#tyreese was so pure and so was sasha | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sourwolf-sterek32 · 4 years

Text

Sucker for Pain ( Daryl Dixon x Reader)

Summary: Everyone has demons, some louder than others and some, like yourself, who use blades to silence them. Before the world died, you were an assassin and thought you were better off alone, until you kept running into the same blue eyed archer who changed your mind.

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Assassin!Reader

Word Count: 3.1k

Trigger Warnings: Mentions of self harm and physical and sexual assault and rape in a few chapters

Chapter 9-

Everyone in the room froze, not knowing what to do.

Their eyes flashing between you and Rick, who took a step towards you, his gun still aimed at your head.

"You do what you gotta do, Deputy." You simply said, holstering your own handgun.

You stared at Rick, his eyes staring right back at you in pure shock when you repeated the same sentence you had said to him all those years ago when you crossed paths with him and Deputy Walsh.

"You going to try deny what he said?" Rick questioned, almost hoping that you would deny everything and just forget about this whole thing, but you shook your head.

"I haven't lied to you once Deputy and I don't plan on starting now." You answered honestly, glancing to your left when the door to the small room opened as Rosita, Eugene, Gabriel and Carl slowly walked out with Judith in the young boys arms as they stared at you cautiously.

You knew that Rosita didn't give a shit about your past and neither did Beth or Daryl, but they weren't the ones in charge, Rick was.

"So, you're saying he was telling the truth?" Rick asked, in disbelief not lowering his gun in the slightest.

"I don't know about the vigilante crap, I just killed people who needed to be killed. When we crossed paths and your partner got stabbed, I was after the last man on my fathers list. Once I killed him, I was going to stop, but then people would come to me with a name and money... I guess after that I became a hit-man, but for a while it was just about finishing what my father started." You tried to explain.

Although, you weren't sure why you were even trying to explain yourself to him. You didn't need to prove yourself, if Rick wanted to kill then he could just do it.

"Your father?" Rick asked in confusion before suddenly something clicked in his brain.

"No, that's impossible, Y/F/N Y/L/N didn't have a any kids." Rick stated shaking his head in disbelief and you had to give him credit for knowing this stuff, but he was wrong.

"Yeah, he did. Once I was born he quit and he went off the grid. But, 12 years later his past caught up to him and a group of men murdered him and my mother while I hid inside a closet. Do you know what that's like? A 12-year-old girl watching her parents get brutally murdered and then having to bury them by yourself because you couldn't call the cops or anyone for help?" You questioned, but Rick just continued to stare at you like he was still trying to wake up from some nightmare.

"After that I found my fathers old gear. The black hoodie, the bandanna, his sniper, his hit-list book that had only half the names crossed out, I found all his old gear. I trained, I practised, I made myself into a better version and then I went after the remaining names on his list." You explained and you watched as Rick's fingers twitched on his handgun, but he didn't show any sign of pulling the trigger or lowering it.

"Why?"

You glanced around at the rest of the group, all of which were still staring at you in shock and you noticed Abraham also had his gun raised in your direction. Typical.

"I knew the people who killed my parents were on that list, they killed my father before he could finish the job. So, I took it upon myself to get justice." You simply explained turning your attention back to Rick as you stated down the barrel of his gun.

"You mean revenge. You have killed 32 people! That's not justice, that's mass murder!" Rick yelled, tilting his head to the side as his hand tightened around his pistol.

"I've killed a lot more than 32 people, Deputy. That's just the number the cops could link back to me, there were dozens more and well including the assholes on the road and these bastards, the number just keeps getting higher." You informed, nodding towards the dead Terminus men on the group causing Rick to glare at you, his jaw clenched as he pulled the hammer back on his handgun with his thumb.

You knew what Rick was about to do. He had the chance to kill you all those years ago, but he didn't and he wasn't going to make that same mistake again.

Suddenly Carl rushed forward, Judith still in arms as he stood between you and Rick.

"Dad, don't." Carl yelled and you stared at the kid in shock. Why would he care if you lived or died?

"Carl, get out the way. She's the Shadow Assassin! She was the biggest target and threat on the police radar before all this, the whole damn country was looking for her and they didn't care if she was bought in dead or alive. Now, move." Rick ordered, but Carl shook his head as Judith began to whimper in his arms.

"Y/N saved us, back on the road with those biker people. She saved us at Terminus. She saved Daryl and Maggie after Judith was born. She saved Daryl and Glenn on a supply run. We'd all be dead if it wasn't for her." Carl tried to argue and Rick looked like he was going to snap as he ran his free hand through his hair in frustration.

"I don't give a monkeys left nut, she's an assassin. I say we kill her." Abraham spoke up causing you to chuckle as you glanced over at the other man. Of course he'd say that, he never liked you from the start.

"I'm not going to let you kill her." Carl insisted, glancing between his father and Abraham.

For a while, nobody said anything before Rick sighed and holstered his handgun.

"Put your hands up. You try anything, I won't hesitate to kill you." Rick threatened and you just nodded as you raised your hands and watched as Rick walked over to you and quickly took your handgun and knife from your belt.

He handed your weapons to Glenn who was the closest before he pulled your sniper from your back, along with your small pistol you kept in your boot.

Rick frisked you to make sure you weren't hiding any other weapons before he felt your small note book on the inside pocket of your jacket.

"It's not a weapon, it's my hit-list, relax." You commented noticing his slight panic.

Rick pulled the small book out passing it off to Maggie before he went through your other pockets, but all he found was the needle and thread.

"What are you going to do with her?" Glenn asked, speaking up for the first during the whole thing.

You turned your attention back to Rick because you were pretty interested in whatever answer he'd say.

"Don't know yet. Sit down." Rick ordered sternly, pointing towards the wooden church bench to your left and you did as he said and sat down.

You watched as Abraham began going through one of the bags from the Terminus men, probably trying to find something to tie you up with as he pulled out a set of handcuffs and you had to stop yourself from grinning.

You could easily get out of them if you wanted, but you knew that was probably a stupid idea. So you sat there quietly as Rick took them from Abraham and cuffed your wrists together causing to you wince slightly when he bumped your stitches on your wrist.

"Nobody goes near her and if she moves, kill her. We'll figure something out in the morning, lets just get these bodies out." Rick instructed and with that everyone began to move and help each other with the bodies as they dragged them out the church while you sat there and watched.

That night everyone spread out around the church, being mindful of the blood on the floor from the Terminus men while you remained sitting where Rick told you to.

You wondered what Daryl would do if he came back, no when he came back. He didn't seem to give a shit about your past, but now that Rick knew and didn't like it, Daryl probably wouldn't like it either.

Those two were as close as brothers and you'd doubt Daryl would take your side over Ricks and you wouldn't blame him.

Rick, Abraham and few others switched off throughout the night to keep watch and to keep an eye on you. But, you just sat there and slept for most the night, because what else were you meant to do? You were probably going to die soon anyway, so might as well get a good nights sleep.

The following morning was crazy to say the least. Everyone said their last goodbyes to Bob, minus you because Rick wouldn't let you move from the seat, except for when you needed to pee and Maggie convinced Rick to let her take you out to the woods to pee.

She'd offered you a chance to leave, told you to just go because she knew you weren't a bad person, but you couldn't leave.

You had to help find Daryl and make sure he was okay. Once you knew he was okay then you might leave or hell, Rick might kill you, but you didn't care as long as Daryl was okay.

Bob died a few hours later and the group buried him while you stood off to the side, your hands still cuffed with Rick practically watching your every move.

Once they buried their friend, Abraham declared that it was midday and got his group ready to leave, including Glenn, Maggie and Tara and you all watched as they drove the bus off down the dirt road leaving you, Rick, Carl, Judith, Michonne, Sasha, Tyreese and Gabriel at the church.

The rest of the day was fairly uneventful, Rick still wasn't sure what to do with you. Carl wouldn't let him kill you and he didn't want to let you leave because you could easily find them again, but he couldn't trust you to be part of the group and you understood that. But, you were starting to get real bored of sitting and standing around in handcuffs.

"Guys, Daryl's back." Michonne's voice suddenly called from the front door.

You glanced over your shoulder from where you were sitting one of the benches to find Michonne walking back inside followed by Daryl and some kid you had never seen before.

In an instant the group all rushed over them, minus Sasha who was mourning her boyfriends death and still sitting outside somewhere.

You watched as Rick pulled Daryl into hug and Daryl asked where the others were and Rick explained everything as they all began walking back to the front of the church where you were still sitting.

You listened as Daryl began explaining what happened and you tried to keep the handcuffs hidden. You didn't want Daryl to see them and get distracted by them because he was in the middle of explaining what happened to Beth and Carol and you really wanted to know. Plus he was explaining how he found this kid who's name was apparently Noah.

By the time he finished explaining everyone was staring at him in shock because the people who took Beth, had also taken Carol. And this Noah guy used to be one of them, but got free and knew exactly where their camp was.

Within an hour the group of them agreed to a plan.

Tomorrow morning you were all going to board up the windows, block off the front steps so no walkers could get into the church where Michonne, Carl, Judith and Gabriel would be staying.

The rest of you were going to head to Atlanta to try get Carol and Beth who were apparently being help hostage by a group of police officers inside some kind of hospital.

"Y/N, you're staying here." Rick instructed sternly, but you shook your head.

Beth was one of the few people who actually treated you like a normal person, you were going with them and you were going to get Beth back.

"I'm going, but not to help you. I'm going to help, Beth. If you want to stop me then you're going to have to do more than just these handcuffs." You responded, holding your hands up from your lap to show off the handcuffs around your wrist towards the group who were all sitting on the various benches.

Your eyes locked with Daryl's as he stared at you for a few seconds in confusion before his head snapped around to Rick in sudden anger.

"The hell ya got her chained up for?!" Daryl questioned, glaring at his best friend who sighed, rubbing his face with his hands.

"She's the Shadow Assassin! She's not a good person, we can't trust her." Rick stated pointing towards you causing you to roll your eyes, but you didn't want Daryl getting worked up about this. You needed to focus on Beth and Carol, that was the only thing that mattered.

"She ain't a threat to us! Rick, she-" Daryl began to argue before you cut him off.

"It's cool, Daryl. Rick's just trying to protect the group. I get it. Let's just focus on what's important, okay?" You asked, looking over at Daryl as you gave him a reassuring smile and he looked like he wanted to argue about the topic more. His eyes glanced down to the cuffs on your wrist before he sighed, but nodded.

"Good, now I'm coming with you and once we get them back then you do whatever you want with me, Deputy. But, until then, I am coming with you." You stated sternly and Rick stared at you for a few seconds before he nodded.

"Everyone go get some rest. We start securing the place in the morning and leave after that." He instructed.

Everyone nodded in agreement and went off to their bags and blankets while Rick and Daryl stayed sitting on the bench near you.

"Why didn't you just kill me and Shane that day in the cabin? Why help Shane control the bleeding and let me call for back up? Hell, you even used Shane's walkie to call for backup yourself. Most bad guys would've just killed us and left." Rick said after a few minutes of silence while Daryl sat beside him, chewing at his thumb nail, both of their eyes on you and you smiled softly at them.

"I only kill bad people, Deputy. You officers were just trying to do your job and caught in the crossfire." You answered honestly.

Rick didn't know how to respond to that as he leant back in his seat, still staring at you.

"Did you feel anything when you killed all those people? Did you feel anything at all?" Rick asked and you knew he was trying to wrap his head around why you used to do what you did, but there wasn't anything you could say that help him understand.

"Recoil."

Daryl glared at you, silently telling you to shut up because you really weren't helping your situation, but you just shrugged your shoulders.

"All those people I've killed both before and after? I want you to know that I'd do it again. They're rapists, psychos, sadists, murderers, they don't deserve to live after the stuff they have done."

"Why do you get to live? Why do you get to choose who lives and who dies?" Rick asked.

"There are worst things than dying, Deputy. I wake up most mornings and I want it. I hope for it. So, if you think that I deserve to die, then go right ahead. But, if you want to get Carol and Beth back then you're going to need my help. Take your pick." You responded, leaning back in your chair as you stared at them.

"Ya ain't killin' her." Daryl muttered defensively and Rick just nodded as he stood up and walked off, knowing if he stayed there any longer than it would end in an argument.

"Thought I told ya to lie if he ever figured out who ya were." Daryl whispered, moving seats as he sat down beside you.

"And I told you that I wouldn't lie to him." You answered.

"He could've killed ya while I wasn't here." Daryl muttered, a hint of anger in his tone, but you shook your head.

"He could have. But, he won't, at least not until we get your friends back." You explained.

Daryl rubbed his face with his hands before leaning over and resting his arm over your shoulders like he did that night in the woods.

"I ain't gonna let that happen." He stated and you sighed.

Daryl was willing to get into an argument with Rick and his group and stand up for you. Why? It won't end well and you couldn't drag him down. They were his family, you couldn't come between that.

"You're strong. You're smart and I like you, alright? But, you're so goddamn stubborn and you will throw everything you have with this group away for me and I can't let that happen. So, when that time comes after we get your friends back, I need you to promise me that you will agree to whatever Rick decides, okay? I can't let you throw everything away for me." You stated, glancing over at him, but Daryl shook his head as his arm tightened around your shoulders. His face was covered by his hair, but you could see the way he was biting his lip as he thought about what to day.

"Nah, we'll figure it out. We'll figure it out together." Daryl replied, but you shook your head.

"No. I can't let you throw everything away for me. There's no warm cozy ending, not for me. There's no light at the end of this tunnel, I knew that a long time ago and I've excepted it, so I need you to except it too. Whatever Rick decides after all of this, you just go with it, please. Promise me." You said, resting your head down against his shoulder as he held you and you could feel him shaking his head at you.

"Can't promise that." He mumbled, resting his head on top of yours, but neither of you said anything after that as you both slowly fell asleep.

NEXT CHAPTER

Link in bio for Masterlist, I will reblog with my Daryl Dixon Tag List, if you want to be added to the list, just comment below.

#Daryl Dixon #Daryl Dixon x Reader #The Walking Dead #daryl dixon fanfiction #daryl dixon fanfic #twd #the walking dead fanfic #the walking dead fanfiction #norman reedus #reader insert

172 notes · View notes

jamesbucksiclebarnes · 4 years

Photo

Rating: Mature: Language, violence, Major Character Death.

Chapter List: [1] | [2] | [3] | [4] | [5] | [6] | [7] | [8] | [9] | [10] | [11] | [12] | [13] | [14] | [15] | [16] | [17]

[AO3 Link] | [Fic Page]

Tag List: @crossbowking, @khaleesislytherin

SERIES SUMMARY:

"Not human. She was not human. They all knew it. Could almost feel it, but couldn't make sense of it. That was why they were afraid. Not because of what she used to be Before. But because of what she was now."

Having found herself serving as the right-hand to the Governor for too long, Synnove le Jacques does her best to make things right with the people of the Prison. Stuck beside her partner in crime, her irritatingly obnoxious and hideously problematic best friend, Merle, she does her best to fight back against the monster she has let the Governor become.

CHAPTER TITLE: At The Gates of Hades.

When we arrived at the gates of Woodbury, night had fallen.

We had parked the cars up the road, out of sight, and made the rest of the journey on foot. As per the plan, I separated from the group once we were within throwing distance of the gate, skulking off into the shadows to the right. I got as close as I could without being spotted and waited for Rick to fire off half a round into the gate.

Once he had drawn the attention of the two guards, I stalked forwards, keeping low and silent until I reached the building where the gate met the solid brick wall. It was easy to climb. I’d done it a dozen times before.

Neither of the two people lying prone atop the guard walk that ran along the top of the gate noticed me. It took me a second to realize I didn’t recognise either of them, meaning my sheer presence alone wouldn’t be enough to subdue them.

They continued to fire into the darkness, toward the upturned car Rick and Daryl were hiding behind.

“G’day mates,” I greeted loudly.

Both the burly man and athletically slender woman jolted at the suddenness of my voice. The girl was the first on her feet, swinging her rifle toward me. I stepped into her guard as quick as lightning, grabbing the gun by the barrel and twisting it to the side.

The woman let out a hiss of pain as her finger twisted inside the trigger guard, forcing her to pull her hand back. With her grip on the rifle loosened, I was easily able to yank it from her grip, turning in place to make a move against the man.

He was tall with wide-set shoulders and thickly coiled arms, but his size made him slow. By the time I’d disarmed the woman, he’d only just managed to get onto his feet.

I used the butt of the gun to strike him in the chest, winding him easily before smoothly reaching to pull my knife free from my belt. The motion was so quick and elegant that the woman didn’t even have time to register what I was doing until my arm was mid-swing.

She sucked in a breath of fear as I slashed the knife toward the man.

The strap of his rifle frayed and snapped. Having not expected the rifle’s full weight to suddenly be in his hand, the man’s grip faltered slightly. I lifted my leg and kicked at the man’s forearm, jarring his loose hold on the gun enough that it clattered to the floor.

The woman, overcoming her slight shock, stepped forward in an attempt to subdue me. I felt her coming and stepped backwards, ducking beneath her arm before straightening behind her. The rifle in my grip fell to the floor, enabling me to reach out and grab her, lifting my other hand to hold my knife to her throat.

The man’s eyes went wide, his mouth opening in shock as he raised his hands.

“No, no,” he pleaded. “Please. Take me, not her. Please.”

I watched him silently for a moment, taking in the pure fear on his face as his gaze slipped between my face and the knife I was gently pressing against the dark skin of the woman’s throat.

“Relax, big boy,” I said after a minute, letting my grip on the woman fall lax. Purposefully, I stepped away from her, sheathing the knife. “Just needed to get your attention.”

The woman took a quick step forward to stand beside him, her hand reaching up to the unmarred skin of her throat.

From the road bellow, Rick’s voice called up, “Open the gate!”

The man seemed to do a double-take when he looked down at Rick, his eyes going wide. Beside him, the girl’s face contorted into a scowl.

“We’re not letting you in here,” she said pointedly.

“Fine,” I sighed. “I will.”

I saw her eyes snap down to the discarded rifle by her feet mere seconds before she actually made a move for it. My knife was out of its sheath, flying through the air, and embedding itself in the wood between the grip and trigger guard before her hand could even reach it. She jerked back.

“We aren’t here to fight you,” I insisted.

“Tyreese! Sasha!” Karen’s voice called from the darkness.

The man, Tyreese, jerked his entire body toward the sound as he called out, equally confused as he was concerned, “Karen? Karen, are you okay?”

She stepped out from the shadows of the trees and into the light. “I’m fine!”

“Where’s the Governor?” Tyreese asked with a suspicious glance toward me.

“He fired on everyone,” Karen replied, a hitch in her voice. “He killed them all.”

Tyreese and Sasha shared a troubled glance before looking back down at her, gesturing a hand toward Rick. “Why are you with them?” he asked.

“They saved me,” Karen replied.

Sasha turned to look at me, her brows furrowed, thick lips turned down at the corners. “Who are you – why are you here?”

“Synnove,” I answered. Their instant, somewhat shocked reaction told me that they had definitely heard my name before. “We were on our way to finish this when we found Karen and the others.”

“They… He… He killed them all?” Tyreese asked, his voice shaken slightly as he gave me a heart-wrenched look.

I nodded once, swallowing against the sharp sensation in my throat.

With a deep sigh, Tyreese looked to the woman standing beside him and pursed his lips. Seemingly making up his mind, he turned and began to climb down the haphazardly built ladder. Sasha followed him. Once they were both on the ground, I jumped down, landing on the asphalt beside him with nary a sound.

Together, we pulled open the gate.

Rick approached purposefully, looking intensely up at Tyreese, his lips in a tight line.

Tyreese was almost comically larger than Rick, which would have made me laugh had the circumstances been different.

“Karen told us Andrea hopped the fence, made a break for the prison,” Rick informed them. “She never made it.”

Both Sasha and Tyreese’s expressions fell. They knew what that meant. The Governor had gotten to her first.

“She might still be here,” Rick stated, giving both guards pointed looks.

I felt something cold spread through my vines as both Sasha and Tyrese shared a troubled glance. Neither of them knew where to even begin looking for her.

But I did. And the realization made my stomach twist painfully.

“Follow me,” I breathed, grabbing Rick by the sleeve of his shirt and tugging him forwards.

I led them down to the cells with my heart lodged in my throat. The distant tang of copper lingered on my tongue, the smell growing stronger with each step toward the building in which we had always housed our prisoners. When we reached the hall, the stench of both death and blood was almost overwhelming.

“This is where he’d keep her,” I stated with a hoarse voice, gesturing down the hallway toward the ominous metal door at its end.

Rick made a move to step past me and I reached out to grab his shoulder. He turned his head jerkily, giving me an agitated look before his expression softened slightly at the sight of my guilty frown.

“I don’t have a good feeling about this,” I breathed.

He gave me a nod of acknowledgement before pulling away.

Michonne followed behind him, her hand gripping the handle of her blade as if she, too, had the sense she may need to use it.

Daryl lingered in the entrance of the hall, watching me as I stood there in indecision. Did I want to know what lay behind that door? Probably not. But I didn’t want them to face it alone. With a curt nod to the man beside me, I began to follow Rick and Michonne down the hall.

Rick tried to push the door open only to find the lock securely in place. He called out Andrea’s name and was met with a breathy, weak response from the other side. Spurred on by concern, he attempted to throw his body against the metal door, willing it to open beneath his weight. It held strong for a few moments before finally crumbling from the assault, bursting open and filling the hallway with an overwhelming stench of blood and death.

Rick stepped inside, followed shortly by Michonne. The looks on their faces solidified the idea that what lay beyond was nothing but bad news.

Daryl stepped in next. He let out a sigh through his nose at the sight before him.

Next, I slowly passed through the doorway.

Andrea sat, partially sunken to the floor, against the metallic wall beside the doorway. Her pale skin was almost grey, coated in a thick sheen of sweat. On her shoulder was a wide, gaping circular wound, spilling blood down the front of her shirt. I had lived in this world long enough to know a biter’s mark when I saw one.

While Rick, Michonne, and Daryl stood around her, I found my gaze being drawn across the room to the second body. Slowly, I stepped over to it, coming to a stop beside it with a sickening feeling beginning to well in my stomach.

Crouching down, I reached out to touch the corpse’s shoulder and began to turn him over. I needn’t have bothered. I already knew who it was. Looking down at his slackened expression was still a punch to the gut.

“Goddamn it, Milton,” I whispered to myself.

“He turned on him,” Andrea breathed from the other side of the wall.

I turned in place to look at her with a frown.

“He tried to help me,” she wheezed.

My frown slowly turned into a sad smile as I looked back at her, nodding. Figures the moment Milton did something out of his comfort zone, it’d get the poor guy killed. I turned him over onto his back, putting his arms over his chest as some kind of sign of respect, before straightening and coming to stand beside the others.

Tyreese and Sasha were both lingering in the doorway. Their matching expressions of horror would have been comical in a less devastating circumstance.

The group shared their final goodbyes with Andrea. It was heart-wrenching to say the least. I barely knew the woman and even I felt close to tears.

When she looked over to me, I gave her an appreciate nod. “Sucks to be the good guy sometimes, don’t it?” I asked with a sad grin. The remark made her chuckle which, in turn, made her wince.

Michonne’s goodbye was the worst. My jaw clenched so hard it began to ache. I was trying too hard to hold back the sorrow. But once all was said, Rick gave her a gun and we left her to do what needed to be done.

The sound of the gunshot made everyone flinch. Even me.

Later that day, I stood upon the steps of the town hall with Tyreese, Karen, and Sasha beside me. We told the people the truth of the Governor’s actions, of the stories he had spun in order to make us seem like the villains. Some had accepted our words as fact whilst others had argued that I was just trying to save face.

Karen’s assurances were the only thing that kept them from revolting against me and soon, when the sun reached the centre of the sky, many of the people of Woodbury accepted me once again as their friend and comrade.

Rick came to stand beside me, offering the people of Woodbury sanctuary at the prison. He wasn’t shy about describing the difficulties. Starting anew would be a lot of work but, with all of us, it was entirely possible to begin a community that valued its people more than its power.

Almost everyone agreed. Those who didn’t decided to leave of their own volition. We didn’t stop them.

I began yelling out orders for Nelson and Margarette to fetch the buses from the Governor’s yard and for the rest of the people to gather their belongings. We couldn’t be sure when or if the Governor would even return, so it was best to act quickly. I stressed that fact as calmly as I could. Everyone obeyed without question.

Once I was confident everyone was in motion, I led Daryl and Rick to the supply rooms. We still had a dozen or so seeds that had yet to be planted, a whole shelf full of canned goods, and whatever weaponry the Governor had deigned to leave behind. Daryl began packing the stuff up in boxes.

I grabbed Rick by the shoulder and jerked my head toward the second door. It led to a small enclosed pantry, within which I knew lay something that would be beneficial to Rick in particular.

He walked beside me over toward the door and I pulled it open with a wide grin, watching his expression as he saw what lay within.

The pure, elated look of joy on his face was enough to warm my chest, to set the sorrow toiling within aside for a welcomed moment.

“Our youngest was still dependant on this when she and her mother first arrived,” I explained, looking into the cupboard with a smile. “Believe it or not, most of it was found in the town itself. Didn’t even need to go out venturing for it. Lucky for you.”

Rick turned away from the shelf of baby formula and gave me a wide grin. “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

The day passed us by quickly. Everyone was almost ready to go before the sun had dipped beneath the tree line.

I was standing by the school bus with Daryl, making sure all the kids were getting on safely, when the thing I had been dreading the most happened.

Two girls, pale with curly red hair and wide, innocent eyes, came bounding up to me. Their faces were identical down to the last freckle across their tiny, button noses. The Helena twins had taken to me the moment we’d met, when their mother had first joined the guard alongside me. Since her arrival, we had spent a lot of time together, to the point where the twins had begun jokingly referring to me as “Aunty Syn”. The moment I saw them all but skipping up to me, their twin ponytails bouncing along, my heart froze mid-beat.

My entire body went cold. I could barely move by the time they reached me, both throwing themselves at me with such force I let out a grunt and had to step back in order to keep my balance. Their arms wrapped around my waist as they both let out a series of sweet giggles.

“We knew you’d come back,” Tayra said chirpily.

“Mommy said you wouldn’t, but we knew,” said Ava.

Slowly, my entire body fighting against the urge to break down right then and there, I wrapped my arms around them. My chest was so tight I was struggling to breathe, my jaw clenching and unclenching with the effort it was taking not to cry.

How the fuck was I supposed to tell these girls… These sweet, innocent girls that their mother was dead? That she’d been gunned down by the very man that had promised them safety?

My mask was beginning to slip. I couldn’t keep it in place. Face contorting into a miserable frown, I looked beside me with a desperate look at Daryl.

Understanding dawned on his face instantly. But what could he do?

The girls pulled away from me and I, against all odds, managed to slip that mask straight back into place with enough effort to tear a figurative muscle. Neither of them sensed anything was wrong.

“Are we all going to the prison now?” Tayra asked with a grin. “I’ve never been to a prison before.”

I lowered myself down into a crouch and touched both of their shoulders on opposite sides. “Yeah. We are. You excited?”

Both girls nodded gleefully.

I gave them what even I admit was a strained smile. They were ignorant to the reality that awaited them. Did I have the willpower to be the one to pull the veil of innocence from their eyes?

“Good. You got everything?” I asked.

They shared a thoughtful look before nodding at me with a grin. “Miss Silvia packed our bags for us,” Ava answered.

“Did she remember Mr and Mrs Piggy?” I asked them with a forced look of humorously exaggerated mock doubt, referring to the identical stuffed pigs they never slept without.

Tayra giggled. “Of course, she did!”

I nodded and rose to my feet. “That’s good. Are you ready to go?”

That was when things took a turn for the worst. Ava and Tayra shared another look in the way I guessed all twins did. It was a look that carried an entire conversation. When they looked back at me, their demeanour had shifted slightly. They seemed almost shy.

“We’re waiting for Mommy,” Tayra said.

“We don’t want to go without her,” Ava added.

I had hoped beyond hope that they just wouldn’t bring it up. A stupid hope, I know. Really, it was cruel of me to stretch this on. Selfish, even. But I’d needed a minute to gather the balls to do it.

With an unrestrained miserable look at Daryl, I lowered myself back down into a crouch and reached out to take both of their tiny hands in my own.

Daryl, understanding my need to do this alone, took a deep breath through his nose before walking away, toward where Rick and Michonne were standing by the other bus.

“Listen girls,” I began, fighting to keep my tone clear and crisp. The sorrow beneath my voice was unmistakeable, however, and both girls looked troubled as they glanced down at our joined hands. “Your mum… uh… Your mother, she… She’s gone, girls. I’m sorry.”

They blinked up at me in confusion. Both of them had already begun to tear up, their green eyes shining as they shook their heads in almost perfect unison. They pulled their hands from mine and stepped back.

“No – No, she’s not!” Tayra yelled angrily.

“What do you mean she’s gone?” Ava, unlike her sister, was timid and confused. “Gone where?”

Fucking God. I was struggling to keep my own emotions in check, to keep my own eyes clear and my voice unhitched. “Hey, hey,” I said softly, reaching back out to take their hands again. Ava let me. Tayra didn’t. “I know it’s difficult to understand, but your mother was doing what she thought best to keep you girls safe. But the Governor… The Governor was a bad man and he hurt everyone. Everyone that was with him. Including your mother.”

“The Governor?” Ava asked, her pale auburn brows furrowing. “But he cares about us. He’s our friend.”

I shook my head. “He was, once. Mine, too. But he changed.”

Tayra’s tears had begun to slip free of her wide eyes, trickling down her reddened cheeks as she glared at me with a scowl. “You were supposed to protect us!”

My throat closed up. I was forced to squeeze my eyes shut in order to force back the tears that had begun to gather. “I know,” I said, my voice breaking on the last word. “I know, girls. I tried.”

“You didn’t try!” Tayra yelled, her voice now carrying across the street. People turned in our direction.

Ava was still standing there, holding my hands, as she began to sob herself. With her sister screaming at me in the background, she stepped forwards and wrapped her arms around my shoulders. I held her tightly to my chest whilst her sister watched, disgusted.

“Don’t hug her! It’s her fault!”

“Shhh,” I whispered to Ava. My gaze remained on Tayra as I opened one of my arms, inviting her in.

It took her a minute. She had to work through the anger first, I think. I could relate to that. But soon, almost screaming in defeat, she leapt forward and into my embrace.

We hugged for a good few minutes as I struggled to keep my own emotions swallowed down. I doubted my own breakdown would do them any good.

After a little while, Silvia stepped out of the bus where she had been organising the other children, and came to stand beside us with a sad look. I glanced up to her at her arrival, nodding as I pulled away from the twins.

“Alright, girls,” I breathed softly. “Time to go. I’ll meet you there, okay?”

They both nodded. Tears still streaked down their cheeks, but they had exhausted themselves with their own sobs. Tiredly, they staggered over to Silvia, who helped them up onto the bus with one final, thankful look in my direction.

I waited a few moments until the doors of the bus closed before making my way over to where Rick, Daryl, and Michonne still stood. They were helping some of the townsfolk load their belongings into the storage section beneath the bus.

Daryl noticed me first. He stepped around Rick with a concerned look. “You alright?”

“Absolutely not,” I answered with a forced grin. “When are leaving?”

“In about five minutes,” Rick answered. “Ready?”

I looked down the road. Memories played across my vision as I took in sight before me. The first time I’d seen it, overrun with biters in the dark, dreary light of dusk. Then, a few weeks later, the first time I’d looked down this street and seen nothing but the living. The feeling I’d had when I realized we’d actually done it. Made a place. A home. I had a vivid memory of Merle and Martinez running down the street, chasing a football that had gone astray from a group of young kids. They’d fought over who would get it first.

Merle had fallen flat on his face, which had tripped Martinez, who had rolled to a stop just a few feet away from where the ball had come to rest.

A small, bittersweet smile stretched across my face as I looked back to Daryl and Rick. “You guys go. There’s something I need to do.”

Both Rick and Daryl shared a concerned look before turning back to me with near matching frowns.

“You sure?” Rick asked, his forehead creased in worry. “I don’t like leaving you here alone.”

Daryl didn’t even give me a chance to respond. He stepped forward, glancing at Rick with a nod, before declaring, “I’ll stay.”

Rick nodded and looked to me. “Don’t be long. We’ll leave one of the cars behind for you.”

I nodded my appreciation and stood by as he climbed onto the bus and into the driver’s seat. Daryl and I stood side-by-side and watched the buses pull out of the front gate and onto the road beyond. Three of the cars followed closely behind.

The silence that settled once they were out of sight was almost deafening. I turned in place to look back down that long road, at the line of shops and houses that made up the majority of the place I had, until recently, called home. A sharp sensation began to build in my chest.

Without a word, I began to walk down the street, my hands shoved into the pockets of my jeans.

Daryl followed along behind me, respectively silent.

When we reached my apartment building, I stood by the front doors for a good moment before gathering the will to actually go inside. I’d lived on the top floor, in the apartment beside Merle’s and above Martinez’s. As I walked up the stairs, looking down each hallway, I felt myself hollowing out. Almost every door had been left ajar, giving me a decent look inside most of the apartments. They were barren, stripped of personal belongings, and had an almost ghostly air about them. Logically, I knew people had been through here no more than half an hour ago, but it felt as if this place had been abandoned for years.

When we reached the top floor, I found myself hesitating at the beginning of the hallway. My initial thought was to gather my own belongings in solitude, so that I’d have a spare moment to myself in order to finally allow the tidal wave of emotions welling within me to spill over. But now, I wasn’t alone. Though I doubted Daryl would judge me if I broke down there and then, I wasn’t entirely comfortable with the idea of exposing myself so vulnerably to him quite yet.

Walking into my own apartment after all this time would be hard enough, but the second idea that filtered in through my foggy mind was even harder. Yet, I knew, deep down, it was what needed to be done. I could deal with losing the majority of my shit. It was only stuff, after all.

Taking in a deep breath, I began walking down the desolate hallway with my heart in my throat. Passing by my own door, I came to a stop in front of Merle’s apartment. He’d never locked his damn door.

It swung open easily, exposing the room beyond before us in all it’s plain-ass glory. You wouldn’t really expect it of Merle, but he kept the place almost pristinely tidy. Even folded his damn shirts. I used to make fun of him for it, though I knew it was a habit he’d likely picked up in the army.

Remaining in the doorway a beat, I turned my head to look at Daryl with a sad smile. Without a word, I jerked my head toward the interior of the room. Understanding dawned on the young Dixon’s face, his mouth twitching downward in a sad frown. Taking in a deep breath through his nose, he nodded at me and stepped past, into the room.

I followed, gently closing the door behind me.

“Damn neat-freak,” Daryl remarked under his breath as he turned in place, taking in the room with a snort.

I let out a soft laugh, walking over to the haphazardly built bookcase against the right wall. We’d kept a stash of Russel’s moonshine in the cabinet beneath the last shelf, along with a handful of what Merle referred to as “keepsakes”. He’d told me a story about each one, and though I was almost eighty-seven percent certain half of them had been utter bullshit, there was one hiding in there that I knew he’d spoken honestly about.

As Daryl moved further into the room, lifting the lid of the trunk at the end of the bed, I lowered myself down into a crouch and pulled open the small cupboard door beneath the bookcase.

The box of bottles sat at the forefront of the shelf. There were roughly six bottles left, all mostly full of the clear liquid, with their lids firmly latched. I pulled them out with a sad smile, placing them on the carpeted ground beside me. Behind that box was another, smaller cardboard rectangle. Gingerly, I pulled it to the front of the shelf.

Inside, there were enough knick-knacks to make the Little Mermaid squeal with joy. A shitty, metal cigarette holder with a painted image of naked woman on the front; an old, rusted bullet, supposedly from World War Two; exactly two-dollars-thirty-five in coins; a belt buckle depicting a skeleton riding on a motorcycle; and a small, closed jewellery box.

I took out the plain box, holding it in the palm of my hand for a moment. The box had belonged to the previous occupant of my apartment. I’d kept it in my possession until Merle had shown up. I still remembered the day I’d given it to him, mockingly getting down on one knee and opening the empty box with a declaration of, “Would you do me the honour of fucking right off out of my life forever?”

He’d given me a mock-gasp and responded in a high, mockingly feminine voice, “Yes, yes. A thousand times yes.”

The memory made the corners of my sad smile twitch. My eyes began to sting with the urge to cry. I swallowed back against the sharp sensation in my throat and rose up to my feet, taking a deep breath before turning to face Daryl. He was partway through rummaging around in Merle’s old trunk, pulling out his shirts and discarded books and tossing them to the side without much thought.

I moved toward him, gripping the box in my hand tightly.

He noticed my approach and straightened, his gaze going from my frowning face to the box in my hand and back with a curious expression. “What’s that?”

I opened my mouth to answer, only to find no words would come. Looking back down at the box, I cleared my throat and let out a shaken breath before trying again. “It wouldn’t feel right leaving these here. I think he would’ve liked you to have them.”

I offered the small, black box to him with a sad smile.

He kept his gaze on me for a moment, furrowing his brows in confusion before taking it from me and looking down at it with indecisive confusion. The moment he opened it, I felt the change in the air instantly. His expression fell for a moment, contorting into a visage of complete and utter sorrow before a slow, sad smile spread across his face. Holding the box in one hand, he reached up and pulled the dog-tags from the small cushioned interior.

“He, uh… He wore them all the time at the start,” I explained, my voice shaky and slightly hitched. “They kept getting grabbed by biters when we were outside the fence, so I convinced the idiot to take them off whenever we went on runs.”

The sound Daryl made was halfway between a laugh and a sob. Honestly, I felt that sound in my damn soul. With a sniffle, he shook his head and lowered the dog-tags back into the box, handing it back to me without closing the lid. I took it with a confused frown in his direction.

He just shook his head again, eyes downcast, mouth pulled in a taut line.

“Daryl…” I breathed, but he turned away and walked over to the window, shoulders teased, head down.

My lips pouted in a frown as I stood there, looking at his back with my brows furrowed. After a silent moment, I looked down at the box in my hand, at the silver chain and small pieces of metal, the only things that remained of his brother… and slowly lifted them out. I placed the box on top of the junk inside the trunk before walking forwards, coming to a stop behind Daryl’s stiff back.

“I’m going to put these on you,” I said matter-of-factly. “And if you move, I might just choke you with them.”

Daryl jerked around to face me, his eyes wide and full of misery as he shook his head again. “I can’t wear them. They ain’t mine.”

“The hell you can’t,” I responded, keeping eye contact with him as I lifted the chain up, over his head.

To give him credit, he didn’t move. Just watched me with his brows furrowed as I lowered the dog-tags, securing the chain behind his neck with a small, sad smile. We were standing so close I could feel the warmth of his body, hear the way his heart-beat thundered rapidly inside his chest.

“He loved you, you know,” I said softly. “In his own weird, entirely fucked up way.”

Daryl’s miserable expression faded for a brief moment as he snorted a breathy chuckle. Surprisingly, he didn’t dispute me on it like I’d half expected him to. Instead, he looked down at the dog-tags that now dangled from around his neck and swallowed back against his emotions. Gently, he lifted a hand and grabbed the tags, pursing his lips in an effort to stop them from quivering.

I took half a step back in order to give him some room.

“I miss him,” he said after a moment, his voice soft, gruff and shaky.

My heart squeezed painfully in my chest at the admission and I, myself, had to swallow back against the sharp emotion stuck in my throat. “I know,” I breathed. “Me, too.”

His gaze lifted from the tags to meet mine, almost as if he hadn’t quite believed me. But the fact that I’d been able to say it at all told me it was true. I really would miss the problematic little fucker. It hadn’t really hit me until that moment. The reality of how much I’d actually cared about the man. He’d been a horrible person but somehow, he’d managed to wiggle his way into my heart more than I cared to admit.

Daryl seemed to see that realisation manifest on my face, and he dropped the tags to his chest, reaching out for me with one hand. His fingers curled around my tattooed upper arm and he pulled me gently toward him. I stepped forward, allowing him to wrap his arms around me in a tight hug.

I went stiff, unsure how I felt about the sudden, unexpected embrace. Truthfully, I think I was trying to convince myself that I didn’t need it. That I could handle the grief on my own. That I didn’t enjoy the feel of his hard, coiled arms around me.

Of course, that lasted all of three seconds before I all but collapsed into him. My own arms wound tightly around his waist and I buried my face into his shoulder. We stood together like that for a while, tightly holding one another, until I sensed the room beginning to darken. The sun was setting beneath the rooftops across the road, casting a long shadow into the windows of my apartment building.

With a sniffle, I allowed my arms to unwind from around him and stepped back. Neither of us made eye contact as we separated, each making some kind of excuse not to look at one another. I turned back toward the bookshelf, making a half-hearted remark about bringing the moonshine back to the prison, whilst he lifted a hand and awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck, declaring he’d go downstairs to start the car.

I tried not to let myself focus on his lingering scent after he’d left the room. Tried to pretend that each time I thought back to that moment, my heart didn’t try to leap out of my chest.

Blowing out a long breath, I bent down and lifted the box of moonshine. Whilst walking past my own apartment, I paused and glanced at the door. Did I dare?

No. No way. I’d had much too many emotional moments today. I didn’t doubt another one would just push my already unstable mind that one step too far.

True to his word, Daryl was waiting for me by the front gate with a running car. I loaded the moonshine into the trunk and slammed it shut before climbing wordlessly into the passenger side.

When Daryl was securely in the driver’s seat, he turned his head to glance at me. “Ready?” he asked.

I shook my head, glancing into the side mirror with a frown. “Not really.”

Daryl waited for my go ahead. It took me a second to mentally say my goodbyes to the place before I turned to look at him with a sad smile.

“Alright. Get me the fuck out of here.”

8 notes · View notes

thewingedwolf · 2 years

Text

1. The pure ELATION of Rick, Carl, Sasha, and Daryl at seeing Judith, Tyreese, and Carol again is so sweet

2. The way Eugene stares obviously and openly at the reunion and specifically at Judith feels like for the first time he’s really thinking about what happens to the people in this group if one of them is sacrificed to save him when that group now includes a literal BABY and that baby’s father and brother.

3. The cool off from “none of them get to survivor” wearing his murder coat Rick immediately into Rick letting Tara know that she is part of the group with no conditions because Rick is fully willing to trust people once he has a good reason. And it’s the same with Carol recognizing Rick’s watch, Daryl’s bow, and then easily forgiving Rick us also very good. It’s these little moments that show us they’re a family that made the show so engaging, and the loss of them was what finally killed it for good I think.

#L I K E #Eugene is initially very fascinating to me #I’m too I to this show aksjdjd I hate myself #rani liveblogs the walking dead

0 notes

carlgrimeschandlerriggsimagines · 6 years

Text

I’m sorry he is gone..(EnidxCarl grimes)

Word count:1644

Carnid One shot for you!

Warnings: Death, Sadness, Cursing, Fluff

Wishlist

Masterlist

The gates of hilltop opened Clyde and Jason standing at the top, as usual, taking gaurd Araon drove through the gates and drove up the hill and parked behind the barington house I got out of the car I notice a new grave next to Abraham’s and Glenn’s I shrugged it off and I ran over to the trailer I opened the door shocked when I saw Rick,Michonne,Daryl,Judith,Maggie and Jesus “Hey”I say Maggie pulls me in for a tight hug “Are you ok are you hurt!?”She asks worriedly “I’m ok I’m fine.”I say a smile on my face I glance behind her to see Carl’s hat on the table “Where’s Carl?”I ask Rick he looks down my smile turns into a frown when I realize..That grave was his My legs begin to weaken but Maggie holds me up tears form in my eyes “No..No..No You’re lying no!”I cry out Michonne stands up and walks to me pulls me into a hug and cradles my head “It’s ok It’s ok” She soothes I let my tears fall “You’re lying...You’re lying”I cry She pulls me closer Rick has tears in his eyes that he wipes away Jesus hugs Maggie as she sees me cry..I’ve lost one the boy I’ve ever loved Michonne helps me to Maggie’s bed “Shhh its ok its ok let it out”Michonne says Then I feel a wet towel on my head Michonne cleans the walker blood from my forehead “It’s gonna be ok I promise everything will be ok”She soothes “Let’s get you in the house we can talk”She says gently she helps me up and walks me to the door “Let’s get you cleaned up and get you some rest”She says she guides me to the house passing Araon he gives me a sympathetic look we walk into the house and she guides me upstairs and into a bedroom a crib lays in the corner with multiple duffle bags all over the place she sits me on the bed she sits next to me “It’s gonna be ok” She soothes “I’ve lost everything”I cry quietly She sighs “Let’s go back in forth ok we share who we’ve lost one at a time”She says gently I nod slowly “You wanna go first?”She asks gently I nod slowly “My Mom”I say quietly “My boyfriend Mike”She says “My Dad”I reply “My son”She says I look up at her at her words “Jessie”I say quietly “A man named Hershel”She says “Sam”I say “A woman named Andrea”She says “Ron”I say “A Man named Tyreese”She says “Glenn”I say “Glenn” She says “Abraham” She says “Olivia” I say “Sasha” She says “Sasha” I say “Last one on the count of three..1..2..3″She says “Carl” We both say in unison “Who did you live with back at alexandria?”She asks “Olivia”I say quietly She pulls me in for another hug “Carl told me that he loves you”She says I let out another sob “I love him too”I say “I wasn’t there when he needed me”I cry she strokes my hair lightly “Why don’t you go get in shower get cleaned up”She says I nod

1 hour later

After I get in the shower, I wrap myself in a towel and I walk back into the room new clothes and new shoes are lying on the bed, my knife and gun missing I sigh and I change and put on my shoes I walk outside the cold air, sending shivers down my spine I walk back into the trailer Maggie, Rick, Michonne, Jesus, Aaron and Judith Eating dinner Gracie in her crib in the corner “How ya feeling?”Rick asks I just sit down and I put some meat on my plate “I made your favorite”Maggie says “Thanks” I mumble I eat my food slowly taking more bites than usual “Tomorrow Daryl and I are gonna go search for supplies head home to try and scavage anything”Rick says “Can I come?”I ask Rick gives maggie a look and she nods “Alright”Rick says “I’m gonna need my gun back”I say “You can have your knife back tomorrow”He says I roll my eyes “Ok I’ll just wait around for you to get me killed”I say as I put another piece of meat on my fork I put it in my mouth and chew it slowly Judith climbs out of Rick’s lap and walks over to me “Eny”She babbles I pick her up and I place her on my lap she wraps her arms around my neck and hugs me I kiss her head Rick smiles “Why don’t you sleep you sleep in the house Enid”Maggie says I nod “Ok” I say

After dinner

I pull the comforter back and I climb in I hear a knock at the door “Come in”I say Rick opens the door holding Judith “Look, there she is”Rick says Judith giggle reaching for me “She wanted you”He says and chuckles..How? How is he acting like nothing has happened..I can barely crack a smile and he is laughing...How does he do it? Judith crawls on my bed to me throwing her arms around me “She can sleep in here with me if you want”I say “You sure?”Rick asks I nod “Yeah, Won’t be a problem”I say “Ok I’ll wake up at around 7:30 tomorrow we are gonna leave at 8:30″He says “Ok”I say He stands kisses both of our heads and walks out of the room “Come on Judy lets go Night night”I say she giggles and flops down on the bed next to me I lay down and I turn off the lamp I close my eyes and fall into a nightmare filled sleep

The Next day

We pull up to the broken gates of Alexandria the smoke is still clearing We get out of the car “Enid and I will go check the Left side you go the Right”Rick says Daryl nods I follow Rick to the Left side of Alexandria, which so happens to be where Rick house was Rick’s house is in perfect condition except for a broken window I walk inside looking at everything there is a mess on the floor and the table looks like hell I slowly walk up the stairs Having my knife ready in case of any walkers I walk into a room I think its Rick and Michonnes room Their is a picture on the dresser of Carl and Judith I smile I grab the pictures and I stuff it in my backpack knowing Judith will want to Remeber Her brother I walk over to the nightstand seeing a box I quickly turn around when I read the first letter which was C I walked out of the room quickly not wanting that image in my head I walk into a another room My knees weaken when I remember its Carl’s Tears form in my eyes I walk around his room when I pass his bookshelf Suddenly A light shined in my eye from the corner I turn towards it to see a metal object between a piece of paper I slowly walk to it and I pick it up a necklace falling out of it I unfold the paper and it reads

Dear Enid,

If you are reading this I love you. I love you so much no words can explain it, I love your beautiful eyes and Your smile your bravery and Laugh. Yes, I am dead I, tried I really did, but walkers suck don’t they. Take care of Judith and my hat don’t forget about me and I found you a necklace while on a run I’m sorry I can’t give it to you in person I’m sorta..You know. Anyways, when I saw it, I thought of you because, well it’s Beautiful just like you I couldn’t find a picture of you to put in it, but I did find a flower petal..But I lost it..Sorry. Hopefully Maggie can take a picture of you, oh and take care of her baby. Tell Judith about me and Remeber Just Survive Somehow.

Love,

Carl

Ps I love you to the end of the milky way and back

My tears fall as I am finishing reading the note I slowly reach down and pick up the necklace is a heart locket with a Ring on the chain as well, I smile Then suddenly something touches my shoulder and snarls I scream and I turn around A Walker! I drop the locket and grab its neck it pushes against the wall trying to bite me I let out a scream as The walker gets closer and closer than before its teeth make it to my neck A arrow goes through its head it falls to the ground dead along with me in pure panic I sob uncontrollably on the floor Daryl kneels down next to me “It’s ok Enid It’s alright”He says He straps his crossbow to his back and picks me up bridal style grabbing the locket and note he walks out of the house with me and down the streets as I sob I sob about everything Carl,Glenn,My parents the war and, Olivia Daryl carries me to the car and places me in it he hands me the note and the locket Rick is walking back with a bag of stuff he puts it in the back seat and gets in the driver’s seat Daryl gets on his Motercycle and drives away Rick starts the car and follows “You alright?”Rick asks I wipe my tears away “I’m fine” I say

Back at hilltop

I walk into my bedroom holding Carl’s hat I place it on my bed, I take my hair out of the ponytail and I grab the hat and look in the mirror, I slowly place the hat on slowly I run my fingers tips over the gold rope and I fix my hair and I walk out of the room and I walk outside A crowd of people outside holding guns and weapons Rick and michonne smile at me Rick then Announces

“Let go win this war!”

14 notes · View notes

ikkleosu · 7 years

Text

Why TWD makes shipping so hard

There’s been a lot of discussion in the fandom about why Caryl is only ever going to be platonic, with people using evidence from the screen (as well as interviews) both recently and for eternity. Obviously those of us who disagree feel differently and feel we can point to evidence in the screen. BUT in essence, those who only see Caryl interactions as platonic are right - until this point they have been (strictly speaking, although there is of course room for interpretation, and that is where the problem lies).

However, something that is missed by a lot of people is the pattern of how TWD writes relationships that DO go romantic, before they do.

It has been noted by critics and fans alike that relationships on the show seem to come out of the blue, either becuase the characters have never interacted until the episode they get together (Tara and Denise), or because their previous interactions gave little to NO clue to them being potentially romantic.

The show simply does not focus on romantic hints. There is plenty of romantic focus once couples are together, but they don’t spend time on the lead up to consummation (emotional or physical).

(putting a break in cos this got LONG and includes discussion of other ships on the show, including Rick and Michonne, Carol and Tobin and Carol and Ezekiel - if those are things you want to avoid, don’t click)

All my life, I’ve been obsessed with slow-burn TV relationships and have literally studied them (been writing metas on them since I was 11, before I knew what a meta was!). Although they all vary, most of them have the same tropes that show the audience one or both characters have romantic feelings for the other.

There is usually obvious longing looks, awkward moments, near misses, confessions to third parties, jealousy, and clear, signalled reactions. TWD doesn’t do those in any overt way.

Sure, we can interpret a look as longing, or a moment as having sexual tension - but NO relationship (since Gimple took over, anyway) has had moments that are undeniable in those before they get together.

A lot of the evidence about Caryl being only platonic comes from the lack of these scenes, or these scenes being unequivocally romantic. And they are right, but what they fail to note is that Michonne and Rick ALSO lacked these scenes before they got together.

Where was there awkward touching (before the cough hand hold)? Where was there sexual tension that caused blushes and looks away? Where was the times they almost kissed, almost said too much, almost confessed their feelings? Where was Michonne’s jealousy over Jessie?

The last one is one that’s used repeatedly against romantic caryl - Daryl wasn’t jealous that Carol had a relationship with Tobin. However, when Rick was pursuing Jessie (no matter how long their relationship lasted, or what it contained, Rick was actively pursuing another relationship while Michonne was by his side and available) we saw no reaction from Michonne.

Specifically, we weren’t ALLOWED any reaction at all. In both cases, the writers kept Michonne and Daryl out of the story and they never discussed the situation with Rick and Carol.

And that’s what I mean about the writing. They actively avoid exploring the characters romantic emotions in ANY way prior to them getting together. They refuse to give any strong hints, beyond a friendship.

Even in the example of Carol and Tobin. That relationship came completely out of the blue for every viewer. They interacted once (in a way that was Tobin being flirty, admittedly) and then didn’t interact for an ENTIRE season, before interacting and getting together in a single episode.

In any other show, hints would have been dropped. We might have seen them directly interact in JSS as Carol fought the wolves and Tobin followed her lead, or seen Tobin talk to Rick or Maggie about how amazing Carol was with the Wolves, in Now. Or seen when Tobin rushes out to join the fight against the herd in No Way Out, that he is drawn to Carol’s side and is seen staying with her as they wait for news of Carl. ALL of these things would have been subtle hints for what was to come, but we get nothing.

It’s why platonic Carylers saying Carol and Daryl didn’t interact for an entire season pointless. Neither did Carol and Tobin, yet they were together in an episode.

And even when the characters DO cross a line into romance, it is often written in a way to be vague and open to interpretation. Bob and Sasha’s first kiss made it seem Sasha wasn’t that interested, yet next time we see them they are a couple. Denise’s kiss to Tara could have been simply a bold move that didn’t go beyond a friendship, yet next time we see them they are clearly living together (as were Carol and Tobin). Even Abe and Sasha which is clearly a MAJOR relationship that has ramifications throughout this season, we saw Abe expressing interest and Sasha seemingly non committal before she finally invites him into her house - we never even saw them kiss!

It’s no wonder viewers find it hard to figure out what’s going to remain platonic and what’s going to turn romantic - viewers even felt the Michonne and Rick getting together came out of the blue. Again because we saw neither one in any way express that desire obviously, and Rick had sought out another woman while Michonne was available. And this is most likely the pivotal relationship on the show!

This obliqueness doesn’t just explain why people find it hard to believe platonic friendships will turn romantic, it also has the opposite effect of people thinking ANY interaction MUST be leading to a romance.

Due to the cues being so hard to read, people can see the smallest instances of proof that a relationship must be heading in that direction.

Take the current ship of Daryl and Rosita, for example. Shippers believe that due to Daryl and Rosita suddenly being pair for Twice as Far, Rosita going to find Daryl in East and agreeing with him, and Daryl reacting to Negan when he taunts Rosita, that it MUST mean they are heading for a romance. Why else put them together in these scenes?

Yet, if we cast our minds back to the start of season 4, we learned that Daryl and Michonne had been spending a lot of time together alone searching for the Governor. We see Michonne volunteer to go with Daryl to the Big Spot. We see flirtatious, bantery scenes between them in multiple episodes, leading to some opening up and emotional talk in the car. Looking at all that evidence, fans could (and did) say, well clearly they are heading towards romance. And yet.... nothing.

The writers have a habit of building up relationships quickly and suddenly, to suit a particular purpose, and then abandoning them when it’s no longer needed for the story. And it is VERY hard to spot the difference between those relationships and the ones that any episode now will suddenly become romantic.

Even looking at the comic source material is no guarantee. Fans who believe Carol and Ezekiel are absolutely, definitely getting together romantically are basing a lot of that belief on their view that Carol is taking Michonne’s comic relationship with Ezekiel. And that’s understandable given the comic text used on screen. Yet, it’s clear TV Michonne is STILL taking some of her comic storylines, but very few people who shipped them together ever assumed her relationship with Rick would mirror that with the comic versions of the characters, and remain purely platonic. Even when Sasha taking on so many of Andrea’s comic stories, they never thought she would be the one to get romantic with Rick.

The point is, we are all biased in the reading of the cues. Those who want Carol and Ezekiel to get together assume the parallels with the comic mean it WILl happen, ignoring the fact Carol has had Michonne’s comic relationships with Tyreese and Morgan - but without the romance, becuase they WANT to ignore it.

For me, as a caryl shipper I have reasons I believe that their relationship will not remain platonic. However, I acknowledge there is always a possibility that it will, DUE to the way this show is written.

I just wish the non-shippers could look at the same situation and acknowledge while they believe it won’t go romantic, there is NOTHING in the writing of Caryl that shows it can be ruled out - not based on the previous writing of relationships on the show, anyway.

#caryl #twd shipping #no spoilers #shipping

123 notes · View notes