#toons are boneless right??? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hello-im-not-a-possum · 3 years

Note

Can we get a fic of Everyone's first reaction to snowflake?

“Everyone was used to supernatural bullshit and as the toons already existed for several years now, they already knew that the Ink could create life. So while there was a bit of shock for some at the thought of the Janitor being the new father of a toon of his own, they mostly congratulated Wally on his new son and/or gave him parenting advice.”

...Sorry, this feels like a cop out, so we just gotta throw a child into a different dimension for kicks and giggles and character development.

Knowing the magic user's history with this kind of thing, Snowflake couldn't help but feel nervous when he saw Joey painting a large circle on the wall and intricate symbols within the said circle.

"G-grandpa Joey, what are you doing?"

"Opening a portal to a different dimension." The animator replied nonchalantly. "An important key ingredient for several reversal spells no longer seems to exist in this one, so I'm getting more from the closest one that has a lot of it before the Ink starts acting up again."

"Oh?" The little devil looked intrigued, the last time a visitor from another dimension came to their own, he was strange, but friendly! And wondered what the rest of that dimension, or other ones like it were like. "Can I come? I-I'll be good I promise!"

"Well..." Joey brushed his mustache in thought as the portal started to open. "Other dimensions can be quite unpredictable, especially ones where magic is much more secretive than it is in our own, I don't think the studio on the other side even has living toons yet!" The animator fidgeted with his collar. "And given the track record other Joeys have with their own studios and magic, I don't think it's smart for me to take you..."

"Pleeeeeaaaaasse!" the imp begged. "I promise that I'll stay close and not run off! ...unless it's an emergency."

"Hmm..."

The magic user narrowed his eyebrows and continued to stroke his mustache as he thought about the potential consequences for bringing Snowflake along. The thought of a distraught Wally discovering that he had taken his son somewhere dangerous and the kid got hurt as a result had made the man immune to the imp's otherwise irresistible puppy eyes, but the Ink behind the imp slowly rising from a puddle to a featureless figure that was making threatening gestures made him quickly realize that the consequences for NOT bringing Snowflake along might be even worse than taking him.

"Okay."

"Yay!" the little devil cheered, taking Joey by the hand and pulling him through the portal. "C'mon! Let's go see what other dad's like!"

"Wait, wait, wait, wait," the old man gave a sharp tug on the speckled imp as he tried to run off and knelt down to be closer to his eye level. "This is *just* a last-resort errand run, nothing more, nothing less. Now that we're here, we are going to find the ingredient, get it and get out. Ideally, we won't even come across our alternate selves, let alone speak to them!"

"Why?"

Joey looked around nervously before bringing his voice down to a whisper and gestured for Snowflake to do the same.

"Because of the butterfly effect we'll bring here! How do you think the Wally on this side will react when you tell him you're his son from a different dimension when where he's from, magic is genuinely not real for him?"

"...He'll freak out?"

"Yes! Not only will he freak out but he'll probably tell everyone he knows! Including this world's Joey, who judging by his nickname; "That shi- shoot heel puppeteer", is the last person who needs to know about magic, let alone how to use it..."

"Oh. Yeah, that doesn't sound good..." the imp agreed as he suddenly regretted his decision. "Do you think it's too late to throw me back-"

The pair gazed at the now blank spot on the wall where they came from.

"...Unfortunately yes, so stay close and put on a disguise."

"I-I didn't bring one..." the imp sheepishly responded. "...Sorry, I got too caught up in the excitement."

Joey sighed deeply as he took off his glasses and sweater vest, putting them on the kid toon instead.

"It's not the best, but it'll do for now as long as we don't stick around long enough for them to see past it, so let's hurry out of here!"

Snowflake nodded and guided Joey as he tried to navigate the similar-yet different studio. (The man did not wear glasses for the sake of aesthetic.)

The layout seemed similar enough, but there were less pipes running through the building, the colors were duller, the stale smell of tobacco, old coffee, sweat, and a coppery-earthy scent that reminded Joey of blood but wasn't quite similar enough for him to call it that lingered in every single room they entered, the employees that they passed might as well have been reanimated corpses with how drained of energy they looked, all of them didn't even so much as acknowledge the pair's presence.

That was, until, an unfamiliar-looking yet familiar sounding janitor took notice. The man didn't look like Snowflake's dad, he was a lanky fellow and wore the same hat that his own father wore to work, but the similarities in appearance stopped right there. This world's Wally had shaggy, dark brown hair, eyes so dark that they looked black, a crooked nose, and when he smiled at them, Snowflake could clearly see that the man was missing a tooth.

"Hey, how'd you two get in 'ere?"

Joey cursed under his breath before answering the other Wally.

"Well, I was just-"

The dimension-traveling duo suddenly felt dozens of angry eyes on them, which had melted into confusion and mild intriguement as they realized that the man who spoke looked more like a kindly grandpa with an odd-looking Bendy doll with him instead of their sleazy boss. The pair of outsiders were afraid they fucked everything up before to the relief of the pair and the horror to everybody else, they heard the voice of Sammy in the other room shouting "God dammit Joey! I told you time and time again to stay out of the music department!" followed by the revving of a chainsaw.

The animator was quick to realize his mistake as he cleared his throat and did his best 'sounds like a normal voice but isn't MY normal voice' voice.

"-I was just looking for a herbal shop nearby but got turned around. If one of you fine folks could give my grandson and I directions, we'll happily get out of your hair."

Wally frowned in confusion as he looked at the very obviously not-human creature who smiled meekly at him and waved. He shrugged off the mild weirdness as he remembered that he did know where an herbal shop was.

"Dat's all? No problem! Herbal shop's right next to a really good burgah joint, has a statue of a knight wranglin' a unicorn right outside da place, ya can't miss it, an' by extension, ya can't miss da herbal shop eithah."

"Why thank you, you're too kind..."

"Oh and uh, Sorry if da musicians 'ere freaked ya out." The janitor adjusted his hat, it now covered the man's eyes. "Our music director recently got re-hirahed but nobody's willin' ta forgive da boss ova what he put him through, not dat I blame 'em, I get jitteahs every time I think about it happenin' ta me too!"

Joey nodded sympathetically as he reached for his companion's hand and internally panicked as he couldn't find it.

---

Snowflake ran off, the eyes on his back and by proxy, the pressure of knowing that the fate of this world and his own was on his back was far too intense. In his mad rush, he had only made his situation worse with everywhere he ran as he had lost Joey's glasses on accident, which was a vital part of the disguise.

"Holy sheit! is that a bloody livin' toy?!"

"What in the goddamn... Bertrum! Come look! You gotta see this!"

"My word! What has Drew done?"

"Okay, this time I'm finally going to quit for real! I swear, these hallucinations are just getting worse every time I come into work!"

"It... it worked! Tom, look!"

"Or at least, this one looks better than the first model- Hey! Get back here!"

It was terrifying thinking about how these alternate versions of the people he knew and grew to love, ones who shared their voices and careers, but not appearances, memories, and experiences could very well be his enemies. Most chilling of all, he heard Joey's voice in the crowd.

"Well done Tommy! At least this one looked halfway presentable!"

He shuddered at the thought of that Joey getting his hands on him. He didn't even know where he ran off to, only that he had to escape from them, he then squeezed himself into a small crack in the wall, an easy feat for a boneless ink creature, not so much for anything else.

His heart pounded loudly against his chest, the little imp tried to hush it, and prayed that the noise wouldn’t give him away he just needed to calm down. But his prayers went unanswered as the 'click-clack' of a pair of high heels passed by, and a woman crouched down, possibly hearing him.

“Now how on earth did you manage to wedge yourself in there, little guy?”

He recognized that voice all right, he scooched deeper into his hiding spot, hoping she’d leave him alone. The woman, the Susie Campbell of this world judging by her voice, might’ve looked at him with concern, but something about her just felt… wrong to him. He knew of alternate realities, good ones, bad ones, and downright weird ones, but this one felt uncanny to him and he just wanted to go home, it wasn't outright worse than most dimensions, but it seemed so bleak and miserable.

Hopefully he was wrong, but as of right now, it felt like this was a world that wouldn't even so much as bat an eye at its own destruction.

"I-I shouldn't have asked in the f-first place..." he muttered to himself. "I s-should've j-just left Joey to do his errand and s-stayed out of it..."

"Hey," the woman gently knocked on the wall, all the imp could see of her was her face, a face that looked mostly normal except for her left eye, which looked glassy and didn't look at him like her right eye did. "Are you okay in there?"

Snowflake stayed quiet.

"Oh no..." the woman muttered to herself. "Don't panic, I'll go get help!"

She said as she left, but her words didn't make the little guy feel any better.

He slowly crawled out of his hiding spot, ready to hunt down another one while fighting off the guilt that came with making the other Susie worry about him, while her eye was weird, she seemed just as nice as the one from his own dimension.

What seemed less nice however, was the sudden cold, yet firm grip on his shoulder.

"You know, it's very rude ta ignore folks who's just tryin' ta help you."

"Eep!"

The imp spun around to face a man with a familiar voice, he was a tall, dark-skinned, older man with an eye patch on his right eye, had a thin frame, and attire that vaguely reminded Snowflake of a comic about a western vampire hunter that Buddy showed him.

"Awfully jumpy, aren't ya, kiddo?" Norman chuckled as he knelt down to his eye level. "I get that a lot from people. But in all seriousness, we can't just have yous wanderin' around wherever you please, this here studio's a dang deathtrap, even on the best of days."

"S-sorry Norman..." Snowflake adjusted Joey's sweater vest as a realization dawned on him: judging by the studio workers' lack of a surprised reaction to him, this world might be more magical than his own world's Joey assumed. "Hey, wait a minute, are toons real h-here too? Can I find Bendy, Alice and Boris around here?"

Norman raised an eyebrow in confusion, but thankfully for the imp's sake, he stayed calm.

"Mr. Drew's tryin' but he ain't got a dang thing ta show for it. Although, I'm kinda hoping he can't, it doesn't sit too right with me. Just call it a gut feelin', but I don't trust that anythin' good will come from him messing with things like that."

"Y-yeah..." Snowflake nodded. "I've been here for less than f-fifteen minutes and I think I can see exactly what you mean. This place's Joey seems so much worse than my Joey."

"Sorry ta hear that little guy..." Norman knelt down to the little demon. "So, would ya mind ta tell me about this 'other Joey?"

"Oh, sure thing!"

---

True to her word, when Susie returned, she brought over three people; Wally, Joey who was now wearing his slightly broken glasses (Who Snowflake was relieved to see), and a shirtless, long-haired man with a chainsaw in his hands.

He was tall and broad, had dark brown hair and tan skin, his eyes were a stormy gray, and they were sharp with a steadfast determination that made Snowflake feel nervous, the little imp felt like there was something deeply terrifying about this man, and not just because he was currently carrying a dangerous weapon. Although, he couldn't deny that he felt a sense of familiarity with this man that he had not felt with the others in this dimension.

Snowflake felt like he's met this man before.

"Alright, and he should be right here..." The voice actress trailed off as she saw the timid devil shyly wave at her, very much freed from his wall prison and seemed to be chatting with her favorite projectionist. "Oh! Hi Norman! Thanks for getting him out for us and keeping him company!"

"It was no problem, the kid wasn't half bad company."

"Ya know kid, we're glad ta see ya okay, but your grandpops and I was lookin' everywhere for you! Not gonna lie, ya gave us both a scare when ya ran off alone like dat."

"The fuck is that thing?"

"Sammy!" The woman elbowed the shirtless man in the ribs. "Be nice!"

"Alright..." The man rolled his eyes and gave a forced smile that showed off black gums and yellowish-grayish teeth that creeped Snowflake out (the smile itself, not the man's gums or teeth, judging by his smell, he was an avid smoker and it was at least normal for him to have a mouth like that, the smile however... he doesn't think a man's smile should be that wide.). As he lifted the little devil up by the shirt like a scruffed kitten, he presented him to Joey. "Now then, is this your lost little lamb?"

"Yes." Joey reached for the imp. "Please don't hold him like that."

"Nearest exit is down the hall, take a right turn when you reach the giant broken pipe that's leaking everywhere and hasn't been touched for at least a week." The man gestured fluidly as he still held up that creepy smile. "As... lovely as it was for you two to visit us and our little studio, we really should be getting back to work before Joey decides to fire and blacklist everyone in this room for loitering or something."

"Uh... thanks?" Joey suddenly snapped upright. "Wait, how are you all so calm about this?! All of you are barely even reacting over a living cartoon character right there!"

"Speaking of which do you know who doesn't need to know about that? Our boss. You claim you're not here for a meet and greet and I don't think this should turn into one. You got the information you came here for, now get what you needed from here and get out."

"Wow, you're a rather blunt fellow, aren't you?"

"You could say so."

"W-well, I-it was scary, but it was also nice meeting all of you! Maybe we should visit again later so we can know each other better!"

"Oooh! I'll look forward to it!" Susie smiled warmly. "Good luck with your ingredient hunt, boys!"

Sammy started to shove the pair down the hall as he felt they wouldn't leave otherwise.

"Yeah, yeah, goodbye and all that, see you soon, I won't forget to write... Have yourselves some happy travels! Goodbye again."

The musician led them out of the building and dusted off his hands as he returned to the others who did not look happy with him.

"That was very rude, Lawrence..." Susie scolded. "They just wanted our help!"

Wally shook his head but didn't add anything.

"And we gave it!” He hissed. “Do you really think it would be safe for them to stay and talk with the shitheel around? Especially after what he just did to us?! Do you want HIM to know that there's a different version of him who got everything he's wanted and more? What do you think he'll do to them when he finds them? Do you want to find out?"

Susie's face scrunched up in realization as the other two men uncomfortably shuffled in their spots.

"I thought so..."

"...Think they'll come back?" Norman piped up. "I kinda wanted to talk with that other Joey."

The musician shrugged.

"Do ya at least think we'll find a way ta get ta 'em ourselves?"

"Maybe? If they would a way here, I wouldn't be surprised if we could get there."

"Wanna look for a way there? Ya gotta admit you're curious what the other us are like too!"

"Hmm... Well, maybe after hours."

#Bendy and the Ink Machine #Hell's Studio AU #joey drew #snowflake the demon #wally franks #norman polk #susie campbell #sammy lawrence #fanfic

8 notes · View notes

yunisverse · 5 years

Note

Ok, I’m not the anon who just asked, but I’ve been REALLY wondering about how the encounter with Elias and Rubberhose Noodle Gentleman was gonna end, and if it’s even remotely possible, I’d kill to see a fic for that.

Elias sits on the sofa, his hands kneading at the stitching along the seat cushion. The frustration and confusion has backed up far too much for him to sit still effectively, but if he wants answers he needs to sit--and he'll be damned if he shows his nerves in front of this magical mistake. So he grips the couch, in order to make sure he doesn't just up and fly away.

Across from him, perched in an upholstered chair and with his hands folded neatly in his lap, sits what's left of Elias' father. It's hard to look at him, but it's even more difficult to look away; Elias' eyes keep roaming over every strange little detail and impossible quirk of the toon shell, from the boneless bend of limbs where elbows and knees ought to be to the featureless little half circles that pass for ears. He's barely gotten used to Bendy's complete disregard for logical anatomy, but honestly this parody of an ordinary human body is so much more difficult to get used to. Especially with that voice coming out of it.

"It's… a lot to take in, I know." Henry sits unnaturally straight in his seat--Elias suspects he's trying to make himself look taller to make up for the inches he's lost. "I've wanted to tell you for a long time, but…" He spreads his bulky hands, looking down at himself then back to Elias. "I didn't exactly know how to start."

His fingers clench at the sofa, then loosen, then clench again. "So you decided not to tell me at all."

"No, no, that's not--" Henry worries at his lip with large, flat teeth. "I… it's complicated. All of this. I was trying to figure it all out, before--"

"Oh!" Elias barks out a laugh. "Oh, you just were figuring it all out, is all! A mass soul transmutation, just going to work that one through on your own before talking to anyone, huh?"

Henry closes his eyes, taking a deep breath. Always so calm and composed, always so above it all. "That's not how it was, Elias. Please, you have to believe me--"

"No, I really, really don't!" In spite of himself, Elias feels a wry smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. There's something so grimly hilarious about his father trying to play this all off like it's some meaningless misunderstanding. "You broke reality. I don't have to believe much of anything from you anymore!"

"I didn't--" This time Henry cuts himself off, his bulbous fingers rubbing at a temple. Another breath, and Elias can see that scrawny chest of his inflate and deflate like a black balloon. Elias smirks wider. Maybe this version of his dad is better. He has a much harder time acting like he's perfect, and there's a miserable satisfaction in seeing him try.

"You're right."

Elias blinks. His fingers tighten further on the couch.

"I… I wouldn't believe any of this, either. All this time, I still think maybe it's all been a dream. Or just a big show." Henry clasps his hands in his lap again. "I'm asking a lot of you right now. And… and you don't have to put up with any of it, if you don't want to. But… please, will you at least listen to what happened?"

Two words. Two words was all it took for Elias to get thrown off his guard. Two words he's been wanting to hear from his father for a long time, and now that they're hanging in the air all he can think of is how much they piss him off. Is that really all Henry thinks he needs to do, to win him over? One little admission, not even an apology or a proper confession that he's been in the wrong?

"Ey, pops, tell me something." Elias jerks, losing his grip as he looks down at the sofa where Bendy has suddenly appeared next to him. "Now, I've seen you stand up to a sludge demon out to consume your living essence, and you talked it down without even breaking a sweat." Bendy pats at Elias' arm, still keeping eye contact with Henry. "So, what is it that has you so scared of my little bro here?"

"You did--sorry, you did what?" Elias stares between the two of them, and catches a gray blush creeping over Henry's face.

"Most of that was you," Henry tugs at his collar, his comically large bowtie bobbing. "I made things a lot worse before they got better."

"Oh sure, you botched things real nice at the start." Bendy crosses his arms. "And at the middle, too. And boy, that second act low point was all your doing too, nearly did all of us in with your messing about there."

Henry's posture has curled in on itself, his shoulders hitched up around his ears and the gray blush creeping down below his neck. "I've said as much, haven't I?"

Bendy rubs at his chin, then peers up at Elias. "What do you say, pally? It's one heck of a story, but it's a pretty good one if you like hearing how much of a dope your old man can be."

"That does sound good." Elias jumps again as his sister comes into the doorframe. He ought to have guessed she'd been listening in, in spite of her insistence she wanted no part in their argument. Peggy raises an eyebrow at her father. "I've been hoping to hear this one for a while, you know."

Elias balks. "Wait, he hasn't told you? You've been hanging around these things for how long?"

Peggy shrugs. "I've gotten the gist of it over the months, but they've all played pretty cagey about the full story. If Dad and Bendy are finally offering it up, I want to hear it even if you're not interested."

Elias looks to his father again, who seems to have begun compulsively smoothing out his best in an effort to avoid eye contact from the rest of the room. "It's… the whole thing is… it's a long story, all of it, and complicated." Henry swallows, an Adam's apple bobbing visibly. "But. It's well past time it was told. If… if you'll help me with it, Bendy."

Bendy grins in response. "Can't trust you to include the best bits, can I?"

Henry sighs. "The most humiliating bits, you mean." Bendy rolls his eyes, as though that ought to be obvious. Henry actually smiles, though rather wearily. He calls out, "You two as well, if you're willing."

Elias glances over in time to see both Boris and Alice poke their noses in behind Peggy, both of them looking anxious. Henry waves them in, and Boris flops down on the floor while Alice perches on the sofa next to Bendy. She offers Elias a little smile. "It's… not a pretty story, on my end, but I suppose it's about time it got off my chest."

The sudden crowd in the living room settles into place, everyone seated and looking expectantly to Henry. Elias, himself, looks around at the strange figures that now claim to be part of his family. Steeling himself, he crosses his arms and nods at his father.

"No escaping it. Tell us everything."

Henry's smile brightens, and Elias frowns deeper in response. For now, all he wants is an honest explanation. It doesn't change anything between them.

"All right." Henry nods back, looking around at all the faces turned to him. "Well, it's hardly the start of the story, but for me it started with a letter."

#rubberhose au neutral #rubberhose au i guess?????#fanfic #long post #queries and comments #deviltufts #i had to draft this like three times i kept losing it =/

61 notes · View notes

sohannabarberaesque · 5 years

Photo

Postcards from Snagglepuss: Show us the way to the Moxie, and then some!

Our crew finally made it into Lisbon, Maine, largely via I-95 coming off the I-495 bypass of Boston, eventually segueing into the Maine Turnpike ... Exit 80 thereof, thereat, even, eventually reaching Maine 196, the gateway into the celebration of Moxie otherwise known as the Moxie Festival, the direct cause of this Character Convocation (and then some), in line with established practice, no doubt. And during the Thursday-evening checkin, yours truly, Huckleberry Hound and my Laff-A-Lympics compadre, Mildew Wolf, couldn't resist as much sipping on that foundation of "the good life" to the New England mindset as munching on plates of Cabot cheese from neighbouring Vermont on pilot biscuits ... which, believe you me, can certainly take plenty of moxie in and of itself rivalled only by actually managing to taste Moxie for the first time.

Which, for a few like Penelope Pitstop, April Stewart, Tina from Goober and the Ghost Chasers and Pepper from Clue Club, was likely Diet Moxie, which some insist has a harsher taste because of the sugar alternatives used like sucralose or aspertame than the original. But yet again, the crazy thing about Moxie, as I understand it, is the gentian root as is at the heart of the very taste behind Moxie. Which, as someone explained it to me, is widely recommended for digestive and stomachic problems, nasal and sinus issues and for diabeetus ... but when it first came out in 1884, Moxie boasted that it

[c]ontains not a drop of Medicine, Poison, Stimulant or Alcohol. But is a simple sugarcane-like plant grown near the Equator and farther south, was lately accidentally discovered by Lieut. Moxie and has proved itself to be the only harmless nerve food known that can recover brain and nervous exhaustion, loss of manhood, imbecility and helplessness. It has recovered paralysis, softening of the brain, locomotor ataxia, and insanity when caused by nervous exhaustion. It gives a durable solid strength, makes you eat voraciously, takes away the tired, sleepy, listless feeling like magic, removes fatigue from mental and physical over work at once, will not interfere with action of vegetable medicines.

"Makes you eat voraciously," huh ... Yours truly kind of likes that one. And so, I understand, doth Norville "Shaggy" Rogers and a certain Scooby-Doo, particularly with a few bags of Cheez Kurls to accompany weekend overnight horror-film marathons, the campier such, the better. And with plenty of concessions and food trucks around the Moxie Festival site, with such a bold claim as that, I just have to wonder how many of us are going to have enhanced appetites because Moxie. Especially for the likes of the local skin-on hot dogs, known as "Maine Snappers" because of the "snap" encountered when one bites into the casing--and with the buns being cut across the top rather than on the side. (As well as running for the Moxie just to wash it all down; as I noted, Moxie has long been favoured for stomach ailments, though it's largely Urban Legend more than anything.)

*************

Heavens to Frank Archer, and his inviting you to visit Moxieland out Boston way back in the day: While I was not aware of any cookery contests involving the rather bizarre-tasting soda, I could just swear that, for one, Peter Potamus could be seen basting a boneless ham with Moxie in a slow cooker, planning to fix some sandwiches for later on. And Bristlehound, not to be outdone, adding some Moxie to a pot roast (try explaining that to Mildew Wolf, forever a thorn in Bristlehound's side) ... not to mention, for novelty's sake, Augie Doggie and Doggie Daddy offering Moxie ice-cream floats and the Hair Bear Bunch, not to be outdone, fixing some sloppy joes with a dash of Moxie ("for the flavour"). Some of the visitors, I understand, were initially bewildered by such displays of Moxie cuisine way beyond the canon of Moxie epitomised by the Moxie Bottle Wagons, the Moxie Horsemobiles, and all manner of campy merchandise and advertising, especially when Moxie was advertised as "the Two-Minute Vacation" back in the day.

Canon, it turns out, that was nearly compromised when Moxie decided to corner the sugar markets for the flavouring syrup just before the Great Depression, only to miscalculate rather badly ... and nearly compromised further with reformulations in 1947 and 1968 as put off its loyal New England base to such extent that Moxie actually had to return to the original 1884 formula (howbeit, since 1960, absent sassafras, now considered to cause cancer) ... oh, and did I mention where MAD Magazine slipped in the Moxie logo in the backgrounds of its toons in the early 1960's with an eye to reclaiming public awareness of the brand, with sales in the New York City area alone increasing by 10% in the bargain?

As well as some of the cheesy advertising and ephemera for Moxie from "way back," no doubt attracting plenty of curiosity from the collectors' tables from quite a few of our Funtastic stable.

*************

One especially popular event at the Moxie Festival happens to be the Moxie Chugging Competition, which (officially) involves your standard 12-ounce can of Moxie, and trying to gulp it all down in competition against time without being put off by the taste. Yet for some reason, the idea among us Funtastics came about of trying to chug down one-litre bottles of the State Beverage of Maine, and seeing if the crowds would express disapproval, outrage even, at such stunts "not in the spirit of the Moxie canon."

The whole started, playfully enough, as a gag with The Banana Splits "themselves," the better to see who among them could seriously chug down the contents of a one-litre Moxie bottle fastest, and without discomfort (I hear it was Bingo who came up with the idea, silly as he can get). So, on Saturday afterlunch, in the middle of the carnival area for the Moxie Festival, all four of the Splits, plus Captain Caveman, Scooby-Doo, Big H and The King "himself"--and, for good measure, Yogi Bear--set upon the challenge with a one-litre bottle of Moxie. (The two-litre bottle was initially considered, but was rejected as probably being too much for many of us to stomach. Pun accidental.)

Still, it's not easy to expect to chug down a bottle of Moxie in one gulp, especially considering that the taste requires some serious acclimation; in coming up with this particular Convocation, yours truly purchased a case of six-pack Moxie cans from a Long Beach grocers' specialist in New England staples, and quenched his thirst galore with the concoction. Still, given the taste, you need to pace yourself.

(As if that weren't enough, I understand Top Cat and clowder acknowledged missing the old Moxie from back in Brooklyn, and how good such can taste with some grilled Italian sausage in the Brooklyn fashion.) (And returning to The Banana Splits for a moment, Snorky came up with a rather imaginative approach to using his trunk to grasp the bottle.)

By the time it was all over, replete with dumb looks from festival goers as much as requests for selfies holding cans and/or bottles of Moxie--you probably wouldn't have been interested. But what was interesting was that even the Skatebirds, the Cattanooga Cats and the Bungle Brothers couldn't resist the shaved-ham-in-Moxie sandwiches from Peter Potamus, rather generously stacked. And Sis and Honey, on their pop-up shortwave radio station's Saturday broadcast, raving (over Diet Moxie, no doubt) over Bristlehound giving pot roast a new twist of flavour with as much garlic and herbs as Moxie ("even the gravy had that irresistably Down East tang of gentian root extract," as Sis effused).

*************

One thing as was not worth forgetting about was encouraging the Funtastics in attendance to make sure they stocked up on a case or two of Moxie to head back home to, considering that Moxie (and Diet Moxie, let's not forget about them) isn't that easy to find in stores outside the New England region. As well as a case "for the road," in the bargain--not to mention a case of "Maine snapper" hot dogs (packed in dry ice, at any rate) and a bag or two of Humpty Dumpty Potato Chips, another Old Dirigo snacktime staple. Yet even then, Huck and I had to wonder whether it was going to be easy for many such to head back with so much Moxie WITHOUT causing a lot of axle strain in the bargain, evident only when it would be least expected. (One likely exception: The Cattanooga Cats, who decided to get only a couple cases of Moxie considering their impartiality to RC Cola and Moon Pies in classic Southern mindset.)

Even as it was just winding down, yours truly had to admit that Moxie was a bit wicked-tasting ... even as the next adventures await. Likely via the Minnesota State Fair, again. Exit, stage right ...

1 note · View note