#this happened to my friend hawkeye pierce
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Mike Farrell Reflects on Captain B.J. Hunnicutt’s Ahead of ‘M*A*S*H’ TV Special
Scott Fishman, TV Insider Dec 21, 2023 Updated Dec 22, 2023 0
Mike Farrell knew he had a lot to live up to when he joined the 4077th Medical Corps and cast of M*A*S*H as Captain B.J. Hunnicutt. The well-versed actor already had an impressive career including a stint on Days of Our Lives. However, this was a completely different kind of pressure coming into season 4 of a highly successful series after the exit of Wayne Rogers, who played Captain “Trapper” John McIntyre.
He was up to the challenge with viewers connecting with the devoted family man and what would be a long-time bond with Alan Alda’s Captain Benjamin Franklin “Hawkeye” Pierce. Viewers will ever forget the shot during the historic series finale where B.J. yells out that he left a note for Hawkeye. As he flies away in the helicopter, he soon notices that his good friend spelled out the word “Goodbye” with rocks on the ground.
It’s these types of iconic moments and characters that are celebrated during FOX’s upcoming M*A*S*H: The Comedy That Changed Television. Executive-produced by John Scheinfeld and Andy Kaplan, this two-special delves into the Emmy-winning run over 11 seasons through the perspective of the cast and visionaries behind the scenes.
Joining Farrell and Alda on the doc is Gary Burghoff (Cpl. Walter “Radar” O’Reilly), and Loretta Swit (Maj. Margaret “Hot Lips” Houlihan) to name a few, as well as series executive producers Gene Reynolds and Burt Metcalfe. Those who have since passed, including show creator Larry Gelbart, Rogers, Larry Linville (Maj. Frank Burns), Harry Morgan (Col. Sherman T. Potter), and McLean Stevenson (Lt. Col. Henry Blake) are spotlighted through archival photos and footage.
Here Farrell opens up about his emotional reaction to the special. The 84-year-old also describes what it’s like to see the beloved sitcom still resonate more than 40 years after it ended.
Michael Farrell
How often do you go back and watch the episodes back?
Mike Farrell: The popularity of the show continues to astonish me and thrill me, frankly. I get constant emails, and mail, calls to keep it fresh in my mind, and its extraordinary impact. I don’t make a point of looking for it on television, but sometimes it’s there. And when it’s there, I can’t stop looking at it and watching those people I love so much and care about. To see and remember who they were and what we did together. It’s something that will stay with me for the rest of my life. I’m so thrilled to be a part of it that it’s hard to put into words.
I remember seeing Alan Alda share a photo of you two toasting to the 50th anniversary of the show’s premiere. How is it for you to still have these close connections after all these years?
For us, it’s a family situation. We enjoyed working together and having this kind of bond that continues to this day. We talk about how much we love each other and stay in touch regularly. It has been something that brings an ongoing extraordinary rush of gratitude and appreciation for all of us here…Then you see David Ogden Stiers, Harry Morgan, Larry Linville, and others on the special. There is that sense of longing for somebody who you knew, loved, and enjoyed working with. It’s piercing at the heart when you see that sometimes. For me, I’m overwhelmed with the warmth that comes back from seeing Harry, remembering the relationship we had not only during the show but afterward. Watching Alan and his incredible wit and hijinks. Some of those things stay with me today. When I tell stories, I can’t help but get misty about those memories. It’s an everlasting love affair for me.
It’s fun to think about what would have happened if social media had been around during M*A*S*H’s original run. For example, B.J.’s mustache would be a hot topic of conversation.
People often ask me, “What do you think of the mustache?” I will say my mother hated the mustache. The mustache was a fun thing. Alan called me at the beginning of one season and said, “They think we are too much alike. What do you think about growing a mustache?” I thought it was a great idea. We made a lot out of it, which was fun to do. I wore what started as a red long shirt. Through many washes, it came out pink. I thought it was hilarious to be wearing a pink shirt in the middle of all that. I get many comments from people in the gay community who tell me they loved my pink shirt and ask if that was a signal. I tell them no, but that I’m glad they noticed it.
One of the topics that gets tackled in the special is B.J.’s character and moment of infidelity with a nurse divorcee. After all this time, I even saw a Reddit thread asking if B.J. cheated on his wife Peg.
I remember when I first met with the guys and they were talking about the possibility of Wayne leaving. I told them the one thing I didn’t want to do as an actor was come in and step in the boots of “Trapper.” They understood. They had in mind a fellow who was married, not a womanizer like “Hawkeye” or “Trapper,” who had a child at home. And he is going to be true to his wife and family. You’re talking about modeling fidelity on television, I didn’t mind that at all. We laughed. It stayed that way. One year we did a show where Blythe Danner played the guest star. She and “Hawkeye had been having a love affair in medical school, and she was temporarily assigned to our station. She was married, but the affair popped up again.
There is a scene where “Hawkeye” asks B.J. if he has ever been unfaithful. I said never. He said, “You ever tempted?” I said, “Tempted is a different question.” He said, “So, you have been tempted?” I said, “No, it was a different question.” It was a good gag. Larry Gelbart, who wrote the scene was ont eh stage when we finished that shot. I said, “Larry, that was wonderful, but let me suggest the idea. The fact B.J. is a faithful husband is great by me, but to suggest a man was not tempted goes too far. I don’t think we need to paint in that pristine manner.” He said that was a good thought. A year later Gene remembers that conversation with Larry. He asked, “What do you feel about B.J. falling off the fidelity wagon?” I said, “It depends on how you resolve it.”
How do you feel it came out?
I loved the whole process that they cared enough to hear me out, and decided it was worth dealing with that question. I thought they resolved it in a classy way. B.J. was upset about what he had done. It was brief and a misstep. He was miserable about it. “Hawkeye” gave him hell because he was going to write home and tell Peg. He said, “Don’t do that to her. If you must confess for whatever the transgression, wait until you get home where you can be with her and talk to her. I thought it was great that they were willing to explore the kind of experience people are put through in these circumstances.
It was almost like it didn’t matter how far they went, but didn’t matter. He would feel the same way.
Exactly. But the idea of them spending the night together in a bed, under those circumstances, and didn’t go far sounds a little stretch to me.
When was the moment you felt how big a show M*A*S*H was?
I was in Southeast Asia during one of our breaks. After my second or third year there on the show when I went around, I was astonished at the no matter what part of the world, the show meant something to the.m. This one man said, “Your show constantly underscores for me the meaning of peace and the need for peace in this world.” I came back to set and Alan and I were sitting together during the first day of the season back. I said, “Are you hearing what I’m hearing out there?” He said, “Yeah, we need to be aware of the way the show is affecting people.
We decided on a regular meeting as a cast and talked through the issues of the day. Alan and I both made it a point that this show is having an impact that is beyond just being a popular television show. We need to be seriously committed to making sure we do the best work we can do. Everyone got it and agreed and rededicated ourselves to commit to doing meaningful work because of the audience’s respect and appreciation for the show.
What are your overall thoughts on the FOX special while screening it?
I watched it with tears streaming down my face while laughter burst from my mouth. It was an extraordinary tribute. Not only to the show and people involved but the people involved behind the scenes. I’m glad they included the clip of Gene, Larry, and in particular Burt Metcalfe, the casting genius who brought many of the characters to the show; me included. He was a powerful force in maintaining the integrity of the show. It was deeply touching and I think the audience will love it. It shows the significance and the work of the characters and the way the show was built and what it became. I was thrilled when I saw it.
How do you think the show would do in today’s TV landscape?
I think it would remain a touchstone for people I can’t tell you how many veterans have contacted me. Even children of veterans. They would say. “My dad would never talk about his experience in the war until he saw your show. Then he would say, ‘That’s the way it was.”…That it has stayed relevant and meaningful to people for generations speaks volumes about the show.
M*A*S*H: The Comedy That Changed Television premiere, January 1, 8/7c, FOX
@stroyent 🤝
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[CH.9] New Doctor on the Block
Chapter 9: Second Chance
Pairings: Hawkeye Pierce x fem!Reader
Characters: Hawkeye Pierce, B.J. Hunnicutt, Father Mulcahy
Summary: B.J. encourages Reader to talk to Hawkeye about how she really feels
Warnings: mentions of death, insecurity
Note: And that's it! The last chapter of the first installment! I hope you guys enjoyed this and stay tuned for book 2!
Series Masterlist - NDotB Masterlist - Two's Company Masterlist
“What happened to you?” B.J. asked, walking into the mess tent the next day for breakfast. “You look terrible.”
“I didn’t sleep last night,” you stared solemnly at your uneaten breakfast and coffee.
“That’s funny,” he said sitting down. “Neither did Hawkeye.”
“B.J. I’m not in the mood right now for any teasing,” you rubbed your temples and closed your eyes.
“Not teasing,” he said. “I’m serious, what’s going on with you two?”
“Maybe ask me later,” you mumbled, “Here take my food I’m not hungry,” you slid the plate over to him and got up to leave the tent when the door opened and Hawkeye stood in front of you.
You both stared at each other for a moment before you gathered your senses and stepped aside so he could pass. He did without much of a glance in your direction and you quickly scuttled out of the tent.
When Hawkeye came to sit at the table with B.J. and Father Mulcahy, who had since joined him, B.J. didn’t waste a second in interrogating his friend.
“What was that?” he asked.
“What was what?” Hawkeye picked at his powdered eggs and looked up tiredly at his friend and the priest who shared their table.
“I believe B.J. is referring to your interaction with Captain Tomasson,” Father Mulcahy interjected.
Good thing I’m not the only one concerned about this . B.J. thought to himself.
“It’s nothing,” Hawkeye said, placing a forkful of eggs in his mouth. “Just a very simple case of my actions coming back to haunt me. Now if you’ll excuse me,” he ate a couple more spoonfuls of breakfast before standing up. “I’m due in post-op.”
B.J. shook his head and sighed when Hawkeye left the table and turned to Father Mulcahy.
“Any ideas on what to do, Father?”
“None at the moment,” he shook his head. “Perhaps they both need some time and prayers. I know Hawkeye will come to talk to you about it.”
B.J. asked about you.
“That one you might have to corner, but give her some breathing room,” he suggested. “She should share when she’s ready.”
“What if she’s never ready?”
“That’s the million dollar question,” the Father sighed and B.J. ran a hand across his face, he had a feeling the next few days were about to suck more than they usually did.
—
As per B.J.’s assumption, the next few days were nothing short of hell. It was as if to you, Hawkeye had fallen off the face of the planet and Hawkeye was doing a pretty good job himself pretending you weren’t there when he wasn’t distracting himself with games, practical jokes, and booze.
The whole team could feel the shift, It had almost gotten to the point of affecting their work.
“Hey, what are you doing? You need to clamp that first,” B.J. remarked while he assisted you with a surgery.
“Oh, right, sorry,” you shook your head. “My head’s just not here.”
“Your head hasn’t been here for a while now,” he commented. “After our shift, we’ll take a walk. Just you and me and that’s not a suggestion.”
“Sure I can’t take a rain check?”
“You’ve been rain-checking me for over a week.”
“Alright,” you sighed. “Clamp, please.”
“Yes, doctor,” the nurse passed you the instructed tool and you managed to finish that patient with only a few minor hiccups.
There were still a few more wounded that needed to be tended to so you prepared to be an anesthesiologist for a bit while B.J. took the reins. You took one of the last patients and then washed up side by side with B.J. dreading your walk.
“You look like you’d rather be slicing open another soldier than out here with me right now,” he chuckled. “Am I really that bad?”
“No,” you shook your head, “but your questions are.”
“And what do you think I’m going to ask you?” he shoved his hands in his pockets as you trudged along the compound.
“About Ben,” you chewed your lip.
“Bingo,” he nodded and looked down at you. “What happened that night? I’ve tried asking but Hawkeye won’t talk to me either. You guys are my friends and this place is already lousy enough without you two not talking to each other.”
You stayed silent.
“So? Come on, spit it out.”
“He kissed me and I freaked out, okay?”
B.J. nodded his head. “Ah, I see.”
“What? That’s it? Just ‘ I see ’?” you asked.
“Well, why did you freak out?”
“I-I…It’s hard to explain,” you looked down at your feet.
“Try me,” he shrugged.
You thought about it for a minute, trying to see what words you could use for it to make sense.
“A terrible thought, but let’s say Peg passed away,” you started. “You have to take care of Erin, she’s your top priority and providing for her is the most important thing.”
B.J. nodded, following your train of thought.
“You’re heartbroken that Peg is gone, obviously, but over time your heart aches a little less, then a little less, then a little less, until finally, you think you start to feel something other than ache. But you can see right in front of you is that same situation that took Peg away from you in the first place. Would you risk it? Just because your heart felt something other than pain for a little while? Just because maybe, just maybe you thought she’d make you happy again?”
B.J. was thoughtful a moment before responding.
“I think I would risk it. And I’m not just saying that,” he assured you.
“Why?” you asked.
“Well, why don’t I put it this way,” he said, taking a turn in your seat. “If you could go back and change life so you wouldn’t have met your husband and wouldn’t have to go through losing him, would you do it?”
“No,” you didn’t hesitate to answer. “I wouldn’t trade the time I had with him for anything in the world.”
“So what you’re saying is if you love someone, or even think you could love someone, maybe the hurt is worth it because you’d still have whatever little time you were able to have together?”
You let out a shaky breath and chewed on your lip before admitting, “B.J. it scared the crap out of me. How the hell am I supposed to make up for that? He probably hates me now.”
“Why don’t you talk to him first and find out,” B.J. suggested. “Hawkeye Pierce is a stubborn man, set in his ways, but I don’t think I’ve seen someone more successful in getting him to change his mind. Unintentionally at that.”
You nodded your head slowly.
“Why don’t you go over to the swamp now? He should be there alone, Frank has post-op and I’ll stay out of your way for a while.”
“You sure Beej?” you asked. “We just pulled a long shift, you're probably exhausted.”
“I’m not as exhausted as I am hoping all this gets resolved. I’ll sit in the mess tent for a while and drink some coffee. Don’t worry about me too much.”
You nodded your head again and turned to go towards the swamp before turning around and tapping B.J. on the shoulder, causing him to look back and allow you to give him a hug.
“Thank you, B.J. You’re a good friend and I’m sorry I’ve been a bad one.”
“Don’t mention it, and you haven’t been a bad friend, just subpar,” he teased and you let out an airy chuckle.
He wished you luck before you turned off to go quickly get changed and head over to the swamp. It was late so you wore a pyjama shirt and pants and pulled a housecoat over yourself to keep warm from the slight breeze outside.
When you came to the door of the swamp you knocked three times on the door.
“Just a minute,” you heard Hawkeye inside. “Alright, come in.”
You opened the door and saw his back was turned to you, taking some laundry off a clothesline.
“Ben, can we talk?” you asked, stepping inside.
“Talk,” he nodded slowly. “We haven’t done that in a while.”
“No we haven’t,” you agreed. “C-Can I sit?” you asked, pointing to the stool.
“Please,” he nodded and sat across from you in his cot. “So what was so urgent you had to come and disturb my laundering?”
“I wanted to apologize,” you said simply. “For how cold I’ve been this past week, for…for the way I reacted that night.”
“Wasn’t exactly the standing ovation I was hoping for.”
You chuckled a little, nervously, and scratched the back of your neck.
“You were right, m-my worries and concerns didn’t have to do with my lack of faith in you. I think I was too caught up in my past to see what my future could look like.”
He raised a brow and you continued.
“And I think I like the look of it with you in it. I-If that’s still something you’d want,” you added quickly.
“What about all this fear of uncertainty? Unless I missed something we still can’t control everything that happens in this war otherwise I’d be in Maine and you’d be in New Hampshire.”
“A good friend made me realize that the time we have with someone, however short it might be, is still worth the hurt we might feel if it ends.”
“B.J.?” Hawkeye asked and you both laughed and nodded. “Yeah, that sounds like something B.J. would say.”
“Maybe we can start things out normally?” you suggested. “Set the scene, anywhere in the world.”
He thought about it for a moment before settling on, “Dover, New Hampshire. A bar off the corner of a street, near the hospital.”
You smiled and stood up to go and sit next to him.
“Hi, I saw you from across the bar.” You offered him your hand. “I’m a single mother of two, I work as a trauma surgeon in the ER at the hospital down the road. My husband died in the Korean War and I’ve been wondering if I’d ever get a second chance at what I had with him. I think you’re my second chance.”
Hawkeye smiled and took your hand. “Hi, I’m Ben Pierce,” he said, “and I’d love to be your second chance.”
“You sure? I’ve got a lot of baggage?” you joked.
“Don’t worry, I’ve got plenty of trunk space,” he assured you and you both laughed. “I’ll take you to the movies tomorrow and prove it.”
“You’ve got yourself a deal,” you agreed and shook on it.
You both stood up and Hawkeye walked you to the door, but before you left he asked you a question.
“Can I give you a kiss goodnight?”
“Why do you ask?”
“Oh no reason, just once a girl gave me a cup of tea and in return, I gave her a kiss and she freaked out on me. Just wanted to make sure,” he teased.
“I’m never gonna live that one down am I?”
“I dunno, let’s see how well you do with this one, then we can talk,” he took your face in his hands and you looked up at him with the first sparkle of hope in your eyes that you’d had since your husband died.
He leaned down and closed the space between you, your arms pressed against his chest.
When you pulled apart he looked at you with a cheeky smile on his lips,
“Now I’m really not going to be able to say no to lunch with your family when we get back.”
“Ben, you always know what to say, don’t you?”
“It’s a gift,” he shrugged.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” you stepped up on your toes and pecked his lips. “Your tip.”
He gave you a small peck back, “Your change. Goodnight.”
“Yeah, goodnight,” you smiled and stepped back, giving him a small wave before leaving the swamp and going to let B.J. know his tent was now danger free, but you were sure the lovesick smile on your face did more than your words ever could.
Tags: @montyfandomlove @robin-the-enby
#hawkeye pierce#hawkeye pierce x reader#hawkeye pierce fanfiction#mash#mashblr#mash fanfiction#hawkeye pierce x you
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tagged by my friend maddie @leonardcohenofficial to answer these 20 Qs for fic writers!! yay thank you :-) i'll tag @fieryphrazes @stupidredsuspenders @ghostpunkrock if you'd like!
How many works do you have on Ao3? 26, they tell me
What's your total Ao3 word count? 400,467. oh my
What fandoms do you write for? mash of course but i also have a couple of star wars things including the time travel fic that i promise will get done eventually
What are your top five fics by kudos? or, the children's crusade, maple syrup, breathe fresh air ever after, hawkeye, why hawkeye, i now pronounce you pierce and hunnicutt
Do you respond to comments? i really try to even if it takes 100 years
What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? hmmm. i really rarely don't write a happy ending but maybe breathe fresh air ever after aka the one where daniel pierce watches "the interview." the truman show AU and the one where it's all a dream also are both kind of bleak
What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? all the long ones with a bj goes to maine element i think are kind of equally happy so maple syrup, hyh, but also you deserve the best, the hawkmarg friendship inspired fic that was the first mash fic idea i ever had
Do you get hate on fics? not to my face tho i sometimes wonder if mutuals in law have me blocked bc of any perceived bad takes in my writing
Do you write smut? If so, what kind? not habitually, but ive written some in my opinion narratively relevant sex scenes lol
Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? closest i've come is incorporating elements of the catch-22 universe into mash stuff, and i have a broader outline for a real mash-22 crossover that i'd like to actually write one day
Have you ever had a fic stolen? ok funny yeah i was just telling della about this but like. not word for word like copy pasted but i was reading a hawkeye margaret friendship fic a while ago and was really enjoying it and then realized it was beat for beat copying my hawkmarg bestfriends fic 😭 right down to including references to the communist manifesto
Have you ever had a fic translated? i don't believe so but that would be cool!
Have you ever co-written a fic before? not really, i've thrown ideas around with people especially like with noirhawk stuff but it never really coalesced
What’s your all time favorite ship? i don't knowwwww. when i was a teenager the doctor/rose was literally so important to me and honestly i was surprised at how much i cried at doomsday upon rewatch. i possibly care more about the hawkeye/margaret friendship dynamic than i do about beejhawk
What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? ooh my idea for a mash tv show/movie crossover which i have some good dialogue written for and would love to be able to bring to fruition but i just dont think it's gonna happen
What are your writing strengths? i think dialogue for sure, and when it comes to fic in particular (like as opposed to my original writing) i think i'm good at character studies/keeping things very realistic and in character
What are your writing weaknesses? bc when i write as a hobby i write mostly plays, i sometimes catch myself writing prose like that, like just dialogue and what amounts to stage directions. i have to make myself think about when some internal monologue might be good, how to make things actually sound good instead of just being practical
Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? you guys know i love to throw lots of yiddish in there. i wouldn't be able to write real dialogue in another language unless the character had an eighth grade level spanish education or was trying to say "the farmer is my friend" in latin
First fandom you wrote for? star wars 👍
Favorite fic you’ve written? ough hard to choose. i have to shout out mind field bc i somehow haven't mentioned it yet and the experience of writing it was so surreal and was just genuinely me trying to convey how it had felt to be in my brain for a year or so through projecting onto hawkeye. and the fact that everyone liked it was bonus. BUT my actually favorite might be with friends like these, who needs enemies?, my hawkeye/margaret slow burn friendship fic and margaret deep dive. i want to make everyone read it and care about them as much as i do mwah
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M*A*S*H - Viewguide, S4
Are you interested in the long-running anti-war situation tragicomedy M*A*S*H (1972-1983), but there are simply so many asterisks and so many episodes?
Well I can’t help you with the asterisks, but nor can I help myself: I started watching all 11 seasons of M*A*S*H, and bringing back for you my viewing selections, chosen for The Qualities.
— — —
In which we lose two of the three top billed cast members and gain two new ones, a couple of the regular writers and directors also seem to cycle out, and in the ensuing slightly confused flooding of our previously steady stream, Frank is sinking like one of those water-logged stumps, someone seems intent on trying to keep Margaret from also getting dragged down by him through the approach “she’s just not around again, idk,” Radar is somehow swimming up-stream and now seems several years younger than he was when we started, and Alan Alda is piping up more and more to point out the banks and steer us into deeper waters, and if he’s also maybe altering our course just a little, let him.
Meanwhile, TIMESCALE: we learn in the opening scene that the first three seasons have timelooped for "just over a year” :) elated with this data :))
And so we enter M*A*S*H, Part Two:
M*A*S*H - Season 4
Recommended sequence
4x01-02 ‘Welcome to Korea, Parts 1 and 2' - Acting CO Frank Burns really thought he was going to get to mold their new doctor Hunnicutt into a Mini Frank, but did not account for Hawkeye Pierce, on a desperate scramble to the airfield, to pick him up while still reeling and reckless from having just lost his best friend, and in this, one of the most riveting figures BJ has ever encountered. TOO LATE, he got his hands and damage all over him already! Anyway I helplessly detailed exactly what goes down in these if you are BJ Hunnicutt (BJ…Hunnicutt) in my increasingly disclosing notes, so stay tuned for that.
4x04 ‘It Happened One Night’ - Not to be a weirdo and skip to Colonel Potter already being here, but this one is really good. This is one of my quiet favorites of the season. And I think this works so much better as the one to follow the two-part premiere actually. Hawkeye and BJ aren’t quite in sync yet—this is accurate. Hawkeye and Margaret continue to get more in sync—this too is accurate. Lots of Klinger (LOTS of Klinger) (hirsute…), Radar being so irritated with the chaotic bumbling of the new private is so funny, and you’re still getting a good impression of our small, forthright new CO: regular Army, but you know what? Maybe…our regular Army. And that could rule actually. Oh: AND EVERYONE’S SO COOOLD. My fav-orite!
4x05 ‘The Late Captain Pierce’
BJ: “For he was a jolly good fellow…”
Hawkeye: “I was much too young to die.”
A clerical error renders Hawkeye legally dead. M*A*S*H x Catch22 for real, murder me. And, five episodes into the new season of an episodic sitcom and they were still letting Hawkeye be torn up over those he’s lost, and have this wholly new emotional register with his new friend BJ, way longer for both than I’d thought they would let him have. But y’know, Alda got to direct this one.
4x09 ‘The Kids’ - Great TV show setup: learn things about the characters by how they read bedtime stories to dislocated orphans. If you guessed, “oh yeah, and that’s gonna create the moment where Hawkeye finally lets himself start to fall in love with BJ,” you are a better guesser than I!! But man what a good choice. Alda. (Back in the chair.)
4x10 ‘Quo Vadis, Captain Chandler?’ - I just adoooore Dr. Sidney Freedman. Any scene with Sidney in it: a balm. Here he returns for the episode in which the 4077th gets a wounded soldier who says he’s Jesus Christ. Meanwhile, Radar is now twelve.
4x16 ‘The Price of Tomato Juice’ - I was trying to describe the format of these kinds of chain of wants & favors episodes to Jody and she was like, oh, you mean it’s like the Deep Space Nine where Nog explains The Great River of Commerce. Yes exactly.
4x19 ‘Hawkeye’ - They gave the rest of the regular cast the week off and just had Hawkeye monologue with a concussion for 25 minutes, ambling around a Korean family’s farmhouse with surprisingly disconcerting candy apple red syrup creeping from his temple, live-narrating his own self-diagnosis, doing snippets of musical numbers, and just generally rambling as he tries to keep from fainting before his rescue arrives. A lot of oscillating between being about to keel over and quashing down his fear to put on a blithe front for an audience who can't even understand him, and a beautiful cow. In short, crafted for me special! I actually made this meme to explain to a friend why I was so undone by The Fabelmans (dork alert), but the thing is, it always worked because it was also about what it's about:
4x21 ‘The Novocaine Mutiny’ - Frank brings Hawkeye to trial for mutiny. He could, wildly, literally hang for this, but most of all: you bet there’s a Rashomon (scream).
4x25 ‘Deluge’ - I don’t know what to call these exactly, but they tend to do a couple of them a season. Usually, not always, they’re letter writing shows, with the letter narration forming the framework instead of an overarching plot, letting them do just a sequence of scenes somewhat related. Bullet point stories. This one however the scenes are intercut not with something else from the world of M*A*S*H, but actual historic footage from the period, in easily the most artistically experimental episode they’ve done yet. It’s all jarring juxtapositions of a very long surgical run with what was on TV back at home in 1952, with a jarring editing rhythm to match, which wasn’t fully working for me and then soooo working for me. Bit of an ‘O.R.’ echo, but so much odder and dreamier, in like a David Lynch way, and I think the sensation is well worth the list.
4x26 ‘The Interview’ - Anndd then you do this one next, which follows on the previous one almost like a brief bit of serialized storytelling. It’s all black & white and everyone is just being interviewed by a TV journalist about how they are (not) getting through it. At one point I paused to write this and let out a shaky yelp at discovering I was only 9 minutes in. At another point I had to pause to create my own break where there would normally be one just to let out mooore shaky sounds at an image Father Mulcahy had just described that will be lodged in my mind for the rest of my actual, actual life. Happy Season 4 Finale!!
Season 1 • Season 2 • Season 3 • Season 4 • To be continued
#M*A*S*H hours
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writing patterns (tag game)
rules: list the first line of your last 10 (posted) fics and see if there's a pattern!
i was tagged by @irregularcollapse - thank you, friend! This is spread out over several years (oof) but...
in order from most to least recent:
"Three things happened after Dr. Pierce, who BJ still couldn’t quite call Daniel, took Peg and Erin back to the hotel: he and Hawkeye each had another helping of egg nog, it started to snow, and he chewed a hole into his bottom lip." -- I Wish I Knew How to Break This Spell
"Charlotte stretched languidly between mussed sheets when Hawkeye returned from the john, still tucking himself back into his lounge pants." -- Summertime Will Be a Love-In There
"Thankfully, a distant part of Hawkeye’s brain supplied, he knew the way home by heart." -- What Good is a Lover Who's Scared
"'And to make matters even worse, the school is thinking about offering a different standardized test for the seniors. American College Testing, it’s called, and I think it’s stupid. I mean we already have the SAT, I don’t know why we need to give more tests.'” -- You Could Have All of the Time
"BJ’s blood ran ice cold at the sound and vision of Hawkeye screaming at his anesthetist. His shrieks brought the entire operating room to a silent almost-halt that was only broken when he grabbed the poor guy by the collar and threatened him." -- Come Closer and I'll Tell You Exactly How It Is
"There was unmistakably a mouth around his dick." -- I Don't Wanna Hear Your Goodbye
"Living with Hawkeye Pierce was anything but boring." -- We're Happy in My Blue Heaven
"The commotion in the next ward over didn’t even worry him. Hippocratic oath be damned; the doctors and nurses handling it were capable and quite frankly he had bigger fish frying. He sat with his head balancing precariously on his fists - his back already ached, what was more damage? - and tried to make sense of the tile pattern around the nurses station." -- Let Your Poor Heart Break a Little
"The book slipped from his fingers, waking him up as much as the phone ringing in the kitchen. BJ stood up and popped his back before walking over to answer it. Hawkeye picked the book up from his lap and appreciated BJ’s form through the doorway. His broad shoulders amplified by a white dress shirt, even on their day off, and his long legs ending in worn red slippers." -- You Can't Beat Home Sweet Home
"Beej, Hope all is well in your little corner of the world. Give my love to the family and spend an extra minute savoring the San Francisco skyline for me." -- Maybe You'll be Lonesome Too
If there's one thing I love, apparently it's dropping the reader into the middle of something. I'm not noticing anything about how we get there (a little dialogue, a little letter writing, a little action, a little dreaming), but typically it seems like I pick up with things already in motion. This was fun!!
I'm tagging: @fieryphrazes @remyfire @onekisstotakewithme and whoever else would like in!
#thank you!! i enjoyed this#at first i thought it was last line and i got sooo self conscious but this was great!
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bit of a confession: i'm not too fond of "trapper thinks hawkeye is dead" because there's an implied "... and that's why he didn't write" which assumes that this is canon, and it isn't. We don't know if he wrote. It's left intentionally ambiguous.
I think it is valid to headcanon him as having not written because he thought Hawkeye was dead though, and I see why tbh because it's easy enough to interpret Trapper's whole unquestioning support of Hawkeye as his being a very devoted and loving friend. Why would Trapper do all of that just to not write to Hawkeye? It kind of only makes sense with such a drastic explanation and well, The Late Captain Pierce happens so soon after Trapper leaves. I get it.
"Isn't that splitting hairs?" Well, I think it was a deliberate writing choice to not tie up that loose end with Trapper. No closure for the audience, no closure for Hawkeye.
GFA delivers closure to everyone. Actually, this is why I think GFA is one of the best executed finales of all time. It's very well acted and directed and written yes, but it's not without its flaws, some of which I think are glaring. And just the format of it alone means it's hard to analyze as an "episode of MASH". There are things about MASH that imo, do not translate well from a 20 minute format to a feature-length film.
But before this turns into the Trial of GFA, let me say the reason I say GFA is a great finale is because it is a proper farewell to the audience from the characters, all their loose threads tied up. This is something we were denied when Wayne left the show. Confirming whether or not Trapper wrote undercuts the non-goodbye, just like confirmation that the 4077th including BJ and Hawkeye ever see each other again undercuts their goodbye in GFA.
Trapper is invoked by the narrative three times and each time it pointedly does not create emotional stakes for Hawkeye. The first time is in PoA, where the person who has the biggest emotional response to the Trapper character is BJ (huge L, grow up BJ). It's BJ who has the worse reaction to the destruction of the still, in what I personally think is the only redeeming moment for him in that episode, when he shows remorse for having damaged something he knew was precious to Hawkeye in part because Hawkeye built it with Trapper. I don't think his response to Trapper being home is a Trapper-exclusive thing, because BJ also says he's jealous of Radar being home.
In Depressing News, Hawkeye isn't torn up about Trapper when he mentions him being replaced by BJ, he's torn up about how the military dehumanizes people and views them as disposable. Even if we are to believe Hawkeye is shown to be still mourning Trapper's exit, it ought to be nothing compared to the grief he must feel over Henry's death. And that is without even considering that Hawkeye is demonstrably happy for Trapper in Check-Up. So it is a big stretch for me to believe that this scene is about Hawkeye ruminating on Trapper.
Finally the Joker is Wild. Hawkeye has some fond words for Trapper but the point of this episode apparently is that Hawkeye has been tried by a jury of his peers, found guilty of being The Worst, Actually and should suffer for his crimes. The other point of the episode is that Trapper and the early years are also the worst, which is ironic considering how Joker is at best, MASH as a pale imitation of itself.
I lied, there is a fourth mention of Trapper, in GFA but before I get to that, I want to mention the weird snub in As Time Goes By. It is technically a snub because they mention Henry and not Trapper but let the record reflect that this episode is also MASH as a pale imitation of itself and on rewatch I think Trapper would have hated the sentimentalization of his time in Korea. Idk what BJ and Hawkeye especially are doing in this one. The point of this episode is to invoke fond and soft memories of cast members past, so my theory is that they couldnt mention Trapper for this reason. Maybe they still hate Wayne or something but from what I understand it as Mclean they were properly annoyed with.
Okay fourth, in GFA, when Hawkeye for the first time since Welcome to Korea expresses some hurt over Trapper's exit. Or does he?:
"BJ is not really what's bothering him" threw me when I first saw the script for GFA because i absolutely thought he was bothered by BJ leaving initially without saying goodbye. But whatever, point here is that if he's not upset about BJ, then there's no way he's upset about Trapper. Even before seeing this i found that line somewhat... well, if Hawkeye hadn't been through what he had been through and wasn't feeling so vulnerable and didn't have Margaret's shoulder to cry on prompting him to be more forthcoming than he might be otherwise... then I might call Hawkeye's lament melodramatic.
So all these examples show that I don't think the show was at all interested in giving us Hawkeye dealing with his feelings about Trapper post the first of Welcome to Korea. And you can imagine that had they confirmed he had written, or hadn't this would have engaged Hawkeye in that way.
I'm further convinced by the scene that didn't make into the show where Sidney asks Hawkeye if he'd heard from answer and Hawkeye has this infuritatingly vague response "He sent me a nail file in a cupcake". In theory Alan Alda's delivery might've swayed us one way or another but I can also imagine him saying it like a joke, of which he has no shortage of, that still wouldn't make it clearer.
The fact that they cut it altogether seems very deliberate. They did not want to talk about Trapper in a way that gave us any hints as to what their relationship (or lack thereof) might have been like after Wayne left the show.
And that's pretty clever, because it gives further further significance to Hawkeye's insistence that he and BJ have their goodbye. Hawkeye doubts they'll remain as close as they were in Korea once he and BJ go home, BJ clings to the idea that they will. Ultimately we do not know if they will. When asked if they might see each other again, Alan Alda maintained the ambiguity, (paraphrase) "they might, if we wrote it" which I personally see as "no" because they did not write it. But there is also "they might". It's ambiguous. Sucks doesn't it? But that is what fanfiction is for.
#more on why i personally dont love the headcanon 'trapper thinks hawkeye is dead'#but that's more about preference and not my analysis of the text#re: mash
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All We Know - out-take
Sometimes I start a story wrong. Or sometimes a chapter starts going in completely the wrong direction. And after a while I realise this, and the only thing to do is to excise the text and start again,
This is what happened with the August section of "All We Know".
Margaret Houlihan is married. I had a very solid picture of her husband Sam, so I began August from his POV. And then I realised after a while that I had let myself get decoyed away from the Story, which was going on in the pizza restaurant while Sam and Hawkeye were walking through Boston.
So, regretfully, I deleted the lot, and went back to the pizza restaurant, and what happened there you can read in Chapter 5 of "All We Know", just posted.
But in my head, what happened when Hawkeye left with Sam had still happened - it just wasn't part of the story.
So, because we're all friends here, meet Sam Colquhoun, married to Margaret, as he first walked into my head and out in words.
Sam: Friday 17th August
Sam expected Margaret to be calling: it was the right time for her to be on a break. He picked up the phone and said in his most business-like tones "Colquhoun and Houlihan, answering service, how can I help you?"
"Ah, hello," a man's voice said. "I want to - can I leave a message for Margaret Houlihan?"
"Sure," Sam said, amused. He could not place the voice at all: New England, but not Boston. "This is Sam Colquhuon, Margaret's still at work."
"Ah," the voice said. "Hello. Hawkeye Pierce. We met at the Colonel's funeral."
Sam remembered: it was the only time he'd met Pierce to speak to, and his memory then was of a solitary greying silent man, who'd said little and not stayed for the wake. "Yeah."
"Is Margaret working tomorrow? If she's not, we'd like to meet up for lunch, her choice, my treat? Need to ask her something. Anyplace is fine, so long as it's got a good light."
"I'll ask her," Sam said, pleasantly. "You in town for a conference?"
"No," Hawkeye Pierce said. He sounded vague. "It's just something we - I need to talk to her about. If she's OK with it, Serafino's on Newbury Street would be perfect, it's walking distance from the Boston Medical Center and the pizza's great and they've got a table right in front of the window. We were there with Charles last year, he got tomato sauce all down his shirt."
"So, her choice is strictly optional?" Sam kept his voice pleasant.
"What?" Hawkeye Pierce sounded confused. "No, no, if she hates the idea, somewhere else. So long as it has a good light, I'm fine with it. Staying at the Copley, let her know - if she wants us to eat lunch somewhere else, ask her to leave a message at the front desk, OK? Two o'clock is OK if it's OK with her?"
"Okay," Sam said, still pleasantly. "I'll pass all that on. How are you doing?"
"Fine," Hawkeye Pierce said. "Just fine. How are you?"
"I'm good," Sam said, and put the phone down. He had mixed feelings about Hawkeye Pierce.
He waited til Margaret was home, shoes off, feet up, and he'd mixed her a gin and bitters, before he mentioned the call.
"What on earth can he want? What is he doing in Boston?"
"You sure you want to go see him on your own? Don't you usually meet him with that Winchester who works at Boston Mercy?"
Margaret gave him an odd look. It clearly hadn't occurred to her that she might not go. "Did he say he'd invited Charles?"
Sam shrugged. "I got the impression it was just you."
"If you want to come," Margaret said. "Sure. I mean, he can't have anything to say to me that's too confidential for you to hear."
Pierce, in Margaret's account of her time in Korea, was a promiscuous practical joker who had harassed every nurse inclding Margaret and done things that ought, in Sam's view, to have got him a dishonourable discharge except the US Army in Korea had so desperately needed surgeons. Margaret had warned Sam once not to touch her from behind without warning. and Sam' had seen Margaret go white and tense when a man touched her like that Pierce was a superb, arrogant, cruel surgeon. Sam had initially assumed Hawkeye of Margaret's other stories was a different man - and certainly the silent, sad-eyed man he'd briefly met at his father-in-law's funeral bore no resemblance to the groper and creep of Margaret's worst stories, the ones that only surfaced when she was very tired and very drunk.
The pizza restaurant Pierce had chosen and Margaret had accepted was walking distance from the Boston Medical Center if you didn't mind a trek of over a mile through city streets: they got a cab. Pierce was sitting at the table by the window, facing the window: another man was sitting with his back to the window. Pierce didn't notice them, even though Margaret lifted her hand and waved: he and the other man seemed to be locked in conversation.
"Anyone you know?" Sam asked. Margaret was staring over at the table.
"I don't believe it," Margaret said, suddenly loud. "Father Mulcahy!"
Pierce had heard them: he stood up. The man across from him used the table, Sam saw, to push himself to his feet. Margaret, fleet-footed, had left him standing by the door. She hadn't even a word for Pierce, Sam noticed, pleased - "Father Mulcahy! Oh my God, you are alive! When did you get back to the US? How long did you stay in Korea? How are you? My God, it is so good to see you - !"
The man was smiling. He evidently recognised Margaret's enthusiasm. But he didn't say anything.
Pierce did something odd: he turned to face the window, his shoulder to Margaret - his back to the room, and said "Looks like you and I have something in common after all: Margaret thought you were dead."
The man's face changed. He looked startled - aghast, and said to Margaret "I'm sorry, Major - I mean, Mrs Colquhoun - I'm fine. Really."
"But where have you been? I'm still Margaret Houlihan," she added. "I'm so glad Hawkeye brought you! We've got so much to catch up. I wrote to you - did you get my letters?"
The man - Father Mulcahy? Margaret's unit chaplain? He wasn't dressed in any way Sam could identify as a priest - the man didn't answer. He looked at Margaret, and he smiled. "It's good to see you," he said. "Hawkeye. Take a walk."
Pierce shifted feet. His right hand moved.
The man nodded, and sat down. Pierce turned away. He saw Sam. and grinned. "Want to go for a walk?"
"Weren't we going to have lunch?"
"They bake the pies here from scratch," Pierce said. He stopped by the counter. "Don't bother the two at that table with menus," he said. "We'll be back." He ordered two pizza pies without hesitation, and glanced at Sam. "What do you want?"
Sam stared. This was high-handed. Then he glanced over and saw Margaret staring at the man - Father Mulcahy - and decided that Pierce was right: Margaret needed time. He shrugged, agreeing with the order.
"That should give them half an hour," Pierce said. He caught at Sam's arm. He didn't quite pull him out of the restaurant, but it was a close thing. "Let's take a walk."
Outside, Pierce set off briskly, but slowed as he reached Fairfield. Sam caught up with him. "So that's Margaret's chaplain?"
"For three years, sure." Pierce sounded distracted. He was staring down Fairfield at the Commonwealth Mall.
"How long has he been deaf?"
Pierce swung round and looked at Sam, his heavy eyebrows going up. He glanced back in the direction of the restaurant, and shrugged. "A few years Hopefully, he's told Margaret - How did you pick it up?"
"There's a couple of deaf guys in my office," Sam said. "I've seen them signalling to each other like that. Margaret mentioned you know signs, and I saw you moving your hand - you expected him to know what you were signalling."
"Yeah," Pierce said. "You're pretty observant."
"So this is why you wanted to set up this meeting?" Sam was feeling better about Pierce than at any time before. "Margaret was happy to see him."
"Yeah, I guessed she would be." Pierce set off again. He walked fast. The trees of the Commonwealth Mall were beginning to lose their leaves, but still green. Sam caught up with Pierce again standing under a tree, looking up and down the Mall.
"I hardly ever get to Boston anymore except when I'm going to be stuck in a hotel all day," Pierce said, unselfconsciously. "I'd forgotten how pretty this could be."
"I thought you were a New Yorker." New Yorkers notoriously did not admire Boston, any more than Boston admired New York.
"Maine," Pierce said. "My mom was from New York."
"Thanks for setting this up," Sam said, sincerely.
Pierce stuck his hands in his pockets and shrugged. "Good to see you," he said, and he sounded quite insincere. "Look, one thing - I know he's going to tell Margaret this - he's not Father Mulcahy any more, he's not a priest. He doesn't like to talk about it, in fact he's not supposed to talk about it, but when we get back, it'll be Francis and Margaret, and you call him Francis Mulcahy, if you call him anything." He glanced at his watch, and set off again, down the Commonwealth Mall.
Sam followed. Pierce moved fast when he wanted to. But he stopped again, with another glance at his watch. "I guess we can turn back," he said, and looked again at Sam. "Look- I know you're not the kind of guy who won't let his wife go anywhere without him."
Sam smiled. He couldn't imagine treating Margaret like that. He couldn't imagine anyone treating Margaret like that and surviving.
"So when you invited yourself along, I had to wonder - was it your wife you didn't trust, or me?" Pierce smiled. A wide grin that didn't look amused. "I can be pretty observant too, and I kind of think you don't like me."
Sam stared. All the goodwill he'd been feeling evaporated.
"We still need to talk to Margaret," Pierce said. "Just the three of us. So whatever it was you want to say to me, whatever reason you have for not liking me, can you let that happem?"
("You talk about Pierce, and I want to punch him."
"I hated him and then he just kind of wore me out of hating him.")
Sam had never punched anyone since he was a schoolboy. Pierce was standing there with his hands in his pockets, his eyes fixed on Sam, loose and relaxed and wary.
"It's up to Margaret," Sam said.
"Sure."
Pierce turned and walked back the way they'd come - faster than ever. Sam caught up with him. "You in training for a walking marathon?"
"I hate the subway," Pierce said. "I'd sooner walk a mile to work, unless it's raining." He flashed a very quick and unexpected sideways grin at Sam. "Also, I'm a coward. The faster I walk, the less likely you are to hit me."
And that was all he said, til Sam caught up to him again and they were waiting for the lights to change at Fairfield. Sam said "You pulled a lot of crazy stunts on Margaret in Korea." Crazy was Margaret's word. Sam would have used something stronger.
Pierce glanced at him again and nodded and shrugged, both at once. "Guess I did."
"Margaret let you off the hook for all of that crap."
"Yeah, she did."
And then, though the lights had changed, he turned to face Sam directly. "Look," he said, and unexpectedly, he spoke with real passion. "I get it, Mr Houlihan. I really do. You can forgive someone for what they do to you, and still hold a grudge forever for what they did to someone you love. I know all about that. So can we do this?"
"Do what?" Sam asked, but Pierce had turned and run without waiting for an answer - across the street just as the light changed, and leaving Sam stuck on the other side. Across the street, he saw Pierce give a cheery, apologetic wave, and set off down Newbury to Serafino's.
(And Chapter 5 of "All We Know" continues.)
#hawkeye pierce#father mulcahy#margaret houlihan#mashposting#All We Know#my wips#mash fanfic#story outtakes#my fanfic#Sam Colquhoun#Margaret deserves the best
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20 Questions For Fic Writers
I was tagged by @marley-manson, thank you!
I’m tagging @topshelf2112-blog @summerreign4077 @quordleona03 @frankwormseatsburns @blue-ravens @major-charlie @ofmd-alsaurus and whoever else writes fic and would like to respond. Please tag me in your reply so I can read your answers!
1. How many works do you have on Ao3?
40 works, 30 of which are fanfic and 10 of which are podfic
2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?
1,388,454 words
3. What fandoms do you write for?
MASH, Our Flag Means Death, Pirates of the Caribbean, Police Academy, and Inglourious Basterds on AO3
On ff.net I also have works for Monk, Big Bang Theory, Pokemon, The Green Mile, Rocky Horror Picture Show, Little Nemo, and Pokemon
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
Blackbelt, The Catch, Cardinals, A Boston Exchange, and Cold Comfort
5. Do you respond to comments?
Yes! Always!
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
I’d say Fate and Frank Burns, then The White Coatus.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Most of my fics have happy endings. I enjoy the ending of An Understudy In The Wings, Police Academy 8, Police Academy 9, and Blackbelt, but really, I think the majority of my story endings are happy.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
I did a bit on my Poldark Ossie-torture fic, but it is very heavy subject matter.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
I have written smut, though I don’t think I’m the best at writing it.
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
I wrote two crossovers, The White Coatus, a crossover between MASH and The White Lotus, and Police Academy 8: Police and Prejudice, a crossover of Police Academy and Pride and Prejudice. I wouldn’t call either crazy, because I used plot points from one story and characters from the other story in each.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not as far as I’m aware.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Nope. Although I did have someone voluntarily make their own fan art for my Green Mile fic on ff.net! So flattering!
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
No.
14. What’s your all time favorite ship?
That is really hard. I enjoy Stede Bonnet/Ed Teach, Charles Winchester/Hawkeye Pierce, and Charles Winchester/Margaret Houlihan. I also like my Police Academy Thaddeus Harris/OC ship, and Cutler Beckett/Elizabeth Swann.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
My Our Flag Means Death fic on my Amymimi AO3 account called Our Brand Means Love. Now that the second season has happened, this post-s1 fic has nowhere to go. Also, a sequel to my Inglourious Basterds fic over on ff.net that has been stuck for years, along with a Monk fic.
16. What are your writing strengths?
I enjoy writing realistic dialogue and capturing the characters’ voices and motivations. I will often speak the dialogue aloud as a character to see if it fits. I also think I have a good sense of humor that comes across in my stories, and good timing/flow.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
I would say, that I get let down very easily if I don’t get any engagement on my stories. Most of the time, I try to ensure I am very far ahead in chapters before I go posting the story, because a lack of comments/kudos really kills my drive to keep going. I’ve had a couple of stories take more than a decade to finish over on ff.net because not only I but my readers lost interest. It’s bad to be so heavily influenced by engagement and I should “write for myself” but I can’t help but get down and lose the drive when it happens. I envy the people that are internally driven.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
I have done it before, with German and French in my Inglourious Basterds fic and in Portuguese in my Pirates of the Caribbean fic. I actually had two Brazilian Portuguese friends of mine help me with the Portuguese translations!
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Pokemon—I was a huge rocketshipper (Jessie and James)!
20. Favorite fic you’ve written?
Honestly, it’s a toss up between An Understudy In The Wings, Face The Music, Blackbelt, and A Boston Exchange.My stories are my babies and I write what I want to see happen, so they are all custom-tailored for me.
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Hello!! Curious what your thoughts are about mail call 3?
That’s nice of you to be interested, thank you 😊 I don’t suppose they’re terribly hot takes or anything, but here you go. Since I have perpetual Klinger brain they all revolve around him I’m afraid. Essentially, this episode isn’t particularly kind to him but doesn’t seem to realise it.
It doesn’t bother that nobody believes Laverne is leaving him at first, because it true that isn’t out of line with his previous get-out attempts. But then when he completely goes to pieces at the movie and still most people…don’t seem that bothered? If um. If my friend stripped off at the cinema I’d probably at least check with them I reckon. He does get some concern from Colonel Potter and Father Mulcahy, and a little from Radar when he goes AWOL. But none of the other characters take any interest in his distress, at least as far as we see.
Now, OK, they the have their own storylines going on. But the conclusion of the episode presents things as though the 4077 helped Klinger through getting dumped and he’s happy that he has them? The family concept is specifically invoked twice, once by Radar and once by Klinger himself. He says he may not have a family anymore in Toledo but at least he has his Mash family. Which, sweetie no, famously you have a very large family at home! Who are always shown to be very supportive!
No one actually helped him through his personal crisis. He left camp still completely upset, and calmed himself down by entirely by himself. Everyone is happy to have fun with him once he’s managed to do that, but at his lowest point he’s rather left alone. And I think this episode is possibly the most shaken we ever see him (I’m sort of discounting that time he tried to kill Frank with a grenade because although it is strictly speaking canonical, it’s only his second appearance and totally out if step with how he’s portrayed in every other episode, so I feel it’s a case of them to having the character figured out yet). There may be other examples that I can’t think of, but it’s definitely up there. So it’s especially sad to me that they aren’t there for him.
It’s also just occurred to me that his getting divorced doesn’t…really go anywhere to the best of my recollection. I know it does come up again. But compare it with Margaret’s divorce, which is treated as an ongoing character arc, as much as that happened in sitcoms of that era. Which I love for her! But Klinger suffers a huge betrayal and heartbreak, and the finale of Mail Call Three treats as though it’s all resolved now, he’s fine now because he has his found family to help him through. Only they didn’t.
To be clear, I don’t mind characters being jerks to each other! However the disconnect between what the narrative is telling me happened vs what actually was shown on screen is frustrating to me. There’s also, you know, that general trend of Klinger being treated poorly especially as the series goes on. And I don’t like it because!! He’s great! I love him a whole lot! 🥰 So maybe I’m biased, but everyone should have been nicer to him. Or at least, fine, don’t have the characters be nice to him but don’t pretend that they were!
Anyway. I do like the scene between Hawkeye and Radar. It’s cute, they’re cute. As an aside, I like that Radar talks about setting up Daniel Pierce with his mum. It reminds me of how he’s keen to establish a relationship between his family and the Winchesters in The Party. People talk a lot about whether characters would stay in touch after the war. Things like that make me think Radar would make an effort to keep in touch with people, especially because we do see him write to the 4077 at least once I can think of. I also like Radar and Klinger’s interaction at the beginning, when he’s trying to get his letter. More cute!
Oh and one thing I do like is the way they tie Klinger’s mood to his clothes. He starts off in a dress, then literally tears it off when he reaches his breaking point. He stays in uniform when he’s at his lowest. And then once he starts feeling happier he’s back to dressing his best 💖 I think that’s interesting, plus extremely relatable!
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WIP Game: By Any Other Name and Strawberry Fields!
I talked about by any other name here! here's another snippet:
“Thomas W. Gillis.”
Sidney looks at him again, but Hawkeye avoids his gaze.
“Born the same year as you,” he observes. “Friend of yours?”
“We grew up together.”
It sounds forced, clipped, even to him. It’s not even half the story, and he senses that Sidney knows just how much he’s leaving out, if not exactly what.
Sidney glances at the headstone again.
“1951.” He raises his eyebrows. “Did he die in Korea?” he asks in that way he has—gentle, but matter-of-fact.
“Yeah, uh,” Hawkeye pauses. “I guess I never told you.”
He looks at the headstone. Nestled just behind it are Tommy’s parents, who died within four months of each other, a couple of years before Daniel. They can’t hide from time any more than the Pierces can; the faded granite betrays the grave with the latest birthdate as the oldest.
“He died at the 4077th.”
Sidney conceals his surprise well, but not well enough.
“Why do you suppose you never did?”
“You remember what it was like over there,” he shrugs. “There was always something else.”
Sidney waits. Sidney always waits. Sidney can sense when Hawkeye wants to say more, even before Hawkeye can.
“I saw it happen,” Hawkeye adds carefully.
“That must have been very painful.”
It’s an honest assessment, not patronizing. He's always been able to count on Sidney for that.
“It was almost thirty years ago,” Hawkeye says, like that makes it better instead of worse.
Unlike with Hawkeye's parents' graves, which he kind of does want to show Sidney, he just won't admit it, Hawkeye really does not plan on stopping at Tommy's grave. It's not in this excerpt, but on their way out of the cemetery, Sidney sees the same flowers from Hawkeye's parents' graves and the front of the house and makes the connection. W is a middle initial I gave Tommy because I thought he deserved one. That last line is very personal; it's weird to talk about your dead childhood best friend, and people will say they're sorry because there just isn't anything else to say, but it's weird to hear about something that happened so long ago so you say well, it was a long time ago, like that makes it better, but when you think about it it just means they died so young it's been that long and here you still are. Anyway. I hope you enjoy!
I am so happy you asked about Strawberry Fields because it's been on my mind! Strawberry Fields is very much a working title, but strawberries do figure. This fic is basically the night of the Rosslyn shooting from Josh's mom's perspective. One of the reasons I took a break was I couldn't figure out what the end point was, but I think it's going to be when she finally gets to DC, just before she sees him. I made some OCs to be her friends and neighbors and it was really fun! There's this one particular Moment I haven't been able to get right yet but I'm very excited for when I pull it off.
She took a third spoonful of filling. She never measured, it was always instinct. She always overfilled the spoon just slightly, so she could get it done in one go. Her hands were steady; she never spilled a drop. Jim had complimented her technique. She crimped the third tart, then went back for the fourth.
There was a sharp knock at the door.
The sound startled her. She dropped the spoon. It caught the side of the bowl with a splash, before clattering to the floor. There was a second knock. She turned in the direction of the front door, and her eye caught the television.
The letters scrolled across the screen in red.
Special Report
Shots Fired
President Bartlet
She picked up the remote. She found the mute button without tearing her eyes away from the screen. The sound roared to life.
“—and we can now confirm that President Bartlet’s motorcade has arrived at George Washington University Hospital—”
Oh, God, she thinks. Let that be all.
“—we are also receiving reports of several other injuries, but these victims have yet to be identified. The injury count is believed to be low—”
Someone would call. If it was— someone would have called her.
Someone was still knocking on the door. She stood, transfixed, in front of the TV. A shrill sound cut the kitchen in half, drowning out both the news report and the continued knocking.
The telephone.
She glanced toward the door, then turned her back on it.
She picked up the phone.
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Last Kiss
BJ had decided to drive off to work that morning. I made him his lunch, and kissed him “goodbye” as he left. I had a bad feeling, but chose to ignore it. That’s when everything went wrong.
He didn’t come home when he normally did. I though that there was just really bad traffic, so I waited.
I waited over an hour for BJ to come home. Just then, I got a knock on my door.
“Excuse me, sir, but are you doctor Benjamin Pierce?”
“Yes. Why?” I was starting to get scared.
“Your buddy, BJ Hunnicutt, was in a car accident and is currently in the hospital. You may want to come with us.”
I put my boots on, and let the officer drive me there. Naturally, I hate the system, but this is my best friend. I’d be lost without him.
We arrived at the hospital, I told the nurse my name, and she let me know where he was, and how bad of a shape he was in.
“BJ?”
“H-Hawkeye?”
“It’s me, Beej.” I forced myself to blink back the tears. I felt so bad having to see what state he was in.
“Hawkeye, I’m alive.”
I felt a tear fall, and he wiped my tears away. He kissed me quick. I knew he wouldn’t be around for much longer.
“I know, BJ.” I held onto his hand, and pulled up a chair.
“Are you okay, Hawk?”
“Yeah, I’m okay.” I had to lie.
“Okay. The nurses say that I’ll be okay.”
I heard that lie before. Over in Korea, we told our nurses to give our patients false hope in order to make them more comfortable. I couldn’t stand to see my best friend in this state.
A nurse called out to me from in the hall.
“Dr. Pierce?”
“Yes?”
“A word, please?”
I followed the nurse out of the room.
“Everything okay?”
“We just got his x-rays back, and it’s not looking too good. You’re his only emergency contact, and you’re listed in the paperwork as a trusted source, so I’ll let you have a look.”
I saw everything that was wrong. I knew he wasn’t going to pull through. She tried to make it seem less harsh that it was, but I knew the truth.
I stayed by BJ’s side all night, just hoping that he’d make it through the night. Unfortunately, at five minutes passed midnight, his heart monitor started beeping like crazy. The nurses came in, but it was too late. They left me alone with what was left of BJ, and I cried my eyes out.
“Oh BJ, I’m going to miss you. I-I never told you how much you truly meant to me, and I really should’ve. Maybe you wouldn’t be gone. What am I supposed to do without you? I-I can’t live knowing that you’re not here anymore.” I cried harder now. I kissed the top of his head and walked out of the hospital room, and headed back home. I decided to walk, and just let everything sink in.
I arrived home, closed the door, and slipped onto the floor. I held my knees to my chest, and cried. I couldn’t stop crying. I lost my best friend. The only man that I could truly love and trust. He’s gone now. What’s worse is the fact that I’m alone again. The house will be quieter, and I won’t be able to make meals for two.
I called everyone that was important to us, and told them what happened. I decided to ask father Mulcahy if he would like to do BJ’s service. He agreed.
A few weeks had gone by, and it was now time for BJ’s funeral. I was the first to arrive, and had some time alone with his casket.
“Beej? It’s me, Hawkeye. I know you probably can’t hear me, but I miss you. I miss you so much. The house has been so quiet since you’ve been gone, and I can’t live with the silence anymore. Oh god, I miss you. I’m going to miss you so much.”
I cried again, but when I heard a door open, I wiped away my tears.
“Hawkeye, it’s just me.”
Of course, father Mulcahy would be the one to see me like this.
“I’m sorry, my son.”
“I-it’s okay, father.”
“You’ve been crying. Want to talk about it?”
“I miss him. I waited for an hour for him to come home, I stayed with him at the hospital. I-I was the one in the room with him when he died…oh god…”
Father Mulcahy pulled me into a hug, and just let me cry. I didn’t want to let go.
“I’m so sorry, Hawkeye.”
“I-I know, father. Thank you.”
“Of course, my son.”
I decided to have a seat as I waited for the rest of the guests to arrive.
Everyone arrived five minutes apart from each other. I said my “hello’s” to everyone, and received many condolences. When it came time to the service, no one’s eyes were dry.
I helped Klinger, Radar, Colonel Potter, Charles, and Sidney carry BJ’s casket.
Everyone but Sidney and Mulcahy left.
I was given time to say my final “goodbye” to BJ alone, but Sidney and Mulcahy did want to talk to me afterwards.
“Hey Beej, I forgot to bring flowers, but I did bring you some of your favorite candies.” I set them on his grave, and traced his name with my finger. I hugged his tombstone, and cried.
“I’ll never be able to hug or kiss you again. I-I can’t come home to you laughing about whatever you were watching, or hear you hum whenever something tastes good, or hear you appreciate everything that the world gave you. I-I have to go back to being alone. And that’s the worst feeling in the world.” I cried harder again, and pulled away slowly.
“I was never able to tell you how much I truly loved and appreciated you. You made the world a lot brighter, and happier. I can’t go back to seeing how unforgiving this place is after you showed me all the good things.” I started sobbing harder. I couldn’t stop myself.
I left his grave, but before I could truly leave, I looked up at the skies and said, “Tommy? Henry? Please do me this one favor and watch over BJ for me, please. Take good care of him, too, now. He would’ve done the same for me.”
After I felt as though I said everything that I needed to, I met up with father Mulcahy and Sidney.
“Hawkeye, I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here for you.”
I thanked father Mulcahy as he hugged me and walked away.
Sidney sat me down, and decided to talk to me about survivor’s guilt, and other things. I listened intensely.
Sidney gave me a handful of tissues, and told me to “let everything out.” I did as I was instructed to.
“Hawkeye, I can’t help but get a sense that you loved BJ more than ‘just friends’.”
“You’d be correct. We couldn’t tell anyone over in Korea, so we kept it hidden. I miss him, Sidney.”
“I know, Hawkeye. He misses you too.”
We scheduled a couple of therapy sessions for the week, and parted ways. I walked home, and it started to rain.
As I walked inside my house, it didn’t feel like a home anymore.
I decided to just go to bed and deal with everything later.
I had a dream that BJ was in a field of flowers, waiting for me to join him. They were all different shades of pinks and yellows, and he looked so happy.
Hours passed, and I awoke to an empty bed. I noticed BJ’s clothes still in the closet, and I closed his side of the closet. I couldn’t bear to look at them.
I made myself something to eat, and went back to my room. I didn’t want to be around BJ’s things.
This was going to take some getting used to, and I know that I’m just going to hate it.
After I finished eating, I decided to go back to sleep again. There wasn’t any reason to really be awake anymore. I didn’t want to bother my dad, so I just decided that this was the best option. I lost count as to how many times I fell in and out of sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, I could hear his laugh. It was always so warm and inviting. I have to get used to this. It’s always hard to start again, but I have to do for BJ. It’s what he would’ve wanted.
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Five comfort characters, five tags
Well, who would've thought I'd be tagged in something like this... not me 😂
Thanks @kindaconfusingme for thinking of me. Though I have to admit this task turned out to be rather hard for me, especially since I approached it with an "easy peasy lemon squeazy" kind of attitude. Turns out I got a lot of comfort things: books, movies, music, food, clothing... but comfort characters? A character that gives me comfort solely by existing and not as part of a story? Surprisingly, I had trouble naming even one character, let alone five...
Now, enough whining about my sorrows concerning this tag game. Please, enjoy this list of comfort(-ish) characters I compiled in no particular order.
Luke Skywalker (Star Wars) - he was actually the first to pop up in my mind when thinking of a comfort character. A few years ago this would have surprised even myself since I've always enjoyed Anakin and his dynamics with other characters far more than Luke. But since Disney keeps shitting out new material Luke made his appearance again and I have to admit that I was deeply moved by his appearance, it had a feeling similar to coming home after a long journey. It just felt good and comforting for some reason. So congratulations Luke, you earned yourself a place in this tag game.
Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce and B.J. Hunnicut (MASH) - I simply adore this series for several reasons but these two are clearly one of them. I love how they use jokes and pranks to make their lives in a war more bearable, their sharp and biting sarcasm, but how they still know when to be serious and show vulnerability, their humanity, which sometimes is hard to maintain in a war. The way they take care of themselves and their friends when they are about to break and shatter from what's happening all around them is very moving for me.
Alicia Gris and Juan Manuel Vargas (The Labyrinth of the Spirits) - not sure whether these two (who count as one by the way) really fit the term "comfort" character but at least they have lived rent free in my head ever since I read the book. Regarding all the pain and unhealed trauma they just ignore and never talk about the "comfort" part might not be fitting but I love them and their dynamic so incredibly much that they earned their spotlight here. (My fave BroTP/OTP... can't decide which is better (Both. Both is good))
Ezio Auditore da Firenze (Assassin's Creed II, Brotherhood and Relations) - my video game husband. Do I need to add more? The Prince Charming is cute, funny and knows how to stab people. What else would you want??
Erend (Horizon Zero Dawn) - this might be my latest hyperfixation speaking but so what.. big, tough guy strong enough to swing a battle axe as if it were a toothpick who is actually kind of a cinnamon roll and a sweet dumbass trying his best? (He's a little confused, but he's got the spirit) Sign me up! Also a fan of whatever is going on with the hair and the beard.
This took and turned out way longer than I thought, so thanks for coming to my Ted talk, I guess.
As for the tagging: everyone who reads this and wants to do this as well, feel tagged. Apart from that, @book-full-of-dreams have fun.
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also I'm so sorry this is so late but like tom hardy is so fuckin fine istg like pls I had a venom hyperfixation and those dumbasses bullied me relentlessly for it 😔💀 like I would bring venom and eddie up all the fuckin time and they were forced to listen to my embarrassing ranting about them but like BROOOOOOO COME ONNNNN THEYRE SO BABYGIRL same problem happens with könig, colossus from deadpool1&2, darth maul, etc etc they wont leave me alone with the bulling 😔 pls its not my fault that I copy their voicelines n say them over and over to the point where we all go insane and its not mY FAULT WHEN I get flustered and say their name loudly multiple times whenever they show up on screen c'mon guys please- yeah I think they're all pretty bUT ATLEAST I DONT BITE INTO STRING CHEESE YOU DEGENERATE FUCKS (okay but they also send me stuff they see of those characters because hehe they know I like those characters so it's even but still goddamnit shaking my fists in mock anger like a cartoon character fr just hawkeye pierce doing the weird wHHHYYYY I OUTTA with his fists istg)
I feel very strongly about string cheese (not really)
the only exception to biting down on da string cheese is 1) if you're in a hurry and cant take the time to eat the cheese how it was intended or 2) if you don't wanna get your hands dirty (I literally don't care I just find it amusing to complain about this one topic lmfao do whatever the hecc you want lmfao who cares how you eat ur cheese lol) I also find it amusing to be that one guy whos sitting on the bed watching something my friends put on and just eating string cheese while my friends talk about something I am entertained so easily istg oHMYGOD THT REMINDED ME OF SOMETHING IM SO SORRY FOR GOING ON LIKE THIS SKDJK BUT THIS FUCKER-
THIS FUCKER WAS LIKE OKAY SO ILL BE BACK IN 30 MINUTES_ (WE WERE TALKING ON DISCORD HE WAS LIKE BRB) HERES SOMETHING FOR YOU TO WATCH AND THIS FUCKER PUTS ON A THIRTY MINUTE VIDEO ON YOUTUBE ABOUT GOD KNOWS WHAT I DONT EVEN FUCKING REMEMBER AND I JUST WATCH IN AMAZEMENT AND THEN HE COMES BACK AND IM LIKE YEHA THAT WAS A GOOD VIDEO BUT THEN I REALIZE HE PUT IT ON BECAUSE HE KNOWS
HE KNOWS ILL FUKING WATCH IT HE PUT IT ON TO ENTERTAIN ME LIKE A LITTLE KID AND IT WORKED IT FUCKING WORKED GODDAMNIT I WAS ENTHRALLE FOR THE THIRFY MINTUES HE WAS GONE THESE FUCKERS KNOW ME TOO WELL
YOU GOT FUCKING BAMBOOZLED. YOU GOT DAZZLED LIKE A FUCKING MOTH TO A LIGHT AND IM FUCKING SCREAMING HE PROPER JUST SAT YOU DOWN AND SAID HERE WATCH THIS LIKE A FUCKING KID
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M*A*S*H - Season 10, misc. notes
I tell a story about a salmon cannery in here.
— — —
Does this count as my third reference to Father Mulcahy moonlighting as an exotic dancer
Of everything this sweet voiced angel could have decided to sing in the MASH 4077 in the middle of the Korean War, few would have knocked me into the last century's worth of emotions as much as ‘Molly Malone’, a song I've only ever known with shells falling outside
youtube
Well Hawkeye looks like he feels exactly the same as me about this song choice, and we’re not answering that either, huh! Wow I like this episode.
Amazing how this is COMPLETE OUTLIER behavior and yet somehow has the feel of something they do all the time. Like if you’d only started watching this show in its tenth year, you would absolutely think oh, so that’s their thing: everyone falls in love with Dr. Pierce but he carries too much private sadness to do anything about it. And your friends would be like, you're simply going to have to trust us that No.
Appropriately the WARBLING YELL I let out at discovering this is Gwen Verdon sounded like a Gwen Verdonism
WAIT. That Hawkeye & BJ moment in the Previously On did Previously Not happen in the episode!
I am so in love with how many things going on around camp they're still not laying out clearly, just running on obliqueness and inflection and vibes.
Lit gasped at this red satin outfit, Gwen
This is actually quite well played, because Hawkeye feeling like too much of a war-worn ghoul next to her can be believed, without precluding him from still flirting with nurses (...& others) after this, as they’re already covered in grave dirt, too.
I don’t know anything about this movie but it does not matter, I know that Mulcahy’s line “Oh I understand perfectly, I saw The Jazz Singer” is hilarious.
“If he keeps it up I’m going to stage a new production of Death of a Salesman.” BJ lol
David Ogden Stiers’s tongue depressor snap acting some of the sharpest shit I’ve ever seen.
I like when BJ appreciates a Charles scheme. And Charles like: [Ilana Glazer voice] I appreciate you appreciating me.
Stop, sigh, trying to top each other, and address that you’d be split up.
Thank you.
“Tell me more about, uh, ‘Montana’—does it have a city?” David HELP
Aha! Colonel Blake was already at the 4077 when Margaret and Mulcahy arrived! I keep my own personal timeline, the full actual Korean War with the MASH personal mapped onto it in the order and timing I feel emotionally correct, because I am insane, and this totally matches, hohoho. Will share at the end when it's complete.
LOVE FATHER MULCAHY BEING FROM PHILADELPHIA, YES YES YES. He would love Gritty. 🧡 God’s creature
“I understand perfectly, Padre. Being a pin-up ain’t proper for a priest.” Well. There is the motif.
SO visibly is this a new shooting season. BJ’s mustache is half the size.
Hawkeye is the appointed chaperone for all the working girls. He is taking his job seriously and just standing at the back of the line writing his letter in between flapping GIs away. Our imagined viewer who just started watching in Season 10 still doesn’t believe their friends' insistence that this is Dr. What Are You Doing Later?
Oh my god, we’re addressing monolid surgery??? Wow!
This is the bitterest episode about America, like relatable but was there like, something going on..? Hang on…. ASDLKFASKF, REAGAN. Oh my god they’re writing in the first year of Ronald Reagan after four years of Jimmy Carter. Well!!!
In the immortal words of BOB FROST
Hawkeye has essentially taken all of BJ’s emotional intelligence by this point. This is honestly the problem—it was interesting when BJ could be a counterbalance to him, observant in different ways.
Ah, BJ canonically 6’4”
“How DARE you! How dare you stand there acting like your brand of suffering is worse than anybody else’s?! Well I guess it’s the only way you can justify treating the rest of us like dirt! Well let me tell you something, Sad Sack: if the worst thing that’s happened to you is that your pretty little wife has to help pay the bills for a while, don’t come to me for sympathy. Maybe you do have the most the lose, but that’s only because you’ve got the most.”
Margaret this blew my tits clean off.
BJ: “Well go on, it’s your turn.”
Hawkeye, brightly: “I don’t think I can improve on that.”
Truly though this was basically BJ’s worst quality, will this kick it??!!
Oh my god Charles this Copper. Tea kettle. Fuck!
Aaaaaaaare those Hawk’s long johns, that BJ has on
“Hey give me the Classifieds, I need a job!” Igor that’s the funniest shit
Nice. Nice plot, Hall.
So many great bits for KELLY this episode
Wait it’s KELLYE??? Babe I’m so sorry, I’ve been spelling your name wrong this whole time!
OH HYYYYYYY. Guess who's AverBACK.
Um, love the Korean black market calling themselves Little Chicago
Really like the surrealism of the M.P.s just repeating everything Klinger says in explanation as if it’s a counterpoint
Charles takes the law road, Hawkeye & BJ lay a Wile E. Coyote trap on the other, and we'll get Klinger cleared of charges ONE way or another
Sunday Go To Court Martial Clothes
Thank god they're back in their long jackets, those blue coats were awful for me
PUSH ME INTO A SNOW BANK
Klinger in his fur coat and Potter's colonel cap is kind of completely a look. It’s giving Napoleon in Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure, DON’T ask me why.
Kellye in charge of the hospital!! Hell yeah
COLD! SURGERY!
Hawkeye stumbling in all bundled and immediately diving against BJ’s shoulder to leach his warmth, wohoohhhoohhhhohohh this episode said hey girlie we know what you want
Harry Morgan contemplatively sipping these giant spoonfuls of soup…..
Margaret just walking outside and screaming at the sky, woof we love it!
“Go get ‘em, slugger.” I know I say this every time, but Alan Alda loves her so much
Hawkeye, BJ, and Charles getting very drunk by wryly toasting everything they hate is staggeringly good. They’re now toasting the plague. Tone of this is ideal. It is slow, light, and the darkest thing yet. “Are you gentlemen aware of what historically caused the great plagues of Europe, are you historically aware of that?” / “Not historically no.” / “War.” Charles is drinking his gin out of a tea cup.
The clamp....oh my GOD. The best bleak drinking they’ve ever done. Holy shit, Alda.
Mulcahy: “This farmer just wandered in looking for a doctor.”
Hawkeye, with BJ arm levered on his shoulder: “Well I just happen to have one on me.”
Sweet Jesus I’m in love with them this season
BJ: “Do you know how to make a cow say ‘ah’?”
Hawkeye: “Not without getting emotionally involved.”
Kareennn I love YOU
“Margaret, even Winchester women don’t do women’s work.” Incroyable.
Ed. note: I don't have a note here, but it's because I instead spent five minutes replaying BJ chair dancing for his Charades turn and crying with shocked joy
Lieutenant Kellye Nakahara as the nurse with lines is a development I support SO much
BJ talking Hawk through how to deliver a calf over the PA system while he’s on the phone with a vet….this episode…….
God such a good Margaret ep too!! KAREN FOREVER
Margaret: “I got half a bran muffin, going cheap.”
Klinger: “I got half a bottle of cheap scotch, going fast. Wanna swap?”
I’m just obsessed with this script, I'm obsessed with everything. Pristine.
I would like to know how Charles S. Dubin, who has been directing nearly half the episodes the last four seasons, is this one suddenly kicking it up notch
Karen I wanna propose to you
Their like, OSHA condemned Adirondacks outside the Swamp, hahah fuck me...
What is the symbol on the door, anyway? Ed. note: update!
Lol, wait fuck this guy. THIS is what we mean by glamorizing war!!! Wow perfect textbook example, gonna take this to the bank.
I love this season. Ed. note: Now this note I don’t know what it was for precisely, but you know, now say something true and beautiful etc.
Colonel is correct, best news possible always involves eggs
Potato salad > coleslaw, Hawkeye is also correct
Everyone getting positively wanton over egg orders, god they're me fr
Random fucked up soldier: “You guys married?”
Hawkeye: “Noo, it’s just that we’ve been through so much together that we look that way.”
:) See, this season I believe it
Man I’ve always loved doctors in military or para-military arrangements for exactly this reason: nominally officers, but like, askew, from the general organization, so it gets kinda amorphous about what orders they can give and what orders they really follow.
Omfg if he just scrambles all these hard I’m gonna LOSE IT.
Nooo!!!!!!!!!!!
Reeeeeallly like that this is turning into this like, legal loophole question over whether a mess tent where a chaplain is delivering services qualifies as a religious sanctuary for an AWOL G.I. Really like this!!!
Fucking yes, fucking yes. Father Mulcahy lawyering this, stalls for time by saying he doesn’t feel bound by military law in this matter and the only orders he’ll defer to on this matter from from the Command Chaplain at I Corps. And until then everyone’s just holding, this tenuous diplomatic immunity but only if you stay inside these tent walls, fucking yes!!!
Oh nice, they’re sending him to Sidney, he’ll help
Gratified that the pink Henley made it through the motorcycle engine grease unscathed
That ISN’T baby Laurence Fishburne!
It is!!!!!
Oh this racist ass needs to GO
They’re gonna get him with numbers!
They’re gonna get him with entrapment?!
They’re gonna get him with subterfuge!!!
Haha at least they GOT HIM
“And listen, Margaret—good catch.”<3 sweet
“Attention: the Chinese have begun a new offensive. Command anticipates heavy casualties within the next 24 hours. This is a recording.” Beautiful stuff.
Someone mentioning the 121st evac hospital is so key to the auditory atmosphere of M*A*S*H
Wait, Sidney???!! :)))
“Chez Misérable,” BJ that’s tight
The wordless, slow, measured escalation of the three of them destroying everything in the Swamp is perfect. The cut back….GOLD.
Hmm looks like they’re cold, wonder who directed this
“These are hard times, you nestle anywhere you can,” you say, sitting aside BJ’s bunk, turning slightly into where he would be. Alda you FREAK.
Ohhh love BJ with his coat collar buttoned up tall, all soft and clean from the barbers
Charles: “I hope you manage to stay beautiful until Pierce gets back to see you.”
BJ, sudden quiet dread: “Back from where?”
What the Fuck!!
Sweetie you would have just had to go instead! You are back to being protective of him! AUGH, SEASON 10
Fuck fuck fuck fuck Hawkeye is sending the patients on to the 4077, fuck fuck fuck, you could send back messages
WRONG literal associations for this, please disconnect from this just slightly but not entirely so I can tell you this story: When my sister was working in Alaska at a salmon cannery one summer, she was a grader, assessing the fillets as they came down the conveyor belt and deciding if they were nice enough to be sold whole, or going to get chopped up for the cans. Sometimes, when there were fish that were so obviously banged up they were going nowhere but canned, the Filipinos, who did the filleting further up the line, would cut in a big heart. And suddenly somewhere in her hallucinatory 16 (!!) hour long days my sister would see this mangled salmon fillet with heart carved in it, and look up in surprise down the line to see the filleters all waving & beaming enthusiastically at her, and she’d gleefully hand-heart them back. They called her Lala Barbie. Barbie obviously because she’s a tall adorable blonde, and I thought Lala was a twist on her name, but it turns out it was because she usually wore an oversized bright colored sweatshirt under her cannery scrub things, and they were thinking of the Teletubby. Every part of this is like my favorite story.
Anyway, obsessed: BJ is now hearing a doctor at battalion aid has been killed. This is so delish.
You can’t just trail off thinking about BJ and find your flask to take a drink!
You can’t just skip him in your will because it’s too much!!
Father Mulcahy flashback SO cute and SUCH a thrill
Margaret only making dumb puns when she’s exhausted is hilarious, it’s amazing. It means she could be doing this all the time but is like, no I will not be doing that.
Heeyyy! Salmon :)
I knew Potter was Hawkeye Dad 2
THANK YOUUUU for the Jacques Brel reference, BJ!!! Wait hang on though, timeline check….aw babycakes, you are anachronistic, but I love it anyway!!
AAAAAHH-AHAHAHAHAAA, this soldier didn’t TELL BJ he was patched up by a doctor in a knit cap over silvery hair and silvery eyes? He can tell he was just by Hawkeye’s stitching handwriting???? I’M LAUGHING AND MY HEART’S FLIPPING AT ONCE
BJ, half-asleep: “Hey. When I wake up, remind me to give you a kiss.”
Oh….my fucking god
Ohhhhhh my god and turning around Peg’s photo, that Hawkeye thinks that was to her!! The perfect tragedy-of-errors of this honestly makes me think we’re supposed to think it was to Hawkeye even more than the whole rest of their behavior this episode.
Klinger rapidly rattling off everything to do with a morning report with all the proper document names and numbers, finally “and faint if it actually gets there.”—BLESS YOU, BABY!!!!
“You’re the one who wanted to turn a man down because he had a ‘Z’ in his name.” That is SO CHARLES.
Sergeant Klinger!!! <33
Klinger, on the phone, after each thing he says has successively revealed to us his scheme that will get this giant threat discharged: “…My name? [drawing up] Sergeant Maxwell Klinger, MASH 4077.”
Hawk, BJ, and Charles in the background: [spiritually if not physically saluting]
Don’t believe I’ve mentioned yet how very unbuttoned BJ has been this season
It is kinda interesting that Charles and a bit BJ are like uuhh oh, they’re gonna let Hawkeye quip to a crowd, but he’s really like, um, would kinda rather not please? Just giving you a quip as a brush-off so you’ll hopefully let me leave?
Oh my god are you all nuts?! He does not want this! Are you not registering this particular flavor of humor as defense mechanism??
Wait, wasn’t Plato also known for being a wrestler? Haha Mulcahy.
Oh he doesn’t know!
They have to BUILD a defibrillator, right now!??
BJ with his feet up, creating like an entire Roman aqueduct across the Officer’s Club
How many times are they gonna make Alan Alda say “Portland, Oaregon” for me
It makes NO SENSE that Potter wouldn’t let Margaret prove her bowling skills
This bowling plot is kind of a disaster, but Charles just quietly, unobtrusively providing support to Pierce as he tries to find out why his dad is in the hospital is lovely
Very good acting from Alda
Wow, 10 years old, yeah, I’d guessed it squarely :(
Hold Please!!
Does that say.....'RADAR'S TIN CUP'? I'm gonna.. die ?? 😭
Oh, Charles….. :(
“Charles, you’ve never told me anything like this before.”
“Actually, Hawkeye, I’ve never told you anything before.”
And their expressions, god !
Don’t, don’t keep making me emo about Winchester & Pierce, help...
Um excuse me! What was THAT! You cut out all the running up to the patients and loading them up parts of the credits? The running????!
Just such an accurate character read that Hawkeye Pierce absolutely can’t live alone
Karen Hall is doing something I so love, which is those overlapping transitions where a character will say a line that sounds like a response to the previous line, but it’s a new scene and to someone else. Like in DS9’s ‘Trials and Tribulations’
OMG!! And now like the DS9 episode where Keiko gets Miles and Julian back together by telling them “He’ll never admit it, but…” Karen!!!
Whew thank god the credits are back to norm. Must have been a time-saving measure with how much space the network had between the ads that week?
The idea of Hawkeye having to become an indentured servant to the Army truly is rather chilling
Luckily though we have our old friends to rely on: entrapment, blackmail, and subterfuge! If they weren't so good they'd actually be so shady.
— — —
Season Viewguides
These
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1 (although we know the answer), 26, 33, 42
1. Who is/are your comfort character(s)?
The concept of a comfort character has actually always kinda confused me because I'm not sure if it's supposed to be like... a character that you just think about constantly or one who actually gives you *comfort*? The answer I'm assuming you're expecting is Izzy Hands, which yeah, he's been in my thoughts approximately every second of my every waking hour, so he absolutely fits definition 1. If we're going with definition 2, I'll throw in Hawkeye Pierce from MASH as a bonus. One of my longest lasting blorbos, and I think he would give good hugs also.
26. A scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times?
I'm actually struggling to come up with an answer to this question -- I replay conversations a lot (before and after they happen lol), but I can't for the life of me think of a specific example. As for daydream type stuff... I daydream *a lot* but they're usually pretty varied. These days I tend to play out a lot of scenarios for writing. I'm sorry this is a non-answer lolol
33. The last adventure you’ve been on?
I honestly can't think of anything recent, if that tell you how my year's been going. I met up with my friends last summer for a camping trip, though, which was SUPER fun. We rented a cabin for the 4 of us which was approximately 5x10 feet with two twin sized beds, no electricity, and no running water (although there was a shared pavilion with water and electricity, so it wasn't exactly *roughing* it.) And this year, we're hopefully doing something similar if we get the scheduling in order!!!
42. An app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site?
I have a Guitar Tuner app called GuitarTuna =)
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and another tag from @marley-manson to post a WIP snippet from a fic.
uhhh who writes fic @thebreakfastgenie @bipolarhawkeyepierce @bornforastorm @caddyxjellyby
i’m posting from the rule 63 trapper (girl!trapper) fic to try to encourage myself to keep working on it. here’s a piece of how the Margaret-Trapper interaction goes down in this version of Trapper’s ‘farewell’ party from the episode Check Up
“I said beat it Frank!” Margaret’s screech from a few seats over broke the moment between Trapper and Hawkeye.
Trapper turned her head just in time to catch Margaret actually smacking Frank’s hand - which had been going for her waist - away from her. Frank shrivelled up and slunk back dejectedly from the bar and into the crowd, crossing through the sea of dancing people, to take a place against the wall. From across the room he stared mournfully at the back of Margaret’s blonde head.
Under normal circumstances, Margaret was far too much of a drill sergeant for Trapper to want to offer her anything other than grief. But Margaret was more sympathetic without a sniveling Frank Burns at her side, and she looked terribly out of place moping alone at the bar as the party raged around her.
“Save my seat.” Trapper whispered to Hawkeye, who watched her slide off her stool and go towards where Margaret was sitting. “What’sa matter Major?” she asked when she arrived. Trapper hadn’t been drinking on account of the hole in her stomach, but she faux-slurred the words, thinking it might help her appear non-threatening.
“Nothing.” Margaret said bitterly into her drink. She must’ve been expecting Trapper to shrug and walk away, because she seemed surprised when she happened to look over and see Trapper still standing there. Margaret asked cautiously, “What’ll you have, McIntyre?”
“We’re off the clock, Major. You can call me by name.”
“I might. If I knew what it was.” She wrinkled her nose. “Trapper. When are you going to grow up? You and Pierce both.”
“I–”
“Guess I’ll never know.”
Trapper hadn’t the faintest idea as to why Margaret sounded so sad as she said it, reflecting the feelings she’d expected from Hawkeye, who was at that moment staring into space with a dopey smile on his face across the bar, getting steadily more drunk.
Her own tongue loosened with alcohol and melancholy, Margaret went on, “I can’t believe you’re getting out. You practically just got here.”
She traced the rim of her glass with her long, buffed fingernails, which Trapper happened to know were technically a violation of the army dress code. Nails were to be trimmed short and hair pulled back. While Margaret was almost never without her starched uniform during the day with her shirt tucked stiffly into her trousers, she couldn’t seem to do without her hair, bleached religiously, and her long fingernails which were sometimes coated in a clear varnish. And there was always a glossy layer of peachy-pink colour on her lips, and a dusting of matching blush across her cheeks. She didn’t actually need the latter tonight, on account of the vodka currently bringing more than enough colour to her face.
“You know, when you first got here, I thought maybe we could be friends.”
“Sure had a funny way of showing it, Margaret.”
Margaret looked at her sharply, and for a moment Trapper thought she might get a slap and the shove just like Frank had. “I was–”
“Yeah?”
“I was…” the anger seemed to fade from her voice. Her eyes softened. Pale and icy eyes, lighter and sharper than Hawkeye’s ocean blues. “I guess I was pretty upset. That first day, in the Colonel’s Office.”
“I got that.”
“It wasn’t you. It’s that… that… Blake. Always going over my head with my nurses. Even Frank does it sometimes.”
“You could stand to ease up on those nurses of yours.”
“They work for me!”
“They work with you.” Trapper repeated with a sigh, knowing it was useless to try to reason with her once a certain level of shrill entered her voice.
Margaret downed the rest of her drink and then snapped her fingers at the bartender for another. The next glass of cheap vodka appeared in front of Margaret before Trapper could sigh again.
“Do they ever talk about me?” The question surprised Trapper. Margaret had asked it in a quiet voice with her eyes fixed on her drink.
Talk? No. The nurses never talked about Margaret. They complained about her. They vented. They raged. They griped. Eddie Ferguson wet Margie’s shoulder regularly during her weekly cry about the most recent dressing-down she’d received from Major Houlihan in front of the whole operating room.
“Maybe,” Trapper lied. “You know, between my shifts and Hawkeye, I’m not really around for a lot of the chatter.”
“Right. You and Hawkeye… and now you’re leaving.” Margaret groaned, picking up her fresh drink. “And I’m stuck here. With needlenose.”
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