#truly it is just so fucking ridiculous
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“Lance is rude. Lance is a dick.”
Okay well you try being constantly asked by media in a crowded, echoing space if you’re having problems with your confidence after you’ve shown improvement that has been ignored. You try being kind to people only to have the kindness thrown back in your face and vitriol said behind your back. You try facing back handed commentary and snide remarks about your future. Day in and day out, you try having article after article slandering your name being put out simply because people hate that you have money in a sport where that is the norm.
I’d be fed the fuck up too. Lance shouldn’t have to play nice for these people to treat him with the bare minimum respect. He deserves his seat, and I’m sick of it always being questioned if he does.
#truly it is just so fucking ridiculous#I shouldn’t have to point out to people his countless good drives just so they will maybe start to take him seriously#lances talent has never been in quali#that’s just the truth of it#but his race pace and his ability to move up positions rapidly is#I’ve seen him do it countless times#to ask him about his confidence post quali which is not his strong suit on a technically challenging course is bs#Lance sweetie let me know if you want me to rock up to the function with nothing but my hands and some well placed words#lance stroll#formula 1
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watched saltburn and really fucking liked it actually. day 5937 of realising people on tiktok are just cowards
#‘IT’S SO WEIRD’ do you think that was like. an accident. do you not think it’s supposed to be weird and unsettling and a little ridiculous#and the way it’s FILMED godddd the scenes were all so well shot#I’ll admit I spent the first hour not impressed at all bc I thought it was a really stale class take#like the moment I saw they were oxford students my face was just 😐😐😐#AND THEN I was kinda getting into it but thought they were gonna make the only working class kid the villain so I was still 😐😐😐#BUT THEN. BUT. THEN#I need to rewatch with full context so I can appreciate it properly#watching edits of it on tiktok like im gonna skip all the coquette vids romanticising the lifestyle but my GOD have some people popped off#w the creepy/obsessive audios. the people who get it truly get it#him in the maze with the antlers. real as fuck#just for people to be like ‘am i the only one who couldn’t finish it 😰’ SORRY YOU HATE FREAKISH MEDIA#saltburn
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Sure I’m glad (mostly) that YA is the booming juggernaut it is today because it’s cool that 14 year olds can have stories for them. Sure. More books is always better. That’s fun— thoughts on book influencer culture and grown-ups and literature as soulless and ever-churning product aside. It’s cool to walk into any tiny neighborhood library branch and see a dedicated space for teenagers. When I was a young teenager there were a couple of small shelves in between adult audiobooks and the biographical section where you walked in and your choices were either Twilight, Eragon, or some candy-pink Sex And The City-lite dishy little book like the one that has got some reason come rushing unbidden to the forefront of my memory this morning called “Vegan Virgin Valentine” which I never wound up reading but was always compelled by through a mixture of intrigue and condescension. The YA landscape pre-Hunger Games mania was like…here’s a super scandalous book about anorexia or teen pregnancy written in verse. Or a pandering Book For Boys about combat or fart humor. Or a twilight knock-off about a girl who has sex with a ghost. So while any glimpse of the bloated realm of teen publishing makes me feel exhausted on account of the feverish adult fans who populate it it’s probably full of important stories for teenagers. But like truly Kids These Days have no idea what it’s like to have your only option be called “The Earth, My Butt, And Other Big Round Things” (real) or “Everlost: Soulfyre Book 3” (fabricated poorly for effect)
#and I was not allowed internet access so I couldn’t order in requests from other branches#it was me and the tiny little shelves at the s******* h*** branch against the world#and none of that cool teen centered seating area with magazines and board games and video games or whatever#and the fucking late fees#I paid SO much to the fucking CLP it was ridiculous#grrrrrr both ways uphill etc#and truly no shade if you’re reading like Sarah J Maas genuinely if it brings you joy then I’m glad you have joy in your life!#im just a bit more like McCarthypilled you know#i really liked a series that was set in an elite boarding school and there was lots of murder and like stealing someone’s identity for#a whole year kind of thing. can’t remember what it was called#but they called the main girl Windowlicker#wait is that aphex twin#maybe it was Glasslicker
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Ranking Velcinta moments by how insane they make me feel, a(n overly) comprehensive list
As promised, here's my way too detailed ranking of all 18-ish of their moments. This (predictably) got obnoxiously long toward the end, so venture under the cut if you actually care and/or don't mind a lot of scrolling.
18. Valley One (Ep. 6)
I'm relatively sane about this. Except when I think about how they probably slept in that little hut the night before. Also when I think about how this is one of the very few shots in which they're both visible and (relatively) in focus.
17. "No farewells tonight." (Ep. 5)
Mostly was insane about this when the episode first came out and I was SO. FUCKING. WORRIED. that they were gonna die in the next one.
16. "What are they doing?" (Ep. 5)
Girlfriends who scowl together stay together (please Tony Gilroy I'm begging you).
15. Feeding the dray (Ep. 5)
The fact that Cinta is smiling here is what makes me most crazy. Also I just adore this flash of simple domesticity with them. Ahh, what could have been....
14. "Have you heard from Cinta?" (Ep. 7)
Vel not being able to look Kleya in the eye when she asks about Cinta makes me crazy mostly for the whole "Vel/Kleya exes" plot but of course this whole part had me jumping out of my seat on first watch.
13. "The rebellion comes first. We take what's left." (Ep. 9)
VEL FINDING STRENGTH IN CINTA'S WORDS AND USING THEM TO HELP MON WITH HER DOUBTS TOO I'M !!!!!
(went all-caps way before I thought I would, maybe this one should be higher....)
12. Into the smoke (Ep. 12)
She looks so worried when Cinta isn't where she's supposed to be and then she sprints INTO the melee while everyone else is running AWAY. I'M NOT FINE!!!!
11. At the campfire (Ep. 4)
I swear to y'all that the first time I watched this episode and saw them sitting so close I was like "oh. hey" fully intending to ship them even if that was literally all we got. And then holy fucking shit we got everything I was too afraid to ask for. So this moment always has a special place in my heart.
10. "What's she doing?" (Ep. 4)
It. Makes. Me. CRAZY. That the first time they share a scene together, they're literally always in the same frame.
CRAZY.
Like....they've been connected from the VERY beginning, even if the show revealed them being together rather slowly. Also it's everything to me that the first time we see Cinta it's Taramyn asking her what Vel is up to bringing a new guy in. Because if anyone would know, it would be her.
9. "Stay focused, Clem." (Ep. 5)
All of the territorial Vel stuff is great to me but I especially love this moment. First of all Cinta's little smirk. And also it's just so....idk it's a quiet moment of contemplation and probably anxiety but we can't not take a second to tell Clem to back off.
I'm combining this with the "you can dress yourself" bit too because that moment just makes me laugh with how Vel's always in the background watching and then immediately jumps up to give Clem the business and use his scuffle with Skeen as an excuse to mark her territory.
8. "Closet?" "Empty." (Ep. 12)
That bit of dialogue made my gay little self so happy and then they went and did the whole "that's blood" "it's not mine" thing and I'll never recover. Vel being so concerned that she won't even let Cinta keep packing, but then at the very end she's a little impressed/turned on??? 10/10 no notes. (okay I have one note and that's "you're really just going to leave me hanging like that for two years?????" but that's a different post)
7. "Get down!" (Ep. 6)
Truly one of my favorite scenes in the whole show is when Vel almost loses her shit at the top of the dam. The tension is insane, her fear is PALPABLE, and I absolutely love that it's Cinta just calling her out for stalling and then yelling at her that breaks her out of it.
But the thing that makes me feel most crazy about this scene is this:
Someone please explain to me WHY Cinta makes the jump while looking directly at Vel. EXPLAIN IT TO ME. Or else I will just continue to believe it's because part of her is scared up there too and looking at Vel is what helps her take the leap. That is a crazy thought -- I'm pretty sure she's fine -- but if it's not that then I don't get why she's even facing that way??
6. This (Ep. 8)
THE MUSIC. THE FADE. THE SORROW. I like literally can't even talk about this one. But it does make me feel a lot how obvious it is that Vel's thoughts are soooooooooo far from the fight here:
While at the same time there's not a thought in Cinta's head about her:
Breaks my fucking heart.
5. "No. She didn't tell me." (Ep. 5)
Whew. This moment. For a while I was mostly happy about this moment because it was just one more piece of evidence that they were together before that was fully confirmed.
But then my headcanon brain took over while I was writing my multichapter fic and it has been fucking me up ever since. Because I'm always going to wonder if all their drama was always going to happen the way it did or if Vel betraying Cinta's trust as a partner was some kind of breaking point.
Is that probably just me? Yes. Does it matter? Not to this ranking.
4. "She's already sharin' a blanket if that's what you're wonderin'." (Ep. 5)
I was!!! I was wonderin'!!!!! And I will forever use this phrase as a euphemism for being a lesbian.
What I would not give........to experience this line and this shot for the first time again. Or at least know what I sounded like giving a joyous shout.
3. "Tell me you'll be alright." (Ep. 6)
This is the one that I would probably sound the most insane trying to talk about out loud. It would be a lot of me like verbally keysmashing and somehow going "!!!!!!" out loud.
The hand-hold that saved my life? The EMOTION in their eyes when they look at each other??? Vel starting to go in for the goodbye kiss right in front of the hostages' salad but then just not????????
Fuck.
FUCK!!!!!!!
2. "Come away from the window." (Ep. 12)
I have to start by talking about Vel's cute little sad grin in this scene when she's like "nice to see you too" and Cinta like glares back at her. That made me feel crazy enough but then this whole scene that I want to say I can't even put into words even though I have in fact already done it.
The desperation on Vel's part is what kills me. Not that she's desperate for attention or love or whatever people always try to pin on her here (and of course it is that to some degree) but that she's desperate to keep Cinta from losing herself. She's so desperate but all she can do is ask. All she can do is hope Cinta will turn around and take a break. And she does.
BUT WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENS AFTER THAT TONY GILROY?!
I have never screamed so loud about a scene just ending.
Whatever, it gave me something to write and I enjoyed doing that.
1. "You love me because I show you what you need to see." (Ep. 8)
And here we are. The scene that has taken up space in my brain more than any other single thing since I saw it. I've been over it so many times. Watching and taking notes, staring at the gifs, studying the screencaps, trying to wrap my head around every little line and gesture and movement and emotion. I've spent hours on it, and I still find myself coming back to think about it and wondering if I've truly understood it all.
Just getting them reunited after Aldhani was such a relief (even though it was jarring at first to just see Cinta and be like "how the fuck did you get here?"). But then the conversation just knocked me on my ass.
"Haven't we been apart long enough?" YES YOU HAVE!!
"We take what's left." NOOOO TAKE IT ALL
"That's cold...even for you." Stabbing me in the face would be less painful.
And then...hearing the words "you love me" from one woman to another woman in a Star Wars show....not a book, not a comic...a show. Truly meant everything to me. I was so fucking happy to hear those words that I couldn't even process how goddamn sad the rest of it was until later. Once I did I had a stomachache for an entire week. I have one again right now.
And then it ends with the most fucking beautiful hand-hold and yet another tiny look that makes me feel crazy in and of itself (which I've done a whole post on by itself), and despite my broken heart I have hope.
If I am ever able to watch this scene and not feel seventeen emotions at once, it's over for me.
Easy number one.
#yeah this is a truly ridiculous post#i'm sorry#and it will rightfully get a total of 3 notes#but honestly i'm satisfied with it even just as a collection of all their moments#ps fuck you tumblr for having a 30 image limit lmao#jk but really if you're responsible and use a read more you should be allowed more than that#anyway don't block me pls#velcinta#vel sartha#cinta kaz#andor#after this i may have to amend my favorite episode ranking#and put 5 above 6#which i've been thinking about doing anyway so this is probably the sign i needed#my posts#bookmarks
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the thing with doctor who i think is that it gets better the more you know. maybe this is true of all writing but i only know doctor who so we'll focus on that. but i think it gets better the more you know this is why my fic is not very good. i dont know many things. i think if you have a background in like, just any field you can use you can make your doctor who stories more interesting. like linguistics maths physics and music are things that come to mind for me that i would like to know to make my doctor who stories more interesting but i think it can work with, like, almost anything. biology stuff also works well adds a lot. sociology stuff history. if you know how to sew really well or youve worked in meat factories. just, if you have deep knowledge about something this will enrich your doctor who stories (again, might be true for literally every writing)
but also things you can know that are just lived and not books. like i said with that post about different countries' doctor whos, every country would bring its own history and values and perspective to the stories. but also like for example the class stuff or the queer stuff you see with rtds stories like anything a writer Knows will make their stories more interesting
and thats why doctor who could literally be so good If They Diversified Their Fucking Staff. in every sense of the word. you need disabled people, trans people, racialised people, people with different religions but you need people who know other things than writing too! which i get is difficult because theyre mostly working in their fields and not writing but like there are writers who are not or have not only ever just been writers. or just get writers with some weird fucking hobbies!
even in the most basic way even if you keep your entire show white christian able-bodied man, if you have more of those you will have better stories. it will still suck! but like, less than if you only have 1 guy writing right? thats not a novel concept artists know this writers know this thats why they work together. and i get that making tv is very complex and theres a lot of interests and a lot of choices being made that arent even to do with the stories but i find it so frustrating to think about how good doctor who could be if they let other people in to put their knowledge and their perspective in the stories
#and not just in the writing but in Every Department Obviously#i just dotn know how television is made so i dont know. like. what those are#the secret good disabled trans decolonialist doctor who that lives in my head man#like you know that feeling when an artist like...........Gets a certain theme or smth#like Knows what to do with it bc they have a certain own experience or knowledge#like when an artist truly fucking knows what theyre doing#you know that feeling? when youre like this SAYS something abt the theme/trope/idea/whatevs#you know?#doctor who is so full of unused potential#i feel like we're spinning our wheels a little bit#and maybe others feel that too bc showrunners keep being like WE NEED NEW SHOCK BIG NEW#but like. youre not gonna get that with the same old perspectives!#for truly new good refreshing you need some new good refreshing people on the mic#anyway. just. frustrates me#10 to the master but it's me to doctor who the show: you could be so much more!#like 13 and 15 are fun right? with the idk new outfit and the rwandan proverb on the sonic. fucks. but#to use rtds own words. ridiculous craven feeble gesture also a little bit. i want like. substantially good stories#i want to feel like the writer knows what theyre talking about you know?#you know that feeling#anyway#you get what im saying#the secret good doctor who that lives in my head man#except. it doesnt live in my head. bc it lives in many otherp eoples head. by definition#but sometimes i read like fic by friends who fucking Know things and im like damn#damn!!!!! doctor who could be so much better!!!!!!#i also think when youre a writer whos only a writer theres the risk of chasing your own tail a bit#in that th elonger youre a writer the more you only start writing about writing bc thats what you Know#i think thats a risk#also not a novel concept pretty sure professional writers are aware of that one gfhkjghgjg theyre not stupid
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can we actually take a moment and remember swan upon leda? can we actually shut the fuck up and sit the fuck down and think about our lord and savior swan upon leda because i'm tired of doing it alone every single day guys
#the title itself!!! THE FUCKING TITLE#swan UPON leda#god he's an actual genius THANK U HOZIER SO FUCKING MUCH#i hate how that myth is portrayed and received and objectified bc they make it out to be such a funny little chuckle story like 'hahaha led#is SO easy that she fell for a swan isn't that actually the funniest thing you've ever heard omg like women are literally so easy to please#whatever whatever blahblahblah yes that's fucking hilarious matthew thank u SO much for that absolutely fascinating commentary on a women#getting raped by a god really truly an amazing insight into ur pea fucking brain#like fuck sorry but i just absolutely despises how this myth is made out to be and i remember learning abt it in class and being literally#nauseated bc guess fucking what it's literally not hard to understand wtf is happening and while u r laughing away about i repeat a WOMEN#getting RAPED some fucking of us have brain enough to be mortified#jesus ANYWAY#hozier dropped that song after roe v wade was over turned and i just i love him so fucking much he cares SO MUCH and before anything else#he's an activist and he actually gives a shit about women's rights and he dropped this song as a comfort as something to hold onto but also#as a social commentary and he linked charities and resources to help women and keep them safe and this song just means everything to me#bc greek mythology often gets reduced to children stories bc most ppl know myths from children books and obviously a book for kids not gonn#outloud say the word rape or even imply that that's what's happening and that's fine ig but bc so many ppl know it from there it gets#reduces to a joke and a raped women gets ridiculed but hozier actually took one of the few poems about leda being raped and it being a rape#at all and made it into a song during a time that was so traumatizing for ever afab person in the world basically and it just says 'i see#you i see what you're going through and i'm listening and i actually care and i want to help you' and he's helping by writing a song yes bc#he's spreading the word that way bc that's how movements are spread and people listen to him when he's singing and that's how he helps and#i did i mention that i love him? bc i'd actually do anything for him and to meet him and tell him how much he fucking means to me#the line that always gets me is 'a crying CHILD pushes a CHILD into the night' bc yes she was a fucking child who had to deliver 4 KIDS BC#AN ASSHOLE DECIDED SHE WAS PRETTY ENOUGH TO FUCK and nobody ever cares that she was just a child and her child helen was just a child when#she was abducted and raped and impregnated (JUST LIKE HER MOTHER) by theseus a supposed great hero and im genuinely sick she was just a#child like so many women or girls in greek mythology and ik it was a different time back then or wtv but they were just GIRLS and nobody#cared about that or cares now. but this song does.#bc of course it does it's hozier.#hozier#swan upon leda
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I am once again begging for the people who work on rwby to learn how to frame shit
Blake chews out Batman for acting like he's alone and then storms towards Arkham Asylum. She walks alone into darkness while he's bathed in warm light next to everybody else
It's so contradictory. If they wanted to properly frame this shit, it should be Blake with her friends and in the light because she's enlightened and Batman swathed alone in shadows. As is, this frames Batman in the right (which he is) and Blake as going crazy
Either the artists rebelled against this shit by weaponizing the framing, like the animators of rwby did multiple times, or everyone who works on rwby stuff gets overdosed on stupid juice
#rwde#seriously blake what in the absolute shit is wrong w you#batman has a legit concern of relying too much on an ability hes bound to lose and you somehow think thats a fear of being weak in general?#youve also known the dude for like. 3 hours under extremely unusual circumstances. you dont know shit abt who batman truly is#you are projecting so hard its making you look stupid#preachy prick#but seriously this is ridiculous. it has to be on purpose#there shouldnt be a way to fuck up this bad as a professional#THREE different dudes worked on the art. i refuse to believe it slipped everyones notice. there's just no way#also this is the exact same problem ive talked abt before w the framing of ruby yelling at qrow in v6#rent composition 2 electric boogaloo
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every time i so much as think about that scene where light looks at porn magazines while scowling i go into hysterics its genuinely the funniest thing i've ever seen
#the funniest thing is is that i truly believe he thought he was being 100% convincing. that that's normal behavior for a completely straight#completely allosexual man#light is fucking awful and i hate him but also there's nuance to him. and sometimes i can get a little like. oh thinking about his life#before the series. specifically factoring in my headcanons about him being gay aroace and autistic and stuff. ppl have written some rlly#good fics surrounding those topics.... but yeah thats not even canon stuff but i dont care#anyways its not in a way of making excuses for how he is i just think it adds more to his character#hes total garbage but i think theres really interesting stuff with him when it comes to how he's.... VERY disconnected from others#just in general. he's like aware of how to act ''normal'' on like the most textbook surface level without being like. Aware enough to#be able to make it more convincing. and as ridiculous as it is i do see some of myself in him in that sense#also that person who said light and L is just autistic guy who's been masking his entire life vs autistic guy who's never masked in his#entire life. LITERALLY EXACTLY. genuinely perfect way to describe them they are both so similar when it comes to this#but the ways they go about it are very different. light has been playing the part of the perfect son his whole life. L doesnt try to change#himself for anyone and doesnt care when people think hes weird. both of them arent very socially aware and havent had any real friends#their whole lives. its such a fascinating parallel between them#i could go on a whole fucking thing about how light was pretending to be someone he's not around his family and at school and everything#long before he got the death note BUT. i wont. at least not right now#jesus christ how did i go from laughing about him with the magazine to this. my bad#derailed my own damn post. idk swagever#will say rq tho. watched a vid on youtube that pointed out how light expected his family to think nothing of the fact that he's gone to#such drastic measures to hide his diary when making the plan with hiding the death note which is like#that level of dedication would NOT be normal. so the fact that light expects his family to think nothing of it......#i mean you could read that as light just once again being socially unaware. but it could also imply that light's family kind of Knows#he's hiding something and just doesn't address it. (he's gay. im talking about him being gay)#the video also referenced this comic that i didnt rb cause the actual premise of it (lawlight wedding) is um.#not at all my kind of thing. BUT it was light describing himself as a house with a basement when his family sees him as a one story house#and i thought that was such a cool analogy#ANYWAYYYSSSS i need to go to bed. thanks if you read my ramblings#serena.txt#death note posting
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Thank you for everything girls, thank you for let us dream at least a little
I'm sorry that y'all come from a country that proclaims themselves the ''country of football'' then self sabotage the women's teams
#brazil wnt#brazil nt#wwc 2023#I'm SO SORRY that y'all come from a country that self-sabotage the women's teams then will point fingers and say:#''see?? this is why we don't invest in them''#but will throw money at every single flopped boy ''com alegria nas pernas'' who kicks a ball#I'm sorry that you don't get the same investment support or visibility#I'm not saying that there aren't male players who love the sport but if you are a woman and want to be a player on this country...#you doing it because YOU TRULY LOVE the sport with all your heart#you know you won't have the same support - from both CBF nor the fans#in fact you'll have to deal with your people ROOTING AGAINST YOU just BECAUSE you are a woman who dared play football#its ridiculous#I'll ALWAYS support Brazil regardless#be it the men's or the women's I will be there I'll never give up on them#rena ramblings#rant in tags#don't worry girls you'll never be as embarrassing as the men - they took fucking 7 goals playing at HOME while claiming themselves the bes
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basically threw away £20 on my nails today so was already getting weird bc i apparently cannot be normal about money and then my paycheck came through just for my manager to have knocked off 11 hours worth of pay. so naturally i am crying in a dark room about it
#this is such a girl moment wdym you’re crying about your fucking nails. couldn’t explain it to you if i tried#im just an utter FREAK about money and then for my payslip to get fucked as well. whyyyyy would you do that#im not built for the working world truly idk how sensitive people do it bc i am NOT im tough as shit 99% of the time and i STILL can’t deal#just give me my fucking money it’s not fair 😭😭😭 i worked hard 😭😭😭#and the dumbest brattiest part of this is that the thing that tipped me over the edge is that my mum didn’t offer to pay for my nails#like how ridiculous and spoiled is that but still i was so so angry at myself about fucking them up and it’s £25 to get them done tomorrow#and I’ve worked so hard for her this summer and both days I’ve been in town I’ve got her things#like nothing spenny but I’ve just thought of her and got her things I know she’d like just to be nice#and £25 is NOTHING TO HER AND SHE DIDNT EVEN OFFER 😭😭 she even joked it off#she was like ‘your dad would offer to pay if he was here but I believe in lessons’ GIRL FUCK YOUR LESSONS I WANT MY NAILS DONE 😭😭😭#why am i actually in tears over this. this is so silly. now all my money is fucked and im going to be the skint one when we go to dublin#AS USUAL. even though i worked hard and clocked the hours it still got fucked bc im fucking. cursed#im aware im being dramatic and this isn’t even about the amount of money i have atm i promise this isn’t some desperate bankruptcy claim#like for once im actually fine money wise it’s just all been FUCKED and my dates are now FUCKED bc i have to wait for next paycheck now#and it’s so unfair bc usually things go wrong for me bc im DUMB and mess it up LIKE MY NAIL APPOINTMENT#but for work and dublin i literally planned it perfectly and did the hours and it still didn’t work#like what is WRONG with me. i hate being an adult i need a sugar daddy ive had enough#the message I sent my manager…. scathing…. ik his scared of confrontation ass is panicking. give me my fucking MONEY#hella goes home
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what are you getting us for ashton’s birthday
some respect for fanfic authors as people will be first on the list <3
#ashton would want me to sass u <3#so i do this in honor of his birth <3#no but fr this reeks of entitlement bestie and idk if ur trying to be funny or not but if u r the joke is not landing#and if this is the same person who sent asks to another author asking for stuff for ashton's birthday pls know it's just not ok#it is *rude* baby.#like this is just genuinely very not okay. and i dont know how many times fanfic authors are going to have to tell readers that.#u genuinely cannot just go demanding authors for or expecting things from them. i dont know *where* this sense of entitlement is coming fro#like also ? the tone of this is so ?#i have no obligation to give you anything baby.#i am sort of just shocked by this#bc i was like 'it's his birthday hehe' and i was really quite happy about it#and then i got this and my mood tanked instantly. i am not ?? here to *give* you things like i owe them to u. r we clear??#and ik this just happened to another ash author too and like guys cmon?? i dont know how u cant see how this isnt acceptable#i mean readers have been entitled in the past but this last year is just... fucking insane. like i havent even been answering some asks#bc the shit i get is just like. sometimes so ridiculous it doesnt warrant a response. and ik im not the only one. im truly at a loss#fucking 40 kudos to 1 comment ratio on ao3. and yall think im gonna give u smthn bc u think u deserve it? u dont.#i dont know how u thought this was ok to send to an author who shares stuff entirely for free. like absolutely unfathomable to me.#and like i love my anons guys i really do. but a lot of people are coming in *expecting* things or demanding things from me. that's not ok#and u need to cut that shit out. now.#upsetting me on my fave holiday too :( how could u#this better have fucking been a joke that's all im fucking saying.#bc it's 1 am and im pissed.#pigeon#anon#sorry if im meeting this with an absurd amount of vitriol or whatever it is people say abt me but cmon guys#i dont know how u typed this out and thought 'yeah this is ok to send to someone <3 doesn't make me sound ungrateful and entitled at all'#fr guys u need to be respectful of authors please. treating us like people and not content machines <3 would be a really cute first step <3#not here for ur entertainment. here for mine. and u get to read some of the stuff i write. bc i like sharing#but the second people start being a dick to me. im gonna stop sharing my shit#so be nice to me and other authors if u want anything at all
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#oh ofc she's mad now. texted her two days ago apologising and like. not excusing myself but telling her#im just in the middle of continuous daily mental breakdowns#and just cannot bring myself to text back and talk about some silly shit i just cant.#and she viewed it and didnt respond.#she did respond when i asked if she can make it to the rehearsal at monday since we're singing a duet in the concert on wednesday tho#so at least that#god i just keep fucking up huh this happens every fucking time with every single friendship of mine i just keep fucking up#my brain was truly designed to sabotage me at every turn this is ridiculous lol#and like i cant even blame her for this lol and lmao like this is CLEARLY my fault and that only makes it worse 🤡#how do i communicate to people that i really truly CARE about them. im just fucked in the head and have terrible antisocial coping skills
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if i start posting about my one copia-coded oc. well. be ready for that.
#thinking about her so much lately. she kills people for her dad who pretends he's not her dad. she's autistic. she's never been truly loved.#she loves ants and has an ant farm and leaves old food all over her bedroom so more ants will come over.#she has a ridiculous makeup routine she has to do every day or she'll die. she eats string cheese and cold boiled eggs and energy drinks.#she has a younger half-brother who's a marine biologist and hates her.#her entire character arc is her wanting to get fucked so bad she orchestrates a coup.#she's jesus coded (dies age 33 and comes back).#somehow i made her long before i ever knew copia existed. but i'm sure you can see now why he appeals to me so much.#anyway i wrote one egregiously long book about her but it ended up in my backlog. and got kinda unwieldy.#so i'm gonna pick it for scraps + write another one and just. focus on what really matters this time (all of the above things).#she's probably my favorite oc like i for real have written something in the range of 250k words of content about her.#anyway. ANYWAY.
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#I don’t think they’re gearing up to end it rn#I know what they’re doing is purposeful like glaringly and ridiculously so because so many celebrities would shield their kids rather than#do this unprompted#and I think there’s a reason for this but I don’t think it’s ending now (although maybe they do want it to be as public as possible idk)#but I do think it’s possible louis is stunting so hard in exchange for artistic freedom and creative control and that album is probably#going to be queer as fuck#judging by some of the lyrics we are sure of and his resistance to ascribing meaning to them and the way he’s been talking about#the album being most him and even btm being seen by the label as potentially too alternative#I really hope he’s as happy and confident in the artistic aspect of his career and the album is what he wanted to do (and I really think it#is) and I really think that that’s where he’s going to be expressing himself most and I’m really so certain it’s going to scream queer#like even the btm cover green eye george michael reference is truly… something and the layers to btm and its meaning and the way he’s#talked about the song like#he saw how queer his audience is and he saw we understand the meanings of those songs and love them and he knows that we’re going to see#that in lt2 again and that we see him and I hope the album is everything he wished for#I think he’s paying a high price for it and it’s just not totally infeasible good think that if harry paid a high fucking price to be able#to do my policeman#louis is paying a high price to be able to have more artistic freedom#anyway some food for thought#I would LOVE for this to be explainable as an ending but eh not holding my breath
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ok hi everyone reblogging this post needs to stop. NOW. do not spread any of this terfy bullshit by reblogging it just to dunk on them, not only are you exposing your transfem followers to this shit but you're also spreading around their bullshit. block and report. do not give them any more of a platform
#txt#tf2#transmisogyny#transmisogyny tw#putting it in the main tags so people can see i guess. please just block. this is fucking ridiculous#im glad you can recognize they are one and im glad youre against it! truly i am! but you need to consider your transfem friends & followers#also if you dont see this to be terfy or anything in the slightest Im gonna need you to learn about some of their dogwhistles n shit man#one quick look at this blog and its just fucking obvious. THeyre so proud about being a r@dfem. its fucking sickening.
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thinking about how my sister just got engaged at 27 to her first boyfriend ever and i just don’t have a good feeling about it
#i mean i’m not talking to her right now lmao. i did not even say congrats#but i’m still her older sister and i don’t believe she really has experienced enough of the world and of love itself to be tied down#at least in that way — technically speaking she’s already ‘’tied down’’ being in a long term committed relationship#but like. i know she thinks my mom had us when she was ‘’too old’’#my mom had me at 35 and my sister at 38#my sister criticizes my mother for that and has made comments throughout the years about how her friends mothers are all so much younger#meanwhile my mother lived an EXPANSIVE life in hers 20s and early 30s#she went out outward bound trips with hippy dippy granola eating fucks and camped out for months on end#she jumped out of planes and paraglided and rode motorcycles#she was a huge pothead and spent so much time at the beach studying tide pools and looking for horseshoe crabs#she even metal detected after storms to see if she could find unique lost beautiful jewelery and other items that were lost at sea#she was a PERSON and without those experiences would NOT have been our mother#i’ve explained this to my sister dozens of times over — your opinion of our moms age is based upon you not seeing her as a PERSON w/ a LIFE#and she does not care. she still believes my mom was ‘’too old’’ which is a ridiculous argument because having kids in your 30s is NOT. OLD#like even outside of my opinion of our moms life. my sister is literally just wrong across the board because 30s is NORMAL#she frustrates me to no end because our ‘’differences of opinion’’ are actually REALLY big differences like. stop dehumanizing our mom….?#so truly. honestly. this is just a big push to ‘’not end up like’’ our mom so she’s getting married earlier and will have kids earlier#now in my own right i don’t want to ‘’end up like’’ my mom either — ie in a marriage that is unfulfilling with a man who bosses her around#but the difference between her opinion of ‘’not ending up’’ like her is she blame MOM for everything#meanwhile in MY example i blame my father for being a piece of shit to our mother and vowed i would never be in that situation myself period#but that’s not putting blame on my mother. that’s me seeing my mother as a VICTIM of injustice and misogyny#meanwhile my sister just sees my moms decisions as a ‘’problem’’ to be ‘’fixed’’#meanwhile i am consistently reminding myself that while my mother loves her children very much…#she inherently had to LOSE herself in order to have us and fashion a new version of herself - the ‘’mom’’ version to replace her real self#my sister doesn’t care to talk to our mom about the intricacies that come with all of this. i do. quite often actually.#my moms rule was that she was not getting married before 30. period.#the first thing i said when my mom told me my sister was engaged was#‘’i don’t even believe someone should get married period. but especially not before 30’’#she agreed. because she TAUGHT us that! she TAUGHT us the importance of finding yourself before anything else#but my sister in her race to ‘’not be like’’ our mom is missing out on turning into a wonderful person for it?
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