#though still not to my satisfaction
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Shifted Ed's basking spot so that all of the lights are on the back half of the lid, and still correctly grouped for optimum exposure. They just barely fit, but temps are spot on, UVB should be as well, and now it's easier to get in there.
I figure the contented pancake means he approves!
#reptiblr#bearded dragon#beardie#ed beardie#my pets#rescue lizard#finally truly getting out of the frenzied panic stage#and starting to enjoy the satisfaction of watching him improve so quickly#and having his set up just right#though it's still a temporary medical one
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every once in awhile i'll start thinking my dad isn't really THAT angry and/or controlling, then he'll just merrily prove me wrong. thanks dad.
#hes not like. the worst. and things have improved but hes still such a shit sometimes.#he told my mom she's not allowed to bake for big groups anymore even though its something shes been doing for a decade and finds a lot of#satisfaction in doing#and he wont let her leave her job even though it makes her fucking miserable#and i realize theres real financial constraints to both of those things but he hasnt even bothered to talk things through with anyone else#it just feels like now that my brother and i are out of the house all his toxic behaviors are concentrated on my mom. which i fucking hate.#and he doesnt treat ME like shit just my mom and brother which just makes this whole situation feel grosser#sorry. just needed to vent.#raspberry rambles#vent post#please dont reblog
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i miss akechi goro so much. maybe even enough to finally finish that ladue chapter 3
#speculation nation#ladue shit#listen hes such an asshole and i NEEEEEEED to channel his voice for a bit again#if this urge persists to tomorrow i'll crack open the fic again. for a little reread.#this will satisfy only approximately 53 people (the total subscribers to that fic)#which ok that's actually a good few people when i think about them as actual people#but it's the least amount of subscriptions i have out of most of my multichapters#EVEN STILL. it's a matter of pride and self-satisfaction.#and god fucking damn i have 18k for chapter 3 already written. i literally just need to close the damn scene up#it's been over a YEAR NOWWWWWWWWWW like holy fucking shit. i need this OUT ALREADYYYYYYYYYYY#ladue chapter 3 i will free you into the abyss. i cannot promise more than chapter 3 but i can promise a chapter 3 at least.#i had a whole plan for the fic but idk if i'll ever be able to write it#considering it's taken like. ... years. between chapters.#it took me 2 years to post chapter 2 and it's been a year now since then. ugh.#see the thing is chapter 3 closes the initial arc of them starting to date. and then there's more stuff.#maybe i'll keep it open just in case the urge strikes me to continue it eventually.#and if it never does. i might make a 4th chapter that outlines the eventual plans i had for the fic. so that people know at least.#ive seen that a Few times for discontinued fics.#....but the thing is i dont want to mark any of my fics discontinued!!!! theyre all my darlings!!! i want to go back to them all eventually#i'll just have to see. if a chapter 4 ends up taking several more years. well. maybe it'll be time to call it there. who fucking knows lol#i'll try to get chapter 3 finished sometime soon though. i really want to have it out already.
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In the interview for the illustrated guide to Twilight Stephanie Meyer, when asked about Alice, said something along the lines of, I wish there was a real person like that, a friend like that, because she was so wonderful there had to be someone like her, and I had to sit down (I was reading it don't @ me) and joke to myself "Well girl what you want is a lesbian bestie with a crush on your heterosexual self gl"
#i rewatched the movies on the train to my moms and i spiraled#i always do when i do it#i start looking at the alice bella tag and looking for obscure twilight fanfic#the twilight renaissance is probably the best thing to happen to me#still haven't found anyone making the jaspe x alice x bella x rosalie x emmet poly ship come to life at least to my satisfaction though#edward and jacob are kissing on the side#and like#I'm sorry to be a weirdo i know it turns into a paternal relationship in canon but where's my au where that doesn't happen#and the two men tmrepressing their homoerotic desires towards other men strike out by their twosome and start dating and twilight canon#diverges like#a lot#i'm talking about edward and carlisle#right after turning edward maybe#carlisle did do that because he was insanely lonely#and edward has repressed homosexual vines tbh#like it is so important to him to be the perfect gentleman and whatever he looked up to his army dad and would have joined the army#but he's just out here playing instruments and shit#he is gay ma'am#he just hasn't accepted it yet#he still thinks he can make it straight if he's just oerfect at it#so yeah i think him and carlisle should have become a duo actually#and i need the werewolves to have gay imprintings and platonic imprintings#like shit it was supposed to be 'you'd become whatever she needs me to be' so just have one of them date a girl like normalä#and they can have a bebe and the wolf can imprint on them and become father of the century#or mother leah could do it too but she's so bi she might just end up with a lady friend#fuck you got me twilight posting#twilight
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Considering Ten is laughing at you, I think you should be a menace about this.
… I’ll consider it.
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something that's been helping me a lot lately with my body image other than getting away from my fucking family is reeeeeallly just leaning into the Gay of it all, bc man, i struggle with MY body, but there are a great many women out there who look like me that i just lose it over how beautiful they are
#part of it has been just making a point to fill up my feeds with devastatingly attractive fat women#what's shifting i think is that there's this visceral reaction i'm having that stands in total opposition to the condemnation#i was brought up with#and that's allowing me to look at myself through new eyes#like i am not something to be loved in spite of my body but to be loved IN it#like everything from my family is ''you're still beautiful and lovable even though'' instead of just ''you're beautiful and lovable''#and yeah yeah i know my purpose is not to be beautiful i simply am BUT#and hear me out#maybe it's the venusian in me but i take great satisfaction in being and especially in FEELING like i am a beautiful thing#and yea ''we are not things'' but YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN#i genuinely don't think this is a patriarchy thing for me so much as i myself am deeply appreciative of and find beauty in so much#and that's a feeling i want to belong to entirely#it's definitely a work in progress
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#had to drop this off before I go back to studying#I love that smug look on Basta's face#once he realized that Zera's got a liking to him he's an absolute tease#don't know if it's canon#but that's my personal headcanon for them#he's still pretty insecure ofc#but also annoying af when he feels safe with her#Zera's still acting tough and dismissive because she doesn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that her legs turn wobbly#when he looks at her like that#I feel you sis#they'll come to a place where they both feel safe and comfortable with how things are#y'know#once they've accepted their feelings and come to terms with the feelings of the other#one day but not today#they can be fun once they've reached that state though#they become roommates at one point and it's an utter delight#maybe I'll share something more about them in the future#someday when I have to clear my brain of useless information to make room for things that are actually important#and not the whole life story of two fictive people#me got mental problems lul#inkheart basta#inkheart#basta x oc#basta#inkheart oc
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cannot so much as begin to articulate how badly i want fic that both takes the soulmates trope seriously and fucks with it until it is not even remotely a romantic story
#sparrowsong#i mean. i COULD maybe articulate it.#but i will get halfway through and get too nervous to post it.#maybe i DON'T want them to get together or even to really be all that obsessed with each other#maybe i DO still want them to have to reckon with the implications of being *soulmates* though#i want it to be Sad and Awful but no not like that#i don't think i'm even correctly describing the thing i want! i don't know!!#i've been *trying* to make this happen and it never works out to my satisfaction >:/#relatedly i am so fucking proud that my most popular fic on ao3 is hanahaki-but-complicated#wow it's really easy to tell when i'm Avoiding A Task huh
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My drafts are swiftly becoming the equivalent to the pool Narcissus looked in
#chatting with the void#there is so much stuff i am writing purely for my own satisfaction#literally no one is going to derive enjoyment from it but me though i will still post some of them
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judah d'arville wakes up from her century-long dirt nap she took as an alibi to keep her first string of revenge murders from getting connected to her, immediately decides she wants revenge on the vampire who turned her as well, and heads back home where it all started. she's hungry from not feeding, she's angry, she's got magic rotting under her skin, she's basically just the concept of Hunger in a tightly controlled sentient meat puppet. and everyone she interacts with is immediately like "whoa you talk like my grandma lmaooooooo hi weird old lady do you need us to tell you how to use a bicycle"
#she gets back home and is like. i am half delirious/dissociating from not feeding in many many many decades.#the store-bought magic my parents bought for me and then sealed away again is very angry about being sealed away#it's been a century since my friends died but no one thinks about it anymore even though for me it was a few months ago#i literally cannot sleep because i have to pretend i'm not a vampire so in the daytime i'm sleepy AND hungry AND furious AND sad#i have a daughter now?????? a teenage monster daughter who has existed for a fortnight at most??#.....and these INFANTS are making fun of my WORDS.#judah d'arville and the horrible no good very bad terrible revenge plot that is not going as she meticulously planned whatsoever#her stupid human vampire worstie is like 'how have i adjusted to living for multiple centuries better than you have'#story: satisfaction#char: judah#i just keep thinking about how it would feel to go to sleep in the regency period and wake up in the jazz age#you could take away all the trauma and magical shit and i would still be pissed as fuck to have to deal with telephones.
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is it depression or is my appetite gone cause I'm preemptively preparing for when Val gives up on any progress & his relationship for real n starts givin me shit about my weight again
#i mean idk if it's gonna happen but#it might#why do i care what he thinks? ain't that the question#n i mean i know it's not even abt my appearance rly cause he gave me shit about it in my source body too n that one's full heroin chic#it's just abt the control#he likes me weak & he likes it when i starve myself for him#thank fuck our sleep meds make me hungry as hell cause otherwise i wouldn't be eatin at all#just need to make sure i have easy food available so we get some actual nutrition too instead of just junk#even the junk's better than nothing though!#it's not a body image issue for me atm but i'm kinda worried it might turn into one#like pllllssss we already had one ana stint we rly don't need another go at that it fucking sucked#n as a bonus doesn't even make us lose any weight cause our metabolism's fucked lmao#so it'd literally just be me eroding our insides for nothing. except like a brief feelin of satisfaction i guess#i can get that in less dangerous ways too tyvm#so i rly rly hope val's up to speed w/ the way it'd get legitimately dangerous for the body him included. n also make him feel like shit#if he wants that type of control there's other shit he could have me do. nothing i'd like but at least w/ less or no physical harm included#kinda wish my life wasn't like 80% harm management at this point but. it is what it is.#at some point it's gonna change. someone else is gonna take over.#all i havta do is keep shit running w/ as little long term damaga as possible til then#can my sedatives fucking do smth my heart's still fucking pounding for no reason uggghhhh#spdrvent#disordered eating cw
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Can’t tell if I actually genuinely think this job interview tomorrow is a bad idea, or I’m just trying to convince myself it is because I don’t want to do it
#it’s an online interview so i think cancelling wouldn’t be too much of a dick move because presumably this person is interviewing all day#but i’ve already told people about it so they’ll be like ‘hey how did the interview go :)’ and i don’t want to say i cancelled it#but. look this place gives me bad vibes#the business isn’t even open yet so i’ll be one of the first staff hired and chances are i’ll be hauling stuff all over the place#and helping set up. and that just sounds annoying and difficult#plus i thought it was just retail but i looked it up and they have a bar??? which means they probably saw my bartending & barista experience#and that’s why they want me. these people are not going to let me sit down and uhhhh i have an arthritic knee. i need to sit down#also the employment satisfaction reviews are really terrible#i’m talking like; people mentioning they were getting abuse from customers and still weren’t allowed to ban them#but comparable businesses would absolutely ban those type of customers on the first instance#at this place they just let them stay though and you have to serve them even if they’re clearly abusive and not in their right mind#i also saw that you get asked complex mathematical questions in the interview and listen. my brain is mostly fog right now#every single one of my prescription meds is clashing with one of the others and making me sleep 10 hours a day#and my brain feels like a tired soup even if i have slept 10 hours#(or 9. or 8. or 7. it’s basically a 24/7 thing)#suffice to say i don’t think i’m going to be doing fucking mathematics#also it’s a teams interview and i hate them. although it is kind of nice to not have to take the train for half an hour just to be rejected#OH THAT’S THE OTHER THING. they open at 8:30 and it takes me half an hour to get there#so if they want me in right at opening i still need to get a bus at like 7:50. but more likely it’ll be way earlier than that#soooooo it’s not actually much better than my previous job where i was getting up at 6 to get a train at 7:10 to get to college at 8#to sit around for an hour or more waiting for class to start. 🧐#i know i live out in the back of the back of beyond and i will therefore have some stupid commutes. but come ON#and if i work the closing shift instead there literally isn’t a bus late enough to facilitate that for me. they stop at 8pm. when will i win#i’m just going to send an email cancelling it even though it’s the middle of the night and then i’m going to withdraw my interest on indeed#and then i’m going to bed#and if anyone asks; they made me do maths in the interview so i burst into tears and started eating the drywall#personal
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am i petty enough not to watch a show i know i would really like just to spite my ex?
#they had tried to get me into it when we were still together#not bc they thought i would like it but just so they could talk to me about it#i didn't really get into it back then#and now i don't want to watch it#bc i know i would like it#and i don't want to give them the satisfaction#of actually liking the show that they had tried to introduce to me#even though they'd never know#but i couldn't really enjoy it with that in my mind#what could actually get me to finally watch it are all the cosplays i see of it#bc they're so fucking good#side note i didn't know there was a character limit on tags lol#anyway we'll se if i'll give in
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Just had a really depressing idea and now I'm about to make everybody's problem.
Picture masturbating for the first time after Nanami's death. It's been a few months and though you're grieving him you're still a young woman with needs.
So you sigh, thinking you're in an ok headspace, it's just masturbating after, it's not like you're with another man. You pull out the trusted little vibrator, throw on some lube, and get to work.
It's going great, pleasure humming into your little bud and folds, but then unbidden, you feel fingers, thick, calloused fingers on your clit and the sound of a Kento's hot breath murmuring in your ears.
"You're so pretty my love, using your toy, but how about I take over from here?"
Your eyes fly open, all pleasantness gone, feeling like you had been hit in the stomach. You try to keep up the pleasant buzz but it's gone, overwhelming sadness filling your body, hot tears leaking out of your eyes as you curl into a ball and sob.
Remembering the warmth of his body and the way his touch made you come alive, his lips on yours, the snug feeling of his cock inside you as you made love.
It was more than the sex, it was the raw emotion behind it, that deep satisfaction that can only come from being with someone you loved deeply.
It was gone. He was gone, buried in the cold earth and you were here, a live woman in the flesh, unable to do anything without him.
All your joy, your pleasures, were gone.
Any semblance of being a normal person ever again died with him, and right now, you wished you were gone too.
#nanami kento x reader#nanami kento#nanami kento fluff#nanami kento smut#nanami smut#nanami x reader#nanami x reader smut#nanami x you#nanami angst#jjk smut#jjk x reader#jjk x reader smut#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader smut#jjk nanami
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I'll take any of these four players on court rn over Coello/Tapia or Lebron/Galan thank you very much
#i wonder#padel#sanz/nieto are my current male dream team#given that my favourite player is momo but I'm still waiting for him to find a suitable partner#not really for the talent sanyo has but for his horrible attitude - yanguas please come back 😭#I doubt that bela will let him go so soon though so I'm still suffering for him#anyway I'm aware that in terms of talent coello/tapia and lebron/galan are far superior than everyone else#but I'm sorry I just don't have fun watching them play I just get bored#of not irritated (especially for lebron/galan attitude on the court - I just can't stand them)#among the 3 big pairs I only save stupa/di nenno because not only they are excellent#but I have a soft spot for di nenno and his story - to me he is really the definition of padel#for the way he plays and lives the sport the hard work and resilience#I have particular opinions about sports and they usually lead me to suffering#because the players I like often are not the top ones who win everything or almost#more than particular I would say masochist 😅#but to me it goes beyond how much one wins so yeah I'll keep suffering and be glad about it#because when sometimes a victory comes the satisfaction is almost exhilarating#and well I believe sports are more than winning matches#my father low key says I'm not a true fan because of this mentality#he has a more 'extreme' opinion which to me is similar to many football fans borderline ultras#I think it's an awful mentality but whatever - it's not that I don't get heated (oh I do A LOT and most of the time)#but I put limits to winning at all costs and with a shady if not blatant disrespectful attitude#but I'm going off topic regarding this post lol - anyway first set to jon/coki hell yeah!!
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plsss would u do sukuna taking care of his pregnant wife? like noticing his robes keep disappearing, only to figure out its his wife. or more dad!kuna 🙏🏾
robes — ryomen sukuna x f!reader
a/n: me👰♀️ ➕ 👹heianera!sukuna
sukuna is a deeply preceptive man.
it’s something he prides himself over, and since he is observant, he quickly notices that his robes start going missing.
in the beginning, he thinks that it’s probably the increased number of bloodied robes because he has been going on a higher number of rampages the past couple of days.
so, he goes to uraume to inquire about why the delivery of his robes has been later than usual.
uraume quickly responds that they have been personally delivering the clean robes to his chambers and ensuring that they are placed where he can clearly see them.
the revelation makes sukuna annoyed because that means that someone has been stealing his robes directly from his chambers.
he is presented with two courses of actions—excluding the option of saving himself the trouble and just killing all the servants: sending uraume to spy on the whole ordeal or investigate it himself.
considering how he has been pretty bored the past couple of days, he decides on the latter. the past few rampages have given a clear warning to the rest of the villages surrounding his castle.
so, with nothing else to do, sukuna takes it upon himself to monitor the main entrance of his chambers to see whether anybody enters the room after uraume places the robes in the room.
so, he situates himself near the room but far away so that they can’t catch him.
he stays there for a good couple of hours, yet he sees no one, not even in the darkness of the night: the supposed prime time for a thief.
perhaps the thief has been made aware of sukuna’s inspection? but that would mean that the robes would still be in the chambers. so, sukuna enters his room in search of his robes, but, to his surprise, he doesn’t find them.
that immediately leads him to concluding that whoever is stealing his robes is someone who has access to the hidden door of his room.
and no one knows about that door except—
“y/n.”
you yelp and slowly turn to your husband. he is standing there, arms crossed, brows furrowed, and an everlasting frown on his face. you have been caught and are in some big trouble.
you don’t falter immediately though. you try to act normal. you smile nervously, “yes, my love? is something bothering you?”
keyword: try.
he repeats your name lowly, and you quickly crumble. you visibly deflate and lower your head as you murmur, “yes…”
he nods in satisfaction before asking the awaited question, “where are my robes?”
your hands rest on your lap, and you fidget with your fingers.
you still can’t figure out what his reaction will be. so far, he is just gathering information. he is giving you nothing to work with, so you have no other option but to comply and just keep answering him.
sighing, you answer him, “my closet.”
he quirks an eyebrow and sits in front of you. his hand is placed on your head, and he raises your head, so you’re looking him in the eyes. it’s something that you have noticed only being done to you.
you had absentmindedly asked your head servant about it, and said servant, uraume, had told you that it’s because he views you as an equal and does not take pleasure in your fear and acting inferior to him.
and in the end, sukuna only does what pleases him. if it doesn’t please him then why do it?
he hums as if in thought before egging you on, “and why are my robes in your closet? in fact—” he smirks, eyes observing your frame, “why are you currently wearing my robes?”
you pull the robes tighter around yourself, and you purse your lips. sukuna wants an answer right now, and while he is enjoying your ‘suffering’, he also wants to know what’s wrong.
if there is anything that he hates then it’s not knowing, especially if it’s something about you, his very pregnant wife.
his hand travels to your jaw, and he grips it lightly.
“so?” he says as he tilts your head to the slide slightly.
“you…have been gone for longer than usual lately, and I have been missing you,” you admit softly as you try your best to maintain eye contact, but you end up looking away.
he is still silent, so you continue laying out your reasoning, “and for some reason, the robes alleviate the pregnancy pain. I couldn’t find any logical or scientific reason, but I think—
—it’s because the robes are filled with your cursed energy, maybe acting as a kind of assurance to the baby that you are beside us even if you aren’t.”
he doesn’t grace you with any reaction nor reply for quite a while, and it makes you think that he is probably thinking about how foolish the entire scenario is.
so, you add hesitantly, “or something like that…”
after a moment, though, he sighs and simply says, “you could’ve just asked me, you foolish woman.”
you blink confused, “and you, my ‘no one takes what’s mine’ husband, would’ve allowed that?”
“you, idiot, are mine, so my belongings are yours anyway,” he states, and his hands rest on your stomach, “this is mine too, so you have to take good care of it.”
a smile takes over your face, and you nod happily, “of course, I will!”
you pause for a second, and it has sukuna confused.
you frown and you point your finger at him while reprimanding him, “and don’t call me an idiot, mister! I am your wife, and I am blessed with a good name.”
a pinch is delivered to your butt which makes you shriek. you jump away from your husband and start rubbing the spot in attempt to soothe it.
sukuna smiles wickedly before suggesting, “how about I help you with that?”
“no! keep your hands off of me, you brute!”
he chuckles, and it echoes throughout the room. it’s kind of creepy. you always said that you wanted to add more furniture to avoid that situation.
you start thinking about the new design for the room when your husband speaks up, “and regarding my absence the past few of days.”
you turn your head to him, and he continues, “I will be putting my plans on pause for a while, so you don’t have to resort to the robes for the time.”
he turns his back to you before announcing, “I am expecting you at dinner and later in my chamber. is that clear?”
you feel giddiness fill you up, and you reply enthusiastically, “yes, my king!”
“good,” he smirks.
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