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infernumequinomin · 2 months

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"Kipperlily hates Riz because she's got a crush on him," this, "Kipperlily hates Riz because he somehow snubbed her," that... First of all, this boy imprinted instantly in a bully throwing him in a trash can thinking they could be friends, Riz wouldn't just forget someone he met in any sort of positive or negative way for zero reason. If they met, even if she didn't make a huge impression, Riz was SO desperate for companionship in Freshman year I don't think he'd have forgotten or ignored her.

I think a lot of people are forgetting the complexity of Riz's story as a poor kid who is of a "monster race" going to somewhere like Augefort through sheer working really fucking hard on the part of both him and his mom, and that they have explicitly in canon faced adversity both for their financial class and race. One of Riz's driving forces to do really well this year is so he can even GO to college. Sklonda EXPLICITLY lost her pension from YEARS of sleepless nights working as a detective and working her way up through the ranks this year (and I don't think it's something to overlook that Kipperlily's mom works as a county clerk and may have had some say there). I think Kipperlily may just be a graden variety privileged bigot who thinks some "gutter scum goblin shouldn't be in classes with normal people." And that a lot of her work with Jawbone has probably been unpacking these internalized biases.

Like, from the outside, the Bad Kids were ressurected by the principal the very first day of school, throwing the whole school into chaos and got DETENTION for it. Riz not only killed, but ATE the vice principal, after they defeated Kalvaxis! They were all on the verge of failing if they didn't complete their Sophmore year spring break project (it was 70% of their grade or some insane shit!), and while most of them may still have passed, Fig and Kristen DEFINITELY needed that credit and that is mentioned in the season, Adaine is insanely stressed about them completing their quest for "school credit".

If Kipperlily grew up rich and entitled, with all the biases about poor people that can grow (especially if her dad's real estate office owns Strong Arm Apts and she thinks of it as a slum, because it's kind of described as low income public housing lbr here) and saw that some lower class goblin was EATING PEOPLE after defeating them (you know, like a monster does, clearly not taking any time to understand his motivation OR culture), and getting preffered treatment because the principal just happened to LIKE HIM and his party (because they took the time to become closer to him over the years and Augefort clearly values students who will absolutely kick his teeth in bc adventurers are "insane violent psychopaths" citation: the Seven), and breezing through his classes without doing ANY of the work (because she doesn't SEE the work or the sleepless nights or all the stress he's taking on for others) it absolutely tracks for her to grow this huge chip on her shoulder about it and for it to reinforce these biases she may have already had about goblins and esp abt POOR goblins like Riz.

I don't think Riz did anything wrong. I think Kipperlily just has shit to fucking work thru in regards to how she views the kinds of people she doesn't know or has had no opportunity to associate with. Even among her party, they're all rich to middle class for the ones we know the class of. She's 17 and has a bunch of internalized biases, likely from her upper middle class upbringing, and major anger management issues. Idk it just makes sense to me. I met all kinds of girls like her in college who were type A to all shit who resented me for seeming to "have it easy" despite how hard my life should have been coming from a poorer background than them.

#fantasy high junior year #fhjy #theories #fantasy racism #riz gukgak #kipperlilly copperkettle

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umnitsa · 10 months

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You should mess with Jim

Summary: You just moved and found out your neighbor is your favorite porn actor.

A/N: I can't stop thinking of this and I won't stop myself anymore. We may have an overload of pornstar!hopper fics, with different readers and, hell, this is my personal self-indulgent paradise. The Big Jim name was totally inspired by @hopsgirl (thanks, by the way! <3).

I am terrible with names, you should forgive me.

Pairing: retiredpornstar!Hopper x fem!Reader

CW: Mentions of sex and descriptions. Reader is naughty.

You huffed, looking at the kitchen. Most things were in place, and the move was finally over. It took a few days of intense concentration and take-out food, but it was finally over.

You set the coffee machine and decided to be useful and take the trash out.

The first rays of the sun were visible, and the day was just cold enough to be comfortable, even with your nipples pebbled against your tshirt. The trash bags were annoying, but there was this underlying sensation of accomplishing something that made you feel good.

You disposed of the trash bags and took a deep breath. This was the beginning of something in your life. Something good, clean, and better. Healthier.

Less computer, less video games, less porn. More sunlight. Enough feeling like a cave goblin after an earth-shattering orgasm brought by your latest toy and some dirty fanfic. Enough nights watching whole careers in porn with a hand between your legs.

You felt good.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw some movement; good, neighbors! You turned, a smile on your face, to be greeted with the sexiest image you had ever seen in your life.

He was tall, immensely tall, his shoulders wide. His dirty blonde hair, thinning at the front. The strong chin, covered in overgrown facial hair, long, but just long enough for you to know it is just an unkempt mustache.

He was wearing low-hung blue pajama pants and a light robe, no shirt. No underwear.

You knew every detail of his body, down to the veins on his long, thick cock.

That was Big Jim.

One of your favorite porn actors.

How many times have you watched him manhandle women just like you, keeping them open for the camera, as he ruined them forever, with that monster he called a cock?

You stared, as he turned. He watched you there, frozen, watching him. With a chuckle, he lowered his head a bit, raising his eyebrows amusedly.

You waved, awkwardly, and he waved back. His blue eyes twinkled with mischief as he moved back to his house. One big hand slid down his belly, to absentmindedly caress his cock, as he slowly walked.

How many times have you imagined yourself suckling on the head, swallowing the abundant precome he pulses when he’s aroused?

You quickly went back to the house, not wanting to think of it anymore. Ok, your neighbor was Big Jim, but that didn’t mean anything. You were not going to be the creepy weird neighbor for him. You respected his work.

Oh, god, you respected his work.

You poured yourself some coffee, thinking about how you need to look less stupid the next time you see each other.

***

Jim chuckled, resting against the closed door. It had been a while since he was recognized.

He scratched his cheek, then squeezed his cock.

The kind of people who recognized him these days was always interesting. He wasn’t completely retired, he always picked something if he liked the idea, but he was prolific in his time.

And it was sweet, even when it was weird. The small thrill and the reactions when they understood from where exactly they knew him.

A shy smile from an older lady in a restaurant, a weird high-five from a middle-aged man in a convenience store, the soccer mom unashamedly slipping him her number in the supermarket.

It was always a moment of doubt followed by some thought. Until the right image surfaced, and the realization flashed in people’s eyes. It was a process, and sometimes it happened fast.

But never as fast as you.

You recognized him immediately, your eyes widening. That kind of look, startled and amazed, he only gets from connoisseurs and fans. People usually felt a bit ashamed once the realization hit, but you stood there, awkwardly aroused under the morning sun.

You looked like a little pervert who could provide a ton of fun. And the hunger, so clear in your eyes, made him half hard. He even had to give himself a little squeeze, so he could at least reach the house without tenting his pants. You could help him with his boredom.

Well, he could be a good neighbor and bake you some cookies.

#maycore #mayb writes #hopper smut #jim hopper #jim hopper x reader #jim hopper x fem!reader #pornstar!jimhopper

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ramblers-lets-get-ramblin · 9 months

Note

Congratulations!!! 🤩🫶💖 What a cool celebration. If you're still taking these, hopefully I'm asking right. . .

dark

Tommy miller

you asked for it

blackout

Toxic I LOVE YOU!!!! Great ask! Sorry that I used the first paragraph as kind of a soapbox for a real issue we are having here in Texas!

BLACKOUT

Word Count: 1617 (brevity continues to elude me)

DARK CONTENT AHEAD. DUBCON. PLEASE DO NOT READ IF THIS IS TROUBLING TO YOU AS ALWAYS MY ENTIRE BLOG IS 18+. MDNI

DDDNE. PLEASE DO NOT EAT IF YOU DO NOT LIKE DEAD DOVES

Warnings: Dubious consent, implied voyeurism, public masturbation (kinda), female masturbation, fingering, choking, unprotected PIV, creampie

Immersability: reader is able-bodied

“Fucking ERCOT!” You curse. It’s late August. Austin is in its seventh week straight of temps over 100. The agency responsible for maintaining the Texas power grid has been sending out texts for weeks asking people to conserve energy. Their suggestion? Keeping your air conditioner set at 80. What are we, fucking lizards? Enjoy your terrarium. The same agency that was so ill-prepared despite many, many warnings, for the winter storm a few years ago that the power grid failure was the direct cause of many of the 246 storm-related deaths. Texas “energy independence” has already killed people and now ERCOT is doing rolling blackouts all across the state. More will die due to their incompetence before summer is over.

It’s eleven p.m. and still ninety degrees outside. The only relief to be had is in the above ground pool in your backyard. The water is still warm from late Texas afternoon sun but it's better than nothing. You don’t even bother with a swimsuit, you just strip down on your patio and run to the pool and climb the ladder, bare assed, and dive in. You aren’t worried about anyone catching you. You have a privacy fence and this neighborhood is pretty quiet. All the soccer moms and their crotch goblins have settled in for the night. The only house that might be a problem is the Miller house. Their second story looks right into your backyard. If anyone is home, they might be able to sneak a peek. Not that you’d mind either of the Miller brothers throwing a glance your way. It should be illegal for two dudes to be that hot and live in the same fucking house.

Once the thought enters your head, the brain rot starts. All you can think about is the Miller brothers. Joel, who mows the lawn without a shirt on. He doesn’t seem to notice all the Stepford Wives with their sudden need to check the mail or pull the trash cans in from the street at the exact time that he’s mowing. Joel’s younger brother Tommy has more of a pretty boy vibe but good looks run in their DNA. You think about the way Joel’s arms bulge under his tight t-shirts when he’s hauling tools out of his truck. Or the way Tommy’s smile could bring you to your knees. You trail a finger down your chest and your nipples pebble in response. You take a quick look around, just in case, and continue lower. You aren’t in any rush so you take your time teasing yourself with your fingers. Maybe an orgasm will help you get some fucking sleep in your stifling house. You slowly work two fingers into your core, already slick with arousal. You pump them in and out, remembering how thick Tommy’s fingers were when he fixed that loose cabinet door for you. A small moan escapes you when you remember how he told you to “Call anytime, darlin’” when you said you owed him one. Fuck this, you think. You have a perfectly respectable collection of silicone dicks in your room. You’re confident one of them will complete the fantasy you’ve worked up in your head. Maybe even two of them. Just as you are about to climb down the ladder, the houses on the street all light up at once.

“Fuck! Great timing ERCOT.” It's then that you realize you never grabbed a towel, and your clothes are all the way across the yard. You sprint across the grass and rip the sliding door open, thankful that you hadn’t bothered turning on the porch light. The blackout had already started when you arrived home from work so none of the lights in the house are on. You run through the house and your bedroom to the attached bathroom. You grab a towel from the towel rack and begin squeezing the water out of your hair. You throw the towel over your head and shake as you walk back into your bedroom to get some clothes. When you remove the towel from your head the first thing you notice is the the door is closed over now. You hadn’t remembered even touching the knob when you came in. You hold the towel in front of your body and creep over to the door. You stick your head out and peek around. You don’t hear or see anything out of the ordinary. Just in case, you lock the door when you shut it. Breathing a sigh of relief you turn around and slam into a wall of muscle. “What the fuck?!” You scream and drop your towel. A hand comes through the darkness to clamp over your mouth. “Hey! Hey! I’m sorry! It’s just me.” A familiar voice calls. “Tommy? What the fuck, man? You scared the shit outta me!” You exclaim and swat at his arm. Relieved that you aren’t about to be serial killed, you suddenly remember your state of undress. You squat to grab your towel from the floor and come face to face with a bulge in Tommy’s jeans. A bulge that’s all too easy to see now that your eyes have adjusted to the darkness. “I was just coming over here to check on you and you closed the door before I had a chance to say anything.” You nod your head in response and wrap the towel around you. “Well, as you can see, I’m fine. You can go now.” You turn to unlock the door and feel Tommy’s breath hot on your neck. “‘Fraid I can’t do that darlin’.” He says as his hand catches your wrist. He spins you around and yanks your towel off, discarding it on the floor. “You still owe me one, remember?”

“What the fu-“ you start but are cut off by his hand once again covering your mouth. He shakes his head. “You asked for this. Swimmin’ around naked in the pool. Fuckin’ yourself on your fingers like some little slut. Bet you were comin’ in here to finish the job, weren’t you?” When you don’t respond his grip on your face tightens. “Answer me!” He growls. You nod your head meekly. “And what were you thinkin’ about while you were stuffin’ those fingers in that pretty little pussy?” His fingers around your mouth loosen for you to answer. You’re afraid of what might happen if you don’t so you quietly squeak out, “You.” He inhales through his nose and trails his finger down your chest, exactly the same path that you had followed earlier. He had been watching you the whole time. “You think those little fingers filled you up better than I could?” You shake your head. “Well let’s find out.” He slams you back against your bedroom door and lifts your thigh over his hip. “Do I need to cover your mouth again, darlin’?” He asks, his tone mockingly gentle. You shake your head again as his fingers, two of them, breach your entrance. His other hand begins unzipping his jeans and it's only then that you notice his belt was already unbuckled. He pumps his fingers in and out of you lazily, matching your pace in the pool. He shoves his jeans down to his knees and hikes your leg higher as he pumps his cock. He yanks his fingers out and runs the thick head of himself up and down your soaking slit. “You practically drippin’ for me, baby. Do you want me to fill you up?”

“Yes.” You reply breathless. At first you were just going along because you were scared, but now, there is a hint of truth in your answer. You do want him to fill you up. You had just been thinking about it not 10 minutes ago. About how his big hand might feel wrapped around your throat. You grab his hand and move it there and his eyes widen in surprise. “Fuckin’ knew you were a dirty little slut.” He presses his lips to yours and shoves his tongue into your mouth as he rams his cock into your dipping pussy, filling you to the hilt. You let out a strangled moan into his mouth and his hand tightens around your throat. A fresh wave of slick leaks out around him, coating the thick curls at his base. “You’re so fuckin’ tight baby, I don’t think I’m gonna last long.” He groans into your ear. He begins thrusting into you at a punishing pace, never loosening his grip on your throat. Just as your vision begins to darken his thrusts start to falter. “I can feel you baby, squeezin’ the fuck outta me. Go ahead, let go. Come all over me.” His wish is your pussy’s command. As soon as the words are out of his mouth your orgasm punches through your body. The velvet fist of your cunt squeezes Tommy’s own from him and you feel him pulse again and again until it’s dripping out of you around his cock and then pulse some more. He finally lets go of your throat and you breathe in gulping breaths. He rests his forehead against yours as he catches his own breath. Once he’s come down from his release he pushes off of the door and pulls his jeans up, not bothering to button or zip them. He throws the door open and steps through, not caring if he hits you with it. You stand there, mouth agape, trying to process everything that had occurred, watching his retreating form. “There’s another blackout scheduled for tomorrow. Maybe we can take a dip together.” He tosses over his shoulder as he walks throught he still open sliding glass door.

Help me celebrate 500 followers!

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fabrizqueersubtext · 7 months

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Who could care about me?

For SJ! Thank you-- your donation will be sent to the Palestinian Social Fund.

Prompt: the bad kids, mordred manor, group hangout

You mentioned not being pressed for details, so I moved it to Riz's office between S1 and S2. I hope you don't mind!

You can read all of the collection here: https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Kofi4ACause Request a fic at Kofi4ACause: https://ko-fi.com/omgpourquoi

TW: Disassociation/Derealization but his friends show up to help!

---

Riz Gukgak isn’t one to rest on a case. He’s not even sure what that means, actually. He’s staring at his case board, red string blurring together to the point he wonders if he should start again with a new color. Maybe a gray?

He’s been locking himself in his new office as much as his mom will let him get away with and drinking coffee as fast as he can make it. Once he had gotten his murder board through the door, the Nightmare Crown theft consumed him fully; even when he was away from the board, he was thinking about it. It was easier to just stay here with the board. The thing is that he's close. He’s so close— he must be. It’s been a little over a month since the Nightmare Crown went missing from Principal Aguefort's office during the fight. He’s still trying to connect its theft to the last case. To Kalvaxus. To the Seven. To the Abernants. To Aguefort. There’s something he’s missing, though, there must be something else—

His thought is interrupted by a loud banging on the door. In a second, he's up from the desk, goblin ears pinning back to his head with a hiss, gun pointed towards the door. There's another banging.

“The Ball, open the door,” comes the muffed voice of Fabian Aramais Seacaster from the other side. Riz realizes the banging must be Fabian's version of a knock.

Riz takes a breath, trying to regulate his racing heart. He slowly replaces his gun in its holster. Apparently, though, he's not moving fast enough for his friends, because he hears an impatient sigh that can only belong to Fig.

“Move over, I’ll just kick it down,” he hears Fig offer.

It’s enough to get him moving towards them. He likes his door as it is, without Fig's bootprints on the front.

"I'm coming, don't break your foot or my door," he says as he drags himself away from his desk to unlock the door. It flies open to reveal his friends. And not just Fabian and Fig but Gorgug, Kristen, and Adaine as well. They’re dressed like it's warm outside and vaguely he remembers that it is summer.

The stand there and look at him blankly for a moment, before Fabian break the silence. "Oh, uh— we brought Chinese food?”

Just before Gorgug asks, "Are you okay?"

Both of them are outshined by Kristen though who, at the same time, raises her arms and yells, “This is an intervention!"

"Um," Riz doesn't know what to say. He settles on an answer to all three, "Okay."

They push past and pile into his small office without invitation. Suddenly, Riz feels tired. His legs are aching and his face feels sweaty and his head hurts. Gorgug pushes his old pizza boxes into the trash so that he can sit in the chair they’d been occupying. Kristen pulls the blinds and opens the window, letting in a light breeze. Vaguely, he wonders what time it is. He’s startled to realize he hasn’t had that thought for days.

"Hi, Riz. We're here for lunch," Adaine says, as she reaches forward to places a hand on his shoulder. Lunch. Huh, so it must be around noon. He feels the familiar rush of her magic, like summer rain and the faint smell of a library. His clothes unrumple, his face ungreases, his hair feels clean and he feels more present than he has in weeks.

"The Ball, we got you chow mein," Fabian says, pulling out boxes and placing them wherever he can find a spot on the desk.

Fig leans over and pushes some of the files and post-its off the desk and to the floor. Before he can protest, Kristen plops down into his desk chair and grins at him.

"It really is a nice office," she says, spinning in his desk chair.

Beside him, Gorgug lifts up a plastic bag.

"I bought a Cola, but, uh, we thought you should drink water. So-," Gorgug says, shoving a water bottle into his hand.

"Oh. Okay," Riz says, taking a sip. Someone hands him his food, he takes a bite and his stomach growls. Huh, when did he get hungry?

He looks at his friends, who've come into his office, interrupting his investigative brooding and taken up all his space. They're infuriating and chaotic and loud and overwhelming and here. They’re here.

Riz feels like he’s coming back from the dead. They sit in various part of the office, eating Chinese food and bickering about how much coffee is actually too much coffee. Riz just listens. He eats. He drinks. It feels like he's settling back into his skin. Into himself. Eventually, as always, they turn back to the case.

"Okay, what'd we got?" Fig asks as she kicks at his board. It rattles from the force, shaking all of his string. The vibrating strings look a lot like his brain feels, shaky and uncertain. Although, he is starting to feel better. More like their Riz, the Riz he is actually starting to like to be, instead of a hyper-fixated goblin in his room all alone.

"You know, I think we need a new perspective. New string," Adaine says. She reaches in her jacket, which is currently tied around her waist, and pulls out a fresh ball of string. It's gray.

With a sudden clarity, Riz realizes that his friends are, each in their own ways, caring for him. Riz Gukgak isn't used to being cared for. He's usually the one doing the caring. Sometimes he thinks he cares so much that it'll kill him. Sometimes he hopes it does.

But his friends are here. They're here and they care. They think he is worth caring for.

Thinking about it, he gets a little choked up and has to drink more water to cover it up. Then he actually does choke. Fabian moves to his side and pats his back a little too hard.

"Breathe, the Ball. Dying from drinking water would be a stupid way to die," he says.

"Yeah, you have to die in a cool way," Kristen chimes in.

He lets out about little cough and air returns to him. He turns back to his friends and they look at him expectedly. Right.

"Here's where we are-" he starts.

#dimension 20 #the bad kids #my writing #riz gukgak #kristen applebees #fig faeth #fabian seacaster #gorgug thistlespring #kofi4acause #tw: dissociating

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daydreamersparasie · 2 years

Text

Smile Full of Bloody Teeth (Casanova x GN! Reader)

Warnings: Religious themes, bloodplay, there is one (1) puncture wound, breeding kink, praise kink, drinking blood, body worship.

MINORS DNI NSFW

Notes:

I really did open a doc an pass out only to come too with this✌️ ✌️ ✌️ Cult au where Casanovas mom is dead/left or smth, and he takes over gaining a very faithful follower (: YOU

It’s just self-indulgent smut idk what else you guys would want me to say.

My contribution to the fandom. I’ve only known about Casanova for one night but I love him. Honestly HOW COULD YOU NOT?????? The creator is super funny, has pretty interesting writer, learning more about his past is THRILLING. Makes me want to put him under a microscope and study him tbh. Casanova himself is a pure gem, and by gem i mean trash goblin, but that’s how I like them.

There was a time before they didn’t believe in a God. God was something of a hoax, for the masses to use as a scapegoat, hypocrites who wish to be free of sin. Over and over again they wished to be something holy, to become angels instead of the broken beings they were. They didn’t understand it, how one could give their everything to a being they couldn’t see. Until, they found him. There was something about his sermons, the bastardization of God’s that they knew, false profits upon a cross, bleeding for sins all for what? Bleed for one's simple human nature itself; when one should accept it with open arms? Embrace their wants, the instincts they were forced to hide away from the world above.

They had cried before his feet, begging for something they couldn’t dare know. Wanting everything, wanting anything that he could give them. Tears of guilt, tears of want, tears of elation, so many ways they cried out for him over the months.

“God, fuck-” they moan, toes curling, their parted legs trembling within his hold. His fingers sinking into the flesh of their thigh, his cool rings singing shivers down their spine. With a wet slurp, he lifts his head from their body, his tongue flicking out over his bottom lip. The light that shines through the stained glass window paints him in a kaleidoscope of color.

“Mi cariño,” he purrs against their thigh, his hair brushing against their skin as soft as cherry blossom petals. “Say my name.” To the ears of many, it would be a soft spoken thing, but behind that voice was steel, that cheeky smile telling them that he’d stop just to get them to beg.

“Casanova,” they cry out his name, feeling a hum of approval against their skin. There is something holy about his name, the way it rolls hotly off their tongue, and makes them practically sing for him. Body laid out upon the altar, they made their sacrifice, had begged for his mercy, the only one who could give it to them.

“Good, Good, Mi Vida, just like that,” he breathes in a reverence they know they don’t deserve.

They feel the familiar cold chill of metal against their skin, causing goosebumps to rise upon their flesh. They suck a sharp breath in through their clenched teeth, eyes wide, staring at the knife within his hand. It seemed to have appeared there in between blinks, silk robe hiding away the one thing many fear. This was their sacrifice, this is what they wanted to do, for him, for faith, for love- that didn’t mean the feeling of deep fear didn’t grip their heart. It was instinctual, the chill that goes through their body, not knowing where the knife will go, what it will take.

What will their God take from them, besides their very body? He already had their soul, after all…

He moved forward in between their legs, his robe seemed to flutter around him as he did. The red silk slowly slips from his shoulder, causing their frantic eyes to follow, their heart beat thundering within their chest. As it falls they are blessed with the sight of his bare chest, scars, and much, much more.

He seems giddy, high on elation, face flushed, his fingers trailing from their knee then to their thigh. With a look like that, they wanted to be his everything, his slaughter house, his killing floor and for his arms to be their final resting place. So struck by devotion, they barely heard his heated whisper against their ear.

“Take a deep breath mi corderito…”

They didn’t have time to feel dread well up within their gut, the bite of the knife ripping into their skin, sinking into their shoulder. A yell of agony overtakes them, tears trailing down their flushed cheeks as their body struggles against his. Instincts from long nights past coming to the forefront, when they used to be prey that was hunted. The knife keeps them pinned to the altar, his arms cadging them in as they wail underneath him. His violent actions are followed by soft caresses, his warm mouth leaving a trail of kisses against their heaving chest and praise- so, so much praise it makes them dizzy. Calling them so many things, pretty, ethereal, good, just for him, all for him.

“You’re so good, such a good boy for me,” he murmurs moving his hips enough that they could feel him pressing up against their entrance. He holds down their leg with his hands, rubbing himself against them making a spark of pleasure jolt through them. It doesn’t erase the constant throbbing from their wound, the jolt making a hiss of pain follow straight after. The sight of the knife from their peripheral vision starkly reminding them of the unpleasant, constant white hot burn within their skin. Their sudden movement only makes more blood trickle down their bare chest, painting their skin red. They almost miss the soft bite, and sting of his braces against their skin, the long cuts due to him moving far too quickly. Seemingly reading their mind, his warm tongue traces the trail of blood, braces grazing their nipple.

“So fucking ready look at you, so wet and all just for me…” He presses his forehead against their chest, breathing them in, tongue swiping over their salty skin.

“Please-” they gasp out, unable to take this teasing anymore, wanting him inside them, needing his breath within their lungs. He rocks his hips forward, his cock sinking into them easily, with less pain then the knife did as a guttural groan escaped him, only cut off by the wet sound of his mouth against their wound. He eagerly sucks up the blood, his tongue swirling against their skin practically drinking them down.

His patience seems to have run thin, thrusting in hard enough to jostle them a soft, “fuck.” escaping their lips breathless as he mercilessly fucks them. Their free arm wraps around him, fingers digging into his shoulder blade, leaving claw marks behind as he moans loudly.

“You’re mine,” he growls against their ear, nipping the shell of it. “I’m your first, and last. Do you understand? You’re always gonna be mine, forever and ever.”

They nod dumbly, lips parted in a silent, ‘O’ of pleasure not sure if they are screaming or whispering yes, yes yes- god YES they’re his, they’re his. Their body burns with him, from being absolutely filled, wide eyes staring up into his face to find him smiling down at them. His teeth are pink, their blood staining his mouth, his heterochromic eyes filled with, dare they say love, and equal parts lust. With each roll of his hips the room fills with the smack of flesh against flesh, their body trembling underneath him.

“I’m going to knock you up, fill you so full of me, breed you stupid, you’d like that wouldn’t you?”

Their breathing grows heavier, their body slack against him, dizzy from his words. Or, maybe it’s the blood loss? All they can do is whine, head lulling in a pathetic nod as they weakly rock into his thrusts feeling a familiar coil in their gut.

“Fuck, you take me so well, look at you, begging to be filled. All mine, all mine, you’re never gonna to leave me.” Casanova’s thrust grow erratic, thrusting into them relentlessly, making them see white as they came. He kept moving, the sting of the knife and over stimulation making them let out a heaving sob, back arching not sure if they wanted to get away or beg for more to be used fully by him.

“Shh, it’s okay, you’re so good, so pretty in red, just gotta fuck it into you, to make sure it gets nice, and deep inside of ya.” His hips stuttered, teeth sinking into their flesh, sucking and licking up their blood as he goes over the edge. He rolls his hips, forcing himself as close to them as possible to get himself deep inside them. They could feel his hot cum filling them up, making their eyes roll back into their head, feeling as if he’s touched every part of them, heart, mind, body and soul.

They where his.

#cannibal sweetheart #casanova valentine #demon rambles #hm less of a ramble and more of a writing uhhh #demon writes #yeahhh #can you tell I have religious trauma #LMAO #under the covers™️#18+

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i-got-the-feels · 2 years

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10 characters

Tagged by @ahdriking sorry this took so much time, i kept on forgetting it.

1) Pat Napat - Bad Buddy

A walkikg green flag really. A human who doesn't let his past mistakes or his family's define him and works hard on himself. He made me understand what the term comfort character meant.

2) Baek Yijin - Twenty Five Twenty One

Know how they say, that once God starts giving, they give in abundance?

Yep to meet him and Pat Napat so closely? When I needed comfort? Yep. He is kind, hard working, genuine, respectful and just over all a lovely gem of a person and deserved a happier ending.

3) Kinn Theerapanyakul - KinnPorsche

He is my TO comfort character. Know that if world ia against kinn, the world is wrong. He is such a well written character and mile did great justice in bringing all the layers of kinn to life kn screen.

4) Rahul from Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham

Resposible. Takes accountability of his actions. Understands the meaning of respect and commitment. A MAN.

5) Vincenzo from Vincenzo

Mafia consiligere who decides to put a pause on his revenge plans to help the opressed fuck the people in power and supporting a bamf lawyer whom he may have a crush on avenge her father's murder. Gets scared by make up. Is friends with pigeon. Picky abiut food. Says cool one liners. Fights without breaking a sweat but almost looses a lung when lifting bricks. Drinks espressos in really tiny cups. No like they really tiny. Has soft fluffy hair. Cries for his mom and with his mom. Forgives her. Forgives himself.

6) Kashaf Murtuza

Opposed her father's regressive values- father who abandoned her, her sisters and mother btw, to become a government officer. Sloely learns to open her heart and find the joys of romantic love and marriage

7) Grim Reaper from Goblin

THE GRIEF. THE ANGER. THE GUILT. GHE RAGE. THE HATE. THE LOVE.

8) Penelope Featherington - the book series, we don't talk about series Penelope until its to trash the shitty writing

Book Penelope never wrote an article with malignant intention. She never made fun of anyone in a vindictive manner.

9) Tony Stark - mcu

He did so much to change himself, undo his mistakes, take care of others. He just doesn't get the appreciation he deserves and tbh was taken for granted by his buddies.

9) Bucky Barnes - mcu

I feel so much for him. He is still overcoming what happened, repenting his actions as winter soldier - even when he didn't have control on them. His kindnesses, his empathy, his genuineness. Him.

I can't choose between them okay?

10) Arnav Singh Raizada - Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon

This a glimpse into my teenage days. Apparently i haven't changed all that much. I still like characters with a rough shell and soft inside. Dude saw his parents die due to his dad's cheating, had his relatives betray hik for property-developed a hard shell and lost faith in love only believing in money. Worked hard to make money and looked down on others-yep very mills and boons but khushi (the fl) actually had a backbone so a level above mills and boons.

I tag @snimeat @ommited-miscellaneously @morathicain @liyazaki @natahjikio @surajmukhis @boysbeloving @omarandjohnny @milkpansa @mrdumpling @talays-portkey and @thisnightsrevels who wants to do this.

#tag game #bad buddy #kinnporsche #twenty five twenty one #vincenzo #goblin #kabhi khushi kabhie gham #zindagi gulzar hai #iss pyaar ko kya naam doon #mcu

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emeritus-fuckers · 5 months

Note

For the Ministry Role Event:

1. Would you say you're more likely to be a Sibling of Sin or a Ghoul? Why?

I think I am more likely to be a Ghoul than a Sibling of Sin. I love music and am very interested in taking vocal lessons, learning how to play the drums, and learning how to play bass. The aesthetic of the Ghouls has always interested me. The masks are gorgeous, and I love the idea of having different appearances or abilities based on your “element.” On the other hand, being a Sibling of Sin and participating in rituals / ministry magic sounds cool.

2. Which Papa would you prefer to work with? Why? (Sister Imperator is included)

This is a tough one. Papa Emeritus III is my favorite, he seems funny, flirty and a little eccentric without being too overwhelming. On the other hand, Papa Emeritus IV is very friendly and kind of awkward, like me! Between the two of them I would most likely work with III. I would not like to work with Imperator.

3. Are you an introvert, ambivert or an extrovert? Tell us a bit more about it.

I consider myself an ambivert. I like hanging out with my friends, whether it’s irl or online. I also like having my alone time, and enjoy chilling in my room with my cats. I’ve noticed that sometimes hanging out refills my energy, and sometimes being around people drains it a lot.

4. What chore do you like the most/hate the least?

My favorite chore is probably picking up the trash. It’s one of the easiest things to do, although sometimes you find some nasty stuff. After you pick it up you just throw it out, unlike doing the dishes where you gotta clean it and your hands feel blegh. My least favorite chore is cleaning the litterbox. It doesn’t take long, but it stinks and it makes me feel gross.

5. Do you like to travel, or maybe you prefer to stay at home?

If I had the funds, I would travel so much! There are so many cool things to see in this world, but traveling takes time and money. I have time but not money lol. I do like staying at home, but that’s mainly so I can play games and be with my cats.

6. Freebie. You've got five sentences to tell us anything you want about you.

I am a very quiet person at first, but when you actually get to know me I am kinda chaotic! Somehow I always end up being the Mom friend of the group, even though I am a tiny feral goblin. I have ADHD, anxiety, depression, and some undiagnosed disorder causing chronic pain. My first Ghost song was Square Hammer, and Papa III was the first Papa I ever knew, but I became a Ghost fan during Papa IV’s era. I would love to work in the film industry, especially if I got to work with practical SFX.

This post is part of the 1000 followers Role in ministry event. Entries for the event are now closed.

Your role in the ministry is…Special effects manager for Ghost

You work for Papa Emeritus III and then for Papa Emeritus IV.

You do special effects for both the stage shows and music videos. So you have stuff to work on both tour and at the Ministry.

You have a really nice room at the Ministry, Terzo made sure there was also room for your cats there.

You get to travel all over the world and get paid at the same time! If you ever want to work in film inidustry then either Copia or Terzo would happily write you a glowing reference. You also get to help with all the music videos and chapter vidoes. Copia often says "maybe soon you can help with a concert film sì?"

The Ghouls ask for you to get a mask too, Terzo agrees, he knows you've always wanted one and there is a chance the crowd could see you. He gives it to you wrapped up with a purple ribbon around it.

You have your own space on tour where you can hang out, if Swiss sees you missing your cats he'll curl up next to you and purr when you stroke his head. Swiss and the rest of the Ghouls love hanging out with you, you are one of the pack.

Swiss has also declared you an apprentice Ghoul. He enjoys your chaotic energy and your enthusiasm for learning different instruments. So Swiss teaches you stuff about vocals and Mountain also sees you as an apprentice so is teaching you drums. The two of them are very proud of your progress.

Written by Nyx

#ministry role event #whats my role in the ministry event #role event #the-real-eggplany #Papa emeritus iv #papa emeritus iv x reader #papa ememritus iii #papa emeritus iii x reader #copia #terzo

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unknown-jewel · 2 years

Note

Julie, Texas, and Hunter for your character ask meme :)

Julie:

Favorite thing about them

Her unwavering loyalty to the Burners and to Motorcity. It's not easy to go against the wishes of someone you love, even when you know they're in the wrong, but she does so every day, without a second thought. Because she knows it's the right thing to do. I love that. <3

Least favorite thing about them

I do get a little bit frustrated at her for not telling her friends who she really is. On the one hand, I get why she's cautious, but on the other hand, come on, they're your friends and you should trust them! Also, the longer you put off telling someone something important the worse it'll be when they do find out, so...

Favorite line

"I can't just sit back and let my father... Y'know if I don't try to help Motorcity then I'm no better than him."

BROTP

Her and Claire! I love their friendship so much!

OTP

You already know it's Jukebox! They're my everything! :')

NOTP

Texie. Listen, I like Texas, but in the bluntest possible terms, Julie deserves better.

Random headcanon

She's a great singer, and knows how to play a lot of different instruments. You can thank @snowbatmakesstuff for the latter half of that headcanon.

Unpopular opinion

Can't think of anything, honestly.

Song I associate with them

"Dead Mom" from the Beetlejuice musical.

Favorite picture of them

Texas:

Favorite thing about them

He's super funny!

Least favorite thing about them

That being said, he does toe the line between being obnoxious in a funny way and being obnoxious in an obnoxious way a little too often for my liking.

Favorite line

"You gotta stop thinking about what you didn't do and start thinking about what you're doing to save people now."

BROTP

Him and Mike. Their combined chaotic dumbass energy is off the charts. XD

OTP

Texas x Junior. They have messy, chaotic, on again, off again relationship energy and I'm here for it.

NOTP

See Julie's NOTP entry above.

Random headcanon

I like to think him giving Jacob the food truck in "Blonde Thunder" wasn't an isolated incident. I think whenever he goes out if he finds something interesting that he thinks one of the other Burners will like he'll bring it home, wash it, and give it to them as a gift. Trash goblin energy.

Unpopular opinion

I think he's the least interesting of the Burners. :/

Song I associate with them

"Victorious" by Panic! at the Disco

Favorite picture of them

Hunter:

Favorite thing about them

I like that his character can be really sad, or really funny, or both at the same time. There's a great duality and balance to him that I really like.

Least favorite thing about them

I kind of wish he'd been introduced/alluded to in the first season (before the finale). The fact that there's no mention of Emperor Belos having any living family members, or of the Golden Guard title being a thing at all in the first season makes his introduction feel kind of out of left field. More of a problem with the writing than with his character, but still.

Favorite line

"This is my grave! Want me to make you one too?"

BROTP

He and Gus have a really cute brotherly thing going on and I really hope we get to see more of it in season 3. :)

OTP

Huntlow is pretty cute.

NOTP

Lunter. His relationship with Luz feels more sibling-like than anything to me. And Luz is happy with her gf, thank you very much.

Random headcanon

Since he didn't have a phone (scroll, whatever you wanna call it) before "Any Sport in a Storm" he does not know how other people his age text at all. All of his texts are in proper English with perfect grammar, spelling, capitalization, and punctuation. He texts like an old man. XD

Unpopular opinion

Again, can't think of anything.

Song I associate with them

"This Is Home" by Cavetown

Favorite picture of them

#ask meme #headcanons #motorcity #julie kane #motorcity texas #motorcity headcanons #the owl house #toh hunter #toh headcanons #thanks for asking!#my post

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wipbigbang · 2 years

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Story Title: The Bridge Between the Stars, Part One Fandom: Star Wars (Rogue One/Rebellion Era) Link: AO3

Headers by the amazing pennywaltzy!

Summary:

After the ‘accidental’ death of her father (retired Imperial Navy, though I’m sure that had nothing at all to do with his death), Alderaan native Kreyla Trozrela (stoic, cold, and already a sharpshooter at 16) joins the rest of her family in space.

Or, more accurately, in the fight against the Empire.

It’s a Rogue One prequel, a Rogue One sequel, and a Rogue One everybody-lives AU all rolled into one!

Warnings:

Rated E for Explicit Smut and Extreme Self-Indulgence

Non-explicit rape/SA (off-screen) and aftermath, major character death, canon-typical violence, childbirth, interrogation under torture, and Alderaan blows up.

No beta. We die like Bothans.

Characters: A cast of almost entirely original characters!

Meet the Trozrela family, the crew of the Istabith Falls:

Irshe: captain, pilot, oldest sister, hard ass

Mom: mechanic, second-in-command, Fun-Killer

Sassy: medic, middle brother, ray of sunshine

Cady: not-much-older-but-annoyingly-superior cousin, apprentice healer

QT: astromech

Mewloorun: tooka cat, trash goblin

and Kreyla: youngest sister, apprentice mechanic, sharpshooter, and our MC

Together the crew are members of Viceroy Organa’s Alderaan Resistance (Sunburst Division), primarily acting as smugglers, blockade runners, and small-time infiltrators.

Major canon characters (in order of appearance): Jyn Erso, Saw Guerrera, Jek Lawauqne, Cassian Andor, Shaeeah Lawquane, Bodhi Rook

Pairings:

Jyn Erso/OFC, Cassian Andor/OFC, Jek Lawquane/OC, Shaeeah Lawquane/OC, mild Jyn Erso/Cassian Andor, hints of Cassian Andor/Bodhi Rook.

That’s all for now, though in Part Two it will become a beautiful poly web of Cassian/Jyn/Bodhi/OC, and various combinations therein.

When I Started: November of last year (holy shit)

How I Lost My Shit:

I got stuck in my head. I’m sure you can all guess the litany: “Nobody reads OCs! Nobody likes OC/Canon! You should be focused on writing stories that you can publish! Why are you wasting your time and effort when you only have a finite amount of words in your tiny pathetic brain??”

Between us, though, my shit was never that well-contained to begin with. My dad’s health has been bad, my pain levels have been bad, my partner’s job was bad, the world is a dumpster fire, and I was also querying an original novel, which is its own special level of disheartening hell.

How I Finished My Shit:

It started with my spouse (a prince amongst men). “Hey,” he said to me when I was finished tearfully pouring out the above litany to him, “you should write whatever makes you happy. People will like it, because you’re a great writer,” (a prince, I tell you!), “but It doesn’t matter who reads it as long as you have a good time.”

Then I stumbled on a promo for the Big Bang, and it all fell into place.

With an outside deadline on hand, I was able to give myself permission to stop worrying about reception and just write the damn thing the way I wanted to read it. I hope you enjoy reading half as much as I did writing.

#submission #fandom: star wars #fandom: rogue one #!completed shit #!2022

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trashgoblinzimmeh · 2 years

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OOC: This Zim's Age

This is a friendly reminder that this Zim in particular is an adult (about 18 Irken years or 184 human years, going off my HC). So, he is able to freely partake in more adult activities and does have random testosterone spikes, which causes him to go into rut if he cannot give himself or something else a green gown (or bite rocks).

And no, he will NOT do that to his smeets, animals, children, or others who cannot/do not consent. The Trash Goblin Zim has at least some common human decency and won't stoop that low.

He might be a depraved, bacteria-ridden Irken maggot, but he's NOT a full-on neckbeard who lives in his mom's basement and spends all his time watching adult anime.

#invader zim #roleplay #iz au #ooc #he has some standards #he understands the difference between yes and no

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toehwa6 · 10 days

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What’s up pookie got more bitchin to do

Dawg everyone around me is fuckin insane

Little cousin is a trash goblin who is the blind kind of ambition that can be good or bad

Instead of being a hater I was like ima support this dumbass, make some music, let him push it and build out catalogs

But I’m tellin this kid how I believe in him but his are priorities are fucked point him in the right direction blah blah blah

And he goes

Yeah cuz I know I got the talent, I just gotta blah blah blah

So fucking stupid. I’m just gonna watch him do his thing cause honestly it makes some somewhat good quality from using presets and his music is fr absurd/entertaining

Also, he says the N word, which when I called him out for it, he replied

Naw they say it around here it’s all good

So yeah, kinda hope that doesn’t bite me in the ass for workin with this bozo

Dawg lemme tell you somethin funny

So he’s beefin with his friend and diss each other and make diss songs all that bullshit

So my cousin goes, let me know what you think about this diss

The title is “FUCK (Cousins name)”

So I’m like okay his friend wrote this about him

Turns out it’s all shit. But in the beginning there’s this line

“Yo auntie don’t want to see another family member dead”

And I for one, have a dead lil brother, two, a sad mom lol

So I was like damn this a crazy bar

So I asked cousin about it and he’s like oh no I wrote that

Soooo I’m like wtf dawg shit

And he goes

Naw so his mom died and his auntie raisin him that’s why

Like bro Jesus Christ what’s wrong with this fuckin people

Dawg my lil homie finally got a bitch and she’s cool I met her yesterday

But bro she literally has like aspie meltdowns in public when shit gets mildly difficult

Like she was tryna make a complicated dispensary order, at a new dispensary, for multiple people, with no money

And bro she just lost it and like broke down

Bro she looked fuckin SCARED all day I felt so bad fr like bro you are scared rn

Idk she was also super pissy too, like when her phone was about to die when making that order

It’s just a m, WELL WTF ARE WE GOING TO DO??

And then you could see she got super upset and I was like bitch, chill

I ended up talking to her about mental health at the end and it was wacky

I just asked her how she was doing and shit

Turns out she wants to learn about basic finances and budgeting

She’s going to be more honest with her docs about now takin her meds right

And then I straight up told her to stop being a pussy

I was like bro, you gon be scared forever. And shit only gets harder fr. Push through it’s worth it

She fr took it super well. She had that attitude where she’s super fucked up and doesn’t have anyone real to talk to, so she was like oh fuck this my time

It was cool. It was so joyful seeing this happy young couple together. They remind me of me and my gf. More friends than partners. I like that.

But you could see her tryin to make moves on him, and he was just super oblivious, as you are at that age lol

But I also noticed him struggle to handle those freak out moments. He handled it well but you could see he ain’t dealt with this before.

They’re both cool tho. I set them up with some good actual resources. I was teachin homie about finances, like emergency funds, the 50% rule for bills, and then I said

Just because you got the money for somethin, doesn’t mean you can afford it.

Then I said

Think about that huh? And I tapped my head lol

But naw fr, he’s super cool about it.

He’s said some really nice things to me lately.

I randomly helped him through basically a business break up.

And he was freakin out and I took a chance and was hard on him instead of suckin his dick

He was like my life is over bro and I’m like

Quit being a pussy bro, that’s life. It ain’t always gon be good shit. This is part of the process

I was like, you were in a toxic situation, you learned a lot, and you made some money, now you’re out but you learned those skills

He really turned around and looked different about it

But then he thanked me for bein a good friend to him. That made me feel good

I’ve known him since he was like 16 and he’s 22 now I think

Super cool

I think this shit crashing so ima cut this and start another one

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wardencommanderrodimiss · 5 years

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For one of my Pokémon OCs, Zoe, one of the jokes in her story was that she gave some of the worst nicknames to her ‘mons, like some were okay, and some were just terrible

Anyway her “starter” Pokémon was a Purrloin she had as a pet from her family, who she named Pretty Boy. But as I’m almost constantly revisiting these OCs and updating their edgy or plot-holey stories, I’ve decided that Purrloin at some point ends up named Bastard Man.

It’s probably an in-universe name change, too.

#you know the one post that’s the guy texting his wife and his mother about the cat #and the wife is like ‘no stop being mean!!!’ and the mom is like ‘lmao’ about the cat being jailed for crimes #that’s zoe and n and their -rather- different styles of engaging w ‘mons #zoe lovingly snuggling her purrloin: 'little trash goblin. dumpster creature'#n: 'nooooo' D:#zoe: 'bastard man'#n: 'no!' >:(#why get into country-destroying fights with your power as legendary heroes when you can work out all the lingering yin-yang conflict #by arguing about whether you can and/or should call a pokemon 'bastard man' when in all appearances said pokemon #seems to take pride in being a little bastard gremlin?#zoe: 'if pokemon don't have the moral capacity to choose evil without their trainer's guidance explain THIS' -holds up purrloin-#n: 'no that's still your fault in all likelihood'#zoe: -shocked pikachu face-#anyway sometimes i just get feelings about my pokemon ocs for no goddamn reason. now is one such time.

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thawedd-blog · 5 years

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OOC / so i haven't had the energy to write at all lately and instead all i've been doing us considering cr/itro/le muses and it's kinda ridiculous. i have 2 urls saved (firegret and commaearned) and i'm only gonna get more knowing me. i'm even considering molly and idk what to Do

#→♛ all curtains drawn . ooc #mobile.#i just find cal//eb and no//tt so interesting........#ca//leb especially due to his story and just how absolutely fucked up he is. i wont spoil shit but im only on ep 20 or so and hooooooooooooo #local trash man just really wants to bend reality to his will for his own selfish but trauma-fueled reasons #and NO//TT IS MY GARBAGE MOM I ADORE HER her entire story about not wanting to be a goblin anymore makes my heart break.......#momther................ pls be ok......................#im wuv u #i could get more in depth abt her and her dysphoria too but ive rambled enough im sorry i just have so many feelings

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rayshippouuchiha · 3 years

Note

Pro hero Deku is asked a lot if questions about his love life (no he's not dating kacchan, no he's not dating shouto, no he's not dating ochako she's married what the hell) and at some point he decides to get himself a boyfriend just for it to stop. Fake ofc, but no one needs to know that. He just wants some peace and quiet.

But of course the questions dont stop, if anything they're starting to get worse, only his mom seemed so happy that hes dating someone and now he's committed damn it, and the stories keeps getting more elaborate and like, maybe this was a bad idea but he's in too deep.

And he's also sort of growing attached to his fictional boyfriend, cause he seems like a cool and competent dude, izuku would not mind dating him if, you know, he actually existed.

Plot twist: hizashi is always one to stay on top of hero news, he loves and lives vicariously through gossip with nemuri any chance be gets, so he definitely keeps track of all the clues deku gives about his secret boyfriend (bc the nr 1 hero having a secret boyfriend is Grade A Gossip, and hizashi is intrigued and yearns to know more) and it's all fun and games until hizashi starts to grow suspicious that he KNOWS this secret boyfriend, that he is BEST FRIENDS with this secret boyfriend, and why the hell hasn't shouta told hizashi personally??? How dare???

Oh oh yes yes this is perfect.

And it gets even better because of course Hizashi is gonna confront Shouta. Of course he is. Shouta’s breaking some sacred best friend rules by not telling him that he’s been dating the #1. Like, Hizashi understands the want/need for some level of privacy, really he does, but surely he should be exempt from that. Bro Law and everything.

So of course this means Shouta gets a phone call at like 5 in the afternoon when he’s actually trying to get some sleep.

“SHOOOUUTTTAAAA,” Hizashi screeches down the line so loudly that, even though he’s laying down alone in his own apartment, Shouta can’t help the way his quirk activates on instinct.

“What.”

“WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL MEEEE?” Hizashi sobs dramatically down the line.

“Probably because you always act like this,” Shouta huffs. “But I also have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“I’m your best friend,” Hizashi prattles on. “You could have at least told me, I can keep a secret you know? I wouldn’t have told anyone, probably.”

“Hizashi,” Shouta breaks in. “What. Are. You. Talking. About?”

“You’re Deku’s secret boyfriend!!” Hizashi announces victoriously.

Shouta pulls his phone back enough to stare at the screen for a moment, brows furrowed, before he brings it back to his ear.

“Have you been kidnapped?” he practically barks the question out.

“W-What?” Hizashi sputters. “NO! Sho what the hell?”

“What’s your safe word?” Shouta demands.

“Meatloaf,” Hizashi replies instantly. “Wh-”

“Are you trapped, currently bleeding out, injured, or in need of backup?” Shouta spits the questions out rapid fire.

“No, no, no, and no,” Hizashi answers back just as quickly. “I’m perfectly fine and at home, just wondering why my best friend hasn’t told me about his secret affair -”

Shouta hangs up.

Hizashi’s in no danger which means he doesn’t have to humor his ridiculous bullshit right now when he could be taking a nap.

His phone rings for the next ten minutes straight before Trash comes toddling into the room and curls up on top of it to go to sleep.

~~~

It doesn’t end there. Because of course it doesn’t.

Hizashi keeps badgering him about his supposed love affair with Deku of all people, the #1 hero Shouta’s never even met in person before.

Mainly he ignores Hizashi whenever he starts in on the topic or tries to badger him for detail that don’t exist.

But then...

Then it comes to a bit of a head when Shouta gets dragged out for drinks with Hizashi, Nemuri, and Tensei like they normally try to do every other week or so if possible.

Only this time they’re not the only pros at the dive bar they end up at.

Because Joke is there, because of course she is, because the universe officially hates Shouta.

Joke is an excellent hero, a good teacher from what he’s heard, and overall a nice person but Shouta only has enough spoons for a select group of people in his social life and sometimes even that’s pushing it.

Joke with her constant laughing, her attempts at comedy without her quirk involved, and her insistent need to constantly hit on Shouta is someone who drains him faster than should be possible.

Only this time it’s different.

They’re a few drinks in when Joke tries to slide her way into the booth beside him, a grin already stretching her mouth.

And while normally the others would just laugh and smirk and leave Shouta to suffer, this time Hizashi steps in.

“Yeah, no,” Hizashi slides the drinks he’d gone to collect onto the table and then shimmies his way in between Joke and the booth to steal the seat right beside Shouta instead. “Seats taken.”

“Awwww,” Joke pouts, “don’t be like that. Why’re you trying to get in the way of me and Eraser’s love story?”

"Find someone new to hit on, sweetheart,” Hizashi tips a look at her over his shades. “Nemuri’s always free you know? Our Shouta’s a taken man now.”

There’s a sort of collective spit take around the table.

“What?” Nemuri croaks from where she’s trying to clean what looks like cream off of her face. “Are you two ...?”

“Oh no, not us, we’ve told you that before.” Hizashi waves a hand in front of him with the ease of an argument they’ve all had more than once over the years.

“Then?” Tensei prompts.

Hizashi leans forward across the table, expression turning sly and secretive, the rest of the group leaning in as well, anticipation practically wafting off of them.

And Shouta immediately knows where this is about to go.

“Our Sho’s been keeping secrets,” Hizashi sing-songs. “But honestly I can’t believe it took me so long to put it together when the clues were right there.”

“Get on with it man,” Nemuri orders.

“Our unkempt goblin friend is dating none other than the adorable and stacked force of nature that is our #1 hero Deku,” Hizashi throws his hands up in a ta-da sort of gesture.

For a long moment there’s silence.

And then every head at the table swings in Shouta’s direction all at once.

For a split second Shouta debates on nipping it in the bud, putting an end to this ridiculousness once and for all. But then he stops, thinks about it, flicks a look towards Joke and quickly runs through the list of advantages having a fake SO could provide him with, and immediately course corrects.

“It’s a secret,” Shouta deadpans. “We’re deeply in love. Tell no one.”

Which, of course, means that by the time Shouta rolls out of bed the next afternoon everyone knows.

#The Boyfriend Bluff AU #BnHA #AiDeku #Anonymous #RayRambles

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