Not to be That Guy but like.
Am I the only one that can't stop thinking about how Tianlang-Jun says about Luo Binghe that he pretends to be cold-hearted like his mother. The hint of fondness there, the heartache in that utterance.
Like it drives me absolutely insane. Imagining her putting on a front of strength, cold and driven and unrelenting. Why does TLJ say that about her. Did she secretly look for solutions that meant reconciling with demons instead of hurting them when her sect wasn't looking? (I wonder this because I feel like his weird fondness for SQQ would lowkey track if it's connected to the woman he once loved.) Did he mean that she was tasked with basically assassinating him and she fell in love with him instead (re: failed step one)? Did he mean that she was fond and doting in her own way (e.g. conceding he was attractive, paying for his exploits and humoring him)? Did he mean that, like LBH, she thought that power would be the thing to protect her--and that it was disguising a person who was deeply and privately wounded? All four????? I don't need sleep I need a n s w e r s
Did she know about the Huanhua Palace Master's skeevy ass intentions before she met TLJ? Or did those only come to significant light after she fell in love with TLJ? Is that why she never anticipated that level of betrayal, because initially she had no intention of being with anyone romantically? And HHPM just assumed she would be under his thumb forever?? Was she furious at her own indiscretion or did she try to use the pregnancy as a bargaining chip, a way to try to stop the immortals of Cang Qiong Mountain from attacking TLJ (plus the bonus of marriage entrapment no takesies backsies this is where LBH gets it from)? Did she try to use that claim on her to dissuade HHPM from his covetous advances, framing herself as tainted so that she could finally escape? Did she dream of a life by TLJ's side, far away from Cang Qiong Mountain?
Like. Literally every single permutation of what this could mean guts me to hell. Do you ever just cry about tianxi because I--[loud bawling noises]
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a sneaky list of full poto movies! ;)
youtube
1925
1937 song at midnight
1983
1987 animated
1989 mall
1990
1991 staller
1993 y/k
1995 wishbone
1996 ivan jacobs
2000 ken hill audio
2013 ken hill
2021 korean y/k
leroux audiobook
(these last two are privated every so often, so they're not always available)
musical
lnd
ok.ru
musical
lnd
1943
1962
1974 paradise
1989 freddy
1998 rat phantom
2004
dailymotion
1925 in hd
1995 phantom lover
2011 y/k takarazuka
night gallery
internet archive
musical
1925 original
1974 paradise
1974 hollywood
1983
2004
2004 takarazuka
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They feared for their lives as they hear the screams of another.
Arc I : Betrayal
Post- Movie 1
Click for better quality, my notes about this art is under the cut 👇
Finally got to show you all art about Arc 1! YAY!! This Au has 3 Arcs in total, the first one is Post Movie 1, the second one is basically a retelling of Movie 1 but with a twist, and the last arc is a combination of the second and third movie :3
I have mixed feelings about this art cause I think everything blends together but at the same time not?? It's not really my favorite (._.). I do like the concept of it though, I really want to capture the fear and I don't really think I did that well...so meh-- I might redraw this next time. Idk maybe 👀. Hope you all like it!
For context on what is happening, check this post!
Here's the sketch version:
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I've been thinking about how Vash always seems to be hungry. Or at least, that he's shown eating quite often in the manga. Happily having his salmon sandwiches. Eating an entire box of donuts in the side car. Knowing the conversion rate of bullets to pizza. Seeing a flower and immediately wondering if it's edible. Pondering his life over breakfast. It's a really cute little character detail about him - he likes food.
But then I kind of started to think about the angel arm and its specific brand of destruction. How there were no bodies to be recovered. Nothing but a crater left of July, left on the Fifth Moon. It's all been incinerated. Devoured, even. Tristamp takes it even a step further and makes the power something akin to a black hole - a yawning drain; a constant destructive hunger.
Vash is clearly terrified of this potential for destruction, and for very good reason. But it's not separate from him as some kind of "power he can't control" - it's his arm. It's literally his arm. It is him. Vash is scared of himself, scared of losing control. He does what he can to repress it, even subconsciously (the gaps in his memory whenever it activates). He can't control it in the moment, so he takes steps to preemptively push it down, to avoid the use of his abilities entirely, to hide himself away.
I talked a bit in a previous post about how there are probably several interrelated reasons for Vash's chronically avoidant behaviour, but I'd like to throw one more into the ring and suggest that it's not just a matter of not deserving to want things, but maybe also that he's afraid of wanting. That if he allows himself to even think about what he wants personally that he'll want too much, take too much, and that the only cure in his mind for this is to give and give repeatedly.
I wonder how starved he is for love. Vash loves hard, after all. Once he loves (and I’m not talking about the broad, distant love/compassion he has in general), for better or worse, he carries them around with him forever, long after they've passed. Does he feel like it'd be selfish to admit this kind of want? His love isn't really a passive thing after all - it's the drive at his very core; a mournful inferno he is just barely suppressing. Does he remember how to love in a way that doesn't consume him entirely?
Is that part of the reason he checks out at signs of intimacy? Diverts gifts towards others? Tends to accept kind gestures only when under an assumed name? Intentionally starves himself in Tristamp? Runs and runs and runs? Is he afraid he won't be able to stop hungering? That allowing himself to want means his want will become insatiable?
I just have to wonder how much of his avoidance of connection is being scared that he will cause more destruction (to them? or to him?) by trying to take far too much into his hands than he ever caused by turning his back and running.
...of course I may just be entirely deranged here sorry.
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So I amplified the audio but my computer is being dumb today so I cant upload it.
Here are some highlights from the last 2:50 of episode 4.
... mean I couldn't catch it and moved on.
I probably missed some and messed up others so take this with a grain of salt or whatever.
Louis:(right after it cuts to Daniel)"I just want to know what happened."
One of them:"What happened...."
Armand:"... understand...understand...."
Louis: Growling!?"you and me me and you...."
......
One of them: "you want to know"
Armand:"... Understand.."
....
Armand:"... Why..."
Louis: "anything with her...........I mean you don't understand.......
......
Broken"
Long period of not understanding anything.
(while Daniel is listening to the tape)
Louis: "FUCK"
Armand: "you have an inability......"
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