21

(ask game) thank you so much for playing the game!! you’re the best (per usual)!!

Helllll yeahhhhh 21 is the DUMBEST STUPIDEST fic I’ve ever made and I lovvveee it 💚💙❤️ it’s the “Vampire Zombie” one i mentioned in the original ask game post 😂😂

So glad someone picked the number!! Background to keep in mind: do yall remember when there was just a shit ton of Vampire fics on FFN?? Idk about ao3, but for newer fandom members this was TOTALLY a trend in the early 2000s on ffn, and I was like why the fuck are all of these here??? And like, why is it constantly a predator-prey relationship between the rrb and ppg??? So I was like wait…okay, but this could be funny and decided to write a story making fun of these super cringey stereotypes.

The story would be a multi fic and I have zero idea how to explain it concisely, so basically below the cut is just me laying it all out for you srsly I’m just bearing my soul to you:

For the girls’ birthday, the Professor tricks out the simulation room they train in to be a VR game room b/c the girls had talked about VR once (and only once), but the Professor thought it was cool and ran with it. The Girls can create a world of their choosing and explore. They admit the idea is pretty cool and eventually start arguing where they should “go” first. Blossom suggests a historical era like the Victorian era/Bubbles suggests something romantic, where she hints at vampires/Buttercup doesn't like any of those ideas, but the vampires reminded her of all of her zombie videogames she plays and she ends up suggesting something like that instead/ To prevent arguing the Professors says he’ll combine all three ideas into one!

[[how does this machine work??? IDK in the spirit of early 2000 fanfics, anything complicated and confusing is only vaguely explained—which has in story effects that drive Blossom INSANE! Idk how it would work technically, but my choices as the writer on what is/is not describe and purposeful grammar mistakes has story implications] [ill explain this more later]]

The Professor loads up the “game,” but something malfunctions. He tells the girls (Buttercup) not to touch anything. She doesn't listen and ends up plugging something into an entirely different device against Blossom & Bubbles protest. The device is that old “time machine” thing the Professor made in one of the OG cartoon (the one where the girls meet the Young Professor). It turns out that whatever she does (again still don't ask me how) fuses the basic concept of the two machines together and creates a device that transports them to a parallel universe that matches the specifications of the “game” they wanted to create.

[[Throughout the story, i want to include little video game gags, like bottomless bags for storage, or random bullets laying around, little things like that. (they've lost their powers/ but BC keeps finding all these random guns/knifes so they're good) I also give the girls the “ability” to read the dialogue I write. So, when I mess up a comma (i.e. Let’s eat Grandma! vs Let’s eat, Grandma!), Blossom will look at the “character” they’re talking to and be like, “WELL, which is IT!?”] [I know it’s stupid, but I think its so fun!]]

So, because of the video game “glitch,” the girls think for the longest time they’re actually IN a video game, but when they “go to sleep” thinking that’ll save the game and they can quit, per Professor’s instruction, they find out they can’t. Cue freak out. After the calm down, Buttercup’s like okay, listen we probably just have to beat the game! Too bad they don’t know what the game’s objective is exactly. They just know they’re dressed in Victorian Era clothes and their “Professor” is the town’s doctor? Their mother died (tragically). It’s all a bit dramatic. They start searching for clues. Eventually, they find out that the Town has a zombie problem (THANKS BUTTERCUP!), and Blossom figures if they can cure that, they beat the game. Unbeknownst to them, they are actually stuck in a stupid vampire love plot there just happens to be zombies. [Like, you can’t have one supernatural creature without another and I wasn’t going to write about werewolves.] No one in town seems to care about the undead problem. Buttercup keeps “leveling up,” Blossom’s on the verge of a breakdown, and then, finally, Bubbles meets Boomer.

Boomer swears up and down Bubbles is his fated mate. Bubbles—who is definitely interested—is like ooo so you’re a vampire, cutie? He’s broody about it. She’s like so do you sparkle in the sun?? (I absolutely love sparkles, she says). He’s like, wut?? She’s like, do you sparkle???? He’s like, uh no, the sun kind of burns my energy tho. She’s like, oh. Okay. I see. You don’t sparkle. Sooo, well, haha, okay you seem like a really really sweet guy with the whole eternal devotion thing, but I don’t think this is really going to work out between us. He’s again like WUT. Boomer gets broken up with because he doesn’t sparkle.

Vampire Butch is flat out scared of Buttercup. Like he fully admits he’s sucked infants dry of their blood; he’s why people should fear the night; he’s not a “good guy”; but BC is a force to be reckoned with. In the Victorian era, I’m guessing they had little to no experience with the modern day “bro” and BC is full on bro. This doesn’t mesh well with Butch’s broody, dark, vampire thing he’s got going on. She’s too vulgar for a Victorian lady, she wears things called “Chacos,” and she has a gun??? Multiple guns. And He. Has. No. Fucking. Idea. What. She. Is. Saying!! No! He will not “dab her up!” No, he “doesn’t lift.” This wasn’t his mysterious, tough (but still a damsel, mind you) mate he met one fateful evening, this was some heathen creature (and this is coming from a vampire), so please, please, please, can he kill her?????  

Blossom’s like I don’t like to be touched and I’m a lesbian, and Brick’s like one) I think I respect you more than the old Blossom; two) the zombies just appeared, stop asking; three) you need to now help us find our mates before their eighteenth birthday or we’re all screwed.

Ready to kick ass and fight sexist stereotypes with their new “bros,” the girls set out with their new objective, hoping beyond hope that once they find the missing girls they’ll be able to go home. The girls find out that their parallel alternatives went disappearing a few days ago, so their “return” had been a relief to the whole town. [[Blossom’s like why did no one question our clothing?!?! Why are there zombies?!?!]] ugh and then, I don’t know what happens :( really. I never really ended it. They girls just constantly shit on the boys being broody vampires and kick zombie ass, like idk what else a gal could want out of a story. I feel like they end up finding the other girls. And I think that I was going to bring HIM into the mix, but it’s still just regular HIM. It turns out that HIM likes jumping dimensions to make the Girls life hell in every lifetime and has cursed the three girls living in the vampire dimension. (“I’ve got a life outside of just you, ya know.” HIM huffed, “What are you three doing here?”) It also turns out that out of all the dimensions, our Girls as Superheroes are the best at beating HIM and saving the day, so he’s extra pissy that they’re ruining his carefully crafted “historical romance vampire soap opera.” Blossom loses her shit because the historical inaccuracies are too high to now ignore, Bubbles is pissed because HIM didn’t make good enough vampires, and Buttercup’s like honestly, not a bad game, ngl. Everyone ignores her.

[[They beat HIM, free the other girls, return home, and BC obsesses over their stats sheets. Back in Vampire land, the boys are like wait a second the relationships we are now stuck in suck.] [The zombies are still not explained]]

So I came across this on quora. 'Hermione doesn’t care about Ron’s insecurity. We see this throughout the entire series-she will speak her mind, whether it hurts him or not. She just assumes he will be logical and unemotional about it, and take it just as a way to explaining Harry’s popularity. She doesn’t care about Ron’s inferiority complex. That’s why they’re a terrible couple' Thoughts??

Hmmmm. 

Well, this reasoning for them not liking Ron and Hermione as a couple actually makes more logical sense than the old ‘Ron doesn’t deserve Hermione’ chestnut. 

The sad thing is… I can completely understand this viewpoint. 

Because there is quite a lot of evidence to suggest that Hermione doesn’t realise just how extreme Ron’s insecurities and self-doubts actually go. From her perspective, Ron’s just a bit insecure because of his brothers and Harry. But here’s the main problem; this understanding of Ron’s insecurities that Hermione has never actually changes in the book series. 

In the books, Hermione never realises just how insecure Ron actually is. Heck, no-one in the series really understands just how bad Ron’s insecurities are. Harry is the sole exception to this, and even then he only found out because of the Horcrux locket. 

Like you quoted, Hermione does have a tendency to assume Ron will be logical and un-emotional about discussing Harry’s fame. Just look at the way she went on about Harry’s supposed-fanciableness in HBP whilst ignoring Ron completely.  To her, it’s just facts and logic. But what she doesn’t realise is that Ron is the complete opposite of her in that respect. To him, emotions and feelings hold far more sway, and a throwaway line from Hermione can leave a devastating impact on Ron’s already low self-worth. She would never even realise that he would internalise it; she calls him ‘stupid’ in a middle of a row, and he’ll be thinking about it three months later, beating himself up about it. 

I wouldn’t say that Hermione doesn’t care about Ron’s inferiority complex. She knows that he has it and wants to help him (she even points this out in Harry in GOF), but the main problem is that she doesn’t realise just how deep his complex goes. Her understanding is that Ron’s inferiority complex is based purely on being over-looked compared to his brothers and (later on) Harry. To her, it’s a simple idea that Ron struggles with, but he will overcome because he must know how much people care about. 

Unfortunately, what Hermione fails to realise is that not only does Ron have these insecurities about being over-shadowed, but that he honestly thinks he IS (and always WILL be) completely eclipsed by his brothers and Harry. Ron genuinely thinks he’ll never match up. And- honestly- he has very little evidence to deny that people seem to care less about him than they do about those around him. 

His mother favours Percy, Harry and Ginny, and it probably didn’t escape Ron’s notice that his parents stopped having children after Ginny. There’s an elephant in the room when it comes to Ron’s existence; the fact that his parents (especially Molly) were hoping for a girl, but instead got Ron. 

Ron cares so much for Harry, but it’s no secret that Molly treats Harry far better than she treats Ron. That’s not to say that Molly doesn’t love Ron, but the horcrux wasn’t wrong when it said he was the “least loved” of his siblings. Deep down, I think Ron genuinely thought (for most of his young life) that he was an after-thought to Molly, from the clothing she gave him (the maroon jumpers and his horrible second-hand robes) to the way she rarely takes his opinion into account. 

There’s also Hermione herself. Ron genuinely loves Hermione warts-and-all, and he’s constantly showing her appreciation (going beyond even the normal level that friends typically give each-other. But Hermione rarely reciprocates this appreciation. Hermione doesn’t realise that Ron actively needs appreciation to maintain his self-worth (since he has so little self-confidence), and therefore, she rarely makes the same effort that Ron shows to her. There’s also the fact that she was terrified that showing appreciation for him in any way would alert him to her feelings, resulting in the possibility that he might not feel the same way. 

Add in Ron’s growing romantic feelings for her as the series progresses, and you’ve got a perfect recipe for Ron’s self-worth getting repeatedly pummelled into the ground. To Ron, Hermione acts like she considers him an idiot, and that she doesn’t show him the same affection that he shows her, meaning that she clearly only sees him as a friend and nothing more. 

Combine this with the fact that Hermione (like Harry) gets a lot of attention at Hogwarts. She’s the brightest witch in the year, and the teachers (bar Snape) are constantly showing her praise. And Ron loves this about Hermione; he loves her intelligence. But he also understands that he is constantly pushed into the background whenever the golden trio are in public. Harry’s the boy who lived, and Hermione is the brightest witch of her age. So why’s this random redheaded boy hanging round them; what does he even contribute? 

Hermione thinks Ron’s inferiority complex is based around how he compares himself to Harry and his brothers, but she doesn’t realise that it’s also based on how he sees himself compared to her. Next to her, what are his talents? Where’s his ambition? Why does she even bother hanging around him? She’s a shining star; how could he ever compare to her? 

It’s hard enough being in love, but it’s even worse when you believe the person you love is your superior in every way. 

From an early age, Ron learns that he’s never going to get attention, so he might as well just give up. What’s the point in trying if no-one even notices when you succeed? 

Therefore, it’s impossible for Ron to overcome his insecurities in the way that Hermione thinks he can. To her, he should because he should know how much people care about him. But to him, there is very little evidence to suggest people actually do care about him. He’s never a priority for anyone (aside from Harry and Hermione), and-even then- on the occasions where Ron needs that support, neither Harry and Hermione seem to actively care (Ron getting his prefect badge, both Harry and Hermione missing him winning the Quidditch cup so they could see Gwamp). Ron is the support role in the trio, but he barely ever receives that same support back from his friends. 

This is what Hermione doesn’t understand about Ron’s inferiority complex; that he honestly thinks he’s useless, worthless and unwanted. That no-one would look at him twice. Why would they; when everyone-else is so much better at everything that he is? 

Unless Hermione began to understand this in the post-second war period, I’m honestly not sure how their relationship-as-it-was-DH would survive. There is the worrying potential that their relationship could become toxic. With Ron never standing up for himself and Hermione refusing to compromise at all, it’s a recipe for potential disaster. 

That’s why I love fanfics that explore Hermione realising just how bad Ron’s insecurities are, and growing as a person due to this understanding. It’s only a recent phenomenon in Romione fanfiction, and would have been inconceivable in the 2000s, when Ron-bashing was at it’s zenith and most Romione fanfics had the ‘Ron is the idiot that Hermione clears up after’ dynamic going on. Thankfully, the RWDS happened, and people are becoming more aware of how badly the character was previously treated in fanfiction. 

I hope that answered your question, @istanronweasley; apologies for going into a rant about this, but I’ve been wanting to get this analysis off my chest for a while. 

Thanks for the ask! 

What's your most comforting, guilty pleasure headcanon for Gravity Falls? The thing that may have little to no impact or may be foundational but either way is just FUZZY and GOOD

A while ago I wrote this Fanfic called A Midsummer Nightmare, and there’s a quiet little scene where Ford and Mabel read A Wrinkle In Time together and bond over the novel, so from that I made a list of headcanons of the Main Cast’s favorite books from when they were children. Some of my fondest childhood memories involved reading of some kind, so it’s nice imagining these characters curled up somewhere with a book.

Dipper: He was probably that kid who like any of the second tier 90’s to early 2000’s children series– things like Animorphs, Redwall, Wayside School, etc. God, I can picture this kid getting into a heated debate with some other sweaty nerd kid about why Artemis Fowl is a better written and more engaging character than Harry Potter.

Mabel: I can see her liking The Baby Sitter’s Club a lot, just anything with a rag tag bunch of friends being fabulous together would be perfect for her.

Stan: I could see him trying to read Charlotte’s Web once in third grade, but gave up reading forever because that dumb stupid book made him cry about a freaking spider, that is unacceptable! Ends up missing out on a world of Hardy Boys novels and Pulp Detective Stories all because E.B. White couldn’t let the Spider live.

Wendy: Any book where a plucky kid ends up in danger and needs to rely on their wits to come out on top– Nancy Drew, Coraline, maybe even A Series of Unfortunate Events.I also low key headcanon her reading Across the Wide and Lonesome Prairie: The Oregon Trail Diary of Hattie Campbell from the Dear America series, otherwise know as the most hardcore children’s book to ever exist in a series of hardcore children’s books– the body count of named characters is astounding and gruesome, and only Wendy is badass enough to handle it.

Soos: I see him as the kid who reads mostly graphic novels– things like Bone and Captain Underpants, probably owned at least one grungy Calvin And Hobbes anthology.