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#undertale fic ramble for today
simcardiac-arrested · 9 months
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Go go go cutscene cutscene cutscene!!!
been thinking about one of my favorite undertale fics lately, it’s like. the best undertale fic to me if not the best fic on ao3 period. i liek it so much. it’s the scientist series by talkingsoup and i will Never stop talking about like i Know i have mentioned it before but i am physically incapable of shutting up about it. it’s so good. i once tried to get my best friend to read it even though she doesn’t know english but i tried to convince her to read it with google translate (it didn’t last long but it was worth the effort). it’s So Good. i discovered it in like 2018 or 2019 and have reread it at least two times since it’s just like AUEHGGHHH. gaster’s downfall and then him haunting the narrative … the exploration of sans’ backstory …… the characterizations ………. it’s all very well written and also very dark and traumatic. They make Shit happen to these characters. but it gets better. i think ? i have never finished the series because iirc it only finished around a year ago and i haven’t reread it since. but i am Thinking about it. it’ll probably take me months because 1. i have to come to terms with the fact that one of my favorite stories will be Finished(tm) 2. i have to hype myself up to reread it because it’s a very long series with like 400k words or something AND the second installment is verrrry dark and heavy considering it explores the whole reset bullshit and flowey is putting sans through 29263937 meatgrinders
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agreementtale · 2 years
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When doubts cloud my judgement
Started today with ADHD medication, part of me is excited for finally getting to that point in my life, but part of me is upset because is damn expensive and it had to come from my partner's pocket.
My mind keeps repeating something like “I've lived 30 years of my life without it, why choose to start whining now?” something that was deeply ingrained in my brain by my upbringing:
“Don't make noise, don't waste our time and money if you can just clench your teeth and soldier on, you are the older, the smart one, the one that we don't need to worry about, so don't make yourself into a problem”
When my mind goes on that path I like to close my eyes and imagine Papyrus patting me in the back a little bit too strongly, but just what I need shock myself out of spiraling and give him my full attention:
“THAT MAKES NO SENSE AT ALL! IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW MUCH YOUR TOTAL HP IS! IF IT’S NOT FULL, YOU HEAL IT. YOU DON'T WAIT FOR IT LOWER TO A SINGLE DIGIT!”
“just because you can survive it does not mean you deserve it, kid”
“YES! AND YOU ARE NOT WHINING, YOU ARE ASKING FOR HELP, THOSE ARE TWO VERY DIFFERENT THINGS”
“so what if it costs some G? allowing a loved one to provide for something you need is not being selfish. say, wouldn't you do the same for them in return? don't you already do just that on a daily basis?”
“YOUR PARENTS MAY HAVE BEEN TOO LAZY TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR MENTAL HEALTH, BUT NOW YOU HAVE A CHANCE TO DO THIS FOR YOURSELF, AND THAT IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO!”
“listen to my bro, kid, he gives the best advices. but you already know that, don’t you?”
“OF COURSE THEY DO! NO ONE IS BETTER AT ADVICE GIVING THAN THE GREAT PAPYRUS, NYEH HEH HEH!”
And is only after seeing Paps bright smile and Sans knowing wink that I slowly open my eyes.
Sometimes they are wet, but that is not a bad thing, they are like this because I feel like someone cares. And because I realize I am allowed that much kindness, on those moments I can even get myself to admit that I deserve it.
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an4mations · 10 months
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Intro Post!
Hello hello! You can call me Anne [she/her]. I'm a young artist, aspiring to become a full-time (or at least part-time) animator/illustrator. Currently working on my AUs (fics and art likewise).
Other active socials:-
DeviantArt [All finished art]
A03 [AU Fics/Writings]
Twitter (X) [Not very active, only there to be upto date with a few of my fav artists]
Navigation Tags:- Art tags:- #anne sketches and #an4mations AU ideas/Drafts:- #au idea My writing:- #anne's writings 'Debating' tag:- #rambling anne Ask tags:- #ask anne and #ask an4mations Gifts and/or Fanart:- #save tag and #for me WIPs:- #art wip
Reference Tags:- #saving this for future reference (for referencing later) #gonna read this later (just good writing in general)
Side blog (for keeping track of all my art) :- @an4mations2
Original AUs:-
Basic storylines/drafts:-
Bloodied Fantasies (FNAF DCA)
CorruptTale (Undertale)
The Devil on your Shoulder (Undertale)
Haunting Remembrance (Undertale)
Tainted of Love (Undertale)
Original Concepts:-
ReaderTale (Undertale)
UniTale (Undertale)
★~ Art requests are OPEN ~★
General FAQs:-
★ What app do you use to draw?
I use Ibis Paint on my Android tablet!
★ Which brushes do you use?
For sketching and lineart, I use the Mechanical pencil #1. For colouring, I use the Soft Felt tip pen.
★ When and how did you start drawing?
From around 2020-21. My pops introduced me to BNHA, and I've been a fan ever since. I started drawing the cast of BNHA, and also designed my sona in their universe! I perfected my skills over the years, and that is how I am the artist you know today. And yes, I'm self taught. It's amazing how much you can learn on your own with the internet.
★ What is your [insert AU name] about?
The details have been sorted through the tags! For the basic storylines, please refer to the linked posts above. You can always ask me about anything regarding my AUs.
★ Are requests open? What are the rules?
Requests are always open unless I mention otherwise. The general rules apply, No hard NSFW, fetish or in general anything out of the ordinary. Gore is fine, I'll draw it to the best of my current abilities. Feel free to DM or ask me about the specifics.
★ Can I repost your art?
Yes, but you need to ask first. Reposting without permission is not allowed.
★ Can we be friends?
Yes of course! Everyone is welcome here, but please don't be weird since that would result in a block.
And! If I follow you, then that is a sign of me wanting to be friends and/or mutuals. So kindly bestow upon me the ray of friendship dear people. (lmfao social anxiety)
★ What are your fandoms?
Undertale/Underverse (currently active)
BNHA/MHA
FNAF and/or DCA
Hazbin Hotel
★ Who are your inspirations?
There are several actually--
Artists:-
Mr. Horikoshi Kohei [who inspired me to draw]
Vivienne (Vivziepop) [moderate influence on my art style]
Jakei [major influence on my art style]
and a lot of the people I follow ^^
Music Artists:-
Nyx The Shield Official
xXtha (also an artist)
SharaXofficial (also an artist)
StormHeart
CG5
Try Hard Ninja
Paranoid DJ
Silva Hound
Siwel
The Living Tombstone
I'll add more when I receive more questions.
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sweetlilbird · 2 years
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♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤
☆Welcome to my blog☆
Hello! I'm sweetlilbird, but you can also call me Gray!
I'm a 27 year old writer, who dabbles mainly in fan fiction, but I hope to post some of my original work someday soon! I currently only write for Undertale/Deltarune, but in the future I will be expanding into other fandoms!
☆Current Fics☆
○ Where The Daffodils Grow [Mature] (Papyrus/Reader Reverse Harem)
● And The June Bugs Sing [Mature] (Sans/Reader Reverse Harem) *temporary hiatus*
○ Kinktober 2022 [Explicit] (VariousAUs/Reader)
● All of The Stars [Mature] (Sans/Reader & Papyrus/Reader Reverse Harem)
☆Completed Works☆
○ Progress Is Not Linear [T+] (Papyrus/Reader)
● Cash It In [Explicit] (Swapfell Papyrus/Reader)
○ The Gasters Ratchet Salon [T+] (All Sanses & Papyri/Reader)
● A Strong Start [T+] (Fellswap Gold Papyrus/Self Insert(Reader))
☆Discord Server☆
Sweetlilbird's roost (16+)
I do have an 18+ channel on that server, but I require proof of age in order to let users into that.
☆Commission Info☆
COMISSIONS ARE CLOSED!
☆Frequently Used Tags☆
○ sweetlilbird rambles (all of my ramblings go here)
● sweetlilbirdart (rarely used but hey, I do draw sometimes!)
○ I tag all of my fics with their titles!
☆Current Status☆
○ Slowly coming back from a long hiatus! 🎉
♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤
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delta-the-mando · 1 year
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I posted 708 times in 2022
75 posts created (11%)
633 posts reblogged (89%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@dimonds456
@lover-of-skellies
@ace-oreos
@askcupsandcasinos
I tagged 708 of my posts in 2022
#reblog - 356 posts
#that��s your queue - 274 posts
#cuphead - 270 posts
#mugman - 144 posts
#star wars - 84 posts
#undertale - 64 posts
#the bad batch - 39 posts
#bad batch - 39 posts
#clone force 99 - 39 posts
#the cuphead show spoilers - 38 posts
Longest Tag: 140 characters
#i remember reading a short oneshot fic inspired by some fanart (of the game) where mugman offers his soul to the devil in exchange for cup’s
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
*remembers new Cuphead episodes today*
*checks episode list*
*sees The Devil’s Pitchfork is last*
*CRIES*
107 notes - Posted August 19, 2022
#4
Lined up their boxes, saw a lovely squad photo
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110 notes - Posted October 14, 2022
#3
Came across a lone mug in its natural habitat (my workplace) with a nasty little crack in its handle.
Really reminded me of someone..
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..So of course I had to give him a fabulous makeover ^u^
See the full post
199 notes - Posted April 26, 2022
#2
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Kinda drew this to accompany the fic I’m writing, though it’s not exactly meant to be of any particular scene or anything, more like a cover or something just without the title.
Alternate versions with just Mug/Cup below the cut
———
Casino Cups AU - @/askcupsandcasinos
See the full post
296 notes - Posted August 29, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
“There’s nothing you can take from me..”
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“..that I care about.”
———
The art from my ramblings.
300 notes - Posted July 2, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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squarefriend · 3 years
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I felt like doing some colour pencil stuff, but couldn’t think of what to draw. So have a scene from @a-conveniently-shaped-lamp ‘s fic Like a Box of Choclates cause this shit makes me soft
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me: I’m gonna read fanfiction n space out because i dont have anything to do today n i’m getting bored w/ reality :)
me, five second later: how the fuck did i get on tumblr again
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fandomfriend · 3 years
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“The heck!?” along with assorted midnight thoughts.
I have 2 whole followers now? A day after creating my account? I expected the first one, as they are a person I know IRL, but uh, hi to the other person who apparently enjoyed my first post!
In other news, Physics class sucks! I just spent approximately 8 hours doing only 20 math problems. Why must I suffer.
At least I can be cheered up by the fact that several ao3 fics I enjoy updated today! I was especially pleased that a homestuck story, called “the run and go” by deserts updated, after nearly a year of radio silence. Also, “There’s still magic” by RosesCry, which is a fairly good undertale one.
I really freaking love undertale and homestuck. I, unfortunately arrived really late to both fandoms. I found undertale in 2016 or 2017, but only played the game in late 2019. I found homestuck in around the same time. 
Can I say, if you don’t focus on the weird toxic parts that every fandom seems to have (exept the sanders sides fanbase, they’re wholesome), the undertale and HS comunnities are actually super unique and inspiring! 
Undertale fans loved the game so much that they remade the story again and again, coming up with unique alternate universes that became so popular within the fanbase that the nicknames given to au characters are easily recognizable. 
Homestuck is cool just for how widespread and simultaneously mainstream yet niche it is. By that I mean, I have seen people joke about how there are no homestucks in their town (myself included), yet when I wore my black hoodie with a teal libra symbol embroidered on it, a teenaged looking girl actually came up and asked if it was a reference!  Heck, my love of HS is actually part of what inspired my username. To be exact, I modelled it after pesterchum handles. 
As for why it’s “fandomfriend” in particular, I just, really love talking about the sheer power of how a book, movie, show, comic, or game can bring strangers together. I adore meta commentary, and I’m pretty sure I would squeal with joy if someone wanted to discuss fanfiction tropes (I have even made a podcast episode on fandom psychology for a school project). It doesn’t particularly matter which fandom, as I think they are all pretty great, hence the nonspecific name and pfp, see?
I should probably cut it there, both for the sake of my sleeping schedule, and for whatever poor sap tries to read my sleep deprived rambling. XD
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jekkiefan · 4 years
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Orbiting the Sun
Here’s another Grillster fic for the @aeris-blue Grillstertember prompt “Slumber party” and the @sunday-romance prompt “You’re driving me crazy.” And again I do some rambling at the end.
Fandom: Undertale
Words: 554
Summary: In which Gaster tries to see if Grillby remembers him.
Ao3 link
He missed the sunlight.
A determined human has freed all of those trapped under Mt. Ebott. As well as release the old, royal scientist from the darkest void. He’d forgotten the sun’s comforting warmth. Just like how everyone forgot him.
Gaster sat on his bar stool as he watched Grillby work. The skeleton had been doing this since morning, when Grillby gave him his coffee. Gaster didn’t even order. And yet there was a warm cup filled with the aromatic beverage.
It was made just the way Gaster likes it.
But when Gaster asked if Grillby knew his name, Grillby gave him a confused, “No...”
Now Gaster was observing the bartender. Looking for any more hints. Looking for something… anything. Any indication that somewhere, deep in his soul, Grillby still remembered him. Something that said Grillby still loved him. Something to say the coffee wasn’t an accident.
It was night, and Grillby was mixing a drink for a couple customers. His hands moved expertly fast and careful. Never once spilling a single drop. The couple gasped in awe at the little show, and tipped him after he poured their drinks. Gaster forgot how many drinks he had. His head was starting to getting foggy. But he couldn’t bear to leave just yet. Gaster waved Grillby over, and asked for another drink. He watched the elemental’s face. Waiting.
“… Coming up.” And Grillby went to work on the drink.
Gaster sighed, letting his skull hang down. He gazed at his hands. Phalanges connected to the metacarpals, and held together by magic. Through the holes in the bones of his palms, he saw the shining circles of condensation on the table. Gaster tried to rub the stiff ache out of the empty space in his hands. Must be raining somewhere.
A glass slid towards him.
Gaster looked up.
Grillby’s was standing there. And his light was warm. He could sink into it forever. Gaster knows he could. All the forgotten nights that he spent wrapped up in those arms was a testament to that.
The elemental’s light flickered questioningly. He looked like he was searching for something. “… Were you… from Snowdin?”
Gaster’s soul leapt. “Yes,” he signed, “I lived there for a time.” Then he quickly added. “Have you seen me before?”
Grillby smirked. “You keep asking that… I haven’t seen you… before today…”
Gaster fell from his euphoric high. He nodded.
Grillby flung a towel over his shoulder, and walked away.
Gaster watched him leave behind the bar to bust tables. You’re driving me crazy, Gaster thought as he downed his glass. I wish I knew for sure. The rest of the night faded into a haze.
He missed the sunlight.
It surrounded Gaster like a comforting embrace. He never wanted it to end. This was his light in his own darkness. Through the haze Gaster felt himself being laid down. The light drifted away. He wanted to get closer. But he was forced to orbit with this distance between them.
As Gaster nodded off, he noticed the foreign pattern in the blanket. Warm, was his single thought as he fell asleep.
Grillby watched the sleeping stranger on his couch. He had too many questions. Mostly he wondered why he brought this drunk skeleton up into his apartment.
And why he seemed so familiar.
-
Once again I have the haunting feeling that this fic has been done before??? Well, I’ll try not to worry about it too much. The fic is done! And before midnight! Gosh, I love these two dudes. I need to write more of them in the future.
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theonlygamergost · 4 years
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After all of this support and kindness, I decided that my blog will remain mostly about mcyt
Instead, my Ao3 is where I will post fanfictions of other fandoms, but, I will post the Ao3 link here on Tumblr, so anyone who wants to read my works regardless of what fandom it is, (a sentence I never thought I would say tbh) will still be notified, and who follows my blog for the block game can still enjoy the clips and fanfictions :))))
Read the following stuff if interested in Gost rambling, warning, it's hella long:
It's currently almost one am and I just stopped myself from writing more.
At ten pm (after some of you already showed your support for whatever was going to be my decision), I just placed my PC in my lap and started writing, and it honestly never felt so good.
It was just me, my favourite undertale soundtrack and my PC, I don't know how much I wrote, nor do I care, but it just felt good to sit down and let my imagination say whatever it wanted.
I don't know if I have already said this, but I think just how I write, let me explain a bit better:
I think about scenarios, prompts and possible universes all the time, ( the side-effect of being a lonely child surrounded by adults, not complaining btw) so most of the time, I think just like I write my fanfictions, you don't know how many times the Fd!au fics I made were just things I was casually thinking about while having breakfast or walking with my family. I literally take what I think and write it down without changing a single word (not always, but most of the times).
Meaning that it is extremely easy for me to sit down and write, but it does come to the point (like today) where I need to sit down and write my thoughts out to unwind and relax, if for some people writing can be difficult or a pain to do, for me it is the most normal and relaxing thing ever, I just love it.
So you can understand how when I see a comment or a positive feedback (be it a like or a reblog), to me, it just means that what I think on a daily basis is something that I can share and people will like it too! Witch is a fancier way of saying it just gets my normally low self-esteem going, and it so makes me want to post more since someone out there is willing to read what I wrote, what I thought, pretty much what I am.
Sorry if this was suuuuper long, but I had to get it out of my system :))) if you read through it all, thank you, also get a bunch of hearts bc you deserve then💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
Ok, it's officially one am, goodnight/day
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sansy-fresh · 5 years
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halp
It’s time for the Semi-Annual “Fresh is Never Leaving This Fandom!” fic idea tour! In which under the cut I’m going to talk about fics I’m currently working on and how much longer I expect them to be, as well as long fics I have ideas for and how lengthy I expect them to be in the long run. There’s gonna be probably spoilers so look away if you don’t wanna see them! Also this is really long so be prepared for that.
I’m also going to be discussing some of the mini series that people have funded recently, so there’s that lol
Anyways, ranting and rambling under the cut!! This is more or less a way to keep excited about some of my ideas and get some of you hyped as well ^^ (And also a way to assure anyone wondering “hey, fresh has been here for a while, are they ever leaving?” that the answer is no, apparently not)
Current Fics
Okay so I have around 5 long fics, 1 series, and 1 mini series I’m currently working on. They are as follows:
A Silver Chain: A fic about vampire Honey and polyruses with the other Paps being hunters. Is well on its way but needs re-done in a few places so its currently on hiatus.
Little Fangs: A fic about Dadby and older bro Papyrus with babybones and Badster. Is not even close to halfway done, depending on how far I end up going with the narrative. Might end up being one of the longest fics I write.
Moral Compass: A fic about assumed bad brothers and possible Blackcherry goodness. Is basically 3/4ths done at this point, isn’t meant to be a super long one. Was pretty much completely funded by @1readervb so shout out to them for being a super cool peep.
Hold Myself Together: A fic about Bad Bro Red and how Fell gets a better life. Just started, but based on how long the first iteration of this story was, I’d say this one will be a little longer than C&S ended up being. 
Garish: A fic about a Reader who ends up with the Swell bros as roommates. Might end up being both Reader/Swell bros and Reader/Fell bros, but I haven’t decided. Just started, might be a long one.
Bitter White Memory: A series about how Fell and Stretch get together based on an attempt to keep the Edgelord feeling safe. Only has two parts so far so nowhere near done. I’ve just been too busy to write the next part lol whoopsies
Cherries in Snow: A funded mini series about abused Red falling into Undertale, with Kustard and a little tiny helping of Cherryblossom. One chapter so far, but there should only be about five so it won’t take super long.
There’s also two more mini series that have been funded, but one I only have part of the info on and the other I have no info on, so they haven’t been started yet. (One of them is about Omega Paps in a A/B/O world so that’ll be fun ;;;))
Fics I want to Continue/Rewrite
This is a list I didn’t know I was adding until I was in the middle of making this post. There are a few fics I’ve started and then pretty much abandoned, or that I left behind because I no longer wanted to write them. They are:
The Reset Conundrum: A fic that I wrote a long time ago and never finished about Papyrus and Sans going through the Resets and various endings together, with a happy ending of course. It was a popular one, but I never finished it because I got bored with the idea. I was thinking about it recently and kind of wanted to revisit the idea. Its on this list because I might just do it.
The Ole Razzle Dazzle: A fic I started and then revamped as a fic about Razz and Slim and how they react to a pacifist Chara moving through the Underground. Kinda looking forward to this one, not going to lie.
Sparks and Wires: A fic that I started because of my love for the game D:BH and its androids. About Android Honey and his owner Fell, and how they fall in love. Basically self indulgent Spicyhoney lol
Long Fic Ideas
So just about once every other week I get a new fic idea, and if I like them enough (and can actually imagine myself writing them) I write them down in a doc. Now I’m going to talk about them all in as much detail as I have so ya’ll get comfy this is gonna be a long’n. (These are not up for adoption they are things I plan to write myself.)
The Great: A fic idea @badgertablet came up with and I helped round out. Ambassador Paps with a side of Polyruses and lots of angsty pining and hurt/comfort. Is going to be a longer fic, since there’s a lot of background stuff and quite a bit to set up. I’m really really looking forward to this one though, is going to be a gift for Badg (but shoosh no one tell them).
Family Portrait: A fic idea for Middle Bro Gaster with Paps and Sans. Basically going from Sans’ birth to Gaster falling into the Core to the kid saving everyone and Sans pulling Gaster back out of the Void. Is going to be super long, so probably won’t get to this one for a while lol
Scattered Pieces: A fic idea for a character getting bitties that helps their life out. Lots of angst and hurt/comfort, as each bitty has its own backstory of woe. One I’ve had planned for a while but haven’t been able to sit down a write.
A Concerted Effort: A fic idea where Fell and Stretch have a one night stand and Fell ends up pregnant. The two of them don’t get along super well most of the time so its not like he can tell him, right?? Another old idea I just haven’t started yet lol.
Itty Bitty Teenie Weenie: A fic idea where a different character gets some specialty bitties, ones that need a bit more help than others. In the same universe as Scattered Pieces, probably going to be written after that one.
Segregation: A fic idea that @nurse-gaster came up with that I adopted. Bledgeup in a world where Fell monsters and Tale monsters live on different sides of the fence, a literal fence in this case. Going to be a gift for Nurse when I start writing it lol.
Recovery: A fic idea where a personal character of mine fosters special needs bitties and ends up with one for himself. Is part of a two fic series. 
Caramelized Apples: A fic idea where my Caramel version of Slim ends up pregnant. I haven’t decided how yet, but its hurt/comfort and fluff, so no hard angst here!
Edgy but Smiling: A fic idea where an anxious Reader ends up with a Sansy and an Edgy who just want a good home. 
You Got Me All Fired Up: A fic idea with Sans/Dante (my UF Grillby). I don’t know I just really like Sans and Fellby together and I want to write a slowburn.
Harried and Torn: A fic idea about Spicykustardpuff with lots of angst and hurt/comfort and maybe some fluff along the way. A slowburn because I’m a masochist.
Nice To Eat’cha: A fic idea based on the Asian side of the fandom’s art of Farmer Sans/HT Sans. Won’t be farmer Sans, but it will be a slowburn of Sans and Butch learning how to not judge each other for their own sins.
Seen in Glorious Splendor: A fic idea I had earlier today actually. King Fell, with possible Edgepuff or Polyruses, I haven’t decided yet. My own take on how Fell takes over as King of the Underground from Asgore.
There are a lot of iterations of Skelebros/Reader I want to write, so I’m just throwing a blanket over them called “Eventually”. Them being namely Swap Bros/Reader, Tale Bros/Reader, a reverse harem in my style, HT Bros/Reader, and something just Papyrus/Reader (which Papyrus you ask? all.)
And my Magnum Opus, Safe House, will be the last fic I write for this fandom. So when I start posting that, you’ll know we’re nearing the end.
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Undertale Fairy Tales Project Day 6: The Little Mermaid ft. UF Sans and Mermaid Reader
I wasn’t sure if I was going to get this written today. I didn’t hit the word count goal (although i’m kind of giving up on that at this point...) but I went over 1000 including the notes. We’ll call it good enough. I actually really like what I wrote. If I continued, this could easily be a good first chapter of a longer fic. I think that’s what I’m going to aim for from now on, rather than a specific word count goal. Anyways, I’ve rambled enough. I’ll add a cut at some point. Enjoy!
(Oh, and today’s idea was from @helpmeimawkwardbutfun. Thanks!)
Your father had a rule. He’d made it because your sister Pearl had tried to bring home one too many wild seahorses, only to abandon their care within a week. The rule was this: “If thou dost catch it, then thou must keep it.” It meant that if you brought home something, then you had to keep it and take care of it, or Father would Take Care Of It. That supposedly would involve his trident, although none of you had been foolish enough to find out. Pearl still had a stable full of seahorses, but at least now she was feeding them and riding them and not just letting them sit there until they swam off. You had been careful never to bring home anything that needed the rule applied to it. Old junk from shipwrecks didn't technically count, since it wasn't alive.
That was what you told yourself, in any case, as you swam off to explore another old wreck. Most of the things you brought back were useful. You kept only the most interesting pieces, and your collection was well-organized and well-hidden. Well, okay, well-hidden. Well, okay, it was under your bed. Father hadn't found it, was the point. You had room for a few more things.
A school of fish swam by you, squeaking. “A storm, a storm!”
You looked up. The water above you was dark. As you watched, something came plummeting down from the surface. You swam toward it curiously. It was…a human? No. Not a human. Rather human shaped, but there was no flesh. It was all bone. A skeleton. You usually didn't bother with the bones that ended up in the wrecks, but this one…Its eye sockets were lit with an inner spark. As you watched, the skeleton looked right at you and opened its jaw to scream. The sound was silenced by the water.
Without a second thought, you swam forward and caught the skeleton under the arms. As it struggled in your grip and continued to scream, you held on tightly and swam upward. The skeleton eventually seemed to realize that you were trying to help and stopped struggling. It kicked its legs, helping you speed toward the surface. Eventually you burst out of the water and into the air above. The skeleton gasped and clutched at you as you swam as best you could toward the shore you only vaguely knew existed.
The storm was in full force up here and the waves nearly tore the skeleton out of your arms a few times, but you persevered. You found your way to a beach and managed to drag him up onto the sand, out of reach of the crashing waves. For one moonlit moment, he looked into your eyes and tried to say something, and then his sockets went dark and he went limp. You wanted to stay, to make sure he wouldn't be washed back into the ocean, but your body burned with the need for oxygen over your gills and you had to force yourself back into the sea. You looked back at him from a distance, a small lump on the beach.
“I’ll come check on you tomorrow,” you promised, knowing that he couldn't hear you, that he might not even be here tomorrow. Your father’s words rang in your head as you reluctantly swam for home. If thou dost catch it, then thou must keep it. You weren't entirely sure how to care for a living skeleton, but it seemed you’d need to figure that out. You'd just adopted one.
His skull was going to split open. He should have been dust. He almost wanted to be dust. It might have been preferable to lying here, weak as a kitten, feeling like he’d drunk the entire damn ocean. The voices that were getting louder by the second weren't helping.
“Sans, oh my god! What the hell did you do now?”
With an effort, he rolled over to face his brother. “Hey, Pap,” he managed. “I'm all right.”
“You're not all right,” Papyrus snapped, scooping him up like a baby bones. “You were missing all night and now I find you here, sleeping on a beach of all places. For god’s sake, brother, you have a bed! A very nice bed, in a castle. Why would you sleep on the beach instead?”
Sans wrapped his arms around his brother’s neck. “I’m thinking of changing my name to Sand, and I wanted to see if I liked it,” he said.
“If you weren't at a sliver of your already low HP, I would drop you right now,” Papyrus groaned. “What really happened? You disappeared from the ball last night and I couldn't find you anywhere.”
“I…don't remember,” Sans muttered. “I left the ball and then…’sall a blur. I ended up in the water somehow, and I was sinking, and then…” He stiffened. “Pap, I swear a mermaid rescued me!”
“A mermaid?”
“Yeah. Half human, half fish, big powerful scaly tail…I mighta dreamed it, but it felt so real…”
“It was probably Undyne,” Papyrus said. “Though I don't see why she wouldn't take you all the way home if she rescued you. It doesn't really matter, though.” He shifted Sans’s weight slightly. “I'm taking you home and locking you in a room so you never scare me like that again.”
“Love you, bro,” Sans murmured, a wave of weariness washing over him.
Papyrus looked around to make sure no one else else was looking and then quietly said, “I love you too, brother. We owe a debt to whoever saved you. When your HP is restored, we’ll need to find out who.”
Sans slept in his brother’s arms.
Notes: That is where I am going to end this for now. I have two good scenes, we’ve established the main characters, and I even got some rare Underfell fluff in there. From here, the story would continue with Reader trying to find Sans again and Sans trying to find them. A debt gradually grows into a friendship, which grows into love. There’s probably some mystery about who threw Sans into the sea in the first place. (He’s not a dummy. He knows bone sinks. He wouldn't try to go swimming or anything, even if he’d been drunk from the ball he and Paps were at. I imagine they're in a different country, acting as ambassadors or something, so the attempted assassination was a political thing.) I don't know if Reader would go the Ariel route and try to get legs through shady, voice-stealing magic or if the story would go another way. I like this one, though. I hope you liked it too. Feel free to share your thoughts. I'm going to bed!
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pumpkins-s · 7 years
Text
Not As Simple As A Happy Ending
Read on AO3 Here
Read the Other Chapters On Tumblr Here
It’s just a ribbon.
Just a plain red ribbon, absolutely nothing special about it.
At least, that’s what Sans tries to tell himself as Frisk stares up at him, their expectant look slowly morphing into confusion while he sits there frozen.
In which Frisk isn’t the first human Sans meets, nor the first he befriends, nor the first he kills.
And being Sans in general is complicated.
Fandom: Undertale
Characters: Sans, Papyrus, Alphys, Undyne, Frisk, Toriel, Asgore, W.D. Gaster, Grillby, Flowey, Chara, Blue Soul Human, Light Blue Soul Human, Yellow Soul Human, miscellaneous
Warnings: Canonical character death, non-graphic violence, bucketloads of angst (y’know the drill)
Other Things Worth Noting: Non-linear Narrative (though primarily set pre-canon), canon compliant, assumes post-pacifist run following an almost-genocide run for post-canon settings, Sans-centric with other characters being viewed through his eyes
Chapter 18: Conjecture
((Author’s Note:
Heyyyyy. Long time, no update!
(I'm back.)
Apologies for the interim between updates, it's been a weird few months for me, and I really needed a break from this fic to clear my head by working on other things and to deal with some personal issues. Given that, and the fact that this chapter (and the one following it) are possibly two of the most important chapters in Act 2, and I really wanted to do it right, finishing the update took a while.
Before we begin, some extra content and fanart to present!
First up on fanart: Adorable character cards Celestialfeathers surprised me with at Emerald City Comicon this year! You can check them out here!
Next, two gorgeous sketch sets of Wind, Rose, Sans, and Integrity by katthesmall, which you can see here and here!
We also have, by lieu of me googling Not As Simple on a dare, some pieces of fanart featuring Integrity I discovered by saphira123 (If the artist is reading this, I don't have accounts on any of your preferred media to thank you directly, but just know I found them and I love them!!). You can check out their gorgeous art of Integrity here, here, and here!!
In terms of bonus content for you guys, more exciting stuff!
First, to accompany the last chapter, Wind now has her own playlist here!
Second, and possibly most excitingly, Not As Simple now has its own song!! My little sister commissioned one of my favorite independent musicians for me as a Christmas present, so I am overjoyed to present to you guys Lost Time, the official song for Not As Simple, which you can find here!! (The musician in question is amazing and I would absolutely suggest checking out the rest of her stuff!)
That's it! Now, I'm happy to present to y'all chapter 18! ))
“I’m… pretty sure that’s wrong.”
Gaster frowns, turning and squinting at the whiteboard. “…No?”
“Nah, he’s right.” Wind says from the table next to Sans where she’s perched, legs crossed and thick book open in her lap. “Top row, G. You didn’t carry the four.”
Gaster hums, tilting his head and staring up at the section in question. “….Bollocks. You’re correct. I can’t believe I missed that.”
Wind snorts loudly, turning a page in her book, and Sans rolls his eyes, going back to entering the data on his notepad into the computer in front of him.
Sans is fifteen, and some days it feels like they’re no closer to breaking into the rules of the barrier than they were when he first came to the labs.
…Ok, no, that’s wrong. It’s not a case of what he feels, though that certainly plays an inevitable factor.
No, it’s more like they logistically, honestly have little more of an idea of what the fuck they’re looking at than they did three years ago. Never mind the fact Gaster had already been working on this puzzle for at least another two decades and then some before Sans was even a factor.
It’s exhausting, and frustrating, and Sans knew the mystery of the space-time bubble that is the Underground wouldn’t be solved in a day, but sometimes it feels like he’s losing his goddamn mind.
Then again, he notes idly, as his eyes flicker to the two other people in the room, it’s not like this was a job built for the sane and healthy. To learn the truth, to even get close to it, you had to be willing to become damaged goods— And that’s just what they are, him and Wind and Gaster, the byproducts of witnessing the unfathomable and walking out the other side.
Smugly, Wind points out another error in Gaster’s math, laughing loudly at his outraged spluttering, and Sans can’t help but stare quietly, drinking in the bright sound of Wind’s laughter, her rustling wings as her shoulders shake with mirth. Across from her Gaster is loudly animated, coat twirling as he turns and chucks a marker at her, shouting indignantly.
They are so alive. Sometimes Sans has trouble understanding how he got lucky enough to be graced with this.
Wind had become something of a staple in many of his and Gaster’s research sessions ever since their little heart-to-heart during the first annual inspection he was present for, slipping into the mix of languages Gaster meshes together on accident during his ramblings and partaking in the easy, insulting banter, with a grace that alludes to her experience with it. It speaks to just how long she’s been around Gaster, Sans thinks, and of how much time she’s had to learn his patterns. Perhaps it had always been like that, before Sans had arrived. He hates to think he accidentally made Wind feel she could no longer be Gaster’s first support, that whatever had come of sharing her memories led Wind to feel she had a permission, one that she never needed in the first place, to be around them, but at least… things are alright now.
Honestly, Sans had never realized the true depth of Wind’s intelligence until she had quietly intruded upon his and Gaster’s work sessions, offering corrections and assistance. She may not be a scientist, but there’s a clear kind of innate brilliance and quickness to Wind that makes sense for someone Gaster would take an interest in.
Regardless, her presence definitely helps, and there’s a kind of openness in what she’s seen, what she’s chosen to stand for, that makes it easy to share with Wind the research into the barrier, into human souls, that they cannot with the others. She has thrown her lot in with humanity as much as himself or Gaster, and there’s an innate kind of trust that comes with that.
The only research Gaster pointedly does away from all eyes but his own and Sans’s is of that into the timelines. Even Wind is kept well away from every piece of it, and while Sans was never shared Wind’s memories of her time with Gaster as his assistant, she does not, as far as he can tell, know of this one little secret. For all that she may know of the barrier, of the deaths of the humans and of the blind loyalty of the guard, this piece of the puzzle is one Gaster has kept hidden.
It’s protection, Sans thinks. There’s a kind of closeness between the two of them, one that makes sense with the knowledge Gaster has known Wind since she was a teenager, and for every moment Gaster seems parental-feeling towards Sans and Papyrus, there is something of a matching moment there for Wind too. Gaster may not ever admit to it, defensive bastard that he is, but it’s plenty obvious he desires to care for the people around him. And for Wind, who has already seen so much of this nightmare, this is the only shielding he can offer her.
Sans doesn’t know if it’s right, to keep the truth from Wind like that, or from any of them really, but he does understand it. He has done, and continues to do, the same for Papyrus, for Grillby. He cares about them too much to ever tell them, as hypocritical as that sounds.
No, the secret of the timelines was one Sans shared only with the human, and now, he supposes, with Gaster.
Sometimes it feels like a bit of a sick trade off— Sans lost a sister and gained… What? A parent? A father?
That word brings hesitation, whenever it crosses Sans’s mind, much like when Rose’s touches to his cheek feel too maternal. He’s… scared. To risk that label, with all the consequences and costs it could bring.
A guardian, then… A guardian in Gaster, and in Rose, in a way. Someone to trust, in Wind, people to call something like family, in Gamma and Ficus, and a friend, in Alphys.
He has all this, and it is invaluable, and yet what he wants most is something he cannot have back. How selfish.
Still, while he cannot change the past, at least so far as he knows, Sans is painfully aware of the variability of the future. If they want to protect the next human who will inevitably fall down here, they must beat the clock, and crack the barrier first. It’s the only option.
…If only it wasn’t so fucking complicated.
Alphys’s familiar stutter paired with an aggressively loud voice greet Sans when he enters the main lab, leaving Sans gritting his teeth against the assault on his hearing, only adding to the headache that’s already been lingering the last few hours from watching Gaster work through walls of data without any success. Sans is well aware not every day is going to produce some sort of breakthrough, even a minor one, and most days don’t, but today has been… particularly frustrating.
And now this of all things.
A startled squeak followed by a nervous-sounding “Sans!” alerts Sans to the fact that Alphys has noticed his arrival, and, reluctantly, Sans stops in his tracks, turning to face her and her guest.
“Oh, it’s you.” Says a second, rougher voice, its occupant hovering just behind Alphys, arms thrown over her shoulders.
Sans sighs. “Hello to you too, Undyne.”
She grins, sharp and wide. “Fuckface.”
“Fishbitch.”
“Please.” Alphys says despairingly, reaching up to pinch the bridge of her nose in a sign of exasperation she no doubt picked up from Rose. Undyne whines in complaint, dropping her head against Alphys’s shoulder, causing Alphys to flush pink, and Sans shrugs lazily, earning himself a glare from Alphys.
“She started it.” Sans says easily, ignoring Undyne’s outraged squawk of protest. Alphys rolls her eyes, and he snorts. “I’m just getting something from Wind’s study, anyways. Just go back to… whatever you two were doing. Or… whatever you were doing that Undyne was creepily watching you do?”
Alphys twitches in annoyance, an embarrassed blush scrawling further up her cheeks, and Undyne pops her head back up to point angrily at him. “I’m not creepy!”
“Nah, just annoying.” He answers, walking past them and shutting the door to Wind’s office firmly behind him. Leaning against it, Sans lets out a small sigh of relief, dropping his head and staring at the floor without any real purpose or recognition. Running into Undyne is always a bit jarring, her presence loud and demanding no matter how somewhat used to it he may get. Which is exactly why Alphys is supposed to give him some kind of warning before bringing her over, Sans thinks with a kind of half-hearted annoyance.
Honestly, it’s amazing things between them have even progressed enough that Sans is able to tolerate Undyne’s presence, and Undyne the same for him, even if she still seems to take a kind of vicious pleasure in insulting him (Not that he, admittedly, doesn’t do the same). He blames Wind, really. After seeing her memories he couldn’t help but look at Undyne’s position through new eyes. He still isn’t really clear on the details, but Undyne does seem to spend basically every day hovering around Asgore, and while Sans is pretty sure she isn’t living with him like Wind had been (particularly given Alphys had off-handedly complained about Undyne’s group home once or twice), Asgore does seem to be all she has.
And… Sans can’t fault her for that. Not when he knows what it feels like to be alone and desperate for anyone to place your faith in, and not after Wind. Undyne isn’t to blame for what Asgore and their world taught her— Asgore makes victims, both intentional and unintentional, out of everyone he touches, that’s just the way it is. The Underground is poisoned with his hate, and as it stands, most monsters are just too blinded by faith or too stupid, whichever or both, Sans doesn’t know, to question what has been done.
To turn, monsterkind will have to see the truth, and that’s what Sans and Gaster and everyone else in the labs are here for, after all.
Besides, it also doesn’t hurt that Undyne has calmed down some over the last couple years. Not much, but she’s at least stopped trying to fight Sans at every given opportunity, has learned not to shit-talk humans in his presence. And in turn, Sans has learned to bite his tongue when she slips up and praises the Guard and the future death of humanity.
It’s all… a work in progress, at the end of the day. But they’ve reached this, at least. A place where they can easily insult each other and shove each other around cheerfully and, most importantly, stand in the same room without trying to kill each other.
It’s almost ironic really, Sans thinks. The two of them have achieved this kind of mutual truce, and yet they stand in such opposing positions. Undyne hadn’t joined the regular guard when she turned fifteen, or even when she turned sixteen or seventeen, like Sans had thought she would, instead she stayed at Asgore’s side, training directly under him. There were whispers around the castle, Alphys told him, that Asgore would step in and immediately promote her to Captain once the current head of the guard retired.
And then there was Sans. Sans, who trained under Wind and learned under Gaster, who had a soul that lived not just for the future of monsterkind but for humankind as well. He is the product of Asgore’s greatest mistakes, his greatest betrayals to people that once loved him, and he has every intention of being the thing that takes Asgore down, one day.
In essence, Sans is the epitome of everything Undyne is not, and yet, he thinks, they’re not completely different in their positions. They just placed their faith in different people.
…Of course, Sans likes to think his own choices in what company he keeps are markedly much improved over Undyne’s. She is just a pawn in Asgore’s Underground, and Sans… he is no one’s to use. Not even Gaster’s.
Sighing, Sans straightens up, getting off his resting place against the door and taking the few steps he needs to drop heavily into Wind’s desk chair, sparing a small grin when it spins a couple loops as his weight hits it. Never let it be said Wind didn’t make excellent interior design choices. Her swivel chair was one of the best things in the labs upwards of the ridiculous shit that could be found on Gaster’s floor.
Speaking of… bending down, he trails his finger-bones down the drawers on the left side of the desk, pulling open the third one. There was an old storage drive Wind had somewhere here with some old work she’d done on studying shield magic like her own and comparing it to the barrier that she thought might help. Spotting the item in question, Sans grins and grabs it, sitting up and allowing himself a victory spin on the chair. Glancing at the door, leading back to where the others wait for him, Sans takes a deep breath and stands up.
He cannot become bogged down in introspection and frustration. He needs to do this, there is no one else but himself and those waiting for him in front of Gaster’s whiteboard who can.
He must do this.
Sometimes, Sans can’t shake the feeling of being watched.
Admittedly, he’s always been a bit like that, and his time in the loops with the human had only made him more paranoid, fearing an enemy at every turn, but this is… different.
It feels more like an observer, than an impending threat, something unobtrusive and invisible, but undeniably there. It’s an odd sensation, to feel as if there are eyes on him but find nothing, and too often he chalks it up to his worries getting the better of him.
Occasionally, at night, he dreams of a presence, one that sits across from him in the hollows of his consciousness, hidden by shadow. It’s hard to put a name to it, really. It reminds him instinctively of the human, the same kind of curling, inexplicable power in its form. But… More than anything, when he reaches out and pokes at its consciousness intruding upon places it should not be able to, it feels most like himself— Not a perfect match, but close. Like looking in a distorted mirror. In a way, that makes sense. Sans, in his glitching, sparking magic, can jump through the spaces between reality without hesitation, and this… thing, in its own way, is doing something much similar.
It doesn’t belong to the physical Underground Sans lives in, and yet it walks in and out of it, hovering on the very edge anyways.
Its visits are infrequent, and sporadic. Sometimes, it feels as if something is following him for days on end, and on other occasions he’ll go months with only the barest flicker of its presence once or twice in that whole time for only seconds.
When it happens, he is reminded of the creature that once wandered into his nightmare, years ago, abolishing the shadow-form of his sister with ease, and of the ghost Wind had joked about after she’d shown him her memories.
Most of the time, Sans thinks he’s being obsessive over something that is not there, so set on finding another enemy he must keep his guard up around that he’s gone and invented one. Or… perhaps so desperate for another ally he’s done the same thing. It’s hard to tell which.
Occasionally, though, he feels as if there is another player in the chess game he and Gaster only fleetingly understand the rules to. Something else moving pieces as himself and the others hurriedly do their best to find a way to checkmate Asgore.
He… doesn’t know what to do with that potential concept, beyond hope that whatever it is, if it actually exists, is on their side.
God, he hopes it’s on their side.
Sans hits the ground with a yelp of pain, shoulder colliding painfully against the stone floor before he rolls over it and up, tensed in a crouch and magic crackling readily at his fingertips as he braces them on the ground and glares up. Across him, Wind straightens up, sighing and stretching an arm over her head languidly. “You’re way too slow. That wasn’t even a glancing blow, I hit you dead-on.”
Sans huffs, curling his spine up and resting his forearms on his thighs, still crouching. “If you just taught me shielding magic— “
“My shielding magic is a kind unique to my species, and one that takes years to master.” At Sans’s scowl, Wind’s expression softens. “I’m not saying it’s impossible, Sans. Your magic reserves are the kind most monsters couldn’t even dream of. I’m just saying it would likely be exceedingly difficult, not to mention strenuous as hell. Shielding takes up enormous energy, it’s not the kind of thing you do frequently in fights unless it’s your specialty or you have no other choice.” She tilts her head. “Look at it this way. Have you ever seen me maintain my shield between blows?” Sans reluctantly shakes his head, and Wind beams. “Right, because it’s the kind of thing I wouldn’t risk draining my energy unless I had no other choice to keep it sustained indefinitely. Shielding magic is incredibly useful, but it’s not reliable as your only form of defense. Hence...” Wind sweeps down, lowering herself until she’s crouching at Sans’s level, leaning forward with her wings spread out behind her for balance, a picture perfect form of a lithe, graceful soldier. “We learn to dodge. Got it?”
“Yeah, yeah.” Sans grumbles, and Wind grins.
“Good. Now, again.”
Wind flies forward, leaping up and at him with purpose, and Sans barely has a second to dive sideways and roll out of the way before Wind’s foot slams into the spot where his head was moments ago. Jumping to his feet, Sans ducks under Wind’s arm as it makes an arc over his skull, and manages two steps to the left before a wing curves in from the right and hits him solidly in the chest, sending him flying through the air. Sans barely has a moment to brace for inevitable impact against the wall and send a quiet thought of apology to Papyrus for dying on him so soon, before a pair of wiry arms catch him and the buffet of wings catching on air fills the sound around him. Carefully raising his head and opening his eyes, Sans stares at Wind’s concerned expression as she gently lowers them both back to earth, setting Sans down slowly once her feet hit the ground.
“That’s six times I’ve gotten you today, Sans.” Wind says patiently, in an annoyingly forgiving way that makes Sans grit his teeth in frustration. “If I was a Royal Guard, that’s six times you’d have been dead.”
“I know, I know.” Sans mutters.
“Do you?” Wind crosses her arms, frowning down at him. “In a real fight, your opponent isn’t going to give you a chance to catch your breath, and you may not have anyone to watch your back for you.”
“I know!” He snaps. “It’s not like I’ve never fought for my life before or anything!”
Wind winces, and Sans sighs, ducking his head. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to—“
“No, you’re right.” Wind says. “I should be the one apologizing. I was… pushing you too hard. If you don’t want to do this I— “
“No!” He yelps, head snapping up to stare wide-eyed at Wind. “I need this. I need to be ready. Don’t start babying me because of one rough day. I asked for your help and I’m going to keep asking until I’ve learned everything I can.” Taking a deep breath, he takes a step back, assuming a defensive position. “Again.”
Wind hesitates, and then lunges forward. Sans ducks under her leg as she aims a flying kick at him, diving behind her and jumping up onto the wing that sweeps out at him, using it as a platform to propel himself up and over Wind’s head. He hits the ground rolling, jumping up and breaking into a sprint as Wind takes off after him. He’ll lead her around the room, he thinks, tire her out— Survival is the name of the game with this exercise, the idea being to evade Wind’s attacks for a full five minutes. He grins at the sounds of Wind behind him, confident for once that he’s got the upper hand, and then there’s the flapping of wings and a tall figure slams into the ground in front of him.
—Guards everywhere, cornering them in the tight caves of Waterfall’s hidden crevices. He dodges right to avoid a barrage of flying arrows, the human right behind him, hand in his, he searches the perimeter desperately, looking for a way out, frantically moving until— There! On the left, a gap between the soldiers stands out, leading to the entrance of another cavern. He dives forward, dragging the human behind him, sights set on the route of escape. They’re going to make it, they’re so close, and then a guard slams into view from seemingly out of nowhere, wielding their spear as they thrust it forward and straight into Sans’s soul, shattering his conscious instantly. He hears the human scream, but everything is going black, and he can’t move—
Sans comes back to himself stretched out on the floor of the training room, head pillowed in Wind’s lap and limbs spread out haphazardly. He flinches as cool fingers prod the edges of his skull clinically, checking for injuries, probably, and slowly Wind’s worried face swims into view above him.
“…Sans? You back with me, buddy?”
He winces, sitting up carefully, Wind’s hands going to his back to steady him. “Yeah, more or less.”
“Where did you go?” Wind asks, voice knowing and soft as she runs a gentle hand down his spine, patience and understanding in her whole being.
He shrugs helplessly. “Back.”
Wind purses her lips, choosing not to press him. “I think that’s enough for today.” Sans opens his mouth to protest, and she shakes her head. “You’ve been out of it all morning, and it’s never a good sign when you start having flashbacks. Trust me, I’d know.”
“I suppose not.” Sans mutters reluctantly, and Wind sighs.
“You’ve been running yourself ragged, kiddo. You’ll burn out if you press too hard. So you’re having a bad day, that’s fine. Take a break for once, yeah? Clear your head.”
Sans snorts. “I’ve tried, believe me, but I feel like every time I leave this room I’m staring at more dead-end equations.”
“Then get out of the labs for a bit.” At Sans’s incredulous look, Wind rolls her eyes. “I know you hate being in Asgore’s potential sights, but the Underground’s a lot bigger than his immediate reach. It’s not healthy to live your life down here fulltime. There’s reasons why Rose always bullies Gaster into doing sample collections for her outside the labs, a little change of scenery is good for him, and, for that matter, for you. Take the day off— Go visit Grillby in Snowdin, go to a market in the Capital, go… Fuck around Hotland, I don’t know! My point is, do something.” Wind pauses, sighing. “Sometimes the way to solve a problem is to come back to it with fresh eyes.”
“Yeah, alright, point taken.” Sans says, ducking his head. “I’ll— I’ll try.”
Somehow, Sans suspects when Wind advised him to take some time to himself, this isn’t what she meant.
Muttering under his breath, Sans curses as he trips over another outcropping of rock, stumbling none too gracefully over the thin stream running through the ground beneath his feet. It’s embarrassing really, just how clumsy he’s gotten. What he once navigated with deadly precision and artistry now leaves him falling over his own feet— This is the first time he’s set foot in the lower pools in… God, months.
He’s been neglecting it, and his place in it, this expanse of caverns that was once his home. Was once their home, his and Papyrus’s, his and the human’s.
It was only a few years ago, when he knew the watery songs of this place down to the marrow of his bones, and the core of his soul. Frequently now it feels like a lifetime ago, sometimes it feels like it all just happened.
Very occasionally, Sans still wakes up and expects to see a cavern ceiling and feel the weight of a hand on his sternum, to find the world has reset itself and turned back time once again.
…Honestly, Sans doesn’t know now whether he would be relieved or horrified if that happened. Maybe both.
He has not accepted her death; he will never accept her death, not for how it happened or what was done to her, and in turn to him. And yet, he doesn’t know if he could ever go back to that time. This is so much bigger than one life, one soul to save, now. He’s seen and learned so much.
This is not just about Sans himself or the human he came to call friend and sister. This is about all of them. Humans, monsters, the souls lost to Asgore and the people of the labs he now calls something like family and the fates of the next to fall. There are individuals to protect, those he loves and those he has not yet met but sworn to guard with his life when he does, and there are whole nations to save, that stand to fall if he doesn’t find a way to stop this war.
Patience, he reminds himself. The barrier wasn’t built in a day, and neither will it be destroyed as such. Nor, he thinks, is it as simple as pulling a switch and shutting off the power to whatever keeps them trapped here. Destroy the barrier without learning how to control it and they will only unleash Asgore’s war between humans and monsters that much sooner. They need that power to bend it to their will, to use the barrier as their bargaining chip against the crown. Right now the cards are stacked in Asgore’s favor, and they desperately need to produce an ace.
“Will you kill him?” Sans remembers overhearing Wind ask Gaster in a hushed discussion one night, when the overhead lights were dimmed and they believed he’d fallen asleep in the plushy chair in the corner with his book.
“Not unless I have to.” Gaster had said. “His words have considerable sway among the people, sway that can be played to our advantage if we can control his message to the public, and regardless I’d rather not stoop to his level.”
“What will you do, then?”
“Get him to step down from power, obviously.” Gaster snorted. “He’s too dangerous to try and control him while he holds power. You and I both know we could never successfully make a puppet king out of him. We’ll have to cut the strings or risk getting strangled in them.”
“…Then what?” Wind had offered eventually, her words quiet. “Who will replace him? Monsters have never had democracy, we have told our needs to the royal family and they provided. Our supposed good nature kept us in peace with one another. They will balk at such a human way of government, and in the wake of the destruction of the barrier it will not be the time to try it out. They will need a leader.”
“Yes. They will.” Gaster agreed.
“So I ask again. Who’s going to lead them, Gaster? You?”
“Me? God no. Never. Never me.”
Wind had frowned, crossing her arms. “That’s not an answer and you know it.”
Sans sighs, sticking his hands in his coat pockets and staring up at the cavern ceiling above him, contemplative. He’d couldn’t help but ask Gaster, after Wind had left and the other had come to pick him up and tuck him into his bed for the night.
“Who will lead?”
“…So you were awake.” Gaster had stilled, hesitating and then picking Sans up anyways. He’d squirmed halfheartedly, wanting to protest he was not a small child and yet enjoying the soothing contact too much to protest it.
“Who will lead?” He asked again, once he was settled in Gaster’s arms, his small stature even for most young monsters easily dwarfed by Gaster’s considerable height.
“…Wind will lead.” Gaster had said finally. “She is strong, and intelligent, and has the heart to hold a whole kingdom. Her status as the last of an elite military family, and of a revered species of monster, will give her the backing she needs to reasonably take control, so long as her old records disappear.”
Sans blinked, and as if sensing the unasked question, Gaster bowed his head slightly. “I will advise her, if I can, but my reputation as the nutcase who protected a human proceeds me. Wind’s hands are cleaner, less involved in this mess.” He sighed. “It is more than possible that Asgore will not relinquish his power easily, and if things go wrong someone must take the fall. I will go down as the one who destroyed Asgore’s throne if I must, and from the dust Wind will rise as their savior.” His gaze fell to Sans’s firm glare. “If that happens, Sans, you must let it. Do not go trying to save me from my own choices.”
“The entire Royal Guard and half of Asgore’s advisors know me as the kid who fought their troops for a human.” Sans said, tinges of something close to wry amusement crawling into his words. “My hands are no cleaner than yours. If you fall, I’ll damn well plan on falling with you.”
“Sans—“
“If you want to protect me then don’t let anything happen to you.” He returned firmly, cutting Gaster off. “Do not ask me to… Do not ask me leave my family again. I won’t. I can’t.”
“…I know.” Gaster said. “I know.”
Wind isn’t aware of Gaster’s potential plans for her, Sans knows, and it leaves him with an uncomfortable taste in his mouth at the thought. She would refuse if she knew, he’s sure, which is likely also exactly the reason Gaster never chose to tell her, and in knowing this much about Wind himself too, Gaster has also bought Sans’s silence, prudence winning over his desire for transparency.
Ironic really, given all the times Sans has pressed Gaster for honesty between them.
Sometimes, Sans looks back on the memories Wind had shown him, of her first meeting with Gaster, and wonders if the other had planned this from the beginning, the very moment he met Wind and saw what she was, what she offered.
It would not surprise him if that were the case, honestly. Gaster acts continuously in the best interests of the future, but that can drive him to be manipulative, to keep his cards close to his chest, even if largely unconsciously. After all, the initial agreement between them that brought Sans to the labs was more a business arrangement than anything else, a peace treaty between temporary allies. The later developed familial affection was an unexpected consequence, or bonus, depending on how one looked at it.
Regardless, those are both matters of the past, and of the long-awaited future. He cannot change Gaster’s actions in the past even if he sought to, which he doesn’t, really, and the potential scenarios where Wind might find herself granted Asgore’s royal power, chosen or not, look to be years away. It’s a non-issue for now, at least until they find a way to break the barrier.
…Which leads him to why Wind had booted him out here to get some metaphorical fresh air in the first place.
The utter frustration at their lack of progress, the frustrating itch in his soul telling him he is missing important clues, puzzle pieces he needs to find the answer.
The presence, Sans thinks, the one that haunts him like a half-imagined daydream, or perhaps a lingering nightmare, would know, does know.
He’s not even fully confident it actually…. well, exists beyond the scope of his paranoid delusions, but if it does, if it is real, then it holds the answers he seeks. He is inexplicably, completely certain of that.
It’s crashing into a sign that smacks him firmly in the face that pulls Sans from his musings.
“Ow, fuck.” He growls, tripping blindly away from the offending obstacle and rubbing at his sore skull. After a moment of cursing and waiting for the pain to dull down, he opens his eyes, spots the sign, and groans, slumping forward.
Of course... Of fucking course.
“Why.” He deadpans, staring at it.
It seems he really is just as consistent as Gaster in some behaviors.
And apparently, when he needs the hard answers, Sans’s subconscious only knows one place to get them.
The head Tem’s sharp-fanged smile borders on gloating when he comes to her, eyes trained on him and expecting, as if she knew he would come here.
…On second thought, he decides, scratch the ‘if’. She was the head Tem, she knew about everything that got within even a fifty-foot radius of her village the second it did so. She knew he was coming here before he himself even did.
“Ah, my favorite expendable life-form.” She drawls, voice sickly-sweet. “How lovely.”
“Save it.” He sighs, flopping down into the chair across from her and fighting off a shiver at the predatory curiosity in her gaze.
The Temmies, Sans has come to realize over the last couple years, seem to… like him— As much as Temmies can like something aside from themselves, at least. At best, he figures, he’s something between an amusing distraction to them and an obedient pet they’ve grown fond of. At worst, a toy they’ve decided is worth not breaking during their play.
Honestly, none of the above descriptions stick out to him as particular definitions of valuing a person’s life, but from what he had gathered from Gaster, the first time the latter came back from meeting with the head Tem to sort out Sans’s potential debts to them, the Temmies showed a certain lenient interest in preserving his continued existence they didn’t really hold for most monsters outside their own kind. It appears those years of work for them had paid off, in their own way.
Still, even knowing he holds something like their favor, that doesn’t stop Sans from being fucking terrified of them.
…And with good reason, he thinks, as he watches the disarmingly small form of the head Temmie as she sits across from him.
“What can I do for you?” She asks, tilting her head faux-innocently, and Sans snorts. As if the Temmies do anything without a cost.
“I need information.”
The grin on the Temmie’s face grows wider. “Information is expensive.”
“Yeah, yeah. Just…” He pauses. It’s useless to ask about the barrier, of course, that he knows. If it was as simple as bartering an answer out of the Temmies, then Gaster would have done it years ago. There’s some things even they don’t know, he supposes.
No, it is something else he seeks explanation on, and yet something just as elusive.
“…This is something I’m not sure even your Temmies will know anything on.” He says, choosing his words carefully, and winces when the head Temmie twitches slightly at his words, clearly less than flattered at his implication that her knowledge of the Underground is less than complete. “Not that your sources are… lacking. I’m just not sure any record of this thing even exists.”
The Temmie raises an eyebrow. “And?”
Sans groans. “Look. If you have something to offer, I’ll do the work for it, but if I tell you about this thing and you don’t have any information, can you take our longstanding… business relationship into consideration and just be honest with me before I go and do a job for you that’s not going to give me anything.”
The Temmie sniffs haughtily. “Tems do not lie, especially about information. That is not a part of our principles. In light of the benefits you have served to the Temmie agenda in the past, I will tell you if I can, in fact, offer you anything on the subject of information you seek.”
He sighs, slumping. “Thank you.”
“So,” She quirks an eyebrow, looking borderline intrigued by the concept of something so mysterious that Sans could think even eludes her, “What is it you seek that you find so confounding?”
“It’s…” Sans pauses, trying to think of a way to accurately describe the presence. “…A creature. I’m not sure if it’s monster or human in origin, or… something else. Hell, I’m not completely sure it’s real.” The Temmie’s eyes narrow, and he shrugs helplessly. “I’ve only met it once, it invaded a nightmare and intervened.”
“And you’re sure this wasn’t just your subconscious taking pity on you?”
He winces. He had considered that for a long time, but… “No. My nightmares… Don’t ever stop like that, and it’s only happened the once. It wasn’t me, it was an outside consciousness with autonomy over my dreams. Or, at least, it had that power in that moment.” The Tem nods, and hesitantly, he continues. “I don’t know what it looks like, it was like it was cast in shadow and its face was just…” Sans waves his hands around his own pointedly. “Not there? Distorted. It had a magic signature, though that was kind of static-like too, as if it wasn’t flowing properly— Powerful, I could tell that much, at least… similar to my own, maybe? I’m not completely sure, I’d never felt anything like it.”
“…And did this creature have a name?”
“It called itself… a remnant.”
The Tem frowns, brows furrowing, and Sans watches almost hopelessly as she looks down at her desk and taps it with an idle paw, considering his words. There’s frustration scrawled across her features, and that’s enough to basically give Sans his answer. Temmies as a rule are in the business of knowing everything, and the only thing that truly frustrates them even more than a situation out of their control is something in the Underground they know nothing about, a true wild card.
“No,” She says at length, “I can’t say I have heard of it.” She jumps off her desk, causing the two Temmies standing at the entryway corners of the room to straighten up almost imperceptibly, but she simply pushes open a crudely-painted bright orange and blue door set against the back wall amongst the rabble of overly-cheerfully colored things in the room, and disappears inside, voice slightly muffled as it rings out again. “You said it had a powerful magic signature?”
“Ah…” He shifts, glancing at one of the guarding Tems, who looks as confused as he does, from what little he can gain of their expression, at least. “Yeah.”
There’s a shuffle, and then the sound of something being pulled off a shelf and of pages being thumbed through. “You live in the castle laboratories, yes? You interact with incredibly strong monsters on the daily. Would you classify it as more or less powerful than the stronger signatures you’re familiar with?”
“I… More, maybe?” Sans frowns, and shakes his head ever so slightly. “No, not more, just… Different? Monsters’ signatures all hold some similarities, even slight ones, but this was completely its own equation.”
“Estimate, then. Just on your initial impressions of raw potential.”
He shudders, doing his best to recall the fading glimpses of the remnant’s magic that single time it had interfered in his mind. “At least around Asgore’s, boss monster capability levels of magic.”
“Hm…” The head Temmie hums, pushing back into the room with a large, well-worn book balanced on her head. “Interesting.” She jumps back into her seat with surprising grace, the book barely wobbling from its position before she lifts it off her head and sets it with a none-to-gentle thump on the desk, flipping through the pages with purpose. “Did it have a soul?”
“…What?”
She peers up at him, a distinct lack of amusement scrawled across her features. “I said: did it have a soul?”
“No, I heard what you said, I just…” He runs a hand nervously over the back of his skull, fingers catching on his jacket hood and drawing it over his head on instinct. “It must have, right? Nothing can survive without a soul.”
The Temmie blinks. “Do you remember the presence of a soul?”
“I—“ He slumps. “No, I don’t, but I wasn’t exactly looking for one, anyways.” He feels a shiver up his spine at the implications of his own words. “What are you getting at?”
With a slight frown, the Temmie looks back down at the book, finally landing on a page and smoothing it out before turning the book around to face Sans. “It is not an exaggeration to say my knowledge of this Underground and its inhabitants is likely second to none. If such a powerful creature were loose in these caverns, no matter how elusive it may be, I would have heard about it.”
“…Alright.”
The Tem sighs, nodding to the book, and Sans’s gaze falls to it, eyes widening at familiar handwriting. “There is a… theory, one that was originally developed as a matter of study on the surface before the war, about the nature between consciousness and soul, and whether they can be separated. “
Sans leans forward, grabbing the edges of the book and pulling it forward. “This is… Gaster’s handwriting.”
“But of course.” The Temmie nods towards the book. “The theory was all conjecture originally, but it became a matter of interest for the first Royal Scientist, whom your Gaster studied under. It was thought that if the theory could be put into action, it might offer a way to a means of escape from the Underground.”
“The lost soul effect…” He mutters, reading the words at the top of the page and peering over the book, taking in Gaster’s messy handwriting in the odd-shaped symbols of his native language. “You said it was about separating the consciousness and the soul?”
“Yes. It is generally assumed the consciousness resides in the soul, particularly in regards to Monsters, as our physical forms have no definable neural systems as humans do.” The Temmie pauses. “This research, however, postulated, among other things, that it might be possible to disconnect the consciousness from the soul, and to exist as a separate entity, so long as the soul remained intact.”
Sans furrows his brows, glancing up at her. “Is it?”
“Do you really think that, were it proven possible, we would not have capitalized on it?” The Temmie says pointedly, and Sans winces in answer. “The theory is absolutely impossible to prove correct within any reasonable bounds of experimentation— Monsters souls are the culminations of their beings, to attempt to separate a monster from their soul would result in an overwhelmingly likely chance of death, and, even back on the surface when human souls were accessible, the conjecture was still too risky to test on them. The only way to prove it true is if a naturally occurring case was found.”
“…And you think…?”
“What you described— A creature capable of thought but without a physical form, with a magic signature but no discernable presence of a soul tied to it, what does that sound like to you?”
“But…” He frowns, fingers running over the symbols at the bottom of the page. “It says here that magic is connected to the soul, not the consciousness, and that severing the two would cut off a monster’s access to magic. This thing definitely had magic.”
The Tem tilts her head in acquiescence. “Magic is channeled from the soul, but the assumption that separating consciousness and soul would separate consciousness and magic is conjecture. It is sound, logical conjecture, yes, but only conjecture. As is this.” She purses her lips, shaking her head. “I am not positive on what it is you believe yourself to have found, but if what you say is true, then whatever it is, it is outside our constraints of how monsters and humans work. It takes incredibly powerful magic to influence the psyche, and to interfere with your sleeping conscious this creature would have to share some bond with your own soul, or at the very least your magic signature.”
Sans’s eyes flicker back down to the page, darting over scattered symbols for soul, magic, mind, body. “…It knew my name. It knew me.”
When he looks to the Temmie, she only stares back impassively, and he sighs, idly flipping the page in the book, and scanning the contents, taking in a similar set of notes and charts. “…What’s this?”
The Temmie glances at the book, and blinks. “Ah. The even more outrageously speculative sister theory to the previous one we just discussed. It suggests potential ways to keep a monster’s consciousness alive during the loss of a soul.”
That catches Sans’s attention, and he skims the page, grimacing at the overly-complex diagram filled with a multitude of numbers and symbols revolving around a central circle with only the symbols for what roughly translated to will-to-live variable set inside it. “How would you give a monster a will to survive after they’re already dying?”
“Human souls survive after death, by the means of something within their own makeup.” The head Tem offers. “This was the idea that, if said something could be isolated, and given to a dying monster, it might revive them. Or, in its more wild concepts, that an object given that isolated human element that allows the soul to persist might allow the object to develop a consciousness.”
Sans shakes his head, sitting back. “That’s more fantasy than logic. Maybe, maybe, you could revive a dying monster, if there were some miracle drug sourced from human souls, but you can’t create a living being out of nothing, that’s just like… something out of one of Gaster’s bad animes. Hell, you could sprinkle monster dust over that item and you still wouldn’t get anywhere, not without a soul, or a residual magic signature at the very least.”
The Tem hums in agreement, and he groans, bringing his hands up to rub wearily at his eyes. “I can’t believe Gaster never told me about any of this, half of our fucking research revolves around the nature of souls.”
…Admittedly, that research was focused on the timeline properties of human souls, not on consciousness and soul, but… Well. It’s not like the Temmies needed to know that little tidbit of information.
“It is possible that he did not remember.” The head Tem says, leaning forward and shutting the book. “These were inane theories his predecessor studied for a short period of time then abandoned, nothing more. I doubt he even remembers trading a spare copy of the research notes in exchange for… a favor.”
Sans grunts in something like concession, not bothering to ask why the Temmies would want the notes to such a seemingly pointless bunch of theories. To them, such things didn’t have to be practical or applicable to be desirable. They coveted knowledge, in all its forms.
“Yeah, I suppose. Not exactly the type of thing someone would try out for a laugh, even him.” Sighing wearily, he pulls his hands away and cracks an eye open. “So, how much do I owe you for even showing me that?”
“Nothing, so long as you inform me of anything further you discover on the subject you came asking me on.”
He blinks, sitting up and staring openly at the Temmie. “Wait, really?”
She scowls. “Do not take this as some foolish form of kind-heartedness. I dislike not knowing about anything in this Underground, particularly things that may have more power than they seem. This creature you speak of… It has peaked my interest, to say the least.”
“…Huh.” Sans returns at length, mentally shrugging and deciding not to question the small mercies in life. The less time he has to waste doing odd jobs for the Tems, the better. “Alright, deal.” Almost idly, he stands, sticking his hands in his pockets. “Well, I should get back, I was only supposed to be out for a quick walk.” The head Tem tilts her head, granting him permission to leave, and he turns, ignoring the ever-unsettling gazes of the guarding Temmies as he goes.
He makes it to two steps before the door when the Temmie’s voice calls out again. “Sans.” He startles slightly, because the Tems almost never use his name, and goddamn is that creepy to hear, and looks over his shoulder, meeting the glimmering stare of the head Tem.
“Your Gaster has never tried to give an inanimate item consciousness or tried to revive a dying monster, true, but that does not make him any less of a stubborn fool, or as forgetful as you or I might give him credit for.”
He swallows nervously. “…What do you mean?”
The Temmie grins, sharp and wide, and once again Sans is reminded of the cold, calculating being she really is. “The dog. Toby. It is not like the other dog monsters of the Underground, you know this— But that is because it is not a monster at all.” Her fangs glint. “It came here many, many years ago, with the human Gaster called his own, and the dogs of the surface, mere pets, do not have such long lifespans as their masters. That dog should, by all reason and logic, be dead, and yet it is not. Do you understand?”
It takes a moment, and then the bottom of Sans’s stomach plummets, a horrible, lurching feeling taking over as the implication of her words, of the words on that book still clutched between her paws, fall into place.
“…No idea what you’re talking about.” He forces out, turning and yanking the door open. “I… I have to go.”
He runs, seeking the quiet of Waterfall, away from this place of cursed ideas and suggestions and of obnoxious facades, away from theories on time-worn paper that bring fear and nervous realizations and paranoia crawling into his throat.
Above all, he pretends not to hear the laughter of the Tems as it chases his heels.
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