It's funny to me, I saw this post at the beginning of highschool and I was like "Omg!! I'm starting highschool so I'll use a pic from begining of Jr. High lol!" And I'm finally a senior in highschool now, officially able to do this correctly and oh boy is there improvement

This was the drawing from the middle school one. Done on Paint shop Pro because I was too scared to download an actual art program or spend money on one. I didn't have a tablet at the time and my sister gave me her hold Wacom drawing pad. Btw, the Psp version I used was literally from the 80's. My mom had it installed and told me that it was the Same as photoshop. Shading is horrible, I used the smudge tool but did not blend it out properly lol, and it also smudged the lineart because I couldn't comprehend layers (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀). Hand is like.. huh??? And anatomy is questionable at best lol. I'm actually surprised I used a different sized pen in this though, I used to hell-bent on using only one size of pen, but I went WAYYY to small and the facial details are so pixelated with the small brush. I also didn't know how to draw backgrounds, so it was again, poorly smudged colors next to eachother.

This was the drawing I made my freshman year. Certainly a little better!!! I learned how to draw smooth lines at least lol. Anatomy's a little better too, and I learned how to somewhat draw hands. However, I did not know proper size proportions and the feet are uneven and the hands are so small. No sense of posing, I used to just wing it back then lol, no references, all from my head. I think the eye style here is pretty interesting, they look upside down!!! Meaningless shading, still. And the shading overall just looks bad, I used the eyedropper tool and desaturated the color, then proceeded to use the smudge tool everywhere. I also only used thin lines because I hated how thick lines looked at the time. I heard so many people talk about line weight and depth and I just refused to listen, telling myself that you could only use one size of pen, and all the lines have to stay consistent in size. Oh! I also had a tablet at this point and used Autodesk sketchbook because it was free lol. I actually kind of started grasping backgrounds?? Most of the time it was just clouds but it was better than nothing lol.

And finally, my art now. There's uh.. definitely a huge difference. Learned line depth and absolutely adore using thick lines lol. Switched programs again !! I now use procreate. I actually learned how to draw hands somewhat, sometimes hands just don't wanna hand, but I can at least make them look decent. I know how to pose characters and use references all the time now. I've also started drawing backgrounds and settings rather than just standalone characters with no personality or depth.

Pinup!!!!! the baby!!!! the guy!!!!

sorry if this looks kinda iffy the majority of this was drawn between 11pm and 2:30am so i was very tired loll

also yes that is a totoro bag i dont care if totoro doesnt exist in cyber city he has a totoro bag come at me

Pinup belongs to @turntableart

Hmmm I kinda want to make a side blog for RPG Maker game development related things to be able to talk to more experienced people in that community, but at the same time I both don’t really think I’d get much attention and don’t want to accidentally spoil my own game (^^ ; ).

I have a rough story, concept doodles, a tileset, some character sprites, an enemy that walks around but can’t initiate battle yet (if I even decide to have a battle system), a couple rooms with some events, and a functioning run button, but I’m still lost on how to do much else at the moment. Especially since this program has the ability for scripting, meaning I’ll probably have to learn and actually retain another coding language.

So, I’m not very far at all lol. Idk how well that’d go over on the established fandom website, but eh.

conflicted!!!

imsoo normal about guys byw

responding to this post about fanfiction from cryptotheism in my own post since i can't add it in a reblog apparently:

this is a really interesting analysis. someone else has probably said this in the notes (i'm kinda scared to check there =3="), but to give my own take:

i think what you're picking up on here comes from the fact that all fanfiction is inherently based on another story, and therefore is fairly preoccupied with responding to that story in one way or another (both positively & negatively). in my own experience of reading it, the best fanfictions are the ones that seem to truly understand the source text, not only in terms of the pieces (characters, settings, etc.) but how they function together and why that does or doesn't work, which is typically demonstrated by taking those pieces and reworking them to fit an entirely different context. this seems to be why characters are so often the main thing that carries over from the source material while the context can change so drastically: character's are some of the most obvious "parts" within the greater "machine" of a story, and are also the part that people get the most attached to (and thus do the most deep analysis of), so changing the setting (often with an AU/alternate universe) is a quick and easy way of changing up the location of each part while still trying to see if you can keep the machine running smoothly.

my argument is thus that fanfiction just as much an analysis of the original story as it is it's own attempt at a creative work, and some of the best fanfictions are the ones that begin with strong analysis. the creation of an entirely new symbolic language just isn't as necessary in that context, since it's more about understanding why the original did or didn't work, what characters or ideas or (at least in some fandoms) ethical/philosophical claims were strong or ultimately failed. "[s]et dressing, objects, even actions," are thus less important overall since the ultimate goal in the vast majority of cases is character study.

to clarify, this kind of analysis i'm getting at isn't just about "what could make the story better," though that may definitely be the case in fandoms where people ultimately feel failed by the original story (e.g. harry potter, game of thrones; the somewhat infamous homestuck fic theater of coolty kinda does this too, actually, since it's more of a character study of the creator than any fictional characters), again it's more out of understanding & refiguring the original pieces, approvingly or critically.

i will say this though, it seems a bit harsh to say that most fanfic authors have never done any deeper study of other literature or poetry. i dunno, that's certainly the case for some of it (just as it is for any other type of writing tbh), and there are a lot of younger fanfic authors that maybe haven't had the time to delve into much more literature than a high school english class offers, but that does feel like a strong judgement to make overall. if the goals of the medium itself are different since it's not "original" fiction, it doesn't seem fair to try and judge it by the same metrics, or to make a judgement of character of the authors themselves when their ultimate objective is just an entirely different thing.

to give a more specific example of a fanfiction where the author has clearly done some studies outside of the work itself, detective pony (two links there) is a now infamous homestuck fanfiction that has gained a lot of traction in recent years after video productions of it were created by naked bee (makes more sense in context, i swear). it utilizes a ton of references to other more formal philosophy and literature, but what i think makes everything work, fundamentally, is the fact that all of those references and the over the top prose is done within the context of what is essentially a character study, which becomes very clear by the end of the story. of course, this is just one potentially outstanding example, but again i think this gets at what i'm saying about the ultimate goals of fanfiction.

TLDR: the goal of fanfiction is, more often than not, analysis of the original work (and specifically character study, typically) just as much as it is the creation of a new story, which means that it may be more useful to adjust our appraisal of it accordingly, rather than trying to judge it by the same metrics as original (well, "original") fiction.

I just saw a really neat and cute and heartfelt looking picture of little knives and him being protective of vash and I look in the tags and. Plantcest.

thinking abt linebeck’s coat. something very alluring about it for some reason. so im just gonna ramble about it here instead of in the tags for once

you can probably start a fight between the people who think it’s a coat and people who think it’s a jacket but i think it’s a coat moving on

the character designs are interesting to look at due to the proportions and art style so it is hard to imagine how long his coat would be but i think it would go down to a bit above ankles because i think that’s good. it’s a bit more dramatic a bit more impressive(?) that way and would probably lead to problems tbh

based on some of the official art i imagine that the stripe at the bottom might’ve been a late addition since it’s missing in the bit of official art most used to represent linebeck. tbh linebeck is inconsistent in very tiny ways in the official art but that’s mostly if you’re gonna be nit-picky or bored enough to notice

his coat is so good it’s simple but very recognizable and stands out among the other character designs in ph and its just. yknow good character design

its also surprisingly good for headcanons and stuff and because i mostly take a lot of canon as suggestion i have a good handful of headcanons tagged specifically onto his coat (one of which is the length of it ig)

i like to imagine that he made it himself. i’ve seen stuff where people write linebeck as being able to fix link’s tunic when it gets torn and i feel like the logical extreme of that is that he made his own coat. i think that adds a layer of. importance to it? it’s unique it’s solely linebeck’s it’s tied to him because he made it with his own hands and maybe it can represent something about him that way?

i like to imagine that in addition to the normal pockets one the outside he’s got a whole lot of little pockets on the inside of the coat, like so many pockets that he hides little trinkets or tools or things he steals in either to keep or to take back to his ship for whatever reason. some of the pockets have little flaps of whatever they’re called that can be secured in place with a small button to keep stuff in

he’s got like pencils and a compass and little notes and tiny figurines and cool rocks and feathers and all kinds of little things he thought was worth keeping around and due to that his coat is uncomfortable sometimes but if he knows for certain he’s going to be busy doing stuff he’ll empty out all of the pockets and only leave the important stuff so that it’s lighter and less uncomfortable. link finds his coat lying around at some point and is caught so badly off-guard by how surprisingly heavy it is with all of the bullshit he keeps in all of his pockets

i also imagine he values it a lot, maybe to the point of being really possessive and protective of it, not letting link touch it and if it gets torn or stained he shuts down and has to fix it before he can move on to anything else, and if he can’t fix it at the time it leave him kind of overwhelmed or upset until he can fix it. he has a lot stocked-up materials specifically for his coat to avoid a situation where he has to go for while with his coat damaged

backing away from headcanon territory, his coat is just a cool bit of character design and has just been lodged in my mind for a while. its cool and never brought up within the game (obviously) and i guess a last little closing thought is that in the cutscene where oshus teleports link above linebeck it kinda looks like his coat moves when he tries to catch link and i think that’s cool

when 99% of the content of one of uur fragments is weird icky stuff

Today I accomplished some important life things. Feeling exhausted but proud of myself. Recovery is a long road, but for today, at least, I feel like I'm finally making real progress.

UGHHHHHH take a shot every time a makeup youtuber uploads a video on their diet or on how sugar ruined their life. paragraph of complaining and criticism of diet culture under cut, ed tw but in a very anti-ed way.

like please just tell me about mascara and stuff, I do not want to be sold a program on how to have an eating disorder. I have SO many rants about this but I'll leave it at this for now: unless done in a very specific and mentally healthy way, restricting categories of food is almost always going to be your first step down a slippery slope, allergies excluded. Restricting one category leads to labeling it as bad, so you assign moral worth to food, so you start trying to 'deserve' your food, et cetera, down you go on that slope.

if i read one more fic that feminises george i'm going to scream

•^_^•

Direct access to authors on tumblr is too dangerous (joking? mostly?) XD

Last random thought:

Had deja vu after talking to my bro: he was talking about video games n nerd shit but that reminded me of how I imagined? taking me about that same video game like a year ago, even though he wasn't playing it, and I was also telling him about these cartoon elves (I was just in the dunmeshi tag) and thinking of jjba p4 but the thing is I wasn't into either of those fandoms (much) last year so that's why i was weird at the time but i just rmbrd it again now. So. Yeah.