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#thinking abt him looking at photos of himself as a late teen in like the worlds ugliest r/male living space type fit
floorpancakes · 1 year
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i feel like at some point watanuki just realised all his protests to cute things and anything remotely not-a-plain-dirty-tshirt-and-cargo-pants stuff was largely irrational and he actually DOES want to be pretty
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icecreamkink · 3 years
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so i watched cobra kai all in two days and i have so many -
this show has so many cool and smart angles to it, but the same time.... its so stupid oh my god everyone is so dumb literally mr miyagi held all of the braincells in this whole universe 
like i am but at the same time i am not surprised it was made like this, bc in hindsight of course there were hordes of ppl simping over johnny lawrence ....  but it still amuses me that this is like... an Actual Official Thing
ok this will get long so cut it is
how much fun this cast has is super visible and i love it
i rly enjoy how the world was expanded ! i did grow up watching the karate kid movies, so watching how they progressed the world of the movies so organically was pretty cool. it rly feels like its the same universe
i fucking LOVE stories that are largely about a Thing. dancing ,skating, sports its just so thrilling to experience this all consuming relationship people can have with this type of activity? and martial arts are just that much more intense, so yeah, grown ass men kicking each other around at the lightest provocation and a war veteran caring so much abt teen karate is Ridiculous.... but i love it all because thats the intensity i find so thrilling
was kinda surprised with how much im missing mr. miyagi. first because, like everyone is so unhinged jesus christo, it just really throws into relief how much his character grounded the narrative of the movies. but also hes just a really great character
and on that note it rly Gets Me that the show itself aknowledges that and plays that into daniels angst and all the little ways they sorta weave myiagisms into the whole show........ im not getting emotional over this dumb karate dads show OK
related - i really miss hearing ‘daniel-san’ 🥺🥺
ACE DEGENERATE oh god oh no
they really went down the down and out johnny lawrence route huh. like i was always kinda bummed we see kreese choking him and then we never see him again in the movies, and while i love dumpster fire problematic trash himbo ck johnny, its like......................... actually really sad that his life turned out like this fjngn
everytime i hear ‘babes’ and ‘pussy’ i die a little inside. i know thats the point but i am a v cringe easy person, have mercy (ehe)
loved the way they are constantly drawing parallels between johnny and mr. myiagi of all people. hes the handy man of his building that has a bullied kid asking for help and eventually steps up to teach them karate, beats up a bunch of bullies for him, creates a friendship with said kid, estranged from family, drinks his sorrows away, surprisingly one of the least quick to anger characters (which says more about everyone else really but.... Well.), no schemes or ulterior motives hes just tryna vibe here.... oh and ofc magically heals miguel of is asthma apparently. the true disciple.. meanwhile daniel is his usual messy petty self even tho he wants to be mr myiagi so bad 
also interesting about that is how miguels character is a parallel of both johnny and daniel at the same time
overall the parallels in ck are done really well, drawing comparisons and also subverting them constantly. theyre well thought out
THE PARALELOGRAMS
fr tho, the angle being explicitly the cycle of trauma and its effects and how trumatized adults in turn traumatize kids, maliciously or not, is so interesting
but! on the flip side of that, it feels like the writers are getting in their own way @ letting the characters grow. especially this last season. theres only so many times you can do "johnny and daniel are getting along but 5mins later they are (literally) fighting over some dumbass random issue" or "johnny puts in 20% of effort with robby and then gives up" before it gets on your nerves yknow?
i see daniel no longer talks like macchio ingested 15 shots of espresso before every take and idk how to feel about that tbh
interesting tension in daniel, as in, in tkk mr miyagi was there and daniel was frankly, kind of a lil shit, this messy petty spitfire hot tempered sassy kid,(johnny lawrence voice: just... stop being so annoying) but now hes the adult, and he wants to be mr. miyagi... but hes just not, and never will be to his very core and it shakes him and in a way hes trying to find who he is now that he sees himself in a position to be a not! cobra kai figure. i kinda really like that 
plus how that relates to his cobra kai trauma. idk if the writers thought abt it Like That, i think so, but in any case, its interesting bc it seems like daniel has told everyone whod listen about johnny lawrence his Pretty Boy Karate Rival and high school and 84 cobra kai... But. no one seems to know what went on in 85 (or 86? idk) which was just so much worse
like ye og cobras were shitheads, but tkk iii is just two hours of daniel being emotionally and physically tortured. 
like, the third movie is.............chaotic, to put it nicely, and many people ignore it, but the writers clearly didnt. daniels actions are, in a way, responding so much more to the events of tkk iii than to the first movie ie. johnny himself, AND. daniel doesnt rly seem to have dealt with that trauma? he never told sam? doesnt feel like hes ever told amanda? he doesnt even say terrys name out loud? freaks Out over kreese ? the way he reacts to robbys deceit? his FACE when he walks past the new "fear does not exist in this dojo" paint or kreeses photo? hmMm i sense Pain
his fashion tho........... disappointing. where are the flower shirts daniel huh we had one (1) shirt what a tragedy STOP WEARING SUITS ALL THE TIME . also the band ts/grunge bi are a look for johnny but part of me longs for the preppy lovable 80s bully chic johnny lawrence getups
weird that they never used that last moment of karate kid where johnny kinda... snaps out of his anger and hands daniel the trophy almost in tears. like “youre alright larusso, good match” “thanks a lot”  that being their last direct interection seems like itd be perfect fruit for cobra kai but... they just dont. weird. 
especially when, the FIRST SCENE they see each other, suposedly in 30+ years, the first thing to come out of daniels mouth is QUOTE "u still got those golden locks huh?" WHO SAYS SHIT LIKE THAT DANIEL FUCKING SAN 
also amandas immediate reaction "your pretty boy rival?" like. can we talk about the fact that daniel had to have imparted to his wife the very important information that his high school bully/karate rival was like Really Cute and Fucking Hot Actually
 the writers Knew exactly what they were doing and honestly.............. power to them
tkk director voice: and billy was just so cute  
also I was thinking that daniel sounded strangely fond in that first scene, and i wonder if he developed a weird affection for johnny on the grounds that of all of his Karate Rivals johnny was actually the only one who didn’t actively tried to literally kill him
i was actually delightedly surprised with how great the chemistry between them is, like from the get go i am Invested. their rl friendship totally bleeds through and its fantastic
. granted, idiots enemies to lovers friends is my Thing so i am biased  
johnny lawrence: i am down in the dumps, i fucked up my whole life and my sons probably, largely in light of the trauma that the father figure sensei and the philosophy of my karate inflicted on me and all my friends. u know what i should do, as a traumatized, unreliable mess of an adult? teach that same philosophy to some other kids! what could go wrong! 
but really i enjoy the setup of it. i kinda like that i watched it late because, season 1 was johnny setting himself up for failure in a way and it was exciting to watch it all go to shit sjfn
Like. his heart might be in the right place, but theres just.... not a way to teach something like ‘strike hard, no mercy’ and not have it fuck up a kid 
case and point: aisha, miguel and hawk become annoying as all hell over that bullshit in the end of s1, even before shit gets truly fucked up
billys subtle panicked eyes when he sees hawk and miguel fighting dirty in the all valley was SO GOOD especially in parallel with the panic that is so visible in his face in the movie when kreese tells bobby to injure daniel and in the sweep the leg scene 
seen people question wether kreese should have returned and i absolutely think he needed to. johnny needed to realize that cobra kais fundamentals are flawed, at the root, beyond kreese himself being a toxic piece of shit 
also who are we kidding? we are here to see the tkk characters play on new playgrounds!
i get what they're doing abt kreeses backstory, ( also. cobra kai. pq eles caem nas cobras djjs sorry) but did it need to take up that much time? feels like they couldve  done it in half the run time and developed some other stories better 
martin kove has such an evil eye. i love it
love that we get a good follow up to kreese breaks johnnys trophy and tries to CHOKE HIM in the parking lot, which happened in the movie and then....................... was never mentioned again
“the gang is all back together again” aaaa u piece of SHIT 
also. terry silver is definetely appearing ha ha ha PAIN i cant wait
seen ppl say kreese was too much of a cartoon villain like..........................oh......... sweetie........... u dont even Know
interested how johnny will fit into that bc kreese was simping rly hard for johnny here. like i did not expect him to be so adamant to have him with cobra kai ... under his control, sure, but he really wants johnny by his side despite already having control of the dojo and how will terry silver self appointed jon kreeses forever simp going to feel abt that? 
like bitchs dropping by every episode like ‘joooooohnny ..... come bacc to me joooonny......... this ur last warning! for real this time johnny! i wont say it again! watch me ! im leaving johnny! im rly leaving ! im dragging a chair” and johnny is just like. dont let the door hit ya bitch it was so funny pls
and on that subject oof, johnny! doesnt! Know! he doesnt get that side of daniels cobra kai trauma. and i kind of.............. cannot wait for ck 2021 johnny lawrence to meet terry silver like. what a shit show i need a front row seat and popcorn (imagine terry tries some greasy charm and johnny just roundhouse kicks him in the teeth bc he just doest Not Have the Patience for This. glorious)
feels like we, as a society, should acknowledge that cobra kai will never die................ bc their sense of design is just chefs kiss. their name is COBRA KAI. they have sexie sleeveless black gis. theyve sneks. colorful leather jackets with embroided naja insignia, the get ppl thru the aesthetics. evil geniuses
the flashback cuts : masterpiece behavior
the other takes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of the movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the differente angles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of the FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE CLOSE UP ON JOHNNYS FACE AT THE KICK 
that scene of daniel and johnny vibing to 80s music in the car. just. oh my god. the fan wish fullfilment. no thoughts head empty.
the new characters! theyre .... good. but. idk. i really like miguel (save for the annoying phase mid s1 - end s2) and amanda, who is a damn riot and has some functioning braincells, but everyone else is       
like dont get me wrong, i dont hate anyone,its not a jane and rafael from jtv situation,  and i am interested and invested in their arcs, but i wouldnt say i like   Like them, as in, personality wise 
like, sams grappling with ptsd was rly gutting and i enjoyed that plus her slight rage issues, 
which nicely parallel torys rage issues. torys background is all over the place tho so im pretty on the fence abt her so far
robby deserves better in every way, and i like how smart and cunning and surprisingly sweet he is
hawk............... is there i guess,
 demetri is annoying in the best way possible,
 carmen is sweet but. i just feel like her character is blunted to make the johnny relationship easier. like when shes furious with him after miguels injury but then forgives him like an episode later? and then convinces him to fight for the tournament bc she had a karate epiphany off screen even tho she was always against it? meh. feels like with the plot thiccening she was swallowed and now shes like a crutch for johnny mora than anything, which is disappointing.
aisha was cool and im kinda mad she wasnt in s3, especially bc a storyline with her tory and sam was like RIGHT THERE , but also... cant say i was super super fond of her... doesnt feel like we ever spent enough time on her
moon the bi icon, 
overall its a good cast but the main draw for me remains the og cast 
the tory/sam miguel/robby Thing. enjoy how theyre Narrative Foils and i like how their stories were so dramatically entangled but oh god give me a break with the teenage love square for the love of god. if u gonna put us through that at least have the decency to not make it so straight
and honestly some sam/tory        miguel/robby romantic tension would even make more sense. just saying! 
also im not sure how i feel abt the cobra kai: red miyagi do: blue theyre going with since some of daniels most iconic looks in tkk are also red. like it was a color they (johnny and him) sorta shared. i get it, opposite but complementary but idk... a little too fire nation and water tribe for me .
 and like the cobra kai kids are so funny abt it bc their outifts grow progressively more ridiculously coordinated. its like do they group chat every morning before leaving their houses? 
robby still sticks out like that tho. he went thru an athleisure/daniel san tsleeves phase and now hes back in the bandts grunge, but his color scheme doesnt fully blend with the other cobra kais. hmmmm.
LOVED LOVED LOVED both the okinawa episode and the cobra kais easy rider episode just such good good heart aching fun
bobby is an icon. he was in tkk and he is now ck hope appears more and more
 tommy is like the most iconic background character. all his lines, freaking gold then and now. sigh :( 
the framing in the okinawa trip was so good everything was so good
i stand by the fact that kumiko was the love interest daniel had the most chemistry with and shes is overall such a joy to watch, loved to see her again, idola, fashion icon
also tkk ii is good u guys are just mean
also really enjoyed chozens role in the episode, his evolution; i love that they introduced the pressure points (ty lee the blueprint) and! the honk + karate! cousins! absolutely iconic
when kumiko reads mr miyagis letters........ oh my god, my eyes FILLED with tears, it was so heart wrenching :(( tamlyns delivery was so emotional and lovely and its so obvious everyone involved in ck has so much love and respect for pat morita and mr miyagi as character, and i adore that it exists like this electric current through the show
when we were watching i told my sister i thought that ali would be miguels big shot surgeon and ngl i am so disappointed that didnt happen. hire me cobra kai writers
also the johnny ali daniel amanda chemistry? off the charts
AND the sassy retconning of daniel and alis breakup! LMAO ‘I HOPE U DIDNT TELL MR MIYAGI IT WAS MY FAULT’ HFDJJGNKFKSD
i am preeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetty sure back injuries dont work like that    but oke
daniel and johnny are so good together whenever, like they never actually help the kids or get shit done and end up fighting anyway but its just so much fun when theyre hanging
JOHNNY LAWRENCE AND DANIEL LARUSSO FIGHTING TOGETHER
daniels “plan” on how to get robby to juvie was so stupid. literally were u TRYING to make him hate you. dumbass
parents at those hearing rly brave for ppl that did not do ANYTHING as their kids got involved in a karate gang war until now
“bullshit i heard u were the real bully!” i mightve screeched
this s3 ending was SO DRAMATIC omg
everyone is such a MESS go to THERAPY u unhinged motherfckers
also im sorry but uh. a richass neighborhood in california doesnt have some type of neighborhood watch? the larussos rly dont have any security at all? neighbors wont hear the sound of a damn karate brawl happening next door??? also wasnt tory all like ooo i cant go to juvie, my mom yada yada yet shes always running around town getting into fights even at the rich girls house she was kicked out of school for fighting??   ?  ??    ??        ?                ?    ?          ??                  ?    ? girl??
stop destroying the larussos house, its so pretty :((((
sam finding her center looking at mr miyagis picture...  uwu maybe
robby yelling ‘U ARE WEAAK’@  johnny \as he is easily blocking him is like.... so funny and so sad to me. sweetheart. 
also i know it was meant as ‘oh johnny pushes him and HURTS HIM’ but it just looks like robby runs himself into the lockers and IM SO SORRY I FEEL SO BAD BUT IT WAS SO FUNNY 
i like that he and tory are the cobra kai kids now. we need ppl we care abt there to not revert to a good vs evil schtick, and this is the most engaging it could be... tho it hurts that these kids cant catch a break
ah yes "lets bet some real shit on the result of this teen karate tournament bc that is always a great idea" is BACK
so daniel saves johnny from kreese..... maybe johnny will save him from terry 🧐
and dojos unite ohohoho. lets SEE how that’ll work out 
miguels face of Despair when the ck defectors and the md kids are bickering like 'this is never gonna work' : gold
also. Johnny Lawrence is gonna learn some myiagi-do karate AHAAHSJAKDFH
 ive been waiting for this moment all my lifeeee oh lawrd 
final thoughts! there are def things i hope the writers will improve on the next season, but i am very excited for it either way AND i feel like it has made me enjoy the movies even more and that is a win for a reboot/sequel to me!!
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yikesharringrove · 4 years
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how do u feel abt doing smth like a modern au where billy is like , all this punk rock and teen angst and leather nd jean jackets kinda of thing and steve is the exact opposite of him with fluffy skirts and soft polos nd just really soft and they two have seen eachother but dont actually talk to one another until they have a school project and they just. fall in love overtime? basically , femme steve + punk rock billy falling in love.
(pt. 2) also!! happy 21st birthday 💓💕💗💖💕
The university had a strict core curriculum, meaning that Steve was ten minutes late for his Philosophy of the Modern Era class.
He couldn’t find the room, was wandering around in this basement with his schedule written on the back of his hand. He was peering at room numbers and muttering to himself 067 067 067.
“You looking for that philosophy class?” Steve turned around at the voice.
The guy was stomping down the hallway in big leather boots. His jeans were ripped and shredded, and he was wearing a black t-shirt with pink font reading Dog Park Dissidents. His denim jacket was covered in pins and patches and sharpie drawings. He had Silence = Death written on one of the pockets, Being nice IS punk rock was scrawled down one arm.
“Yeah, that modern era one?” The guy smiled and nodded, reaching forward to shake Steve’s hand. His eyes were a startling blue, lined with a thin smudge on black. His hair was wild and curly, shaved on each side into this beachy looking mohawk. He had his nose and his eyebrow pierced, along with several in his ears.
“Billy Hargrove.”
“Steve Harrington.” Steve could feel the tips of his ears go red as Billy looked him up and down. He was wearing something cute for the first day of class, a chunky white cardigan over a soft pink peasant dress. He had gotten up early to do his makeup well, and was late to class anyway because this stupid building was a fucking maze.
They set off down the hall together, looking at each door they passed by.
“Oh shit. Pretty Boy, I think I got it.” Steve flushed slightly at being called pretty, still not used to being able to dress like this in public. Billy wrenched open the door, and stomped in, not a care in the world for being twenty minutes late.
The professor raised his eyebrow.
“And what were you two doing out in the hall?”
“I’m sorry, we couldn’t find the room.” Steve’s cheeks were hot as he was standing at the front of the class.
“That’s okay. you have missed class introductions, to please say your names, pronouns and majors.”
“Billy Hargrove, he/him, double majoring in literature and social work.”
“Steve Harrington, he/they. I’m also a double major in education and early childhood development.” The professor made a note on his role sheet.
“Thank you, you may sit down.” Steve went for the back of the room, flopping into the first empty seat he could find, ducking his head as he quietly got his laptop out. Billy had stomped into the seat next to him, had gotten out a notebook and proceeded to doodle in it for the rest of class.
He sat next to Billy every Monday Wednesday and Friday from 9:20-10:35 and and outside of their ten minute search for the classroom, they had yet to say anything to one another.
It certainly didn’t help that Steve was harboring a little crush on the guy. He would watch him in class, the way he would doodle little sunflowers in the margins of his notes, smiling softly at them.
“So, for the rest of the semester you will be working in pairs. I want you to go through the readings we have completely and work together with the philosophers we have discussed to create your own system for the modern era. How do you believe society exists now?” Billy turned to Steve, grinning at him.
“You wanna be my partner?” Steve gave a sheepish smile, his heart racing.
“I, um. Yes. Yeah, I’ll be your partner.” Steve dug his phone out of the tight pocket of his skirt, trading with Billy. He put his number under Steve Harrington - Modern Era Philosphy.
“You wanna get coffee after class, start working through our beliefs?”
“Um, sure. I don’t have class until, like, 3:30 today.” Billy grinned again and fucking winked at Steve. He needed to calm the fuck down.
“So basically, a lot of my beliefs are based on the punk message.” Billy was sipping at his black coffee, had laughed and said should’ve fucking known when Steve ordered a large mocha with extra chocolate syrup, and whipped cream. “I’m a very live and let live person, but I believe everyone should live and let live. If someone is trying to dictate how others should exist, they’re fucking garbage.”
“Okay, I actually really agree with that.”
“That’s because you’re punk rock.” Steve laughed, but Billy’s eyes were serious. “No seriously, there’s nothing more punk rock than being unapologetically yourself.”
“When did you get into punk philosophy?”
“When I was in high school. My dad was a real prick, and I was angry, and a lot of punk is loud and pissed off and it helped, but then I started going to shows, and talking to people, and it’s not what you’d expect. Everyone at a show is like a weird family for a night. If someone comes in and tries to fuck with someone, the family deals. I can’t tell you how many fights I saw that broke out because someone was perving on a girl, and these other guys started protecting her. And that only grew as I started getting into queercore.”
Steve was listening to Billy, eyes wide as he described stories from shows, how he had jumped in on fights to defend the family, how he would walk girls home or to their cars parked a ways down the street, how he knew everyone would do the same for him.
“God, I wish I had a community like that. I didn’t really have anyone growing up. You know, token queer in a small town kinda vibe.” Billy smiled at him sympathetically.
“That why you came out to San Fransisco?”
“Oh yeah. Wanted to come somewhere where, this, didn’t matter.” He gestured to himself. “I just don’t get why it bothers people. I just do it because it makes me happy. I don’t know why it concerns anyone else.” Billy was nodding vigorously.
“Exactly. That’s the whole truth about being queer. People hate you for something that has nothing to do with them. It’s completely wack. Like if I’m with someone in whatever capacity, we’re both consenting adults. It literally doesn’t matter.”
“Do you think we could expand upon this enough for our project? Talk about how we feel the world should just stop caring about what other people do if it has nothing to do with them.” Billy grinned.
“I think we could make something happen.”
They began getting coffee after each class, taking through their project, finding resources to back up the ideas they had discussed. The more time they spent together, the more Steve liked Billy, liked how sweet he was, how positive. They talked about having terrible parents, how Billy’s dad had kicked him out at sixteen for being gay, how he had lived with friends, saving up to get himself through college. They talked about how Steve’s dad had found his stash of makeup and threw it all away, making sure it was ruined and broken. How disappointed his father was that he was studying to become a teacher.
There was one Friday they had met up and stayed all day in the coffee shop stayed until the 5 pm closing.
“You wanna come over? I have a single room. We can keep working.” Billy grinned at Steve like he always did, showing off all his white teeth. So they walked side by side to Steve’s room.
Steve kept his room neat, a habit left over from overbearing parents who would shame him into cleaning his room.
Steve’s room was exactly how Billy imagined.
He had soft white lights, a full length mirror on one wall. His bed was covered in pillows, duvets, and even a few stuffed animals. The wall above the bed was covered in pictures of Steve back home, several with a group of younger kids, and a lot with a blonde girl.
“This your girlfriend?” Steve snorted.
“No, that’s Robin. She and I are just really close friends.”
“What’s with the kids?” Steve blushed.
“I babysat all through high school, and those kids kinda adopted me as their pseudo parent. It was a lot of driving them all over town.”
“That’s cute. That why you wanna teach?”
“Yeah, I’m good with kids.” Steve had plopped himself on the made bed. He watched as Billy took off his heavy boots, placing them neatly by the door before stepping onto Steve’s plush grey rug. His socks were thick wool and had little cartoon dogs on them. Steve was in love.
Billy sat with Steve on the bed. He was taking a closer look at the photos.
“I could see that for you. You’re a caring type.” Steve looked down as his feet, could feel his face getting hot.
“Why did you pick social work?”
“When I was a kid, CPS would be called to our place like, once every few months. My dad was a real good schmoozer, so I would always just be left with him. I wanna be able to help kids get out of bad situations.”
“God, and you call me a caring type. You’re gonna save the world.” Billy laughed.
“The children are the future. I’ll save ‘em, you teach ‘em.” When Steve looked up, Billy was leaning closer into Steve’s space. He had a soft smile on his face. His eyes were bright and beautiful and so fucking blue. “Can I kiss you?”
“Can you, what?”
“Can I kiss you?”
“Why?” Billy still hadn’t leaned back.
“‘Cause I have a big dumb crush on you, and I think you have one on me.” Steve’s face was pink.
“I, uh, yeah. Go, go for it.” Billy laughed, taking Steve’s face in both hands. He leaned in, just gently pressing their lips together.
“So, was I right?”
“Yes. Very much so.” Billy laughed again, loud and sweet, pressing another kiss to Steve’s lips.
“You wanna go on a date? A real one? Not just us getting coffee and pretending we both weren’t totally into each other.” Steve snorted again.
“Yeah, I would really like that.”
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harrysahottie · 5 years
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i’m tired
just another angst piece abt H ignoring Y/N that you’ve probably read 100x
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Y/N had been treated poorly before, she really had. From a shitty group of friends, to a shitty boyfriend, to shitty parents, she really had been through it all.
Despite the fact that these things hurt, it allowed her to grow a thick skin and recognize how she should and should not be treated.
And how Harry was treating her right now, well, was just shit.
He hadn’t been ignoring her per se, but rather just treating her with pure, unadulterated hostility and antipathy.
She hadn’t known where this sudden hard-nosed side of Harry had come from, but she didn’t like it one bit.
And although Y/N definitely wasn’t one for confrontation, she knew she had waited long enough for this to fizzle out, and it hadn’t, so after a month of Harry treating her worse than she deserved, she planned on trying to talk through his feelings with him.
Just having come back from work, she was tired and definitely not in the mood for a fight, but she knew it was needed to keep their relationship steady.
So when Y/N comes home to Harry in the kitchen, she immediately noticed how he tenses as her presence neared his.
Gathering up the courage too, she inhaled deeply before placing herself behind the counter opposite of him and exhaling the words, “Hey, H, could we talk?”
Not even bothering to look up from his dinner and phone, which he hadn’t even made for Y/N as well, which was unusual for him, since their routine for the last year and a half that they lived together was Harry making the dinner and Y/N cleaning up, since she frequently worked later than he.
Although Y/N tried not to be hurt by this, it did put a little dent in her heart, seeing him so carelessly eating his dinner without her, but what put in even bigger nick in her heart was when he quickly and impassively uttered, “Got things to do Y/N,” and then began to put his plate in the dishwasher before picking up his phone and walking away.
The second time Y/N had tried to bring the topic up again was exactly three days later, and Harry just wasn’t having it.
“Y/N, haven’t you realized that I’m busy?”
He would walk away before she even got a chance to reply. Another little scratch.
The third time she had done it was the day after that, not letting him scare her. She had gotten a similar response of a snide remark leaving his lips before he walked away from his problems. Her heart was dented again.
Week after week she would try to get him to just speak, to her without being cold, but his fog of hostility never seemed to let up, dampening the mood of their shared apartment and relationship all in one. And each and every time, her heart was cut, teared, and chipped off, little by little, again and again.
She was denied cuddles, kisses and even the simple luxury of being able to talk to him was now foreign to her.
And what hurt most was that he was like this only with her, because she had seen photos of him all over Instagram with his friends, and he was seemingly having the time of his life. Hell, he even had his friends come over once or twice and his demeanor changed from icy and stoic, to warm and friendly in a matter of seconds.
Though he wasn’t coming home late, he might as well have, because he wouldn’t even dare be even in the same room as Y/N unless it was time for them to go to bed.
She was tired, she was a resident at the local hospital, working 50, 60, hours a week and on top of all that, she was dealing with a shit boyfriend who didn’t seem to love her anymore.
He didn’t love her anymore. She came upon this conclusion while mulling her brain during her hospital rounds about why the hell Harry had been treating her like this, for the last two fucking months. And her heart shattered.
At first she was a bit upset, wondering what she had done to become unloved by him, and then she got angry, angry at him for not having the fucking decency to tell her how he felt as he felt it, and then she felt acceptance, acceptance about the fact that not every single relationship lasts, and that Harry, albeit being pretty shit recently, was a relatively good boyfriend previous to all of this and she was glad she had been with him.
And then, right then and there, she decided that what they had was obviously over, and worked to grieve the relationship before it officially ended, reminiscing on the good times in which Harry had actually loved her.
So that night, after the usual hours of silence, Harry had finally retired to their shared bedroom where Y/N sat, still in her work clothes, sat at the edge of the bed.
“What are you doing still up?” Harry questioned as he stripped into only his boxers.
The silence from her made him turn, and there he was met with her tired and dreadful looking eyes. She sighed almost nostalgically before letting out, “Isn’t this getting a bit old?”
“What?”
“Harry, just tell me you don’t fucking love me anymore, so we can finally end this sad excuse of a relationship we’ve been having these last two months.”
She had taken his silence as an answer, so Y/N walked over to the suit case she had brought out earlier and began to back some of her essentials. She should’ve packed it before, but there was still a flicker of hope in her heart that thought that maybe, just maybe, Harry had still loved her.
“Y/N, I still—, I still love you.” He finally let out after what seemed like eons of silence.
Y/N giggled, she really did. “Let’s not keep bullshitting ourselves here Harry, you stopped loving me a long time ago, or at least you stopped acting like you even knew me, a long time ago,” she threw a few more pieces of clothing into her suitcase, “I just wish you had the fucking decency to tell me.”
“Y/N—stop.” Harry moved towards her, gently grabbing hold of her wrist, preventing her from grabbing the next items in the draw. “Let’s talk this out, yeah?”
And finally hearing his voice speak two sentences to her after months of radio silence, it set her off, it really did.
“Oh fuck off Harry, I gave you a billion chances to talk this through. So many god damn times, and you want to talk now? You’re speaking to me now?”
“Y/N—“
“How little respect do you have for me that you actually, genuinely think that you can ignore me for almost 3 months and then the second I get the courage to leave, you finally decide to have the spine to hold a conversation with me?”
Before he could cut in again, Y/N quickly cut in again, “You have 2 minutes to explain yourself.”
Y/N continued packing, waiting for Harry to collect himself and answer. But after a considerable amount of time, she looked up to him with a raised brow, “Nothing?”
“I’m—I don’t know.”
Y/N nodded, accepting the fact that she would probably never get a clear answer from Harry.
“You can’t—you can’t just fucking leave. We have to talk this through Y/N, we are gonna talk this through, I just need, I just need time,” Harry sputtered out almost desperately.
“I don’t have to do anything, and I’ve spent the last two months enduring you treating me like shit and giving you time to sort yourself out, and I’m done.”
And with that, she walked away, leaving Harry conflicted and a little tearful.
-
wrote this like a month ago when i was feeling like an angsty teen wearing thick black eyeliner. it’s kind of shit and needs a lot of editing but i decided to post it anyway, and the ending is quite anticlimactic but 🤷🏻‍♀️.
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