luckily enough#//Diona claims that month was the most peaceful she'd every worked#//The fact that Kaeya was suddenly a Lot quicker to Intimidate/kick nuisances out of the Cats Tail for her MAY have had smth to do with it#//She still argues since he could do a whole month without alcohol; he could easily give it up altogether#//She still doesn't get why he keeps laughing hysterically every time she brings it up#//It annoys her to no end
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#i want my vacation back#i didnt get to wnjoy the last part of it at all because i was just so worried and upset#and i was away from home and with someone#so i had no alone time
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do i let feminism lose and spend all of my savings on a rhinoplasty or do i continue to just. live Like That lol
#kms idk what to do#it's doing research on best surgeons in your country hours while your friends with normal noses are sleeping#anyway it's been a great little vacation and i had a lot of fun but the absolute fucking dread whenever someone is taking a picture#and i cant control how it looks. is ruining all the fun.#i said fuck it once today and then saw that picture my friend took of me and wanted to yeet myself into traffic straight away#the worst thing is im obsessed with big unusual conventionally unattractive noses. i love them.#but mine is not this hot sexy aquiline kind. its just a huge round bulbous fucking potato in the middle of my face#its the kind of nose no one will ever find pretty or hot or even interesting. its just comical. it looks like a fake clown nose.#and while it is indeed very in character of me to have a fucking clown nose attached to my face 24/7 forever#its literally making me wanna wear a paper bag over my head#goddd idk. cause like. what if something goes wrong lol knowing my luck it definitely could#and then uhhhh idk i guess i really would just kms lol#funny thing - didn't even really notice it before uni. like i always knew there was something seriously fucking wrong with my face#but could never put a finger on what it is exactly#and then this uni friend made that one comment about my nose and suddenly everything clicked into place#you're absolutely right queen the fucking nose aka the CENTRAL thing on my face is the main culprit here lol#anyway not a day has gone by since then that i wouldnt look into the mirror and felt awful and pathetic about it <3#i am ready to go against all of my ideals and just do it. ill have no money left but maybe its worth it. to get a little peace of mind. idk.
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i’m so anxious about going on holiday :/
#one year we had our first family vacation and all of a sudden i have travel anxiety now#are we gonna crash our car in the mountains?? roll off of one? get murdered in the city?? be at the wrong place wrong time??#is my brother going to get lost??#am I going to get lost??#is someone going to drown and get swept away in the ocean??#help#if anyone has been to tuscany or Italy in general how is it#i hate saying this but every single trip we go on im just counting the days til we go home#it doesn’t even matter if im enjoying it#there’s always this lingering feeling of dread in my chest even if it’s small#˚｡ ⋆୨୧˚ dear diary… 💌
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