“I didn’t mean to fall. I just hung around the wrong people.”

stills under the cut:

I have so much to say about this.

1. Why do Michael and Uriel look like upper class lesbian mums who just came from a court hearing cos their kid got called into the principals office?!

2. Michael + Uriel = Muriel

3. These are Muriel's lesbian mums, Crowley and Aziraphale are their uncles, emancipated from the family for being too silly

4. Michael and Uriel are so fucking done with aziraphale and... I mean...the traitor and the demon's shit

Uriel

i’ve had an epiphany

We know Crowley doesn't (didn't?) like Gabriel for multiple reasons: he's an arsehole, he wanted to barbeque the love of his life, etc etc

Crowley never really found out Gabriel lowkey punched Aziraphale's gut. Softly, yes, but alas, still happened. And I bet Crowley wouldn't be happy about that.

Even better! Anyone remember our beloved Sandalphon? You know, the guy that ACTUALLY punched Aziraphale in the gut and is kinda terrifying ngl? And Uriel! Uriel pushed Aziraphale against the bloody wall!

Yeah so. Talking the good talk is a thing. But touching the angel? Oh boy, do I wish Crowley KNEW about those lil incidents. I just need him to go feral and make some fried archangel wings

you think crowley and Aziraphale bicker like an old married couple?

u forgot about these babies

Can we dream a bit?

Guys I know its unbelievable but IMAGINE.

IMAGINE archangels genuinely helping Azi to make a difference.

IMAGINE Michael which is tired of Gabriel's leadership style. Michael which learned something from demons. Michael which is smarter than most of archangels and whose intelligence is appreciated by Azi.

IMAGINE Sandalphon which tastes earthly martial arts. Sandalphon which discovers cinema and jazz (i don't know why but i am sure he will like it)

IMAGINE Uriel which gets into the spirit of human competitions. What a chance to participate "wars" instead of avoiding it.

We like BAMF!Azi or soft!Azi which is failing and regretting his decision but what if this is his lucky day?

Uriel and Michael

“You”

HIS CROSSED HIS ARMS OVER HIS CHEST, OVERCOME WITH LOVE, AND THAT’S SHOWING ON HIS FACE !!!!!!

The ArchAngels

I am starting a new headcanon, angels are birbs.

Starring Michael, Gabriel and Uriel from left to right

I'm just obsessed with birds 😔

I present, for your consideration, Uriel's god tier levels of sass:

They're extremely done with whatever everyone else (especially Michael) is doing:

They really don't take any shit. And they make sure everyone knows it:

They know EXACTLY what's going on with Aziraphale and Crowley:

Bonus- this SILLY LITTLE DANCE thing they do here:

I wonder how each angel and demon would change if they spent a long enough time on earth. Like if they actually interacted and got to know humans, figure things out without miracles, travel, and live on earth

Maybe they'd start to enjoy things like food, relationships, or music. I could see Muriel trying different kinds of tea, Michael living in a fancy house, Eric getting drive through (while driving the wrong way through), Saraqael miracling permanent accessibility ramps, Gabriel getting drunk, Beelzebub going to concerts, Uriel reading books, Hastur visiting places that aren't dark or musty for once (like the beach), Shax making crazy old lady friends, Sandalphon joining a d&d group, Metatron getting run over in the street, and all of them getting arrested for tax evasion (which they miraculously escape)

How many times would they die because they don't know how earth works, or how many times would they burn down their own houses? How would they adjust to human social interaction, people perceiving them in different ways, and people who are interested in getting to know them, not by obligation, but curiosity?

There's so many POSSIBILITIES

Heaven and Hell may be corrupt, but seriously just take everyone on a business trip, or Aziraphale can dump them all on earth and make them deal

Uriel with Flowers ❤️

To me, the Good Omens angels/demons read as intentionally incompetent. Or, well, not exactly intentionally… but not exactly unintentionally either.

The best way I can explain this is with insects. An insect doesn’t know why it likes certain stimuli, but it will still go toward them. It doesn’t know why it dislikes other stimuli, but it will still avoid them.

Being a competent angel is deeply unpleasant. It requires getting to know earth and humans, which brings up uncomfortable feelings about how much heaven/hell sucks. It requires doing things that will upset the humans, and allowing things to happen which they have the power to stop. That brings up even more bad feelings, especially if they’ve been doing their homework wrt earth and humans.

An angel may not know why they feel so bad learning certain things about earth. Maybe they’ll assume they just don’t belong there, maybe they’ll look at human things as “gross matter”, but the end result is that they shrink away from the unpleasant stimulus. As a side bonus, their lack of knowledge means they’ll sometimes fumble their angelic tasks, or leave enough space for Crowley and Aziraphale to fix things for the humans afterward.

As history goes on, more of that slack creeps into the system, more bureaucracy piles up under the wheels to subtly stop things from happening, and there’s less and less divine/infernal intervention.

If you asked them if that was the intended outcome, they would deny it, even in their own minds. If they were actually aware of how much they’re nerfing themselves, that would be active disobedience, rather than a case of “ah well, it must have been God’s will for this task to fail.” So the knowledge of what they’re doing is itself a noxious stimulus, and they’ve gradually, instinctively, learned to avoid that too.

But they’re sort of doing it on purpose. It’s just that part of “it” involves “not realizing what they’re doing.”

Related: Angelic Communication Styles

Engaged to @janeway-lover

Extra tissues would be greatly appreciated.

they/them

Can people please stop taking photos of me without my permission? (see below)

Hi there! This is Barbara, the sentient taxidermied bird on top of Uriel's head! I will pop my head into posts sometimes, just to give my opinion.