January doodle dump! I started keeping a separate canvas for lil random doodles - specifically for when the urge to draw a random little island kicks in

Hii can I request one for jjk boys where they reject your confession initially but as time goes on they fall for you and regret that rejection

💔 JJK BOYS REJECTING YOUR CONFESSION (AND REGRETTING IT LATER) + HEADCANONS 💔

Characters: Gojo, Nanami, Itadori, Megumi, Yuta, Sukuna, Toji, gender neutral reader

Genre: romance

Warnings: grammar mistakes, mention of sex in Sukuna and Toji’s parts (I don’t know how you can write about them without mentioning sex lmao)

Notes:  Hello anon, actually my hugest headcanon for a Gojo x reader is that he rejects the confession at first (I’d like to expand it some day and write a proper fanfiction, but I wonder when I’ll have enough time to do that lol). I chose the characters I usually write about, I hope that’s ok :)

→Requests are open!

Gojo

I think he’s interested in you in a “I want to spend a night with this person” way, but he doesn’t really try to pursue you because he realized you have deeper feelings for him.

He flirts with you from time to time, but he soon pulls away, leaving you confused.

You know you can’t expect much from someone like him, but you also feel there’s something between you two so you decide to confess.

He’s a bit baffled because he was not expecting you’d be brave enough to confess.

Anyway, as expected, he rejects you.

I feel Gojo is a bit oblivious of his own feelings and kinda scared of commitment and intense relationships, so it will take him a lot of time before realizing that he made a mistake.

You’ll probably have plenty of time to get over him, find another good person and even begin a serious relationship.

And he’ll realise how important you were for him exactly when he’s so close to losing you forever.

He decides to keep his feelings for himself at first, because he knows he was a prick and confessing now that you’re happy with someone else would be very uncool.

But this doesn’t last long, he’s used to fight for what he wants and being considerate and self-sacrificing is not like him.

He confesses and you might probably get angry. You’ll think he’s just being whimsical and selfish like always.

But the truth is that he has always cared for you and you were rejected the first time because he couldn’t love you the way you needed to.

Now he confesses because he knows he’s serious and he feels confident about his feelings. He knows he can make you happy.

Nanami

He tries to be as kind as possible when he rejects you.

Honestly, this makes you almost fall harder for him because he’s so considerate.

Nanami thinks of you as a good friend and a good person but I feel he’s someone who needs a lot of time before really falling for anybody and consider a relationship.

So confessing to him was probably a smart choice, since now he can’t help but picture you two in a relationship.

He needs to slowly warm up to the idea and he might realize his mistake when he thinks that being with you is comfortable and fun.

He probably feels a bit embarassed now because he knows he has made a huge mistake.

I’m sure you’ll forgive him lol

Itadori

He’ll probably feel very flattered to hear your words but he’s not ready for a relationship.

He wasn’t really expecting that since he thought of the two of you only as friends, but that definitely makes him think about many things.

It’s interesting for him that you like him, he probably wonders why him, or what is special about him.

He’s sure there must be cooler guys out there. I think he feels a bit grateful and almost proud (?) like “hey, this great person likes me! isn’t it amazing?”, it was a huge boost to his confidence basically.

He realizes he’s catching feelings for you when Nobara tells him that it was stupid to reject you if he was so happy you liked him.

He’s probably “???” when Nobara tells him that. He’ll definitely look on google “how to understand if you have a crush on your friend”.

He’ll be honest about his feelings with you, he’ll tell you about his confusion, about how cool he thinks you are and about how happy you were when you told him you liked him.

Little by little he’ll understand he loves you back.

Megumi

Like Nanami, he’ll be very polite when he rejects you.

At first he might feel a bit uncomfortable if you are around, but he’ll try his best to behave normally.

He is worried you like him only because of his looks and his strength. He doesn’t think he has any other good quality.

He’s probably thinking you idealized him and you’ll soon forget about him.

I think some persistence here might work. He won’t believe you if you simply tell “I like you”, but you should be more specific, for example “I like how kind you are” or “You got angry because you wanted me to be less reckless, right?”

Megumi likes compassionate people, he doesn’t need anything else. So he wants to be liked in the same way, he wants to be loved for what he really is.

Show him you can read right through his soul, show him that you can go beyond his looks, his power and his difficult personality.

I think that being understood and accepted for who he really is will make him fall for you.

Yuta

He was so close to accept your confession because he hates hurting you, but he knows that would be wrong.

He feels as if he’s done the worst thing to you, so instead of distancing himself a bit from you, or becoming more careful with you, he actually begins hanging around you more often.

He often asks you if you’re ok or if you need anything.

You tell him it’s ok and he doesn’t need to be so concerned, it’s as if he is the one that got rejected lol

He can’t help thinking about you, and your confession opened him to new scenarios.

He has always considered you as his favourite person, but does that mean he likes you? How thin is the line between a person you like as a friend and a person you like as a lover?

When he’ll realize that maybe he likes you back, he’ll feel so bad about it and so stupid, if only he had realized it faster you wouldn’t have suffered because of him.

Nonetheless, he tells his feelings to you and you begin dating, but I think a part of him will always feel bad about the rejection.

Sukuna

I really appreciate your courage, I’m sure you don’t fear rejection because if you confess to him he won’t have any delicacy when he turns you down.

But… he thinks you’re really hot so he’ll propose some sex to you.

Now it’s your turn to reject him, you know him too well and you don’t want to be used by him.

Sukuna was never rejected, so I think this will give him a lot of complex feelings.

You just said you liked him, but you don’t want to sleep with him? Are you crazy?

Being unable to fulfill his desires simply make him desire for you more and more.

To the point he’ll tell you “You can keep liking me, but lemme f*ck you” and that’s ok for you, you can’t expect a more romantic line from him lmao

Toji

You need the same amount of courage you had when you confessed to Sukuna.

He thinks you’re hot too, but honestly your feelings are a nuisance for him, he doesn’t want anything serious with you.

Unlike Sukuna, he can keep his lust under control, so really even if he’s desperate for some sex, his decision to keep you at distance is more important than his instincts.

He really needs a change of mind before realising he made a mistake.

I think you really need to be a smart player here too, like Sukuna was stirred up by your rejection, here you should probably stick close to him.

The hardest Toji wants to think about something else, the closer you should try to get to him.

Seduce him, invite him, use every weapon you have because he’ll surrender to his urges sooner or later.

Persistence works and it feels like conquering a walled city.

Sleepless nights (ii)

Continuation of this! I have a couple more nights of sleeping difficulty planned for poor Nursey, and eventually the whole thing is going up on ao3. This one got long. And if someone could help me figure out how to make the “keep reading” work for mobile...that would be GREAT - the internet is failing me.

***

Nursey’s bus leaves for Maine at 9:45am from Port Authority, and Nursey finds himself sprinting through the uptown building at 9:40 after initially going to the wrong gate. His duffle bag bounces against his side as he clambers down the escalator, finally arriving at his gate two minutes before the bus is supposed to depart. Panting, he hands his ticket to a very bored-looking driver, and hauls himself onto the bus. He finds a seat near the back, wanting to avoid the inevitable fall on the way to the shitty on-bus bathroom later on. Stowing his bag overhead, Nursey finally drops into his seat and lets out a long breath.

Me: made it :)

Dexyyy: Proud of you.

Dexyyy: What’s your ETA again?

Me: supposed to be around 7:30 I think? Bus takes fucking forever. Stops and shit

Dexyyy: Got it.

The bus leaves five minutes late. Nursey puts his headphones on and stares out of the window at the passing buildings. The bus meanders through the city, lurching through the Thursday mid-morning traffic. Nursey lets his thoughts wander according to the music that is valiantly trying to make a cohesive soundtrack for his life.

30 minutes later and the bus finally trundles out of Manhattan, picking up speed as the traffic lengthens out to create an ever-moving ribbon flying down the road. Nursey’s Spotify is on a metal kick, and he goes to change it to his running playlist, but sees that he has a missed text from Dex.

Dexyyy: Ma wants to know what you want for dinner. I told her about your peanut and tree nut allergies, but I forgot if you like burgers or beef stew more.

Me: mmm stew sounds great but burgers are probably easier

Dexyyy: Okay but which one would you prefer?

Me: oh my god decisionsssss

Me: why do you do this to me

Dexyyy: Nursey just pick a food

Me: ...stew

Dexyyy: Fuck yes

Me: lol

Nursey spends the next three hours alternating between reading Holster’s accounts of his and Ransom’s adventures (which are increasingly entertaining and implausible) as texted to the group chat, scrolling through Instagram (and rolling his eyes at all of the photos posted by his Andover classmates), and staring out at the passing scenery. He eats a quick lunch, gulps down a bottle of water, and naps. He jolts awake when a song from his angsty teenage days blasts through his headphones, and somehow manages to make it to the bathroom and back without faceplanting in the middle of the aisle. Nursey glares at his phone when it tells him that it is only 3:26. Four more hours. Nursey’s butt is going numb.

Me: dexxxxx

Dexyyy: What’s up?

Me: im boreddddd

Dexyyy: Well, I can’t help you with that

Dexyyy: Remind me why you decided to take the bus and not Amtrak? It takes like 6 hours on the train, the bus takes almost 10.

Me: idk

Me: i thought it would be prettier

Me: more whimsical

Dexyyy: Oh my god you’re such a poet

Me: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Dexyyy: NURSEY

Me: tis my name

Dexyyy: Oh my god I can’t believe I willingly invited you to stay with me for a week. What was I thinking???

Me: dunno man

Me: but I’m excited

Me: TO GET OFF THIS BUS

Dexyyy: You suck.

Me: you love me

Dexyyy: Do I

Dexyyy: Do I though

Me: :)

Dexyyy: Anyway

Dexyyy: Ma forgot to get the beef for her beef stew so I have to go get it, I’ll text you in a bit

Me: drive safe!

Dexyyy: I’ll try.

Nursey drops his phone into his lap and tells himself to stop grinning like an idiot. Four more hours until he gets to see Dex, four more hours until what he knows is going to be the best week of his summer, four more hours until he can get off this fucking bus. Spotify chooses to play Sam Cooke’s What a Wonderful World.

Dexyyy: I’m at the store, do you want anything while I’m here?

Me: edibles

Dexyyy: If only

Me: could you get me a few vitamin waters or something?

Dexyyy: The pink ones? Power-C?

Me: yessss

Dexyyy: Ok, will do.

Dexyyy: How’s the ride?

Me: Dex

Me: I am. So. Bored.

Dexyyy: Write something?

Dexyyy: Oh wait, you can’t write in moving vehicles.

Me: yeah :(

Dexyyy: Can’t you type on your phone or something?

Me: idk it doesn’t work as well, I feel like I don’t usually like what I end up writing, you know?

Dexyyy: I guess? Yeah I kinda get it

Three hours later, exhaustion hits Nursey like a truck. Dex texts him to let him know that he’s leaving his house to make the hour-long drive to get Nursey from the bus stop, and Nursey valiantly tries to nap again but he is listless and dehydrated from being on the bus for nine hours. He checks his phone every 15 minutes and each time only five have passed, and the sun seems stuck in place, hovering over the edge of the world but refusing to go down. Time passes slower than when you’re high, and ten times more aggravatingly. But finally, finally, they’re pulling off of the main highway and onto a slower, smaller road, past a small town and coming to a stop in a parking lot, and Nursey can see Dex leaning against his pickup and suddenly his heart is in his mouth. Nursey shoots out of his seat and grabs his things, waddles down the aisle, thanks the bus driver, and trips down the stairs. Dex is laughing at him from where his is standing, and Nursey attempts to flip him off but ends up dropping his duffel and his phone, making Dex laugh harder.

“C’mon Nursey, Ma’s stew is waiting, we don’t have time for you to be a walking mess.”

“Hello to you too, Dex,” Nursey grumbles as he picks up his things.

“Mm. How’s your ass?”

“Still fine as hell.” Dex glares at him. “After sitting on it for that long, I’m surprised it’s not flat.”

“We’ve had roadies that take almost as long to get to.”

“Yeah but when you’re with the team, everything is so much more fun.”

“True.”

Dex starts his car and rolls the windows down. The air is sweet, lighter than what Nursey is used to. He takes a minute to just breathe, getting used to the quiet noise of wheels turning on the tar, the wind rushing past, music drifting quietly out of the car’s speakers. The sun has resumed on its path to give the moon authority, and Dex looks peaceful. They don’t talk for the hour-long ride back to Dex’s house, Dex content to focus on the road, and Nursey content to focus on Dex. He doesn’t know when he first started seeing calm in his defensive partner -- he didn’t think it was possible -- but more and more he’s been seeing Dex as a person rather than a flame. It’s nice. Nursey figures that he must be really, really tired, if he’s allowing himself to think like this.

Meeting Dex’s family, the tour of the house, and dinner passes in a haze for Nursey. He knows the stew was amazing, he knows he is surprised that Dex’s brother doesn’t have red hair, he knows that he is welcomed as a friend of Dex’s but treated only as a guest. He knows that he reverts back to some of his Andover ways (his white-people parent-pleasing ways), and he knows that Dex is frowning at his changed behavior. But Nursey is too tired to deal with anything, and dinner finishes late at nearly 10. Dex pulls Nursey up to his room, where an air mattress has been set up next to Dex’s bed. Dex and Nursey get ready for sleep, switching off in the bathroom in the rhythm they established for roadies, and Dex sets an alarm for 4:30am (“Why, Dex, why.” “I have to work, Nursey. You can sleep in, I’m not expecting your ass to last on a boat for more than five minutes.”) while Nursey smushes his face into his pillow.

It’s not until he turns onto his back that Nursey notices the glow-in-the-dark stars pasted onto the ceiling, and here is another fucking problem. The light from the stars is nothing like the street lamp outside of Nursey’s window at home, and he knows that they will fade out soon, but they are somehow distracting nonetheless. Nursey shifts onto his side, and then flips onto the other, trying not to make too much noise but suddenly unable to get comfortable. After five minutes of waiting to fall asleep, Nursey sits up and stares out into the darkness, sighing deeply.

Dex moves on his bed, and then whisper-shouts, “Nursey, why the hell aren’t you asleep?”

“I don’t fucking know, Dex. I want to go to sleep, it’s not like I’m like, ‘oh yeah, let’s just stay up all fucking night!’”

“Well what the fuck do you need?”

“I dunno!”

“Jesus Christ, I have to be up in six hours, I am not dealing with this,” and then flying out of the darkness comes a pillow, aimed straight at Nursey’s head. He catches it full in the face, and it startles him enough that he flops backwards. Dex chuckles.

“The fuck was that for, man?”

“You always sleep with two pillows, Nurse, and Ma only gave you one. Plus it was really satisfying to throw that at you.”

“Fuck you, Dex. I did not sign up for this.”

“Too bad, Nurse. You can’t get home unless I drive you to the bus stop, so you’re stuck with me until I get sick of you. Or next week, whichever comes first.”

“You don’t think you’ll be sick of me before that?” Nursey asks incredulously.

“Meh, we’ll see. Now go to sleep, Nursey, seriously, before I come knock you out.”

Nursey heaves yet another a put-upon sigh and lays back, sandwiching his head between the two pillows. The top one smells like Dex, and Nursey finds his breathing slowing as he takes in the new but not unfamiliar smell. The star stickers become a distant thought, and Nursey feels himself slowly being swallowed by a welcome sensation -- comfort, his tired mind supplies. Comfort and calm, it says. Dex, it breathes. Nursey falls down, down, down, to sleep.

Reflecting on Breath of the Wild’s VO Process

**WARNING: VERY LONG POST AHEAD**

Breath of the Wild is a very special project to me - and Revali in particular an incredibly special character - but it actually has nothing at all to do with the fame of the game or the worldwide recognition of the brand. It's special because nearly every single milestone, from the audition to the final recording session, either taught me something about myself or implemented one of the many many lessons we've been taught time and time again at panels and workshops but probably don't see in action very often.

This is going to read more like an essay than a stream of consciousness, but I feel this will really help me get across the individual facets of the Breath of the Wild 'experience' that went far and beyond anything I have ever gone through before for a voiceover booking. I hope you'll understand that this is meant to be a way for me to reflect on an incredible journey, and not anything intended to try and 'upsell' how special said journey was for bragging rights.

-------------------------

1) The audition for BotW initially came not from the casting director himself, but from a CLIENT FRIEND the director had from a studio I had done previous work for. The owner of said studio contacted various talent saying that "a fellow client is looking for interested talent for an audition, please email _____ for more information", but otherwise had NO involvement in the actual project at all.

That was it. The door of opportunity for this began not with an intense workshop, or a circle of inside friends making referrals, but with a simple email from a partner studio saying "email this person and send samples if you would like to be considered to receive sides". Not a single detail about the project was included in that email, but I still had to make the choice to dive into that deep end and find out what waited ahead.

This means that the door of opportunity I had for this project came about strictly as a result of my connection network - a recording company I've worked with for YEARS was the source of the initial email connecting me to this brand new person/studio branch, even though they were never involved with the actual game. This is why it's so integral to maintain connections with all your peers and clients - you have no idea where that next opportunity is going to start.

*

2) Auditioning for the characters was a little more difficult because, as many of you would imagine, pretty much everything was codenamed or altered so as not to make it obvious what the project was for. Granted, it was still easy to find those 1 or 2 sides that I KNEW were right up my alley in terms of pitch and cadence, but even after knocking them out I still had one more to choose for my audition and wanted to maximize the # of shots I got to take.

Believe it or not, I was the one who went to my mentor and said "I really want to read for (Deku Tree)", even though he initially wasn't interested and/or wasn't fully convinced that I could pull off a realistic approach to the character (and for good reason; low-pitch performances have been a weak point of mine for a long time). But I wanted to draw from the many times I've played 'old and whimsical grandfathers/wizards' and finally showcase it to someone in the industry.

So with enough prodding we worked together to refine it by adding elements of my STRENGTHS to what I already had developed; instead of being straight up baritone, I was now slightly younger, but breathy and relaxed in my pacing. Wide-open mouth movements and deep breaths naturally deepened the voice without me having to force my range lower into my throat. I was developing a character from the ground up and making it into something I could present, and the results were obvious; the casting director *could not believe* that "that voice" was coming out of MY face, to the extent that he had the visiting company president listen in as a witness confirmation.

This is why you have to look at key terms in audition sides, and why "making it your own" is a LEGITIMATE approach to surprising studios and directors with options they didn't know were possible. With a few exceptions, don't look at a character and just determine "I can't do this" - try to at least dissect them into elements you're familiar with, and figure out how you can take what you know and apply it to what they're looking for.

*

3) When I got the callback for BotW, I was smack-dab in the middle of a 3-week vacation to visit Ajai, back while she still lived in Michigan. They had a specific date planned for these callbacks that couldn't be adjusted, and it was in approximately 3 days from the call - a whole half-week before I would have been flying home anyway. Changing my flight meant not only ending a visit that my fiancee had been waiting for SINCE SEPTEMBER, but also a brand new flight ticket (at full-price), and not even a guarantee of the role since this was strictly a callback audition.

I still went. Even without having absolute certainty of the real project name (I had a fairly good hunch at this point), I still went. I ate the cost and chased the chance, because I was not willing to risk it on the alternative option of a remote audition from my old laptop vs. a live in-studio option with feedback and professional-level quality.

I don't know if I still would have booked it via the remote audition, but I know I never would have wanted to risk it anyway. This was one of the moments where ALL those times Tony Oliver said "If you'd rather be doing anything else, go do that instead" actually became a defining factor in my decision; I *wanted* this, wanted it so bad I was willing to throw down several hundred dollars just to better my chances at leaving a great impression. To be honest, I think that decision also said to the director that I was just as committed as he was to trying to create a great production, and that if cast he could trust we would be in it together beyond a basic Talent-Role obligation.

This is why being a voiceover artist sometimes means making sacrifices without a promise of a reward; it's our version of "dressing for the job you want", just a lot more expensive.

*

4) If Deku Tree was the example of the character I thought would be difficult but actually turned out to be quite easy to do consistently....Revali was the reverse. Revali was the character I expected would soar (lol) with flying colors, who I had developed an entire personality and quirks for before I even stepped foot into his first studio session...but instead gave me immense amounts of trouble and self-doubt.

The problem was that even though I DID have an extremely bold/solid character choice for him going into the studio, the people in charge (and I mean The Big Guys) already had very specific ideas in mind for what they wanted - ideas that did not mesh with my own creation. I went from having a complete character already penned out, to having to scrap nearly every detail of my creation and hang on the word of the director for guidelines on what to do. I was at Square 1 and trying so, so hard to meet what was requested of me because I love Revali as a character more than any other role I have ever played, and I didn't want to lose him.

I actually cried to my mentor over the phone during the middle of that first session while on a break period from the recording; I was so distraught at the differences between what I had in mind and what I was being asked to do that I wasn't sure if I could even accommodate the director's wishes... if I was going to give the character the kind of performance I knew he deserved and WANTED him to have. I wanted Revali to be the best he could possibly be, and I wasn't even sure if I could trust myself to accomplish that even though I felt like no one else could be more passionate about him.

But I learned from this. I learned firsthand that even the best-laid plans can go to waste, and I had to go back into this session ready to be an "actor" in the truest sense - someone who creates magic out of bits and pieces, regardless of whether they have 5 days to prepare or 5 minutes. I learned that to give Revali the kind of performance he deserved, I had to put aside all those negative thoughts and emotions hindering me from being able to focus and PLAY, stop worrying about all the ways I could fail, and work with my director as a teammate while trusting that he - more than anyone else - genuinely wants to see me succeed. I needed this kind of reality check to prepare me for my future in the industry, and no matter how frustrating Ravioli Bird was to tackle I am so grateful that I could experience that frustration over a character I refused to ever give up on.

This is why it's important to have a sense of self-drive and a real desire to improve; no one can help you succeed if even you give up on yourself.

*

5) The funniest part about Revali was that it wasn't just my audition that helped land the role (it was still the biggest portion by far, don't get me wrong), but also my ability to be a massive shameless fanboy. According to the director, I literally could not contain myself from widening my eyes and giving out small squees of excitement every time he showed up on a sample clip, not unlike a young child getting their first real look at Disney World's Magic Kingdom Castle. Somehow, my overjoyed noises had been shared directly with individuals over at a different studio who plated a part in determining the final cast. It turned out that similar to XSEED, the board members were very interested in having cast members who were as passionate about their product as they themselves needed to be. For them, my passion was the 'oomph' and extra tang that took an audition from Good to Great.

This is why it's important to remember that it's OKAY to be excited and/or proud about the work you do as a voice actor; this profession is supposed to be fun. It's incredible, it's unique, and we get to have some of the coolest adventures ever while being paid for the privilege to do so. Sometimes letting our inner geeks show can be a great thing, as long as it's contained within a professional context.

-------------------------

Regardless of how much work went into this entire experience for me, I do not expect it to be undeniable evidence that my end-result was perfect, or even subjectively 'good'. I do not expect everyone to be a fan of it, and if you thought the character fell short THAT'S STILL OKAY; so many different elements went into the delivery of each line, the atmosphere of each scene, that my performances were as much a result of the client's wishes and specific demands as they were my own spices added to the recording soup.

But there is absolutely no doubt - not a single shred of evidence otherwise - that I worked incredibly hard on this. Every single step of this project was a new challenge for me to meet or a brand new obstacle I hadn't really faced before but now needed to address and move beyond in order to do what I needed to do. I can be super critical of myself sometimes (all the time), but there is not a moment in my mind where I question whether or not I put my heart and soul into this (Current # of Times I Cried Over Revali currently sits at 3).

Because I put that effort in, and because I did the ABSOLUTE BEST I COULD in every moment of my involvement with this project, I can be proud. I AM proud. I am proud of what I accomplished even if someone comes along and says "TBH this makes the CDi games sound better". I am proud that I threw risk to the wind and put myself out there without fear of rejection just out of sheer desire to be a part of this, and now I'm a permanent part of the Zelda legacy for it.

This entire process was nothing short of an adventure in every sense you can think of. But even as this project finally closes up, my voiceover adventure continues, perhaps now even grander and with more opportunities than ever before.

Thank You for becoming a part of it, however big or small your role, and I hope that no matter what your passion is you find the chance to have an adventure like this for yourself.

Survey #78

“why are the children all marching into the desert to die?”

list your three favorite scents. lilac, uhhh and then cinnamon and coffee, maybe? how do you ground yourself or recharge? sleep, go online... comfort food? my #1 is definitely ice cream have you ever been on a laptop inside a vehicle? no while on the road, do you play any road games? not anymore are you scared of semi-trucks? especially when you’re driving next to one? AHHHH YES if you have any pets, do you talk to them in a baby voice?  hell yeah! do you like screamo music? i do not. i want to be able to understand the words. like, they can even be in different languages, i don't care, i just want to understand clear words. what is the relationship between you and the person you last kissed? much to my dismay, there isn't one. if you could change your name what would you change it to? zoey, probably. have you ever tried weed?  no, and i have no desire to. how much effort did you put into your last relationship? way, way, way too much. are you a patient person? NOPE. do you have impulse control? DOUBLE NOPE can you use chopsticks? my tremors would never allow it. do you like the smell of gasoline? NO NO NO NO NONONONONO did you ever live in a house with more than one story? nope what’s your favorite fast food place? bojangle's what's your favorite alcoholic drink? i haven't tried many, but the best thing i've had thus far was a watermelon margarita thing. have you ever given yourself a tattoo? no, and i wouldn't. i'm very serious about the professionalism of my tats. do you ever buy your pet(s) birthday or christmas presents? sure do! can you lick your nose?  nope. can you lick your elbow?  nope. would you rather watch a movie in theater or at home?  defs in theaters. do you still own any vhs tapes? do you ever watch them?  no, mom got rid of them all. what hobby have you always wanted to pick up?  hmmm. crafts. have you ever rolled off your bed in your sleep?  no. have you ever had a penpal?  nope. do you put your shirt on or your pants on first?  pants are you afraid of spiders?  only if they are venomous or have extremely long legs in comparison to their bodies. have you ever been stung by a bee?  i haven't. do you enjoy board games?  no. what do you like on your burgers? (cheese, ketchup, mustard..)  cheese, ketchup, mustard, onion pieces, pickles how much water do you drink each day?  none. do you enjoy mario games? not particularly, but with friends, sure. has the last person you kissed met your father? he has. what’s your favorite breed of dog? akita inus, chow chows, beagles... do you swear in front of your parents?  i'm totally open around my dad, but i usually don't say "fuck" around mom. what would you do if you found out you were pregnant to the last person you kissed?  cry and probably become obsessed with the child's well-being, even while in utero. can you make yourself cry? i can't. what do you tend to drink a lot of? milk have you ever woke up crying from a bad dream? yes, and i once woke up screaming. have you ever had to block anyone online? i've been actively using the internet since dial-up, whatcha think? are you scared of ending up alone? i'm legitimately horrified. are your pets asleep right now, if you have any?  i'm not at home, so idk. have you ever done three or more shots in a row? i've never done shots. favorite undersea creature? dolphins i think, but i also really like jellyfish and whales. seahorses, too. describe the darker side to your personality.  more than anything, i can be viciously jealous. i have an interior savagery, but just barely enough control to contain it. what makes a movie really enjoyable for you? creative, whimsical story and artwork, drama, and relatable characters. favorite type of bird? owls. favorite forest animal? deer! do you think you could ever have an abortion if you unexpectedly turned up pregnant right this second? absolutely not. what is your favorite video game console? why?  ps2 has the best games. do you like vanilla candles?  sure do. how many girlfriends/boyfriends have told you they love you? one, i think. juan might have... have you ever smoked a cigarette? no. who did you last share a taxi with? i've never been in one. do you vape? nope. do you enjoy the arctic monkeys?  i like two songs. where’s your favorite place to shop for clothes?  rebel's market. have you ever seen a mountain in person? i have. have you ever explored somewhere abandoned? i have. there's a shack and old house near my house that friends and i explored when i was younger. we got in trouble lol. have you ever found a four-leaf clover? i discovered a patch of four-leaf clovers the day after my dad left... (: would you rather live in a coastal town or a town closer to the forest? ohhh. can it be in the forest? are you lazy? i am, honestly. regularly burn incense? i used to. i need more sticks... who was your high school crush? i had a few. i was kinda interested in a guy named kyle, i really liked this boy sebastian, but my biggest crush was jason. are you cpr certified? no. who accompanied you to your first concert? mom, nicole, and jason. do you and your friends listen to similar music? depends on the friend. my best friend, no. do you believe in the idea of taking from the rich and giving to the poor? why or why not? no, because who says the rich don't deserve what they've accumulated? do you believe that animals are capable of “human” emotion? why not? it's very obvious that they feel emotion; now are their emotions the same as how we humans feel it, maybe not, but they obviously feel. who do you consider “family?” my mom, dad, ashley, nicole, katie, bobby, misty, a few aunts and uncles and uncles, colleen, chelsea, bradley, and despite having no relationship with him, jason will always be my family. could you sacrifice yourself for someone you barely knew? honestly, no. does the thought of having children scare you? horrifies me. i'd prefer to never imagine pushing a seven-pound human being out of my fucking vagina. xbox or playstation? playstation! have you ever asked someone out? i kinda-sorta initiated the asking out with aaron, but not exactly? when do you want to get married? i see 23 as an ideal marrying age, but there's literally no way that'll happen with me unless j comes back. did you like your middle school life? ACTUALLY fuck that. that's when my anxiety and depression started, and it was just... awkward and uncomfortable. have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? yes and no... maybe. like, with jason, i thought to myself, "wow, he's really weird" when i met him, but at the same time, i found myself thinking, "this guy's gonna mean something." what’s your favorite zoo animal? meerkats, on the rare occasion they have them. do you have any plans for tomorrow? skating! :D what’s your favorite part about the fall? the colorful foliage, omg! which scooby-doo character are you most like (scooby, shaggy, daphne, fred, velma, the monster, scrappy?) probably scooby or shaggy. what “group” did you belong to in high school? i resonated/made friends with mostly the goths, emos, metalheads... describe your favorite pair of pj’s. a black pair of pajama pants with a design of harley quinn holding two guns sitting on her knees with "hey, puddin'" written beneath her. i usually wore them when i wanted j's dick honestly lmao. i still wear them tho honestly just 'cuz they're comfortable. if you could have any job in the world, which one would you want? meerkat biologist OR a member of the mythical crew how did you learn to ride a bicycle? my dad taught me. (: have you ever been to a sports game? hockey, yes. have you seen all the shrek movies? no and i cry every night because of it. have you ever finished a whole video game? of course do you know anyone with a pet snake? currently, i don't believe so. your parents split; would you want to live with your mom or dad? they did split, and i live(d) with my mom. how does it make you feel looking at pics with your ex and someone else? i've seen one picture of him with his current girlfriend, and i legitimately wanted to murder the bitch. no exaggeration. have you ever slept in the same bed as your friend? multiple times. what is on your bed right now? well, my own bed is in storage right now to my understanding, but the bed i'm using at colleen's currently just had pillows and blankets. are you someone’s best friend? i am! :D what do you think of when you think of australia? my friend shaylee ever ridden on a roller coaster? no, too scared. what is your birthstone? amethyst is anyone jealous of you? literally no reason to ever be. do any of your friends have children? not any close friends how did you get one of your scars? i scratched the fuck out of my leg. it was overly itchy. honestly, what is your point of a view of a friend who goes for their friend’s exes? consult your friend about it. when was the last time you laughed so hard you couldn’t breathe? when playing "cards against humanity" with colleen, chelsea, and bradley would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum? zoo! do you sleep with a night light? no. do you bite your toenails? nope. what musical artists have you most felt connected to over your lifetime? overall, i feel most connected to otep's lyrics. have you ever gone to the person you like’s best friend to help you out? no. who is the most blunt person that you know? colleen do you think you will be going to sleep soon? i might take a nap. what nervous habits do you have? my eyes dart, i play with/knead my hands, avoid eye contact, etc. when was the last time you were hit on by someone? i'm not sure. what is your ringtones on your cellular? "telescope" by starset do you wear makeup? rarely. do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? nope. what is your pet’s name? the only pet i personally "own" is teddy, a beagle-cocker spaniel mix. do you have any siblings? do you get along? my two immediate siblings are ashley and nicole. what is your favorite color? maroon. what color are your eyes? blue do you like your parents? i love them. how long does it take you to shower? like 8 minutes. is the last person you kissed older than you? by two years name everyone you kissed this year: no one is it awkward when you run into your ex’s? i've never "run into" him. i've seen him once, but it wasn't awkward honestly. have you ever fallen asleep with the last person you kissed? probably hundreds of times... do you change your phone background a lot? nope. think back to your last relationship. was it worth it? yes, it was. has anyone seen you in your underwear, other than mom? yep. do you hate being the first person to start a conversation? sure do. if you had to live off one type of fruit, which would you pick? strawberries what do you usually order from olive garden? spicy shrimp fritas. fucking perfection. how do you like your steak cooked? well done do you know anyone who self-harms? i know people who have, but i certainly hope they still don't. do you have any siblings? what are their names, age, and grade they are in? doing immediate siblings only. ashley: she's 24, i think, and she's graduated. nicole: she's 18 and is a freshman in college. do you know a schizophrenic person? yes. my own half-sister tiffany is a schizophrenic. do you own many pairs of shorts? i don't have any. is there a certain song you like to headbang to?  surprisingly, i don't headbang. is there a band/artist who has strange lyrics but you love them anyway?  rammstein's lyrics are rather different imo did you love playing hide and seek as a kid?  i really did! do you have a favorite font on the computer?  garamond, i assume. have you ever been severely burned?  nope. did you ever dream that you had a baby?  multiple times. what was the weirdest thing you ever saw cross the road?  hm, not sure... do you try clothes on before you buy them? i avoid that shit like the plague, but i guess if i have to. by society's standards, are you attractive? probably not, idk? mostly because i'm fat, so. i do have clear skin though? would you let your kid smoke weed? if i found my child smoking weed, that would probably be the closest i'd ever get to beating their fucking ass, to be frank about it. are you mentally stable? "no" should be the obvious answer. do you think marijuana is safer than alcohol? in some ways, sure. what do you hear right now? "the dope show" by marilyn manson, chelsea talking in her room... have you ever been in an abusive relationship? no. what color is your favorite bra? it's mostly baby pink, but has a black, swirly design on it. which would you rather have, a new puppy or kitten? i'd actually quite enjoy a kitten right now. if you could have one power, what would it be? shape-shifting. would you ever date out of your own race?   yeah. do you still watch movies intended for children?   every now and again. who is your favorite stand-up comedian?   john pinette. what is your strangest phobia?   whale sharks. what is the most pointless movie that you have ever seen?   "the purge."  just the concept of it was so stupid.  i mean, the film was okay, but still pointless. have you ever kissed someone of the same gender as you?   romantically, no. when a bee is coming close to you, do you stand still or run away?   depends on the kind of bee.  ex., wasp, i'm running.  honeybee, it's cool. are you self conscious about wearing a bathing suit?   very, yes. if you had to play one sport for a living, what would it be?   dance. have your parents ever thought you were gay? what happened?   i don't think so, no. what’s the best thing to eat for breakfast?   pancakes are your parents more liberal or conservative?   conservative, mostly, with some liberal views. when was the last time you saw your best friend?   this morning.  i am currently living with her; she's at work atm. how many jobs have you ever had? (including things like babysitting)   two. do you have family meals when it’s someones birthday?   we go out to eat somewhere nice-ish. are you comfortable talking to both your parents about sex and boys?   mom, sure, but i would never discuss sex with dad. have you ever wanted to be a teacher?   not at all. what do you think is overrated?   i don't really call things "overrated."  well-liked things are liked for a reason. what is underrated?   the band otep.  they should really be better known. can spiders jump?   yes, they can. there was a sculpture that was supposed to be displayed for a week in the rockefeller center in nyc of a falling woman - designed as a memorial to those who jumped or fell to their death from the world trade center. it was complained about as grotesque, inappropriate and describe as 'not art.’ what do you think?   who says something grotesque cannot be art?  it was absolutely art and carried with it a heavy message.  it shouldn't have been censored by not showing it. has anyone ever mistaken you for a satanist?   with my wardrobe, probably. what did you see today that was beautiful in an ordinary way?   i saw my best friend. are you dyslexic?   no sir. do you agree with the people who say that everyone is bi-sexual even if they don’t want to admit it?   heard that before, and it's bullshit. if you are the only human on the planet of the apes do you have sex with an ape?   ugh, no. do you believe that black people should get money to make up for their previous enslavement?   ... the fuck is this?  no???  look, i am in no way racist or anything, but there is no reason to pay african americans because of past mistreatment?  like, that shit's done and over with? have you ever tried to write poetry or song lyrics?   poetry, yeah. do you like men who have a sensitive side?   it's like.  mandatory for me. dangly earrings, hoop earrings, simple studs, or no earrings at all?   hmmm, studs. would you ever wear black lipstick? do you know anyone who does?   i do sometimes. do you lecture people about drugs?   if one prompts me too, yes. if you could pick the temperature of the outdoors for the rest of your life, what would it be?   like... 49, maybe? who was the last person to call you babe?   probably colleen, potentially juan. do you have family problems?   yes. were you smiling when you woke up this morning?   who the fuck just wakes up smiling? do you like being in pictures?   while it's great to be included, i only really like it if i'm taking the picture, 'cuz i know how to flatter my face. do you sneak out?   at 21, i can't exactly "sneak out," but when i was a teenager, no, i never did. how would you spend a day at the beach?   in the ocean have you ever experienced altitude sickness?   nope. do you ever make a big deal out of nothing?  only constantly. have you ever written anything on a bathroom stall?  nope. are your hands unsteady?   yes, i have an essential tremor. are you scared of moving on?  FUCKING HORRIFIED. when talking on the phone, do you place it against your left or right ear?   right ear are you scared you’ll get a q-tip stuck inside your ear?   nope. do you use index cards to help you prepare for tests?   i never did. what’s your favorite flavor of sunflower seeds?   i don't like sunflower seeds. what's currently on your mind?   meh.  i feel... alone and unaccomplished.  i just found out a veeery old friend of mine is moving out with her girlfriend soon, and.  idk.  seeing her grow up like that makes me jealous.  i miss having another half, okay? what’s your favorite hairstyle on a guy?   kill me pls, bc i like emo/scene hair the most ;-; what color is your hairbrush?   hot pink have you ever dated someone with curly hair?   not full-blown curly, no.  very few of j's tips would be curly, but his hair overall was more wavy. how many of the people you’ve kissed have had brown eyes?   one. what’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever said to the person you like?   "i love you." are you currently in a “i wouldn’t mind if i lost 50 pounds” kind of mood?   losing 50 pounds would honestly be spectacular. are your parents religious?   yeah. would you like to have twins?   fuck no. if your best friend liked your last ex, what would you do?   oh, i'd tell her off. want to have kids before you’re 30?   it'd be ideal. has someone ever made a promise to you and broke it?   sure has. would you ever date anyone covered in tattoos?   sure. do you feel more comfortable with a male or female doctor/nurse?   female. are you interested in more than one person at the moment?   nope.