the love triangle between david/lindsay/hermione farthingale coupled with the love triangle between david/lou/iggy coupled with the love triangle between david/angie/ava cherry all ending with him just having a stable homosexual relationship with iggy at the end of the 70’s before blowing that off and swearing off cock publicly only to recant that after monogamously marrying a woman(the love of his life). i cannot pretend that I understand a goddamn thing that was going through his head. perhaps it was nothing

Moonlight Chicken Liveblogging Ep 6-7

Ep 6

Wow my otp talking like mature adults again. All Wen had to do was show up emotionally wounded & homeless. And now he's sleeping on Jim's floor. Seize the day, babygirl!

The cat treat product placements are the best in dramaland because they mean we get adorable cat moments. Never been excited for any product placement before (besides the infamous sex bread, of course).

We're back to THE YEARNING. Babygirl has figured out that Jim will let him curl towards him and rest his head against his shoulder. This is becoming his go-to move. They clearly both savor the closeness. This is emotional edging!! Jim, you freak!!!!#

Then we get flashbacks that show Jim confronting his cheating partner with his, er, cheating. But then he dies in an accident so they can't ever resolve things.

Wen getting flirty as he 'helps' steady Jim om his waist. The way that Jim rebuffs him BUT so gently holds onto Wen's hand for a moment and strokes it. It's the sweetest lowkey soothing gesture. I'm gonna hyperventilate.

"Can I sleep on your lap?"

The way that Jim always tries to go with it when Wen wants his attention, as if to make up for the 1 big yes he can't handle yet. ❤

Definitely just friends. The most friends. 100% platonic behavior. (a common colleague)

YAS! Wen continues his campaign by joining Jim for temple and convinces him to meet the girl his ex was involved in. That's right, let's shake that baggage and see what falls out!

"We just fell in love with a selfish man."

How great was it that they avoided making that woman also involved with his ex a scheming bitch caricature? It's been some years and she's just left with these memories too but she's put it all to rest. Jim and the audience can't really know if she's telling the truth that this man loved both of them, even if he was with her first and Jim unknowingly the interloper. Was the love Jim thought he experienced a lie? It's impossible to ever know; the dead keep their secrets. But she treated him like an equal in the conversation, with respect. She's frank about the fact that they were involved first and she told the boyfriend to break with Jim (fair!) but she even assures Jim that she's not sure he would have. There's the sense that she's moved on enough to be able to examine the past clinically - but then, she'd be seen as having the 'right' to ask questions of family & friends and the confidence that she had a right to know his whereabouts & the company he kept. She wasn't in the dark and so could face her demons head-on while Jim took 4 years and Wen's support to gear up the courage to approach for answers (knowing the reaction could potentially be very ugly).

And she's now happily married to a better guy. Good 4 her. Screenwriter could have played this another way with misogynist undertones but avoided that pitfall.

📢 we have graduated to hand holding! 📢 Wen continues to be THE best boyfriend-in-waiting and they enjoy beach time and a weight off Jim's shoulders because he finally has a true confidante.

Yes now all of my cdrama experience is showing but, like, this whole concept of The One Who Truly Knows You In This Life... That's what this otp has become. What they're allowing to happen.

Just underlines what I was thinking when Wen's ex gets in a drunk accident and needs caretaking. Jim sets everything aside, brings him to the hospital and totally understands that Wen will step in to help his ex. No explanations required.

Ep 7

Wen being a good ex partner, sheparding Alan to appointments. Learning to be kind to each other again. Love this for them. This whole plotline is so well done.

[asdfghjk I got so emotional about this that I texted one of my fav exes that we need to catch up & we're brunching this weekend]

Babygirl is irrepressible. He's totally making a beach date happen by force of will. He reaches out again & again but we can see the changes happening.

It's a sharp contrast to the next scene with Gaipa and that reminds the audience that Jim will clearly and decisively shut down a suitor. He's not passive or a such people pleaser that he can't make it clear when it's not gonna happen. The situation with Wen is entirely different - there's an understanding that Jim isn't ready to go there (yet) but the feelings are very obviously mutual and there's easy skinship that's not platonic.

aaaand the situation with the nephew comes to head!

Jim (freaking tf out) : oh great I made u poor AND gay

Sexually liberated teen Li Ming, to his uncle having war flashbacks of homophobic extended family, closeted gay childhood, and first gay love who betrayed him & died still in the closet to his family: what's the big deal?

😭😂😭

Leng the hapless straight boy employee has really grown on me. The dude is simple but he's actually THE greenest of flags boyfriend in the whole cast. Gonna marry his pregnant gf who he clearly adores and just do his best. Friend of the local disaster gays. The most chill.

seriously Jim, you know Wen is THE ONE WHO KNOWS YOU and helps you work out everything you're overthinking and widens your perspective. He's out here helping untangle your internalized homophobia and the shadow of your sister's continued discomfort with your sexuality. You need this man!!!!!!! Damn it Jim!!!!!!!

Wen: what are we? ☺ let's define our relationship? ☺ you know, I might give up on you... 😏

Jim: (gives a cheek kiss) (does not, in fact, want to be given up on)

Wen: (system crash & restart)

ok but I NOTICED that once last episode and now this episode Wen playfully threatens to give up on him, seeking a good faith gesture, and both times Jim gives in. He agrees to eat out of Wen's hand in ep 6 and now 💋

awwww Gaipa's mom passes away at only 49. And that's sometimes how life goes. Good showcase of the neighborhood community they built over the last few years, because he's not dealing with this grief alone.

Oh man, another flashback to the funeral of Jim's first love and the reality that so many queer people in previous generations had to go thru - when your partner passes away and you have no rights to common property that wasn't in your name. I LOVE that's the root of Jim's financial strain that we've been witnessing -- that he lost everything that was in Beam's name, and this is part of why his reaction to his nephew's sexuality was anxiety. This drama is so much about 3 queer generations. I just really appreciate that.

Jim looking out for Wen's ex Alan as he struggles with crutches and Wen is there at the funeral for someone he doesn't really know, working on his laptop inside. Holding hands as Jim stops fighting the inevitable and lets the diner (and its ghosts) go. Just supporting each other and being THE most functional boyfriends without being boyfriends* (*technicality).

The family stuff between Jim, nephew Li Ming, and the sister/mom is compelling. The most interested I've been in the kid's storyline.

✨Meet The Characters - Weisse Rose ✨

Wasima Rahmani

Alongside Wolffe on his serial flirting, we have Wasima - the DJ, synths, sound effects and Diva of the band! If Diana is a daughter of Ares, Wasima is definitely a daughter of Aphrodite!

She is very openly lesbian and goes by Mata Hari when she's DJ-ing at underground clubs or LGBTQ+ parties.

Some character sheet things down below and then, some notes on her character down the cut, as always!

Age: Early 29

Height: 1.69 (5'5)

Astrological Sign: Aquarius (my woman is a REBEL)

Languages: Arabic, Spanish, English, French

Heavenly Virtue: Unwavering kindness - will give everything and everyone all the kindness she has in her heart; she sees vulnerability as a strength, not a weakness (so much to teach to all of them)

Hellish Sin: Puts on a Shallow Persona - inside, she isn't shallow at all and even hates it, but she thinks the more of a Diva she is, the more people will like her; it's all fake and she doesn't know how to do relationships as herself rather than ~Diva Mata Hari~

Current Occupation: DJ and Seamstress - usually for the underground scene (mostly goths) and Drag Queens

Taller than Diana, smaller than Marty no one is taller than Wolffe man is a street-lamp-post

Darker skin, beautiful glassy green eyes, heart shaped lips, natural dark hair

ALWAYS wearing makeup - be it extreme or lighter, but is NEVER seen without it

She doesn't think she needs it, she just likes it a LOT

Rebels against everything she was taught a "proper woman" should be: wears short skirts and revealing clothes, paints her very long nails, wears bright and feminine colors, cuts her hair how she feels like it, etc.

Wears her femininity as a weapon and loves it

Wasima and Diana connect over the fact on how they were taught inside religious visions of what women should be (Muslim and Catholic) and they rebelled on their own way

Wasima ended up hyper-feminine and glamorous while Diana ended up a tough androgynous goth/punk

Loves Santiago to death

Lesbian

Well-known DJ in the underground scene

A true Daughter of Aphrodite - hence why she and Diana see each other as good friends, sisters even. She has a lot to teach Diana on accepting love, femininity, fun and being flirty, while Diana teaches her a thing or two about standing up for herself and fistfighting

Had to leave her country because one of the many countless wars against Arab countries

Her parents sacrificed themselves to save her - she ended up in Spain, not knowing a single word

Taken in by one of her mother's friends who lived in Spain; got used to call her Aunt

Met Santiago in school when she was a teen refugee: they bonded over being bullied by who they are

Santi got her into DJ-ing and the LGBTQ+ scene

Learned to sew with her father - he was a tailor and she put everything he taught her into practice when making her own clothes and later for clients (mostly Drag Queens)

Dreams of having a fairy tale sort of relationship - with her being a princess and finding her she-knight in shining armor - but thinks no one will be able to truly love someone like her

I am aware her ~Arab background~ is very undefined, but it IS a choice. Weisse Rose isn't set on current times - it's sort of like in a near future. Maybe a parallel reality, if you're more comfortable with that. There are MANY wars against Arabic people and MANY refugees from MANY countries and backgrounds. I had MANY choices to work with and, in the end, I didn't want to choose one because I realized all information I have about their culture, countries, languages, religion, wars are biased - until I can't inform myself better, I don't want to make a caricature of a character.

At first, her character was the classic "Arab woman viciously mistreated by men because all Muslim/Arab men are aggressive misogynists" and I was able to see how wrong I was - how much of biased propaganda that was. It is a good plot if you don't generalize like we are made to: yes, some men are jerk misogynists, but some men are not - and race has nothing to do with that. And that's when I decided to make her story more on her having loving parents and good memories of her childhood/country until war broke it all. Even so, she found a good family with her Aunt in Spain - the prejudice against her origin/refugee status and being a lesbian is a bigger problem to her.

We can leave the abusive parents issues to Wolffe - he will have a lot to unpack and deal with; plus, parents all over the world can be jerks to their kids. It's not a race problem, it's a people problem.

Idk how i feel about authors having to be ideologically pure? I feel like i would go crazy if i had to check if every author isnt problematic. I mean most of ye olde authors were misogynistic pricks. Also married VERY young girls. You would have to " delete from existence" almost everything you've ever read.

Hello anon,

I assume this is about the JKR post. It's true that it's unrealistic to want every author to be pure. I am strongly against the idea of pureness. We're humans, we make mistakes, we learn from our mistakes, we make more mistakes. We do some very good things and some very bad things. But I think what's important is the learning from mistakes part, the striving to do better part. It's also looking at sort of how much good vs. how much bad have they done. I can't change how dead people have behaved, but what I can try to change how people currently living behave. JKR has written a book series that has inspired and influences at least one generation of readers. That is true. There are admittedly some great ideas about love, friendship, prejudice etc. but there are also some incredibly harmful caricature stereotypes of certain races and ethnicities. Both of those things are true. But more importantly JKR, as a public person, has been giving support to some truly terrifying transphobic ideas and has given money to truly harmful transphobic organisations. People have over and over again tried to explain to her that what she's doing is harmful and yet she continues to ignore them and continues to support organisations that are then forcing a change of legislature that is making life harder for trans people in the UK. This is what she is actively doing RIGHT NOW. I don't want to support someone who so clearly is harming other people, who has been told that what they're doing is harmful and yet she continues to do so. Just like I'm trying to not support Nestle because it's a company that is harming people or why the EU has been arguing about oil and gas embargo for the last 2 months. Because financially and vocally supporting people who do such a harm to others is just not something we want to be doing. But that's of course everyone's right to choose, and we each have that line of what we're willing to accept or not somewhere else.

Also to your point. Yes many famous people have done terrible things and yes we should absolutely talk about it. Many of them have been massive racists, antisemites, homophobes, misogynists, slave owners, abusers, pedophiles etc. We should look at their work through that lense, always. You're saying you'd go crazy if you had to check if every author isn't problematic. But the thing is when you do know what fucked up things someone has done/said it changes how you see their work. Leon by Luc Besson makes you uncomfortable when you realise he has actually married a teenager. My favourite author is not longer my favourite author after I read his very antisemitic essay. Are you gonna be reading Pygmalion the same way when you find out G.B. Shaw was a big supporter of eugenics? I can no longer watch one of my used-to-be-favourite films beyond by the light because I've read the report of the woman who was gang raped by the main actor. I'm not saying you have to check every single person if they've done something 'problematic' but once you do know about something it does changes how you view said work. I think we should approach all work as well as the creators of said work critically. Whether it's film, music, book or any kind of art. And I think we should always think about who do we support financially and vocally.

I've made a choice not to wear any of my HP merch that I bought when I was younger. I've made a choice to not go see any fantastic beasts, not to blog about anything HP related, simply not to give it/JKR any energy or money. And I've made that choice with plenty of other people doing an active harm to society. But like I said, everyone has their own opinion on this. Some people can separate the work from the author. But I can't. Especially when they're still alive. Because I know that they are still benefiting from it.

How hot is the character: Webb and Keegan Sherman 😏

| 😐Not My Type😐 | Alright | Cute | Adorable | Pretty | Gorgeous | LORD MERCY |

*dodges sharp objects and runs into hiding*

I know, I know!! 😫 Just hear me out on this one, OK? 

First of all, let me just make it clear that this was absolutely deliberate on the show’s part. The whole point of this character (characters?) is that they are physical perfection and should be so hot, they would set the scenery on fire wherever they pass, yet they are so fantastically creepy, the hotness is just lost and you are sitting there, laughing uncomfortably, going what the everloving fuck?? 😅

Also, let me make it clear, this is yet another role where we see just how absolutely talented Bradley is, he is just gifted when it comes to comedy (not that he doesn’t do the serious, dramatic roles perfectly too, as we all have Damien to attest to that). 

All the characters in this show are caricatures to a greater or lesser degree, the villains are all ridiculous and hilarious. The Sherman twins are so incredibly unlikeable in every possible way, but they are absolutely entertaining! At one point, Leah describes them as “these creepy twins” and it couldn’t be more accurate! When I say “not my type”, I mean, they are exactly what you would expect a cartoon villain in a cartoon to be like; they are obscenely rich, live in this bubble of privilege and self-indulgence and are completely devoid of all empathy and conscience. Of course, this is carefully tailored to provoke a certain level of disgust in the target audience, considering the sociopolitical climate we are currently living in and the outrageous, ever-growing gap between the rich and the poor. The Sherman twins are a cardboard cutout of the sociopathic billionaire we all reserve our unrestrained loathing for. 

Mind you, physically attractiveness aside, the moral failings of various kinds of villains have never stopped anyone from thirsting after them (Kylo Ren and the clown from It come to mind, but hey, I have a loooooong list of my own guilty sins so I’m really not judging). However, one thing this show is extremely good at is taking obviously hot people and situations that should be sexy by all established norms of modern media and making them as unsexy as they possibly can in the most obvious but understated ways.

The Sherman twins are such a great example of this. Let’s start with their introduction scenes; the fencing duel is such an obvious, tropey thirst trap! It’s written and designed in a way that should (stereotypically) hit all the right buttons. Like, Bradley, goddamn: 

But then they go and do *this*: 

Poof! All sexiness evaporated (and everyone who has watched this show will know exactly what I’m talking about 😂😂)!

Also, let’s talk about the incest. I was expecting the subtext (I’d seen all the stills and gifs, after all), but come on now, that is not subtext, it couldn’t be more obvious and there is not a single scene with the two of them together that does not rub it in! Mind you, sibling incest, especially twincest, also never stopped anyone from thirsting (yours truly here pleads the Fifth, not that her AO3 is any kind of evidence against her or anything 🙄🙄), but these two are just so goddamn creepy as individuals and as a pair. 

With all that said and the general understanding that the Sherman twins are the actual worst, Bradley James himself in this role is: 

| 🔥🔥LORD MERCY🔥🔥 |

I mean, this man is a Greek statue, OMG 😭 If he was born in the ancient times, I’m convinced he would be worshipped as a demigod or something: 

Honourable mention to these strategically placed flowers: 

And the infamous handjob scene: 

(When this happened, I howled, I can’t believe they actually went there! Anyway, yes, the resulting mental imagery was very much appreciated! 😂😂)

In conclusion: Bradley James is perfection, news at 11, but I am going to take this opportunity to warmly recommend this show to anyone who has not seen it because, sadly, it doesn’t look like it’s getting much traction and I was shocked by how vicious the reviews on IMDb were when this is, hands down, one of the best things I’ve watched recently. 

The show is just hilarious, almost the entire cast is amazing, I loved every second and binge-watched the first season without even noticing! There was not a dull moment for the whole six episodes! It was such a breath of fresh air in all the cliched, poorly written, depressing nonsenseI’ve been watching lately and the pointless violence and unapologetic misogyny masquerading as being ‘gritty’, ‘edgy’ and ‘realistic’. 

Don’t get me wrong, Bounty Hunters is both shockingly violent and incredibly filthy (seriously, I did not expect that amount of graphic, brutal death going in), but it works. I am also not a fan of comedy in general, humour very rarely clicks for me, but this had me sobbing! The characters are so vibrant, vivid and interesting (with the exception of Nina’s niece 😫 Seriously, who did that girl have dirt on to get hired, she can’t act to save her life and was, beyond a doubt, the worst part of the show and her scenes were the only ones to pull me out of the story, but they managed to do it every single time, she is that bad 😖)! 

The main villains were all delightfully unlikeable and evil (with the exception of the ISIS bunch, who had zero charisma or interesting points and were just kind of… there). The Sherman twins were terrible but hilarious, the cartel was one of my favourite things in the show, Barnaby’s father was just so sleazy but I think that particular actor could make me laugh at anything! Barnaby and Nina are the only actual ‘goodies’ in the show (their words 😂😂) but they are so flawed and ridiculous and not afraid to laugh at their own expense! I just loved them! (Also, their mothers were a piece of work, Barnaby’s mother in particular, that woman is gifted, I swear 😂😂)

And I am really digressing here, but I just have to talk about those reviews on IMDb because I personally found the worst of the complaints completely ridiculous and something I couldn’t disagree with more! They mostly seemed to have an issue with the unapologetic violence, but for me, that was a part of the charm and there is no rule that says that comedy should be kid and family-friendly. I thought this was sufficiently grim without going overboard into exploitative and gross, and in spite of the dark undertones, the overall theme of the show is family, loyalty and love. Also, the second thing that really stuck out to me is that some people really seem to have an issue with the lead actress being an older woman, some complete moron called her a grandma in a derogatory fashion and said that she cannot be ‘a badass woman’ because of it (or a romantic interest, I imagine). Personally, I loved the unusual age difference, where, for once, the woman gets to be the older, more experienced and the more badass one, and the man gets to be young, pretty and naive. They don’t actually get together in the first season (I don’t know about the second one, I haven’t gotten around to it yet), but I personally enjoyed their will-they-won’t they and all the banter (seriously, I have not actively shipped the two het m/f leads in a show in ages). Besides, Barnaby and Nina have crazy amounts of chemistry together and I could totally get behind the two of them having all the filthy, kinky sex they can physically manage! Not to mention, I find it so incredibly offensive that an older woman somehow can no longer be hot of badass (and Nina is so, so hot and badass) and it is depressing that in the year of our Lord 2020 we still have to deal with this sexist, ageist, misogynistic tripe. If the ages were reversed, I promise you, nobody would be complaining! /end rant

And since I’m already way, way off-topic (and the general topic is all about hot people, after all), I’d just like to gush about these two 🔥🔥 LORD MERCY 🔥🔥 individuals, because goddamn: 

This is Charity Wakefield, she plays Leah in the show (who is an absolute delight), and she is, IMO, one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen 😍

And this smouldering piece of perfection is Christian Ochoa:

And these two stupid hot people somehow manage to have the least sexy sex in the history of TV (multiple times!!) and make a demon baby together (I hope, but like I said, I haven’t season 2 yet) 😂 As I mentioned earlier, this show loves to mess with our expectations of perceived hotness and I found it so refreshing and hilarious! 😂😂

I fully admit that if it wasn’t for Bradley James, Bounty Hunters is something that I would never have picked up (I very much doubt it would have even crossed my radar because I really am not a fan of comedies in general), but I am very, very grateful that I did! I am looking forward to season 2 and I read that season 3 is also in the works (please, Bradley, come back for that one too and do some more nude scenes with strategically placed flowers, we are all begging)! 😜

[[MORE]]

i mean for gods sake in canon garrosh calls sylvanas a bitch and implies shes no different than the lich king but in my version she was killed by a misogynistic warlock, literally demonized after her death, and mourned in a Cringy but to my younger self quietly poignant scene by a version of garrosh that only truly comes into her femininity in remembrance and admiration for the woman who she feels alienated from in both nature and values but also spent so much time with, giving an honest ear to her cruel, world-taught views.

I mean for gods sake how did i write this. I accidentally wrote Garrosh as a nonbinary lesbian with a crush on a homophobic woman. Half of what i just detailed was a metaphor for things I would later go on to experience.

And i know this was some lesbian shit because it didnt end there. My version of garrosh was a physically imposing masculine lesbian, but she herself had an alternate version.

The alternate version was smaller, more normatively feminine, and drawn as an animal. In some branches of the story, she’s a reincarnation of the main lesbian garrosh, in a world where everyone else is reincarnated as a symbolic animal version of themselves, but in the main branch she never spoke, never interacted with anyone, and haunted Nagrand like a ghost.

Also let me talk about Nagrand. Fucking nagrand. When she got there is when the REAL feminist theory started. There were three main plot points.

1. it was revealed here that sylvanas lived on in a sort of afterlife. Not the empty blank void that Blizzard sent their favorite misogynist caricature to, to reflect the way they wrote her, but a dreamlike world that floated between the lines of the universe’s rulebook— surrounded by a perpetual rose-gold haze.

Sometimes it was a grassy floating island, with a single tree and a little pool of water, sometimes it was a modern driveway and a street and a park based on my own neighborhood, and then.

Sometimes they’d travel to the furthest edge of the afterlife, and there would be no great gate. Instead, there would be a silver strip, like a metal tightrope, and Sylvanas would walk her down it on their tiptoes, with only one of each woman’s arm extended for balance because the opposite hands were holding each other.

it was a dreamlike world, and until she gave up her life and met her there, she could only ever dream of it.

2. She did, eventually.

it was for garrosh. not my female version, because she had a different name that i would randomly change, but the male garrosh, the canonical garrosh, the garrosh who was meant to escape into the timeline she found herself accidentally in.

she saw him as a big brother, but at the same time, not. he was worse than her, and she knew that, but much like sylvanas it itched in the back of her brain that she could change him, that she could show him a new way like anduin tried to, that if this giving calm existed in her it surely rested dormant in garrosh.

because after all, like a nb lesbian and her favorite male character, she and garrosh were the same person.

garrosh was killed, and she sought revenge. wielding two axes— her own, and that of garrosh, she strode up to thrall and thrust her heart to the sky as she was struck down.

she went to the afterlife, and there sylvanas would sleep atop her chest, under the tree.

3. but before that…

you know how i joke about anduin being a lesbian??

i also used to have a virulent hatred for varian, from my version of anduin— another extended metaphor, this time for how neurodivergence affected my school life and my online life back in 7th grade.

and anduin snuck off.

almost every other day, he’d sneak off; sometimes to the animal world, where instead of being reincarnated he emerged from a dark, underground labyrinth in elwynn to a world that had never heard the words “prince of stormwind”— and unknowingly, he emerged transformed into a wild, half-maned feline.

sometimes to nyalotha, where he could rest, where he could recover, where in a single psychic scream he could eliminate the pull of duty and become not what he perhaps should have been, but what he was nonetheless happy to turn into.

sometimes back to veiled stair, sometimes he would burn the valley of four winds in his black-hole suspicions— he would drink too much of something shadowy purple— and he would sleep well knowing High Queen Proudmoore would understand that though destruction is a choice, one far easier than creation, sometimes the only real choice is whether to do something stupid or just stand by.

but this time, it was him and my version of garrosh. him, and her, and varian back in stormwind.

and he would ask her— why?

she would be silent, and keep bandaging his wounds from the local wildlife. they would heal eventually.

but he wasn’t the only insane, stupid one around. like a child younger than himself, sometimes she would leave their makeshift tent, and sit in the bushes, and sulk.

does it matter, one dream showed me her asking; my thinking, if it only lasts a moment?

he didn’t understand yet, but this wasn’t the branch where he ran from the same problem— a mix of his upbringing and the failures of his brain.

she would ask— “if i feel nothing for any longer than a few minutes,” in a tone i eventually thought betrayed who she was meant to represent— “how do i know that this momentary despair, this momentary rage even matters?”

“does it matter why, if i can do good only because i forget so often my evil nature?”

she would plead— smite her, burn a hole through her eyelid as was done to sylvanas, and remove what makes her this way. what makes her any way.

perhaps when she was redeemed, honorable by both orc and human standards, she would allow herself to die.

only one tear a night fell from my version of garrosh, and though they were both unstable, anduin learned from her. she was his mentor, his aunt, his idol, and his replacing parent.

when the si:7 found him, he was alone. he was scratching in his sleep at reddened pustules around old wolf-bite scars she had helped to close, and they took him back. as they do in every branch where he survives, by trap or by net or by silent cooperation.

through the fevers, he traveled back to stormwind. through the nausea, he embraced his father.

relishing the pain of red pox all over, pain body-wide that had never let itself exist without hellscream, he stabbed his father in varian’s own throne room.

this is how it must end with wrynn kings.

he didn’t know whether the guards slew him or arrested him. he saw only a thin strip of silver, splitting the evening sky, and knew soon he would be there with the woman he felt was truly worthy of being his family.

he experienced what she did. the weight on his heart, closing his throat as he tried to get people to see why he does what he does— why he sees the world the way he does, why it doesn’t mean he’s just a naive idealist waiting patiently for reality to beat it out of him. why it doesn’t make him stupid.

being haunted by himself. the dark face of the moon she was to him was small, and spindly, and though it was striped, unlike a lion, it wore a thick, soft mane from the top of its head down to its chest. he didn’t think the dead could laugh, but here he was— because what stalked him wherever he went was so much like her. big, and strong, and when he was alone daydreaming instead of performing for the crown, he imagined it free from the alliance.

dreaming of what could be. even with his own garrosh, he felt a familiarity that ate at him— how deep and warm his voice, how bright his eyes, how quick his temper— and how breakable he felt, from the moment his father woke every morning, to that moment in draenor where he saw another towering figure in solid stance, with hair long and tied, stare down at him and ask— who are you?

and with her, he could answer that.

i am what i am, he would tell her, the moment his soul untangled from his form, and there are no words in my language to describe me.

except for one, if his new mother would see fit— if orcish surnames could pass the grave he might feel around him were he able to move.

she had once called herself garrosh, because she thought she was him.

now, though it would take courage, as all things seemed to take when done her way— he would ask if he was a hellscream yet.

honorable to orcs and humans alike.

I'm Not Like Other Girls, I'm Worse.

“Cool Girl. Men always use that, don’t they? As their defining compliment. She’s a cool girl. Cool Girl is hot. Cool Girl is game. Cool Girl is fun. Cool Girl never gets angry at her man. She only smiles in a chagrin, loving manner, and then presents her mouth for fucking. She likes what he likes, so, evidently he’s a vinyl hipster who loves fetish manga. If he likes “Girls Gone Wild,” she’s a mall babe who talks football and endures buffalo wings at Hooters...”

Delivered with an almost pathological ease, Rosamund Pike’s monologue in Gone Girl has provided fodder for discourse surrounding both surface and latent sexism since its 2014 theatrical release. The film is steeped in misogyny -- coloring the characters’ actions; defining their social interactions, relationships, and identities. It’s an insidious theme that presents itself most notably through “Amazing” Amy Dunne, our sharp-bobbed, sociopathic antiheroine whose disappearance acts as the catalyst for the plot. 

“Nick loved a girl I was pretending to be.”

Amy is a self-professed “Cool Girl,” or rather, she was. She came to abhor the performance; resenting the act she had to put on for her husband. Although the diatribe quoted above lambasts this persona of male fantasy, Amy remains ensnared in the web of internalized misogyny. She loathes her adulterous husband, she loathes herself for becoming that which she detests, a woman scorned, but mostly, she loathes other women. Amy damns her own gender for carrying this charade of male devotion, believing herself to have reached a self-awareness apparently unfathomable to her female peers. Thus in eclipsing the “Cool Girl” moniker, Amy assumes a new persona -- one defined by the “I’m Not Like Other Girls” mentality. 

“God, I’m so sick of other women! All they do is talk about drama, makeup, and boys. Why can’t I find any girls like me, who love chicken nuggets and getting dirty? Ugh, this is why I only hang out with guys -- they’re the only ones who understand me!” This is the manifesto of the girl who’s … different. She prides herself on never wearing makeup (and looks down on women who do). She prefers the company of men, because her own gender is just too dramatic. She doesn’t wear mini skirts, heels, or concern herself with stereotypically frivolous or overtly feminine contrivances… because that’s for Other Girls! This “Other Girl” is, you guessed it, a caricature -- a nameless/faceless entity to which people can ascribe their misogynistic narratives. 

The plight of the modern woman exemplifies the ruinous effects of patriarchy -- a societal paradigm of male supremacy. In navigating this system, women are encouraged to despise the “Other Girl,” to avoid the “trappings” of femininity she emulates. We are meant to exist as monuments to the patriarch; condemning those who operate outside the realm of masculinity. This sexist ethos manifests as an internalisation of misogyny -- an insidious, socio-cultural phenomenon in which girls subconsciously project archaic ideals of sexism onto their own gender and even onto themselves. It’s inescapable, pervasive and, unfortunately, all women have fallen prey to its machinations. I, for one, would be remiss not to mention my own “I’m Not Like Other Girls” stage, as my 2014 Tumblr era was defined by a painfully exaggerated sense of self worth. I lauded myself for eschewing popular trends -- indulging only in the obscure and pretentious. I derided those who did not share my niche interests; judging girls who preferred The Last Song over Ruby Sparks; whose Taylor Swift was my Lorde. Looking back, I’ll readily admit that I was a pompous bitch. But can you blame me? Or the multitude of women who also underwent this embarrassing phase of “othering” ourselves? Since infancy, we’ve been inundated with rhetoric that dictates performances of femininity -- propaganda that was proliferated through television, classrooms, magazine covers, etcetera. Feminine pursuits were (and are) denigrated, and in renouncing girliness, our “reward” was male attention or approval. 

Unfortunately, a scant scroll through TikTok exemplifies how internalized misogyny is prevalent even throughout the younger generations. A trend recently overtook the app in which girls introduced themselves as why other women supposedly hated them. The “reasons” varied, but almost always dealt with being conventionally attractive, having multiple guy friends, or simply being confident. This is merely a repackaging of the “I’m Not Like Other Girls” mentality, where, now, girls believe themselves to be envied and resented by their “bitter” female peers. Unlearning this manifestation of misogyny is no easy feat -- it’s an active, conscious process requiring awareness, introspection, and a willingness to go against the grain of societal norms. A continued reflection on how we uphold and preserve these misogynistic, curated conceptions of womanhood is thusly paramount for eradicating patriarchy from society. I, for one, am elated to proclaim that I’m exactly like other girls, and I truly would not have it any other way.

Part of being an ally is forming your own opinions.

I've seen a lot of people get questions either in their inbox or in their curious cat messages about certain social/political issues and their answers will be "I'm not part of that community, so I can't say". For instance, a trans person will ask a question prefacing that they are trans, give their opinion, and then ask the other person for theirs, and the answer they will get back is "I'm not trans, so I can't say". 

The better way for allies to answer these kinds of questions would be to preface by saying: "I'm not trans (or part of the community in which is being asked about), so I have not had the same experiences.” Acknowledge the other person's views if they have stated them, then you can say "please correct me if I'm wrong" if you want to before giving your opinion, then “here's what I think/here's my take” and then give your opinion. You should give your opinion because that's what they are asking of you. 

If it's truly something you do not know enough about, you can say that you don't know enough about the issue, and you're not as educated as you would like to be, and state that you'll come back to it after educating yourself (if you plan on educating yourself on the issue, which, as an ally, you should) or just educate yourself first and then answer the question.

And if you're not going to respond in one of those two ways, you just shouldn't answer/post the question.

Saying “I'm not part of X community, so I can't answer that question/I don't get a say” takes the pressure off of you (the ally) and puts it back on the community who already has the pressure on them. 

Saying “I'm not part of the community, so I don't get a say” feels like an excuse to not get involved in said issues; i.e. not calling out people who are being transphobic/ homophobic, etc. or actively choosing to not educate yourself or spread awareness because you're not part of the community and it's not your problem. It feels like you're saying “I'm not part of this community, this person's community/issues make me uncomfortable, so I'm going to stay out of it."

If a trans person is asking a cis person a question on trans issues, they want to know the cis person's opinion. They want to know a wider range of opinions on these issues. They are trans and can provide a trans opinion to the discussion, but they're not cis and cannot provide a cis opinion, so when they ask a cis person for their opinion, they expect an answer. 

When someone asks for your opinion it's because they want to know your opinion. This is obviously not the same thing as trans people talking about trans issues with other trans people and then a cis person interjects with their unsolicited, unprovoked cis opinion. 

Sometimes not answering comes across as "I don't want to be a part of your problems, I'm going to stay out of it" and it seems like you don't care enough about these communities and these issues to get involved. 

It sounds like you're saying "that's your problem, figure it out yourself" and it doesn't feel like I have your support. It feels like you're trying to get away from helping/supporting me. 

If I ask a question and then nobody answers, I'm left just as confused as I was before I asked. Nobody helped me, and I wanted help. 

Sometimes it feels like the question is being brushed off as if it’s not even important. But I’m sure it’s important to the person who’s asking the question. 

Sometimes it feels like someone asks "should trans people have equal rights" then get in response, "sorry I'm not trans, so I don't get a say". Like, no, you do get a say. Hopefully your answer is yes, trans people should have equal rights, and as an ally, it probably is. When you vote, you are giving your opinion on other communities' issues, so people do expect you to answer their questions about their communities' issues when you are asked. 

Obviously white people shouldn't be telling poc what is and isn't racist (example below**), and men shouldn't be telling women what is and is not misogynistic (example below*) and cishet people shouldn't be telling queer people what is and is not homophobic or transphobic, but if someone from a certain community asks someone who has defined themself as an ally a question about a certain issue they are facing, they do not want to get an answer of "I'm not part of that community, so I can't say". It just isn't helpful.

-----------------------------

* For example (men shouldn't be telling women what is and is not misogynistic) 

During the Olympics, I was with a group of people. One was a man, the rest of the group were women. The man brought up trans women competing in women's sports and how it was unfair to women, it was misogynistic, it was an attack on women, and women need to stand up and speak out against it. Almost every woman in the group said that it isn't misogynistic, that trans women are actually at a disadvantage to cis women because their estrogen levels are higher than cis women, and that trans women have every right to compete in women's sports. The man doubled down, saying that men and women are born with different bodies and that men have the athletic advantage (which isn't even true). To which the women continued to try to explain to him that the only real advantage men have athletically comes from hormone differences, which after taking HRT and meeting athletic requirements, the advantage is already long gone and there is no issue with trans women competing in women's sports. Again the women reiterated that trans women competing in women's sports is not misogynistic and not an attack on women and there is nothing for women to speak out against, as we all thought it was a good thing that there were trans athletes competing at the Olympic level. Of course the man (who is ironically the most misogynistic person I have ever met) played the victim and said how hurt he was that we told him that his attempts at feminism were actually far more misogynistic than what he had tried to pass off as misogynistic.  

This was an example of a man trying to tell women what is and is not misogynistic and actually trying to compel women to fight back against a real win for women. This was also an unprovoked comment, no woman had asked him his opinion on feminism, trans women, or women's sports. He was trying to push his views and use feminism as an excuse to be openly transphobic. In this case, he was speaking over the actual group whose issues were in question, and not listening to them when they told him he was not being helpful.

** For example (white people shouldn't be telling poc what is and isn't racist)

One time, the same man from the above example, was having a conversation with some of his friends about the Redskins changing their name to the Washington Football Team. He said how the Redskins logo had been the image of a real person, not just a generalized caricature, and he said (condescendingly) “Well I think that’s racist” to remove the image of a real person. The issue was not whether the Washington logo was drawn in a mocking/racist way, or if it depicted a real person or a fictional person, the issue was that the Washington team was using a person’s race/ethnicity/culture as a mascot/costume, and using a derogatory term for their team name. As this man is not part of that race/ethnicity/culture/heritage, he cannot decide what is and is not racist to them. He can’t say something is racist when that group is saying it isn't. He cannot say something that that group is saying is racist isn't just because he likes football and doesn't want his team name/mascot to change. In this case, again, he was speaking over the actual group whose issues were in question.

Obviously, these two examples are not the kind of giving your input that I had previously described.

------------------------------------

Overall, the point is that part of being an ally is educating yourself on issues that the community you are an ally to is facing, and forming your own opinions so that you can contribute to discussions when you are called upon to do so. As an ally you often have a louder voice or bigger platform to spread awareness /take a stand than the people who are part of the community that you are an ally to. Often when people of a certain community are asking for your opinion,  they are asking for your help to spread awareness of their communities' issues and be a loud voice and platform to help them. Refusing to contribute to discussions when called upon to do so is to turn your back on your role as an ally. Yes, allies should first and foremost uplift the voices of people who are part of the community and help put the attention on people who are trying to share their own experiences, but allies also need to be educated and be ready to contribute to said discussions when they are asked for their input.

Being an ally is an active role, not a passive one. It's an action, not a title. 

i really thought that because poe is  light skinned and arguably white passing (not really tho), rian wouldn’t do him dirty. I spent all these times worrying over finn’s storyline and characterization, and what happened? not only did rian fucked up finn’s story ANYWAYS, he also fucked up on everything else i expected him to succeed on. Like, i never actually trusted that white gremlin and i never genuinely believe that he took finnpoe seriously but all the tlj promotion talk about a mother-son relationship b/w poe and leia, about how rian is going to flesh out poe more as a character truly made me believe that rian actually cares about poe. The leaked visual dictionary made me think rian did a decent job at writing poe and that he consulted canon materials that included poe. But oh my god i was so goddamn foolish!!! rian fucked up rey’s story, out of all people’s! Let alone Poe! who was just a racist caricature--something that i didn’t wanna admit till now! 

like, rose is also light skinned, but because she’s kinda jammed into the story when the main trio of the previous films havent been properly introduced to each other, i kinda expect rian to do her dirty. Yeah, sure, rian supposedly fought for kelly to portray rose, but considering how small her role seems to be from the get-go, I didn’t expect much. There were too many characters on the side of resistance and somebody’s gonna be underdeveloped! Of course that turns out to be rose. I know they try to hype up Rose’s role in tlj but i know she’s not gonna be treated as an actual lead. As an asian fan, i got very low expectation about rose and was just glad she’s gonna be on screen at all. A chubby asian woman with more than five lines in a sw movie is already ground breaking enough for me. But i expected rey to have a story of her own where we get to know more about her as a person and a jedi; I expected rian to develop poe’s existing characterization and gives him layers of complexity that we haven’t seen from poe’s comic series, cause i thought rian cared about light skinned or white characters! But no! he just cared about k/ylo r/en!!! 

im so goddamn tired right now and im so behind on writing my grad school MRP proposal cause i cant focus on what i needed to do, and honestly all i want is an explanation at this point. Is rian gonna talk abt what he thought he’s gonna achieve with all these characters in his movie? like what the fuck was his plan? why does he want ppl to think poe as some god-awful misogynist/chauvinist??? what’s his goddamn damage? 

Do you think that Cersei in the books is a misogynistic caricature? On the one hand, obviously an evil woman isn't a commentary on all women. On the other, I don't think it was necessary for her to also have been written as so unintelligent.

Hmm, tough question.

When I started reading A Feast For Crows back in July 2005, what I wanted from a Cersei POV was some sense of personhood beneath the villain I’d been watching for three books. And, to a limited extent, I got it - as soon as the valonquar prophecy was revealed, Cersei’s hatred of Tyrion crystallized into something with clear internal logic.

We already knew that Cersei’s misogyny was moulded by her father. This is a woman who lost her mother when she was seven, who spent c. 3 years (beginning when she was 12, presumably ending shortly before the tourney of Harrenhal when she was 15) in a court ruled by a complete psychopath who regularly preyed on his queen’s ladies-in-waiting. (Possibly this is why Cersei did not join Queen Rhaella’s household, as would have been traditional.) We did find out that Cersei’s father had promised her she would be queen of the Seven Kingdoms when he intended her to marry Rhaegar Targaryen, and we get the utterly heartbreaking image of bb!Cersei drawing pictures of herself and Rhaegar riding on a dragon.

We also got confirmation of a certain element of her relationship with Jaime--that, when they were little, they were practically interchangeable, but that as soon as they hit puberty, not only were they separated, Cersei was actively forbidden from doing what Jaime did. From two inseparable, identical children, suddenly she became lesser, not through anything she’d done, but through a physical fact entirely beyond her control. There are no ways for women to truly gain power in a world ruled by Tywin Lannister (with one exception, who is dead), so Cersei is forced to rely on the oldest stereotype in the book: seducing men into doing her bidding.

We learn from her narration - and, hell, from her Uncle Kevan’s narration in the epilogue to A Dance with Dragons (sidenote: How creepy is that?) - that men were regarding Cersei as a sexual object as early as the age of twelve. If I thought GRRM was making a commentary on how disgusting it is to sexualize children, I’d give him the benefit of the doubt, but it’s just another in a long string of girls - not women, girls - being sexualized throughout ASOIAF. Cersei encourages it because it gives her power, and by the time she seduces Jaime into joining the Kingsguard, it’s something she is comfortable doing.

When we encounter her in AFFC, she’s already concerned that she’s losing her sexual allure, and thus the source of whatever power she has. Again, if I thought GRRM was doing this on purpose, the way he subverts tropes about beauty when he’s writing about Brienne or, to a lesser extent, Sansa, I’d be fine with it, but with Cersei, it just falls flat somehow. Especially when Tyrion and Jaime are so vividly drawn, and how we watch them evolve as characters through their POVs.

With Cersei, we get very little such evolution. She begins evil and ends...still evil. Cowed, perhaps, for a time. Certainly not defeated.

I love Cersei because of what I read into her, not necessarily what we’re given in the text.

Coming out for the third time?

Hey, for anyone whose been following me for a long while you might now I started ID’ing as a trans man back in like 2016(?) time, well I think I have been wrong about that, or at least circumstances have changed for me. For anyone interested, a short essay is below where I try and unpack my feelings.

A little while before the new year, I began to feel insecure in my identity as a trans man. Many months ago, I had finally admitted to myself that I was, in fact, attracted to women. However, for the last two months I have been struggling with something… I don’t know if I’m trans anymore. I haven’t identified as a woman since I was around 17 years old, over 5 years I have been secure in the fact that I was not cis and yet… I fear things have changed.

Around 3 years ago I discarded femininity and embraced the masculinity that I had ran from in my early teens, returning gleefully to the menswear isle and building up a fine repertoire of earth tone jumpers, coats and black skinny jeans with pockets I can hit a fist into and know I’ll fit by the numbers on the label. Two binders I wear daily top my look off, and I feel so happy in them. When I was 13, I felt like an ugly little girl who dressed like a boy, and so I made myself pretty. I wore Alice bands with bows on them, cut my long lank hair into a pretty bob to look like Holly – the transsexual computer from Red Dwarf, a show that was my life at the time– and began wearing dresses, skirts, fruity perfume and even nail varnish. I never touched makeup though, my autism and sensitive skin made that impossible, perhaps the only hallmark of femininity I didn’t touch.

As I began to finally feel beautiful, my hatred of women and femininity began to fade. In my youth, I was a terrible misogynist. The resentment I held against women for femininity and the abuse the face, alongside South Park, family guy, and a myriad of trash media, told me that women were sluts who deserved to be raped because their skirts were too short. I even screamed at my older sister one day, tears in my eyes, that she was a whore for wearing so much makeup and pulling her little skirt up just below her 15-year-old butt. I look back at the person I was then, and I’m filled with so much regret. I hated women for the way men treated them and I had internalised that so deeply that I desperately wanted to show the world how wrong it was for women to be feminine, because of course that had to be the problem. I was a tomboy, masculinity was best, and I just didn’t understand why women let men treat them the way that they did.

But then high school happened, and I spent two years being that thuggish tomboy with the long lank hair…. and I was miserable. I was bullied by feminine girls for being ugly, for being fat, for looking like a man. One day in the lunch queue a lunch lady called me young man, and it filled me with a queasy fluttering inside. I was insulted and I was… pleased? That strange feeling was quickly cast aside yet would always return to haunt me. Instead, I focused in on the pain. I began to cast aside my tomboy ways, and this just happened to coincide with my slow decent into the internet.

I don’t know how his channel came to me, but Mr. Repzion taught me what feminism was. It was basic, and from a man’s point of view, but he was pushing back against women who used feminism as an excuse to abuse men, which was the only form of feminism I was aware of and despised it. Despite being a man, Mr. Repzion explained to me the basic principles of feminism and wouldn’t tolerate abuse being hidden under progress. He explained compassion, respect and the issues women faced. Mr. Repzion helped me love women, love femininity and love feminism. Gone was my strange, warped love-hate relationship of being a woman. I. Loved. Women.

Soon I outgrew the kindly and damaged man that is Mr. Repzion, and I found myself swept up in the feminism of Tumblr which in turn led me into the realm of LGBTQ issues.

My home had always been a positive space for LGBTQ people and issues. My father is a punk, and my mother a grunge girl, they embraced different people wholeheartedly. My childhood was littered with queer media. Priscilla Queen of the Desert on loop in the DVD player. Queer Eye for a Straight Guy, the original series, and at only 5 years old I would beg my parents to let me stay up and watch with the. Project runway with the loud flamboyant gay men, the punk lesbians and the sweet Tim Gunn humming passive aggressively at piles of cloth. Then when I was about 13, I was introduced to the work of David Sedaris.

To this day I adore Sedaris’ work, the man is a genius and so unapologetically gay in his writing. He helped to broaden my mind even further into the realm beyond cishet just by telling stories from his youth. I plunged my hands deep into that deep rainbow coloured water, hoping to find a reason for why I too, like young David, felt so out of place in this world.

I have a distinct memory from an art class in first year. I was looking around at all my classmates and I realised just how beautiful I thought all my fellow females were and just how little I felt for my male classmates. For a moment I wandered…. ‘Am I a lesbian’. That thought stuck with me for some time. Never moving beyond that one thought though, and eventually it slipped away.

Perhaps, the reason I found so much security in being a gay trans man for so long was because it was gay men who I looked up to in my formative years, while the only lesbians I could see where Patty Bouvier and various caricatures of aggressive dykes I might have seen myself in – as well as having ‘bull-dyke’ flung at me by my sister on a regular basis. I’m still trying to pick this apart, but it may be one of the many reasons I faked my way to eventually feeling attraction to people.

I pretended for a while to find men attractive, and I never truly thought women were attractive either. When I was around 16, I found two terms that fitted me quite well at that time. Asexual and Nonbinary. These were the labels that steeped me headfirst into the rainbow pool of LGBT (as I called it exclusively then before finding a home in Queer). These labels fitted me well, the last festering resentment I held towards women faded, because if I wasn’t a woman then I didn’t have to resent womanhood anymore.

The first of these labels to shift was nonbinary. I was watching a film called ‘Predestination’ with my parents, and it ‘cracked my egg’ as some say. I had always been intrigued by transsexual people, some nagging thought in my brain drew me to their stories, yet it was this odd little film based on a short story written 50 years ago that made me consider, ‘what if I’m trans?’. I watched the film again and again. A deep envy brewing inside as I watched Jane transform into John on the screen before my eyes. I saw the confusion I felt towards my body in Janes character, and I saw the twisted relief she found in being a man. I wanted that relief too. A few days before my 18th birthday, I had concluded I was trans.

I have been friends with a trans man since I was 12, a friend from camp I briefly knew by a different name and set of pronouns. He explained the situation as best he could to the confused crowed of summertime friends two years later. I found out too that anther friend from camp had an older brother who was trans and in my first-year volunteering at the camp all those years later, I met a trans woman. She was kind and bubbly, and we would laugh when she made me jump by switching to her deep masculine voice. I was enthralled in her long boho skirts and black shoulder length hair. Even our Muslim co-worker would take off her hijab around her. She didn’t pass that well, but she was accepted and respected. She was the first person I almost breached my feelings of dysphoria to; I think she noticed, and she explained how to go about transitioning when I asked. However, I never followed her advice. I’m glad I didn’t… I’m glad I never came out beyond the protection of the internet. Two summers ago, a camper who I had known since he was a first timer opened up to me and told me he was trans. I helped him changed over his name into the boys list and found a space for him in a boy’s tent. I see myself in him, and now I worry for him like I worry for myself.

Today, two months before my 22nd birthday, I feel just as confused as I did when I was 15. I know I’m not asexual and I fully accept that my sex is female, yet I still feel so out of place with ‘woman’. It’s a biological fact that I am a woman, but the label feels clunky and ill fitting. Symbols of the woman that I bare, my breasts and my uterus, feel like they don’t belong. I don’t want them; I won’t ever use them. I will not birth a child or feed it with my breasts. I want to remove these pieces of flesh; I want to remove them to feel whole… That’s a whole suitcase of worms I’m trying to unpack.

I told my doctor that I feel this way, that I struggle with this dysphoria but that I didn’t think transition was right for me. She was pleased that I was open minded to other solutions, she’s helping me get onto the waiting list of Sandyford Initiative. An institution specialising in all sex-based issues. It’s a 2-year waiting list but… I suppose it’s better than never to get some help.

For now, I know one thing for sure. I really like adult human females and adult human males. What am I? I don’t know yet.

Alexis Ohanian Responds to 'Blatantly Racist & Misogynistic' Cartoon of Wife Serena Williams

Serena Williams‘ husband is standing by her side after an Australian newspaper published a cartoon many critics have called racist. Alexis Ohanian, 35, tweeted about the cartoon on Thursday, questioning why Damon Johnston — the editor of Australia’s Herald Sun — was being praised by Male Champions of Change, an Australian organization with the goal of empowering “powerful men to step up beside women to create a more gender equal world.” “I am truly perplexed to learn this editor of the Australian newspaper behind the blatantly racist & misogynistic cartoon of my wife is a ‘Male Champion of Change’ ,” Ohanian wrote on Twitter, linking to Johnston’s listing on the organization’s website. “Is this supposed to be satire, too?” the Reddit co-founder, who married Williams in November 2017, asked the website’s female founder, Elizabeth Broderick. RELATED: Serena Williams Loses at U.S. Open, Lashes Out at Umpire Over Cheating Penalty: ‘You’re a Thief’ The Herald Sun of Melbourne, Australia came under fire for their cartoon, which was published Monday. The illustration, drawn by cartoonist Mark Knight, depicted the 36-year-old tennis star at Saturday’s U.S. Open women’s singles final as an exaggerated caricature of Williams stomping on her tennis racket with a pacifier near her feet. It was meant to depict the moment Williams got into a verbal altercation with chair umpire Carlos Ramos, whom she called a “thief” before losing to Japan’s 20-year-old Naomi Osaka. But because of how Williams was drawn, critics and activists made comparisons to the stereotypes seen in anti-black political cartoons from the Jim Crow-era of America. Initially, Knight asserted his drawing wasn’t about gender or race and, to back himself up, tweeted his cartoon of male Australian player Nick Kyrgios, which he’s since deleted. It showed a male official bending over to speak to a defiant Kyrgios, who is then dragged by the ear by a female official in the next frame. Knight titled the panel, “What should have happened.” RELATED: Billie Jean King Says Serena Williams Is Treated Differently Than Male Athletes as WTA Backs Her On Tuesday, Knight further continued his defense in an article published on the Herald Sun‘s website, saying, “I drew this cartoon Sunday night after seeing the U.S. Open final, and seeing the world’s best tennis player have a tantrum and thought that was interesting. … The cartoon about Serena is about her poor behavior on the day, not about race. The world has just gone crazy.” Johnston also defended the cartoon, saying, “A champion tennis player had a mega tantrum on the world stage, and Mark’s cartoon depicted that. It had nothing to do with gender or race. This was about a bad sport being mocked.” RELATED: J.K. Rowling and More Slam Cartoonist for ‘Racist’ Drawing of Serena Williams at the U.S. Open Williams has yet to address the cartoon itself, but many on social media were quick to raise serious and critical questions about Knight’s cartoon. In the background of Knight’s cartoon, an umpire is seen asking Williams’ opponent to let the athlete win. It isn’t clear whether the drawing of the white and blonde player is meant to represent Osaka, who is the daughter of a Haitian father and a Japanese mother. “Well done on reducing one of the greatest sportswomen alive to racist and sexist tropes,” Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling tweeted, “and turning a second great sportswoman into a faceless prop.” ESPN commentator Jemele Hill called the drawing “about as subtle as Fran Drescher’s voice.” RELATED: U.S. Open Champ Naomi Osaka Couldn’t Tell If Crowd Was Booing at Her: ‘I Felt a Little Bit Sad’ Following her controversial loss, Williams was fined $17,000 from her $1.85 million prize money for three violations: $10,000 for verbally abusing the umpire, $4,000 for receiving a warning about coaching; and $3,000 for breaking a racket. Other figures have defended Williams since, notably two tennis greats: Billie Jean King and Novak Djokovic, the 2018 men’s singles U.S. Open champion. “Women are treated differently in most arenas of life,” wrote King in the Washington Post on Sunday. “This is especially true for women of color. And what played out on the court yesterday happens far too often. It happens in sports, in the office and in public service. Ultimately, a woman was penalized for standing up for herself. A woman faced down sexism, and the match went on.” And after his win on Sunday, Djokovic told reporters, “I have my personal opinion that maybe the chair umpire should not have pushed Serena to the limit, especially in a Grand Slam final… He did change the course of the match. It was, in my opinion, maybe unnecessary. We all go through our emotions, especially when you’re fighting for a Grand Slam trophy.” http://bit.ly/2p6DsAE

Whitewashing in the cartwreck that is the Eragon movie, and how it reflects the racist origins from the book series

The Eragon book series is apart of a genre of readers who grew up reading the fantastical stories of Tolken, with different white races and an oddly ahistorical medieval theme. Eragon is somewhere in the middle of High Fantasy and the grizzly dirt of Gritty Fantasy. But, this isn’t about placing Eragon into a genre. This is about how there were not a lot of people of color to begin with in the books and the movie completely disregarded every single character making the movie more aryan. What the casting director did not realize is that casting a movie more blonde doesn’t make the horrific writing seem any better. Here are some questions I have: Why is Arya white? Why does the leader of the varden die so more quickly in the movie? Why is his daughter given no air time even though she is supposed to become the new democratic ruler of Alagaesia, the name of their world, in the last book? And why does ajihad have jihad in his name? In the book and movie why are the black people from unexplained Wandering Tribes from the desert that no one ever encounters except for when they are being used? Eragon travels all over the land and does not come in contact with any “Wandering Tribes.” The tribes’ king tries to cheat Nasuada out of leading the varden and getting gold. He does this in a ritual called The Trial of the Long Knives, where rulers see who can slash their arms more times showing who can endure more pain for their people. A violent tradition which casts their traditions as primitive and savage. They are nomads who originally inspect Saphira’s egg for Eragon, which in the movie doesn’t happen because none of the merchants in the caravan are people of color “Fully into racial caricature by casting a seemingly random variety of colored people...if Westeros has it’s race problems they are simply a powerful reflection of America’s”(Young 71). This ambiguous group of people, like disney’s pocahontas, have a blend of features of black and brown people. For example in one novel description two men in the book are described to have broad shoulders and almond shaped eyes. Whereas Nasuada has long inky-smooth hair and is eroticised in many types of ripped dresses. She then in the last book is captured by the evil King Galbatorix and proceeds to be tortured for “many moons.”

Paolini, being a white 19 year old cisgendered male when first writing the series was influenced heavily by the culture around him, of course. In addition to the fact that he was homeschooled. “What else have I done today besides playing Skyrim?... Well, I started writing again.” - a direct quote from Paolini’s twitter account. The other is truly created in the morally ambiguous enemies called the urgals in the series that for the first two books are the magically enslaved enemy pillaging villages and creating a monstrous army. They are dark haired, tall, humanoids with two large horns atop their head. The Urgals life is based off of violence, and mates are obtained through prowess in battle. Eragon has to overcome his ignorance and resentment of this race and eventually adds them into the people able to become dragon riders in hopes of better equity and understanding in Alageasia. Nasuada, being discriminated against for her skin color, more easily forgives the urgals for killing her father and wants to use their prowess in battle to help the rebellion win the war. None of this is shown in the movie, mind you. Nasuada constantly has to prove herself based on the fact she is a woman of color. When she is first being voted to replace her father as the leader of the Varden, many of her advisors try to play her like a puppet, but in the end she plays dumb then outsmarts them.

Eragon comes from Carvahal, the original settlement where King Palancar, a white human cis-guy dubbed himself king when he first colonized a new land. So the town is extremely white and has a lot of misogynist and classist biases built up. That is just the tip of the iceberg for the created other in this series. The indigenous group to Alageasia are the dragons, which until the fourth book are believed to be driven extinct by the Elves, Dwarves, Humans, and Urgals colonizing and wreaking havoc upon the land. “Medievalism can be understood as a desire for a past-race society redirected to the past so that the Middle Ages are imagined as a pre-race eutopia” (Young 81). Slavery is alive and well in Eragon, and so is racism.  

The Razac, believed to be the ultimate evil due to their love for human flesh, are the king’s minions. They torture their victims and live in black caves in absolute darkness. They hate the light, they have black bodies that seem deformed under cloaks. And speak in incomprehensible tongues that involve clicking and screeching. Their religious followers self mutilate and give slaves as sacrificial offerings to feed/appease their demented gods.  “Those beings that are closer to the light are considered more heroic, more self-sacrificing, more sympathetic. Those individuals farthest from the light are morally and spiritually corrupt in Tolkien's moral landscape” (869 Rearick). This describes exactly how racism is deemed palatable in relation to the Ra’zac. In both the film and the book they are shown as shadowy figures wearing all black cloaks with glowing eyes and non-able seeming figures. “The Ra’zac are beetle-like creatures with grey-black skin.” Which equates the other to blackness and blackness to pure evil.

Paolini has good intentions when trying to tackle race, but they fall short in reality. “Whiteness secures its dominance by pretending not to be anything in particular, that is by being the norm” (Young 81). He does this through racial coding of different groups of white people and then blackening all others including Eragon’s first enemy who is called a Shade.

giuliano de medici?

Obligatory disclaimer here, anon, I’m really not a fan of this show and Giuliano de Medici. I think it’s a terribly written show and he’s a terribly written character, and even though it’s no secret I find Bradley James to be one of the most beautiful people alive, I’m going to go with 

Not My Type | Alright | Cute | Adorable | 🤗Pretty🤗 | Gorgeous | LORD MERCY

Mind you, when I say ‘pretty’, I mean so goddamn beautiful I was willing to wade through THREE seasons of utterly infuriating bullshit just for him! (OK, two, because I still haven’t summoned the willpower to sit through season 3 even though I absolutely still plan on doing it 😭😭) I mean, just look at this man’s eyes: 

He’s so gorgeous, I could weep 😭

Also, I’m not going to pretend even for a second that the fact that the costumes gave off such strong Arthur vibes didn’t have anything to do with me sitting through this nonsense and almost enjoying it. When he said ‘I don’t have time for this,’ in this very scene, I got hit over the head with so much deja vu, because it is Arhur’s line, and it was totally Arthur’s delivery! His battle scenes gave me life, but why were they so short? Why was there not more? Why does everything about this shitty show have to be so goddamn unsatisfying? Did the Medici producers not see Merlin season 5? Did they not see what this man can do? Such a wasted opportunity, oh my fucking God! 

Anyway, rant incoming: 

Mind you, I don’t blame Bradley for the unsatisfactory mess Giuliano turned out to be, he did the best he could with the nothing he was given. Only Lorenzo got some semi-decent writing (and even this was not consistent), but Giuliano got such nonsense story arcs, I was sitting there not believing my eyes and ears! I’ve seen gutter trash soap operas with more believable cliche romance! Hell, I’ve seen twelve-year-old girls write better self-insert fanfiction! Even cartoons have better villains than that caricature of a husband, I was laughing out loud at what they were trying to get us to swallow! I mean that line, “It’s not the mask that attracts me, it’s what lies beneath it,” OMG, YOU’VE SEEN HER TWICE IN YOUR LIFE AND SPOKEN THREE WORDS TO HER, JUST SHUT UP!! 😣😫😭

It never gets better, unfortunately, and they wasted the character on this laughable romance instead of doing just about anything else with Giuliano! More of his relationship with Lorenzo, with Bianca, with Lucrezia, or even with Francesco! Hell, I would have even taken Sandro (even though the guy playing him can’t act to save his life and the character is beyond annoying)! Or, I don’t know, and this is just a radical idea here, they could have made Simonetta less two-dimensional and given us an actually believable romantic sub-plot with properly developed characters!

Oh, Gwen, how I missed you! I was forced to eat my words on each and every criticism I ever made about how poorly Arwen was written on Merlin, because it was perfect, perfect writing in comparison! So good, it could be taught in a literature master class! Oh my God, just how do you take two such beautiful people like Bradley and Matilda, put them together and end up with something so infuriatingly nonsensical, forgettable and bland? Colin Morgan has spoiled me and I confess that there was a moment in all my frustration where I had an ugly thought that Bradley James just has no chemistry with women on screen at all, but that’s not really true, because even at it’s worst, Arwen was never this bad and there was never a time when he and Angel actually made me roll my eyes at some of the worst pieces of dialogue I’ve ever heard. Then, of course, there was his performance with Barbara Hershey in Damien, which was on a whole another level of intense, so I have to conclude that the reason Giuliano and Simonetta and that whole ridiculous subplot were so terrible is because the writers could not write for shit. 

Also, as much as I love Bradley, I feel like he was tragically miscast in this role. I just didn’t buy him as Daniel’s younger brother at all. Not only is Bradley older IRL, he has the older brother vibes as well. It’s in his voice, his posture. Better writing for Giuliano notwithstanding, I feel like this show could have been vastly improved if Bradley and Daniel had switched roles. Again, did none of these people see Merlin? Did they not see how iconic Arthur was and what Bradley can do? Because, damn, that man has presence when you give him the proper material to work with, and they took advantage of none of it! I like Daniel, I really do, but even though he was given the best material on this show, he just didn’t fully deliver and I have yet to see him in anything where I am impressed by his performance and not just sitting there for his pretty face.

And since this has devolved into a looooooooong post that no longer has anything to do with the hotness of Giuliano de Medici, let me just mention him: 

Who is this guy and how do I get more of him, because, OMG!  😍🔥🔥🔥😍

He has the most fascinating face I’ve seen in a while, and the way he moves and carries himself is mesmerising! He deserved better-written villainy than what he was given! This show truly did not deserve its cast! Francesco Pazzi was so terribly written, it’s laughable, and yet, here was this guy, stealing the show left and right, in spite of the shit material he was given to work with! Somebody please cast him in something more worthy (preferably in English, or at the very least with English subtitles so that I can watch)! 😭😭

The thing that infuriates me about this series is that they had some fantastic actors here that totally deserved better, such a fascinating period to work with and some of the most interesting figures in history and they spent all their time and money on making them as cliche, two-dimensional, cartoonish and bland as possible.  

Also, I can’t end this post without mentioning how much I loved Sarah Parish as Lucrezia! The woman is perfect, OMG! 😍 The wives, in general, were too good for their husbands in both the seasons I watched so far. The mistresses can go choke, though, and I hated how much they tried to white-wash adultery all over the place. In addition to the poor writing, this show sent out some really gross messages and did nothing to call out all the misogynistic tripe. 

I must exclude Simonetta from my mistress-hate because she died a horrible death, and frankly, other than that, there was not much there for me to perceive her as a real character anyway. I wanted to like her so much because I saw the gifs on Tumblr before actually watching the show, but the writers gave me absolutely nothing to work with and in the end, all I was left with was that she died all alone and with no help or comfort, sick, cold and thirsty, which is one of my big personal fears. The fact that the writers did this to her for no logical reason but to play up Sandro’s and Giuliano’s selfish man-pain - after I really did not buy either of them actually loving her - was just an additional disgusting layer on this poorly written story arc. She deserved better. 

In conclusion, if it wasn’t for Bradley James being pretty, I would have quit this rubbish halfway through season 1 (if anyone is interested in reading just how much I hated it, you can find all my bile here). Season 2 was just as bad, but Bradley, Daniel and Matteo made intolerable characters bearable, which was something Richard Madden was unable to pull off. Of course, all my pure love goes to Contessina, Lucrezia and Clarice, because they were the only characters that I genuinely enjoyed in this mess and didn’t just put up with because I liked the people playing them.