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boxwinebaddie · 3 months

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How does Sheila and Gerald feel about Raven/Crimson Dawn

definitely not....Good things.

at least...

...not at first.

i mean, for one, isaac broflovski literally worships every beautiful cinnamon scented little breath raven makes out of that smirking, knee-jerking, puffed out, pierced up, pretty boy mouth of his and in turn, worships every mismatched sock worn, worn-out blood moon crimson dawn red doc marten-ador(n)ed step that his beloved raven of crimson dawn takes on planet earth. his world; we just live in it ofc.

according to raven superfan ike, who...should he hear so much as a *jingle* from the silver moon charms hanging from the back of said ravenstan signature doc martens or even the faintest little wind chime of emo boy earrings twinklin musically as another bitter breeze rolls by, ike will come a'running...in a pair of red doc martens.

...except his aren't broken in from nonstop marathon running and matrix dodging hoards of insane dawn spawn/tryin to get to taco bell in between sets ( even tho he knos he's not allowed to do that )

so, needless to say, ike is in...terrible foot pain.

but he is Also IN a brand new crimson dawn t-shirt.

signed by all the boys, and ofc, #baeven.

whose obnoxious, sharpied star-A signature can be seen from space.

care to comment, astrophysics major craig? he's interning @ nasa :)

anyways, that of course, was bad enough. because while ike is a free agent and basically able to do whatever he wants on account of his parent's obsession w/ helicopter parenting and suicide-watching kyle...wearin all black, sulking around and blaring satanic punk rock music at 3am on a school night...was def starting to tip the scales.

...but again, *sheila vc* boys will be boys, she had her own little rebellious streak back in jersey as swoww tittybang; it'd pass.

...however, it did Naught pass! and neither is super genius, giga iq ike because he started SKIPPING SCHOOL bc education systems are vegetation systems and institutions of oppression and depression.

and yet, cuttin class & saying fuck school was still not what grounded ike. not wearing all black, not blasting crimson dawn, not blowing off school or bleaching his hair...no, the straw that broke the camel's back, the thing that finally had good son ike overtake kyle for the first time in nearly 17 years and steal the title of bad son

...was when ike...STUCK A SAFETY PIN THRU HIS LIP.

SO HE COULD LOOK LIKE!!!!

RAVEN!

OF!

CRIMSON!

DAWN!!!!!!!!!!!!

oooooooooOOOOOOOF! and guess when ike did it?

right when kyle and stan walked through the broflovski front doors. and i bet you anything, ravenstan was in the LEAST pc outfit ever. best case scenario, he was in a crimson dawn shirt, a slightly less slutty pair of the signature raven tiny vegan leather hooker prostitute pants for nasty boys that need jesus and an open black puffer jacket...worst case scenario he was wearing...sigh

the support rock, fuck a rockstar tank top ;)...fml.

either way, he is def wearing a fishnet undershirt so you can see all his crazy tattoos, every obscene emo boy piercing is on his face, his nails are chipped/pitch black, his eyeliner in smudged, all his luggage is coffin shaped with 666 patched all over it and...his hair is BLUE.

so uh...not looking super kosher or ready for temple. HELPPPPP.

yeeeah, sheila is not super stoked on him, especially as she's mopping up ike's lip blood with a rag...oh my god, stan is So HORRIFIED. like not only am in my hometown which i haven't been to since i killed my sister and disappeared, i am also in my best friend's old house, speaking to my best friend's mom who doesn't know i'm her son's dead super best friend and just thinks i'm an obnoxious celebrity who ruined both her kids lives and HATES ME shdlkshds...i'm sorry, bb.

she does say "you know, sweetie, you really do have a beautiful voice and a Very handsome face. it's just a shame you've got schmutz all over your eyes and turned your head into a pin cushion! oy vey, what would ya mother say, young man?" *finger waggin, hand on hip*

ravenstan, half laughing half crying, "not much" :')

anyways, because of the mishap with the hotel rooms, all of the south parkian rm college students are putting up a member of cd or another...celebrity. ( fun fact, call girl is also coming xx more on that )

and jersey got super lucky and pulled raven's name out of his hat.

anyways, them living together and sleeping in the same room, the tension is so crazy especially since...

listen.

don't kill me.

but you know how i am. and the boys were too happy when they were secretly dating ( which is the arc right before this ) so uh...now they are Not dating...and also very unhappy. haha! fun! slay! <3

so uhhhh...spending that much time in close quarters! whew!

also, for context purposes, kyle, at this point, knows raven is his stan.

nOT THAT IT MATTERS BC KYLE IS MAD AT HIM!!!!!!!

but, that’s not important rn, what's important rn, is stan and kyle’s parents who...ya, starting with sheila, was not team raven when he showed up but...kyle's secret sweetness is also hers. and she did care a lot about stan when he was 'alive', so sheila does warm up to raven slowly but surely. mostly bc he is...ofc, an angel.

he stopped all his shows just so he could make ike's birthday the best ever and play at his winter formal in their nowhere town as like, one of the most famous people in the world currently. despite seeming like a bad influence, he actually is a very good influence on ike from that point forward, makes him refocus on his studies and says it is punk rock to learn and go to school ( it does make him very introspective about school since, bc he was, yknow, dead, he couldn't go to traditional school and it is the point of the plot where rae thinks a lot abt...going to school/wishing he could go to school )

ravenstan is also really polite to everyone and rizzes sheila in spanish a lot haha. he is not that good at doing chores as a disaster person, but he always offers to do the dishes and help sheila cook. mrs. broflovski calling jersey over like "look, bubbeleh! i put oreb in your special apron...since you never wear it >.>" ft. stan winking at kyle in the skull and cross bones standana in the blue star of david apron that matches his blue beautiful blue ass eyes and sticky-uppy, tousled hair with the fkn schmatta slung over his shoulder...

*jersey inner monologue* killmekillmeKILLMEKIIIIILLLLMEEE

btw, sheila's lil nickname for stan is raven in hebrew...she is also slowly teaching him hebrew...he's not that good at it but he's so cute.

also speaking of cooking n dinner — dinner specifically. i think they are having a special hannukah gathering/some kind of pre-bday dinner for ike & stan's really nervous...what's new…and he wants to impress the broflovskis and not look like an emo rockstar dirt bag,

so when dinner starts and everyone's sitting down, stan's running a little late and kyle rolls his eyes like, ofc, he's fucking late, that fucking asshole...but then stan has his little she's all that moment coming down the staircase all slow and shy and tentative...

...and he's wearing the ravesey hate suit, all pressed ( or idk he tried sheila taught him how to use the iron but stan x chores is a notp ) all buttoned up ( the tie is in knot tho, he does not know how to tie a tie ) his hair is a fluffy and brushed ( wow! stan showered! clap pls! ) NONE OF HIS PIERCINGS ARE IN, none of the like 9 earrings, no eyebrow piercing, none of the nose piercings, NOT EVEN THE LIP PIERCING, WOW, no eye makeup, and awkwardly shuffles into his seat across from kyle, adhd boy fiddling w/ the buttons on the sleeve of his dress shirt and is like "i'm sorry, i'm late!"

and everyone is just STARING AT HIM BC OH MY GOD, STANLEY MARSH AKA RAVEN LOOKS SOOOO GOOD, OH MY GOD!!!! and sheila ofc is like oH MY GOODNESS!! YOU LOOK SO HANDSOME OREV!!! EVERYONE DOESNT HE LOOK DARLING!!!! DONTCHA THINK HE LOOKS PERFECT, BUBBLA?! *stares at ky expectantly*

and he, does, ofc, as always, look perfect to kyle, but rem(inescent) of the ravesey hate, while stan does look put together, stan is meant to look like he's falling apart and messy and sloppy, bc that's his authentic self and that's how he's comfortable...and that's how kyle likes him, very much of course...i'd say love, but...he can't lmao! so kyle just says "yeah, maybe if his tie was tied right." >.> *eyeroll*

prompting a sheila eyeroll bc ffs kyle, stop being RUDE to our guest.

or as sheila calls him, their “chosuve gest" <3 or very important guest *sheila vc* oh, and you too, ike! ( smh its his birthday dinner :/ ) and kyle's mom is like "okay, sit down!! go eat!!! don't be shy!!!" gesturing to all this table of food and all the in laws, like both sets of grand parents, aunts, uncles, zayde and...bubbe?

am i gonna revive cleo?

...but interestingly enough, stan, who can eat enough for an entire super bowl stadium, both teams, audience members n staff included, is not eating so sheila is like *squints* "do you not like dinner, orev?"

and stan is like 'AhaHAHahAHHAha!!! no, no!!! it looks--wow! everything looks really delicious! i was just...admiring it! and this silverwear, it's really...w-wowza! the ingraving is very—“

then jersey cuts him off, harsh, deadpan like:

"ma, raven's...Vegan...remember?"

and sheila immediately pales like "oh! OH! i'm so sorry! we haven't had a vegetarian type here since s--"

ALMOST SAYS THE S WORD!!! which is FORBIDDEN IN THE BROFLOVSKI HOUSE!!! which is good, thank god, bc no one can find out raven is stan...and there's this picture on the wall behind sheila's head of stan and kyle on the night before stan disappeared in their sadie hawkins dance outfits, doing awkward prom poses AAA.

but sheila deflects hard like "here, honey! have some salad!" but i think the dressing is like, ceaser or something and stan still can't eat it oh my god and she's freaking out, trying to get up from the table to rapid fire cook something for stan and he's like "NONONONO!!! it's okay, i'm really not that hungry! it's fine, it's, uh--i can have these!" and takes an apple form the center of the apple — AND ITS THE GODDAMN CENTERPIECE OH MY GOD, so kyle is sniiiiickering.

but stan doesn't even have time to snicker back, bc they're all focused on stan not eating, so they're not noticing kyle just pushing all his stew and stuff around the plate, trying to artfully rearrange it so it looks like he's really digging in...everyone is fooled.

not stan tho...stan is really worried, staring hard and so kyle mouths "stop staring at me." glaring at him oh my god...drama. boooys :(((

they also keep accidentally playing footsie under the table, smh.

BUT I HAVEN'T TALKED ABOUT GERALD YET!!! and gerald is talking, talking shop, trying to get raven/cd to hire him as their personal lawyer because while gerald does not like raven at all, he has been sort of quiet and cordial because he's being sneaky/strategic and all he sees is dollar signs, business opportunities. he knows that raven is rich and that cd is like the biggest rock band in the world rn. so he wants a cut of those profits and so he's laying it on thick. he also never bothered to learn raven's name and thinks it's raymond.

sheila is piiiiissed like, gerald, no talking about work at the table! we have guests over, it's impolite! and it's ikey's birthday dinner >:(

in between that there's lots of dinner table talk, ZAYDE ASKS IF RAVESEY ARE DATING and kyle is like "no that's a stupid rumor from the internet. raven is actually dating..." *sips wine* "Call Girl."

thERE IS SO MUCH TENSION, OH MY GOD!!!!! sheila is bummed, she's team ravesey, ike is also bummed, he is also team ravesey, grandparents are equal parts bummed and relieved, but none more than gerald who is like "thank god, i was worried bc of all the rings and the fruity color of your hair, that you might be…Queer."

and stan is like aHhahaaha!!!! whew! pls pass the WINE

there's additional important talk about ike and college ( ike is a year younger than all his friends bc he's smart and skipped a grade ) they are discussing him being a doctor like he chose it. kyle, ofc, knows he wants to be a journalist so he's like "has anyone asked IKE what he wants?!" bc kyle has had a little too much wine at dinner omg, so he's just starting all kinds of problems, i'm screeeeeaaaaaming. it comes out that ike wants to be a journalist. it's a mess.

kyle and gerald start fighting with each other, also gerald has been slyly putting kyle down all night and belittling him to look big. nitpicking him, playing down his accomplishments, being a dick. basically insinuating that compared to stan who is a fucking rockstar with millions of dollars, kyle is basically a joke and kyle is just Taking It in a way that kyle neeeever does, but it's his dad, he feels 7 years old again and is shutting down, you can see his eyes dim

aND STAN EXPLOOOOOOOOOOODES!!!!! LUNGES OVER AND PUUUUNCHES, PACIFIST STAN PUUUUNCHES GERALD IN THE FACE, PUTS HIM AGAINST THE WALL FIST FULL OF HIS SHIRT IN HIS HANDS, ABSOLUTELY SEETHING. and he is like! fuck you, gerald! kyle is one million times the man you will ever be! he is kind and wonderful and hardworking and fucking BRILLIANT!!! he is the best person on earth and YOU ARE LUCKY TO CALL HIM A SON, YOU WASHED UP, MALE PATTERN BALDING PINCHE PENDEJO!!!

everyone is shocked!!! everyone is STUUUUUNNED!!!! oh my god!!!! no one more than kyle whose heart is beating so fast. but anyways, stan just tries to compose himself and straighten his suit out, like, mrs. broflovski dinner ( the centerpiece apple he ate ) was delicious, everyone i am so sorry and happy birthday ike. AND WALKS OUT

anyways, uh...i hope that answers your question.

-uncle nina, angst queen and incitor of VIOLENCE!!!

#WOOOOOORRRLDSTAAAAAAAR!!!#viva la revolución babey!#i am sorry this was poorly typed and crazy but do u see the vision also i am sorry abt the plot holes #i didn't want to give you too much at once #i love stan w the blue hair sm also fun fact he dyed it blue bc its yerseys favorite color...not knowing its bc its his eye color #stan and sheila bonding is so cute #she does tell him often that he reminds her of a boy she knew #kyles best friend from before the fire #and stan is like ahahaha whew #also the pronoun thing for stan is hard for her but she tries #for kyle which is nice #BUT YEAH THE BOYS ARE FIGHITNG BC NEWS DROPS THAT RAVEN OF CRIMSON DAWN IS DATING POP PRINCESS IT GIRL CALL GIRL #its a whole mess it happens a lil before the plane ride over #so kyle is not on speaking terms w stan at all #its a whole mess #SPEAKING OF MESSES but first speaking of cleaning up nicely HELLLLOOOO GENTLEMAN STAN I LOVE U QUE QUAPISIMO #is it hot in here or is it just THE FLAMES FROM HELL BC THATS WHAT THAT DINNER PARTY IS GOING UP IN #i cant believe stan HIT someone and it was GERALD #insanity...pls note kyle follows him out...do they make up #who knows...i hope they makeout tho smh

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