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we-do-be-writing · 2 years

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Accusations and Embarrassment

Thranduil x GenderNeutral!Reader

You were quite appalled, to say the least. Not only had your husband Thranduil, the king of Mirkwood, irrationally accused you of setting the dwarves free, but then he went and left the kingdom for battle without informing you. He often did this, leaving on his own so that he could keep you safe in the kingdom. Normally it would not bother you as much since you often went spider hunting with Legolas and Tauriel, but at the moment you were itching for something to take your anger out on.

You could not believe the audacity your husband had to accuse you of letting the dwarves out of their cells. You really had no possible reason to, aside from maybe a slight curiosity that had you wondering whether they could actually kill Smaug the dragon. It was not difficult to find out who must have opened the cells when the guards came back reporting one hobbit who was previously uncounted for.

The urge to grab more soldiers and join in on the five armies battle was strong, but you knew it would be a risk to leave the kingdom without anyone from the royal family. Plus, it was an even greater risk to take more soldiers since Thranduil had taken a large surplus. You did, however, send a messenger to your husband with the message on who truly let the dwarves out.

When the battle was over, and your husband returned with the soldiers, it did not help relinquish your anger since he did not apologize for his previous accusations. There was also the fact that he had let Legolas go off on his own without having him come back to say a proper goodbye. Although you were pleased by the letter your son sent you which explained his reasoning for leaving.

Nonetheless, Thranduil had yet to spend much time conversing with you, let alone giving you an apology. Instead, he was busy planning a celebratory ball for the defeat of Smaug as well as the new relations with Dale and Erebor. You had managed to avoid these duties, and release some of your anger, by once again joining the spider hunts. You used the excuse of Legolas leaving as your reason for leaving the royal duties to your husband.

The night of the ball approached fast and soon you were getting dressed in your chambers. Thranduil had apparently left earlier, but you did not have much time to think of it before Tauriel appeared to escort you to the ball. You entered the ballroom with a flourish, all eyes gravitating to the both of you.

"Welcome everyone! Thank you all for coming and please have an enjoyable time!" You addressed the audience with a smile. Many people smiled in return, with some clapping at your introduction.

You could see Thranduil hiding a smile where he sat on a makeshift throne that was placed in the ballroom. A glass of wine was placed in your hand once you had finished speaking and you accepted it gratefully. You slowly made your way through the ballroom towards the throne, conversing with almost everyone you passed as you went.

Apparently, you had been taking too long trying to appease the guests because as the third song came to a close your husband strolled up behind you.

"You look lovely this evening." He complimented, much to the adoration of the elder elves you were previously speaking with. He was a little caught off guard when you simply gave him a smile then went back to your conversation.

"Oh, your highness, your glass is almost empty." One of the elves said, pointing to your glass.

"Let me get you some more my dear." Thranduil offered, extending his hand to take your glass. You handed him the glass without even a glance in his direction this time.

Some of the elder elves raised their eyebrows, looking between you and Thranduil. One of the older ladies that you were currently talking to was hiding a knowing smile behind a cough. Now Thranduil was shocked, part of him upset that you were ignoring him in front of the other elves and part of him anxious about how much longer you were planning on keeping this up.

He silently got you more wine then rejoined the group that was formed around you. You did thank him as you took the glass back, it's not like you wanted to appear ungrateful.

The conversation continued with you keeping your attention off your husband. For a while he dealt with just keeping an arm around your waist and making his own conversations with some of the guests.

Eventually a slower song began and Thranduil extended one of his hands in front of you, an invitation to join him in a dance. The temptation to refuse him was high, solely because he had still not apologized for the previous accusations he threw at you. However, you decided that would be a touch too disrespectful and embarrassing to him.

So, you took his hand and let him lead you to the middle of the ballroom. Other couples started to surround you and join in on the dance. You let Thranduil twirl you around a little before you put the slightest amount of distance between you two so that you could look at him.

"Oh, so my spouse has finally decided to look at me." He whispers, trying to keep the conversation private.

You gave him a smile, but still did not verbally respond to him. Instead, you looked at him expectedly, waiting for an apology.

"Oh, but you still will not speak to me." Thranduil said, and you could see the gears turning behind his eyes.

"Why do you think that is?" You asked him, furrowing your brows as if you were also thinking of an answer. Thranduil's silence told you all you needed to know, that he had completely brushed over the situation that had happened only a little bit ago.

"Perhaps it is because you accused me of releasing the dwarves from their cells even though you had no proof and then proceeded to not apologize once the real culprit was revealed." You continued, helping him find the answer.

Realization dawned on his features, and he slightly bowed his head which caused his forehead to lean against yours. You kept your eyes locked with his as he thought about what he wanted to say.

"You're right, I had no right to accuse you of such a thing. I should have taken the time to get more information before I put the blame on anyone. I will not make excuses for my actions. However, know that I am deeply sorry for accusing you as well as for neglecting to notice my mistake and for not realizing that you were upset." Thranduil spoke quietly, keeping his head bowed and his forehead touching yours.

"Apology accepted, and you do look quite dashing yourself tonight." You replied, smiling widely at your husband before taking a quick scan of the gorgeous king of Mirkwood.

#Thranduil #Mirkwood Elves #Mirkwood #Thranduil Imagine #the Hobbit Imagine #the Hobbit x Reader #Thranduil x Reader #the Hobbit #the Hobbit Movies #x Reader #Reader Insert #Gender Neutral Reader #x Gender Neutral Reader #Thranduil x you #Thranduil x Gender Neutral Reader #the Hobbit x Gender Neutral Reader #the Hobbit x You

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nocompromise-noregrets · 10 months

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five good things

time for a follow-up! things have improved a bit since I made the last one of these. Let's see...

Placebo were absolutely awesome, they played so many of my favourites, and my friend and I got almost to the front at one side so we could see pretty well too. It was utterly sweltering, and we had to queue for an hour to get out of the car park so I didn't get home until 1.30am and was utterly wrecked for the rest of the week, but it was so very worth it. I've adored them since they first appeared on the scene, and so many of their songs are woven into my soul; it was so good to see them again.

I had my doctor's appointment yesterday, and depending on the outcome of the blood tests I have to have in a couple of weeks (which may explain some of the other things that are bothering me - or they may just be further symptoms of Age-Related Loss of Plot, so we'll find out one way or the other) I ought to be getting onto HRT fairly soon. Which will hopefully sort me out, thank fuck for that. I used to be sunny-natured and happy, but I haven't felt that way for longer than I can remember - I want that back. And then if the HRT doesn't sort me where that's concerned, we can look at other solutions. Phew.

I have a four-day weekend this week, as I did two days at job number two last week (on top of the Placebo gig, it nearly broke me), so I've spent today chilling out and attempting to be less exhausted, having not slept particularly well for days.

I've finally finished (I think!) the reincarnation AU from @piyo-13's glorious artwork, so once that's beta'd I'll get it posted. Super excited about this one!

I treated myself to a couple of Hobbit Lego sets secondhand off ebay, having been inspired by @mastererestor's Imladris adventures (I'm still eyeing the Rivendell set but I want to work up to it, not having done anything but tiny sets for about 35 years) - I have Mirkwood Elf Army, with Thranduil and Tauriel, and Attack on Lake-town with Bard, Bain and Tauriel, so I have both of the bi widower dads :D :D :D and have made a start on the Mirkwood Elf Army, it has a catapult!

We watched the Full Monty TV series over the last couple of days, and it's all cheeky larks but the underlying tale of Horse falling through the gaping cracks in our deliberately austerity-filleted so-called welfare system is utterly, tragically heartbreaking and I cried a lot. Which I probably needed...

I still haven't been out on the bike, because the battery was flat when I went out there last week and it took us a couple of days to get it charged, but it's ready now and I'm getting it MOT'd tomorrow so I can tax it and renew the insurance. So that'll be the first time I've been out since last autumn, and it's only up the road but it'll do.

I'm rereading Fellowship and really enjoying it (it's been so long since I've had the energy for reading an actual book), and I'm also listening to the Andy Serkis audiobook, which is brilliant. He does all the voices (I'm only up to Gandalf telling Frodo about the Ring, so I haven't heard most of them yet) and it's just so enjoyable. Who knows when I'll have time to listen to the whole thing through, but whatever.

Right. That's enough for now, I think. If I can only get some proper sleep I'll be sorted...

#five good things

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absolutebearings · 1 year

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after this latest ultimate extended rewatch with @lecampy i can finally say for sure: i like the hobbit movies more than the OT ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

All 6 are more consistent in quality than I remembered so there's less for me to get hung up on that i wasn't already accepting from the first movies -- there's infrequently wonky cgi, weird act 3 pacing, and stupid action sequences in the OT but they didn't get in the way of my enjoyment then, that's still the case for me here

i already like tolkien dwarves so all the focus on them was awesome, i like that they blended in some other tolkien works, i like that there were references to the cartoons and various illustrated editions

it must be said -- the soundtrack fucks! howard shore adds some new great dwarvish themes to the leitmotifs we're already familiar with and it works so well -- in particular its underscoring of thorin's descent is really really good

the biggest thing for me though is the characters. I am incredibly fond of all the dwarves, and bc the movies put effort into differentiating them I was able to quickly learn names. i always come away from a rewatching getting attached to a new character (this time its balin ;__;)

riddles in the dark! the barrel escape! goofy and heartfelt songs! outwitting trolls and bluffing dragons! i think all the best stuff from the novel is a lot of fun in large part bc freeman is the perfect bilbo, he handles this ridiculous, increasingly depressing procession of events with a combination of twitchy insecurity and desperate nerve and its exactly as i imagined

dont even get me started on armitage as thorin jesus christ holy fcuk. I'm still recovering and it's been a decade. his last scene had me in hysterics

in general bilbo is a more interesting and compelling protagonist, (all his little tics are so endearing!! there's like 50 Relatable Bilbo Moments per movie) and thorin's tragic character arc beats the shit out of anything from the OT. i wish i had 10 more hours of them interacting. i wish they had more time together

love the stuff with bard the bowman, he is a much more interesting figure than i initially gave him credit for, especially after laketown is destroyed and he's trying to care for all the refugees who immediately looked to him for guidance because he's the one that killed the dragon. he feels the weight of responsibility for their survival on his shoulders, his dragonslaying wasn't so much a feat as it is a prelude to the real work that is the result of prowess -- those who can, MUST. and that pressure drives his plea for thorin to just honor their prior agreement, and the feeling of betrayal when that plea is callously refused. its just like thorin taking responsibility for his people after erebor was lost (and the deliciousness of thorin treating bard like thranduil treated him, and the way the trauma of being abandoned to starvation and exile ripples out over years)

the critique i agree most with is the execution of the kili/tauriel romantic subplot, it could have been better developed imo, theyre really intense about each other after like one conversation LKJFdsjf

pacing is definitely wonky at times

specifically the pacing of the gandalf subplot was not as good as the main plot, but i think it was better handled in the extended editions

i dont think smaug was killed too quickly, or the confrontation was weirdly positioned astride the 2nd and 3rd movies bc the dragon isn't the most interesting antagonist of this story and there are more important things to explore, like thorin's descent into paranoia, his awful choices as a leader once he steps inside erebor and how theyre connected to his past experiences, and the way infighting leaves all parties vulnerable to destruction. but i'm someone who was bummed they cut scourging of the shire from the OT so i would enjoy stuff like this, those arcs that show the fallout after the Big Final Battle, (or what seemed like it at the time), where you have to reconcile real world shit like diplomacy w/ neighboring polities.

i still love the OT, its a classic for a reason, but the hobbit movies are underrated and i'll die on this (under)hill.

#bleep blorp bullshit #when i finish watching lotr i feel emotional and satisfied #when i finish watching the hobbit i want to start rewatching it immediately #the hobbit

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helie-brain · 2 years

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The Hobbit Trilogy

I recently watched the Hobbit Trilogy and I REALLY LIKED it. Not as much as I like the LOTR trilogy though. I know that A LOT of people don’t like the trilogy, hate it even. Whether it is due to length, the side plots, the CGI, the dwarves, or other reasons. And yes I know that it’s not perfect or amazing (especially when compared to the LOTR). But there are some aspects that make the movies a fun/great/enjoyable movie to watch.

The trilogy gives the dwarves more depth. As stated before, I love the LOTR and think they are outstanding movies, but it centers a lot on hobbits, humans and elves. The dwarf is only used for comedic relief that has to constantly be saved. And I understand that the Hobbit is about the journey to a dwarven kingdom and that the LOTR is about the journey to destroy the ring. But we spend a lot of time in Elven kingdoms, Elvish is spoken quite a bit while Dwarvish is only mentioned once (even Black speech is spoken more than Dwarvish). Elves are also seen as the elite spices while dwarves are only spoken negatively by other species. In the Hobbit; yes the dwarves are funny and need saving but they are also very family oriented, musical (singing at meals), smart (Ballin convincing Bard), loyal (never turning from their kin), majestic (Thorin), protective (always looking out for each member), kind (cleaning Bilbo’s plates), determined (never changing their goal no matter the danger despite their size), great fighter (the way the use weapons and fight for their size). And although not all the dwarves were given time to show their personality, the band of dwarves gave off a brotherhood feel to them.

It provided great character development, for the main characters. Again the LOTR was amazing; the sets, the music, the fight scenes the characters. But there was no real character development except for three hobbits; merry (doesn’t care attitude to wanting to fight), Pippen (jokester to serious) and Sam (scared to one of the bravest). The rest mainly stayed the same; Gandalf is wise, Aragorn is moral, Legolas is cool, Gimli is funny. In the Hobbit Bilbo starts off as a man who wants to stay home and not do much, nothing to do with the dwarves. Through out the movie he warms up to them and risks his life to save them, and at the end welcomes them warmly to his home. Thorin starts off with this need to return home and get this gold for his people, not caring much for anyone else besides his kin. Throughout the movie is listens more to others and cares a bit more (looks out for Bilbo, helps fight the orc with Legolas). Once he gets what he wants he is more obsessed with the gold than his kin. But after seeing what he has become he realizes that his people are what matters not a destroyed city. Gandalf becomes more wary of things, people around him. Dwalin, who was the most loyal and listened to Thorin the most took a stand against him when he changed. Legolas opens up more and more defiant (and a bit more of a personality than in LOTR, come on I like Legolas but like he hardly talked and was only used as Mr. Fix it), than at the start of the trilogy. Even Thranduil opens up to the problem to the world and to other species (men and hobbits). Tauriel is also given some character development; she starts off as this naïve elf who wants to save everyone to this broken lost person.

The songs, though few are great. It shows a contrast to the elf songs in LOTR that were very choir like while the dwarfs are more boisterous. It showed aspects of the dwarf culture; that song was their way of telling stories, getting things done, or how they have meals. Like in the first movie the dwarves sing three songs, two were right on the spot songs around meal time. You can just imagine a group of dwarves singing through the great halls of their kingdoms or while they are mining (haha like the dwarves in Snow white haha). Not to mention they, the songs, are memorable, especially the misty mountain song. Man that was a good song, very ominous and emotional. You can feel the importance of it weighing down on you. And it is sang beautifully by Richard Armitage.

The female character that was not forced. Yes I know the love triangle was stupid and horribly done and I hate it as well moving on. I just like the character of Tauriel and that the fact that she is a woman is never in the foreground or used as a “strong independent female character” kind of thing. She is strong experienced fighter. But she is not independent; Thranduil raised her and Legolas is always at her side. I like that unlike the other elves she is curious about the world beyond their boarder. I also like that she wants to help others, probably due to the fact that her parents were killed and she was helped by the woodland elves and therefor does not want others to suffer lose like she has. I love the fact that she is not a better fighter than Legolas or show off or that she is over powered (like other female elves cough Gauladriel in Rings of Power). She still has qualities that we associate with female; a healer, emotional, quiet (a listener). I think that the relationship between her and Thranduil is really well done, very much like a daughter and father; fighting about their beliefs but in the end coming to a sort of understanding.

Smaug was just amazing. I don’t know much about CGI, but I think they did a pretty good job with it in terms of Smaug. Speaking of CGI, they did a really good job when it came to the dwarves and showing how small they were compared to humans and or elves. Yes the CGI does flop in other parts of the movie (especially the barrel scene). Benedict Cumberbatch was a perfect choice to voice him. He sounded to grand and threatening at times. I also liked how the used Smaug even after he died when Thorin was falling victim to the dragon sickness. It shows that the dragon wasn’t the true antagonist but the greed and the gold was.

The fight scenes were really good. Not all of them and may be not to the extent of LOTR, but still very fun to watch. It showed how people as small as dwarves fought as a unit. All the flashback fighting scenes were beautifully done to show the magnitude of it in terms of the dwarf history. Even the barrel scene was a good fighting scene. It really showed the abilities of the woodland elves, more specifically Legolas. The battle of the five armies was, in my opinion, very well put together. It should the different fighting styles of the species; the dwarves were better in close proximity fights and just went in for the blow. The elves were better in long distant fighting and were calculated, the humans were versatile and used their surroundings to fight. The weapons were interesting in terms of their design. It was very evident which weapons were made by dwarves and which were made by elves.

Again I understand why people hate it, and that there is no convincing people. I just wanted to share what I like about one of my comfort movies. But in all honesty, it is not as bad as the Rings of Power. At least the Hobbit closer connected in terms of the books and the lore.

#the hobbit #bilbo baggins #thorin oakenshield #kili #fili #thranduil #legolas #tauriel #music #dwarves #elves #character development #fight scenes #LOTR #movie review #comfort movie #peter jackson

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berrywinkle · 9 months

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The hobbit review sort of? Rant? Throwing my thoughts out there?

The thing about Peter Jackson’s The hobbit trilogy is that id does many things so well that I can’t say I dislike them. The casting is great, Smaug looked awesome, it’s visually stunning, and I enjoy the characters.

But the movies also have a tone problem in my opinion. Sometimes it feels like it’s trying to tell a whimsical and fun story, but then it cuts to a really dark scene filled with drama, as if it can’t decide if it’s a whimsical fairytale story or a serious high fantasy epic.

And then there is the love triangle, which had been divisive since it was made. I actually don’t mind Tauriel and Kili. They’re cute. But they should have kept Legolas out of it. There is no point in including Legolas in a love triangle, because we know he won’t be with Tauriel due to LOTR.

I think if the movies insisted on having Legolas, I would want his story to focus on his relationship with his father. Movie Thranduil is a really interesting and well-made character, and he had a lot of potential. I would go so far as to say him and Legolas could carry a movie by himself. If the movies developed Legolas and Thranduil’s relationship further, and explored their feelings about Legolas’ mother and her death, I would have loved it. (Also the bit at the end of BOTFA hinting at Aragorn felt forced) Either way, Legolas removes a lot of tension from the scenes he is in because we know he will survive, so in fight scenes there should be less focus on him.

The dwarves could have had more development as well. I understand it’s hard to make everyone in a 13-member company unique and distinct, but they sort of blend together, and their personalities seem to change depending on what the plot demanded.

Gandalf’s subplot felt like a waste of time, and the payoff wasn’t worth it. Yeah the fight scene on Dol Goldur was cool, but it wasn’t important to the story of The hobbit, and Gandalf and Saruman knowing that Sauron has returned removes some of the tension in Fellowship.

But despite all my criticism, I still think the hobbit movies are enjoyable, and the elements done well are done really well. This is not really a review, I just wanted to throw my thoughts out there.

#the hobbit #the hobbit movies #peter jackson #my post

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sotwk · 1 year

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Last updated: 4/3/24. Newest entry is marked.

All headcanons in this blog support my “Sons of the Woodland King” storyline and universe.

I do research in order to weave together my personal imaginings with Tolkien’s canon as neatly as possible. I’m not here to insist that my HCs be embraced by anyone as “official”. They’re just one writer’s interpretation of Tolkien’s world, made for the enjoyment of those who like my take on it.

My SotWK Headcanons are "OPEN SOURCE". You may take any of the information you find here (including OC info) to use in your own fiction. No prior permission or credit to me is needed. (Although if you choose to give credit, it's much appreciated!)

REQUESTS OPEN. Please send your questions in an Ask.

Thranduil in the Sack of Erebor (Could Thranduil have helped kill Smaug and save Erebor?)

Thranduil: the Vigorous Spring (Thranduil's name and details of his birth)

Thranduil's royal title (Thranduil's formal regnal title and its explanation)

Thranduil and hunting (Thranduil's history and skills in hunting, and his family's hunting traditions)

Thranduil , Elrond and the Human Female Cycle (How Thranduil and Elrond would handle a human lover's monthly cycle)

Thranduil is the most tragic hero (Summary of Thranduil's sufferings and homage to his strength)

Thranduil and Orcrist (How Thranduil honored Thorin)

Thranduil’s love of wine (How wine connects with Thranduil's history)

Thranduil the Warrior King (About Thranduil’s fighting prowess)

When and where was Thranduil born? (And how Thranduil's age compares to other characters)

“Stand your men down.”(About Thranduil and his people’s valor)

Gil-galad v Thranduil (Parallels between the two Elvenkings)

Less Wise, More Dangerous (In defense of the Mirkwood elves)

Why Does King Thranduil Glow? (About Thranduil's Elvish “glow” in BotFA)

“There is no love in you.” (About the confrontation between Thranduil and Tauriel)

Three Thranduil Theories (About Thranduil’s path to kingship)

Superlatives with the Thranduilions (Most noble, mischievous, wise, and dangerous)

The Regencies of the Princes of the Woodland Realm (The governing powers and responsibilities of the sons of Thranduil)

The Aftermath of the Elvenqueen's Death (How Thranduil, his family, and Mirkwood were impacted by the death of Queen Maereth)

Modern AU: The Royal Family of Mirkwood (How Thranduil and his family would be like living in modern times)

Affection Amongst Thranduil's Sons (The princes ranked according to how affectionate they are with each other)

Musical and Artistic Skills of the Thranduilion Princes (Their different areas of expertise and talents)

About Thranduil's love for his wife (And a brief history of their relationship)

Thranduilion: the sons of the Elvenking (A case for why Thranduil must have had multiple children)

Thranduilion: Artwork (Commissioned sketch of the five sons, and explanations of the differences in their physiques)

The Story of Thranduil’s Great Losses (About the death of Thranduil’s wife)

Legolas's joyful nature (How and why is Legolas constantly cheerful?)

Legolas and Tauriel's Friendship (Their platonic friendship as "birthmates" in the SotWK AU)

Arvellas: Greenwood's greatest diplomat (OC Prince Arvellas and his governing skills)

Turhir Thranduilion (SotWK OC Spotlight profile)

Mirion: the author's favorite prince (Reasons why the Crown Prince is the author's favorite OC Mirkwood prince)

Mirion and his "Golden Family" (About Crown Prince Mirion's wife and children)

Olondir, Master Craftsman of the Woodland Realm: the Thranduilions' cousin (Brief intro to the original character)

Hobbits and the Greenwood Elves (History of the friendship between Thranduil's people and Bilbo's ancestors)

Dance Culture of the Greenwood Elves (Dance history, customs, and practices, especially related to celebrations)

Horses in the Woodland Realm (History of Woodland horses, ties with the Rohirrim, and the Arroch horse species)

Food and Agriculture in Thranduil's Kingdom (Practices around hunting, gathering, farming, and trade)

Warfare in the Woodland Realm (The Fighting Abilities of Thranduil, his Sons, and Warriors of the Woodland Realm)

Bathing practices: Elves v. Dwarves (How did Elves and Dwarves bathe? Did little Legolas like baths?)

Haldir, Marchwarden of Lothlorien (as the character features in the SotWK AU)

Celebrian, Lady of Imladris (her friendship with Elvenqueen Maereth)

Feren, Captain of the Mirkwood Kingsguard (as the character features in the SotWK AU)

Silm Ancestors: Velcálë and Elemírë (OC wives of Maglor and Glorfindel) (NEW!)

Most popular story of this year:

Incredibly, Splitting Hairs, with far and away more hits and kudos than anything else! I’m rather surprised, because it’s a rule 63 gen fic, fairly short, and just rather daft all-round. That said, it was a fun idea, and I’m glad other folks enjoyed it. :)

Story of mine that is most underappreciated by the universe:

Between the Desert and the Wood. C’mon, people! It’s Beren and Lúthien and Huan in a great big cosy cuddle-pile! What’s not to love??

My least favourite story of this year:

Under One Man’s Awe. I really struggled with writing it (wrong headspace entirely), and in the end, the recipient never even bothered to acknowledge it, and I think I only got like one comment on it, which for an exchange fic is rather… ouch. No doubt the fact that I struggled affected the quality of it, but still. :\

Most fun story to write:

Probably Splitting Hairs, along with On the Took Side. I enjoyed writing rule 63!Bilbo. As I said in the A/N to one of them, it’s a bit like taking the fussy aunt from a period drama and sticking her in the middle of a fantasy adventure. :D

Story with the sweetest moment:

Tough call! I wrote a lot of sweet things this year! Probably a toss-up between Private Devotions and The Wealth of Memory. The first was written to be entirely a big cosy ball of fluff, culminating in Alexios and Lucius cuddled up together and looking forward to seeing the farm in the spring, while in the second, I really loved writing the bit where Finrod sings to Gimli of the Nauglamír and conjures up a mental image of it for him. :’)

Story with the sexiest moment:

Beguiled by One. I really enjoyed the build-up to the kiss between Mairon and Melkor. From Melkor losing his temper and admitting his infatuation with Mairon, and Mairon realising that a) being able to make someone lose their mind with desire for you is quite a rush actually, and b) um. angery Dark Lord?? hot?????… yeah, I like that bit. ;)

Most "holy crap that's wrong, even for you" story:

I don’t think there was one this year. I can’t think of any that stretched the limits of my comfort zone overmuch!

Most overdue story:

Annoyingly enough, Under One Man’s Awe. I’ve wanted to write Rome-verse Brutus fic for ages, especially if it involved Cassius or Caesar, but in the event it didn’t turn out as I’d hoped.

Most eye-roll worthy title:

ALL OF THEM.

Story that shifted my own perspective of the characters:

Not sure if it shifted my perspective, exactly, but I loved writing The Changing Season because it got me thinking about Tauriel and Sigrid, as well as Bard and the other Bardlings, in more depth than I had before: what they’d do with themselves after the end of BOTFA, and how they’d deal with the momentous changes in their lives.

Hardest story to write:

Under One Man’s Awe, for reasons of shitty brain chemistry. :[

Biggest disappointment:

I ended up defaulting from three exchanges this year, due to a mixture of crappy brain chemistry and real life factors, which sucked. Two of them (Chocolate Box and Trick or Treat) are ones I always look forward to, and the third (Have a Happy Hobbit Holiday) was a first time one I’d been really excited to sign up for. I was also pretty gutted at how Multifandom Drabble just sort of self-destructed. :(

Biggest surprise:

Looking over this year’s output, there’s only one E-rated fic. That’s a bit of a surprise. I don’t write a huge amount of smut, but I still usually write more than that!

Most unintentionally, personally telling story:

lmao I’m nowhere near self-aware enough to answer this.

Favourite opening line:

Nothing that springs to mind at once. Possibly the opening paragraph to Defilement, since I think I managed to capture a decently Tolkienesque tone for it:

Those who witnessed the felling of the White Tree perceived that the Wizard did not smile. He whom they had once reviled as Sauron the Terrible, now the closest counsellor to the King and high priest in the worship of Melkor, Giver of Freedom, stood watching from the balcony at the King’s right hand, his countenance serene; yet his eyes blazed hot and blue as the heart of a flame, filling his face with a terrible light, so that all who looked upon him trembled and shunned his gaze.

Favourite closing line:

Probably the ending of The Changing Season. It has a nice, fairytale kind of ring to it:

In the end, there was no marriage between Sigrid Bard’s daughter and Hunulf son of Hador. But the cities of Dale and Watersmeet continued in friendship and traffic, and their prosperity grew together. And for many years afterwards, Sigrid and Tauriel walked together in happiness beneath the sun and the stars.

In conclusion:

A mixed bag, as I said above. Some things I’m very proud of and enjoyed writing a lot, others I’m not so fond of. Lots of Tolkien, and a nice, varied selection of characters and ships. I’ve had better writing years, but I’ve also had worse.

Fic writing goals for the coming year:

A few. I’d like to publish at least two fics per month (excluding exchange assignments). I also want to get back into my usual exchanges - especially since Sutcliff Swap should be running again this year *fingers crossed*. I've set a mini-challenge for myself to write at least one fic for each of my Tolkien ships, because I've accrued - um - a lot. XD That should hopefully help me mark off a few more squares on my 100 Ships table!

#meme #what is writing #my fic

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laurfilijames · 3 years

Text

Wild Horses- Part 2 (Prequel to Slow Burn)

Pairing: Modern AU Fili x Female OC Prim

Words: 3682

Summary: Fili and Prim enjoy a night out with Kili and Tauriel playing pool and singing karaoke. Prim attempts to make Fili see how much she’s grown to care for and want him since they met a year ago, but something is holding Fili back.

Warnings: Rated M. Alcohol consumption, swearing. Mentions of intercourse. Discussions of masturbation. Unwanted advances. A punch and bloody nose/hand. Mentions of war/military/deployment. Slight dom/sub suggestion.

A/N: This was so enjoyable to write, I had so much fun building the dynamic between them and adding to that slow burn. But be warned, angst is ahead in the coming chapters!

The song that Prim sings is linked below if anyone wants to listen to really get a feel for the chapter. (The original song is by the Divinyls but I like this cover better).

Thank you again to @guardianofrivendell for editing, listening to my struggles and always giving wonderful advice and endless support!

—————

“It’s your round this time!” Prim whined.

“No, no, I got the last one remember? It’s definitely your round,” Fíli argued.

She did remember, she was just hoping he wouldn’t.

“Fine. I’ll make you a bet, whoever loses this game has to get the drinks,” Prim wagered.

“Deal!” Fíli moved around the pool table to line up his next shot. Before he did, he looked up at Prim and smirked, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “But the loser also has to go up there and sing a song.”

“You bastard! You’re only betting that much because you know I’ll lose and you won’t have to sing.”

He grinned at her, amused at upping the stakes.

“Exactly,” he said, sinking his shot as he did.

Prim was awful at pool, leaving her questioning exactly why she would make a bet with him, knowing it would result in her buying the drinks and now apparently also singing a song in front of the entire bar.

She focused as she lined up her shot, praying she was successful in landing the ball in the intended pocket but faltered when she felt Fíli’s body cover hers from behind just as she attempted her hit, missing her shot completely and losing the game.

“See, you should’ve aimed more over there-,” Fíli teased, laughing as she whipped around and smacked him hard on the chest.

“I would’ve got that in if it wasn’t for you!”

He looked at her doubtfully, and although she was pissed at him for making her lose the game, she enjoyed the proximity of his body to hers. His hand remained on her waist in an almost claiming way, probably making them look like lovers to people who didn’t know them.

Prim reluctantly stepped out of his grasp and gave him the most devilish look she could as she walked over to the stage where the karaoke machine was set up. There were large speakers surrounding it and a single microphone standing in the middle, waiting for its next performer.

Prim couldn’t help but grin despite the embarrassment she felt, watching Fíli clap and hoot loudly at her as he leaned against the pool table, Kili and Tauriel following suit from the table where they sat.

She knew exactly which song she was going to sing, something that would hopefully turn Fíli on while also letting him know how she felt about him.

After spending so much time getting to know each other over the last year, Prim knew without a doubt that he was the only one she could ever want. Their relationship so far was effortless, friends who could make each other laugh and were able to share anything with each other, the good and the bad, all traced with whispers of an eagerness for more.

She adored his family and they welcomed her without hesitation as a part of their own. Prim especially admired the relationship between the two brothers, as well as the one they shared with Thorin.

It made her wish she could say the same about her own family, but this found family was all she needed.

And Fíli… Fíli was incredible. He still treated her as sweetly and with as much care as he had the day they met.

He evened her out. His calm manner balanced her fiery ways. Nobody else’s personality had ever complimented hers more and he made her feel instantly happy just by being in the same room.

So it didn’t come as a surprise to Prim when the inevitable happened: she fell in love with him.

But it was almost as if an unsaid agreement to take things slow stood between them, both of them knowing at some point they would be more than just friends, but Prim was growing increasingly impatient. She had often tried to hint that she wanted more, that she was ready to take it to the next level, but Fíli wasn’t budging. Maybe Prim wasn’t as conspicuous as she thought she was.

It was about time she started to make things a little more clear for him.

The music started up after she selected the song and she readied herself before the mic, willing courage from her three glasses of wine to grace her.

“I love myself

I want you to love me,”

The crowd erupted in cheers, realizing what she had selected.

“When I feel down

I want you above me

I search myself

I want you to find me

I forget myself

I want you to remind me,”

The look on Fíli’s face was priceless, full of surprise and curiosity and maybe even a hint of lust as he pushed his tongue in his bottom lip, so Prim continued, her eyes locked on his as she began to run her hands down her sides and over her breasts,

“I don’t want anybody else

When I think about you

I touch myself

Oh, I don’t want anybody else

Oh no, oh no, oh no,”

Encouragement from the crowd kept her going, but not as much as the expression on Fíli’s face did. Prim continued her seductive dance as she sang, carding her hands through her hair and down her neck to her chest, still managing to sing despite the huge grin on her face,

“I close my eyes

And see you before me

Think I would die

If you were to ignore me

A fool could see

Just how much I adore you

I’d get down on my knees

I’d do anything for you,”

When the song ended, Prim bowed to the standing ovation given to her by the entire bar. She hopped off the stage and walked back over to Fíli who was shaking his head in disbelief.

“Wow,” was all he managed to say, his eyebrows raised high on his forehead.

“I don’t think after that performance I should still shout the drinks,” she suggested.

“Um, no, that wasn’t the deal,” he corrected her, standing close enough she could see his pulse thumping in his neck. He stared at her like he was trying to figure out what she was up to, and also like he could kiss her. His eyes lingered on her lips as though he was about to consume them and Prim thought how she would sell her soul to have him do it.

Did he still not know how badly she wanted him?

With the adrenaline from her performance still coursing through her body, Prim was about to confess her feelings to Fíli. She wanted to tell him that the song was indeed dedicated to him, and that the lyrics applied to her when she thought about him, but was interrupted by Kili and Tauriel coming over to congratulate her.

“Prim you never cease to amaze me!” Kili said, gripping his hands on her shoulders from behind.

“I think you have every man in here worked up!” Tauriel added.

As appreciative as she was for their compliments, the only opinion she really cared about was Fíli’s.

“Yeah, you are incredible,” Fíli praised her, still regarding her peculiarly.

Her stomach flipped. He thought she was incredible, not just her karaoke skills.

“Oh, I had some inspiration,” Prim admitted, staring into Fíli’s eyes and willing him to figure out just how much she longed for him, but not able to say it with Kili and Tauriel standing beside them.

“Well, the drinks are on me!” she declared, walking over to the bar to complete her end of the bargain. Kili followed her, wanting to order food, or so he said. Kili had a tendency to get involved in things that weren’t necessarily his business, and whatever was happening between Fíli and Prim was no exception.

“I can’t help but feel like there were some underlying messages in your performance,” he inquired without looking at her.

“It was just a song, Kili,” she denied.

“Yeah, one about masturbating to thoughts of my brother!”

She looked at him fiercely. Was it so obvious to everyone but Fíli?

“See, you can’t even deny it!” he laughed.

“I’m not trying to deny anything,” she told him while peeling the label off of an empty beer bottle, beginning to get annoyed by his interrogation.

“Well, I bet he thinks of you whenever he touches himself,” Kili said point-blank, popping a chip in his mouth.

“Kili!” Prim said with alarm, smacking his shoulder. Although part of her did hope it was true.

Once Kili stopped laughing, Prim sighed and continued her thoughts out loud.

“It’s just so frustrating! I feel like I do everything but literally throw myself at him and nothing happens.” She placed money on the bar as the bartender handed her their drinks, “I just really care about him,” she admitted.

“I know you do. He knows you do- knows you love him even. He’s going to kill me for telling you but he does feel the same, he told me himself,” Kili explained.

Prim shot her head up to look at him, “You better not be joking right now, Kili,” being fully aware of the pranks he was capable of.

“I’m not, I swear!” he raised his hands in defence, and threw a quick look over his shoulder towards his brother before he continued, “He fancies you, he always has. That’s why he’s still single, and you are too, I reckon. You’re both just too stupid to do anything about it,”

“Oh, thanks for that,” Prim glared at him and took a chip from his plate, making Kili slide it closer to him protectively so she couldn’t steal any more of them.

“I’m not saying you’re stupid, Prim, but one of you needs to admit it or someone else is going to come along and ruin it. You see how women look at him,” he pointed out, and Prim’s heart sank at the thought.

Of course she saw how other women looked at him, and she couldn’t blame them. He was perfect.

Prim didn’t want anyone else and she hoped what Kili had said about Fíli’s feelings towards her were true. She grabbed the drinks and walked back to the table, her head reeling from the information.

Fíli beamed at her as she approached, his dimples revealing themselves beneath his facial hair, making her melt for him once again and forget the threat of anyone coming between them.

Fíli could hardly believe the act he’d just witnessed. He had run his hand over his face a few times to try and disguise his flush, beads of sweat appearing on his temples as he watched Prim’s risqué dance on stage, making him throb for her all over again.

He wondered if she truly felt what she’d sung in those lyrics, that she wanted him and only him, that she imagined him when she pleasured herself.

The thought alone drove him mad.

Her eyes had been locked on him the entire time she was up there, there was no disputing that.

Fíli enjoyed making her feel as frenzied and desperate as she made him, but it was getting increasingly difficult to keep resisting her. She knew how to play him as well.

And even though he really didn’t want to resist her anymore and simply give in to the yearning want, he knew he couldn’t. He shouldn’t.

Thorin and Kili were leading a special ops mission and although Fíli as a trainer was now exempt from having to deploy, he refused to sit at home while his uncle and brother went head first into danger.

He was going too.

Fíli had been deployed countless times since he was in his early twenties. He had seen battle and horrific things that people could never even begin to fathom. The thought of going to war again filled him with dread, but he needed to protect his family.

If he pursued things with Prim, he wouldn’t be able to stand being with her for such a short period of time and making her anxiously wait for him to get back. It would break both of them. It wouldn’t be fair to her, so they would just have to wait until this mission was over before they could give each other everything of themselves.

He watched her now as she leaned against the bar, talking and laughing with Tauriel, finding himself automatically mimicking every upturn of her mouth.

But her expression quickly changed when a man came up to her who was obviously a fan and hoping her words were directed at him. Prim politely shrugged him off, turning back to face Tauriel.

Fíli remained in his chair, carefully watching the interaction. He wouldn’t step in unless he needed to, and he prayed the idiot wouldn’t do anything stupid.

“That song was about me, wasn’t it doll,” the man slurred, stepping closer to her.

Prim laughed and said over her shoulder, “Don’t you wish,” and Fíli could tell the man was starting to get on her nerves.

It was difficult for Fíli to hear all that was being said, but the man seemed persistent in getting her attention. Prim said the odd thing to get him to leave her alone but tried her best to remain focused on Tauriel and ignore the pleas from the drunk.

Kili sat beside him and could see the fury rising up through his body. He patted Fíli on the back, “Easy brother,” he said, trying to assure him that she would be fine, knowing what damage Fíli could do to the other man if provoked.

It wasn’t until the man grabbed her ass and she flew around to punch him that Fíli stood from where he was seated and quickly made his way over. He knew Prim could hold her own, and judging by the way the guy was holding his bloody nose, she had done the job. Regardless, he needed to give this asshole a piece of his mind.

Fíli took hold of the man’s collar and held him upright after being folded over from Prim’s punch, his feet now barely touching the ground.

“Touch her or go near her again and you’ll regret ever laying eyes on her, mate,” Fíli spat in his face, his rage ready to erupt at any second.

The man nodded in a terrified manner, and scrambled away as soon as Fíli released him from his grip.

Fíli brushed his hair back out of his face and turned to Prim, who was shaking her hand out and looking slightly unsettled.

“Are you alright?” he asked, his anger now turned to worry, never wanting any harm to come to her.

“Yes, I’m fine. He’s just a prick.” She didn’t meet his eyes, her gaze cast down to observe the damage to her hand. Her knuckles were red and split from colliding with the man’s face and blood was beginning to creep up slowly.

Fíli took her hand in his and brushed his thumb lightly over her wounds before bringing his lips to kiss them gently.

The way she looked at him made his heart clench, almost like she was surprised at his affection towards her. He wanted to tell her he would do anything for her, would give her the world, and that it made him feel terrible that he allowed that guy to touch her like he did. But he couldn’t.

“I’m sorry, I should’ve stepped in sooner,” his voice full of regret at how he handled the situation.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Fi, you’re my hero,” she said with a mischievous look in her eye, her fire back and immediately replacing his anger and regret with desire for her.

“I can usually handle my own, but I don’t mind you protecting me,” she said playfully.

Her eyes were filled with lust as she looked up at him through her eyelashes, and he was reminded once again of what he wanted to do to her.

Before he acted on pressing his lips against hers, Fíli called to the bartender for some ice for her hand, as well as a shot of whisky for them both.

They all managed to enjoy the rest of the night, no one harassing Prim other than with lustful glances from multiple men, but she didn’t seem to notice. She was having too much fun and a good buzz was keeping the pain in her hand at bay.

She stuck close to Fíli, often touching him playfully on his arm or chest, and even occasionally on his thigh. Her hand landed there now, causing him to stop talking mid-sentence to look at her delicate fingers resting on his jeans.

Fuck, she was going to be the death of him.

His jaw hurt from clenching his teeth so much, a habit to keep his increasing thirst for her at bay.

The bar announced the last call, and they all were quite drunk aside from Fíli. He typically managed to stay sober whenever they went out, wanting to ensure they all got home safely and didn’t have to pay and wait for cabs to take them all to different places.

With Kili and Tauriel dropped off at Tauriel’s place, Fíli was now on his way to take Prim to her own apartment. She was definitely drunk, but not sloppy, in more of her usual flirtatious state that had tried to lure him into her bed on more than one occasion. Tonight was no exception.

She laughed as she fumbled with her keys in the door, dropping them onto the mat. Fíli stooped to pick them up and when he straightened himself Prim was leaning playfully against her door frame.

“You want me and it’s killing you,” she boldly stated, revealing a part of him that he wasn’t ready to divulge to her yet.

He shook his head and chuckled while he unlocked the door, not wanting to have this conversation with her now.

She waltzed in ahead of him, her body language full of confidence from the drinks she had consumed.

“Do you want a nightcap?” Prim asked, trying her best to get him to stay.

“No, thanks. I’m going to head out so you can get some sleep.” He had to fight to get the words out, wanting so badly to stay.

Prim squinted her eyes at him, annoyed at being rejected.

“Are you ever going to give me what I want, Fíli?” she asked, her voice laced with bitterness.

He couldn’t help but grin, desperately wanting to tell her just how badly he wanted her. How he wanted the same things as her. How easy it would be for him to roughly pull her pants down and slide into her, fucking her until she screamed his name over and over.

Especially when she acted like this.

He took a step toward her so he was hovering slightly above her body, and he saw the fearlessness in her eyes change to a softness, like she would submit to him in a second if given the chance.

“The problem is, Prim,” he muttered, his eyes narrowing as he stared into her, “If I kiss you now, I won’t be able to stop.”

She faltered for only a moment before lifting her chin up in an act to reinstate her poise.

“Then don’t stop,” she challenged him.

It took every fibre in his being to pull away from her, not wanting to do anything while she was under the influence of alcohol.

“No,” he shook his head and laughed when she threw her head back and growled in frustration.

“Why?” she snapped, her distaste at being rejected clear.

He never wanted to make her feel this way. She had to know she was his greatest desire, his biggest temptation.

Fíli remained in place, not daring to go close to her again.

“Because I want you to be fully aware when I do the things that I have planned for you.”

He watched her shift, his words sinking in and probably helping to sober her up. It was a promise of things to come. A hint at his intentions to explore her body.

“Are you good?” Fíli asked in a normal tone, needing to change the subject and wanting to make sure she was okay before he left.

“I’ll be good when you’re putting your hands all over me,” she countered, her voice raspy and still persistent in trying to get her way with him.

He chuckled at her determination, making his way to the door despite her wishes. She was relentless.

“Goodnight, Prim,” he called over his shoulder, not able to look at her knowing if he did she would draw him back inside.

He sat in his truck for a moment before driving away, his thoughts solely on how much he wished to tell her he wanted to be with her.

Fíli toyed with the idea of establishing the relationship with Prim anyway, being selfish for once in his life and indulging in her for whatever amount of time he could before he left, but quickly decided against it.

He loved Prim. And he only wanted to love her in the way she deserved, and loving her and then leaving her was not it.

He smiled at how easy it was for her to tempt him into almost doing things that were so out of his character. But once he was back home he would give in to anything and everything she offered, because fuck did he want to.

Fíli knew without a doubt that they would end up together someday, so what was waiting a couple of more months in the grand scheme of things? As far as he was concerned they had all the time in the world.

But right now all Fíli could think about was how Prim was probably getting into bed and fantasizing about him while she extinguished her fire, her hands exploring her own body in search of a high that one day would include him. He palmed at the growing tension in his pants, knowing that he was going home to do exactly the same.

—————

#fili imagine #fili durin #fili the hobbit #fili #fili x oc #wild horses #series #slow burn #fili fanfic #fili smut #smut #oc #modern fili #modern au

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artemisdesari-blog · 3 years

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Why I Find Tauriel Problematic; An Essay On My Thoughts, Feelings, And Why Ambivalence Has Turned Into Frustration and Distaste

Although I have only been back on the fanfiction horse for about two years, and what a wonderful two years those have been, my brief stint writing fanfiction for The Hobbit has shown me a great deal about the fandom, and one of those things is that Tauriel is something like Marmite. For those unfamiliar with Marmite, it is a British salty yeast extract spread that is either utterly delicious or utterly vile depending on the tastes of the one eating it. The marketing slogan for it is “You either love it or hate it”, so even the manufacturers are aware that enjoyment of their product is a very subjective thing. Tauriel seems to polarise the fandom almost as much as said yeast extract, although there is a little more mid range ambivalence towards her as well. For me, personally, I prefer to pretend that she never existed in the movies at all, something that I will get into at a later date. That ambivalence has, sadly, shifted to distaste.

It is no secret that in popular literature and culture there is a very glaring absence of strong female characters. To the extent that when your Captain Janeways, Samantha Carters, Natasha Romanovs and so on pop up they become worth commenting on. Tolkien, of course, is no saint where this is concerned. It is glaringly obvious that for every Lúthien, Galadriel, Arwen and Eowyn there are dozens of male characters who play far greater roles in the saving of the world. In fact, The Hobbit is without strong female characters entirely, being a novel completely dominated by the male Company of Thorin Oakenshield, including the title character. Considering who Tolkien is supposed to have originally written the tale for, the source myths that he referenced and prevailing attitudes of the time, it is unsurprising. In fact, that characters like Eowyn and Galadriel pop up at all, not discounting Lúthien whose romance with Beren was said to have some inspiration from Tolkien’s own marriage, is impressive all things considered.

With that in mind, let us consider the matter of Tauriel. She was not in the book, and while I can see why the studio wanted her added to the film they later made decisions about her which sat, and still do sit, very poorly with me. Generally speaking, as a writer, I prefer to try ignoring the fact that she exists in the movies, even if I reference the movie appearances of the dwarves to avoid writing about too many bearded males with white or blue or blond hair. If I do reference her it is usually in passing and with no intention to do anything further with her other than acknowledge that she was added to the cast. Frequently, however, I get asked the questions “Will Kíli and Tauriel be forming an attachment?”. “How do you plan to handle the romance between Kíli and Tauriel given the relationship you’ve been building with X character?”, “Why do you dislike her so much?”. I’ve even been accused of disliking her from the misogynistic view point of “the evil female who corrupts the helpless males,” which is frankly offensive and not at all the case.

To the first two questions: she is not book canon, I do not need to address the so-called romance because there is nothing in Tolkien’s canon to support her existence and thus the romance. To the last question… well, that one is a little more complicated and requires an in depth examination of her introduction, actions and interactions with Kíli, as well as his personality as established over the course of the films since we have precious little to go on in the books.

First, let us look at Kíli. He is a flirt. We know that, we see him flirting with various elves during dinner in Rivendell. Beyond that, however, we see very little of his tastes or preferences, although it is probably fair to assume that he is probably something of a romantic as well. As much as he is a main character, he is still more of a background character compared to Bilbo and Thorin. It is, after all, about the hobbit of the piece. He is young, either just about to turn 77 or not long having done so and that makes him young enough that we get the impression that he and Fíli both are still of an age where it is perfectly natural to idolise their uncle and be desperate for his approval. We see that the few times he is dressed down he feels it very keenly. We also see that he is playful and open, perhaps the most playful and open of all of them except, maybe, Bofur. He is curious, perfectly capable of giving his all when it comes to a fight and Gandalf refers to him as one of Thorin’s best alongside his brother and Dwalin.

We also see him flip from open and loving, though perhaps infatuated is a better word, to cold and murderous in a moment, so we can probably include passionate in all things in that as well.

Now, let us look at Tauriel. Unlike Kíli, we have no set age for her. We know that she is young for an elf, but the ages given range from somewhere around 600 to 1,400. There is one quote placing her at 1,347 but it is in a sea of conflicting information. Regardless, she is young, she is idealistic and curious. She has never left Mirkwood and has dedicated much of the last few decades to attempting to curb the influx of giant spiders which are spreading from Dol Guldur while arguing with Thranduil; who wants his borders kept clear but refuses to deal with the source of the threat. An attitude not unfamiliar to many of us, sadly. She has the friendship of a prince of Mirkwood but is declared not good enough for him. Also, not an uncommon attitude in those who could be thought of as nobility.

She, like any being that has literally had hundreds of years to practice, is incredibly good with her weapons and pings and flips around like the others of her kind. Given her youth and position we can conclude that she is considered unusually skilled for her age but she still has the advantage of living forever, unless she tires of life or is killed, to keep improving her skills.

Finally, let us look at the history between elves and dwarves. It is not a pretty one. They come together for the sake of occasional trade, or to face the threat of Morgoth, and later Sauron, and their armies, but otherwise they keep to themselves. The dislike is clear on both sides and occurs well before the day Smaug arrived in Erebor, during the First Age in fact. So it will be difficult for this young pair to overcome millennia of bad feeling between their people, some of whom actually remember the events that set the dislike in stone. Legolas and Gimli are later understood to be among only a very, very, few who become close enough to be considered great friends. Much of fandom would probably cheerfully have them be a great deal more given Legolas snuck his dwarf into Valinor after Aragorn’s death.

To the shoe-horned in romance, and I do mean that in the literal sense. Evangeline Lily has been heard in interviews to say that she was wary about the fan reception of Tauriel from the start and that she signed on under the explicit understanding that there would be no romance or love triangle. And at the end of the initial shoot there was not. When they came back for studio shoots and reshoots, however, she was presented with a list of scenes that had been added and some that needed to be reshot to accommodate, you guessed it, a love triangle. She was signed in, she had taken the money, done the work and was boxed into a corner. The love triangle went in and it became the part of the films that polarises the fans the most. Besides, if we want to ship something, we do not need to have it spoon fed to us. Bagginshield is the most popular ship in the fandom and we only get the odd hint towards it here and there. Then look at the multitude of other ships. We did not need to be given something we can make up for ourselves.

That out of the way, let us look at their meeting:

The Company is beset by giant spiders, destined to be dinner, confused and disorientated and more than a little desperate, weakened due to lack of food and the weird miasma of Mirkwood which has been playing havoc with their minds. None of them are in good shape but, as they do, they fight on anyway. They need to survive and reach the mountain so that they can take back their home. Enter the elves, arrows whistling, blades crunching into thick spider exoskeletons, performing all manner of acrobatic leaps and twists to avoid getting bitten or killed. It is impressive, eye-catching even to the older dwarves, and would likely be even more so to a pair of young dwarves like Fíli and Kíli. We do not see Fíli’s reaction, he is too busy frantically looking for his missing brother who has been cornered by a spider.

Enter Tauriel, who refuses to give him a knife to defend himself with and help her deal with the stragglers because she believes he may well be an enemy. She is, in fact, somewhat derogatory towards him. I would not say that Kíli is charmed, although he is certainly impressed, because were he charmed I do not believe he would have such a massively discontent expression on his face as she takes him back to the others. I suspect that, much like in Rivendell, he would have put more effort into turning on the charm.

As the dwarves are led away, we get the first indication that Tauriel has noticed him; she comments that he is not entirely unattractive for a dwarf due to his lack of beard and the fact that he is tall for one of their kind. Legolas is unimpressed, but we expect that.

Once they reach the cells we see the dwarves desperately attempting to avoid being locked up. Most of them are attempting to force their way free, Fíli appears to be in the process of having yet more knives removed from his person while he huffs and sulks, and Kíli is watching as he is taken to a cell of his own. A solitary one at that. Fíli and Kíli, it could be argued, are a little bit co-dependant. Not horrendously, but they have been watching out for one another over all the rest from the start, they are brothers after all, and in the life of a dwarf five years is not all that much of an age gap. So we can assume that Kíli does not really want to be locked up on his own, he is a social person regardless it would seem and I suspect that being alone would be a special kind of torture for him. He tries stalling.

“Aren’t you going to check me? I could have anything down my trousers.”

I’ll give Tauriel this, she is quick witted and this is possibly one of my favourite exchanges of the films. Her reply; “Or nothing” is cool, a little bit cutting and gives no indication of any sort of interest at all. If anything, she seems a little exasperated with all the fuss the lot of them are creating and she simply wants to be done with it. Away Kíli goes and off she goes to report to her king.

Who proceeds to compliment her on her good handling of things so far, order her to make it better faster, reject her proposal for exterminating the source rather than simply dealing with the fallout and then tell her that no matter what else she has done, she is not good enough for his son. Oof. She hesitates before replying, stumbles her way through a response and seems genuinely upset about it. Regardless of whether her feelings for Legolas are of friendship or if she had been hoping for a little more as well, being told something like that had to hurt.

We next see Tauriel patrolling the cells. Some of the dwarves are making noise, most seem pretty resigned, Kíli is fiddling with his promise stone. Which he promptly drops and loses through the bars, only for it to be stopped by Tauriel who demands to know what it is. As you do. Kíli, as you do, replies that it is a curse stone and any who is not a dwarf who looks upon it will suffer greatly. I forget the exact quote, I could look it up but I’m not feeling quite that dedicated to making my point here. Tauriel hesitates. I will not say that she is alarmed, she seems to take his words with a pinch of salt, but she is definitely wary and we have to remember that she is a very young elf who has spent all of her life in Mirkwood. She has not interacted with dwarves, has no reason to have done so and so she has no idea if what he is saying is true or not. And we have no idea how many of the old stories about elves and dwarves she has heard, although we know it is enough for her to have a generally low opinion of them. Her hesitation is enough to cause Kíli to come clean, perhaps fearing that she will take this precious memento of his mother from him. You can see the moment that Tauriel decides to return it, the flicker of surprise that a dwarf would mention a parent with such apparent fondness and it makes me wonder what stories she has been told about dwarves and their emotions. Regardless, she gives it back and the two begin a conversation which starts with Kíli’s opinion on starlight and moves on to become centred around Kíli’s travels.

It is a good, safe, sensible conversation which would ring no alarm bells. In fact, the only thing that hints towards the idea that we should be looking for a romantic angle is the shot of Legolas looking down upon them with a disgusted sneer.

This is where I began to feel uneasy with the direction the story was taking. Legolas is clearly jealous, Tauriel has clearly been hurt by the callous words of Thranduil and there was, perhaps, a little bit of flirting going on between the bars. This is Kíli after all. One thing we forget, however, is that she is his jailor. She is in a position of significant power over him. Let us flip the genders. The one behind bars is female, the one who holds the keys and is showing a marked interest in her is male. This is a familiar trope, and one which many of us shudder back from due to the power divide and the vulnerability of the female character, no matter how kind the male one seems. Why, then, do so many of us ignore the reverse scenario? Why is it alright for a woman, or elleth, in a position of power over a male, and especially a young one who might well be looking for a way out and a way to keep his friends and family safe, to pay such marked attention to a male captive?

The answer, of course, is that it is very much not alright, but we let it slide because it is not the reverse and society seems to have this thing for women in power seducing helpless males.

So, they have got their flirt on, spent an unspecified length of time languishing in the cells and now it is time to escape. The book would have us believe that they spent a month or so in the cells and rode their barrels out with relative ease. No gates, orcs, arrows or chases through the rapids. I can understand the movies needing something a little more dramatic. It would have been a dull escape otherwise, but we can already see the shift in Tauriel when the dwarves escape, even though she has known them at most a month, and the film makes it seem like they have only been in there a day or two which is what makes her actions later make even less sense than they would had she known Kíli a month. She hesitates. Her prisoners have escaped, her king is going to be very displeased, and still she hesitates.

I refuse to get into the thing with the morgul arrow, I find it very hard to believe that Sauron would have allowed the use of those and thus tipped others who were not Gandalf, Saruman, Galadriel and Elrond off to the fact that he was on the move. I am not even entirely sure they were a thing in book canon which is neither here nor there. It is believable that Kíli would have been hurt, that is a risk in every combat situation, and I will leave it at that.

The dwarves escape and head to Lake Town with Kíli in increasingly poor shape, Tauriel and Legolas take an orc to Thranduil for questioning which results in the elf king ordering the gates sealed. He wants nothing to do with whatever quarrel is between the orcs and dwarves. I hardly blame him. Legolas and Tauriel both object at different times and get shut down, and Legolas goes to obey his father’s orders, only to realise that Tauriel has already run off after this bloke she hardly knows.

I love Kíli, I do, but at this point he holds about as much of a permanent place in her life as the bloke I started to play Dungeons and Dragons with three months ago does in mine. And she probably knows him about as well as I do that guy.

She is idealistic, young, desperate to see the world. I get that. It is as good a reason as any to want to go out there and save it given that she is, to borrow from Guardians of the Galaxy, one of the idiots who lives in it. But saving the world, or that corner of it, was not what set her off in Thranduil’s throne room. Being told that Kíli was going to die slowly and painfully was. As much as the scene argues that she is going out there to save the world because she believes that they have a responsibility to do so, she has also already shown that Kíli is one of her primary reasons.

Four years ago, my then four year old, looked at this whole mess and said “But Elsa says you can’t marry a man you just met”. Where she got the idea Tauriel wanted to marry Kíli, I do not know, but that observation stuck with me.

Anyway, because this is getting rambling, stuff happens, the dwarves have a feast, Kíli gets left in Lake Town with Fíli while the rest go on to Erebor and Tauriel fights her way into Bard’s in time to get some athelas to heal Kíli, although not without a little bit of dithering about before hand as she tries to work out what, if anything, she can do to help him. It is not the first time we see the calm, collected and confident character we were introduced to take a backseat before she pulls herself together but it is quite prominent. Kíli, while being healed, spouts off some romantic gibberish about him and Tauriel being worlds apart from one another and wondering if she could have loved him.

It is very sweet. It is also delirious ramblings. I have said some things while feverish and sick that have had my Significant Other raising his eyebrows at me. It is not meant to be taken really seriously. For all we know, five minutes before he might have proposed marriage to Óin or been hallucinating a fight with Smaug. It is sweet and romantic, as we might believe Kíli to be, but can it be considered a true declaration?

Incidentally, this part is one of the changes that makes me really quite angry. Fíli and Kíli were always supposed to be at Thorin’s side when they entered Erebor. He leaves Kíli, and therefore Fíli, behind with barely a twitch, and callously does so after making him struggle his way to the dock and the waiting boat in front of the population of Lake Town who are waiting to see them off. It raises questions about whether the gold obsession that plagues the line of Durin had already started to set in, but I think it was a decision made to give a greater sense of peril to the scenes in Lake Town when Smaug is razing the place.

Either way, I do not like it.

The morning after the night before dawns, Kíli seems none the worse for wear after his near brush with death, though we know that Frodo was heavily weakened after his own such encounter in sixty/eighty years, depending on if you book or film timeline it. He is saying goodbye to Tauriel and effectively tells her he loves her by calling her “amrâlimê” which most of us here know means something to the effect of “my love”. Watch Fíli behind him, rolling his eyes and shaking his head as though this is not the first time he has seen his brother act like this. Fíli is the Darcy to Kíli’s Bingley, except maybe this time it really is not love at all and Fíli is right to be wary and frustrated. It is also the time we see Kíli go from adoring puppy to murder hound in about 0.6 seconds with the arrival of Legolas. This time he is clearly infatuated, but I would still hesitate to say “in love” for a couple of reasons. The first is that they really hardly know each other, and while love at first sight is a wonderful idea it is not necessarily the strongest foundation for a relationship. Especially one with such incredibly strong Romeo and Juliet vibes. The second is that she has saved his life twice at this point. It is a known phenomenon that when someone does such a thing gratitude can be mistaken for powerful love.

In fact, Aidan and Evangeline have both reported to have said that had Kíli survived the pair of them would have very rapidly recognised that this is not love at all. It is gratitude and infatuation and not something which could withstand the judgement of both of their peoples.

Here, they separate, and neither mentions the other at all. Tauriel is cast out of Mirkwood, Legolas vows he will not return without her which is a whole other host of problems on its own, and they go forth to Gundabad to see what the orcs are up to.

It is bad news, but then these things usually are.

Things go horribly wrong in Erebor, words and Arkenstones are exchanged, hobbits are nearly flung from very high places and battle commences while Dwalin attempts to knock some sense into a gold consumed Thorin. You can see why Kíli will not have had time to think about Tauriel at all.

With the battle joined, it is fight or die. Kíli is unaware that Tauriel is anywhere on the field, or that there is a trap waiting for him in that bloody tower and Tauriel… well she panics. Seeing that Thranduil is intending on withdrawing for the good of his people she stands before him and pulls a weapon on her king demanding that he stay and fight and help the dwarves. If not for the fact that Legolas comes and takes her toward Ravenhill I think Thranduil probably would have crossed a line into kinslaying right there and then. There is only so much disobedience and, frankly, treason one can endure from a subject before something more permanent needs to be done about them.

They get to the tower, Fíli is already dead and Kíli is desperately trying to hold his own against an ambush so that he can avenge his brother. And Tauriel, for some unfathomable reason, races through a tower full of orcs screaming his name. That… that is not how you do these things. At all. By doing that you draw the attention of every creature that is currently free to track you down and kill you.

Moving on.

Watch them fight against Bolg together. They do not do it well. Kíli is fabulous next to Fíli, and probably Thorin and Dwalin and any other dwarf for that matter. He probably would not do too badly with one of the Men beside him but the elvish style of combat and the dwarf style are very different and it does not mesh well for these two who barely really know each other. Legolas and Gimli fight in many of the same battles, but rarely side by side and they are certainly more in tune with one another than these two are. In this case, Tauriel is definitely panicking and I wonder if she would have done the same if it had been Legolas she was fighting with.

Somehow I doubt it.

Anyway, eventually they are overwhelmed, longing looks are exchanged and Kíli is killed. Tauriel breaks down to Thranduil who declares that it was clearly real love.

I just, there is so much wrong with this I hardly know where to start.

A lot of time is dedicated to this addition. It drives a wedge between Thranduil and Legolas that we had no reason to suspect existed, it deprives him of one of his loyal guards and it does absolutely nothing at all to affect the outcome of the quest for Erebor in a positive way. It adds nothing to Kili’s death, it does not make it any more of a tragedy than it is in the book. In fact, if anything I think it takes away from it a little bit. For those not in the know, in the book Thorin is felled on the field, fatally wounded by Bolg who is then crushed to death by Beorn. Fíli and Kíli, who do not wish to see their uncle’s body taken and desecrated, and likely hoping that there was some small chance he could be saved, fight over him as guards until they are overwhelmed and die side by side before help can come. It is, ultimately, a terrible waste of their lives. Thorin lives long enough to apologise to Bilbo in one of the healing tents, much as he does on the side of the mountain in the film, and then he dies.

So Tauriel has made no positive impact upon the outcome, it could be argued that her moment of hesitating to threaten Thranduil could have been the moments where she and Legolas might have reached the tower fast enough to save possibly Kíli, perhaps even Fíli, we will never know. What we do know is that the addition of the love triangle added extra time which could have been given to any of the rest of the Company, most of whom were given very little at all to do other than carry on in the background. We could have spent more time with Bilbo, who got shunted aside for the Legend of Legolas parts and, of course, the love triangle additions. We did not even get the funeral in the theatrical release!

It seemed to primarily be, well, filler. And the studio’s bizarre opinion that they were not going to get female viewers if they did not stick some form of romance in there. It seemed to almost be an attempt to mirror the Arwen, Aragorn, Eowyn triangle from the Lord of the Rings, except they missed the mark there spectacularly. Arwen knew very well what she was giving up in marrying Aragorn, and she ultimately made the same choice that her uncle had made thousands of years before as had her very nearly ultimate grandmother (bar Melian) before that. Tauriel could have had no concept at all of what she might have been tying herself to. And that does not even get into the political ramifications of it had Kíli survived, or if he and any one or both of Fíli and Thorin survived.

This next is, of course, speculation, because we have no real way of knowing.

Tauriel has sacrificed everything, her home and position for some dwarf she hardly knew. They think it is love, but in the coming weeks with Kíli dedicated to the mountain, whether alone as king or with his uncle and/or brother, distance begins to grow. Tauriel is an elf, she may have fought in the battle but she is still not completely trusted. Rumours from those who might have seen her interaction with Thranduil during the battle start to surface. Kíli might overlook them for himself, but could Thorin or Fíli? If they were to send Kíli to do something that Tauriel would not like, could they trust her not to do the same to them as she did to Thranduil? She owes them even less loyalty than she did him and she threw it all to one side in a heartbeat. If Kíli is the only one of the younger two who survived, where does that leave the succession? If he and Tauriel cannot have children together the throne is not secure, even if they could with all the millennia of bad blood between elf and dwarf will the general populace really accept a half elf on the throne? Especially one who might live forever. The answer there is very likely to be no, which will cause more problems further on and puts Dáin and later Thorin III Stonehelm on the throne again. So there was no point saving Kíli if the original timeline would come to pass anyway, if with a few more hurdles and a heap more unrest thrown in. In other words, it would cause a lot more contention than it would solve.

If they did grow apart, as the actors have stated they would, I think Tauriel would have come to resent Kíli for his role in her decisions, even though she was a grown elleth and perfectly capable of reasoning out possible consequences for herself. Evangeline says that Tauriel went back to Mirkwood after the battle and I suspect Thranduil forgave her out of pity and because he knew she had learnt a terrible lesson. I doubt, though, that she ever regained his trust, and I very much doubt she ever rose to any real position within the kingdom again. If Kíli had not died, I suspect her reception would have been less forgiving and more in the nature of “well if it isn’t the consequences of your actions” before being thrown from her home in disgrace.

Either ending is unhappy for her.

This whole diatribe actually makes it sound like I quite like the character, and there are some small parts of her that I do like. The film needed a strong female character, and this is perhaps one of the reasons that one of the more popular genderbends in the fandom is female Bilbo. Because either way, the story still works. And all the initial stuff with Tauriel worked. Her early interactions with Kíli, that snappy comeback which is actually a favourite because as a response to someone intending on unsettling her it is perfect, even that little bit of wanderlust that she lets seep out. Where it falls apart, and where my dislike stems, is the introduction of the love triangle, the huge power imbalance between them when it begins in the dungeons of Mirkwood, the fact that gratitude and love are allowed to blur over the line with no one questioning it. Except, perhaps, Fíli, who is the long suffering older sibling accustomed to his brother becoming infatuated with this or that pretty face or great warrior.

Had it been left at the wanderlust and the whole bit with the delirious confession been done away with, she could have still been great. Had she kept her head a bit better upon seeing Kíli fighting Bolg or even had a material effect on things for good I could possibly, possibly have overlooked how it all began. But that moment in the cells set my squick metre off and coloured my opinion of it from there. And even repeat watching has not helped me to see it in a positive light. It was filler, time wasting, and I find it hard to like a character who was introduced as someone that girls could look up to, and who became, instead, every cliché female love interest that I feared she would. They set her up, let her and us down, and as a result I prefer to pretend she never existed, or gloss over her entirely.

And because people are always asking me what my problem with her is I’ve grown to despise her.

Kíli is a grown dwarf, he is perfectly capable of making his own decisions and thinking for himself. Tauriel does not manipulate him into having feelings for her, she seems to be made uncomfortable by the confession in fact, but just as he is capable of thinking for himself, so is she. And I question every decision she made from the moment she locked him behind those bars, because that is where the Tauriel that Kíli met in the spider’s nest begins to vanish.

She could have been a great character and she did not need a love interest, or to become one, for that to happen. The studio handled her poorly, and that is why I would prefer to ignore the fact that she, and that stupid love triangle, ever existed.

#thehobbit #WhyTaurielisaproblem #Because I feel she is #fandom ramblings

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nocompromise-noregrets · 1 year

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I posted 16,488 times in 2022

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I tagged 16,412 of my posts in 2022

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Longest Tag: 139 characters

#that person generalising up there about how all smut authors are writing for that purpose and want to hear about its effect is entirely wro

My Top Posts in 2022:

Chapters: 115/115 Fandom: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien, TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Bard the Bowman/Thranduil, Bard the Bowman & Bard's Children, Bard the Bowman & Bard's Children & Tauriel, Tauriel (Hobbit Movies) & Thranduil (Tolkien), Bard's Children & Thranduil, Thranduil (Tolkien) & Tilda (Hobbit Movies), Sigrid (Hobbit Movies) & Thranduil (Tolkien), Bain of Dale & Thranduil, Bain of Dale & Bard the Bowman & Sigrid & Tilda, Bard's Children & Tauriel Characters: Bard the Bowman, Thranduil (Tolkien), Sigrid (Hobbit Movies), Tilda (Hobbit Movies), Bain of Dale, Tauriel (Hobbit Movies) Additional Tags: Post-Battle of Five Armies, Getting Together, Falling In Love, Fluff, Light Angst, Eventual Happy Ending, Romance, Feelings, opposite of slow burn, Pining, Mutual Pining, Long-Distance Relationship, Family Feels, Family Fluff, King Bard the Bowman, Negotiations, rebuilding of dale Series: Part 1 of My Heart Is An Empty Vessel Summary:

Bard can't stop looking at the Elvenking. Thranduil can't stop looking at the Bowman. After the battle, Thranduil is exhausted and vulnerable and Bard is feeling overwhelmed, and they find themselves leaning on each other for support. Everything moves very quickly after that.

Chapter 115 (the epilogue) now posted! In which, ten years later, the day of Sigrid's coronation has arrived; but first, there is something that Bard and Thranduil must do.

Well, here we are. This is the epilogue to the most unexpected, bewildering, enjoyable writing experience I think I've ever had. Posted on the second anniversary of posting the prologue, because I do like it when things come full-circle. Thank you so much to all of you who've commented, kudos'd, encouraged, prompted, asked and inspired, especially to my invaluable beta @lemurious, without whom this story would never have got beyond the first few chapters.

The story is not over, by any stretch of the imagination; there are pushing 40 other works in this series already, and most of my other stuff is also set in this 'verse (one of these days I'll collect everything in this 'verse in chronological order...). The actual sequel Break You But You'll Mend is still in progress (and developing plotlines faster than I can handle), and there will be a story focussing on the relationship between Sigrid and Tauriel which will show more of the events of the last few chapters than I was able to do from Bard and Thranduil's perspectives and will also cover the ten years between chapter 114 and the epilogue of this story and Sigrid's reign as Queen of Dale; for a Sigrid's-eye-view of the moment of her coronation, there's A Moment On The Edge, and for Bard and Thranduil's arrival in the Woodland Realm after the coronation, there's Deep In The Greenwood. And there'll be one final one-shot treat set just after that one for the final day of Writers' Month 2022, coming tomorrow, 31 August. Oh yeah, and for a little more on the Bain-and-Lotta situation, there's Second-in-Command. :D :D :D

28 notes - Posted August 30, 2022

Oh I'd love to read your thoughts on modern thranduil, legolas, any character you like

Hi, anon! I couldn't see myself writing a modern AU, originally (I'm not very good at AUs) so I didn't have many thoughts about modern versions of the characters, but then the idea for a daft Christmas movie AU came to me, and then All I Want Is You-'verse happened. In which:

Thranduil is Lord Greenwood, widowed, isolated, very lonely when his kids are away at boarding school, and he's rattling around in his enormous stately home with only Galion the butler for company. He owns, if not quite 'half the county' as Sigrid off-handedly puts it early on, a large country estate, which he runs as carefully, ethically and environmentally-responsibly as he can; he is painfully aware of the ridiculous privilege he's inherited through an accident of birth, and he tries his best to do good things with it all, support local community organisations and so on. He is rather reserved and, I think, actually quite shy (that's the British aristocracy for you...) which can come off as stand-offish and forbidding.

Legolas is eighteen years old, in his last year at boarding school, outgoing and friendly, into things like athletics and archery and history, and the member of the family most likely to be getting into trouble at protest marches, seed-bombing patches of wasteland, and probably superglueing himself to railings/diggers/bridges etc, given half a chance.

Tauriel is seventeen, very quiet and reserved, was adopted by Thranduil and his late wife when she was small after her parents died in a house fire - her dad was the woodsman on Thranduil's estate and Tauriel and Legolas had been best friends since they were tiny so it made all the sense. She likes horseriding, and she often goes and sits on the roof of Greenwood Hall to think. She also likes Sigrid, very much.

Bard is an exhausted, widowed single dad who was made redundant from his job as a museum curator (specialism: medieval weaponry) a few years ago and has been barely making ends meet as a delivery driver ever since. He'd like nothing more than to get another museum job, but there's nothing on the horizon. His one priority in life is making sure his kids are okay.

Sigrid is sixteen, also likes horseriding (and Tauriel, very much), and books and spends most of her time studying, working at the riding school at weekends in exchange for lessons, and looking after her siblings. (Her Da hates that she's had to take on so much responsibility)

Bain is fourteen, likes football and computer games, and if he were any more laid-back he'd be horizontal. He's quick-witted and more interested in his schoolwork, especially history, than he likes to let on. He's the artist of the family, too.

Tilda is ten, massively outgoing, given to asking awkward questions, thinks Legolas is the cat's pyjamas, and is probably going to be going to demonstrations with him just as soon as Covid's over. Weapons-grade cuteness which frequently requires warnings in chapter notes.

Thranduil has been noticing the very handsome delivery driver who's been bringing his wine orders (and may possibly have been making more orders as a consequence) but hasn't quite managed to actually speak to him...until he does, and then they bump into each other, quite literally, in town a couple of weeks before Christmas. At which point the kids take matters into their own hands. And then three months later the first lockdown happens and things rather accelerate from there. :D

I actually work, part-time, in a stately home, so I've ended up channelling all sorts of things into this story from personal experience, and I've been having a whale of a time with it, although I'm rather stalled on it at the moment (then again, I'm stalled on pretty much everything at the moment...)

I did write another modern AU for Tolkien Secret Santa, in which Bard and Thranduil were friends as teenagers and never quite got round to doing anything about (or indeed understanding) what they felt about each other before they went off to uni and lost touch, and then run into each other 25-odd years later; in that one Thranduil is a very repressed (and probably demisexual/grey-ace) top-flight QC (Queen's Counsel, a top lawyer) and Bard is assistant distribution manager for a brewery in their home town, and the kids are more or less as above - I had to put my foot down with that one at 14k words or it would have turned into another massive series and I haven't the time or the mental energy for it at the moment XD

I do tend to take the movie portrayal of Thranduil as inspiration rather than the book one, which is probably why my versions of him are all rather more reserved than many others. Which is why fandom is so awesome - there's room for everyone! :D

Thank you very much for asking! <333333 I've never really sat down and thought about my headcanons before, much less actually written a post for them. I am wondering whether perhaps I should do something like this for Empty Vessel-'verse (my enormous sprawling Middle-Earth-set series)...it's certainly big enough, and I do have a large number of headcanons for it at this point...

38 notes - Posted March 3, 2022

I commissioned this art of Bard and Bofur from The Ace of Spades having a nice quiet summertime pint in the beer garden of the Golden Dragon from the always-awesome @geetimesthree and it is DELIGHTFUL! Look at their smitten lovestruck faces! <33333333 THANK YOU! :D :D :D

45 notes - Posted July 6, 2022

I can't help but think that Tumblr is sleeping on The Boat that Rocked/Pirate Radio, given that it features two of the current sopping wet pathetic Tumblr sexymen boyfriends and by the end of the movie they're both literally sopping wet. I'd post a screenshot but the internet is also sleeping on this fantastically silly movie and I can't find any of the pertinent moments. Fans of Rhys Darby and Tom Sturridge being pathetic and wet, get ye thence! (and then come back to me and talk about why I'm right in thinking that Midnight Mark and Felicity are unlikely odd-couple best friends :D :D :D )

64 notes - Posted September 20, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Rules: tag 9 people you want to get to know better or catch up with (or tag whomever)

Tagged by the equally fabulous @mihrsuri, @palmviolet and @coopsgirl - thank you all! <33333

Favourite Colour: Purple, especially the blue-toned shades

Last Song: *checks spotify for what was playing in the car when I got home* Let Forever Be by the Chemical Brothers, although I wasn't really listening to it - I was cycling through a '90s indie' playlist.

Currently Reading: Nothing in particular - I haven't read a book in ages, being entirely without the mental energy and concentration, but I just received the English version of Ari Väntänen's biography of Hanoi Rocks' drummer Razzle and I am hoping to find the wherewithal to read it this weekend.

Last Movie: Good question, I can't remember. Hmmm. We've mostly been binge-watching Father Brown just lately.

Sweet, Savory or Spicy: All three, but not necessarily at the same time (although sweet chilli...hmm...)

Currently working on: Working up the wherewithal to try and make some progress on one or other of Empty Vessel, Break You But You'll Mend or All I Want Is You. Also the fourth unit of my Open University German course, since my third assignment was due in today and I submitted it on Tuesday.

Tagging: without any pressure, @writerman, @lonelyheartsmotel, @goldscythe, @spiced-wine-fic and anyone else who fancies doing this!

82 notes - Posted January 27, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #that number one post is only there because someone reblogged it to add their answers #and then everyone they tagged reblogged it to add *their* answers #and so on and so forth #XDDDDDD #anyway this is what i mean when i grouse about people complaining that their art and fic 'only' gets 300 notes :D #i never did read that razzle biography #need to do that sometime...#i need to check my tag bundles and even out the number of 3s in my hearts XDDDD

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