#this is an interpretation by the way‚ i don‘t know if he ever acted the particular play | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

that-lieutenant · 3 years

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Of the relationship between Mairon and the orcs

An assortment of various of my HCs in one shot format i guess

[This is my first time writing fanfic (whaaat) and i sadly don‘t have an ao3 account yet (but i‘ll get to it once my personal life isn‘t hell anymore) so please consider giving this some love :) ]

Also: this is heavily influenced by @lemurious writing (because all my silm interpretations nowadays are, i just love their content ahh)

His people.

His headstrong, steadfast, steel hard, loyal, ingenious, beautiful people.

When he first came upon them, their bodies had already adapted perfectly to the cold northern tundra of their homeland. Thick grey skin, heavy hair, stocky build.

The wars would add countless scars and burns and limbs of metal.

But that was later.

When he first met his people what was war to them? To him? Who knew then about the horrors they would be forced to face at the hands of the other species of Arda? At a time when they did not even know there were other species.

When he first came upon his people he thought they were the firstborn children Eru had shown the Ainur in their vision. He thought he had been successful in discovering them first, before the other Valar could. He had been so relieved that they would be spared a life in the stifling superficial horror that was Valinor.

And they really are the firstborn. These other, warm skinned, bright eyed, spindly thin creatures that came pouring back from west a couple centuries later, who were they but Valarin lackeys, transformed beyond recognition? And then they demanded land and loyalty and called their primogenitors disfigured and corrupted.

He knows now that he should not have been so surprised back then that these usurpers had shown themselves to have come with the blessing of Illuvatar. After all what were firstborn to Eru? Truly, what had been He Who Arises In Might, the firstborn of the Ainur, what had been his people, the firstborn of his children, to Eru?

The actions of this absentee god would speak clear words in the following millennia, they would come to learn.

When he first came to meet the true firstborn, when he lived among them, when he learned their customs, their language, their love and he found connections so deep they would fuel him for ages to come, that was when he knew he had found his people. And together with their leaders and his own brethren they were able to lay the foundations for a culture that would thrive in spite of its creator and the eternal war this creator perpetuated.

In merely a few centuries, together they were able to develop technologies that would not be seen again the following age.

And then?

The wrath and unquestioned self-righteousness of their enemies erupts over Beleriand and the years of intense warfare lead to brutal massacres. On both sides – he is nowhere close to being without fault; that fierce love of his people has lead him to commit some of the most heinous acts of violence over and over again – but even now he remembers climbing down into the ruins of their underground cities after their defeat. He remembers the protective bunkers filled with civilian bodies and standing in their spilled blood.

The ones that got out in time were mostly soldiers because they had been evacuatable once the defeat was imminent. But the workers, the engineers, the caretakers, the children, those who they had wanted to keep safe in the bunkers? It was too late for them by the time they realises that nothing they could do would stop the fortress from being taken. And then the Valar went on and slaughtered them all.

It is his fault. And at the time it seemed like the worst one he would ever make.

As a nuclear firestorm destroys Beleriand, as the remnants of an entire continent drown in the sea behind them, and he and what is left of his people loose everything, the only thing he can do is lead them away, further and further east. Until he can‘t even do that anymore.

Because at that point everything just collapses in on him. His work has been shattered to pieces, all his brethren and most of his trusted generals killed, his lord, his partner, his lover, his pillar was taken and with that he just stops functioning.

In their hour of greatest need he abandons his people. After all, the only thing he ever seems to bring to them is war and death.

For a millennium he just… There is no purpose, no responsibility. Distantly he hears of the hardships his people are facing now in the East. How slow civilisations develop without the energy of a Vala or three radiating stones to power them. But he shuts it all out. He becomes numb to it.

And strangely, when he stumbles upon the new settlements of the second firstborn he isn‘t filled with unadulterated unstoppable rage. He is just tired. After all, what, truly, are these creatures but the Valar‘s playball in their game of who-is-the-most-despicable-without-realising? And strangely, these Eldar do not recognise who he is.

So why not, he thinks. Why not live in easy expedients for once, why not push away the past and continue to abdicate any responsibility he has to his that people? He crafts a name and a lie to start his new life of ignorance is bliss.

Oh, sweet Tyelpe. How easy it is to share the discoveries they had made in the first age with this ellon when the reward is all eyes big of wonder and desperation to discover more of this „Valinorian“ technology. It is so much like in the old days when he and his brethren and the best scientist of his people would find new methods and formulas to describe the world around them that he can‘t help but loose himself in the intelligent conversations of their workshop, the peaceful thriving of their city, the warm tenderness of their embrace.

They work to create better methods of gaining and storing energy then until they eventually develop the rings that can provide enough power to sustain entire cities.

They plan to make rings for the strongholds of dwarves and men and Eldar. But what about his people, he finds himself thinking. These technologies that are now used in the elvish kingdoms, they are only a small part of what was developed by and for him and his people in the first place. So what about his people?

He feels restless now. Old anger at injustice and blind self-righteousness arise in him again. In secret he starts travelling to the settlements his people have made in a country they call Mordor. The conditions there are rough and the technology now primitive compared to their glorious past but he sees a lot of recent progress.

All of the generals and leaders of old are long dead now and it takes a lot of time and effort to convince his people to trust him again, that he can and will help and that he won‘t abandon them again. They start building an underground city and a fortress once more, Barad-dûr, where the energy will be harvested. He creates a ring more powerful than any of the ones before. It has to supply the entire population after all.

When he returns to Eregion something has changed.

He can feel a strange charge in the air. Are the Eldar suspecting something? They all seem very worried at the sudden surge of activity in Mordor and he is starkly reminded that these Eldar, at the end of the day they still view his people as an ultimate but also undignified threat.

He knows something is wrong when Tyelpe suggests that their rings might also be used as a weapon. One of mass destruction. Mass destruction of his people that is. Tyelpe leaves that unsaid but it is clear as day what he means.

He doesn‘t need to worry about the rings for the elven cities anymore, Tyelpe tells him then and smiles.

A primordial fear settles into his bones. The horror at what is to come turns his stomach. What has he done? How could he have given all this help, all this power to the Eldar when they would only turn around and use it against his people?

He remembers sitting outside on some steps, pulling at his hair, his entire body shaking, growing increasingly mad at all the options that seem to slip out his hands one by one. And when Tyelpe comes to meet him there the only thing left for him to do is to push the ellon against a pillar, knife to his eye and demand the elvish rings he devised in secret. But Tyelpe laughs bitterly and spits in his face.

So it is truly you, the abhorred one, the dark foe‘s torturer, his whore.

This time it is his own wrath that razes cities to the ground. His people are ready for war. They have to be. And the next centuries are dictated by mindless destruction and production lines of battle machinery being the first thing that is re-introduced into the city of his people.

But still the population grows again, the conditions improve, their underground civilisation expands and he finds that he can make alliances with some of the human tribes and kingdoms that they had given rings of power to.

He and his people once again find ways to live in perfect symbiosis with the harsh climate of their land. Volcanic soil is fertile, air and water can be filtered and the ring offers them enough power to sustain artificial lights for growing crops underground and more.

It‘s progress but one that they keep secret. Because just like he is fuelled by the fear of elvish development, the Eldar would surely bring about another war of wrath if they knew about the advancements of his people.

The whole Numenorean ordeal that followed some centuries later was a mess. When that conquerer-king and his armies march upon Mordor he has no choice but to give in quickly. They cannot risk being invaded. Luckily these men are self-complacent enough to take their smugness and their ‚victory‘ and leave again. Though they also feel the need to drag him to that forsaken island of theirs.

Ar-Pharazon truly was a conquerer. He stretched his hands further and further for more colonies on the continent while his nation corroded away with by civil war. The golden king took and took from everyone around him and the displays of subjugation he was continually forced to perform to this king were manifold and in all kinds of ways.

Of course the wrath of the Valar that they unleashed upon the island as soon as they felt slightly threatened in their superiority was in the end blamed on him. He only ever indulged the Numenoreans‘ fantasies. When they brought him to their island it was already on the brink of collapse with conflict and misanthropic ideologies. Sure he, too, lost himself a bit in that collective insanity; he was complicit, so was everyone else. And then Eru felt they could cast judgement upon all these individuals and drowned yet another continent.

He laughs in the face of such insolence. It‘s hysterical, maybe more so a scream.

Then the water hits his body. It presses all the air out, breaks his ribs, crushes his lungs.

When he awakes again he is floating on a piece of driftwood, endless blue stretches around him. His body is raw and for some reason he finds himself unable to shift form anymore. He starts to panic, tries to force his particles to regroup in a way that forms a bird, a fish, something, he needs to get out of this blue emptiness now, he needs to – what is happening??

There is another war at the end of that age, but by that time his memory has turned into an indecipherable blur. It leads to yet more massacre. But worst of all, they take the ring.

For him it is as if all the tissue that holds him together suddenly loosens. He falls to his knees, sacks into himself. He can feel his spirit oozing out of the leaks that now penetrate his form. He stumbles back.

In the underground city the lights go dark, the industrial production comes to a standstill, the water and air filters turn off. His people pour out of their homes once they start to starve, once they realise that their military has lost the war and that their government has no way of dealing with the catastrophe.

They are in need but once again he is abandoning them. He is just so tired.

In the tower there is a large tank with cooling liquid for the energy production of the ring that he now lies in. In the pitch-black darkness his bones have started to shine with a dim fluorescent green. His body has started to disintegrate.

Outside he can feel the remnants of his peoples civilisation fall to ruin a second time. It takes only a few decades for them to return to the primitive conditions of their life without a secure energy supply.

And then suddenly it‘s not only his body that disintegrates anymore but the heavy elements in him too. At a faster rate than is normally used to power an Ainu‘s body that is. The heat of the nuclear fission that has set in brings the coolant to the boil and he had just barely enough mind and willpower left to set off the steam turbine. With a thudding noise the whole energy plant slowly comes to life again.

And for the next millennia Mairon lies submerged in the coolant tank, his body glowing and radiating and falling apart, his atoms splitting and powering a city that has been abandoned and he can only hope that his people will come back and reclaim what is theirs by right and rebuild their lives, their culture, their technology with the last energy that he has to give.

#How Mairon turns himself into an atomic reactor: a powerpoint with pictures #sci fi tolkien #silmarillion #tolkien #mairon #orcs #lotr #silmarillion fanfiction #fanfic #technology #science in tolkien #sauron

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noonymoon · 4 years

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JUSTICE FOR JESUS — Misconceptions & Prejudices about the Faith in the Biblical Jesus Christ.

PART TWO: But why are Judaism and Christianity extremely different from one another, if they worship the same God?

The short answer is: Satan has infiltrated Christianity around 300 A.D. and turned it into something ENTIRELY else than God said, and Judaism developed to be an extremely religious system with 48942084 rules on top of the rules that YHWH originally established for Israel - like the food laws (which according to modern Science are for a very good reason and me personally, I try to eat as „kosher“ as I can as well because I know God doesn‘t say ANYTHING just to show His dominance, He ALWAYS has 100% good reason to say things and usually all these things are in OUR best interest). Also, at some point Judaism had all the oral traditions of the Rabbis, and the Kabbalah, which is 100% mysticism and magic, when God makes abundantly clear from the VERY beginning that He HATES sorcery, witchcraft, divination, all kinds of occult secrets and arts; and He has all reason to do that. Which you will probably only understand if you watch this video series

I‘m going to adress „Christian Witches“ and „Christian Mystics“ for a second directly and I pray you would listen and REPENT because God makes it abundantly clear that you can not serve two Masters, there‘s no way you can be God‘s child and dabble in occult practices. The Bible says very clearly that everyone gets judged according to their knowledge. So, knowing the Truth about God and Jesus, you still decided to turn your back on Him and mock Him and His Truth („Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.“ — Galatians 6:7) - I really don‘t want to be in your shoes when Judgment Day comes. I understand that you have been hurt by the institutional church, that you needed „more“ than „this“ and that you thought Occultism would make you more „spiritual“ and more „fulfilled“; thousands of Christians have been hurt by the church and dabble in the New Age. But there‘s NO WAY that God will forgive you for being a CHRISTIAN WITCH. It‘s. Not. Possible.

The longer answer is: From the moment Jesus was crucified and was raised to life again by his Father, the Devil knew that he has literally NO POWER anymore. Satan has held humanity in chains since practically the beginning of time, because he had the keys to Sheol since Adam and Eve fell into a linear existence in Eden and would ultimately die, and every single descendant of them (to be more specific it is the Father who bequeathes the spiritual nature of a human, that‘s the whole point of Jesus having a human virgin mother and God Himself as His Father) would be under the curse of death, and when people are afraid to die someday, well, they do all kinds of ridiculous things. The only way Satan can accomplish his goals (of ruining every single person on the planet) is to discredit, confuse and alter the work that Jesus finished on Golgotha. So basically, He can‘t change that it‘s all done, but he can change the way we perceive Jesus; he can change the way we collectively think, behave, feel, act - to take us away from God and His Truth as far as possible; he can change the way how humans „interpret“ God and Jesus and what has been done for us, he can basically distort EVERYTHING, except the fact that it is DONE. He KNOWS there‘s not much time left for Him - because Satan is a diligent student of Bible prophecy and uses literally EVERY flawed translation, every piece that could slightly be misunderstood and develops WHOLE doctrines and denominations and cults of them; in some few cases he even managed to alter the text of the Bible entirely to create a doctrine, today the CORE doctrine of Christianity - without it, you can‘t be a pastor or preacher without getting extreme backlash and will be considered a Heretic or cult leader, and that „you would lead people astray“, and this doctrine will steal your salvation and 90% of all Christians don‘t even notice it, it‘s just so sad. And when you speak up against this doctrine, the Holy Christians suddenly become nasty and call you a Heretic, like? Yes, of course that is God‘s Holy Spirit dwelling within you, and not that counterfeit one from Satan (because Satan can disguise as an angel of Light if he needs to, he once WAS the most beautiful and glorious Angel in Heaven, but his pride and arrogance ruined his heart. So basically, YES, Lucifer‘s/Satan‘s powers are VERY real and VERY powerful, but he will NEVER be as amazing as Jesus, and he most certainly will NEVER be as amazing as God, who created him!)

Basically, when Satan knew that the brilliant plan of Salvation was accomplished when Jesus was raised alive again after His crucifixion, he tried his first attack: relentless persecution of the Apostolic Church from 31 A.D. until ~320 A.D. through both the Jews and the Romans. But Christianity EXPLODED to that time, because the Gospel was pure, the Apostles and Disciples were extremely effective and the body of believers was just amazing. Then, Satan noticed that the message of Salvation in Jesus spread so hard that there was no point in persecuting every single Christian, so his new strategy was to infiltrate it and morph it from within.

“From the first moment of his accession declaring himself the protector of the church...the first emperor who publicly professed and established the Christian religion...rendered Christianity the reigning religion of the Roman empire” The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, Edward Gibbon, Vol 2 Chap 16, pg 138.

This was no other than the Roman Emperor Constantine who professed to be converted to Christianity in 323 A.D. himself, but his belief at best was a blend of paganism and Christianity for political purposes, to keep unity in his empire. This change of events was the reason why pagan and occult practices, traditions and beliefs from Ancient Babylon could infiltrate the true Gospel of Salvation, and sadly it‘s been like that EVER SINCE.

So basically, there‘s no reason at all why Christianity and Judaism should be THIS much of a difference. The faith should be the exact same with the only (major) difference, that one group accepts Jesus, the Son of God, and gains everlasting Life and the other group refuses to accept Jesus, and will not. But both groups have developed into something that God absolutely never wished for. Christians always feel like they are so high and mighty and yet they have NO IDEA that they will not make it to Heaven themselves, because they ALL teach, believe and practice doctrines and traditions (of men) that have NOTHING to do with the God of Israel and mock Him without even knowing it. God says in the Bible that people who diligently SEEK Him and who don‘t fall for man-made doctrines and traditions, THOSE people who overcome the world and overcome THINGS OF THIS WORLD with the magnificent power of Christ, will have Everlasting Life.

Satan raised up his own „Christian“ church through pagan Rome and when he made it big and strong enough, he went back to his first strategy: relentless persecution and execution of true Bible-believing Christians, which we all know as the years of Papal Supremacy or „the Dark Ages“ from 538 A.D. to 1798. And why was it dark? Because there was no spiritual light in the world: The Papacy has managed to destroy all of the ~500 different language translations of the Bible in that time, the common people had no access to the Word of God and the only language the Bible was available in was Latin, and most people could not read Latin. This was a truly dark time for humanity and believers in God. And then, thank God, the protestant Reformation started, the Bible got translated for the common people again, preachers stood up for the Truth of God‘s word, risked their own lives for spreading the true Gospel, got rid of a lot of the terrible blasphemy in those days, millions of true Bible-believing Christians got burned alive as Heretics and Witches, only because they wouldn‘t bow down to the Papal Church.

Sadly, they as well, adopted an essential doctrine from the Roman Catholic Church and so now today, only people who are not indoctrinated by Religion and discover God, Jesus and the Bible for themselves, without Church, Pastors and Creeds, have the Truth of God. I remember at the beginning of my walk with Jesus, I‘ve thought I need to find a church congregation and attend church every Sunday and so I‘ve tried it once. My local Church is a VERY beautiful church on the inside and I was moved to tears just being there, but as soon as I listened to the sermon, felt the atmosphere and saw the other people in there, i just KNEW in my spirit that God is not present at ALL. It was very disappointing and so I never went to church again. Ever since then, I‘ve learned A TON and know exactly why I had felt this way. God truly is not in the institutional Church - how could He, when all churches belong to Satan?

Up until this day the Papacy, who claims to be the Mother of ALL churches, even the protestant and evangelical ones, says things like: „Let Judaizers be anathema!“ which means that people who practice Jewish traditions rather than Catholic traditions should be accursed (!) as if the Jesus that walked the Earth 2000 years ago was a Roman European and NOT A JEW, like..????. It‘s just bewildering what Satan has accomplished to make people stray away from God and His Son.

In case you ever wondered why „Christian“ Holidays, rituals and beliefs are so similar to the ones of Pagans, why monumental church buildings have been planted on ancient sacred pagan sites, why Christianity seems like a „high and holy“ version of Paganism - it was NOT God, it was NOT Jesus, it was NOT even the Bible, simply said: it was the Roman Catholic Church (Satan) and no one else. 98% of all things that Catholicism believes, teaches AND REQUIRES is absolute blasphemy when you take God‘s Word as the highest authority (which the Scriptures says we SHOULD do, lest we be deceived, nothing will ever contradict the Bible that is true and of God) yet Catholicism is the largest, most influental and most powerful Church; how? Because the Papacy developed something that is called „Papal Infallibility“ which enables them to literally be the scum of the Earth (if you think that I am being rude, please read the following picture carefully) without facing any repercussions!

Maybe it becomes more clear now why Christianity is utterly misunderstood, hated and judged. It was not Jesus Christ, it was „MYSTERY, BABYLON THE GREAT, THE MOTHER OF HARLOTS AND ABOMINATIONS OF THE EARTH.“ — Revelation 17:5 .... and Christians today get confronted with, for example, the Crusades and how Christianity is the worst Religion in the world and they don’t even know how to answer because they never cared to investigate their own Faith! Every evil deed that has ever happened within “Christianity” was, in fact, the Roman Catholic Papal Church who belongs to Satan himself.

According to an Ex-Jesuit (special order of Roman Catholic Priests) whose whistleblowing testimony I‘ve posted a few posts back, the Opus Deii (who disguise themselves as „Christian Democracy“ like my country pretends to be) is an arm of the Jesuit Infiltration that is responsible for the Illuminati, the Masons, the New Age Movement, the Trilateral Commission, the Club of Rome, and many more; and all of them serve just one purpose: The total control and world domination of the Roman Catholic Church (Satan).

If you love Jesus and are a Catholic brother, PLEASE LEAVE IT BEHIND.

Thank God that He not only gave us our world, our existence, and his Son Jesus, but also the Bible, which tells us EXACTLY what is going to happen and who the Enemy is, when we make the effort to study, and keep Jesus close to our hearts.

It grieves my heart that God and Jesus are so misunderstood because of Satan‘s works and that millions, the majority of all humans that ever lived and all humans that live right now, in these last days of humanity, are all deceived and will perish. And to any other generation in the past I would have said „well.. at least you had an entire human life experience, if it made you happy, then so be it“, but this generation right now, is the one that will regret their decision the most because every person under 60 will not even be close to having an entire human life experience, nor will it be happy. The worst thing is that which is going to manifest until ~2025 will not even be worth considered as a whole „human life experience“. If you think that Covid-1984 was a tough year, buckle up, because from now on it‘s going to get worse and worse.

I know I say this a lot but today I cried on my way back from the supermarket because it‘s just so devastating to see Prophecy unfolding right in front of my eyes and everyone is VAST ASLEEP. People STILL wonder why it was possible that Hitler (who, by the way, was a Catholic, not a true Christian like he claimed, no wonder he was deeply wrapped up in the Occult) rose to power, how it was possible that we Germans didn‘t notice and didn‘t do anything to stop him from the evil things he did, why we gave him power and authority ... One word: Propaganda. Germans back then were absolutely brainwashed, just like today, WE are being brainwashed globally. And I can PROMISE you 100% that you WON‘T like where our world is heading and everyone will cry „but how could this happen?“ just like they cried about Hitler.

I pray that God‘s chosen people wake up in time, that these posts can help someone to find Christ, see through the deceptions of this world and be set free from Satan‘s bondage. Life is so much more than what we think it is, and honestly, if you‘re like me; always craved for deeper connections, more support and more honest affection in your social circles but never received it, always felt like an alien to everyone else, never had anyone to talk to about meaningful things because everyone was just shallow, then please just maybe consider Jesus as your best friend, because HE LOVES YOU and you will never ever be lonely ever again and you will always, always feel loved and „at home“. Jesus is literally the BEST thing that has ever happened to me, and I truly tried to be happy in this world. You have NO IDEA what I‘ve experienced in my 30 years, I‘ve literally experienced ALL OF IT, and nothing has ever given me peace and love and sanity. Only Jesus. I will never exchange that ever again for nothing! And I wish this experience to literally everyone because it‘s the most beautiful thing ever.

TESTIMONIES

How I Know God is REAL... my encounter with Jesus

Atheist To Believer In Jesus Christ: How Jesus Cured My Eating Disorder

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#Jesus Christ #christian witch #jesus loves you #God is Good #spirituality #catholic #paganism

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strechanadi · 5 years

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POB Swan Lake overthinking no. 783

I don’t have time for this, she said. I have to work on actual papers, she said. And here she is, writing shitload of words about another POB Swan Lake, since she’s a respectable, responsible adult human being.

(Dear @spinmelikeyoumeanit, this is purely your fault, please do know I hate you right now. Enjoy the madness and all the mistakes I am far too lazy to correct. If I’d be able to find them in the first place, that is.)

Shockingly enough, I was yet again asked to share my opinions on POB Swan Lake. And we all know the real meaning behind question „what did you think about SL?“ is in POB case „What did you think about Wolfgang/Siegfried relationship?“ Can’t quite believe that after the madness that was 2016 recording, someone think it healthy to let me dive into this once again. But you wanted it, so here we go!

You know, despite my academic title, that was supposed to made me educated in matters of history, theory, aesthetics, and who the hell knows what else of dance, I’m still just 5yo child in a overgrown body deep down. So watching anything on stage I am still very much driven by my feelings, my opinions formed by and based on my liking certain things and disliking others (and by disliking I mean hating – 5yo child, don’t forget that). I am all too well aware of my reviews, critics, even the supposedly professional ones, being strongly personal and not at all objective. (As I think is pretty clear even from bad English translations…) (And let’s not begin with the „is it even possible to write an objective, i.e. unbiased, review at all?“ let’s just… not.) (Because it surely is and it‘s just me, painfully incapable of doing so, and desperately trying to hide my own lameness by saying such things as „it can’t be done, so why wasting time trying?“) (However an essay on me and my way of writing things is absolutely different matter, that no one was asking for, and reasonably so. I’m going to shut up now and maybe even get myself to the point…)

Thinking about yesterday’s performance, there’s one feeling coming back constantly, no matter how valiantly I’m trying to fight it. It’s disappointment. And I HATE it! Partly because – come on, disappointment is not at all something one should feel after watching Nureyev’s POB SL, partly because it’s utterly absurd – the company was in top shape, 2nd and 4th act corps de ballet flawless, Nureyev’s choreography still one of the best I know. And yet…

It’s like I cannot be given POB SL I would like 150%, without questions, without reservations.

Don‘t get me wrong, I love the 2005 recording. It opened my eyes, it made me realize French technique is IT for me, it showed me Karl for the first time and made me fell in love with him (and with Wolfgang) the second he stepped on stage in prologue (if anybody ever tells you love at first sight doesn’t exist, well…). I utterly loved Agnes as Odette/Odile and after few years I realized I actually adore the costumes, the faded colours, the weirdly dreamy atmosphere. But even though I got to understand José Martinez and his interpretation of Siegfried at the end (like after 3 years, never said I was the brightest one), I still felt there’s something missing for me to be completely happy. (But then again, there was Karl the-best-Wolfgang-one-could-ever-hope-for Paquette, and that alone could make me happy for days!)

Knowing me you are probably a bit confused right now, because hello, you were obsessing over 2016 recording for literal weeks, you wrote utterly mad review on it AND another positively deranged essay on main characters, you were clearly unable to shut up about it for even 5 seconds, so what the hell are talking about now, not being 150% happy with any SL recording so far. Well yes, I got to see Siegfried I loved embarrassingly much, and Wolfgang/Rothbart that worked so well with him, that I was almost able to forget Karl (for exactly 27 seconds or so), but then there was Amandine, whose Odette was just… well… eh, nothing special, and as minor issue as it may seems, it still left the faintest bitter taste somewhere deep, deep down, thanks to which I simply couldn’t make myself to say – yes, this is the best Swan Lake of all Swan Lakes I’ve ever seen and you all should just stop with whatever you are doing right now and go watch it (even thought it was one of the best Swan Lakes I’ve ever seen and you all should stop with whatever you are doing right now and go watch it).

And now, now I got Odette/Odile with personality and strong charisma again, Wolfgang that is still more Rothbart that anything else, but that I got used to. And Siegfried, who I fucking hate. There. My inner child strikes again. In full force.

Honestly, Germain was my biggest disappointment. And kind of the only one, thinking about it now. It’s rather ridiculous, dismiss the whole performance because of one character, isn’t it? And that character being Siegfried. It’s not like there are not quite few SL with a bit boring princes, right? It’s kind of expected, not that shocking, is it? But hell – if I love Nureyev’s ballets it’s because he’s given his male heroes more time, more space, more dance, more personality. If I love Nureyev’s SL it’s because of Siegfried being the main character (and because of Wolfgang/Rothbart, because of corps de ballet, because of many other things, but you get my point, surely). This SL demands much from its main hero, and is not forgiving. Or maybe in reality it is and the unforgiving bitch is me. And rest assured I am. I love Siegfried. I love his character, the possibilities the dancer’s given in interpretation and I fucking love his variations. And Germain kind of killed everything, or almost everything for me. It is personal, of course it is, how it cannot be? But one just couldn’t mess one of the most beautiful variations ever made and expect I’d be just, you know what, whatever, your feet were pointed, your 5th position perfect, your technique overall crystal clear, and you are pretty, so who cares? Who cares about interpretation? Who cares about how it seems you have no idea, what you were doing 5minutes ago, what you are doing now and where your character is heading? God, Germain, please, this Siegfried is not just some other prince. He’s so much more than that. You could do practically anything with his character, built it the way you want, the way you are, the way you believe. Just use that pretty head of yours and what’s inside!

There were moments in act 1 (that, let’s be clear, sets the mood for the whole thing), that were promising. I loved what a child Siegfried was, how eager he was to pleased Wolfgang, what an adorable little puppy he could be. (And what is it with me and puppies lately?! First Armand, then one of Bourne’s princes, now Germain, when does this stop? I should choose different animal, seriously. Or different comparison altogether…), but the more promising these moments were – like the one, where Siegfried was looking at Wolfgang as (and I cannot describe it in any other way) a blushing virgin, which, and I swear, made me screamed so loud it could be heard across the ocean! - the more frustrating the outcome.

As I said yesterday, Germain’s Siegfried was like 5yo. You can tell just by looking at him the moment Wolfgang stopped him from following the other boys. I kind of expected Siegfried’s going to stamp his feet or something equally mature :D (but he just went and killed off my favourite variation) (I cannot watch it without screaming, so don’t make me just so you would know what exactly I found problematic).

If anything, his interpretation was simply incoherent. All right, you decided to portray your prince as a child, so pure, so clueless, fine. But if the only thing you can do is one smile, it’s too little, and it is really hard to make your character convincing and not simply annoying after 5 minutes. (Yeah, we got it, you are dreamy, starry eyed kid, cool, could you maybe do something different now? ANYTHING?) But OK. Still could work. But then there’s Siegfried’s variation at the end of act 1. And suddenly you are acting like the teenage prince who is about to marry, who is forced to become and adult and who is scared and has his doubts and all that, but – there was exactly NOTHING before in your way of building your character, that would justify such change. No self-doubt during whole act. None. Zero. Who are you trying to convince now? It’s not going to work all of sudden! And then, another ultimate favourite part of mine – Siegfried/Wolfgang duet. And Siegfried is yet again his unsuspecting, depending, pure baby self. And reading this, you may think, OK, well it could make sense, don’t be such a bitch about it. But it didn’t make sense. The whole interaction had so much potential from Francois‘ part and almost nothing from Germain in return (apart from his perfectly perfect legs – I swear, should he spent as much time thinking about his character as much as he seemed to be thinking about his technique, what an interpretation we could‘ve seen)!

Someone on twitter or somewhere said Germain did his variations beautifully, but they looked more like from concours, than from an actual performance. And that’s exactly it. Not just he became all melancholic out of blue, but the second he was about to do a sissone or a pirouette or a developpé or anything, he was all about technique, about pointed feet, about jump higher and I wanted to scream (so I did).

What hurts me the most is knowing it really, truly could have made sense. Were Germain’s presence more genuine, more real… (or at least consistent!)

Francois was his usual self as Wolfgang. Still more Rothbart in disguise (*sigh* I want Karl *more pathetic sigh*), smug smile on his face the entire time (I caught myself smirking with him, so he did something right, I’d say) (or maybe I’m just a bad person who would love too much to play with this Siegfried and make him suffer without him even knowing what’s going on) (I told you he was annoying, didn’t I?), he was aware of his power, he was using it freely, enjoying himself (maybe in a bit more reserved manner than in 2016, more for his sake, than for show, even though he could probably laugh at Siegfried’s face and the prince would still run to him happily). And there was Siegfried, all wide eyes, unguarded smiles, so out of touch with anything he physically needed Wolfgang to hold his hand to take him here and there (at one moment pretty disturbing idea crossed my mind – how it would be easier for Wolfgang to just have a leash… I sincerely apologize for my brain, I’d like to say it’s not my fault, truly, but it most probably is.)

Honestly – it was far too easy for Wolfgang this time. This Siegfried believed him implicitly, without question, without doubt, completely, unreservedly, with everything he has, while having no idea, while being completely unaware of a single thing going on around him, not to mention with him. Their relationship was (or could have been) (sorry, inner child, remember) even more uncomfortable, with all those touches literally all over prince’s body – his bare neck, his chest, his arms, his hands, and yet there was anything remotely sexual (not even intimately intimate – if it makes sense) between them. Which was a good thing, because that would be pure child’s pornography…

In act 4, Francois‘ Rothbart was positively mad. Like cartoon villain mad. And it is so not for me… (give me Karl, please, give me all his performances, and if it’s too much, give me just his 4 acts, that’s all I would ever ask for, pretty, pretty, pretty please with the whole cherry tree on top)

You know me (well you don’t, but you do in a way, which is terrifying and I hope you all have already come to terms with me have to kill you some day), I love looking for things, for meaning of this and that, analysing every tiny bit of one interaction between characters (i.e. overthinking everything and making up more and more insane theories) (this applies on ballet only, I’m literally unable to see anything that is not canon in literature/tv shows/films/whatever, so if I had the misfortune of stumble over fandom of one thing or another, I’m more often than not at loss for what the people are talking about, but that is probably just my own autism showing…) – but with this SL, this Siegfried, I had to try unreasonably hard to see something. And that’s simply wrong. The (over)analysing should be an outcome of pure need, that was brought into life by strong emotions you felt while watching something, it should come naturally. There should be no effort, no trying… It’s quite easy – heart, then mind. If there’s nothing in your heart in the first place, why bother your poor, overworked brain with it? While it probably doesn’t even exist. It doesn’t make sense.

So to sum this whole SL up, here you have my ultimate conclusion:

Siegfried wasn’t just autistic, he had serious mental affliction. I mean, weren’t Wolfgang right sadistic bastard, he could tell Siegfried to jump out of window, be done with it and spare himself all the effort.

And since it’s 3.30 AM again, I’m going to bed. To sleep. Not watching Siegfried variations when they were perfect and therefore the world still made sense… (God, it is I who have mental affliction!)

#ballet #swan lake #le lac des cygnes #overthinking #who needs sleep anyway #I clearly hate myself #woohoo!!!#also I'm clearly Karl-deprived #looking at you POB!

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tayegi · 6 years

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i have so many theories right now...what if the guys are just trying to win a bet set on the oc? or maybe jk just doesn’t realize he likes the oc and mistakes his own actions as platonic ones? also, as readers, we see the story through the oc’s eyes so we focus on that angst part at the end of chap9, but then again, the oc has stated multiple times to hoseok and so many people that her and jk would never be more. whatever she went trough there, jk could have been trough the same a million times.

ahhhh you guys are the best!!! srsly i am so honored to have so many thoughtful, lovely, incredible asks theorizing about the plot and what jk’s intentions are!!! i would love to respond to each and every one of them, but unfortunately, i am unable to confirm or deny anything!

But i think these are super interesting and i’ve read all of them, and i’d love it if other ppl did as well! MORE ASKS UNDER THE CUT:

Anonymous said:I know Hoseok wasn’t in this chapter but I feel like Hoseok is gonna play her like jk did and she’s gonna be left in the dust with no one and resort to being even more icy. Jungkook has a lot of problems and it’s really evident that he likes her in that way. Fuckbois are really something else man. They get scared of affection yet lead girls on and make them scared of it. It’s like a constant cycle of insecurity. Damn I wish she was with jimin. He would’ve provided all the love and affection

Anonymous said:lmao why is everyone assuming jk will never change and that he’s going to be an Evil Fuckboi™️ forever. like, we can see how the oc changed throughout the story, so why y’all thinking jk can’t do the same. the story isn’t over, there is more to learn, and the oc and jk have more development to go through. anyway, deep in my heart I’m hoping they’ll get a happy ending 💜

Anonymous said:Why do I get the feeling that Jungkook has slight romantic feelings towards the oc but his fear of not wanting to get hurt outweighs those thoughts. I don’t know though I might be completely off😫Thank you for the update!

Anonymous said:I tried reading the story in JK's POV and I cant help but feel as if he isnt the one at fault for making OC cry. Yes, he rejected her but he's known as a fkboy. He stated clearly that he didn't want a relationship, he thought OC knew that clearly. Thus he thought they were just friends. All the things he said was misinterpreted into a romantic way cause people kept forcing OC to view their relationship romantically. I felt that if ppl didnt do that, OC wldnt have developed feelings for him.

carlyangel123 said:Ok everyone is saying that Jungkook hasn't changed at all and I'm not saying like oh yall wrong or anything😂. But I think, based on Jungkook's showcase of clinginess and affectionate actions through the past chapters, that he HAS fallen for the OC. However, bc of his past (not wanting to go through another possible heartbreak), his assumption the OC would never like him, and just maybe insecurities that he's denying it and forcing himself to be indifferent like the OC did in the beginning.🤔🤔

Anonymous said:Nah nah nah nah lu i refuse to believe that everything jungkook did was all platonic but through oc’s eyes we saw as romantic. Im trying to remember everything he’s done for her and trying to see it from a platonic pov but i cant. So here’s my conclusion: jk likes oc but during the car ride and seeing his hand in hers he had a realization and became fearful of being hurt like he was before. Thats why he put his barriers up again CUZ LIKE HOW COULD THAT BE THE SAME JK I JUST ALDJSKAHALA

Anonymous said:Jin was an ass who only wanted sex, cheated on y/n and didn't care for her, many people think that Jk may've gone through something similar with his ex, but I think JK's ex was totally different, she was in fact... the opposite. Possessive, wanted to be with jk all the time, didn't let him breath, etc... That's why he doesn't want a relationship, he suffered the opposite extreme of what the oc suffered with jin, also this would mean the oc is the complete opposite to jk's ex aka why he likes her

Anonymous said:i’m analyzing NR again and just a theory of my own: jk’s relationship with his ex girlfriend started as a fwb type and jk was the one to develop feelings first, and at first it was good and then severely went downhill? this theory is probably far from correct, but i was just piecing together the fact that he hates hookup culture, but is able to engage in it with OC, maybe jk just wanted the physical emotion or OC reminds jk of his ex? anyways i’m enjoying the story so so much! best wishes lu 💜

Anonymous said:Wait so like OC got reminded of Jin when she met JK, so I thought that maybe JK saw himself in OC? Bc sometimes they REALLY think alike.. Idk man I just had this idea.. I LOVE YOU SO DAMN MUCH LU HAVE A NICE DAYYYY–❄️🐰

Anonymous said:I've been thinking about oc's relationship with seokjin and jk's with his ex gf. We don't know anything about her except two things: the oc reminded jk of her (as jk reminded her of seokjin) and the "don't leave me like she did" he said while drunk. If seokjin helped oc build who she is and what she wants in a relationship, we could say that maybe jk wants something that lacked in his previous relationship, like emotional support or a caring hand. It matches oc's Ice Queen reputation a bit to me

Anonymous said:Omg jks roues are definitely along the lines of “dont fall for anyone”

Anonymous said:so like, i feel as tho hyejin plays a more important role than we’re realizing. why does she seem so obsessed with jk if everyone knows he’s a fuckboy who doesn’t do relationships? why does she think she’s different? why does she think she has a chance? unless they already have a history we don’t know about...?? 🤔

Anonymous said:Personally, I wasn‘t that surprised about Jungkook not feeling the same way as OC. I don‘t blame him, he was honest from the very beginning with her. At the same time, I cannot blame OC either for feeling the way she does. Hookup culture leads you to believe that the person you‘re sleeping with should not care for you. I assume that OC interpreted the signals from JK in the wrong way, and thought he might love her when, in reality, he does care about her, but not in the way she wants. (1) ☀️

Anonymous said:JK has found smn he can talk to, and share smth else beyond sex. At the very end, I think OC might be the one who will push him outside his shell but not necessarily be the one he will fall in love with. (2)☀️

Anonymous said:I feel like oc and Jungkook might be on the same wavelength but because Jungkook clearly hasn’t gotten over his ex and whatever happened he might be pushing oc away. Plus the fact he even wants to stay friends with her is quite sweet in itself. It shows he genuinely cares about her, but probably isn’t ready to have any sort of relationship. You haven’t mentioned him having any female friends either so all of that skinship he does with oc might just be his way of being friendly??

Anonymous said:I feel like Jungkook is not over his ex and maybe he will end up with her, maybe he really does like the OC for the sex and the friendship. That's all.

Anonymous said:What if JK still likes his ex? :O

Anonymous said:Hummm sometimes I feel like in the end they're just going to be experiences for each other. I mean the OC and JK, maybe they will have none relationship at all, not friendship nor fuck buddies nor bf and gf...

dodoesdidwill said:Hyejin's line "You are really good at skating. I'm amazed" what? No way he was practicing after OC took him to skate, right? There must be something we don't know yet...

Anonymous said:Ok, if "New Rules" has taught me anything, it's to NOT judge a book by its covers. I judged Mijoo too harshly & things weren't as they seemed. Not repeating the same mistake with Kook. He was obviously hurt by someone in the past, just like the OC. Sooo... Maybe OC is not the only one with new rules? Maybe Kook was so hurt, one of his rules is to not fall in love again, or to ever put himself in a vulnerable position to be hurt again? Idk but I don't think he's that much of a dickwad

Anonymous said:Okay, so you said that we've been seeing JK through the OC's perspective and that we need to sort through the facts and her assumptions. What the anon who talked about JK having FWBs for the intimacy said really made sense to me and I thought about the fact that, if my memory serves me correctly, we've only seen JK with the OC. We have no way of knowing how he's acted in other FWB relationships. Maybe this is how he's been with all of them??? I dunno.

Anonymous said:i think new rules! jk likes OC too. this thing going on between them isn't just platonic. but the problem is, he really doesn't want to invest in a relationship, as some sort of defense mechanism (kind of like repression maybe?) i can't wait to find out more about his past and see exactly how it's correlating with his actions rn. I'm super hooked in your story lu! you never fail to deliver as always 💜

Anonymous said:I think jk is just as scared of what he feels for oc as oc is scared of what she feels for jk. Like I think oc already went through a ‘I need to protect myself from my feelings for him’ phase and I think jk is going through that now after their time at the hotel. I think he realized that he likes her a lot more than he realized and after coming back he’s trying to shut his feelings so he doesn’t go through whatever happened with his ex again

Anonymous said:JK said he hated hookup culture yet he partakes in it. My theory is that he might've done the same as OC has now done. Maybe had a sort of fwb relationship with his ex and subsequently fell for them, and they broke his heart. But again, idk if that's enough for someone to want to abstain from romantic relationships forever, though it does depend on the person. I'm probably wayyyy off but it's worth a shot :')

#new rules #anon #ladiesalute

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