#this is not a serious request i'm just struggling to find an adopter | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

redr0sewrites · 1 month

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(Tumblr kicked me out in the middle of me writing this ask I'm so sorry if you receive this twice 😭)

I JUST READ YOUR STRIKER HEADCANONS AND IM DROOLING RN

I think he likes it when you make him fight for it sometimes. He likes the power struggle. Wrestle with him in bed, make him hold you down, make him tie your wrists together to keep you from flipping him over. If he wants to dom you, make him earn it.

Also? Heavy on the gunplay. It's never loaded of course and you have a safeword should you ever need it, but seeing that little twinge of fear in your eyes when you realize you can't keep fighting him, he won, you're powerless, AND he has a gun pressed against your temple? Delicious. Makes him feel strong.

Could I maybe request something like this?

yes oh my god this is literally what i was thinking when i made those hcs NONNIE U READ MY MIND ♥️

🥀Cw: smut, a bit of fluff, established relationship/consent, reader is gn but there is one use of m'am/sir, powerplay, scratching, biting, gun kink, overall filth

🥀minors dni

you collapse against the bed as striker pins you down, beating you easily in yet another wrestling match. the mattress dips from your combined weight, and striker used the opportunity to lean down, whispering against your neck. the combination of thefeeling of his breath ticking your sensitive skin and his raspy voice makes you shjver. "aww, how sweet," striker coos, mockingly tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. "did ya really think y'could beat me, poppet?" you squirm beneath him, his hips planted firmly above you with his thighs caging you in place. you buck your hips upwards, eliciting a hiss from striker as you grind against his prominent buldge. his tail rattles slightly, curling up around your thigh as, with one hand, he grabs you wrists and pins them down above your head.

"fucking brat," striker spat, using his free hand to grab your face, forcing you to look at him. his cowboy hat tipped forward, falling of his head as he leaned down to kiss you messily. you giggle when the hat falls to the side, but the giggle soon melts into a moan as striker grinds down against you. "fuck, doll, look what you do t'me.." striker murmurs against your lips, and you let him slip his tongue into the cavern of your mouth as the hand on your face travels down to your neck.

suddenly, with all your might, you push up against him, attempting to flip him over onto his back. striker lets out a throaty chuckle, tsking when you whine out his name. "y'wanna be on top, sugar? too damn bad," his voice transcends into a growl as he makes quick work of your pants and undergarments. he pulls apart from you to quickly undress himself, and while you remove your top, you also use the time to admire his toned body. "like what ya see?" striker smirks, crawling on top of you again, his hands finding purchase on your supple thighs. he gives your ass an appreciative squeeze before gently teasing your entrance with a finger. "y'ready?" he asks, his voice adopting a softer, serious tone. "if ya want to stop, we always can." you smile, grabbing his hand and pulling it closer to your needy hole. "i know, striker. and i know what i want- i want you, and i want you to touch me." the corner of his mouth twitches, fighting off a crazed grin. "y'really are such a doll, y'know that?" striker whispers huskily, plunging a finger into you. you gasp at the pleasurable intrusion, soon accompanied by a second finger as he stretches you out.

"o-oh! ffuck-" you gasp, keening as he curls his fingers with mind numbing accuracy. striker brushes your hair out of your eyes, watching your face twist in pleasure as you pant. he can feel you practically sucking in his fingers, and a sudden idea strikes him. "open up," striker commands, grabbing his gun from the bedside table. your hole clenches around his fingers and you throb at the sight of the weapon. without hesitation you open your mouth, drool pooling on the edge of your lips as he shoves the gun into your mouth. you gasp, shocked by the cold sensation of the metal against your tongue. you can feel your orgasm approaching fast, the coil in your abdomen squeezing tighter by the second.

suddenly, striker pulls his hand away, relishing in the muffled, needy whimper that slips past your lips. "aw, d'worry poppet," he chuckles, pumping his cock a few times before aligning himself with your hole. "i'd never leave ya unsatisfied". striker thrusted in slowly, watching as your aching hole swallows his cock in a vice-like grip. "o-oh!" you gasp airily, thighs clamping around his waist as you claw down his back. striker begins to move, slowly but surely thrusting into you as you adjust to his size. it takes everything in him not to loose all restraint and fuck you senseless, especially with the way your moaning his name like a prayer. your hole was tightening around him and your wanton moans grew louder and louder, signifying that you were close.

you clench around him impossibly tight, the pleasure becoming almost unbearable. "striker- oh fuucnghh-" you gasp, your words muffled by the gun stil in your mouth as the coil in your abdomen snaps. your mind went perfectly blank as you ride out your high, striker cursing up a storm as his orgasm follows immediately after you. he pulls out, spilling his seed onto your stomach and chest.

striker gently pulls the gun from your mouth as you come down from your euphoric high, wiping the tears from the corner of your eyes and gently massaging your sore jaw.

"y'okay, bubs?" striker asked, gently cupping your face as he collapses beside you. "mhm," you murmur, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to his nose. "just a lil' tired..." striker chuckles at your reply, gently kissing your forehead. suddenly, an idea struck you, and you crawl on top of him. striker watches you with amusement as you straddle him, his teeth glinting in the moonlight streaming in from outside your window.

"not too tired for round two, i see," striker snarks, and you shush him. "if you want to cum, then i suggest you stop talking," you reply, and striker swallows hard. "yes m'am/sir," he whispers, wetting his lips as you grind down against him. "i promise i'll behave," he murmurs, eyes glistening with lust as his hands travel to grip your thighs. "we'll see about that," you reply, already knowing your in for a long night.

I HAD TO HYPE MYSELF UP FOR THIS ONE 😭 this will probably have a pt2 w sub striker cuz i cant resist the opportunity- sorry i haven't posted in like a week ive been fighting demons (anxiety and burnout 😭) but i really wanted to finish this! i have a few more wips that will be posted soon, and im considering adding marvel/the mcu to the list of fandoms i write for cuz ive been falling back into my marvel phase lmao. ANYWAYSSSS I HOPE U ENJOYED!!!!

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the-awkward-outlaw · 4 years

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Hii, I'm actually sad-sweet-cowboah and I've always wanted to request something from you! How about modern AU, Arthur surprises reader with a horse she's been really eyeing for a while? Maybe it doubles as a cute proposal? (and just for reference, a gorgeous golden Palomino Quarter Horse!)

Ah I’m so glad you sent this in to me! This was a lot of fun, and Arthur is fucking adorable! 16/10 best boyfriend/husband material, you cannot change my mind! (Will someone make that into a meme?) Anyways, have fun!

Masterlist

Read on AO3

(BTW, Arthur’s hot as hell in this pic.....)

Arthur stands on the deck of his house, lost in thought. He really should be in the barn, finishing up the last of the day’s work, but he’s worried. You should’ve been home half an hour ago and yet he still hasn’t heard from you. He’s texted you, but nothing. Maybe you’re just stuck in traffic.

You and Arthur have lived together for over a year, and been dating for over two years. He remembers how he convinced you to move in with him, as you’d been adamant. Hell, it’d been hard enough to get you to date him.

When you both first met, it was like a spark between you. However, you were scared of taking the next step with him, as you were just a natural loner. Not only that, you’d been alone for so long you didn’t think there would be anyone who wanted to be with you. So when Arthur asked you to be his girlfriend, you almost ran off, sure he was pulling your leg. However, something told you that you needed to be brave, to take the leap, so you did.

About 8 months later, Arthur really wanted you to move in with him on his little ranch, tucked in a canyon not too far from a small mountain town. But again, you were hesitant. It’s not that you didn’t love him, just the opposite in fact. You were so in love, you were constantly terrified that you’d mess up, that he’d end up hating you when you ended up living together. The last thing you wanted was to mess this up.

Then, shortly after your first year anniversary, the Coronavirus pandemic hit and everyone was sent into quarantine. Luckily you were able to work remotely, so you didn’t lose much money. It was nice working from home, you could stay in your pj’s all day, not worry about makeup, none of that stuff. But you missed seeing your boyfriend and he missed you. The two of you did plenty of video chats, but it wasn’t the same. You couldn’t smell him, hug him, touch him, kiss him… nothing. You tried doing some video sex, but you got outrageously uncomfortable doing it over video chat (what if some hacker got in?), and Arthur wasn’t all that comfortable either.

Those 60 days were some of the longest and loneliest of your life. You would’ve easily gone to his home and see you, but his little town wanted absolutely no outsiders to come in, so they blocked the roads, preventing you and Arthur from visiting. When quarantine was lifted, that was when you decided to move in with Arthur. After all, you didn’t know if there would be another one. You could work remotely, only having to go into the office a couple times a month for meetings, so the work situation with you was easy enough.

That was over a year ago, and despite your fears that the two of you would end up breaking up after a few months, the opposite happened. Your relationship grew beyond what you thought and the two of you have never been more in love. Sure, there’s been a few arguments, but nothing bad enough to break things off. For the most part, you and Arthur get along famously.

Arthur sighs again, still feeling worried. Today was one of the days you had to go into the office for meetings. They never run past five, and the office is nearly an hour away, but it’s nearly eight in the evening. You should definitely be home by now. You must be stuck in traffic, which is why you’ve not answered any of his texts. He pulls out his phone and dials your number. Why he didn’t do this earlier is beyond him.

A few rings go by and you finally pick up. “Hey, babe,” you say.

He smiles. “Hey, darlin’. Just worried about ya. Everything okay?”

“Yeah. Just a big accident on the freeway. I stopped and got dinner too since it’s late. Should be home in like ten minutes.”

“Good. Kiss ya when I see ya,” he says and hangs up. That’s always how he says good bye to you over the phone and you love it.

Like clockwork, ten minutes go by and you pull into the driveway. He walks out of the house to greet you, pulling you into a tight hug and kissing you like he always does. He wants to tell you so badly what he’s got planned, but it’s gotta be a surprise. Under no circumstance can he spoil it. Not like this.

After dinner, the two of you cuddle up on the couch and watch a show before going to bed. He can tell you’re exhausted. These meeting days are your least favorite and they always wipe you out. Arthur cradles your head to his chest as you lie in bed. Within seconds, he hears you snore softly, making him smile. He goes back to thinking about tomorrow.

Arthur’s owned this ranch for most of his life. It wasn’t always his though. He grew up here with his adopted fathers, Hosea and Dutch. However, Hosea was killed very suddenly a few years ago in a car crash after he’d been hit by a drunk driver. His death had been so sudden that it hit Dutch extremely hard. Dutch ended up just vanishing one day, driven by grief and confusion. Arthur hasn’t seen him since.

The ranch fell into his hands after Dutch disappeared. He secretly hopes that maybe Dutch will come back someday, if he’s still alive that is. He’d love you two to meet, as he’s sure Dutch would like you better than his last serious girlfriend Mary.

His thoughts drift to her and he feels even more nervous. He’d been engaged to her for three months before she’d broken it off. She claimed it was because she hated his location, that she wanted to live in the city, not some small mountain town where everything was far away. Perhaps that was true, but he suspected there was more to it than that. After all, when Mary’s father discovered that Arthur had two fathers, he was extremely upset that Mary was dating someone raised by homosexuals. He’s always suspected that her father had a big reason behind why they broke up. Not only that, but he wonders if she was seeing a guy on the side. How could she go from being engaged to being in a new relationship only three weeks after they broke up? Good riddance, though, he thinks. He loves you a hundred times more than he ever loved her.

You’ve never cared about his upbringing, stating that Hosea and Dutch were at least good parents to him. You’ve known far too many heterosexual parents who were awful, and how many gay couples are out there who’d love to have kids and be the best parents. You weren’t in contact with your parents anymore (he still didn’t even know what they look like), so they aren’t an issue.

Arthur starts thinking about how sad and lonely your life has been. How you spent so many years alone and how you believed you’d die alone. He’s so grateful for having met you. You don’t deserve to die alone, you’re too good of a person. He kisses your head as you sleep, overwhelmed with his sense of love for you. A smile makes its way to his lips as he thinks about tomorrow.

Over the past year, as you’ve grown more comfortable to ranch life, you’ve been thinking about maybe getting your own horse. Arthur has a few that you’re certainly welcome to, of course, but you’ve been wanting one to call your own for a while now. A few weeks ago, you’d both been in town to go to the one grocery store there. As the truck went down the highway and passed another ranch, you saw the signs “horses for sale”. In the pasture was a beautiful palomino quarter horse. It looked like it was made of gold as it grazed in the sun. You begged Arthur to stop the truck and just go see the horse.

He pulled over, unable to resist your excitement, and you went to the fence. The palomino, along with most of its pasture mates, came over to investigate you and Arthur. You patted her nose and Arthur could tell you were already in love with her. However, he had no idea what her temperament was like, so he came up with a plan.

On the days when you had to go to meetings, Arthur went to the horse’s owner to ask questions and get acquainted with the horse. She was young, only three, but the owner had raised her and trained her himself. He invited Arthur to go on a trail ride using her so he could see how good of a riding horse she was. After only twenty minutes on her, Arthur knew she was perfect for you. She responded to his lightest touch and command. After the trail ride, Arthur bought her, but he kept her at her former owners so you wouldn’t see her too soon.

Yesterday, while you’d been gone, Arthur went and picked the horse up and brought her back. She didn’t have a name yet, but he wanted you to have that privilege. The man who raised her called her Sierra, but he knew that was your mother’s name and you were unlikely to keep it as you had no desire to see her for as long as he’s known you. He struggles to fall asleep, feeling like a kid on Christmas, excited to show you his gift. He’s also terrified as he’s going to use the horse as a segway for the biggest decision of his life.

************************************************

The next morning, Arthur gets up much earlier than usual. He’s normally up a bit past sunrise so he can feed the animals and get an earlier start on cleaning before it gets hot. This morning, though, you wake up at the crack of dawn and find his side of the bed empty. After grabbing a cup of coffee, you go out and find him just finishing feeding the chickens.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he says, a big grin on his face.

You say good morning and he comes over, leaning across the fence so he can kiss you.

“Hey, I got a couple more chores to do, but once they’re done, I got somethin’ to show ya.”

“Okay, I’ll help. What needs to be done?”

He smiles, loving how willing you always are to help him out. It makes his life a lot easier. He struggles though, as most of the remaining chores were in the stables with the horses, including yours.

“Um… well, why don’t you go through the chicken coop, see about eggs.”

You nod and go off to grab the collecting basket. Arthur asks you to finish feeding the chickens as well so he can go into the stable. After collecting nearly a dozen eggs and placing them in the egg storage so they can be sold this weekend, you brush off your hands and start heading into the stables. Arthur darts out, slightly sweaty from his work.

“Woo, it’s hot. Hey baby, um, maybe you can go get us some drinks?” he says. His tone is weird, like he’s hiding something.

“Um… okay. Everything okay?”

“Everythin’s just fine.” He kisses you again real quick and then shoots back into the stables.

After retrieving two beer bottles, you go out to find Arthur in the paddock, which is attached to the right side of the barn so the horses can go in and out of their stalls. He’s wringing his gloved hands a bit, but smiles when he sees you. What is going on with him?

“Thanks, darlin’,” he says when you go into the pen and hand him his beer. Instead of opening it, he places it onto a post of the fence. “I wanted to show you somethin’.”

He looks to the barn and whistles. Odd, he’s looking at one of the stalls that’s been empty the entire time you’ve lived here. Something snorts and out walks the golden horse you’d been admiring for the past few weeks. You gasp and put your hands over your mouth.

“Arthur, is that…?”

“She’s yours, sweetheart. I took her for a ride a while ago, she’s a good horse.”

The filly walks over to you and snorts in greeting, stretching her neck out to bump her nose to your hand. Tears leak out of your eyes as you start rubbing her neck, going down to her withers.

“Arthur, she’s beautiful!”

He chuckles softly and walks over to hug you, grinning as you bury your face into his chest. God, you couldn’t ask for a sweeter boyfriend.

“Thank you so much, Arthur! I love her.”

“Good. What’s her name?”

“Did she not have one before?”

He tells you what her name used to be, but as he predicted, you don’t like it. You think for a moment, studying her golden coat. She swishes her silver tail.

“Maybe… Freyja? I know you like having names of gods and goddesses for your horses.”

Arthur chuckles as he thinks about his two favorite horses, Boadicea and Artemis. “If that’s what you want, darlin’. She’s your horse though, you name her whatever feels right.”

You look at her and smile. “Freyja feels right.”

Freyja snorts, not giving a single damn about her name. Her eyes are soft as you pat her neck again.

“Well, why don’t we groom miss Freyja? Maybe you can ride her around the pasture, see how you like her.”

You nod and go into the stables to grab a brush and hoof pick. Freyja’s very patient as you groom her, standing still as you clean out her feet. Arthur hauls out the heavy saddle after you throw on her saddle blanket and grab her bridle. After cinching on the saddle and adjusting the stirrups, Arthur says, “Oh I forgot somethin’, hold on.”

He goes into the stables as you pat the horse’s neck again, anxious to hop into the saddle. He comes back out, empty handed and looking frustrated.

“I thought I left it in there,” he grunts, coming back over to you.

“What you looking for?”

“A thing,” he says, ignoring you and shoving his hand into the saddle bag. “I thought I left it… ah ha! Don’t know how it got in there.”

He pulls his hand out and you see a small, velvety box. He brushes it off quickly and then holds it out to you.

“Sweetheart, I uh… I been thinking about doin’ this for a while. It would… it would mean a lot to me.”

You take the box, your stomach clenching. Is this a ring? Or is it something else and you’re just being hopeful? Your heart pounding in your ears, you open the box and see the ring. You gasp. It’s not a diamond, you always hated diamonds. Too common and overpriced. Instead, it’s a silver band, the metal engraved with fancy, swooping curls, a gem in your favorite color perched on top.

“Arthur?” you say, your voice squeaking as you take out the ring.

He clasps your hands in his, the ring nestled in your palm. “I wanna marry ya, sweetheart. You… well, you’re more than I could ever hope for in a companion. I never thought I’d wanna marry someone again after Mary…” he looks down and swallows. You know all about her of course. “But that was until I fell in love with you. There’s no doubt in my mind that I wanna spend the rest of my life with you.”

Fresh tears are cascading down your cheeks. You look at the ring again and Arthur’s suddenly afraid you’ll say no, or that you’re not ready. He worries that he might have to try and talk you into this like he had when he wanted to date you and then have you move in. He doesn’t want to do that with this though. Just as his stomach begins to sink, you smile up at him.

“Yes, Arthur. I will marry you, a thousand times.”

He smiles, swallowing a wave of his own tears and cups your cheek. He takes the ring and slides it onto your finger, then he presses his forehead to yours. For several moments, you both stand there in this position, letting the world go by as you bask in one another’s presence. You slide a hand over his neck, wanting to be even closer to him, your future husband.

Suddenly something shoves your shoulder hard and it’s followed by a loud snort. Arthur chuckles, pulling away from you. “Think Freyja wants your attention again.”

You laugh and kiss him before facing your horse and climbing into the saddle (with his help of course). You adjust yourself in the saddle, sliding both feet into the stirrups. Arthur pats your thigh and tells you to just walk around the pen so that you and Freyja can get acquainted with the feel of one another.

As Arthur watches you walk with your horse, he feels a sense of excitement and contentment. Excited for the future, of course, but he’s never been so sure about anything as he is about this. Marrying you is the only thing he could do, he’s never wanted anything more.

#rdr2 fanfic #red dead fanfic #arthur morgan #arthur morgan x female reader #awkward asks

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obeymematches · 4 years

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'Ello, may i request a matchup ? I'm 5'0 entp, Sanguine-Melancholic female with dark hair and tan skin. I'm a bit masculine or tomboyish in the way i act around people and also i like to dress comfy and casual with pants. I can be quite active and forward with people, but when i meet someone's older/senior i can be quite passive. I'm talkative and bubble, i always talk, smile, laugh and jokes a lot with people around me, showing them cat memes and stuff. It seems that i've lot of energy(1/?) 🤖

I like to do art, such as drawing (both digital and traditional), making stories and comic about them, also 2D animations. I'm currently taking an IT major, still a newbie in programming tho, but i'm getting there. Whenever i'm bored at both college or burnout on art, usually studying language, now i'm studying japanese. I always try to be productive, and sometimes it burns me out. When it happens, i become quiet, serious, and tired. Usually working out or cleaning the house works (2/?) 🤖 I love giving my friends and family advice or motivation in general. I also like to cheer them up with jokes/meme or making sure that they take care of themselves. Usually i'm not one to tell others when i'm feeling down, i use humor as coping mechanism and laugh to distract me from crying, even when crying. I hate crying and being sad, when i cry i get a massive headache for one or two days straight. So i usually just "forget" my feeling and focus more on my studies or arts. (3/?) 🤖 My love language is physical touch and words of affirmation. I like to hug my friends and family, also pats on the head too since i'm so short. I like sweet stuff to gain energy, open minded people, cats ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ, also i like discussing about many things from life philosophy to some cryptid weird things. I don't like spicy and food, also people that try to use others and discard them immediately. I have trust issue and have many close friends because of it despite being open to everyone (4/?) 🤖 For the partner, I just want someone who can handle my obnoxious side and patient when dealing with me because i can be an airhead sometimes so they have to be straight forward with me. For pda and boundaries stuff i will adapt myself to match their comfort and preference. Because, when i'm attached to someone, either friends or family i will do anything for them. Thank you so much for accepting this request, please have a nice day ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ -(5/5) 🤖

Hi!

Thank you for sending in a request! I hope you like the result!

Okay so I decided to match you with Satan!

I don’t think he really minds if you dress comfy instead of elegant or pretty so you shouldn’t feel pressure.

Lucky for him, he doesn’t apprear to be centuries old so it’s a bonus that you can open up to him easier.

Both of you are rather talkative so I imagine conversations to be engaging and lengthy!

However you’d win his heart over with cour own passion for cats and cat memes.

He also appreciates a creative s/o who can think outside the box. Just like you, he appreciates people with an open mind!

The fact that you write stories and comics is something he would be interested in! Sure, he might have a preference for books, but he just wants to hear the story you want to tell! I think he would be fascinated by your drawing! Though the latest event kinda showed how Belphie is the artist of the group, I think Satan also appreciates art a lot.

Satan really appreciates someone who takes being productive seriously, like I can’t really imagine him with someone who procastinates way too much. However, he would be concerned by your burn out as well. He would probably suggest you some inspiring stories that you may read if you feel like it.

He just needs someone to listen to him and give advice, as he can be a bit lost because of his feelings. It would be nice if he could have an honest conversation about his feelings with you. He also appreciates a mom friend/partner!

You could talk to him about programming or IT, I mean thats more of a human world thing so I don’t think he is all that familiar with it. But he always strives for knowledge, so it’s nice that you can talk to him about something he doesn’t have as much knowledge about.

Don’t forget that Satan is very good at observing and reading people and their character so your unmentioned struggles wouldn’t actually go unnoticed. He would be very quick to catch up if you are trying to hide your need for help. He would have a conversation with you about how you can count on him and how much he wants to help and you really shouldn’t do all this alone- he is your partner after all.

Sure he is known for struggling with his feelings but it’s not like he would let you bury your feelings too much. That is not good for your health and he wants the best for you!

It’s nice that you can change your ways about pda, I mean he loves to be close to you but only when theres no one to see it!

Satan is definitely a person you can discuss a wide range of topic with, so you really shouldn not hold back with talking!

I think he would pay special attention to the kind of food you like, and makes sure spicy food is never on the menu when he is on cooking duty!

He would definitely find your tendencies of being an airhead a cute thing that humans do sometimes. He wouldn’t make an issue out of being more straight forward with you at times.

He really appreciates your devotion to him and he will do anything to make sure you know he loves you a lot!

Don’t forget that he also loves cats a lot so adopting several cats in the future is something you would probably not be able to avoid.

#obey me #obey me!#swd obey me #obey me swd #obey me shall we date #obey me matchup #obey me satan #om! satan #satan obey me #satan om!

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hot-wiings · 5 years

Text

Requested By: Wattpad User

[Edited: 8-15-19]

You sat at a lunch table in UA's cafeteria with the big three. By the big three, you meant Nemuri Kayama, Shota Aizawa, and your big brother, Hizashi Yamada.

Everyone thought it was weird that you were siblings, and despite what your big brother tells you, you were not adopted.

You were quiet and shy, whereas your brother was loud and rowdy. One of the only things you had in common was wanting to be heroes. He was Present Mic: The Loud Hero. You were [Insert Name]: The Quiet Hero.

Your brother made you sit with the big three because he was super protective of you. As loud and childish as he was, he was serious about one thing, you. Although, sitting with them did have its perks.

Being a first-year student, it gave you huge street cred. Plus you got to sit with Shota. However, everyone wanted to be your friend. But you were incredibly shy.

That didn't stop people from approaching you. Mix in your brothers protectiveness, and it became a game. An unspoken game called "Who can get Big Three' Hizashi's sister."

Shota and you made subtle eye contact from across the table. He was your boyfriend. Secret boyfriend. Your brother was super protective of you. You both knew if he found out you were with his best friend he'd be mad.

"We should go out tonight."

Nemuri, your best friend, and brothers girlfriend suggested the idea.

"That's a great IDEA!"

"We can double. Me and you, Shota and [Y/N]."

Your brother huffs and crosses his arms, while he glares at his girlfriend. She was always trying to set you and Shota up, if only she knew.

"[Y/N] is busy tonight."

You squeak out a reply to their conversation. As shy as you were, you would not pass up a date with Shota and a chance to annoy your brother.

"No, I'm not Hizashi."

"Well, your not coming."

He starts glaring at you.

"Why? You always tell me I should go out more."

"Not on DATES! Your not aloud to have a boyfriend!"

"You think I'm gonna ruin your sister Hizashi? We both know I'd rather take a nap."

You try to hide your smile thinking about all the times he could have slept with you, but instead, you napped together.

"Fine, we can all go out... But it's not an actual date for you."

You quietly grinned in the mirror as you got ready. You didn't dress up often, but you wanted to look pretty for Shota. It was your first public date since you always had to sneak around your brother.

Nemuri was in the room with you, laying in your bed, eating your chips, and going through your magazines.

"Look at you! Getting all sexy for Shota."

You blushed as you tried on a different blouse.

"I'm not sexy, especially not for Shota."

"OH please. I see the way you look at each other. You need to just get together."

You bite your lip and look away as you lie.

"He doesn't like me like that... Besides my brother would kill him."

"Your always saying Zashi' this and Zashi' that. Always the same excuse. It wouldn't surprise me if you two were just dating in secret."

"Don't be ridiculous. Hahaha, hahaha..."

You blush as you struggle to come up with a convincing lie.

"OH MY GOD. YOU ARE!"

"Quiet! Your being as loud as Zashi'"

"When did this happen? Ooh, I need details!"

She whisper yelled to you, excited as a kid in a candy store.

"You know I'm shy, and you guys are my only friends... Well Shota was walking me to class, and some boys tried bothering me. He took care of them, and well, we just started getting closer. Until one day, he kissed me."

"That's so cute."

"Please don't tell Zashi' he can't know. He'll freak."

"Don't worry, I won't. You're my best friend. But you should tell him. The longer you hide it, the more upset he'll be."

You all arrive at the restaurant together and sit down. You next to Nemuri and across from Shota. Shota next your boyfriend who was across from Nemuri.

Hizashi grumbles.

"I don't see why we had to double date, its just like sitting at a lunch table. Just fancier."

Nemuri glares and yells at him. While their getting heated at each other, you decide to get heated yourself.

Slightly blushing, you make a risky maneuver. You pull your left foot out of your deadly contraption called high heels, and lightly touch your foot to Shota.

You slide your foot, from his ankle and drag it up to his leg. Smiling innocently at him as you do it. However, he doesn't seem phased.

Maybe you should move your foot higher?

Your glad you hadn't moved it higher when you're brother starts to cough.

"Nemuri, what are you doing?"

You start to choke on your drink, as the realization that you had the wrong person sets in. Never, will you double date with your brother, ever again.

"I'm not-"

You stomp on her foot, and she looks over at your rosey cheeks and realizes.

"NOT, going to stop! This is your punishment for being grumpy!"

Shota smirks at you and raises his eyebrows. Your blush deepens. Everyone knows what you did. Everyone except your clueless brother.

"[Y/N], are you okay? You're turning red!"

Shota teases you, and slides his own foot up your leg.

"Yeah [Y/N], you don't look so good."

"Must be something I ate."

"I should take her home Hizashi. You and Nemuri stay and enjoy your date."

Blushing even deeper as he took your hand. Shota led you to his car for an even more eventful night.

Shota pressed you up against the counter. Arms caging you in, one leg between your legs. His face was in your neck, trailing kisses.

"Awfully bold of you to play footsie in the restaurant."

You can feel him grin into your neck. Shota may be your boyfriend, but he loves to tease and torment you.

"It's not funny, it's embarrassing."

"Your face was funny."

You lay your head on his chest, and he runs his hands through your hair.

"He could have caught us."

"I know. No one can know, right? He'd kill us, more specifically me."

You let out a light, nervous chuckle.

"About that..."

"What did you do?"

He's looking you in the eyes now, and your eyes look around the room, avoiding his.

"I might have... Accidently... Told Nemuri about us."

"Nemuri has a mouth as loud as your brother. I'm a dead man."

"I'm sorry."

His hands crease your cheeks.

"It's okay, but maybe... Daddy should punish you."

He whispers it in your ear. His hot breath tickling your ear.

"How are you gonna punish me... Daddy?"

He picks you up and hoists you over his shoulder.

"Why don't we go to your bedroom to find out?"

He tosses you on your bed, and you strip. Smiling at him as he starts to undo the buckle of his pants.

He attacks your neck and breasts. Kissing and sucking. Leaving hickies.

The door to your bedroom bursts open, and Shota throws your sheet on top of you.

"Hey, [Y/N]- WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO My Sister!"

"He's not doing anything."

You squeak out while blushing. He glares and points at you.

"YOU! You said you were sick!"

"She is, I'm uh, checking her temperature."

"WITH YOUR PANTS AT YOUR ANKLES? GOD-DAMN. At least cover-up, I DON'T WANT YOUR TINY DICK ON DISPLAY WHILE I BEAT YOU."

You blush and look away as he pulls his pants up.

"Hizashi don't."

"DON'T? DON'T!? YOU EXPECT ME NOT TO HIT HIM? HE WAS DEFILING YOU!"

"He wasn't doing anything he hasn't done before. If I wanted him to stop, he would have."

Probably not the best words to use.

"You've done this before! You've been hiding this from me, he really is a DEAD MAN NOW!"

"STOP IT! You can't fucking dictate who I do and don't see. HE'S MY FUCKING BOYFRIEND. I LOVE HIM."

Shota and Hizashi are stunned. You were shy. You never swore, or yelled before.

"JESUS [Y/N]! You don't have to yell so loud, your getting louder than me."

You huffed, annoyed at him.

"I GUESS, I have been unfair to you. You can see Shota. Just, keep the door open three inch minimum. Keep the door open three inches at all times."

Hizashi leaves, and Shota immediately closes it with his scarfs. Ignoring Hizashi's yells and knocks.

"You love me?"

"I, uh, I was waiting for a better time to say it. But, um, yeah. I love you. Don't feel pressured to say it back."

"I love you. I love you as much as naps. Maybe even more."

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missmentelle · 5 years

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About that last ask; /184371235079 - I grew up completely sheltered in an abusive household where this interaction was the norm. I've done that to several people I've dated - I didn't know it was manipulation, because I have abandonment issues and little understanding of verbal or written language. I'm in therapy for my illness. I have bad communication skills because I'm on the spectrum. What are some healthy ways to describe when I'm struggling with feeling abandoned and I need reassurance?

(This is in reference to a recent ask where the poster’s boyfriend had accused her of not loving him, tried to dump her and then nearly proposed marriage in the same conversation)

I’m really sorry to hear that you had that kind of upbringing. It can be extremely difficult to recognize that certain behaviours are not okay if they were consistently presented to you as “normal” when you were growing up - and that’s definitely compounded when you have other issues with your communication and social skills. The good news is, these behaviours can be recognized and they can be changed, in ways that allow you to happier, healthier relationships. So if you consistently struggle with insecurity and you don’t want to be manipulative or abusive to your partner, remember:

Separate jealous and insecure actions from feelings. It is okay to feel jealous or to feel insecure. We’re all human, we all have those kinds of feelings, and we’re entitled to our emotions. What we’re not entitled to is to take those emotions out on our partners. It’s fine to sometimes worry about whether your partner is attracted to you; it’s not okay to accuse your partner of wanting to leave you. Not all feelings need to be acted upon - sometimes, it’s important to recognize “hey, I’m feeling this way, but it really wouldn’t be fair of me to take this out on my partner. I need to find a way to deal with this on my own”.

Take responsibility for your own insecurity. There is a huge, huge difference between saying “I am feeling insecure and I need extra reassurance right now” and telling your partner “you don’t actually love me”. In the first example, you are taking responsibility for your own feelings and communicating that you are the one experiencing a problem; in the second example, you are dumping all of your issues on your partner and treating them as if they’ve done something wrong. That’s not fair to them. It’s important to both recognize and communicate that you are the source of these feelings - because of your past experiences, traumas, mental illnesses, or all of the above - and that your partner isn’t the cause of the problem.

Communicate your needs ahead of time. If you know that you tend to struggle with insecurity in relationships, don’t hide the problem until it boils over into a big fight. Talk to your partner about the issue ahead of time, so that the two of you can find ways to make the relationship more comfortable for you. Think carefully about what you need in a relationship to make you feel loved. What would help you feel secure and cared for? Frequent text messages? Daily reminders of your partner’s feelings? Minimizing cell phone use when you’re together? Small public displays of affection? Your partner may not be able to accommodate all of your requests, but together, the two of you should be able to work out some reasonably strategies to keep feelings of abandonment and insecurity to a minimum.

Don’t feed your jealousy or insecurity. Jealousy and insecurity really are monsters; the more you feed them, the bigger they grow. Don’t go hunting for reasons to feel insecure. Stay out of your partner’s phone. Don’t comb through their social media pages multiple times per day. Don’t compare yourself to their exes. Doing these kinds of things only makes insecurities worse, and it starts a vicious cycle - you go on your partner’s phone, you see a friendly text from a friend that makes you feel a little threatened, so you dig further into their privacy, and you uncover more innocent things that set off your suspicions, so you monitor them more closely, and so on… until you eventually reach a point where you basically need to be constantly tracking your partner and getting constant reassurances in order to feel comfortable. That’s not a healthy situation for anyone. And ironically, this kind of behaviour can alienate your partner, which makes you want to track them even more, which pushes them further away, etc. Feeding your insecurities never makes them go away - if only makes them worse.

Remember that love is not control. Your partner is allowed to have friends - including friends of their preferred gender. They are allowed to spend time with those friends. They are allowed to not share their passwords or phone passcodes with you. When you are negotiating with your partner to try to minimize your abandonment issues, it’s always important to remember that there’s a difference between “reasonable” requests and “controlling” requests. It is fair and reasonable for you to make requests of your partner that concern the relationship and their behaviour toward you - it’s fine to ask for more physical affection, or for brief daily phone calls, or for the two of you to take more selfies together. It’s not okay for you to make requests that limit your partner’s freedoms or privacy - it’s not okay to forbid your partner from seeing certain people, set them a curfew, or demand that they allow you to GPS track their phone. Love is not control.

Be specific when you raise issues. Telling someone “you don’t love me anymore” or “I bet you’re going to leave me” is not productive - it expresses that you’re not happy, but it doesn’t tell your partner what the problem actually is, or what you need in order to feel more secure in the relationship. Before you have a discussion with your significant other, reflect on your own feelings and try to figure out what is actually bothering you about the relationship. Are you feeling that there is a lack of affection? Are you upset because you haven’t seen as much of your significant other as you would like? Do you feel that they don’t respond to messages as reliably as you would like? Have a conversation about what is specifically causing these feelings, and be prepared for the possibility that you might not get everything you want - relationships are all about compromise.

Have a signal in place. If you can feel that your insecurities and abandonment issues are going to be particularly bad today, have some sort of way that you can signal that to your partner without lashing out at them. It could be a code word, or a simple statement like “today is a bad day for me”. This lets your partner know that you may need extra affection that day, and that they shouldn’t take any outbursts personally. If there are particular things that help you get through a bad day - favourite music, calling your therapist, going for a walk, etc - plan to also lean on those supports.

Don’t give ultimatums or threaten the relationship. In the heat of the moment, it can be really, really temping to say something along the lines of “maybe we should just break up”, or “I can’t be in the relationship anymore unless you do X”. It’s basically an emotional trump card - it’s a way to “force” the other person to do what you want them to do, or risk losing the relationship entirely. You might be bluffing, you might not be; either way, ultimatums and threats thrown out in the heat of the moment can seem like an easy way to give yourself an “edge” in the argument, and make the other person cater to your needs. These kinds of tactics, however, are incredibly toxic - you are essentially hijacking the discussion, and emotionally blackmailing your partner into doing what you want. It’s incredibly unfair to your partner, and it makes reasonable conversation impossible. Your partner needs to be able to voice their own concerns and make their perspective heard, and that’s not possible if you go out of your way to make them feel like they’re in danger of getting dumped every time they make you unhappy. Threatening a breakup turns minor discussions into emotional minefields, and it intentionally makes your partner feel like the relationship is built on shifting sand. Don’t do this. If you are going to break up with somebody, think it over carefully, and don’t break up the topic unless you truly mean it.

Don’t rush into commitment. If you struggle with insecurity, it can be really tempting to try to “lock down” your partner by rushing them into more serious forms of commitment as quickly as you can. Moving in together. Adopting a dog. Getting engaged. Getting pregnant. Consciously or subconsciously, you might feel like you need to entwine your lives early on, to make it as difficult as possible for your partner to possibly leave you. Rushing someone into commitment, though, is almost always a mistake. Many of the big “relationship milestones” are huge responsibilities, and it’s enormously stressful to try to manage joint finances and responsibilities with someone you barely know. There’s a reason why most couples wait for an extended period of time before taking these steps together - it can take a while for two people to get comfortable with each other and figure out if they are truly compatible. And trying to rush someone into commitment before they are ready is emotionally manipulative as well; it can be very easy to start blackmailing someone by implying that they don’t really love you or they aren’t really an adult if they aren’t willing to move in together three months into the relationship.

Don’t look for malicious intent or feed negative thought spirals. There are multiple ways to interpret a person’s words or behaviors. Being in a healthy relationship often requires that you give your partner the benefit of the doubt, and choose not to interpret their actions in a malicious way. If your partner doesn’t text you back quickly, you have to choose to believe that they are just busy - and you have to choose not to tell yourself that they are intentionally ignoring you because they hate you, or that they are flirting with someone else. If your partner hangs out with their attractive friend, you have to believe that they are just friends, instead of letting yourself get suspicious of their relationship. Giving in to negative thoughts and suspicions can cause downward thought spirals, where “they haven’t texted me in an hour” can quickly turn into “they never loved me and they have been faking our whole relationship”. Don’t let your brain go there. Give them the benefit of the doubt, even when it’s hard.

Have coping mechanisms outside of your partner. It can be really easy to decide that because your insecurities are about your partner, that it is your partner’s job to comfort you. But that’s just not true. Constantly turning to your partner for reassurances can start to get exhausting for them, and it leaves you at risk of panicking if you can’t get ahold of them for some reason. Have other coping mechanisms. This is absolutely vital for the health of any relationship - have hobbies, friends, and activities outside of your partner that you can turn to when you are stressed and upset, even if the relationship is what you’re upset about. When you have healthy coping mechanisms in place, you can deal with the worst of your emotional upset in a constructive way, and get to a place where you can have a calm, reasoned discussion with your partner.

It’s important to remember that healthy relationships take work - everyone slips up from time to time, and that’s okay. It’s important to own your mistakes, apologize for any harm caused, and keep on working to better yourself. It’s also important to remember that relationships are a two-way street; if you’re making an effort to have a healthy relationship but the other person is not, you might be better off cutting your losses and seeking out a new partner who is more willing to try to live by these ideas.

Best of luck to you!

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