#ty for tagging me darling 💕 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jikjinz · 10 months

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[YOU GOT ME STARIN' LIKE A FOOL!]

requested? yes, for anon! 5, 18, 22 with Dobby pls 😽💕

❝stop staring.❞ ❝i can't, you're so pretty like this❞ ❝i can't help it, darling. i just want you so bad❞ ❝i will make you feel so good angel, trust me❞

from this list !

TAGS/WARNINGS: k.doyoung x fem!reader; kinda dom!reader and kinda sub!doyoung; tying up (doyoung), praise, attempts at dirty talk ig, edging??? grinding, mention of lingerie, unprotected sex (dont be silly wrap yo willy or get ready to be stomped on), lmk if something should be added

891 words yall better be ready

a/n: the fact i wrote this in like an hour with few smol breaks only shows how down bad i am for this fool, especially after t5 and move mv. also if there are mistakes yall just pretend that they don't exist. it's liek 1:30am, instead of exist i almost typed axist and i really couldn't have cared less about anything rn. peace out

the view before you was breathtaking. you could stare at it for hours. unfortunately, the main character of the beautiful view was extremely impatient, wiggling and squirming under your stare, too flustered to say anything.

“stop staring!”

“i can’t! you’re so pretty like this.”

doyoung only whimpered at your words, his breath stuck in his throat when you got closer to the bed. dear heavens, he wanted to touch so much.

yes, it was his idea. it was his own mind that came up with such torture for him. wanting to try something new, doyoung suggested tying his hands to the headboard of the bed. it wasn’t the first time you took control over the situation, though it was the first time you could take your time with him, tease him, and enjoy the prettiest view you ever seen.

doyoung liked to be in control, or more like, liked to feel your body, your reactions, in general feeling you. sometimes it was hard for him to believe someone so precious loved him back. the thought of you, being in love with him, always made him go a bit dumb. and the fact that you were real, that you were under him, naked, in his bed just seemed like a fever dream. yet it was all real.

until now, where he could only look at your beautiful body, wrapped up in a cute lingerie, without the ability to touch your skin, to feel the weight of your body in his hands. but the mere sight of your heart eyes stuck on him, your mouth practically salivating at the sight of his naked body, and the way you pressed your thighs together at the slightest whimper he made… it all made him even more dumb.

“you look so- scrumptious right now.”

to say you were in awe would be a major understatement. you could stare at him like that for hours, he was just so- ugh! beautiful, gorgeous, stunning! and all of it only for you! and if you weren’t so needy for him, you probably would just stare at him for a whole day if not more.

sitting on the edge of the bed, you ran your hand through his messy hair, then cupping his face as you placed a loving kiss on his lips. his doe eyes, stuck on you and on you only, looked at you with that dreamy stare, the one you loved to see and the one playing with your heart, pride, and feelings.

“i love you, so- so much,” you started, caressing his biceps lightly as you finally straddled him, your ass so close his length it made him gasp for a sec. “and i want you so, so, so- much as well.”

doyoung was about to lose his mind. he wanted to scream, to break out, to finally fuck you properly, but shit, this stuff you did was addicting. he loved that, but if he had to wait even more, he would go crazy.

“doyoung, you are so impatient!” with a chuckle, you tapped his chest with your fingers as some kind of warning. though in reality, you were about to go insane any minute as well.

“i- i can’t help it, darling. i just- i just want you so bad- ah!”

you were a menace. a big one. doyoung was about to get off only by grinding your plushy ass, and yet you destroyed that!!! as you got up from him, doyoung whined, tears slowly forming in his eyes but when he noticed how hastily you’re taking off the lingerie (thankfully it didn’t have fancy clips), he smiled so brightly, like a sun after rain, reflecting in the puddles and wet leaves.

“i’ll make you feel so good, angel, trust me, but please, please, pleasepleaseplease just-”

the groan he let out at the end of the sentence was so hot your brain malfunctioned. and the fact that you were the cause of this heavenly sound got your mind run laps. so big laps that your pussy clenched around his length on its own, while your mind spiraled down and replayed that beautiful sound.

“fuck- angel you’re so- fuck, fuck! ah, shit-” that was all doyoung could say. his mind fogged with overwhelming pleasure, sudden yet so comforting tightness of your gummy walls had him choke on his words, moans, groans and the most beautiful sounds you ever heard.

you babbled nonsense, as your focus went only to the way his dick felt inside you. bucking your hips, bouncing up and down, it all was so… much.

“doyoung-! doyoung, i’m close, ah- fuck!” you were on fire but something was missing. somehow, the flame missed its match, which in this case was doyoung’s touch and his hand all over your body. as you hips met his half-way, your wobbly and slowly weakening hands clumsily managed to untie his.

the moment he touched you, the moment he touched your heated body, it was over you. as you screamed, moaned, and gushed over his length, doyoung only held you closer. as you chased after the last bits of that blissful moment, his lips managed to clasp with yours, ready to swallow every moan and whimper you made while he made sure to paint and mark your insides with his seed.

“we have to do this more often, darling.”

#fics: treasure #fics: doyoung #treasure doyoung #treasure #treasure smut #doyoung treasure #yg treasure #treasure kpop #kim doyoung #doyoung

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tortoisebore · 6 months

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sunday snippet

ty for the tag @spookymoonie 💞💖💕💓💗(haha 😀 ha ur snippet excuse me 😀….,,fucking excuse me? 😀)

here’s some first draft ch. 9! 🕺 (ik the dialogue is clunky it’s first draft cut me some slack fhdhdhddhd)

They sat in silence for another few moments before Sirius retreated from his burrow, wiggling back just enough to watch his own thumb circle at the dip of Remus’ cheek, right below where the thin white scar bled back into his skin.

“You were a hit,” he said quietly, softly, close to tears with the sheer amount of superhuman strength it was currently taking to keep that monster of feelings in his chest contained.

Remus’ eyes fluttered open and he rolled his head to the side, his features so soft and warm in the lamplight of Sirius’ room that his stomach did an appreciative little twirl. “You think so?”

“I know so.”

“You were right, they’re really great.”

“I told you!”

“I know you did.”

“You really should start listening to me, darling—I’ve never been wrong.”

“I expected your brother to be a lot worse, though,” Remus raised, fixing him with a pointed look. “You had me prepared for a civil war, Sirius. He was perfectly pleasant.”

“He’s an evil little shit, trust me,” he urged. “He’s only tolerable when he wants to be.”

“I talked to him quite a lot, actually.”

Sirius frowned. “About what?”

“He said something about football?”

“Oh my god—”

#tag game!!!#hey sharpshooter #also SURPRISE ch 9 is going to be only sirius pov #ch 10 will be remus pov #also all the songs are different #i lied several times #but on the bright side now there’s more lana on the playlist 😈😈😈

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randomratty · 7 months

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All of em ty hon ^^

Redoing this

Asshole🥰/j

1. What’s your favorite tickle tool?

I don’t have a favourite <3 because it depends.

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2. Favorite Ler? (Tag them if you dare~) I’ll do the ones that HAD flustered me before and Not A Word 🔫

@ashwasfound @witchyroman @flufflover7

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3. Favorite Lee? (Tag them to call them out~)

@angryxxsigh @ashwasfound @jinleebelee @itsbarnaby @wally-darlings-stuff @flufflover7 @aohzz and etc

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4. Opinion on blindfolds/restraints? Why or why not?

no just no

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5. A spot that gets you squealing?

Don’t know<3 maybe some Day I’ll know

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6. How long do you estimate you could last before calling mercy?

Depends on the person?

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7. Ever have tickle fantasies?

yEs

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8. Why did you make your tickle blog?

It wasn’t a tickle Blog, until I felt comfortable by posting some tk stuff, so now I’ma. Tickle Blog/roleplay Blog acc And normal Blog all on this blog i also Do have two roleplay Blog accs

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9. Does anyone irl know of your interests?

Nope, I have told anyone in Person

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10. Can you say the t-word?

At times-

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11. Verbal teases, yes or no and why?

yes- and I aint saying🥰

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12. Upper body tickles or lower body tickles?

Both??

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13. Neck or ear tickles?

I guess neck 😺

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14. Pinned on your back, or your stomach?

I Dont know, depends on The Person again because i dont like a lot of people touching my back ever since my surgery so it’ll depend

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15. What do you love about the lees you know?

The laughter, How they get flustered💕

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16. What do you love about the lers you know?

The teasing ajsjwj And they are awesome People And etc

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17. Feathers or Paint Brushes?

I guess-? Feathers-?

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18. How long have you known about your interests in the community?

A year

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19. What’s your favorite way to be tickled? (As in provoked, teased into asking, etc.)

It’s Generally rare if I get tickled. It’s not often but possibly provoked-

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20. Are you/Do you like Polite Lees or Bratty Lees? (Asking for tickles vs Pissing someone off for tickles)

Both and idm both

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I wasnt rlly surr what to put-

#IM SKRRY for the tagging awjajs #rahh

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mrsdanirojas · 2 years

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Okay I know this was a while ago but still, ty for the tag @mdcclvi 💕

>Here’s an update from meeee:

favorite color — still lime green *swoons*

currently reading — picked up Interview with the Vampire some time ago to re-read it, & still need to finish it ❤️

last song — *nervous laughter* If you guess what band, I will do literally whatever you ask of me. Could be a kiss with tongue. Could be letting you steal my identity and my debit card,, (Lush. It’s Lush. I’ve been stuck on their album for two+ months now.)

sweet/savory/spicy — I’m the biggest slut for anything spicy 😌

last show — finally getting to watch The Sandman; it’s as great as everyone says ✨

currently working on — getting some rest! I have some fic drafts (and so much brainrot ahdjskl) and silly gif ideas, but haven’t been getting enough sleep to properly work on anything 💔

tagging but no pressure as always 💕 @xthescarletbitch @the-sera @its-deputy-caleb @misfit-lunitic @bigboobslilheart @millennial-sappho @alcinas-darling @ratisshortforratalia

#did I have to be this unhinged in my answers? No #ty for the tag <3 #tagged #you could say I used the strikeout text on the wrong portion but rest assured this is what I meant #unhinged hours

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frogchiro · 2 years

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Hi! Came by to say that i absolutely adore the way you write pierro and capitano, lovely hubbies with lovely partners!

Gotta love the big, silent, brooding bois XD

But also, your style is very cute 🥺 and quite descriptive, personally i love ur drabbles (is that the word?) The most, short and cute and omg they make me melt and quite frankly squeal lol

So! Thank you for sharing with us the best husbands on genshin! Its quite the refreshing take after sobbing 😭 for hours when surfing their tags on this site, too much sadistic/yandere/jerk interpretations and shady smut, having ONE take on them being clingy partners is nice 🙂 ty.

Sorry to ramble, have a nice day! Snd don't forget to sleep early, take any meds and drink water!

You got me blushing and kickin' my feet darling😭💕

thank you for all the compliments! this ask literally made my day earlier and i've been rereading it since morning🙈

and i'm really glad you like my writing so much! as i've propably mentioned it earlier i have always been a bit self concious about it being stiff and unnatural since english is not my first language so it makes my heart melt when ppl say thing like this💕

also yes, i live for spreading love among others for the big broody lovely fatui husbands! although i have to admit, sometimes i love to indulge into the darker and more 'taboo' content i don't really feel like i'd be good at writing it y'know? like i respect others who do it, they have god like powers, but i'm just gonna stick to my silly little 'more fluffy' style😭

i know that my writing may make the characters ooc but what can i say, it do be like that🗿

#kin speaks #interactions #ask #once more thank you love for the kind words💕#and have a nice day/night too!!

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seo-changbinnies · 2 years

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happiest bday to the very first person who made me feel (extra) comfy in being part of our stayblr, and the only person who was able to make me smile when some things were very meh last year, through ur tags ur content and overall ur presence ❤💐 marie darling i love u soso much, i could (will) write a billion books abt u 💙☁ ty for being the sweetest person i know, happiest happiest marie day 💌💕🍃 (might be bc of both bin and mark but i always thought u were a leo too hehe 💙 ilu)

jen .. lovely jen … i know i am always in for a lovely heart melting doozy whenever i get any kind of message from you bc you have such a good way with words and always make me feel so loved 🥺💖

thank you so much bb <3 you’re such a sweet friend and knowing i could make you smile and enjoy stayblr makes me sooo happy bc you’re such a lovely presence on MY dash ! i hope you’re having a good day and you can feel my big virtual hug !!!!! 💙💙💙💙💙💙

#hehe idk why i love leos (derogatory) but yeahh i’m a gemini (even more derogatory)#asks #jen 🌙

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knightfeared · 2 years

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What are you made of?

*Wood & Leather.

You are sturdy. You keep yourself in order, & you believe the world should follow suit. You are stubborn & strong, & people look up to you for it. Leaders like you deserve to be fostered with love, & it is probable that you were given enough to flourish, but not enough to believe in it yourself. You are distrusting, though perhaps once upon a time you trusted too easily. You build walls high, & plaster concrete over your doors. When people knock, it can take you months, or even years to answer. I know it can be hard, darling, but please learn to step outside those walls, even if in armour. You will be hurt, & you will be loved, & it is part of the beautiful whirlwind that is life. You can always retreat later. I'm proud of you.

*TAGGED BY. @darckcarnival ( ty sm 🥺💕)

*TAGGING. ANYONE WHO WANT TO NAB THIS FROM ME.

#◆ ━━ Dashgames #Muse: [ Thanatos ]#/ SKDKSOSOSO #/ kind of accurate but #/ huh

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ravixen · 2 years

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amg I really love that youtuber au 😭 I recently became a baby Carat and stumbled on it while going through multiple fic recs and enjoyed your writing style so much 🥺

also!! I didn’t realize the bullet point list for Shua and Dokyeomie have such a gap? 😳 I thought they would be like a few years apart. You can really tell the development in the writing when you compare them 😂 I really love how you wrote Seokmin’s like he’s my 2nd svt bias so my heart literally melted and turned into goo from how cute you portrayed him (in every fic too like amg ty for letting my seokmin loving hours grow!)

like tbh idk how to even form thoughts bc I don’t think there’s actually thoughts that can form a very coherent description of how I felt while reading Seokmin’s au 😭

it was like (cw// description of food!) — you know when something fluffy and sweet melts in your mouth? not like cotton candy because it’s kinda rough from the sugar particles but like idk let’s say pancakes but they melt into a soft texture in your mouth? and it leaves you with this softness and tender warmth in your mouth? 🥺💖 you wrote him like that and it makes me feel so sbdbsjdd that I probs have sprouted tiny wings that flapped so hard from how cute it was.

tl;dr — Seokmin’s was so cute and sweet it was like he’s the angel himself and y/n happens to be his human angel. THAT MAN IS SO SOFT LIKE HE’S SUCH A GOOF BUT IT WAS THE ✨ I M A G E R Y ✨ OF HIM GOING SOFT HOURS FOR HIS ANGEL GRIPPING MY BARS 😭💖

and amg for Jisoo’s (I’m so sorry this ask is so long 🤡) 😭😭😭 I would consume any Jisoo content! Like he is 😔💖 the loml atm 😔💖✨⭐️❤️‍🔥 sunday darling rain is fallin man vibes whoo-hoo~ 💓❣️💗💕💖💘💓💘💞💖❤️‍🩹💝 I would go through many lifetimes fics with him. So when I read— amg I think I read the double texting first? and then I saw there was a Youtuber au for Shua and immediately went YES.

When I read his I was bopping bc amg yes my boy! would be like those 2013—2016 cover artists on YT like he gives me those vibes 🥺 also it didn’t help that I was so obsessed with covertube back in the day I followed Alex Goot and his friends and listened to their covers often and the plot of bumping into each other at a wedding and becoming his guitar student is so cute too? like idk idk I’m probably just whipped for a one Joshua Hong but goodness! I would go to guitar for him! 🥺 I can see this becoming a short film 😭 like those cornetto shorts or webseries on YT hahaha!

then after that, I went through the rest of your Youtuber AU (and your masterlist 😭 can I just say the fight and the taking off promise ring hurt me so bad? like amg 🥺) — and had to grip my heart over them 😭 Jihooney’s made me smile like mad and Cheol’s was so cute too brb crying 😭 and Hoshi horang’s was so funny like the whole my fave youtuber is my new neighbor now like it was so romcom-esque I felt like this entire tag treated my rom-com loving self so well 😭💓

👉🏻👈🏻 amg if you see me in your notifs I’m perhaps going through your masterlist bc I enjoy reading your fics so much 😭 I can’t speak for every single one or else this ask might get way too long than how it already is but I really really enjoy them 🥺💖 especially the bullet point fics 😂 thank you for sharing so much of them with us 💖💖 and it makes me love Seventeen even more ☺️✨

i read your message multiple times as soon as i got it, and it actually made me get out of bed at a reasonable time so that i can reply haha thank you so much for your excitement!! reblogs/fic recs are so, so, so important for this reason. likes are nice, but reblogs help so much more. the fact that you saw a 2016 story of mine in 2022 is proof of that! i started my youtuber!aus in 2015, and they hold a special place in my heart.

honestly, i've been feeling kind of down about my writing lately, but getting affirmations like these - and the kind words you put in the reblogs - makes my week. yes, at the end of the day, i'm writing mostly for myself and my satisfaction, but because so many of my posts these days are (free) requests, it makes me sad when it seems like they're not enough, y'know? thank you so much for your reblogs and enjoy reading through the rest of my posts!! there's a lot haha

#katalk #fabulaee.reply #mutuals #chia!!

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arminsumi · 11 months

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hello sumi!! i'm a big fan of your blog and content❤️ this is a bit off-topic but as a new writer on tumblr i don't know things very well here so i wanted to ask if you have noticed tumblr's engagement dropping a bit these days? i've posted some content in tags for a while and been receiving good interactions and notes but just recently not so much or overall very slow traction, just wanted to ask if this is normal/maybe its just the day of the week and if you have been experiencing it🥲 just seeking for a bit of comfort really😅❤️

Aw hi darling 💕ty so much for your message, and welcome to the writing community. it's lovely to have you!!

honestly, i don't pay as much attention to engagement as i probably should 👀i took a short break so i'm assessing the climate and just continuing working on my drafts and requests.

enjoy writing what you're writing, don't let poor engagement deter or dishearten you!! put your work out there and be persistent, especially since you're new to tumblr. be proud of what you've made and respect yourself as a creator – not everyone has the courage to post their works!

and take your time learning. it took me some time to understand that writing on tumblr is a bit different, i came from wattpad where i just wrote and published, i had no idea about things like content warnings. i learned mostly from observing how other writers did things.

also, you never know how greatly you're impacting your readers until much later on, when wonderful people like yourself send messages to tell you that they enjoy your content.

just keep going and try out many different things until you find what works!

you will find your footing eventually, i have faith in you 😌

#˗ˏˋ꒰ 💌 ꒱ jay's mail #keep well!#btw love the sumi nickname hehe

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cinderellaswife · 1 year

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I posted 384 times in 2022

7 posts created (2%)

377 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@rebeccaselfships

@wooloo-selfship

@cinderrellas

@candyheartedchy

I tagged 96 of my posts in 2022

#cindy - 31 posts

#leels - 20 posts

#mal - 10 posts

#cass - 9 posts

#asks - 4 posts

#🥺 - 3 posts

#😳 - 2 posts

#art - 2 posts

#ty - 2 posts

#absolutely - 1 post

Longest Tag: 54 characters

#would my f/os still love me if i told them i'm ace? 🥺

My Top Posts in 2022:

the way my heart flutters from just seeing Cindy 🥺💕

1 note - Posted August 15, 2022

It seems you’ve got a letter! Now, let’s see who it’s from…

(@selfashipworkshop - For the letter exchange!)

I would love to darling! how about both? we can have a picnic tomorrow and see a play in the evening. see you soon dearest! 💕

(this is the sweetest thing ever! thank you! 🥺)

1 note - Posted February 14, 2022

Do you plan on posting some info for the event? Bc if not then I might have something for u like rn

hmm no I don't have any specifics except that I don't like nsfw stuff. but I'll appreciate anything you send my way! ☺️

1 note - Posted February 2, 2022

omg ur f/o list literally made me gasp in excitement u have such good taste!!! cass, dom, cinderella, and tyr'ahnee in particular are some of my all time favorite characters and it's so cool to see someone shipping with them!!

thank you so much!! 😭 I love my babies and I just wanna give them everything they deserve 💛💛💛

2 notes - Posted May 16, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

my sona! 💜

7 notes - Posted February 15, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review

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leejungchans · 2 years

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www amg Sol you’re so sweet I swear 😔💖 if I have more thoughts I’ll drop by here again bc sebongs living in my mind two-four-seven. they took up permanent residence over the summer

also amg yeaaah!! student-idols svt was so fun 😭💖 bc I’d be turning corners and I somehow manage to catch at least 3 of them anywhere. There’s another one too where we were introduced via a mutual friend and my discord calls with Vernon, Hoshi, and Woozi sounded like a podcast

and amg!! I saw your tags on my feedback for piyw and np np! 🥺 it did the honor of being my first svt fic I read and it was such a fun ride. I have to re-read the Christmas!Seokmin one bc I think I fell asleep midway (I often use fics as my bedtime stories before falling asleep 😂 if tattoo artist!Jisoo makes his cameo in my dreams I’m running here) I know I’ll enjoy it lots bc 1.) it’s Seokmin— cutest boy who’s like the sun; can be warm but also lowkey hot af 🫣 and 2.) it’s Sol produced 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻 I’m super glad you really like the fanart still 🥺 boy had me in his grip I was just 👀💕💖💗 and I feel like writing 19k words was a workout 🥺 I really appreciate how you invested effort into writing it, I felt like going sjdndnd in the tags wasn’t enough I had to put thoughts into visual form!😤 just know the entire time I was screaming crying at the development of their relationship.

bc he’s so so soft underneath all that ‘let’s get your tattoos done, darling 😉 ’ like aaaaa excuse me, but if Hong Jisoo decided to take care of me while I am burrito’d in my blanket looking like I could be dusted at a mere flick of a finger I would let him let my heart shuaflies free from thy ribcage!! 😩 also that bit of Joshua getting y/n flowers was so cute but also so funny 😂😂 I found it so adorable! ty ty again for sharing wonderful writing with us all 🥺💕 you’re amazing!

— chia 💕

naurrrrr chia you are the sweetest ☹️☹️☹️💗💗💗 again i’m so so happy you enjoyed the fic hehe piyw!joshua really is the sweetest and most wholesome (and well 👀 flirty) ahdhajs 19k was indeed a workout but getting this kind of reaction/feedback makes it all worth it in my eyes and reminds me why i put myself through pain (affectionate) by writing long fics 😭🥹🥹

there were just so many details i wanted to fit in the fit so here’s one i wasn’t able to 🫶🏻: piyw!joshua baking sweet goods for the kids at the hospital to cheer them up, and whenever he visits reader to drop off some food he always stays longer to talk to the kids and also lets them colour in his tattoos w face paint like they’re a colouring book whdjwjs :’)))

#seok has been so 🥵🥵🥵🥵 to me ever since attacca especially JWJSJAJS #if u have heart shuaflies i have heart chanflies 🤧#chia 🐏💕#dalkyeom #moots <3 #sol answers

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seokmins · 2 years

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9, 10, 16 for the ask game pleeease 🥹💕

good morning btw 💖💖💖 have a good day!!! or night! whenever you see this !!

Hai, aether darling <3 ty have a good rest of your dayyyy <3 *mwah*

ASKS FOR KPOP MULTI CREATORS ✨

9) What is your biggest challenge when creating?

as of late it's definitely been the lack of motivation to do things w/ the limited amount of time and energy from working 😭 I think it's like that on a normal basis but i used to be on my computer all the time during the semester so it's a lil hard not to be able to gif right away when smth comes out :((((

10) What is most important to you when creating?

I think the most important thing to me is that ppl just enjoy what i create and maybe if it's a gfx/writing see what i am trying to convey or come up w/ some different viewpoint! i still really enjoy creating content and the stuff I'm working w/ so to see other ppl's tags - i read every reblog i get even if it's not my own work!

16) How do you decide what to work on?

fhsdkf considering 90% of my content is kyeom oriented i tend to gravitate to making content for him, especially if smth recent comes out. If there's smth that needs done by a deadline like a bday or event then i try to work on that before other things... not that I'm really good at doing that tho LOL

#ty for sending in an ask :((( ily <3 #aether 🥭#mangogyu #elv's answered games #elv's inbox #elv's mootz

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astriefer · 2 years

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For The Love We Lost

Summary: Modern AU. Alastair's life couldn't be better. He has a wealthy husband who loves him. A roof Above his head, warm food on the dinner table. He has everything he ever wished for, so why does it feel so miserable to be alive?

Words: 2953

A/N : Thank you sm @fatilightwood for helping me with this fic!! 💕

CW abusive relationship, Charles Fairchild, ask to tag.

Alastair crossed the living room with a rush, precisely in time to see his husband close the front door.

Instant relief and desperate rage bubbled at his chest as Charles Fairchild, his husband for 5 years, walked into the elegantly-decorated foyer of their house.

His eyes examined Alastair, green eyes moving up and down. The younger man repaid him with the same action.

Alastair shifted in his place, uneasy, as he kept his eyes on his lover. Nevertheless, The half-Persian's hand tightened around the tying of his pink robe, an attempt to conceal his quivering hands. Charles's gaze on him unsettled him, made him feel insecure. He decided to say the words now before he ran out of vexation and urgency.

"Are you drunk again?" Alastair asked, exasperated by his husband's behavior and not just a little weary of his attitude. Charles's hair was tousled, something very unusual for him. The red-haired man kept himself in a pristine look at all hours of the day, not a strand out of place.

Charles shot a glance at his husband, hanging his coat on a fog next to the door of their house. "Not a single greeting to your husband that came after a tiring day at work?" he inquired. His tone, even if polite, was familiar to Alastair. Accusing him, You should be a better husband, Alastair darling. You should try harder.

"No," Alastair said defiantly, glaring at the other man firmly. Charles merely raised an eyebrow. "Have you asked how was I doing when you entered this household just now?"

Charles snorted. He took his gloves off, ones Alastair bought for him last winter. It instantly made some of his anger fade away. In the back of his mind, even if he was cross with Charles, it was a testament Charles appreciated him and his effort. "You were at home, carefree. I came from outside. Is it so wrong to wish to be welcomed in my own house?"

"Are. You. Drunk." Alastair reiterated stubbornly, emphasizing every word. Charles didn't reek of alcohol, nor did his eyes seem dazed, but his disarrayed appearance seemed odd. Alastair felt a mix of suspicion and distress as he anticipated his lover's retort.

"No," Charles replied in a bleak voice. "I went to a club with my colleagues. We were dancing."

Even if Alastair knew Charles had no liking to dancing, It was a cogent enough excuse to believe. A part of Alastair was eased by the words. Charles knew very well he didn't like it when he got drunk. Logically, Alastair couldn't prevent Charles from drinking and was told so by Charles himself. Still, he was glad his husband respected his wishes and wouldn't return at 3 am utterly wasted.

He grabbed to the shreds of anger that hadn't melted yet. "Without notifying me."

Dark-red eyebrows raised on Charles's forehead at this. He walked to the living room, picking up the newspaper Alastair had left on the table. Alastair followed him, his hands twitching on the sides of his body. "That's none of your matter, Alastair." Charles opened the page talking about politics, how he always did, as he set down on their grand couch. He added, in a softer tone, "I'm here now. Isn't it enough?"

Alastair's resignation, which built over the course of the conversation, took place to a sulk.

Was it enough, truly? Because Alastair felt foolish to wait for Charles to come home and eat supper with him at the dinner table more than six hours ago. Because he had hankered to call Charles's friends and make sure he was safe, only he knew not a single friend of Charles. He was worried sick, and Charles didn't even ring to say he was okay.

Alastair pressed. "And you didn't consider, for a single moment, I would be upset? Angry, even?"

"You're always angry," Charles dismissed casually. He didn't take his eyes off the paper. Occasionally, Alastair believed his words weighted as much a cloud in his husband's eyes. Startled by this thought, Alastair surpassed it deep down into the ground each time it dared show its treacherous head. Charles had done so much for him, the least Alastair could do was be obedient and devoted.

"And you don't think it's a problem?"

"It's your problem, not mine." Charles's tone was laced with annoyance as if Alastair was a nagging child on the verge of throwing a tantrum. "I don't have the time nor strength to look after you the more than I already do."

"You are not considerate or saint for being a decent husband, Charles." Alastair breathed in. He was getting a headache from this conversation, that seemed to repeat itself more often than not.

The dark-eyed man married young, after a long-term relationship with Charles for 3 years. At that time, he was overjoyed from marrying the man he loves, he didn't notice the grip Charles tightened around his life.

It was small things, at the beginning. You should wear this, not that. Your sister can survive not meeting you one time. Alastair, love, where have you been? I started to get worried when you didn't pick up the phone.

Then it worsened before Alastair truly understood what he spiraled into. This man has eyes for you, I can tell. Do not speak to him. I'm sorry I threw away the drawing your sibling drew, don't put it where everyone can see next time, I had guests come over. I can't tend to everything you need every moment of my life, Alastair. Stop acting so childish.

But Alastair let him. After all, it was just a sign of how fierce Charles loved him, wasn't it? How the thought of him with another burned deep in his heart. It was a sign of Charles's love for him. Alastair knew this rising emotion well when Charles had been fake dating girls when Alastair was still in high school. Hurt and uncontrollable jealousy plagued his mind and soul, but he pushed through. Charles had a good reason for that all. Charles did it so they could be together.

He kept telling Charles he would never have another because Charles was all he ever craved for. Charles, with the freckles ducking his nose and cheeks and the arrogant smile that caused Alastair's heart to race faster. Even if this smile didn't make his heart warm the way it used to.

Charles cast his gaze on Alastair, at last. The dark-skinned boy didn't know what Charles saw when he looked at his face, but he put the newspaper down on the coffee table. "I never suggested anything of the likes of it. I took you in and cared for you, Alastair. I loved you albeit the reputation of your family. Your father disgraced you, he ruined your family's name, but I still loved you."

I still loved you. At his darkest moments, it was Charles who temporarily took away the pain, whom he came to when he had no one else to turn to. Charles kissed the hurt away, he was a beacon in the dark. Alastair couldn't lean on his mother, couldn't trust his cousin or sister either. Charles was the only one who truly cared for him. The single person in an entire ocean of callousness, his shield, his Tempel.

His love.

His answer wavered. "And why's that anything to do with now?"

"I stayed even as everyone turned their back on you," Charles spoke slowly, making sure every word was heard loud and clear, directed at his husband. "My love for you didn't wither. I try and give you the life you want, and ask only for you to be a good husband. I'm not perfect, but I'm trying. I just thought you'd-" he took a breath, "would at least appreciate it."

He remembered those days. Charles was with another girlfriend at the time and refused to meet Alastair in public. When they did meet, safe in Charles's car or flat, Charles didn't mention anything about his family. He was in too deep about his own life and politics. Alastair's throat constricted, he wanted to talk, to speak, to confront Charles. He couldn't force the words out. It was like this, Alastair knew, Charles always knew what to say to refute Alastair's words, to make him feel small and foolish as a child. He was tired of fighting with Charles. Still, the words came out before Alastair registered them. "You said I'm not your problem." Humiliation washed him, he sounded like a small boy crying for his father.

"I was harsh with my words, Alastair, and I apologize." Charles's smile was gentle, his cold facade slipping off. Something in the way the curves of his lips tended to the side made Alsteir feel dreadful. "I am exhausted. I was upset you wouldn't listen to reason, you see. But you do now, don't you?"

Alastair's eyes glittered. He looked down and stared at his slippers. "I do."

But Charles wasn't finished. He moved his hand through his unkempt red curls, his smile gone. "An uncaring man, that's what you think of your husband, Alastair?" There was a line crossing his forehead, and Alastair immediately craved to send a hand forward to smooth the crease from his lover's forehead.

Alastair faltered. "That's not what I'm saying, Charles. I just... I-I feel like you ignore how I feel sometimes-"

Almost violently, Charles placed his hand under his husband's chin, squeezing and bringing him closer to his face. "Alastair, everything I do, I do it all for you. For us."

"I know," Alastair whispered, shaking his head.

"It doesn't sound like you do."

He kissed Charles's cheeks and lips apologetically. "I know, Charles. I know."

The remorse and guilt were not long in hitting him for thinking such horrible thoughts about his husband.

The world outside was a cruel place and queer politicians struggled to fit into it, he was doing it for Charles's success. For Charles's dreams. Alastair's dream was to be with Charles, to live happily with someone who truly cared for him, with no false promises. Charles worked to achieve this future. And if Alastair had to push aside the rest of his dreams to make it happen in some of the days, so be it. Charles loved him and he loved Charles, it didn't have to be so hard, at least behind the walls of their house. He recited that in his mind over and over again, saying Charles's name in his mind like a prayer.

Charles's hand moved from his chin to the back of his neck, intertwining his fingers in Alastair's dark curls. "Why haven't you gone to bed?" he asked.

Alastair winced. He didn't look at his husband's emerald-green eyes. Hesitantly, he conceded, "I was concerned when you didn't return home. You didn't pick up the phone."

It was the truth. A part of it, at least. What was almost blurted out of his mouth was I couldn't sleep without you, delbar-am. It had only led to Charles mocking how childish he acted.

Even miles away from everything that ever stained his heart, Alastair couldn't escape the nightmares that haunted him at night.

Charles's presence helped. A warm body next to him reminded him he wasn't alone. Since he was a teenager, it helped him soothe his mind along with the tears tracing down his cheeks. Alastair was very reluctant to sleep with another for that reason, he was afraid he'd drive Charles away. Just another person who would be disgusted by his broken pieces.

He did sleep with Charles, and as days flew by he learned his nightmares were the less taunting the days Charles stayed. When he simply was in his arms he finally knew peace. He still recalled the first time he had a nightmare, a bad one, while Charles was with him. Alastair was so sure he wept silently enough to not wake up Charles from his slumber. Charles stirred and got up, however, and Alastair was to blame for it.

Charles didn't do much. Beyond the startlement of being woken up by muffled gasps of terror and crying, Charles merely rose up from the bed and got out of the room. Alastair called his name, pleaded for him to return. He thought Charles had left him for good, that he was disgusted from what he saw. He couldn't fall back asleep that night.

On those nights and others to follow, Charles didn't comfort him when he woke up sweating from nightmares. He did not speak with him about this. But he stayed, and Alastair was thankful. His Charles was kind. Kinder than most people.

He vaguely remembered a kinder soul, one he believed had everything to let itself be kind. Hazel eyes, a soft voice, dusty freckles on his nose. This person was long gone in Alastair's eyes.

"My phone turned off, my battery died." Charles startled him from his reverie. "I'm here now. You can go to sleep."

His head snapped up to look at the fair-skinned man. "You are not coming with me?"

"No," his silked-back curls moved with him as he shoot his head. "I ought to finish some paperwork. Go ahead, I'll come when I'm done."

Those words easily could translate to 'I am not going to bed tonight.' Charles could be forgetful once he dived into his work. Alastair wasn't allowed to interrupt him, he could only make breakfast and hope Charles would come and eat with him. If not, he at least had Remy, his hedgehog, by his side.

He pecked Charles's lips, more out of habit than intentionally. His lips fluttered over Alsteir's and the latter closed his eyes and surrendered to the sensation. When he cracked them open, a bit out of breath, and murmured, "Don't overwork yourself, my love."

"Alright," Charles said, heading to his study.

Alastair watched him from where he still stood in the middle of the foreroom. Then a thought struck his mind. "Charlie?"

It was a nickname Charles's brother gave him, Alastair was told. But he loved it, although Charles complained he and his brother weren't on exactly good terms. It revealed a softer side to Charles, one only he had the key to. Said man stopped in his tracks and turned around, examining Alastair's face, seeking answers there. When Alastair kept a determined face, his husband inquired, "What is it?"

Alastair braved himself. He spoke cautiously, "In a week, it's my baby brother's birthday. I thought we might go-"

Charles's face closed off, any hint of tenderness gone. "No."

The dark-haired man blinked. "Then I'll go alone. I haven't seen my siblings in so long. I- don't even know what Rostam looks like, it's been 3 years. And I wish to congratulate my mother and Risa on their marriage. We haven't attended, you remember? You had business in the countryside."

It was what Charles told him, and was consistent enough with it. But a small part of Alastair told him his husband didn't want to be involved in anything public relating him to his true nature or to his liking to men.

"You could have, I never stopped you, I just said I didn't want you to go on your own," His husband drew out a cigarette and a lighter and took a deep puff of smoke. He knew Alastair didn't like it when he smoked inside. It was an act of putting him in place. "And you know what I think of your sister," He walked up to Alastair, stopping so close Alastair had to take a step backward. "Don't you remember she tried to separate us? She had no problem trying and keep you apart from the only person who loves you."

"Cordelia- isn't like this. And it's not her I want to see," Alastair lied. At the mention of his sister, he felt tears pricking the corner of his eyes. Yes, it was his brother's birthday, but all of his family would be there - Sona, Risa, Cordelia, Rostam. Years passed since he has last seen any of them. His last encounter with his sister ended badly.

She was reasoning with him, in her way, telling him Charles was no good. He refused to believe it. Charles walked in as they argued, however, and threatened to call the cops. He told Alastair that his sister was trying to break them apart, that he shouldn't let it happen. It was the last time he'd seen his sister, an anguished look on her face as she stepped out of their house's door. It was the first time Charles whispered in Alastair's ear and said he shouldn't meet Layla again, his family, or he'll be deeply upset. He knew what deeply upset meant.

"She wanted you to break up with me, the person you love. Isn't it cruel of her? How could I know she won't try and do the same if you meet at your sibling's birthday?"

"I love you, Charles. Her words would never change that. And you can join-" Alastair started and was cut off by Charles.

"Isn't it unfair of you to want me to be in her vicinity? " he insisted gravely, then he put out his cigarette in a half-full glass Alastair brought himself before his arrival. "Next week is fully booked with meetings, anyway."

"And my mother? And Rostam?"

"They are not more your family than I am." He leveled Alastair's eyes with a loving gaze that gave him chills, and not the good kind. Alastair chocked down tears. "You know what I think of it, Alastair. Make up your mind."

With that said, Charles left to his study, leaving Alastair feeling his heart would burst out and cry with him.

~~~*~~~

Taglist (tell me if you want to be added or removed!): @ary-es @writeordie-4 @justanormaldemon @life-through-the-eyes-of @hidethebreakables @tessherongraystairs @cordelia-in-the-right-skin-tone @take-the-train @pink-party-dino <3

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