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wheretwofacesmeet · 1 year

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That Gleam In Your Eyes

" This is not real. "

Of course, that much was obvious.

They'd sunk into sleep , head resting on the books they'd been gifted by their beloved parents. Then, This happened again.

" You may think that," replied the other elf.

The Dream Elf; or, more accurately, The Cognitive Simulation.

" Dreams are-"

" a product of brainstem activation during rapid -eye movement sleep,and stimulation of the limbic system."

He rolled his bright gold-eyes.

He didn't have the same interest in studying as they did.

" This might be-"

" Memory reprocessing? Your subconscious exercising its imagination? "

"LET ME THINK!!"

The Dream Elf jumped, wings stirring behind him.

They breathed heavily, startled by their own outburst. This wasn't like them.

But they'd spent one night too many, stuck in the same reoccurring dream that did not come from anything they'd actually seen or experienced.

Their face lit up. " Stress! Too much stress from the everyday life of a hard-working student."

Pearlescent teeth flashed in a charming cat's-grin.

" I am as real as YOU are, Kazi."

Kazi groaned.

" No. No. No. You are an illusion."

" Doesn't this FEEL real, to you?"

He stood up, leaving them sitting down on the stone steps of the Spire.

He gestured at the pink clouds below, the dawn sky above, the Storm Spire itself.

He spread wide his thistle-purple wings.

The sun began to rise, and golden light illuminated him.

They inhaled sharply, eyes widening behind their glasses.

He was tall, exceeding six feet in height .

Thick, shoulder-length hair. They'd thought it was blue, but it was actually bluish-white.

His skin was lavender blue, not a shade real Skywing Elves possessed.

Raisin -purple horns, their shape unfamiliar.

Not Moonshadow, Sunfire, or any other that they'd seen in real life or in books.

The horns swept jaggedly backward, gold gilding each one's three points.

He was fair-faced, well-shaped ( neither too slender nor too muscular), and handsomely arrayed in evening and dawn shades of gray,purple and blue.

He was a Skywing Elf, correct?

They'd studied the six races thoroughly enough to know what one looked like. Even if their excellent memory was failing them in their unconscious state, those rare elven wings were unmistakable.

But, so much of what they saw was wrong.

The coloration of his skin, his hair, his wings.

The shades of his clothing, accurately streamlined and backless though it was.

The strange horns.

And, although he should bear Skywing markings...

Kazi stood up for the first time in these not-dreams.

They walked over to the other elf.

They barely stopped themself, from reaching out and touching his forearm.

" This is..."

His face was clear of any markings .

His body, however, was covered in many many constellations of innumerable white spots. Kazi looked closer.

His cool breath washed over their cheek.

His chest gently swelled and sank.

They leaned in as far as they could, trying to get a better look at a fascinating phenomenon.

The Skywing's spots appeared to twinkle and shine, almost imperceptibly...

" Ahem."

Not that he was really bothered by the student's too-close proximity.

They could tell, seeing the corners of his mouth twitch upwards.

The gleam in his entrancing eyes.

Kazi's cheeks, ironically, burned. They hastily stepped backwards, tripping over their own feet. Her Radiance would've laughed till she was in tears.

Was there no stone support behind them?

Was their body hanging back in empty air...?

" KAZI!!"

The air whooshed past them, and the Spire rose higher and higher into those rosy-colored fluffy clouds.

They'd had no idea, what falling to meet the ground and the afterlife would feel like.

Books could describe it, but nothing they'd read was quite like this.

Like flying, but rapidly downward.

Like the wind was vengeful, trying to rip off their hair and skin and clothes.

It snatched their glasses, and the world blurred even more than it already had.

Kazi hoped, more than ever ,that this was truly no more than a bizarre repeating dream...

They hit not the ground, but his strong arms.

They rose comfortably up and up, up until he got back to where the two of them had been.

Kazi breathed in panicked pants.

" THAT-I almost- I could have-"

" Do you believe me now?"

" NOT THE TIME!"

He had something in his hand. They grabbed it-yes, it was indeed their precious glasses.

The world came back into focus.

" Alright, I have questions."

" I have answers, Emerald Eyes."

" Give them then, uh...Dreamy? No no, that is not what I meant...I meant, um.."

Their cheeks heated up again. His rich laughter filled their ears .

" Just tell me what this is."

" I do not know exactly. I think, our bodies stay behind, but our souls travel here."

" Why?"

" I don't know. "

" Do you know why your dream-self appears this way? "

They gestured to everything .

" Your eyes are accurate. But not the horns. Not the color or length of your hair. Not your purple-feathered wings or lavender blue- skin. And not the bright freckles."

" It looks wrong? "

His wings drooped. " You think I am odd-looking? Hideous?'"

His face fell as far as Kazi just had.

" Oh no, I do not mean that! I am so sorry, I'm never this bad at language, I meant-"

" Ahahahaha! "

He laughed once more, highly amused by his act. They glared at him.

" My apologies,darling. You are very entertaining."

" I'm not staying here to be ridiculed."

He grabbed their arm ,as they turned to walk off to wherever else they could.

" No,listen. Please. Don't go away. I like you."

" What about me, do you like? We don't even know each other!"

" You live in Lux Aurea. Your birthday is today, the tenth of February.

You are studying language,translation and interpretation. You like hard work, studying, and learning new languages, and meeting new people. You dislike distractions, stress, oversleeping and war."

They smiled shyly.

" I thought you found all my talking tedious. "

" Your voice and your words, keep my attention very well. They are captivating. "

He leaned in close, grinning.

" I like your hair, too. It's beautiful."

" I was going to the say the same about your,um, twinkly freckles?"

They chuckled together.

They smiled at one another. The student's heart beat faster for some reason.

" You know all this about me...but, I do not know anything about you. Not even your name."

" Just call me Starwing..."

He took their face gently in his hands.

He hesitated.

" We should meet in the waking world, first," Kazi said to him. This was not exactly what they wanted at that moment; but it was the right way to go about this.

" I'll find you," promised the Sunfire to the Skywing.

Then they woke up.

The table and books were blurred. Kazi felt the ghosts of cool fingertips on their cheeks.

They wished they felt the ghost of a kiss.

They felt around for their glasses. These weren't on the table, but on the floor.

First, breakfast. After that, research for these out-of-body experiences.

They thought of the sun on his horns, and the gleam of his gold eyes.

...Maybe , research first.

#the dragon prince #tdp fanfic #tdp kazi #starwing #tdp elves #sunfire elf #storm spire #dreams #lux aurea #skywing elf

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knockemdeadpestcontrol · 5 months

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burkedecorshop · 2 years

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snowshinobi · 6 years

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LIGHTLY SALTED

#aki's art #MORE HUNGER GAMES SIMULATOR SHENANIGANS WITH MY BUDDY BRO #horsesrcool22 #HELL YEAH #rubble #rebecca #sean #ster #thisla #thistle #thomas #towe #tammy #hunger games simulator

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thistle-and-thorn · 8 months

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me and @attonitos-gloria need answers

#polls #asioaf #HotD #succession #the bear #Tyrion Lannister #carmy the bear #Kendall Roy #Cersei Lannister #Rhaenyra Targaryen #hamlet #Shakespeare #thistle simulations

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ammonitetestpatterns · 3 years

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wolf with an eye for the ponies, also known as horse girl swag tea

two tablespoons oat straw, three tablespoons yohimbe (because all girls, not only those predisposed to the saddle, like to have fun), one teaspoon wild carrot root, milk thistle, and red clover blossom taken seriously as individual planck units, four sprinklings of crushed heath bar to simulate well trodden soils, for the country must make do too, and:

“i hate myself because it shows how i’m a fool for your rodeo” hummed while stirring to the rhythmic undertow of the steep that sucks only the air’s metastatic disturbances that dare to be spoken against pitch into its vortex, always avoiding syncopation like a petticoat’s turns rapidly crocheted by westerlies, and knowing how bad it is. sightseeing familiar faces of the misery dock towards the king’s highway, gripping, as with loupen spheres harmonized celestially, the horseshoe halos that lasso round release in “i want to have you,” jenny agutter drawing through snare breaks scattered and lost in the dust clouds that end up as sedimentary rock formations for the listener’s common reception unto memory, the long look of longing in extra time. not everyone can be hot in the stable, let alone the races that taciturn men, wickered from meridians in grass blades of lack, always seem to be chasing.

#text #exercise resulting from conjecture on which herbs horse girls would collectively enjoy

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pollyanna-nana · 1 month

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Thistle simulation/resource management game buff hc my beloved. Games I think he’d play:

Minecraft (obviously)

Animal Crossing

Slime Rancher

The Sims

Viva Piñata (teehee)

Stardew Valley

I think he’d play them like a hyper-efficient insane hermit and get All The Things super quickly. Like me lol

#polly speaks #dungeon meshi #dunmeshi #delicious in dungeon #thistle dungeon meshi #thistle posting #dungeon meta #something something a world where the characters he loves will never die no matter how long he plays something

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decadoc · 4 years

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@ripharm asked: ' Thistle, did you approve Mayer's room extension? Closure's here telling me that Mayer's taken up another new Operator's room for her Meeboos. ' He scratched the back of his head. If that was true, it was going to be hell for her out of there. It's bad enough to dismantle 40 of them, but she could probably fill that room with another hundred.

“Wh—No I didn’t.” This was news to the shorter half. They had been spending most of the day out with a select group of operators collecting resources

“Well.... This is going to be a nightmare to fix.... “ Dismantling each and everyone will likely waste more time and resources necessary. Perhaps they’ll have to confiscate the Meeboos and use them for upcoming simulations.

“......Do you want me to handle it?”

#ripharm #♢ IC || The Doctor is in #♢ Verse || Dissociation #[thistle vc: i SWEAR IT WASNT ME WHATEVER IT WAS

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nitewrighter · 5 years

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"_____, what did we learn today?" moments for the fankids?

Genji: Rei, what did we learn today?

Rei: ...shuriken are for outside and only on the practice range.

Genji: *prying a shuriken out of the wall* Good.

----

Sombra: Martina, what did we learn today?

Marti: While the Omnic Crisis forced the formation of alternative structures to capitalism, the law still favors the rich over the poor and the rich continue their consumption of the government seeing as they have consumed nearly every other resource. The collapse of Overwatch only further intensifies this, seeing a rise in private security and military contractors such as Vishkar and Helix, both of which have been infiltrated by Talon and serve an agenda that centers more around maximizing profit than actually providing lasting structures for security.

Sombra: Good. Here’s a cookie and your bedtime is never---

Widowmaker: She still has a bedtime.

----

Pharah: What did we learn today, boys?

Samir: *sprawled across the couch* I learned love is an illusion. It’s only chemicals in our brains conspiring towards our self destruction.

Pharah: Uh...

Rajeev: I learned Samir’s a weirdo who’s bad at talking to girls. And boys. And anyone he likes.

Symmetra: *weary sigh*

----

Hanzo: What did we learn today, Jaime?

Jaime: Don’t get caught.

McCree: Yes.

Hanzo: No.

----

Moira: *scrolling through the Mnemosyne feed on Aedan’s amnio-tank* What did you learn today, a thaisce?

Computer: *warbling and overheating* To lose one parent, Mr. Worthing, may be regarded a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness-ness-ness-ness--*warbling* Let the things be illusions or not, after all I would then also be an illusion, and thus they are always like me.--like me--like me--like me-- *warbling* Sonchus Oleraceus. Common name: Common Sow Thistle of the Family Asteraceae. A widespread invasive species throughout Eurasia and the Americas-Americas-Americas--*warbling*

Moira: *patting Aedan’s amnio-tank* Clever boy.

----

Maximilien: *glancing up from his cards* What did we learn today, ma reinette?

Faustine: *looking at her own hand* A five-card-Charlie occurs roughly once every 50 hands. If the player is crossing his arms behind his seat, that means he’s counting and the table’s gone cold. If he’s counting I have to call Claudio and Leon to take him out back and teach him that that’s not how we play here. It takes 9 pounds of pressure to break a nose and roughly 8 pounds of pressure to rip off an ear.

Maximilien: And good patrons of the casino want to keep their ears, don’t they, ma reinette?

Faustine: Mm-hmm.

---

Doomfist: What have we learned today?

Seye: *planking on a pommel horse* Sun Tzu chapter two section 18: “If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

Doomfist: Good.

Seye: *arms shaking* Can I come down now?

Doomfist: hmmm... 10 more minutes.

----

Reaper: So... learn anything new today?

Andrea: Current battle simulations indicate we have a 63.2% probability of securing Watchpoint Gibraltar from the enemy with a 70% casualty rate among our own forces.

Reaper: Which means...?

Andrea: ...

Reaper: A 70% casualty rate is...?

Andrea: ...undesirable?

Reaper: Good. Good.

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askthenewhopespeak · 6 years

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1 kn0w 1 have been absent these past few days... other 1ssues requ1red my attent10n.

H0wever, th1s game 1s n0t 0ver, and y0u w1ll be given the codes from the 14th 0f 0ct0ber t0 t0day, the 18th, so 5 clues. Y0u have unt1l the standard t1me l1m1t, 9:30 AM 0n the 19th.

The codes:

14-10-2018: Rivals, Comics, 2016

15-10-2018: Politician (?), Toad, Hands

16-10-2018: Wives, Truckers, Thistle

17-10-2018: Speed, Directions, Child

and, f1nally, a r1ddle to cap th1ngs 0ff:

18-10-2018: You are attempting to shut down an artificial intelligence, however, the only way to do so is to beat it at a game it simulates for you. The simulation sets you floating in 25 feet of water. You must have the simulation’s avatar swim between three different levers that lower the water by one foot, three feet, or four feet, and the AI can automatically use these levers. Nobody can skip a turn, and whoever manages to reduce the water level to exactly zero will win. How do you win?

#ai chiaki #october arg

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lippalooro · 2 years

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Colin mcrae rally 04 pc download full free.Colin Mcrae Rally 04 Download

Colin mcrae rally 04 pc download full free.Colin McRae Rally 04

Dec 26, · Colin McRae Rally 04 Game – Overview – Free Download – PC – Compressed – Specs – Screenshots – RIP Type of game: Racing PC Release Date: April 2, Developer/Publishers: Codemasters Colin McRae Rally 04 ( MB) is a racing video game. Developed and published by Codemasters. Colin McRae Rally 04 is, without a doubt, the best rally game available on the PC - but it's a lonely business, with just your co-driver for company. But, while the main thrust of the game might be all about shaving seconds off your stage times, there's a multiplayer component as well, and this demo enables you to fire up a game on a LAN or 6/10(3).

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Developer Codemasters Software Company Limited. Otherwise, you can expect to race through the usual assortment of entire championships, rallies and individual stages in the same eight countries as before. However, we find that it's a game that you binge on rather than establish a long-term relationship with.

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Once upon a time there was a boy called Colin who liked cars. He liked them so much that when he grew up he drove them at high speed under strict competition conditions. Perhaps driven by rage at his unfortunate choice of name, he drove so fast that he was crowned Champion of the World. It didn't seem to make him happy though, as he permanently sported the countenance of a bulldog licking piss off a thistle.

One day, a man from Codemasters gave him some money in return for using his name on a game. He might not have been entirely sure what that entailed, but Colin accepted it gratefully nevertheless. Some witnesses even report a semblance of a colin mcrae rally 04 pc download full free.

Five years on, Colin is still taking the money - rumoured to be up to a pound a copy - and the McRae Rally series has exceeded all expectations, consistently leaving its opponents in a cloud of and other cliches. And for what? A game that simulates driving round rural backwaters in a series of vulgarly decorated overpowered cars. Where's the fun in that? The fun, of course, is in the ferocious challenge that it presents, clinging to variety of road surfaces in a frenzied attempt to shave crucial seconds off your time.

Weaving through the backmarkers in a Grand Prix game or nudging opponents off the road in Generic Racer 2' may have its place, but in the hardcore world of professional rally driving, it's all about man, machine and glorious isolation.

Except, of course, for the bloke barking in your ear colin mcrae rally 04 pc download full free five seconds. McRae's name may adorn the box, but in practical terms it's all about the faceless drone sat next to you, the man with the map. For years, I that securely upholstered seat was occupied by Nicky Grist, iwhose nasal whine has infiltrated the minds of a generation of gamers. Spread the word, the Welshman is no more.

Kicked to the kerb by McRae, in comes the splendidly-named Derek Ringer, his clipped Caledonian intonation providing a refreshing change after years of Grist. Ringer was actually McRae's original co-driver back in the day. The pair are now reunited and it feels so good that the old in-game magic has been rekindled. And it's worth listening to what Ringer says, as failure to follow the pace notes will rapidly see you wrapped round a tree like so much yellow ribbon. To him his dues, the boy certainly knows his stuff, unerringly warning of such forthcoming жмите as trees, rocks and discarded Monster Munch packets.

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Mental strength is required, and while I managed to focus my thoughts on fashioning abstract observations for this review and wondering what's for teafear for those of weaker mind. Even for the sound of thinking, there are times when you become acutely aware of the futility of the activity - driving a pretend car round a pretend track for colin mcrae rally 04 pc download full free on end - and it does briefly cross your mind that it might be a bit dull.

When this happens, the best remedy is to bang the camera into cockpit view, at which point your stomach lurches like you're strapped into Alton Towers' finest.

Every bump in the road becomes a perilous obstacle, and if you haven't much gaming experience, you could find yourself committing the cardinal sin of lurching around in your seat. As for the bumper-cam view, bluetooth file transfer download pc free may be favoured by the purists, but there's the nagging thought that if you're going to choose a nice-looking car, you might as well be able to see it. And there are plenty of shiny cars to drool over.

McRae 3 was rightly criticised due to the fact that to compete in a championship, you had to drive the Ford Focus, Colin's employer at the time. Now freed from his contract or indeed any contractthere's an open field to choose from, with championships up for grabs in both the four-wheel and two-wheel drive categories. In the traditional fashion, success unlocks further vehicles, and there's enough vehicular titillation to whip the average Fast Car reader into an automotive frenzy.

As well as an array of contemporary rally colin mcrae rally 04 pc download full free, there are also a slew of classic '80s motors to unveil, many of which were withdrawn from active service due to the inordinate number of fatalities. It's a grim statistic, but they're fully drivable here, with the added bonus of being unlikely to cause decapitation. A few comedy' vehicles have also Так win 7 recovery disk download free считаю thrown into the mix, such as perennial vegan-mobile the Colin mcrae rally 04 pc download full free 2CV, and the favoured mode of transport for wolf-whistling Sun readers, the white Transit van facts courtesy of Pigeonholes-R-Us.

Neither is particularly suitable for off-road action, but they do provide a brief respite from the extremely dry nature of the game. However, you don't buy a Colin McRae game for laughs - just look at his face - and fans will be pleased to learn that it's still a deadly serious business.

As for new stuff, the game is somewhat limited by the genre, as the developers don't really have the option to strap some rocket launcher to the bonnet. There is an online element, but obviously at the time of writing it wasn't up and colin mcrae rally 04 pc download full free.

We'll be taking a look as soon as the game goes on sale. Otherwise, it's a case of evolution not revolution, and with Rally 3 released less than a year ago, many of the subtleties will be lost to the untrained eye. Much of the tweaking has gone into the handling, with the car now reacting to the road surface more realistically, rather than behaving as an amorphous blob.

Of course, the handling is what has always elevated the series above the mire, and it's as exquisite as ever here, with the numerous road surfaces reacting accordingly with your choice of tyre and set-up. As for under the bonnet shenanigans, it's kept to a minimum - even the most mechanically inept buffoon should be able to get by. Each championship rally is preceded by a Shakedown, whereby жмите get to hammer the car round a section of track in order to see if the handling is to your liking.

You can then tamper with various aspects of the car's set up, but it's a slippery slope to clamber on to. Once you start tweaking, there's always a sense of nameless dread that you've set something up wrong, or that a slightly different alignment would make a difference. It's almost too much to bear, and the safest option is probably to stick with the default settings. As the rules of rallying stipulate, repairs can be carried out on your car after every other stage, so it's a good idea not to utterly destroy it from the off as you'll find yourself limping round in disgrace later on.

That said, it's colin mcrae rally 04 pc download full free giving it at least one good thrashing simply to see the damage model in full glorious effect.

Shattered glass, crumpled bodywork and wobbly wheels are all in full effect, with black smoke billowing from the crippled engine. And our favourite bit? The moment when the bonnet dislodges itself from its moorings and simply flies over your head -that makes us feel giddy. Of course much of this will be familiar to owners of the previous incarnation, and with graphical advancements slowly reaching something of a plateau, the layman would struggle to tell the two games apart.

In fact Colin McRae 2 still looks passable on a decent machine. The original game might look a bit shabby were we to dig it out, but essentially, the core gameplay experience' remains identical over half a decade on.

That's what fans of the series clearly want though, and 04 delivers more of the same in reasonably spectacular style.

With a shitload of tracks and cars there's almost unlimited playtime to be had, and it's a game that you could dip into indefinitely. However, we find that it's a game that you binge on rather than establish a long-term relationship with. The same happened with McRae 3, leading to a week of wide-eyed nausea before being tossed into the cupboard of doom.

The cycle was repeated when 04 came out on console, leading to many a late night in front of the telly. And now Colin has returned to stalk the PC, causing many fevered hours of staring into the middle distance while stabbing at the keyboard or turning the wheel. Ultimately, if you've played any of the previous McRae Rally games, you'll know exactly what you're getting here: intense rally action that pisses all over the rest from an extremely great height.

Picture the scene - a beautiful evergreen forest surrounds you, the tall trees reaching majestically into the sky. A dusty track leads between the trees and you listen with delight to the sounds of the woodland around you. But then the silence is shattered by the sound of a tuned car engine spitting decidedly non-environmentally-safe flames.

Yes, this адрес one for nature lovers, but the petrol-head extravaganza that is Colin McRae Rally He might not be doing too well in the WRC, but the game named after him goes from strength to strength and this, its fourth outing, is the best so far. The Citroen Xsara is the only car you can drive, but it's good enough for Sebastian Loeb. He's won the Swedish rally with the Citroen, putting him and the manufacturer at the forefront of the WRC standings - so no blaming your poor driving skills on the car You can take full control over all car settings, with everything from suspension stiffness to gearing being adjustable.

Of course, if you can't tell your suspension arm from your elbow, you can opt for the safe option of default settings. The key, as with all rally driving games, is to master the art of sideways driving. Rally 04 copes with it superbly, letting you oversteer all the way to the finishing line.

Like many other activities such as jogging, revising for exams and hand-to-gland combat, it's debatable whether racing games are best enjoyed alone or with others. Some go for the crowded tracks and pristine technology of F1. Others prefer to colin mcrae rally 04 pc download full free in with colin mcrae rally 04 pc download full free rally drivers, where it's the pure thrill of you against the track and the clock. And on PC or console, there's been none better at recreating the mud-caked world of rally driving than the Colin McRae Rally series.

With its legendary handling and brilliantly visualised real-life courses and cars, Colin McRae has been nigh on untouchable in its field for over five years. If you've sampled the previous bouts of mud wrestling featuring cuddly Colin, no doubt you're keen to know what's new in this fourth incarnation. And the first thing any veteran will notice is that you're no longer restricted to driving in McRae's long-cherished Ford Focus, as his contract with Ford has expired.

Now, you can rev up in several cars right from the off. As you start whipping the various courses and championships, you'll open up more of the 23 officially licensed cars, taking in models in the four-wheel and two-wheel drive categories, as well as some of the now banned Group B s road monsters and a few other bonus models.

We can also reveal that the number of different tyre types is up from last year's ten to a total of 19, with 34 different road surfaces to contend colin mcrae rally 04 pc download full free too. If you're an old hand at Rally, once out on the road you'll start to notice that not only is the handling even more gruellingly realistic and colin mcrae rally 04 pc download full free see boxout overleafbut things also look more slick and detailed.

Arguably, there's no better way to show off a top-end graphics card than with a good racing game. Watching someone cane a Subaru round the hills of West Wales on CM04 with the resolution /699.txt up supports this more than ever. Stupendous lighting effects mearr every panel, pane and decal приведенная ссылка your gleaming motor reflects - until you reach the finish line, by which time the whole thing will doubtless be plastered in mud.

The sun gleams on the black ice, the trees, thick with vegetation, sway gently with the wind. Even if it is difficult to take it in as you gun down a straight at mph. On top of this, if you're one of those to whom cars are like a kind of pornography, a special mode lets you ogle the painstakingly modelled vehicles from practically every angle, opening the doors and peering up the exhaust pipe.

And while there can be little as excruciating as watching a novice prang his way round a course, unable to resist taking every tree and wall head-on, the superb internet security windows 7 download free modelling makes such a sight a spectacle rather than a chore. Windscreens crack then shatter, bumpers, panels, doors and even wheels get knackered and start falling off. Given a sufficient level of ineptitude, what crosses the finish line can bear as much resemblance to the polished showroom model as Jo Brand does to Gwyneth Paltrow.

Totally trash your motor in the full championship mode, however, and as in real life, you only get the chance for an overhaul every two races. Unsurprisingly, given the nature of rally, there's been no multiplayer modes in previous games to speak of. That's all set to change with CM04 though, as a bunch of online and LAN options now means up to eight players can try and out-rev each other through stages or entire rallies.

Never fear, as opposing drivers will appear as ghost cars, though how our Colin would react to a spectral Petter Solberg overtaking him on a tight bend is anyone's guess.

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