helloooooo <3 how are u doing bff?

hiiii! i’m good wby?

Harry Styles Blog Recommendations [list 2]

HS List 1 | HS List 2

i had and old chain of reblogs with my blog recs on it, but it got hard to navigate. furthermore, others deactivated their accounts or changed their urls. hence the new and improved version. so here you go (; 💐

@kwritingbooks

@lollypopsx

@londonharry

@lovecanyon

@lukesaprince

@matildashoney

@meetmymouth

@moonchildstyles

@mulledcherrywine

@mummymilkersontour

@narryfdreaming

@pancakerry

@pancakes4two

@pleasingsatellite

@purplekiwis

@reveriehs

@satanhalsey

@shroombloomm

@smilesstyless

@strawberriescherrieskiwi

@styleslookbook

@stylesmygucci

@stylesnews

@stylessupremacy

@swiftmendeshoran

@thestylesindependent

@tinyhrry

@tokyoharry

@tpwkwriter

@trulymadlysydney

@tuliprry

@twicellite

@walkingintheheartbreaksatellite

@watchmegetobsessed

@watchyourbluesturngolden

@watermelonlovershigh

@whitemancumslut

(I’m also aware most of you have been tagged by me before so sorry about that hehe)

asthore (h.s)

summary: "yn and harry have been married for 3 years now, still a secret to the public. this is a comfort story, going back and forth of how they met and their married life and a lot of sweet drama in between. very full of love, fluffy, safe. "

asthore main post

word count: 3.3k

warnings: death, anxiety, depression, christimas time, sex mention, fluff

sunday, 17 of december 2022, 3:36pm 

the cold breeze from christmas approaching in the small italian village almost freeze y/n’s bones as she’s cruising through the christmas markets, the ligurian sea facing her as she hands a 5€ bill to the italian man that just finished filling a jar with taggiasca olives, “grazie! buone feste!” y/n says as she puts the jar back in the jean tote bag and covering her right hand with the black comfy glove once again. the humidity has driven y/n to have her hair constantly covered by a beanie or her curls would be so tangled she would spend an eternity in hair masks trying to salvage it. the phone pings. 

soupy

“just passed passport control, 30 minutes and i’m home. i love you x H”

y/n smiles, feeling her cheeks blush up from thinking about seeing her husband after nearly two months since halloween in los angeles, the butterflies from being apart fly more in her stomach as she rushes to their italian home, this was the first christmas both their families would spend in the home they have been building in the small coastal village of sanremo, y/n had done her masters in  the university of verona and absolutely fell in love with the country. and here she is, buying olives for christmas eve dinner, the first ever she’s hosting herself. 

the white gate opens up as y/n presses the button attached to her keys, she sighs at the car standing in the driveway as harry told her to try and get used to it and he would teach them how to drive but y/n has a unreasonable fear of cars, even when she had to drive the bumper cars, she would cry and her dads would end up picking her out of the car. she walks down the darkened stone (by the raindrops) path, the automatic light shines, lightening up the whole entrance area, y/n opens the green heavy front door and is greeted by patata and notte, their two cats, “ahh my two girls!! daddy is about to be home so mama is gonna heat up the soy lasagna and light some candles!” y/n is used to only talking to the two kittens she had rescued with harry, she takes her gloves and beanie and her long brown coat, hanging them by the door as she closes it behind her. 

soupy

“it’s raining really bad, i’m at the petrol station right by the theatre, 10 minutes i’m all yours, sweet bunny. god i miss you x”

bunny

“i already threw your jammies in the dryer so they’re warm when you get here, turned the ac on and i’m watching british news, just for you”

soupy

“you’re an angel!!!!! my angel wife”

y/n wrapped herself in a black silk robe that matches her pyjama set and sat on the sofa, heart heavy awaiting for harry to open the front door and them reuniting, her stomach was seriously going through it, she could barely work in the morning and had cereal for lunch as she felt too eager to even think about eating. the news were mentioning winter wonderland in london and how crowded they were after the pandemic, y/n missed london a little bit, being her home for most of the year and 2022 being the first time she’s not having a hot cocoa by the london eye just staring at the tourists. her stomach growls again, her anxiety is leading up to not knowing if she should even eat or stay pretty by the door so she can immediately kiss harry. 

she opted to fill up the kettle with water so they could have a tea and harry could warm up, as the water boiled the sound of a car motor makes its way into the house, meaning harry was home, in unicorn slippers y/n gets out of the house in a rush. harry is parking his car next to his other one and y/n is regretting being outside in slippers but she couldn’t wait one more second. 

and there he was…

he stood tall leaving the car, wearing light blue jeans and black vans, his upper body was covered by y/n’s favourite coat of harry’s, the multitude of greens and how long it looked y/n genuinely wanted the coat for herself, his hair clipped back with his regular black clip and his smile, y/n felt her entire body relaxing as she sloppily ran to his arms under the humidity of sunset. “fuck, fuck, you’re real” his arms wrap around the short figure in front of him, “fuck, my y/n” he sighs in relief and keeps the embrace just as tight. y/n places her chin on his upper chest and looks at him, his face structure coral-ish like the sun just about to set. “i missed you” their lips meet, a kiss they had been longing for almost two months, yet as their lips collide it’s like no time as passed, they went to sleep and woke up together, just like their meant to be. “harry i love you but i came outside in my jammies and i’m freezing” y/n shivers as she speaks up, he can’t help but keep a stupid smile on his face, this was his most normal, his wife saying she was cold begging them to go inside, his brain filled with deja-vu, “goooo inside, dummy” he says, opening the boot of the car, taking his suitcase out of it, y/n had already grabbed his backpack and made her way into the house, making harry stand a few meters from the door, feeling nothing but relief, to be home.

☆

monday, 18 of december 2023, 4:13am

harry woke up almost jumping from the sofa, looked at his phone, 4:13am, y/n was passed out in the sofa as well, their cats asleep between them and the electric fireplace still on as well as the bbc 1 still playing out the news from throughout the day. 

a big yawn escaped his lips as he slowly got off under the covers to grab a chocolate brioche from the kitchen, he knew y/n like the back of his hand, keeping the chocolate brioches at hand for a lat night craving of something sweet. harry for the first time in a few months felt genuinely at peace, not that he doesn’t love tour, he does, he can’t stop touring and seeing the familiar and unknown faces he hold in his heart with so much love but just sometimes he misses home, home isn’t exactly a place for him, because harry has a lot more houses than he could explain, but he only has one y/n, a short irish and scottish teddy bear in a human form that writes her fingers off and spends too much time in front of her computer and totally belongs to the generation he longs to understand. he walked back into the living room, y/n’s now sleepy eyes open, petting the cats, “harry! we fell asleep on the sofa…can we go to bed?” his heart skipped a beat right there, her curls messy from the sofa pillow, eyes droopy, cheesy smile on her lips from having him home. home. she was home.

the sleepy couple headed off to bedroom with their two cats following them, y/n and harry have always allowed their kitties to sleep in bed, even though sometimes the cats do bite harry off the bed, “how are patata and notte doing at night?” harry asks as he slides under the covers with small roses that y/n picked and he loves so much, “well patata sleeps on top of my feet and notte well… she likes to stay under the covers” y/n admits not changing notte’s behaviours, “y/n! she’s gonna bite me off the bed! again!” y/n gets under the covers as well and kisses his lips softly, “god i missed having you home”, y/n places her self on top of him, “oh bunny.. you almost make me forget the jet lag” harry kisses y/n, this time more abruptly, almost raw. “fuck! i missed you”

10:46am

the regular sunny beach town’s sky was covered in dark, heavy clouds, ready to burst at any given second, harry was aware of this, he was in the middle of his run and upset that the rain was going to interrupt his so beloved routine, he was running along the giardini municipali, his favourite place to run while they’re in their sanremo home, he checks his watch when a raindrop falls exactly on top of it, harry groans, he has left 20 minutes ago and his run was being cut short by an angry christmas weather rain that the old lady that lives next door has told him… or what he understood from his beginners italian. running back home in hopes to not get soaked was truly in vain. when he opened the green front door he was soaked through his entire clothes, he thought of y/n, likely still wrapped in the duvet, he almost envied her for a second but he knows y/n’s medication makes her crave her bed a little longer than he does. after a much needed shower harry walks quietly into the bedroom, curtains still closed, loud purring coming from the bed, a little night light on y/n’s side, still on, his hands gently rubbed through y/n’s cheek, a way he learned to wake her up without startling her, “mmmm too early” she moaned, still with her eyes shut close, “baby.. c’mon sweetheart, i made coffee and pancakes, i didn’t know if you wanted eggs” he says almost whispering, lowering his body, squatting down next to the bed, “oh the banana pancakes? with pecan nuts?” y/n opens her eyes, looking directly in his, “exactly those ones”, harry smiles doing the gentle rub on her cheek again, “okay i’m listening” y/n yawns, turning on her side to look directly at harry, “well..after breakfast we could start decorating the house maybe even finish our christmas shopping?” his hand now travelled to her hair, gently running his fingers through it. “mmmmm give me a kiss?” she asks, getting closer to the edge of the bed, “always, as many kisses as you want, bunny.”. 

the kitchen smelled exactly as y/n had hoped, of harry, banana, coffee and fresh bread, their kitchen was a little sanctuary for the both of them, the floor was almost like honeycomb, brown, yellow and dark red, usually very cold, the walls white, the cabinets a sage green y/n and harry fell in love with, a white oven that seemed too complicated at first and all of the kitchen adorned with gold details, the handles, the pots… the countertops were wood like, matching the kitchen table with mismatched chairs, the other side of the kitchen still with the sage cabinets, a window right on top of the big white sink and golden faucet, decorated with tulips, y/n’s favourite flower. the cat’s food bowls filled, the eggs sizzling in the frying pan, y/n begged her brain to take a screenshot of this moment and remember it forever. her happiest place, her and her husband. 

y/n sat on one of the mismatched chairs as harry placed the food in front of her, “vip treatment huh?” y/n mocks due to him being the one used to vip treatment, “for my wife? anything.. also i got super soaked in my run earlier” harry comments as he takes the eggs out of the pan to another plate, “you did? why didn’t u call me i would’ve.. well i would’ve cheered u up” y/n speaks with her mouthful with a pancake bite, harry thought it was cute, how her mind was always racing, y/n hates it, harry in the other hand thinks it makes her special, her brain never shuts off, more time he gets to spend with her in her little world. “well baby i knew you were asleep and this jet lag is so weird, woke up, fell asleep, woke up and then couldn’t sleep so i went and fed the cats and then i came back still couldn’t sleep so i went on my run without checking the weather app and well yeah but i’m okay” y/n felt hypnotised, yes she knows she’s married to him but just sometimes when he goes on his rambles, y/n likes to stare at him, his lips, his lips now covered with honey from the pancakes, she doesn’t know what power over her has given her the chance to be here, staring at her husband eating her favourite breakfast. “if you feel like you get a cough i have those cough drops from when i had covid, they were pretty good” her lips press together in worry, “baby i came home, took a shower and woke you up, i’m okay. i promise” 

promises were something big in their relationship, from harry’s perspective he needed someone he could trust blindly and from y/n’s perspective she has always been an open heart ready to trust anyone, so they met half way, keeping promises. promises that they wouldn’t hide stuff from each other, promises that they’d always be honest about their health, promises to stay in contact even if the signal is one bar in the middle of nowhere. right here, right now, their home is a promise from harry’s vows: 

“i promise, even when i’m far to always come back home to you, my love, i promise to make our home the most beautiful place that ever existed, just for you and me.”

the rain hit the kitchen windows pretty strongly, soothing the couple that was still eating breakfast,  “i don’t think going out is a very smart idea, soupy, look at the weather!” y/n says, calling harry by his nickname when they started dating, soupy, he had soup every day on facetime and y/n just came up with it, soupy and now even her family calls him soupy, “don’t call me soupy! and we are still doing stuff because decorating the house for christmas doesn’t require leaving” harry affirms, holding his plate and mug placing them on the sink, “the christmas decorations are in your studio harry and i’m not going to the other house” y/n pouts, “i love rain when i’m inside! not when i’m outside and need to do stuff!” she complains. a few meters away there’s a small house that harry converted into his studio while he was stuck in italy with y/n because of the pandemic, y/n stored the christmas things there and never touched them again, in all fairness it was a beautiful sunny january day and she was in a good mood. “fine, i’ll get them, you’re lucky i’d do anything for you”, “oh!!! can’t wait to tell my friends my husband would walk in the rain for me, what a man!” she mocks giggling against the mug, “mrs y/n styles you’re very sassy today!” he says in the same mocking tone, “it’s what happens when you fuck me to sleep, i wake up feeling like a spoiled princess” she keeps laughing, waiting to catch her breathe to finish her coffee. harry gets close and kisses her forehead and sighs in relief, “i love seeing you like this” y/n knew what harry meant, her depression and major anxiety really sprout up in the first few months of their marriage, making the first year even rockier than what they had anticipated, y/n is still medicated, for awhile harry felt like he had lost his y/n, until everything started piecing together like a puzzle, her smile, her jokes, her collection of books, her arguments in irish with one of her dads, it’s like his y/n had never left, she just needed a little boost that harry alone couldn’t give.

“wonders of antidepressants and a good loving night with my husband, you should know i’m always better with you around” she whispered against his lips, “i love you, bunny”, “and “i love you, soupy”.

☆

to better understand this story, we have to go back to almost 40 years ago years ago, when y/n’s parents, cormac and callum first met, they were both 15, had the same classes, did everything together in their hometown of sterling, a true high school love story that lasted their entire lives, they considered themselves lucky, falling in love at a time it was no longer illegal to love each other in scotland, their love only grew with time, moving in together, dreaming of getting married, dreaming of having children.. which eventually happened when they were 25, elsie and ewan, their families thought they were insane, adopting twins at 25 and all the repercussions of only one of them actually being able to be “legally” their father, but they still did it, elsie and ewan were 1 year old when they were officially adopted by callum but they always taught them cormac was their father regardless of what any paper said. 

the year 1998 came along, cormac’s younger sister orla was pregnant, cormac was so excited that his children would have a cousin and nothing prepared him for the next months of his life, the day that should be of joy was clouded by sadness as his sister died while giving birth, making y/n immediately orphan with half a second of life in her body so cormac stepped up, christmas being the first holiday they all spent together, the 5 of them. just them.

when same-sex marriage became legal in scotland they did get married. even though, in their hearts they had been married since they were 15.

but before that, as the siblings grew, y/n had friends that didn’t have the best family environment, and cormac and callum had no luck trying to adopt them because their parents wouldn’t allow it, so as adults it did happen, simon and flora became the 6th and 7th member of the family. harry knew this story, y/n had told him this story a million times but he’s hearing it again as they get the christmas tree ready, he looks at her with an amount of love in his eyes that he’s not able to express if not by poetry in his hidden notebooks, “and well the rest you know, elsie is a teacher at the same school as my dad mac, ewan plays football in torino, simon is a tattoo artist in manchester and you know flora better than anyone” y/n explains once again as she places the handmade ornaments she got from and italian charity shop, “flora.. the baker that purposely calls me soups” harry goans as he makes sure the christmas lights are all working before placing them on the tree, “i didn’t know she was gonna give you hell for my nickname for you, harry, she’s the baby, i don’t like getting angry at her… are those lights ready?” 

“they’re ready”

“then help me put them on, soupy”

“kiss me first, under the mistletoe” 

“you’re so sappy!”

“thank god i found you then, to love all this sappiness”

“and i do. every single inch of you, tha gaol agam ort (i love you)”

“and i love you”

taglist: @grapejuice-rry @theekyliepage @madgracee @iamahallucinationnn (anyone else please tell me if u wanna be tagged in the next chapters!)

sparks - h.s.

summary: y/n meets harry, a much older man while she's on vacation in southern spain.. somehow 45 minutes are all it takes to fall in love

warnings: smut, unprotected sex (wrap it before u tap it), cursing, divorce, DRAMAAAAA, age gap, sort of a daddy kink?, lot's of fluff

clover's notes: for some reason tumblr changed my paragraph structure and the little symbols i had to differentiate the moments 🥲 i'll try and fix this

word count: 8.5k

y/n’s pov - august 1st

the sun shined through the hotel curtains and i groaned, i tapped my phone's screen and read 8:35am, it's so hot right now i can actually feel my brain frying, i turned on the air conditioner and closed my eyes. i have been in marbella for a day, i work at a hotel in london and in a hotel get together last month i won a week at the exact same hotel but in marbella. i could've invited a friend or even a cousin but truth be told i need this week away from everyone, my job, my family, school, seriously everyone and everything back in london. i groan once more, 8:39am, fuck this shit i'm getting up. i took a short cold shower in hopes the spanish weather would not eat me alive as soon as i stepped foot outside, i dressed a white dress with little white flowers and beige sandals with a semi decent heel,  i grabbed my  tote bag and threw in a book, my airpods, sunscreen and my wallet. I grabbed my sunglasses and my room card and was out my bedroom, to be honest i didn't want to go out of the hotel and visit, my entire body is honestly needing a piñacolada and a sweet calming time reading my book, which consists of beach reach by emily henry.

the pool area isn't too packed, likely because it's only 9am, i walk over to the bar area and i must've looked desperate ordering that piñacolada because the barman looked at me like i'm some sort of weirdo, maybe its the drinking alcohol at 9am on a tuesday but you see, being 23 and struggling with a master thesis, strangers and a job and your family trying to set you up with a guy you despise from your high school years you might end up just like me. as he prepared my drink i walked over to a sun lounger that hid completely in the shade and dropped my bag on top of it, only taking my wallet back to the bar, "the gentleman already paid for you", i read the name tag on the barman's t-shirt, miguel and almost repeated it out loud to ask him who the gentleman was but miguel was already talking to someone else. i look over the round counter of the bar and there's a very nicely put man with whiskey in a cup in front of him, yikes, must be having a harder week than me. "enjoy your drink" he spoke loudly enough for me to understand it, "thank you for paying for it", i reply taking a sip through the brown paper straw, "ah you're british?" he questions as he plays with his glass, "yeah, are you?" i ask, keeping an eye on my bag, "yeah i am, i come to málaga often so i've got a nice tan", he's sounds so smooth, his words aren't slurring after each other like i do, he speaks slowly but in a sexy way which gets me mentally slap myself. "if you don't mind, i left my bag over there and i have a romance waiting for me, thank you once again for the drink... that was very kind" i announced getting off the high stool and walking away before he could give me a response.

i felt weird the rest of the morning, i couldn't focus on my book nor listen to music, my brain remained stuck on the man from the bar, jesus, i came here to get away from trouble and i'm definitely just burying myself in a big one that happens to dress nicely, my eyes scanned the book one more time, oh this is ridiculous! i have read this sentence a thousand times today and i can’t seem to wrap my head around it. i looked over the book, just to take a peek at the man one more time but he wasn’t at the bar counter anymore, i pout and grab my phone, scrolling through instagram. 

"margarita?" a large shadow covers the little sunshine that was warming my body up, "huh? oh! hi mr british man", i smile to him and my stomach feels bottomless for a second, i sit on my sun lounger as i grab the glass, "so... will british man finally tell me his name?" i ask sipping on the margarita, he sits on the lounger next to mine as he sips on something that definitely isn't a margarita, "i'm harry, you?", "i'm y/n!" i sound way too excited but he smiles at me, "and what does beautiful y/n do in marbella all by herself?", his eyes look like they're undressing my soul, dead ass staring me, "well um, im a masters student and i'm under a lot of pressure so i won this free week at the hotel... and you?", i try to stare him the same way but i end up looking like what my dad calls, angry puppy, "i own a winery and a wine cellar and my wines are very well loved so they also offered me a week over here" he takes another sip of what i now assume it's wine disguised in a margarita glass, "oh! i wouldn't take you as a wine owner" i blurt out, "no?", "well you look like a young writer and you're here to get inspired! or maybe it's just the plot of the book i'm reading" i point at the book and play gently with the little paper umbrella on my glass, "i'm not a writer nor young but i'm glad i still look interesting" he seems genuinely content that i just thought he was just a little older than me, "before you ask.. i turn 39 in february", i almost immediately reply "god thats so hot" but i swallow my words, "i'm 23 and i'm far from being interesting harry, look at me im a 23 year old reading romances hiding from glorious spanish sun and im a masters student in theatre arts that is currently doing a thesis in contemporary musicals and performance.. god i need a sip" he's smiling at me, i don't know why because i feel like i just said the most boring phrase for regular people, "that is very interesting, y/n, at 23 i had no prospects for my future so... you're doing good", oh that was it, my stomach felt even more out of my body with that small praise, i feel my cheeks burn and i try to look away from harry, feeling like a shy child.

it's been 45 minutes and we're still talking, i can't help but stare at him more than i should, so much so i immediately said yes when he asked if we could have lunch together on his boat, didn't even have the decency to think for a minute before getting back to him, truth is sometimes my mind slips to my ex boyfriend, we broke up a month ago and when i opened instagram on the airport yesterday, there he was, spending money on a hotel with a beautiful girl and i had to hold my tears from crying on my first day of vacation and now here's this man.. man... a man! asking me to have lunch on his yacht and it gets my brain so intoxicated with dopamine making a little gentle smile pop up in my lips.

on a small boat, a spanish man took us to harry's yacht, that read "brisa parisina" (parisian breeze), i had never been this close to a yacht ever, my times at the sea were always a month in cornwall with my dad after him and my mum got divorced and we stayed back in london so my siblings and i wouldn't have to change schools, but i had never been so close to such a big boat, harry thanks the man and hands him a 50 euro bill and i gulp looking at the big tip for a 5 minute trip from the deck to harry's yacht, but it’s his money so i try to not show my shocked face as he steps out of the small boat to the ladder that leads to what i assume the deck of the yacht, he reaches his hand out for me and i say “muchas gracias” to the man and get on top of the boat with harry’s help. the immediate thing i see is the light brown flooring that has grey cushions on top on the right and left, leaving a small path towards the helm station that controls the boat that has sofa looking like cushions on both sides and a small table. harry keeps walking through that and gets down the most tight staircase i’ve ever seen and been on, there’s a table, a big tv, and more sofas and even art hanging in the walls, a kitchenette with lots of storage place, four oven tops, a microwave, a sink bigger than mine at home and a small fridge and freezer, my stomach starts to hurt, i had realise this man was rich.. but like not i have a huge yacht rich, right after the kitchen (that even has a small wine compartment and a huge cooking space that has me speechless), there’s another small door that leads to a suite, a huge bedroom that i would not say was behind the tiny door and a very decent sized bathroom. “you can leave your bag here” harry points at the bed and i nod, “there’s another two bedrooms and bathrooms on the other side of the yacht but they’re pretty much the same, just smaller”, not one but two bedrooms? i take my phone out of my bag and type in the brand of the boat on google, 1 million pounds, i almost let a scream out of my mouth as i read the price and then the costs of maintaining a boat like this and my asos dress suddenly feels like a potato bag. i can see harry from where i’m standing, he’s opening a bottle of red wine and i’m tempted to google the price of it too.. but i don’t, i locked my phone and threw it to the bed along with my stuff and walked back to him. 

“okay you have to try this wine, it’s a cabernet sauvignon from my winery in italy, it has a black cherry and black pepper flavour but i think you’ll enjoy it” he hands me a glass, “do you like mushroom paté? i have some we can snack on as i make lunch” i take a sip of the wine and god, i’ve never had red wine this good, in fact i think i’ve hated all the times i had red wine, “i’ve never had wine this good.. nor mushroom paté.. sorry” i can feel my cheeks flush and i look out the small window above the sink, staring at the blue ocean, harry gets closer to me and he looks way taller when he’s this close, “good thing there’s a first time for everything, right?” he whispers but almost melodically, “can i kiss you?” his tone remains the same, give me goosebumps that led to a broken “yes” and placing the wine glass on the kitchenette counter. his hands met my face, both his thumbs on my cheeks, he firstly gives me a peck and then proceeds to kiss me with more passion this time, his tongue in sync with mine, one his hands that was holding my face drops to my waist, pulling me closer to him, i can feel him smile in between the kiss and i open my eyes, “what’s so funny?” i ask trying to make an angry voice, “you taste good that’s all”, “oh yeah?”, “taste very good” he then kisses me again, this time shorter. “what do you want for lunch?” harry opens one of the cupboards over my head and takes a cream coloured saucepan with a brown wood handle out, “you invited me harry i don’t know”, “what about truffled macaroni with smoked haddock and then i let it bake for a bit?” i’m pretty sure i’ve never had haddock in the first place, “harry.. sorry to ask, what’s.. a haddock?”, i feel embarrassed, telling a 38 year old man i’ve never had.. whatever he mentioned, “oh! it’s a fish.. i can always make it vegetarian if you prefer?” i smile to him, “how did you know i want to be a vegetarian?” i furrowed my eyebrows, “i didn’t but i’m a flexitarian so i have tofu in here”, i’m starting to believe this man is too good to be true, “you know i have to follow the times and eating less meat and fish is a way to help the planet”, okay i need to get into his pants now this isn’t a joke, “wow”, “what?”, “nothing, i’m not used to hanging out with men that are educated on these things” i say honestly, he gives me a shy smile and points to the oven, “want to help me cook?”, “yeah of course”. 

after lunch that was paired with a white wine that i honestly couldn’t pronounce, harry sailed the boat to further from the dock, i wouldn’t say we were in the middle of nowhere but we weren’t exactly somewhere i could pin point, my phone even says my location is the mediterranean sea. i’m laying down on the deck sofa’s in the shade as harry is now coming back upstairs wearing only black and white swim shorts and flip flops, “why aren’t you catching some sun, y/n? it’s a great day” he sits next to me, grabbing my legs and putting them on his lap, “i’m terrified of getting a sunburn, i got one a few years ago in sandymouth and i couldn’t sleep for two weeks, i don’t need that again” i sighed closed the book i’m yet to read properly, “oh you’re from cornwall?” harry asks, “my dad lives in plymouth but i’m actually from london, i mean i was born in romford but yeah… you?”, “well i’m from a small town near manchester but i live in london for.. 20 years now”, 20 years… god he was 18 when he moved to london, i was 3 when he was 18 oh my god, “i’ve actually never been to manchester” i admit, i don’t know how is that any interesting but it’s the truth, “whenever you want to, i’m more than happy to show you around” he offers as he stars to rub my legs.. gently, i honestly feel like moaning and he’s not even doing anything too special, “do you mind if i work a little bit next to you?” he doesn’t stop the massage on my right leg, “shouldn’t this be your vacation, harry?”, “it should but-“, “no buts! let me get up lets find something to do” i say enthusiastically, i sit next to him and grab his hand, “do you have any games? we just ate so i don’t think swimming in the cold water is good for us”, “i think my goddaughter left a unicorn cards game when she was here with me” he affirms, “GREAT! let’s play”.

“unstable unicorns, build a unicorn army, betray your friends, unicorns are your friends now” harry reads off the box, to explain quickly, you start the game with one baby unicorn of your choice, and then the deck is shuffled and u get 5 cards, those can be basic unicorns, magic unicorns, magic cards, upgrades, downgrades or a neigh (that stops the other players play), i explain exactly the same to harry, i had played this game with my friends and harry didn’t fully remember how to play, “i pick this baby” i say grabbing a rainbow coloured baby unicorn card, harry picks a pink coloured baby unicorn and says, “this is my god daughters favourite baby”, i smile at the thought of harry with children, “how old is she?”, “she’s 8, we spent her 8th here actually” he observes as he shuffles the deck and places 5 cards in front of each of us, i grab my cards and i try to hide the little smirk on my face, “y/n start you’re the one wearing a colourful bikini” he looks over to me and i place a basic unicorn next to the baby unicorn, “look harry it’s you” i point at the unicorn with a beard, “oh are you calling me basic y/n?” he fakes an angry tone, “no! i’m just saying this very cute unicorn is you because of the beard!” i reply pretending to be offended he thought i was offending him, “don’t be upset, little girl, i was just messing with you” oh good grief i can feel my stomach doing flips, he plays a basic unicorn as well and the came continues, with actions and neighs and yelling at each other over downgrades that made me sacrifice one of my unicorns which led to me stealing harry’s baby unicorn, “HA!” i scream, “I GOT YOOOOOU” she giggles as she places the pink baby on her stable, “y/n! not the baby!” he pouts and stares at his game, i didn’t know he was a sore loser but he seriously looked very upset, i got up and stood next to him, “harry i didn’t mean to upset you it’s just a game, i’ll give you your unicorn back” i affirm, “harry c’mon” i squat so i can look at his face from under, “i’m sorry” i place my hand on his thigh and he looks to me, “don’t be” i don’t even have time to process his words because his lips crash in mine and when i realise we are kissing again, i get up and he follows me, going back to my lips immediately after, running his hands through my shoulders and then my arms. “you scared me” i say in between kisses, “sorry.. it was just sweet to see you that worried about me” he whispers against my mouth, “i didn’t mean to upset you, h”, “you didn’t”, he gives me a little peck, “want to finish the game, unicorn robber?”, “HEY! and yes”. 

i ended up winning the first game and harry the second so we were even but i couldn’t stop thinking about those kisses, i was putting the cards back in the box and harry was making us gin and tonic, “we could go for a swim don’t you think?” he suggests as he’s finishing the drinks, “i’m scared to swim without feeling the sand or ground harry, i’m not exactly tall like you” i admit, “don’t worry, i got you” he says as he places one of the cups in front of me, “i wouldn’t ask if i had intentions of not being there in case you need me, plus it’s 4pm the water must be so great now” he sits next to me and gives me a small forehead kiss before sipping on his gin, “sooooo”, “fine! but don’t let me go”, “i could never”. so we did end up swimming for a bit, mediterranean sea was warm and it felt good to swim with harry, i ended up sitting at the edge of the boat as he swam a little more, “you know you don’t look 38 right” i think the second glass of gin is making me too honest, “i don’t?”, “god no, you look max 28, i swear i was eye fucking you when i saw you sitting at the bar this morning”, “oh.. you were eye fucking me?” he furrowed his eyebrows as he swam back to me, sitting on the small space next to me, “tell me more” he emphasises on the more, “harry…”, i try not to sound worried, “yes?”, i get up and show him my hand so he can follow me, i sit on the sofa right next to the wheel, “i feel like i need to tell you this, i broke up with my boyfriend a month ago, he didn’t have time for me and he barely talked to me and it reached a point i was doing everything alone and i felt like i was the one fighting for my relationship and without me there would be nothing so i broke up with him” i vomit the words, “yesterday when i landed in malaga, he was posting stories on a hotel room with this girl i had seen comment his instagram posts and it really got to me.. and i don’t want to do anything without you knowing this” i breathe out and i feel relieved but worried about what harry could possibly say, “that fucking sucks y/n, i’m really sorry he did that to you, a real man would never do that” he cleans the tear off my cheek, “and i’m glad you told me, gives me more reasons to treat you like a lady deserves to be treated”, oh god here comes the butterflies again, “harry…can i kiss you again?” i ask and he nods, not waiting for me to make a move and kissing me again, salty from the sea and the small drips from our hairs falling onto our faces, “want to go downstairs?” he asks, “yes, please”. 

“harry we’re wet you sure you want to do this now?” i ask mid kiss, “i need you so bad i don’t care”, his hands grab my face, “i just want to make you feel good, bunny”, harry purrs, i immediately press my thighs together to his words and especially the new nickname out of his mouth, “lay down for me, please” he murmured and i laid back as fast as i could, almost desperately harry’s hands meet then my pink high waist bikini bottoms, pulling them along my legs and throwing them to the ground, his hands separated my knees, giving him full view of my vagina, “fuck” he blurted, “can i taste you?”, my legs immediately feel like jell-o when he asks, “yes, yes please” i cried out. he licked his lips and proceeded to kiss my inner left thigh as his free hand massaged my right thigh tenderly, his index finger brushed against my slit, making me whimper to his touch, "god damn y/n" he breathed, "your pussy is so pretty, bunny, all wet... just for me", a couple of words and i was basically melting in front of this man, without warning his warm tongue flicks against my folds, i bucked my hips up and grabbed the sheets, holding onto them, my brain was fuzzy at this point, “harry… harry please” i cried out, i needed him so fucking bad, “hush bunny” i look down and his eyes are filled with lust as his lips part from my pussy, his middle finger slid right in, he eyes me and his mouth finds its way to my clit, gently nibbling on it as his finger thrust inside me, “harry..” i moan as my vision literally starts to go black, “cum for me, bunny” he grunts and i let go of the sheets at the same time i cum in harry’s finger. he removed his finger at the same time his free thumb keeps stimulating my clit, he sucks his finger and then looks at me with a grin on his face, “you taste so fucking good”,  but i don’t have time to reply, he’s cleaning the cum off my already so sensitive cunt.

he moves his body up to kiss me, there’s saliva running down his chin and falling onto my chest, “see how good you taste, y/n? fuck you’re driving me insane”, he untangles the straps of my bikini top, that ends up on the bedroom floor as well, “your tits are perfect”, he hungry says as he pinches my nipples, a hint of pain all over my body when he does that but it feels to good, his mouth is busy getting to know my other nipple, “i love that you taste like the sea” he admits. in a swift he takes his swimming trunks, his cock is pressed against my pussy and i’m so close to begging him to fuck me, hard. “harry.. i need you, please”, he kisses my lips one more time as his cock pushes in inside me, slowly, inch by inch, i was already so sensitive that whatever game this man was trying to play was making me dizzy, speechless. once he was all in, his thrusts became more rapid and in sync, hitting my g spot, his index finger was back on my clit rubbing it frantically, he kissed me and i could feel my heart racing and my pussy clenching around him, “harry, harry i’m gonna cum” my legs start shaking, “fuck fuck wait for me” he pleads and i hold onto his back, pressing my nails against it, my eyes roll back as he collapses inside me with one last thrust. shockwaves through my entire body feeling his warmth inside of me.

“has anyone ever told you..you give the best orgasms ever? fuck, you’re such a good girl” harry cooed, making my already flushed cheeks burn even more, “actually i.. i had never had an orgasm with anyone if not… myself”, harry looks at me dead serious as he carefully removes himself from inside me, “a day of firsts, huh, bunny?” he kisses me, “if you keep calling me bunny i fear i need you to fuck me again” i blur out, “oh yeah, bunny? how about we talk about it in the shower?”

by the time we were done in the shower it was too late to come back to the port deck so harry ended up giving me one of his t-shirts and briefs, “what do you want for dinner?”, he asks, grabbing the already opened bottle of red wine, “is it bad that.. i want to say you?”, “okay i know you said i don’t look old but twice in a day almost put me on cardiac arrest, little girl”, i giggle to his response and hug him from behind, “sorry! i think i’m intoxicated by you, i just need you so fucking bad”, he looks at me, pensive, “jesus christ, y/n…you’re a filthy slut aren’t you?” he turns around, looking me in the eyes, “you’re probably ruining my briefs just by thinking about me fucking you, am i right?”, i stand immobile, i can’t even find any words to describe how wet i am or how he’s completely right, “aw, did i make my princess speechless?”, he gets his face closer to mine, “if you behave like the good little girl i know you are..maybe just maybe, daddy will take care of you before bed” he turns around getting various vegetables out of the fridge, “care to help me, princess?”, i gulp and quickly reply, “yes of course”.

i woke up to harry’s typing on his laptop, i groaned as i stretched my arms and legs next to him, “harry… you told me you wouldn’t work c’mon” i sit and place my head on his shoulder, “sorry, my ex wife sent me an email saying she wants the yacht for the 21st of august and i was telling her no because i got the yacht on the divorce”, my smile fades and it’s like i’m close to throw up, ex.. ex wife.. he was married? oh. “oh.. your ex?.. wife?”, he closes his laptop and places his hand on my thigh, “yeah, we got divorced 5 years ago” he squeezes my thigh as he speaks, “you don’t need to worry y/n.. 24 hours with you made me feel more alive than 2 years with her”, he kisses my forehead and i smile to myself, god what is this man doing to me, i’m here jealous over an ex wife and happy i won something she’s not even in the race for, “harry” i say, “yeah?”, “can we go back to marbella? i really want my clothes” he laughs and nods in agreement. 

~

back at the hotel, harry is sitting at the edge of my bed, “harry i’m not sure i should join you to golf.. you’re golfing with santiago hernandez, my literal boss!”, “and have u ever met him?”, “no he has never been to the london hotel in the 2 years i’ve worked there but that doesn’t mean it’s not weird” i turn my back to him, “zip my dress up, please?” i ask, he zips the yellow sundress up carefully, “y/n just join me, princess, if he asks just say you work for me”, “yes, because i’m a great wine expert!” i mock him as i gesture my hands, indicating that harry is insane. “i can always say you’re my wife, my very sexy wife”, he pulls me closer and buries his face in my boobs, “i can even mark you up, so he knows you’re all mine” i feel my panties soaking already, “harry.. fine! but just because it’s a very good argument” i try to hide the smile on my face, “but care to explain how are we married without wedding rings?” i raise his chin up, “we can always buy them”, “harry i have £64 on my account, i can maximum buy a claire’s ring that will turn my finger green” i give him a gentle peck, “oh no no you’re MY wife, i’m buying you a wedding band… if he asks your engagement ring is getting cleaned”, “you really thought this through, huh?”, “when it comes to you, i don’t see money, princess, i’m spoiling you for as long as you want me to” he kisses my neck, “about those marks… can i please?” i let out an “mhm”, i loved how harry constantly asked me for consent but at the same time was assertive and a couple of words would literally make me ruin a pair of panties. 

i looked in the mirror before leaving, noticing the hickey on my left boob, i tried to brush off my thoughts but i just couldn’t. harry was matching me, yellow pants and green polo, looking way too good for my thoughts to go away, i can’t play golf, in fact i think i’ve only played mini golf my entire life, “sweetpea, do you prefer gold or silver?” harry asks, looking at a collection of wedding bands, “i personally like gold more” i say, looking at a pair of golden hoops with daisies dangling from it, “do you like them?” harry looks over my shoulder, “yeah they’re pretty…. don’t even think about it” i give him a “mean” look, “fine! just choose the band you like the most” he says pointing at the golden wedding bands, “that one is pretty and simple”, “then that one it is”. he’s purchasing the wedding bands and i stand next to him just staring, “it’ll be those daisy earrings too”, he points and i gasp, “harry no?”, “y/n yes.. it’s my money, just let me get them.” he hands in a black card to the salesperson and i hold his free hand, still a little upset. harry drives us to the los naranjos golf club, before we get out of the car, each of us puts the wedding band, i feel so weird at first, i’ve never been a good liar and this was a big fucking lie. at the reception harry shows his membership to the club and then points at me, “she’s my wife”, i press my lips together so i don’t say something i shouldn’t and i stand there eyeing the red haired woman, “oh we can put your wife down for a membership”, she points at a computer screen, “maybe later, would that be okay?” harry’s arm is wrapped around my waist, tightly. “yeah of course, mr. styles, here’s your wife’s pass for the day”, she hands me a laminated pass that proves i can he there for the day and we make our way in, harry gripping onto my waist still, “oh hello harry” a tall man with brown hair a beige hat speaks up as he walks in our direction, “santiago! hey man”, i gulp, to be totally honest i had never seen the man that pays my paycheck so i just hold harry as well, hoping he does all the talking, “you got remarried?” santiago asks laying his eyes on me, “yeah dude, it was a very spontaneous thing but i couldn’t wait any longer”, harry smiles at me, “this is y/n.. y/n this is santiago” he introduces us and i reach my hand but santiago comes in for a kiss on each cheek, “it’s how we do it in spain” he exclaims. “will y/n be playing with us?” before harry can reply i let out a laugh, “god no i’ve never payed golf”, “play with us sweetpea, i’ll teach you”. 

“i’ve only ever played mini golf with my nephews”

“you have nephews?”

“yes two and they always lose”

“it would be bad if you lost mini golf to children don’t you think y/n?”

“oh yeah? i bet u a thousand kisses that i win mini golf back in london”

“you’re on, princess”

it’s been an hour and a half, i’m sitting on the golf cart, drinking a mojito as i wait for my turn to play, a woman that i assume is santiago’s wife is also sitting here, she’s not playing though, she’s on the phone talking about pta meetings and dentist appointments, she sometimes glances at me and does a very disgusted face, “y/n! baby! it’s your turn” harry screams, i place the mojito on the cart and i run to him, “help me?” i kiss him and he places himself behind me, “i know exactly what you are doing y/n and it’s not funny” he whispers in my ear and puts my arms in the correct angle, “be a good little girl for me, yeah?” harry then kisses my cheek and moves my arms so the club hits the little white ball. “i think santiago’s wife hates me” i mention it to harry, grabbing his hand, “what? why? did she say anything to you?” his relaxed expression is now a worried one, tensing his eyebrows, “no.. she just looks at me weird” i sigh, “is she.. friends with your ex wife?” i regret the question the moment i ask it, “yeah.. she is, i’m so sorry y/n, i didn’t even think about it when i asked you, she usually doesn’t even come to our games.. i’m really sorry, princess” i frown as he explains, his lips kiss my forehead, “it’s okay” i lie, walking back to the cart, drinking the rest of my mojito. 

harry’s pov

after the game y/n ran to the bathroom, the mojito really took a toll on her bladder, so i’m outside with santiago and phillipa, i feel tense just thinking that phillipa could’ve possibly mentioned lauren to y/n or mentioned y/n to lauren, “so harry, santiago told me you got remarried… i asked lauren and she had no idea” phillipa says with a cynical tone, “that’s because lauren is my ex wife, she doesn’t need to know what i do with my life” i snark back, “and isn’t your new wife.. kinda young” phillipa strikes again, santiago touches her arm and i breathe in, “she looks like she’s still university… oh wait she is! isn’t that weird, harry? marrying a woman that is maximum 24?” her words ringing in my ears, “phillipa mi amor, don’t” santiago says sternly, “what? santiago she’s much younger than him, would u go for a younger woman?”, “he’s divorced he can do whatever he wants, pipa, c’mon!”.

and then i see her, with two ice cream cups on her hand, “they had the absolutely disgusting mint chip” y/n hands me the cup, “yuck” she exclaims, “oh.. sorry guys i didn’t know what flavours you liked”, i don’t know how this woman does it, has me grabbed by the throat, completely whipped when i’ve known her for a little over 24 hours. “oh that’s okay y/n” santiago says, “pipa and i were just leaving… i’m sorry harry” he says as he shakes my hand and leaves, semi yelling at phillipa. “what happened?” y/n asks, grabbing a scoop of her pistachio ice cream, “nothing, want to go back to the hotel?”.

the next 5 days fly by, y/n moved her stuff into my room and we have been doing everything together, so much so we have not taken the wedding bands off, y/n asked if we could keep wearing them and i couldn’t say no, i could never say no to her. so we are now at the málaga airport, y/n is going through a romance section of books in english and telling me how she has read at least 90% of the books in there, “harry my tummy hurts, do you have any paracetamol with u?” she asks and i get out of my daydreamy state of mind, “i think i do, what’s wrong?” i open my tote bag and hand the tablet to y/n, “my period must be starting soon”, “oh nooo my sweet princess, do you want a kiss?” i don’t wait for her reply and start kissing her face, “are you sure you want to.. continue this back in london?”, “what? y/n, i’m so sure of this.. of us.. i’m still wearing a fake wedding band for you..i’m 100% sure.”

~

y/n’s pov 

life back in london has definitely been special, minus the fact that whenever i say i’m sleeping over at willow’s i actually mean i’m staying at harry’s and i use the name of his cat.. but other than that, things are good, harry presented me to some of his friends, goes to musicals with me, ended up meeting my younger sister milly, to drop off a christmas gift at my house, making my youngest sister jane force me to facetime harry on christmas day so she could meet him too, a very persuasive 15 year old.. and god the sex, i don’t think i’ve ever had this much fun in my life ever, this man just knows exactly how to treat me right, driving me completely insane at times.

6 months later 

today is harry’s birthday, i spent my morning in class and basically prayed the tube would be fast as fuck so i could be at harry’s house by lunch time, i got there around 2:13pm, starving, i opened harry’s apartment door and was greeted by willow, “oh hi my sweet girl” i say enthusiastically, “where’s your dad” i chase willow to the kitchen, harry is naked, only wearing an apron as he cooks what i bet it’s his tomato and beans pastry, “i don't know what looks better, my husband naked or your famous pastry” i giggle as i put my bags on the floor and run to kiss him, “happy birthday my love”, i kiss him again, “to your question, both are great things, second, thank you, princess” he kisses my forehead, “okay! i have your gifts, do you want to open them now?” i ask grabbing the bags i put on the floor, “three bags? y/n i told u to not spend money on me” his tone is demanding, almost mean, and i can’t help but love it, “oh one of these i have to put on and you take it off, ya know?” his eyes widened, “oh i do know” he smirks. harry’s gifts are an intimacy card deck for us to play on our stay in date nights, the lingerie set with hearts that he said and i’ll quote “would love to fuck you in this” so..i got it and an electric wine opener, personalised with his name, “fuck princess, you treat me so good” this kiss is more passionate than when i got home, “do you want me to put this on?” i question him, innocently, “yes fuck yeah baby please”.

sex with harry is always a religious experience, doesn’t matter if it’s morning, afternoon or night he always finds a way to exhaust the life out of me… in a very good way, harry is on his laptop looking for the same lingerie set, because even though i asked, he ripped the bra trying to get it off, my legs still feel wobbly, i check the time on my phone and it’s 5pm, our dinner reservation is only at 8pm so i have more than enough time to rest, i look at myself in the bathroom mirror, god i look like i’ve been through a tornado, i take my eyeliner (or the rest of it) off and brush my hair putting it on a ponytail, i pee and i go the bedroom to get a new pair of panties, “harry where’s my care bears robe?” i ask mid yawn, “behind the bathroom door, love” i nod and put the fake wedding band on my finger, i see harry smiling to himself, “oh shut up” i say walking into his bathroom again and putting on a dark pink robe with various care bears drawings that matched the care bears slippers, this was one of harry’s christmas gift to me, he said he had never met anyone that loved care bears as much as me, i smile at the memory. the doorbell rings and i get out of the bathroom, “get dressed harry it’s likely a friend of yours to wish you a happy birthday”, “oh when did you get so demanding”, “c’mooooon get dressed old man!”. 

i run downstairs and i open the door, “..you’re not harry” the woman grunts, “no….i’m his-“, “oh you’re the new wife.”, “um.. i’ll go get.. harry” i’m so confused by this woman i just rush upstairs again, “there’s a woman at the door” i sit in bed, petting willow, “a woman?”, “yeah.. mid 30s.. brunette.. brown eyes, gucci bag” i try and describe her, “oh” that’s all he says. “oh? why oh? who is that- oh” i put two and two together, i had always told harry i didn’t want to know who his ex wife was and that came right after me, “come with me, please, i don’t want to be with her alone” harry lets out a loud sigh, “of course harry” in reality i’m shitting myself. he goes ahead of me and she has made herself at home, sitting on the sofa, “what do you want, lauren?”, she gets up and goes to hug him but harry immediately stops her, “oh is that how you greet your ex-wife?.. didn’t take you for a rude person, harry. i guess your new wife has changed you” bitch, bitch, BITCH, is all i can think, my blood is boiling so hard, it feels illegal to be angry in care bear clothing. “you’re my ex wife for a reason, can you please tell me what the fuck do you want?” harry puts himself in front of me and i clench my fists out of anger, “came to wish you a happy birthday, baby”, “my god lady will you please get the fuck out” i yell, i don’t know where that came from but i feel angry and upset and close to beating her up if she doesn’t leave my home, i mean, harry’s home. “what? are you gonna let her speak to me like that?” she looks offended, good. “yes, get out of our home, now”… our home. our home.

harry and i don’t talk about what happened until we’re at the restaurant, he’s wearing a white shirt that isn’t buttoned all the way up, black pants with golden buttons and black loafers, he had a big heavy black coat on top that is now on the back of his chair, i’m wearing a ruffled light blue dress with spaghetti straps, the dress reaches my mid thigh and it’s freezing in february so i have tights on, my white doctor martens and a puffy jacket that is on my chair as well. he holds my hand on top of the table, “y/n.. i only love you, please know that.. well you and willow”, “i love you so much harry, i’m sorry this day isn’t your best birthday”, “don’t be silly, i spent 38 dreadful birthdays, i’m glad 39th is with the love of my life.” harry orders the wine for us, as usual, we both happen to go for pasta dishes… which let’s be honest is also the usual, “harry i’m gonna go to the bathroom, okay?” he nods as he’s munching on garlic bread. as i get out of the bathroom i see my older brother, angus,  standing in front of me, “angus??? what the fuck” i whisper-yell at him, “y/n? what are you doing here? did mum and dad invite u?” that question almost made me die in front of him, “mum and dad are here?? fuck no! angus, angus do not tell them i’m here please! i’ll babysit jacob and matthew anytime u ask me to, u don’t even have to pay me anything” i’m desperate at this point, “heeeeeeeeey okay that’s a very big promise y/n.. oh good lord are you here with that older guy? IS THAT A WEDDING BAND” he just yelled that to the entire restaurant, “angus shut up!” as i yell back to my brother. i see my dad staring at the both of us causing a scene in a restaurant, my dad just recently got remarried…to his husband… paul and things in the family haven’t been easy, especially between him and my mum, which led him to flee the table looking for my brother for some peace, “y/n cookie, what are you doing here?”, “dad i’m here with my boyfriend but can u please, please not tell mummy?” i hope he can sense the panic in my voice because i’m literally about to throw up. “okay cookie, breathe love” my dad side hugs me, brushing his fingers through my cheek, “angus and i won’t tell mummy okay? go enjoy your dinner, cookie” i breathe out the air i was holding in and go back to the table. “i was going to look for you, y/n, i was getting worried” harry sits back down, “why are you shaking, what’s wrong?”, “my brother, my dad, my nephews…and my mum are all here..we are so fucked harry, my brother saw the wedding band and i’m pretty sure my dad did too but he promised not to say anything to my mum………..that is walking in our direction right now” this is it. i’m fucked. i’m so fucked, i don’t even know why i’m fucked at almost 24 but i’m fucked because i hid my relationship with a man 16 years my senior from my entire family but my siblings and i’m fucked. “y/n y/s/n y/l/n why are your brother and your father trying to lie to me? who is this?” oh god, i only have time to hide my hand under the table and breathe in and out. “hi mummy… um i.. this is harry” i’m stuttering, “hello ms y/l/n” harry gets up and stares at her, not knowing exactly what to do, “and what are you to my daughter?”, “i’m.. her boyfriend”, “y/n what is this?” i try to speak but nothing comes out of my mouth, i had nothing planned, i was thinking of maybe introducing harry to my family on my birthday party so it would be easier, “um.. uh.. well.. you know.. he..” i take my hand from under the table and hide my face in both my hands. bad idea. “oh my god, you got married to this man? how old are you? 50?” she starts yelling and i feel small, if i didn’t have words before now i just don’t want to be here anymore, my brother is trying to calm her down, harry is explaining they’re promise rings and he’s 39 which in my mum’s head is now 50 and my dad is holding the twins by the hand.

what. a. fucking. birthday. 

i’m sitting on a bench, crying, harry is talking with my brother and my nephews and my parents are sat, one on each side, “amelia, let me do the talking, okay?” my dad snaps at my mum, “we just got expelled from a restaurant because of you, let ME do the talking” i had never seen my father this mad, “cookie, i understand your mum’s point by seeing you with a much older man, but i don’t understand why you didn’t come to us”, he’s now doing the cheek thing again, “because mum would make the exact same scene and harry would just see me as the stupid little girl that still needs her parents approval though she’s 23” i pout, i truly feel like a child with my reactions, “listen y/n.. i didn’t mean to cause a scene, bubs, i saw the rings and you know harry looks much older than you and i thought he was trying to hurt you” i swallow my tears, “how.. how long have you been dating this man”, “since august”, “AUGUST?”, “yes i’m so sorry”, i let my tears out again, “no, y/n don’t say sorry.. i feel so hurt with myself that you didn’t felt like it was safe to tell us for 6 months.. do milly and jane know?” when she mentions my younger sisters my expression changes from sad to guilty, “angus, milly and jane all knew… but only milly met harry”, “milly met harry?”, “yeah harry dropped off my christmas present at home and milly was the one that helped him…remember my friend willow.. the one i sleep over a lot and got me the care bears robe.. well willow is the name of harry’s cat” i just sat there in silence, i looked over at harry and the twins and i was no longer listening to my parents, “harry” i call out, “please come meet my mum and dad”. 

i get up and stand next to him, “mummy, dad, this is harry, my boyfriend” i hold his hand tightly, playing with his wedding band.. i frown my eyebrows, i had never realised, his band was engraved with our initials.

the end (or not)

taglist: @psicostyles@behindmygreyeyes@your-local-lesbian-on-lexapro@mvaldez7821@tiktokandtvismylife @silvermistwannabe @harrysgoldenhome @subbbyharry @buckybarnessimpp@gabshouse @sassqwn @thegirlnextdoorssister @theanxietyqueen17 @michellekstyles

cloudburst

summary: preschool teacher!harry x special education teacher!yn; y/n and harry met while working together at a preschool, y/n is engaged but her fiancé has been distancing himself from y/n, making her spend more time with harry, wishing she was marrying him instead

warnings: bits of angst, mention of miscarriage, cheating, drinking, swearing, death

word count: 3.1k

part 2

people usually say london is gloomy and grey, to y/n autumn and winters in london are the prettiest seasons she’s ever lived, today is october 10th, it’s a saturday, y/n likes to take her saturdays to prepare her classes for the week but the cold weather has gotten her in a big slump, her bullet journal remains untouched, her class paperwork remains just as she left it the night before, a mess and unorganised and most importantly, she’s still in her care bear matching purple pyjamas, drinking her coffee staring at the window out of her paddington flat. today is a particularly wet day, the street is almost creating a river with the amount of rain it poured the entire night, y/n is very observant, she’s now staring at these two girls smoking a cigarette right outside a mobile company store, “amor, estás mirando el vácio de nuevo” (love you’re staring at nothing again), tony whispers right in her ear, “oh perdona! i was just looking at the people”, she yawns and sips on her coffee again, followed by a kiss in her fiancé’s lips. 

y/n has lived in london for about 6 years now and tony for 10 years but they only moved in together 3 years ago as y/n finished her masters and about a year ago y/n’s younger sister joey moved in as well. the loss of their mum really took a toll on both of them and y/n felt the need to keep joey close to her as she is only 20 and y/n is 24, their age gap isn’t insane but as joey says, “y/n pays the bills and i sit pretty”, they’re the best of friends and have very similar personalities even though they are completely differently physically. joey has dropped out of university and got a job at waterstones, she absolutely adores it, she reads a lot, gets an employee’s discount and people ask her for her own opinion on certain books and what she would recommend. as for tony he works for as y/n says the enemy, he’s a software engineer at facebook and is pushing 30 during the summer. 

y/n is turning 24 on the 24th of october, has a degree in education and a masters in special education, growing up y/n was never diagnosed with adhd or emotional disturbance, making her poor parents be called every single week to school because y/n didn’t behave like teachers expected her too, into her teens things only got worse, making y/n resent school, her parents and even the stuff she has always liked which led to her parents looking for help once again, even then doctors didn’t really want to believe a shy teen like y/n had adhd or any chemical imbalance. eventually y/n and her parents travelled to london to talk to an specialist, after a few tests and a few times asking y/n questions that seemed so simple, they confirmed what y/n and her parents had been 17 years waiting for. life after being diagnosed and finding medication that worked and having less reasons to burst into flames, things really got better, getting into education, having her first sexual experience, getting tattoos, getting a nose ring, not worrying about her weight, actually meeting people she loved and making friends.. things slowly felt right for our y/n, until last year, y/n’s mum was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer that took her faster than anyone in y/n’s family would expect, it’s something y/n still is yet to digest, sometimes she still rings her mum to mention something that happened to her, being followed by a “this number is no longer in service” automatic voice, remembering her of everything leading to an hour or two of grief hitting her like a train. 

her first year of working as a teacher was weird, she shared her classroom with harry, a guy teaching his second set of students, he has just said goodbye to kids he had spent the last 3 years with and was constantly shedding a tear or two during the first month of classes, eventually they got closer due to all the kid snot they gave cleaned and time spent organising certain classes that they could do together, harry felt so comfortable around y/n he even started falling asleep during nap time as well. in many ways harry has been y/n’s best friend during the last year, harry always felt like he was never in a place of disrespecting her engagement ring but his heartbeat quickly changes around y/n, his palms sweaty and he’s almost slurring words when he’s close to her but even then he promised himself he wouldn’t be the person to break off an engagement, especially after y/n and tony going through a miscarriage last august, he has never seen y/n so out of herself and without the big homely smile she always carries on her lips, he chooses to stay forever doomed in the friendzone and loving her in ways no one will ever find out. they also soon found out y/n and tony are super close with harry’s best friend, niall, creating a little outing group that welcomed joey with open arms when she moved to london with y/n.

harry’s heart broke anytime his eyes caught the good side of y/n and tony, he can’t help but wish them to break up, even if he thinks it unconsciously, he can feel his heart slow down when they kiss or when y/n runs to tony’s arms after winning one mini golf round, he has never loved anyone like this, like he has gotten his life on track and he can’t even share his love for her to the world, he however shared all this love one very drunken night, niall and harry had way too many tequila shots for niall’s birthday in september and his heart couldn’t handle keeping his deepest secret inside anymore, the one time harry didn’t slur or filtered his thoughts, niall listened thinking it was a silly crush, his heart broke too seeing his best friend complete infatuated with a girl that was planning her wedding and worst of all, had just lost a kid that wasn’t planned but wanted. they never spoke of that night ever again, niall keeps his best friend’s secret even more secret, he even tried setting harry up with multiple people, he got along with one guy so well, niall even had a sparkle of hope that quickly burned down when harry knocked at his door, crying over loving someone he couldn’t have.

niall suggested harry changing classes, harry quickly dismissed that idea, not only for the kids but for him, even though his heart felt like breaking, the more time he spent with y/n the more healed he felt, she’s a healer, not only to him but to a class filled with children that cry and miss their mums and y/n always has a kind word to say and a tight hug to give, he couldn’t bring himself to let that go, to let her go, maybe one day, just not today.

back to y/n’s day, she’s opening the drapes in joey’s bedroom, “nooooo y/n please it’s my day off” a tired joey groans, y/n rolls her eyes at her little sister that has their father’s laziness, “c’mon jo! you promise we’d get brunch at that new australian brunch place on your day off!!” the eldest says pulling the covers, making joey push y/n, “Y/N STOOOOOOP! wait…food.. okay!” joey sits in bed, looking at her older sister with teary eyes, y/n doesn’t have to say anything, just embrace joey and stay silent for a minute, a greater pain shared yet none of the two have spoken about their feelings about it, they just knew they understood whatever was going on in their hearts. “i love you joey poo poo”, “not joey poo poo!”.

y/n and joey left the house, y/n and joey are polar opposites when it comes to outfits, y/n is wearing a light pink longsleeve with 3 little buttons and a darker pink long skirt with multiple flowers in orange, white and red, beige ankle boots and a catching cardigan she knit herself, as for joey, she’s in all black, black turtleneck, black mom jeans, black dr martens and a huge black coat that once belonged to their father in the 1990’s. their parents used to say they’re always on the opposite side of the subject but that’s not entirely true, they have their differences but they’re overall, usually… at times in agreement, both of them hate tea, read way too many books for their own good and can’t function without a cup of coffee. so brunch goes smoothly, until joey starts with her more than known discourse against tony, they’ve never gotten along and deep down joey is just hoping he leaves y/n’s life so she can set her sister up with harry, “why couldn’t he come with us, huh? like whatever facebook needs is more important than taking your fiancée out for brunch?” joey speaks in an awful loud tone, making y/n sigh and gesture her to volume down a bit, “joey… he has to work! i would never be mad at him for working” y/n says cutting her pancake up, “you’re never mad at him! like i know you’re supposed to get married but he’s a real pain in the ass” joey’s tone is quieter this time, she worries hence saying these things to her sister, she understands he was there when their mum passed and understands y/n needing him after the miscarriage but she won’t understand how her best friend could possibly be in love with a dudebro. “joey. i know you don’t like him but please try and get to know him before the wedding, please?” y/n’s eyes are always kind but this time there was worry in them, worry that without her sister’s support and her mother not there she would simply not be able to do it. “fine. but he better get me all the books i want.”

monday

harry sees her, in black boyfriend jeans and a flowy white longsleeve with a vest with large brown and beige squares and white trainers, she’s holding some papers and attentively reading on her laptop, he can’t help but love these little moments alone with her, even if they don’t say much to each other before the swarm of kids walks in. “hey y/n. how was your weekend?”, harry gives her a shy smile awaiting her response, "hi harry! oh it was okay, i tried that aussie brunch place u told me about last week! i had pancakes and eggs benedict, thank you for recommending it to me", harry's stomach fills up with butterflies to her taking his suggestion, he can't help but ask, "did you go with tony?", y/n sees his question as harmless as they usually all hang out together, "no! joey had a day off so we went together and then we went to waterstones, i've had the unhoneymooners on my to read list for so long i just had to buy it!" she's very enthusiastic about the books she's currently reading, harry, joey and her even read the same book at times and then proceed to have really loud discussions in y/n's kitchen while drinking red wine. "yeah you've been telling me about that book since last year y/n, i might get it so we can talk about it!" y/n brushed off the feelings she had for harry, she nodded and got her nose back in her laptop, working on a worksheet about the story she would read later today, "llama llama misses mama".

at 8:50 kids start running into the classroom and the day goes on smoothly actually, they haven’t had accidents or sobbing moments of “i miss my mummy” so as lunch time approaches y/n and harry take it easy as the swarm of kids follow the path to the cafeteria, they usually eat lunch together inside the classroom, y/n always thinks of harry when it comes to lunch, last night she made a veggie quiche and stored two containers, last year, they knew each other for about two weeks when y/n shared her beetroot risotto with him, ever since if they don't share they at least try each other's meals, literally like their preschoolers do. "i don't know how you make quiches taste this good, y/n" harry says stuffing his face, "breathe harry, i have more quiche if you want!" y/n giggles to the sight in front of her, heart sinking a little bit thinking of her sister's words, in fact tony is never excited to eat her food or even cares if y/n tries a new recipe, ever since the miscarriage it's like she doesn't know the person she is supposed to get married to. harry noticed the smile on her face fading away and the fork gently put next to the stainless steel container, "are you okay?" harry asks, placing his hand closer to y/n's, "oh um.. it's nothing har, it's okay", "i know you y/n.", "i'm just.. worried tony doesn't love me anymore.". i could tell you these are the words harry wants to hear, in fact he dreamed of her saying it's over between her and tony but he couldn't even have a happy thought in his mind about it, seeing y/n like that just hurt in ways he never thought his heart could possibly hurt. "what are you talking about? he proposed to you.. i'm sure you don't propose to someone you don't love", "sorry.. it's just.. a rough patch i guess", harry moved his hand again, this time brushing his fingers through her arm, "i know i'm not your go to love expertise guy but talk to tony? he's your fiancé after all..", y/n rested her head on harry's shoulder, "adulting is hard", "do you think that's why we're pre school teachers?", "could be".

harry enjoyed y/n's sort of need of reassurance and closed his eyes, just sitting in silence as he held y/n in his arms, neither of them noticed the little girl walking into class with a cute pink dress and pig tails, a loud gasp coming from her making y/n and harry immediately sit down properly, "u two marry?" the little girl, macy, asks still with a shocked face and walking towards them, harry choked up trying to find words for the little girl, y/n quickly replies, "well macy, friends hug too you know?" but macy wasn't buying it, repeating that harry and y/n were actually married, they didn’t want to laugh in front of the little girl but definitely laughed over it later after classes ended.

once harry got home, he sat on the sofa and turned on his tv, he couldn’t focus on what was on, in reality he couldn’t stop thinking about what y/n had said just a few hours ago, he deep down knew tony was no good, a real asshole and he was willing to prove that to y/n, he just didn’t know how to do it without hurting her, which is the last thing he would ever want to do. he unlocked his phone and opened a groupchat he has with niall and joey, one that joey created to talk shit about tony without y/n’s stern looks or “c’mon joey give him a chance” over and over again.

harry

so.. joey don’t tell y/n i told you this

she said she thinks tony doesn’t love her anymore

she was an absolute wreck today

joey

WHAT

THAT ASSHOLE

niall

what??? what happened?

harry

she didn’t tell me what had happened

she just said she thought he didn’t love her anymore

it absolutely broke my heart

joey

PLANNING HIS DEATH RN DO NOT HMU

niall

jo. don’t go to jail please

joey

well. i want to kill him.

harry

count me in on the plan

joey knocks on y/n’s bedroom, tony is still at work so she thinks this is the perfect opportunity to get something out of y/n, as she opens the door y/n is with her chunky headphones, the laptop screen had an article on music and children in the autistic spectrum, as well as a word document of y/n’s little notes on the book she’s reading. joey taps on y/n’s shoulder, “jesus christ joey!” y/n jumps in her seat, “are you okay?” she asks, removing her headphones and placing them on top of her notebooks. “i could ask you that… you always want to watch ted lasso with me when you get home and you’ve barely said anything to me today… did i do something wrong?” joey’s words are truthful, as much as she thinks she didn’t do anything, she can’t help but wonder if her never liking tony made her sister not trust her. “joey no! sit down for me, please?”, joey does, “look..i’m just having a hard day, i can’t help but think tony is going to break up with me sooner than later, i don’t know what changed.”

but this writer can tell you what changed, the night y/n lost her baby, tony was there, every second of the hard moment both of them were living, they mourned together, tony felt the pain of losing a child with y/n, but after that day he couldn’t look at y/n the same, he started sleeping with other women and spending time “in the office” when in reality… the office was flats of girls just right outside of london. in reality nothing had really changed to tony, and joey was right, he is not worth of y/n, he had texted and been with other people the entire time he has been dating y/n but that day something truly shifted and he went ahead with physical cheating. this writer can also tell you, he never broke up with y/n because he knows he has a house, clean clothes and food and he’s selfish like that. for whatever’s worth, because this is a story of love, there’s no way that he ends up winning.

“oh my god y/n… why would you keep this to just yourself?”

“i don’t know”

“do u want us to find a new apartment?”

“i don’t want to run away”

“then talk to him”

“what if he hates me for losing our baby”

“y/n…”

“he could”

“if he does he’s even worse than i had thought”

please do tell me if u want to be tagged for the next parts!

sunbeam

prompt: ballerina!yn x barista!harry, y/n is a ballerina and harry works at the café in the same building, both have a little crush on each other

warnings: fluff, mentions of ed, christmas

word count: 1.7k

part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5

the pointe shoes clicked and clacked around her, she was sitting down still wearing her leather split soles with ribbons. most of the girls in this class were more advanced than y/n, this was her fourth month in this ballet class for adults, truth be told the first time y/n walked into the ballet class she was looking for the yoga room, right next door, but the teacher was nice and convinced her to try at least just one class.

so here she is in a pink maillot, pink tights, beige wrap skirt and the beige coloured sole shoe with matching ribbons, her hair is up in a bun with her curtain bangs falling out, the brown warm-up shrug sat on top of her dance bag. outside, london was covered in rain, y/n could shiver just thinking about walking to the tube in this weather, she quickly smiled to herself thinking about getting a latte downstairs from the cute barista.

harry. harry is his name, he has messy curly brown hair, usually partly up with a black clip, he is tall, like way too tall compared to y/n that says she’s 153cm but she’s actually 3cm shorter than that, he is always singing while making orders, y/n thinks he sounds like an angel, she also thinks it’s the most cliché thought she’s ever had. 

he has the schedule of the classes on his phone, he likes to know when y/n is coming, his heart fluttered when she came in the other day to work, he peeked a little and asked her what she was doing, he learned that y/n was a photographer and her latest project was women from various ages and their portraits, from a 6 year old to a 81 year old. he was so intrigued, he wanted to be a writer, a poet even but would find himself without a single thought in his mind and a blank page in front of him. so he envied y/n for a hot minute, for being a photographer and a ballerina and for keeping his mind racing thinking of her… most of the time.

the class ended and y/n put her skirt and sole shoes in the dance bag, dressed a pair of white sweatpants, white sneakers and the brown warm-up shrug, holding a big brown coat on her arm, to be only worn once she left the building. the other ballerinas ran outside to smoke, y/n hasn’t been able to befriend none of them, mostly by lack of trying, she liked her own little cosy space and getting out of her shell wasn’t easy. also she doesn’t smoke. or has even tried. the feeling of being out of place is always there, the pointe shoes, the smoking and her maillot being a size extra large.

“if i have to make another special christmas baby jesus toasted white mocha i’m quite literally going to commit a crime so big” harry sighed to his co-worker, charlie, “y’might want to calm down harry, your ballerina is coming downstairs right now”, harry immediately turned around, trying to fluff his hair and accidentally hitting the black clip, “fucking christ”, he whimpered hoping she hadn’t seen his stupid moment. “hello harry” she smiled at him still gripping onto the dance bag. “y/n! i didn’t know you were coming today” liar. “d’ya want your usual? please don’t ask me for a santa inspired drink i’m so tired of those”, y/n just smiled at the man in front of her, he was usually expressive and that was something that got her hooked. “actually, can you make me an oat milk hot cocoa? it looks freezing out and i need a boost before i go on the tube” harry looked to the glass doors to make sure the weather was still shit and then mouthed a small okay. 

 “y/n i was wondering, would it be okay if we exchanged numbers? i mean, i want to ask you out and fuck i mean-“ harry’s words are slurring in front of her, she’s still drinking her hot cocoa in a heart shaped mug and so is harry, taking his 10 minute break to just make a fool out of himself in front of y/n. “when do you wanna go out?” she says placing the mug back on the table trying to look calm and collected. “are you free tonight?” 

harry had never seen y/n out of her ballet clothes, he had tried looking for her on instagram but it seemed impossible having only her first name and knowing she lives in london, he was so eager to see her coming out of the convent garden station, “not nervous shits, not now” he thought to himself, he was leaning on a lamp post, to y/n this was a scene out of a 00s brit rom-com, indulged them so much as a child she now craved a story like that for herself.

speeding up the stairs from the tube, she was wearing a silk pink dress with a square neck and long sleeves, flowing to her wrists, sheer tights and cognac platform mary janes, the same long brown coat from earlier today, on top a light brown shoulder bag, matching her shoes. harry was wearing dark brown pants with lighter brown stripes and a rosy beige shirt with the same light brown stripes, y/n could see him from inside the station, he was adjusting his almost to the feet long black coat and rubbing his hands to try and warm them up a bit.

then he saw her, loose hair with long curls that fell on her shoulders like pieces of a puzzle, walking up to him with a smile on her face, he took close attention to all details about her, the lipstick that matched the dress, her eyeliner that he would swear it has to have taken her forever to do and the pink leg warmers he knew so hell peeking out of her shoulder bag. “hey! can we please walk to the place? it’s freezing and i didn’t have where to sit on the tube to put my leg warmers on”, he was still mind fucked about her presence, she was like a sunbeam on the london dark rainy evening, “hello…. yeah, do you want my help? ..for the leg warmers? i can hold your stuff”, harry felt little, even thought he was 30 centimetres taller than the girl in front him. 

-

harry was on cloud nine learning about this girl, she was also a vegetarian, making his little heart do flutters at a shared love for animals, she has a cat named oli, she thought oli was a boy and named it oliver so y/n changed the name to oli, harry also has a cat, a little patched tabby cat named poppy. “what is speaking to you?” harry asks pointing at the menu, “ummm the fiori di zucca repieni di ricotta sounds too good to pass on, do you wanna share?” his mouth opened, speechless, “you speak italian?” he asked, “yeah i did erasmus in rome!” she said enthusiastically, “i trust you, let’s share then” 

the dinner was filled with laugher, lots of sharing their food and drinking really good wine, they even shared a pistachio gelato afterwards, even though it was freezing out and the news had mentioned a possible storm. “do you ever think.. of what you want to do outside of being a barista?” y/n asked, her hand was intertwined with harry’s as they walked outside convent garden market, “oh all the time, i really want to be a writer, a poet. my muse just has been asleep lately, every time i try to write it’s like my mind gets blank”  he’s honest, writing has been the last thing on his mind, working part time at the café as well as doing a little freelancer for some newspapers and magazines harry has little to no time to fully write, “it’s a curse being creative harry, i get it. i really do.” they’re walking past the royal opera house and y/n stops, lets go of harry's hand and just stares, as a child it was a dream to be part of the royal ballet and perform right there, instead she takes an adult class with other people that couldn’t attain that dream. she doesn’t resent herself or the dreams she used to have, she loves her life right now, it’s just that little tingly feeling of tiny y/n wanting this so badly.

“what are you thinking about y/n?” harry asked, placing the now lonely hand on her back, gently caressing it, "sorry, i just haven't walked past the royal opera in a bit", y/n turned to harry with an it's okay look on her face and grabbed his hand again, "dance for me", harry blurred out, he didn't really filter his thoughts at this point of the night, he wanted to see her dance so badly his heart was finally speaking over his brain, "right here? in the middle of the street?" y/n is a little perplexed but the idea grows inside of her.

they're now at harry's house, y/n opened spotify on her phone and pressed play on better version by sabrina claudio, this isn't what she usually dances to but she feels free with harry, taking her shoes off, standing barefoot in harry's cedar coloured carpet.

i made the perfect you in my head, cause physically you are the blue print

her hips moved to the rhythm and she found herself repeating what she had been rehearsing fot the last four months in class, harry was mesmerised, not that she was the greatest ballerina in the world but she was to him, he could not get his eyes off of her, following the movement attentively, almost like burning this moment on his brain so he would never forget, the core memory of actually falling in love with this girl

when the song ends, harry pulls y/n to his lap and just whispers sweet nothings in her ear, brushing his fingers through her arms and hair, just enjoying her late night company, he's a hopeless romantic and has been finding the right moment to kiss her and tell, tell everyone possible in the world that he has kissed such a pretty girl it has the pasta on his stomach doing flips. 

"can i kiss you?"

"fuck yes please"

cloudburst 2

summary: preschool teacher!harry x special education teacher!yn; y/n and harry met while working together at a preschool, y/n is engaged but her fiancé has been distancing himself from y/n, making her spend more time with harry, wishing she was marrying him instead

warnings: mention of miscarriage, cheating, swearing, death, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it)

word count: 3.3k

part 1

it was 3am when tony got home, to his luck, y/n was in joey’s bedroom, dead asleep after mixing her sleeping pills with a shot of tequila to make sure she’s at least sleeping the whole night, joey in the other hand was tossing and turning, pickles, the tabby cat that belonged to the two sisters, was clearly bothered by joey’s lack of stillness, getting comfortable in between y/n’s legs. when joey heard the door she could feel her blood boil, she knew it had to be her sister to say something and yell but god she wanted to slap him and tell him to leave so badly.

but she didn't.

it was now morning, y/n yawned and rubbed her eyes, looking at her sister still dead asleep, she got up carefully to not wake joey nor pickles up, covering joey up after leaving the bed. the house was silent and her bed unmade, she assumed tony didn't sleep home and that hurt her heart, how her husband to be just completely changed his behaviour and she didn't know who she was marrying anymore. regardless, y/n got ready for work putting on black sweatpants that matched the black sweatshirt and her hair up in a ponytail, this wasn't usual for y/n, she likes dressing cute or finding clothes that would get the children happy like bunnies or cats, but today was just one of those days that y/n felt like a cloud was over her head and her head only.

as she got to school harry was already there, his moustache was more fluffy than usual and his hair messy and some curls covering part of his face, he is wearing a colourful knitted pullover and black jeans with his usual worn out beige from time trainers, his eyes immediately sparkled when he saw her, “good morning!” he says with a smile, “i got you something”, he hands her a paper bag with a red bow to her, “but my birthday isn’t for another 2 weeks harry”, y/n stated, “i know, i just um.. well, i know you love lang leav so i got a signed copy of lullabies for you” and it’s true, harry had searched he entire internet on how to get a signed copy of y/n’s favourite book for her, “oh my god harry… and you wrote me a note?”, “oh god don’t read it” but she did.

“y/n, thank you for being one of my best friends and always covering me up when i fall asleep on my desk. you’re the most special person i’ve ever met.

love,

harry”

“thank you harry… this is really special… like major special, i think this might be the best gift i’ve ever gotten after joey finding our cat pickles cosied up in waterstones” y/n embraced harry, “sometimes i wish i was marrying you instead” she whispered against his body, “did you say something?” harry questioned, “no, no.. sorry”, he heard it though, he heard it and for half a second he felt it in his heart… that he actually had a chance at y/n’s heart. their day went on as usual, divided the class in groups and focused mainly on art today, finger painting and shapes. for a moment y/n was at peace, her, harry and a bunch of sweet kids. when the classes ended, macy’s mum walked in with a frown on her face and walked up immediately to harry, that to every effect was macy’s teacher, “hello mr styles, i need to have a word with you and ms y/l/n if you don’t mind.” she was assertive, tall and looked like she was close enough to murder both harry and y/n. “oh yes of course, is everything okay with macy?.. um y/n can you come here”, y/n got up from her chair and walked towards them, keeping an eye on little macy that was sitting, waiting for her mum to grab her hand and leave. “so, my daughter tells me you two are together? is this true? because it’s very serious if you’re kissing in front of my daughter.” macy’s mum almost yells, “excuse me? as we told macy yesterday, we hugged because one of my special education students has a fear of hugging and i was showing him it was okay plus mr. styles is my friend and as we told macy friends hug each other, right macy?” y/n is the kindest person people will meet but she always knows when to speak up for herself and especially speak up for her students, “right ms y/l/n! keith hug u too”, the little girl speaks, “keith is a little boy in the autism spectrum that loves hugging his family but feared hugging me even though he wanted to. so no mr. styles and i are not in a relationship and if we were it would have been approved by the school”, harry has a stupid smirk on his face, proud of y/n for speaking the truth. “oh jesus i’m so sorry, macy just really made it sound inappropriate”, “she has a big imagination” harry adds.

back at home, as y/n steps foot in her bedroom she sees tony removing his tie, "oh.. hey", he says, looking in the mirror, "can we talk tony?", y/n requested as she sat down next to him in bed, "sure? i don't have much time i need to change for drinks with my boss”, tony replied, "listen, i don't know what changed, but i need you to be honest with me here tony, you barely spend anytime home, you barely touch my food when i cook, you don't touch me, we haven't had sex in two months, at first you said i was still fragile but what's the excuse now? you don't kiss me, you don't tell me you love me, you have stopped giving ideas for our wedding day.. do you even want to get married?" y/n snapped, she had those words stuck in her throat for a while now, "y/n.." tony sighs, "couldn't you have waited for me to come back from work?", the dismissal in his voice almost sends y/n through the fucking roof. "excuse me? who do you think you're talking to, antonio? i'm not some client you're upset with for some stupid reason i'm supposedly your future wife!" y/n hates raising her voice, but she's yelling at this point, “c'mon. let's talk after dinner.", his words sound even colder now, "no. let's talk now! look me in my fucking eyes." tony had never seen y/n like this and deep down he feared what she could do next. "y/n vamos a tener calma por favor (let's be calm please)", "don't tell me to calm down! i won't calm down until you tell me what the fuck changed!", "JESUS CHRIST I'M FUCKING SOMEBODY ELSE! THERE ARE YOU FUCKING HAPPY Y/N? AND NOT JUST THIS GIRL BUT MULTIPLE OTHERS BECAUSE YOU LOOKED HORRIBLE AFTER THE MISCARRIAGE-", "get out", "y/n!", "don't bother coming back."

the house was silent for awhile, joey had heard everything from the other room but was too scared to approach y/n and worse, seeing her sister like that, joey swallowed her tears and gently pushed the door of y/n's room, y/n is sitting in bed cutting up all of tony's clothes, not even crying, just destroying everything of tony's that happened to cross her eyes. "in any other moment i'd tell u you should have done this sooner but.. um.. do you want to talk.. about it?" joey sits next to her sister, "he cheated on me... multiple times", y/n agonised, she was saying words she would never expect to say, especially about the man she was marrying in less than 4 months, "i couldn't even defend myself.. i just told him to get out", that's when the tears started forming in y/n's eyes, dreading that she had to go and live her life after finding out her soon-to-be-husband had multiple affairs, the house became silent again, joey, for the first time in her life, had no words to say to her sister and was just resting her head on y/n's, hoping silence would be the perfect answer on a moment like this. “joey… i’m gonna catch some air.. if you don’t mind” but y/n found herself following her usual route to school, almost unconsciously looking for harry, in the moment she didn’t want anyone else nor talk to anybody else, just him.

y/n didn't care anymore, she could feel her feet moving towards harry as his lips moved, he was worried about her but she couldn't answer or even think of an answer, she simply didn't care about keeping her decorum and being a good fiancé anymore, she likes harry, she knows she does. it's almost all in slow motion for y/n, the 20 seconds it took her to walk towards harry felt like 5 minutes, and the way their lips crashed felt like an eternity, but this time to both of them. harry's hands placed on y/n's lower back, and their tongues intertwined as one, harry's moustache was a good add-on to the kiss, y/n thought, it tickled but in a good way, harry's brain was almost empty, he couldn't actually process what was happening right on his desk but he didn't care either, he had been living this moment in his mind for such a long time he doesn't really give a fuck if it's a mistake or not, he has the woman of his dreams wrapped around him, all his.

"y/n." harry interrupted the kiss, his mouth opened as he hesitated in his next words, "as much as i'm enjoying this you... you're getting married-" y/n put her indicator over his mouth, shushing him, "harry.. i want this.. please" y/n whispered, "tony has been cheating on me and i'm done pretending i'm not into you and i don't crave you, i'm done pretending i don't wish i was marrying you instead", both of them remained silent after her statement, harry's thumb caressed y/n's cheek in disbelief, disbelief that she got cheated on, disbelief that she was there in front of him confessing some type of love for him, "harry... i'm sorry if i look like i'm using you that's totally not what i want, i can leave if you want" y/n added, "no. god no. please stay... with me"

our couple kept kissing, kissing like it’s the end of the world and they want to enjoy their last few minutes together, y/n's legs wrapped around harry's waist, he stood tall, one hand holding y/n and the other trying to find the keys of the nurse's office, they honestly had so much tension between them they could do it right there, but even in the middle of so much lust they hadn't forgotten where they were, in their workplace, where a kid who forgot a pencil or a parent picking a forgotten jacket could walk in at any moment. harry's eyes lit up as y/n suggested minutes before "we can always do it in the nurse's office" leading them to here.

harry finally reached the key handing it to y/n, he grabbed a condom as well putting him in the left back pocket of his black jeans. "good lord i don't think i can make it to the office" harry exclaimed, he could feel his briefs squeezing his cock, grunting and sighing with his forehead against y/n's.

the nurse's office is silent, the walls are painted in a light blue with multiple cartoon drawings sticked to the walls, as well as drawing's made to the school's nurse, harry tenderly placed y/n on top of one of the beds in the room, locking the door behind him. "y/n...are you sure you want to do this?" harry questioned, to harry consent was key, but this time even more considering they were quite literally homewrecking. "fuck me harry, please", her eyes were filled with lust, her hands now unbuttoning the white top she has on, as well as unzipping the midi light purple silk skirt, "such an eager girl aren't you? fuck, such nice tits" his lips immediately met y/n's neck leaving love bites all over her cleavage, her skirt fell to the ground, leaving her pussy barely covered by a sheer white lace, harry's hands travel all over her body stopping near the already so wet area, as his fingers placed directly on her clit she couldn't help but whimper, "is this good" harry's voice was slightly deeper than usual still caring but somewhat assertive, y/n couldn't pronounce any words already, harry's fingers attached to her clit, rubbing and pinching, she cried out an almost inaudible "yes" in the middle of the gasps and moans, "couldn't hear you sweet pea, what did you say? can't continue if you don't talk to me." he removed his fingers from the white lace making y/n cry one more time, the loss of touch worked wonderfully as a motivation for y/n to speak, “that was so good, please don’t stop” y/n purred, grabbing harry's hand, placing it exactly where he left off. "good girl" he crooned removing his hand right after, "actually... let me take care of you in other ways", he got on his knees pulling y/n's legs apart, having a perfect look of her pussy, glistening and swollen, sending shivers down in his spine and almost making him cream in his pants like an impatient teenager. before smoothly removing her panties, harry's lips were attached to her inner thighs, from little pecks to leaving marks all over, the white mesh hadn't even hit the floor when his fingers started stroking y/n's clit once more, his tongue joined not long after, running up and down on y/n's very wet entrance. "fuck, you taste like heaven", harry admired the image in front of him yet he was not able to detach his mouth from her juices more than a few seconds, his tongue swirled inside her like it was his last meal, y/n gripped onto harry's hair, pulling and tugging it, "harry.. harry" she cried out, "oh fuck", y/n's legs were shaking, she could feel her climax closer than before, "harry i'm gonna cum" she panted, feeling her pussy clench as harry continued to lick her folds and gently biting her clit. "oh princess... look at the mess you made" his fingers brushed against the already very sensitive cunt, "such a pretty mess... let me clean it up, yeah?", that almost made y/n cum again, "harry... harry please let me cum on your cock" she pleaded, placing her weight on her elbows so she can clearly see his face, "god fuck! yeah let me um grab that condom", he got up trying to take the packet from his pocket, "no.. no i need to feel you harry", the words ring in his ears, he drops his jeans on the floor and quickly takes his briefs off, ramming into y/n's pussy, kissing her to muffle the moans coming from the both of them. they still don't know what went through their heads, and harry's thrusts inside y/n made them forget even more the world out side the room they're in, y/n's pussy clenching around harry's length, "harry i'm gonna cum again", quiet moans echoed in the room, "fuck sweets i'm so close too", he grunts as he fills her up, none of them had such a aggressive, carnal, fervent affair like this one, so full of intimacy and honey flavoured words yet so mad and potent in the sweet turbulent heated and urgent moment, nothing else mattered to them.

they're getting dressed, harry can't stop himself from staring and interrupting y/n just to steal one more kiss, "you know it's funny, the only other time i had sex in a nurse's office was in my first year of university" y/n giggles, followed by harry buttoning the rest of her top, "really? that's a weird coincidence!" he said with a tone of surprise in his voice, "on my senior year i also had sex in a nurse's office.. she was likely from your class, she was a freshman i believe", "trying to make me jealous, mr styles?" y/n gave him a little peck, "is it working?" he smiled now buttoning his shirt, "but for real, she was a freshman and we were at this guy's off campus house.. bryan something, god she never even told me her real name, said it was aimee and then said it was a lie but she wanted something she could have fun and not get attached to it” he buttons the last button and then looks at a horrified y/n, “what? i didn’t mean to upset you i was 21 back then”, he says worriedly, “no.. harry.. god.. i.. i once told a guy my name was aimee and it was my first time and i wanted to get it over with and then my friend niall banged on the door and we both burst out laughing-“, “y/n.. you look very different”, “god harry stop how did we end up in the same situation again”, harry grabs her chin, “let’s say it was destiny” he whispers kissing y/n passionately.

harry drove y/n home, the ride was filled with giggles and reminiscing their affair from their uni days, they couldn't explain why they didn't recognise each other but it felt too much like a sign from universe, bringing them together again. "we're here", harry gets closer to give y/n a kiss and she stops him, "joey is for sure observing us from the window, i'm sorry" her voice trembles, "no.. don't be sorry. i'll see you tomorrow?" he asks knowing her answer but she still nods, whispering a goodbye followed by a smile.

"y/n!" joey exclaims running to the door to hug her older sister, "was that harry? why didn't he come in? i made coffee!" she says pointing to the alone mug in the kitchen, "oh um.. he just drove me home" y/n placed her bag on one of the hooks right next to the door, "i thought you left to catch some air.. you went to school?" joey rubbed y/n's back, not imagining what could possibly be going through her sister's mind, y/n started tearing up, "oh y/n it's okay tony was a jerk! you're better off without him", the younger sister says trying to ease y/n, "joey i fucked harry" y/n blurs out, she has never been good at keeping secrets from joey, especially now that they spend 99% of their free time together, "i'm a girl with a broken engagement that fucked her co-worker that happens to be one of her best friends, i'm horrible joey" y/n's crying made her sniffle in between words, some understandable and others completely inaudible, "wow.. wow let's go back, you fucked harry?" joey's eyes widened, "and i liked it", joey let a small laugh out, "i knew you liked him”, she remains with a silly smile on her lips, “and you’re not horrible, you kinda paid tony back.. by fucking your really hot co-worker/friend… please let me grab you a mug i really need to know what happened in that school, you fucked in the classroom?” joey questions semi horrified.

“no..no we did it in the nurse’s office”

“oh that’s interesting”

“and there’s more”

“more?? maybe i don’t want to know..”

please tell me if u want to be added to taglist!

taglist: @psicostyles @behindmygreyeyes @your-local-lesbian-on-lexapro @mvaldez7821 @tiktokandtvismylife @silvermistwannabe @harrysgoldenhome @subbbyharry @buckybarnessimpp @gabshouse @sassqwn @thegirlnextdoorssister @theanxietyqueen17

masterlist

+ - fluff, * - smut, & - angst

♡˚.༄

one-shots

sparks (*)

summary: y/n meets harry, a much older man while she’s on vacation in southern spain.. somehow 45 minutes are all it takes to fall in love

longer writings

asthore coming dec 2

sunbeam (+) part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4(*) part 5(*)

ballerina!yn x barista!harry, y/n is a ballerina and harry works at the café in the same building, both have a little crush on each other. (lots of fluff and cute moments, also mentions of eating disorder)

extras instagram accounts 1 instagram posts 1

cloudburst (-) part 1 part 2 (*) part 3 part 4

preschool teacher!harry x special education teacher!yn; y/n and harry met while working together at a preschool, y/n is engaged but her fiancé has been distancing himself from y/n, making her spend more time with harry, wishing she was marrying him instead

burgeoned (+) coming this winter

y/n's grandma hurts herself and asks y/n to move in a village in southern ireland, what she doesn't know is that her grandma spends a lot of time with her front door neighbour, a tall man named harry, that owns a flower and veggie shop and makes youtube videos of his recipes.

psa! my "y/n" character is always mid/plus sized :)

if any of you ever wants to send me a request or talk about my characters you're more than welcome!

cloudburst 4

summary: preschool teacher!harry x special education teacher!yn; y/n and harry met while working together at a preschool, y/n is engaged but her fiancé has been distancing himself from y/n, making her spend more time with harry, wishing she was marrying him instead

warnings: violence sort of?, emotional pain, angst

word count: 3k

clover's notes: i listened to a lot of life support by sam smith while writing if u wanna listen while u read :-)

part 1 part 2 part 3

harry and y/n ended up agreeing to take things slow, they started hot and heavy and.. breaking up an engagement which was the only thing on y/n’s mind, feeling guilty that maybe she fell in love with harry in the middle of her relationship and was separated for two weeks and already spending 24/7 kissing and being with him. the good part of this was knowing harry would always listen to her and her worries, something her last relationship lacked and she never wanted to see out of wanting it to work out.

a long talk with her therapist seemed to clear things up a bit, various of y/n’s issues were deeply rooted in her mum’s illness and consequently her loss, y/n has a thing for never putting herself first, losing part of her life to take care of her mother, not that y/n considers lost but she never took time to heal from that time, she was studying and travelling back home every weekend, spending every second finding ways to commute, learning about medications even though she failed biology, terribly. bathing her mum, doing groceries, cleaning and reaching a moment of exhaustion because her life was slipping through her fingers, meeting tony was good for her, she loved him, he was there for her… then her mum passes, and y/n’s break didn’t happen still, taking joey in, finding a job, planning a wedding, finishing school, working as a barista.. harry ended up being her break, his unfunny jokes, cloud sweaters and cleaning snot off children’s noses every single time, sat with her at lunch and read the same books she did, liked her lunches and drove her home if it was raining. things with tony weren’t exactly good from early on in their relationship and y/n would never even imagine he was cheating on her, he was known around the university for being a womaniser and dating every freshman and y/n thought she could fix him, as cringy as that sounds, really did think they would end up married and in a big house and kids but the universe had other plans and deep down y/n feels more than okay that she never had a baby with tony.

“i fear that i might’ve accidentally turned harry into a rebound or worse.. a way to heal my trauma and i don’t want that because i think i really love him, it’s like i run out of breath when i see him, he’s the best part of my day, he likes my lemon cookies and always sticks a star on my forehead after eating them, like we give the stars to kids when they did good, i really don’t want to fuck it up, i just don’t want to fuck up. not this, not him. and i turn 24 tomorrow and i hate thinking about another birthday without my mother.”

the little 4 people friend group was the first time y/n didn’t feel alone nor lonely, even though she always had joey, sometimes she did feel terribly alone in the entire world, like somehow she just wasn’t enough to have friends like she would see others have… but that changed when niall was introduced in her life, a music student that spilled his coffee on his laptop and immediately panicked in café nero, y/n and niall have been friends since she cleaned an entire table with baby wipes and told niall it was all gonna be okay,  niall was the first friend she made, not even knowing he was the guy that stopped her moment with harry for the first time, they just clicked. then joey moved to london and y/n met harry, connecting the dots that niall was the loud flatmate that spent too much time watching reality tv and that’s how her most special friend group came to be, the 3 most important people in her life. tony didn’t really take part in their friendship, except for the one time tony got invited to play golf by his boss and y/n said she would go only if she could take her friends so she wouldn’t be alone, other than that, everything was the 4 of them, game nights of niall buying every possible house in monopoly and harry effortlessly winning at scrabble. joey was more of a cards against humanity girl, making really great jokes that left y/n screaming “JOEY U DON’T SAY THAT” 10 times in a night, as for y/n she’s the best at charades, she guesses 00’s films like no one else, which brings her a fuzzy feeling to her heart.  

so it’s more than important that falling in love with harry wasn’t a mistake, that what he said about destiny was real and she wouldn’t lose him, she didn’t want to admit that losing tony because of her miscarriage was a pain that she could barely even think about, afraid that what if it happens again.

“do you think i’m mad?” 

“i don’t think you’re mad, y/n, you went through major loses that aren’t easy to overcome, there are more people going through the same feelings as you and it’s okay to feel scared, lonely and like you’re going mad, but you’re not, you took the first step, asking for help and that is incredibly brave. i guarantee you, i’m here to help and make things easier, i won’t judge or say “well maybe u shouldn’t have done that” i’ll try and guide you within your own terms and your own pace. consider me as a tool, an extra help to face what makes you feel pain.”

“i didn’t think therapy would be so safe, thank you dr. levi”

✶

y/n got to her apartment around 40 minutes after her session ended, feeling genuinely good with sharing what was weighing on her heart, joey and pickles were napping in the sofa, the tv was on mute but the great british bake off was on, y/n grabbed the letters on the hallway table, frowning tony’s name written all over them. 

harry

— hey, niall and i are going out later, want to come?

y/n smiles at harry’s name popping on her phone and asking to hang out, she places her phone on the same table and walks over to the sofa to gently wake joey up, y/n nudges her shoulder a little bit, “joey wake up” she whispers, her hand reaching pickles that was now loudly purring to the sight of y/n, “joeeeeey! c’mon” y/n insists, “y/n if the world isn’t ending please let me sleep” joey snaps back, without opening her eyes, “okay, then i’ll go out with harry and niall by myself”, joey opens her eyes and goes quiet for a second, “okay, maybe i’ll get up” the younger sister groans and holds pickles, smooching her. “how was therapy?” she asks, sitting in a more comfortable position, “well, weird at first but it felt nice to talk to someone that knows how to help” y/n explains, “you? how was your day?”, joey groans again, “it was normal, i came home and took a nap and now you’re here and you’re making us dinner… right?”, “right but you’re helping so get your ass off the sofa, please” y/n demands and joey gets up, dragging her feet across the living room into the kitchen, “so do i tell harry yes?”, “well obviously”. 

y/n

— yes! joey and i are in. meet us downstairs? 

harry

— yes, 11pm works for you? 

y/n

— perfect xx

✶

the pub was their usual hanging out spot, (that wasn’t y/n’s place), so y/n and joey knew already that harry and niall were at the booth in the back and likely arguing over manchester united and whatever team was playing against them, harry noticed y/n walking in, wearing long bell bottom white jeans a white top with sleeves that almost looked like angel wings, white as well, he thought her boobs looked absolutely perfect in it, he could already smell the chamomile body butter y/n always carries with her, he instantly gets up, looking at the soon-to-be birthday girl with so much love on his eyes, his chest almost hurt. harry has spent the entire day on edge, teaching was hard, focusing on children’s needs was even harder, looking at y/n most of the time and wondering how she did it, look angelic as she bottled up the weight of her and her sister’s life on her heart, reading stories about mothers without shedding a single tear, he thought he could never be in her shoes, he actually couldn’t even picture a world without his mum right there for him. 

then he sees her, walking in, glowing, still so beautiful. 

his mind is going at an absurd speed, he wants to wish her a happy birthday, kiss her, hand her the bag with her birthday present, order a really strong drink so he won’t kiss her like he’s her boyfriend and beg niall to please shut up about the football game on the tiny television, all at the same time. he always thought of himself as a peaceful person, no dramas, keeping his life lowkey and leave the drama for his goddaughter’s plays..

and then he sees her, an angel-like hurricane with a sweet smile and sad eyes, still so beautiful.

a cloudburst is an extreme amount of precipitation in a short period of time, sometimes accompanied by hail and thunder, which is capable of creating flood conditions.

and that’s exactly what she is, his cloudburst.

✶

it’s past midnight, niall made the entire pub sing happy birthday to y/n and is now trying to get free shots for the 4 of them to honour y/n 24th birthday. y/n is now opening joey’s birthday gift, a rug that reads “i hope you like taylor swift and cats”, making y/n chuckle and realise this is actually a gift for the both of them, their house. “i love it joey! thank you” y/n exclaims, hugging her sister in the small booth soda they’re both sat on, niall rushes in with the shots and places them in front of us, “drink drink drink” he shouts and we all drink up, he continues to speak right after, “open mine now!” he hands y/n a poorly wrapped gift with too much tape but clearly a vinyl from the shop he works at, y/n lets out a squeal as she tears the wrapping paper, unveiling a vintage billy joel vinyl with the songs “only the good die young” and “vienna”, her eyes fill to the brim with tears, “oh my god! niall this is.. wow” she cries out, “harry helped me out a little” niall confesses giving y/n a timid smile, “thank you both, for real”, she cleans the tears from her face and gently places the vinyl back in the bag. “um” harry coughs a little, “remember when little jenny brought that squishmallow horse that had my name and you said you’d also love to carry me around?” harry asked as his hands gripped onto the paper bag, jenny was a 4 year old they had in their class last year and moved to ireland during the summer, giving very teared goodbyes to y/n and harry and swearing she would never forget them. she had a squishmallow she would constantly bring to class, a little horse named harry, y/n jokingly said she would love to carry harry around all the time as well and harry never forgot that. 

“you got me harry the horse?”

“i also got you something else but yes”

“you got me harry the horse!”

harry handed the brown paper bag with a green lace bow and y/n unwrapped it as fast as she could, hugging the horse squishmallow the minute she got it out of the bag, “oh i love him!”, harry smiled to himself, proudly of the well chosen gift, “there’s more” he points to the bag, a normal people copy, y/n furrowed her eyebrows, they had read the book and watched the series so she was confused as why was harry gifting her a book they had read together. “harry? what?” her voice trembled a little, not wanting to sound confused, “open it y/n” he says, still smiling to himself”

“to y/n, 

may all your friends work so hard on getting books signed like this friend did,

sally rooney” 

“what the fuck harry? what the fuck!”

it didn’t take long for the four of them to agree to go back yo y/n’s place as they usually did, mostly because y/n mentioned she had weed at home and all of them wanting to relax for a minute or two, (the whole night actually), niall and joey were still finishing their drinks as y/n and harry were paying the group bill, to their defence what happened next was totally taken out of context to what they were actually doing. harry’s arm was wrapped around y/n’s waist, his hand grabbing her hip firmly, small talk with the barista whose birthday was also today, talking a little bit about each other without giving too much info, y/n’s head ended up resting against harry’s arm as she couldn’t reach his shoulders even with the high heels she has on. “i see you replaced me, easily” a voice coming from behind the couple echoes through y/n, feeling the microwavable mac and cheese coming to her mouth and shivers down her spine. it was tony. harry’s grip on y/n’s hip was now tighter, being the only source of minimal comfort right now, the couple turned around without letting go of each other, “you were the one that cheated on me, remember?” y/n retaliates, feeling her muscles tensing up, “i have no guarantee that you weren’t fucking him behind my back, after all you’re a whore for a man that gives you any attention”. 

the next was a blur for y/n, harry lets go of her and his fist travels right to tony’s nose, harry doesn’t know what has gotten into him but there’s a stranger holding tony before he could make a punch back to harry and niall in front of harry.. all in seconds, making y/n stand there a bit in shock, just staring at them. joey is cursing out tony but y/n can’t hear a thing, it’s muffled, the only sound is her heart pounding onto her chest like it’s about to get out through her mouth along with the mac and cheese and the shots of tequila and dirty martinis with extra olives. 

“harry what happened?”

·

“he called her a whore and i lost it” 

·

“let’s go home”

·

“y/n?”

·

“i hate that bitch”

the walk back home was eternal for y/n, her house that was 5 minutes by foot from the pub, seemed 5 hours away, the fears of leaving her partner and thinking she was somehow using harry rang in her brain like hell, all of them spoke up, saying they hated tony and she was better off without him, harry tried to touch her but she brushed him off, walking ahead of them but able to hear them, none of it made sense, why her truest relationship had to be with a man she couldn’t have and now that she does her past comes to haunt her and call her a whore.

y/n feels the same about harry, that he had a peaceful life with routines and good relationships until he met her, a hurricane that came and destroyed his life with a kiss, y/n feels unworthy of him, she talks shit about people and holds grudges even if people are now buried, y/n wishes she was much more, that she was the one that sat through war with him, built a family with him, be much more than she actually feels that she is. y/n feels like her white canvas has been painted black, more swipes covering that could’ve been a masterpiece, harry holds the brushes with pastels and brights, making her canvas a less sad piece to look at.. but what if that is never enough? what if all this love in her heart will pass? what if she isn’t his life support? what if she’s no one’s life support?

she doesn’t realise she’s sitting on the doorstep of her apartment, crying her heart out in harry’s arms until she opens her eyes again, she doesn’t really know what her brain is doing to her and at this point, it’s the only veil harry wants to uncover.

✶

it’s now four in the morning, y/n and harry haven’t slept, niall and joey passed out on the sofa after sharing a blunt and pickles is asleep at the end of y/n’s bed. maybe it was the alcohol making y/n sharing all of her thoughts to harry, that was taking in 24 years worth of pain and agony in one night and to him she was still beautiful, the cracks and flaws in her only made her more beautiful, more perfect just for him. 

“i love that you’re a hurricane, y/n. i thought i was going to live a boring life and you’ve shown me my future story is full. i don’t want you to think you’re not honourable enough for me because you are, i love every single thing you tell me, i love that you want me to be your family and to expand it.. because if i’m being honest joey feels already like my little sister, you’re already my family, my life.. and i want it all, even if you need more time. i want it all”

“all of it?”

“every single drop of you”

“you’re insane harry”

“and you’re my cloudburst.”

taglist: @psicostyles@behindmygreyeyes@your-local-lesbian-on-lexapro@mvaldez7821@tiktokandtvismylife @silvermistwannabe @harrysgoldenhome @subbbyharry @buckybarnessimpp@gabshouse @sassqwn @thegirlnextdoorssister @theanxietyqueen17 @behindmygreyeyes @luvonstyles @st-ev-ie

sunbeam 2

prompt: ballerina!yn x barista!harry, y/n is a ballerina and harry works at the café in the same building, both have a little crush on each other

warnings: fluff, a bit of angst, mentions of eating disorder, christmas

word count: 2k

part 1 part 3 part 4 part 5 extras

it has been a month since y/n and harry's first date, it's now december 21st, y/n has been practising with pointe shoes which led to a lot of bleeding and bruising, harry has been super inspired, the words flow out of his mouth like a river and he owes it all to y/n, for giving him reasons to write. 

their first week of dating was weird, y/n followed harry on instagram and that's when it hit him he never asked for her age... he knew she was an adult but it never crossed his mind until the moment y/n is long gone on the tube and he's sitting on his sofa reading her instagram bio "21, london based photographer", yeah she was an adult but he was 6 years her senior and he didn't want to make her uncomfortable in any way. "stupid stupid stupid", he thought. when y/n got off the tube her phone was buzzing like crazy, "i swear on GOD that i didn't realise you were so young", "i promise u i'm not a creep i just really thought you were at least 25", y/n's eyes widened to the worried messages from harry, she never mentioned her age because she forgot, when harry mentioned he was 27 she was gonna make a joke about millenials but her mind trailed off when the pasta came to the table. 

"harry i'm so sorry i was on the tube! if i wasn't clear by almost swallowing your face tonight, i'm absolutely more than okay with you being older than me... is it an issue being 21?"

"i just don't want you to think i'm some creep taking advantage of you"

"i genuinely don't think that"

"but seriously who the fuck is born in 2000"

"don't be mean a lot of people were born in 2000"

"mean? i'm not mean"

"yeah you're a millennial, it's worse."

during that entire week harry was always thinking his moves and trying to be even more respectful, his entire dating history was always with people older than him so all of this was relatively new to him, y/n explained a thousands times she was okay but harry still had to wrap his head around it. it was the same week y/n started pointe shoes, she was constantly tired and in pain and the hours she wasn't practicing she was working and then spending hours at the café editing so she could keep harry company. harry admired her, if it was him he would've definitely fallen asleep on the tube and getting off at a stop much further than his.

the second week was just sweet, lovebirds honeymoon phase clingy sweet, harry even got y/n tickets to go to the royal ballet, he understood nothing of it, but the sparkling eyes and smile coming from y/n made it just perfect. that same night harry fell asleep on y/n's sofa, cuddling oli, while watching taskmaster, another thing he swears on, y/n's sofa is amazing to take naps on (oli included). y/n had given harry's name to a magazine she does some shoots for, just in case they needed an article to he written, and still now she prays it's an article that needs photos so they can work together. the times they are apart are so little but those moments only make them crave each other even more.

the third week was hell, y/n fell in class, harry couldn't puzzle out why she was avoiding food or why she didn't want to eat outside the house anymore. truth be told y/n feels deeply conscious about herself whenever she's in the ballet studio, her teacher is cool and against the unachievable goal of the ballerina body but the other ballerinas were starting to ruin y/n's experience.

she didn't want harry to know, the "relationship" was so fresh and she wasn't emotionally ready to sit down and tell him sometimes (most times) being overweight and plus sized was a war with herself. harry did mention it to his sister, his sister just said being there is the best you can do, so he did.

this week was better than before, harry met y/n's friends and slept over one more time, this time in bed with her, he was still finding a way to ask y/n to be his girlfriend, he was sleeping in her bed for fucks sake. he also started talking kindly about food to y/n, showing his tummy multiple times.

"you have boobs bigger than mine harry"

"borrow me a bra then?"

y/n opened up a little more about the sad thoughts that lived in her when it came to food, so he googled about it, and tried to be as comforting and understanding as possible.

they went ice skating for their weekly date, both sucking terribly at it, harry did suck a little more, his knees always finding their way to the ice flooring, harry still thinks about her outfit, matching beige leggings and crewneck with a big white bunny in it, hair half up half down tied with a white lace bow and obviously her leg warmers, his eyes were glued to her, he just thought she was so beautiful and sexy and he craved her, he wanted to keep the decorum but this girl made his head spin. they ended up having sex for the first time that same night, sloppy kisses, harry couldn't keep his hands to himself, y/n was about to warn him about the fat above her hips but he stopped right there, "god it looks great to bite on", his lips travelled her entire body, always praising her, "you're a goddess, i'm in bed with god right now, fuck me", a memorable night indeed.

harry met y/n's two bestest friends the next morning, he assumed they already knew what had happened the night before by the funny exchanged looks between them and y/n, one of them was still studying, doing a masters in ecology and the other one was a visual artist like y/n but a videographer, harry liked them, they were loud and constantly offering him food and drinks. harry kept an eye out for y/n, constantly worried that she could be skipping meals. 

today is saturday, y/n is laying on harry’s sofa with a very purring poppy cuddling her while harry is finishing editing an article that he has to email until 11pm, he's not too worried as he got most of it written on his days off. "y/n do you want to order veggie burgers for lunch, babe?" harry asked without taking his eyes off his desktop computer. "oh yeah! with the sweet potato fries and that veganaise sauce... i'll order!", he smiled to himself, the last few days have been good for y/n mental health wise, she was on a ballet break until the new years, he hasn't stopped thinking about her flying home for christmas and missing her. "harry do you want the black bean burger? or the chickpea one?” y/n asked wrapping her arms around harry from behind, “what are you heaving? actually never mind i know you want the black bean one”,  he brushed his fingers against her hand, “…harry stop it’s creepy how you know me so well it’s been a month!!!” y/n pouts, it’s not really heartfelt, she loves that he knows her so well and genuinely wants to learn more about her as she had never lived anything like this. “i’m a genius and the chickpea one, please-“ before he speaks again y/n interrupts him “extra veganaise i know, you’re not the only one memorising things, old man”, harry’s worry about y/n being younger was still there but smaller, he loved that she felt comfortable enough to tease him about pushing 30.

“old man? i wasn’t an old man when i was fucking you last night”

“HARRY??? NOT IN FRONT OF THE CHILDREN”

“sorry, sorry, i promise i won’t traumatise our children”

“our? so poppy is also mine? good to know”

“i mean, we both love you so i don’t see why not”

y/n’s felt her heart skipping a whole beat before processing what harry had just said, “h, what did you say?”, he turned his chair around and patted his thigh so y/n would sit on top of it. “i love you. you don’t have to say it back, i just do love you, i’m here trying to focus and not think about having to drop you off at the airport tomorrow and be away from u a whole week and not even get to start the year with you. i find myself writing about you, accidentally making your favourite drink when the customer absolutely not asked for him, i just know that i do. i do love you” y/n was speechless, she had thought about those 3 words and how what she feels for harry is stronger and only i love you in her mother language would make sense but she felt it too, not wanting to be away, finding reasons to be together, she was right where he was, emotionally.

“harry.”, y/n whispered, “you don’t have to say it, bunny”, he whispered back, placing his chin on her shoulder, “harry i love you, i love you too”

this is one of the moments harry most writes about

harry’s journal,  23rd december 2021

christmas season love only felt true 

in all of those nights i watched

love actually

colin firth falling in love with someone

he could barely understand

i needed it for myself

you came along and made me feel

right in his shoes

learning portuguese

just so i can tell you i love you

in a way only you would get it

your whispers,

my name,

your three words,

the most beautiful christmas gift 

i could have ever gotten

i miss you

come home to me

♡˚.༄  january 3rd 2022

harry is at the airport with a bouquet of white and blush coloured tulips, he had a busy christmas, he moved oli with him and poppy for the holidays to make sure oli wouldn't feel alone, poppy and oli bonded immediately like sisters, against all feline odds, they now can’t live without each other, much like their parents. his sister and mum flew over to his london house this time around, a chaotic christmas because harry burnt his not so great oat christmas cookies.

harry sees her coming through the arrivals door in a sea of people, his love actually moment, he speeds up to her and kisses her passionately. “god bunny, i missed you”, getting her carry-on and walking with her towards the tube. “how was your flight?” he asks, placing his tote bag better on his shoulder, “exhausting, a baby cried most of the way, poor little guy, if i get grumpy and i’m 21 i can’t imagine a baby, other than that it was okay, i got some work done. how are the girls?”, the girls, meaning poppy and oli and anne and gemma, harry was alone in the middle of women. “they’re okay, kinda fussy, i think they miss you. my mum says i’ve been fussy too”, y/n just giggled.

“harry, can we just get a coffee before we go home?”

“just not a christmas drink, please”

“you’re not the barista for this drink, h”

“yeah but i fear for the poor person that has to make anything christmas related”

“i had a gingerbread latte one time harry, one time”

“and the guy looked terrified!”

part 3?

do tell me if u want me to tag u on a possible part 3!

cloudburst

preschool teacher!harry x special education teacher!yn

prompt: y/n and harry met while working together at a preschool, y/n is engaged but her fiancé has been distancing himself from y/n, making her spend more time with harry, wishing she was marrying him instead

part 1

cloudburst 3

summary: preschool teacher!harry x special education teacher!yn; y/n and harry met while working together at a preschool, y/n is engaged but her fiancé has been distancing himself from y/n, making her spend more time with harry, wishing she was marrying him instead

warnings: cheating, cursing, death

clover's notes: hi guys i didn't proof read i'm sorry :(

word count: 3k

part 1 part 2

harry's pov

the drive back home feels endless, i don't know what came through my head to sleep with y/n, worse, cum inside her like that. my car smells like her, smells like woody amber and vanilla, i've dreamed of this smell lingering on my skin for over a year and now i can't even enjoy it. almost like in a film, my car is parked and there's muffled screams and my fists hitting the dashboard, what the fuck, what did i just do? an almost married woman? an almost ex married woman... y/n... my y/n. i got out of the car, grabbing my briefcase, my legs feel heavy and i don't know how i'm gonna climb 3 flights of stairs nor how i'm gonna tell my best friend i just had the best sex of my life and it happened to me with the one woman i couldn't have. stupid, i'm so stupid. 

niall and i live in a two bedroom apartment in lisson grove, meaning a short (usual) 9 minute drive from y/n's flat, our apartment isn't too big, when you walk you immediately see a round table and two chairs, there’s some letters on top of it and niall’s house keys, against the wall there’s our tan sofa, in front of it an also tan coffee table with our second hand tv, one of the other walls is covered by a big bookshelf with books mostly from my collection. through the white door there’s our kitchen with a cream colour palette i grew to love in the time i’ve lived here, it isn’t the biggest of kitchens but it’s definitely one of my favourite places in the house, the kitchen island has niall’s yet to be washed dishes on top of it and two mismatched high stools. there’s 3 doors in one of the walls, my bedroom, the bathroom and niall’s bedroom, niall’s bedroom is slightly bigger than mine, he has a light wood ikea bedframe and his bed is always unmade, his bedside table has always cds or vinyls he has gotten at his job, as well as a record player that he got along with our tv, a big comfy chair that has his to-do laundry all over it, both os us have desks in our bedrooms, even though i firmly believe that working in the bedroom is a terrible thing to do. his desk is way more organised than mine, it’s basically the desk and his laptop and his shiny guitar rested next to the table, next to it there’s his wardrobe, also light wood from ikea. niall’s walls are light blue (that took us wait too long to paint) and he has a medium window that makes sure the sun shines right in his face, as well as pictures of us and trips we have made since we moved in together 10 years ago. our bathroom is just your typical british bathroom there’s nothing new i could possibly add. and lastly my bedroom, my bed is similar to niall’s, except i have bunny sheets and way too many pillows, my bedside table is crowded with a lamp and a bunch of books, i have a big fiddle leaf fig right against my window, and a decent sized mirror next to it, as well as the exact same wardrobe as niall and a small shoe rack. and finally now the messiest place in my bedroom, my desk, it has letters, books, pens, pencils, kids’ drawings, my desktop, mugs and glasses, my chair has a blue bathrobe i always forget to hang in the bathroom and in the corner an acoustic guitar niall got me for my 25th birthday. 

so, when i open the front door, everything is the same, niall is watching women’s eurocup and it smells like hot water, meaning the kettle had been on recently, i place my coat on the coat hanger by the door, “hello! i thought you were out by 4pm! was starting to get worried about you!” niall spoke, i placed my briefcase on one of the chairs and sat next to him, feeling exhausted, i didn’t know where to start nor even if i should mention what i had done to niall. “niall” my voice almost vanished as i said his name, “mate? what’s up?”, his worry is genuine i figure, “i did something bad” i muttered, placing my elbows on my thighs as my face met my hands, trying to hide somehow, “i didn’t come home earlier because i just.. i just had sex with y/n” i ripped the words out of mouth, niall, had just taken a bite out of a blueberry muffin, through the corner of my eye i saw the muffin hit the carpeted floor, “YOU?? WHAT??” he raises his voice in shock, “FUCK MY MUFFIN!” i couldn’t help but let out a laugh at niall’s reaction, even without trying this man has always found a way to make me smile even in moments in all seriousness like right now. “first, you owe me a muffin, secondly.. how did that happen? actually spare me, but.. what the fuck? is she not engaged to that…thomas? t.. tenis ball guy?” he was dead serious about the muffin, as well as calling tony tennis ball because he always refused to remember his name, “tony.. and yeah she was.. or is? i don’t know, she came into the classroom, grabbed my face and… well yeah!” i move my hands exaggeratedly, “we had sex, really good sex and we ended up finding out we had done it before. at that party in uni! the one u had those really bad shrimp cocktails and threw up and we had to go home before midnight”, niall’s light skin is now flushed, we never mention this story out of his sake, he has never been that sick at a party ever, “i cockblocked u and y/n?? god fuck man, but wait.. she’s not getting married anymore?” he takes a sip of his tea and i proceed to tell him everything that went down between y/n and tony. i happen to know exactly what’s on niall’s mind, he has a big crush on joey and he’s definitely messaging her the moment i shut up. “apparently tony has been cheating on her with half on london..”, as soon as the words came out of my mouth  i felt a tug on my heart, talking about something i could never do, especially to y/n, “that sucks, why are you marrying someone just to cheat on them?”, “i could seriously not tell u”.

the rest of the night went like usual, niall and i have known each other for so long we actually have started a nighttime routine, we watch reality tv, currently hooked on love island as we have dinner, niall does have a better time in social situations than i do, we used to be both very outgoing and always at parties but ever since i started by job like for real, i have been stuck in an old guy routine. “you’re not giving your amazing commentary, harry” niall states waving his hand in front of my face, “sorry, can’t help but think about y/n…” niall gives me a gentle smile, “call her c’mon” he encourages me and points at my phone, “i’m sure she’s waiting for your call”.

the truth is, i hoped she was waiting for my call, i dreamed that she was no longer thinking about her ex fiancé and was dreaming of me, still thinking of my lips against her neck as my hands traveled through her body, god how i craved gripping onto her love handles like earlier today, jesus christ harry calm your dick down.

the last week fly by, i have spent so much time with y/n i think i’m hooked, she’s my drug and i can’t let go, besides spending every minute together at school we have been spending every minute together out of it as well, on monday after we finished class i couldn’t help but kiss her right there, i haven’t craved someone this way, especially not someone going through a break up, for a minute there i feared i would just be a rebound for y/n but i brushed it off my mind quickly, we baked bread together that monday afternoon as we watched mamma mia. that was one of the most beautiful moments i hope it’ll remain tattooed on my brain, y/n wearing a bunny apron and reading a very complicated recipe followed by a “god who the fuck bakes bread this easily” to my reply, “well i worked in a bakery back when year 10 through 13”, “so you could’ve baked me bread everyday mr styles?”, “i will bake everything you want me to”, followed by a very theatrical singing of “money, money, money” and dancing in y/n’s tiny kitchen.

tuesday, y/n, joey, niall and i went to the cake tasting that was supposed to be y/n’s, as she said, she wouldn’t let so many cake options go to waste when she had her friends to try a stupid amount of different cakes with her, i couldn’t help but feel a little angry thinking about tony as well worried that y/n was acting like he never existed and maybe wasn’t even healing properly and chose to live this life of pretending that he was never a real person… wednesday our school day was hard, the dad of one of the kids barged in yelling at y/n for her kids sharing space with mine, he was tall and looked like he lived in a gym yet y/n felt taller than him, i had never seen her yell that way:

“i don’t understand how those kids can even be in the same space as my son”

“i have emailed you a thousand times that i needed to talk to you as i believe your son has severe anxiety and can’t even eat next to other kids” 

“that’s simply not true that’s influence from your [redacted because we don’t write slurs in these fanfics] kids”

“i need you to get out or i’m gonna report you for harassment and please do find an hour to sit down with me and your son because he needs a little extra help and i have the tools for it”

“my son is not-“

“get out!”

so, after that we decided it would be good to cool off, find a yoga class and meditate for a bit, we ended up in my flat following a youtube video that led to y/n making fun of me for my lack of coordination and shortly after a very needed cooling off making out session that ended up in, not gonna lie, the best sex of my life.

on thursday we watched another romcom, this time the bridget jones’ diary, we fell asleep when the film ended with a sweet purring pickles at the end of the bed and got woken up to joey coming home, i just wasn’t expecting to hear niall’s voice following her. “y/n.. is that niall?” i whisper putting the laptop screen down, “what is niall doing here with joey?” y/n sits in bed trying to listen to the conversation going on in the living room. “why are they so quiet?” y/n asks quietly, “oh god do you think they’re kissing?”, “you think??”. 

“niall shush! i don’t know if my sister is home” joey whisper screams, “oh joey c’mon we have been dating for a month! don’t you think it’s time for us to tell?” niall immediately replies, “a month????? did you know?” y/n looks at me with a shocked face,  “i knew he liked her but i didn’t know they were properly dating.. what the fuck” i say mid gasp, "keep listening" y/n replies. "niall... my sister would immediately get all motherly if she found out im dating a guy that is 9 years older than me, she feels like she has to replace our mum sometimes", i look over at y/n and her expression changes from wanting to snoop and giggle to tears gently forming in her eyes, "oh y/n no don't cry i'm sure she didn't mean it in a bad way, you worry and she's 20.. we didn't listen to anyone in our 20s" i say as i wrap my arms around her upper body, she rests her head on my chest and cries softly for a little bit just in her sniffles in the silence. all that y/n has told me about her relationship with joey is y/n taking care of joey 99% of the time since their mum passed, i personally could not imagine my sister being in her place and having to suddenly take care of me and change her life for me, so i got both of their sides, i understood y/n because she does what my sister would do, not let me go ever and take care of me like i'm the only thing that matters in her life... but i also get joey and feeling like someone had to give up on their life for me. i know y/n doesn't see it that way, she always talks about her sister with such love in her words, she loves going on book shopping with her sister and sharing her opinion on fictional men, they always get oat milk cappuccino's at costa's after and then come home to comment on love island, much like niall and i. 

i kiss her forehead and lay my head on top of hers, i don't really know what to say, y/n is a book i'm still reading and finding out how to approach, "i'm sorry harry.. sometimes i just forget that joey is a kid and she needs her sister more than she needs... a... mum" y/n's words are trembling in between the sniffles as i caress her eyebrows, almost brushing them with my fingers, "no baby, it's your sister and you have that feeling towards her it's understandable", "she hid a boyfriend from me", "well at least we know it's niall"

today is friday, fridays are usually my best day at work, the kids are excited about the weekend and i get to think about my sofa waiting for me for exactly 2 days, not that i thought it would happen this weekend by the amount of subtle warnings coming from y/n, with subtle i mean fully sending me a picture of the lingerie she's wearing under the beige turtleneck and light blue jeans yet she looks like nothing happened, braiding a little girl's hair after a very upsetting throwing up in the bathroom, in times like this i can't help it, i daydream of y/n and our kids, how she would be the most perfect mum in the entire world, "harry can you please get me sofia's guardian on the phone? she's clean but i feel like maybe it's better if she goes home and gets some rest" she looks at me, peeking over the little girl's head, "i'm on it", i get up and rush to the main hall to find the number. 

"oh hi harry! um do u know if y/n has a minute or two" a very sweet yet shaky voice pronounces, i look up and see joey, still with her waterstones tag and short hair clipped back by two grey clips, "one of her kids threw up and she's kinda busy but i can tell her you're here if you'd like!”, joey looked seriously worried and i pressed my lips together as i walked back to the classroom, “hey.. here’s sofia guardian’s phone number” i hand in the paper with the number, “also joey is outside, i don’t know what happened but she doesn’t look good.. go talk to her, i’ll help sofia pack her things and call her mum it’s okay” i place my hand on top of y/n’s shoulder and rub it a little, “joey? oh good lord. you sure you don’t mind harry?”, “what? y/n of course not, go check on her”.

and like agreed i stayed packing sofia’s backpack, she’s 4 years old, has long brown curly hair and loves care bears, her favourite being tenderheart, the same as mine which leads to a lot of tenderheart bear stickers on my briefcase when i’m not looking and drawings on my desk first thing in the morning, even though i believe she prefers y/n’s teaching to mine, i would also respond well to anything y/n tried to teach me if i have to be totally honest.

it’s now 9:30pm, y/n and i are walking back to her home after our semi-date, semi date because we aren’t really dating but we just went to the cinema and shared a big bucket of popcorn, “so.. joey?” i ask, niall always says i’m the snoopiest person he knows, “oh… joey had a panic attack at work and that’s why i went home earlier, she did tell me about niall, said the secret was eating her alive” y/n gives a worried smile and intertwines her hand in mine, “she’s better now, she said she was going to call niall so they could hang out for a bit while we were at the cinema”, “do you think it’ll work between them?”, i ask, genuinely, niall is one of my best friends but his relationships always end up with him listening to the most heartbreaking songs and bad 90s films, “well, knowing joey.. her standards are high, all the men she ever loved were our front door neighbour back home and fictional men that were written by women”, “she’s a wise woman”, “she has her days of absolutely handling adult life better than i do”, “y/n” i call out, “yes?”, she looks up at me…

“do you regret leaving..-“

“harry i really don’t and i don’t want u to think i’m using you to forget him.. i really like you and i don’t want.. you to think that i’m using you for great sex and as a rebound” 

“i don’t think that”

“you don’t?”

“no, i think you’re the future mother of my children” 

“harry.”

“i mean it” 

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a little more on asthore!

i made a playlist for the fic and i felt like sharing it could be a good idea! tomorrow i'll be posting a little info on side characters and a little bit of y/n's back story as y/n is one of my favourite characters i've ever written and i feel so much love for them.

hello my doves!!

as promised here's more info on the side characters and i face claimed them so we can all visualise them 🥹

thank you for all the love on asthore so far i'm so thankful 🥹

CLOVER!!!!!! can you please show us how sunbeam harry and y/n would be 5 years later?

thank u 🥺

HEY BFF

i made 5 years later instagram accounts for sunbeam harry and y/n my sweet babies 🥹🥹

in my head y/n is now a ballet teacher for little girls and has her freelancer photography job that she loves so much, especially photographing harry.

as for harry i think he has released many more books and has his own private collection of over a thousand books, he has once tried y/n's class for kids... ended up with a twisted ankle (so real)

as for the both of them i think they're getting into real territory of wanting a baby even with y/n's young age, babies are apparently everywhere and they're high on baby fever

i might write an actual chapter on this soon because sunbeam is my first born, my baby and i miss writing about them so much! anyways i hope you enjoy this 🥹

clo 🤍

can you tell us the story of how cloudburst y/n and harry met?

yes!!! here it goes :)

y/n was dreading leaving the bed, even though being a teacher was a life long dream she was absolutely panicky about having to go to an actual pre school, introduce herself, meet new people and actually become an adult but still just out of university. tony was still asleep, his forehead visibly sweating from a mid august summer heat, sheets pushed back and y/n's cat, pickles, at the end of the bed asleep as well, y/n groans and sits in bed, funnily enough, there's a storm outside, still awfully hot though. pickles stretches and jumps to the floor, meowing as she walks ahead of y/n in the direction of the kitchen, y/n fills her pet bowl with pickles' favourite food. y/n fills up the the espresso machine with oat milk to foam it, and then presses the button for the well desired shot of strong espresso, it immediately gives her a boost of energy for the rest of the day. it's been 45 minutes and y/n is curling her lashes as the last step before applying mascara and leaving the house, she's frustrated, she's in summer clothing but dreading the rain outside, a black cropped t-shirt and a long brown and green skirt that hugs her hips just fine and sneakers that would save her from getting her feet all wet, her long brown hair is wavy from yesterday's beach day and her freckles more notable than usual.

the tube ride isn't long but she can feel her back sweating like crazy, as well as her thighs, she mentally cursed herself for not wearing shorts underneath. the school is an eco-school, y/n has seen some of the pictures and she's so excited to actually see the school irl. she hears her stop and gets up, awaiting for the doors to open, she gets out, holding onto her laptop bag a little tighter as she walks through the swarm of people, "a perfect beach day and you're in the tube" she thinks to herself.

the school building is typically british brown but has a beautiful outdoor space with swing sets and slices, as well as a sort of big patch of lettuces, carrots, tomatoes and other veggies y/n can't quite put her finger on and lastly a big space with various farm animals. inside the school the walls are white, there's a little play house with a slide, there's a play kitchen and a play bedroom and big table with crafts on top of it as well as big book shelves with countless books. the walls are filled with drawings, mostly signed by the preschool teachers with the name and their age/room they have classes in. y/n feels immediately at home.

she walks towards the reception and smiles at the lady she had once talked on the phone with, "hello ms charter! i came in to sign my contract!" y/n smiles and ms charter does some chit chatting as she goes through the paperwork for the upcoming school year. "oh ms charter i need you so bad, billy, aimee's son was in my class while she went to grab their lunch and now his nose is bleeding and he won't let me near him- oh fork i'm so sorry i didn't know you were busy" he says, "i'm harry... or mr styles i don't know if you're a parent..." harry, harry styles. that's a pretty name for a pretty face, "oh i'm y/n y/l/n i'm here to sign the contract, i start next month!" y/n gives him a big smile, "about that boy, do u want me to try and help?" y/n places her bag on top of the counter and follows harry into his classroom.

at the door there's his name, "mr styles" and a blank space, y/n immediately thinks "god i hope it's me", she doesn't take long to look into the room as little billy is now filled with blood on his t-shirt, "hello billy! i'm y/n, do u think i can help?" billy showed no restraint and let y/n clean and get him cotton for his nose, harry was mesmerised, he could feel his biological clock ticking as y/n praised the little boy and gave him gentle head caresses as his sobbing stopped. y/n held the 3 year old and he rest his head on her shoulder as his breathing eased, "wow. how did u do that" harry asked still astonished, "well i'm a special ed teacher, i have the gentle touch" y/n keeps caressing the little boy as his eyes got heavy, "oh! i think you're the girl coming into my class, i'm starting a set of new students in september and the headmaster told me they were looking for a special ed teacher for my class" harry's eyes lit up, he couldn't stop staring at the girl and explaining she was gonna spend every day with him. "oh really? that's fantastic! the vibes in this classroom are amazing by the way, mr styles" y/n giggles, thinking of when he said "i don't know if you're a parent", "oh god i'm so sorry about that, i get so nervous around parents still!" his palms are sweaty and his heartbeat sped up, he feels like a teen looking at y/n but at the same time he feels like asking her to marry him immediately and have his babies. completely infatuated.

hope u enjoyed it!!!