097 - loser (both of them. one of them affectionate the other one dead serious)

i actually think i have some sort of brain damage from chapter 403 because now ive taken my bkdk obsession to a whole new degree. like, i was insane before, but now i feel as if i should be genuinely put into an asylum.

ive gone through a full on awakening.

before this chapter i refused to believe that bkdk would become canon/hinted bc like its wishful thinking. but now? ive fallen into the fucking deep end. i am of full belief that bkdk will become canon or at least be hinted bc horikoshi is cooking something and im so glad im not the only one to see it.

there is no way that man doesnt know what hes doing. bkdks entire arc has been fucking perfect and this man just keeps BUILDING UP. like all this talk about feelings, and how bkdk have never really spoken about them to eachother before??? this is like, building up to a fucking love confession i swear, because katsuki DIED for izuku, and izuku cant control his heart when it comes to katsuki, and like… what other explaination is there? atp i consider it canon that theyre in love with each other.

and the other most likely ship that i thought was gonna be canon, izuocha, just is not feasible. its not like i dislike the ship, no hate to it at all, but making it canon would be so fucking harmful to izuku and ochakos characters and we dont talk about that enough. it would a dissapointing, flat conclusion with barely any build up and itd be the bland, predictable formula. like, ochako has already basically wrapped up her thing with izuku with that entire fight with toga. shes admitted herself that her crush on izuku was more admiration than anything of massive substance. and dont even get me started on izuku. barring some fluster and embarrassed blushing in the early seasons, this boy has NOT reciprocated AT ALL. its actually ridiculous. izuku has been focused on like, two things only: hero work, and kacchan. izuku does not show ANY romantic feeling to ochako whatsoever.

surely, surely if horikoshi were to make this canon, he’d put in a little more effort? add some more chemistry, more development, more than just ‘boy meets girl. blush and get shy. little crush. get married. the end’?

that is bad storytelling, and horikoshi is anything but a bad storyteller. this guy adds foreshadowing YEARS before the chapter. horikoshi is INSANE when it comes to character + relationship + plot development. if horikoshi throws all that out the way, and makes izuocha canon, id be extremely, extremely disappointed. not because i hate the ship, but because itd be out of nowhere, disregard practically ALL development, and be nauseatingly dissatisfying.

talking of which, for the entire day ive been thinking about the foreshadowing for bkdk.

there. is. so. fucking. much. it feels like everytime i read like a new section of the manga, their relationship is described in the most frutti tutti rainbow gay way. im sorry, shigafo, did you just say that katsuki is closer to izuku than ANYONE else? excuse me, aizawa, did you just describe them as pair, a pair that the class revolves around? dont even mention the shit that izuku and katsuki say referring to each other. i cant even choose one to add in here, but every out of context bkdk quote has like these SEVERE more-than-platonic undertones, especially when you consider their past and their development. i feel like horikoshi has been doing some fucking insane foreshadowing for something MORE.

yk, i keep on thinking about how in the double spread in 403, the words ‘the beginning’ are displayed right over bkdk, as they find each other. call me delusional, but that has to be on purpose. i also keep on thinking about izukus green and orange gloves in so many official arts, and the light in both their eyes when they see each other, and the way theyre both always observing the other, never speaking about how they feel directly.

their relationship is just so, so……. and i feel like the only next step is for them to talk. just. fucking. talk. its been hinted at for so long, and horikoshi is doing SOMETHING.

them simply being together would be the most satisfying, developed, beautiful ending.

if they arent canon, i will die. ill say it now. bkdk canon. there is too much proof. as a writer, i know for a fact that i write everything for a REASON. why would horikoshi write this, if he wasn’t going to do anything with it?

bkdk will be canon. i dont care if i sound insane, or get proved entirely wrong. i now fully believe that the last page of the manga will be bkdk at a theme park eating crepes.

thank you chapter 403 for driving me off the rails.

Can we just like. Can we. Can we discuss the actually really good chemistry of WindlifterxCabbie for a second? I barely use either of them, mostly because they're not my first picks when it comes to fics and such, but, since the fairytale comic they have both kinda been on my mind (my fixations are showing up in pairs atm) and I've been kinda sorta maybe loosely debating some things.

Headcanon-wise, Wind doesn't have any love life backstory yet and Cabbie doesn't have a family backstory yet (which is funny because they each have what the other lacks, Wind had his brother Hinto and Cabbie iirc has an ex wife I have mentioned all of once) BUT despite the things they lack I have *just* enough development of then both that I am beginning to see the possibility of a Windbie ship and, truly? Its actually kind of fucking adorable. Please, sit, let me share with you my thoughts.

[Note: this is all coming out of my headcanon here]

At first glance they don't look like two folks that could get along, let alone have a relationship. Theyre just so...different. But that's the beauty of it! Windlifter is the brains and Cabbie is the brawn, you got your gentle giant and your...um, you know, your heavy hitter. Your bar fighter is what I mean to say. Would kill for the other's affections. Actually that's probably how they show affection. Let me bring you the head of my enemies. (You know, I say this like its weird and yet I entirely understand this logic too)

On top of that, their characteristics really compliment each other in a unique way. They could easily learn from one another - if they haven't already, which is the other thing. What if Cabbie used to be a lot more rough-edged until Wind helped him settle? What if Wind used to be insanely timid until Cabbie taught him to be more assertive when needed? Its very possible that by the time we see them in the film that they've already taught each other a lot.

There is also definite room for desire in those things, too. A sort of "I look up to you, you look up to me" thing. They've lived such different lives, how much stronger would one feel the other is for having survived all they survived? Mutual pining in a way that they feel they could never amount to how strong the other is could really be something.

Also, two giants with soft spots. Like. Can we just- Can we just y e s? Mutual intimidation?? I get that Cabbie is - at least, in my humble opinion - easily more intimidating just by the fact that he is intense, but wouldn't it be so cute seeing him all flustered for Windlifter? Wind can't outsize him but he can sure outword him. (Actually in any pairing ever, Windlifter calmly dirty-talking their partner is like. Ho-ly shit. Take me now.)

The barber thing I talked about earlier was the other piece that finally did me in, just realizing, if Windlifter ever asked to actually cut his hair, Cabbie wouldn't do it flat out. Because that's Windlifter, that's like...that's Windlifter! He couldn't just destroy locks so precious. Or maybe he could but only if he knew Windlifter actually wanted that change and wasn't just saying it to be closer in style to the others. (I don't know whether Wind would really bend to peer pressure but it's on the table either way, maybe theres times he does, idk)

Anyways yes that is my spiel. Probably not my headcanon, likely just an AU -...for now...-but its a d o r a b l e and I want to see more of it. If I had less than 35 fics in progress I would write this. That being said I have...35...fics. So. *ahem*

Saw your tags on a post and I've gotta know what your top books are because I want to read and I can't get into anything atm x...x

that's a hard thing to answer because.. it has been so long since i read things properly but i can say ive got two things that immediately spring to mind

1. the ruins by scott smith - survival horror, drawn out suffering, etc. I honestly read this in like, a week-ish, maybe a little less and at first i didnt think it impacted me a whole lot. i closed the book saying 'huh, that was neat' and then the book didnt leave my mind for two years straight. i am not joking. i am not exaggerating. every single fucking day for two years i would think 'wow the ruins fucking slapped holy shit'

so yes, if you like that kind of stuff then i totally recommend.

fun fact: this book rooted (hah) itself in my brain and i used it as a springboard to develop adri's personality. if you read it youll understand.

and 2. GONE (the whole saga) by michael grant. its uh. well. its kids with superpowers. except instead of playing hero they act like actual kids and there is a LOT of violence. and i mean a LOT. there are so many disasters and casualties the whole saga its insane and if you read it youll probably think 'wow yeah this totally changed windy's brain chemistry jesus christ'

DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO VIOLENCE. its not incredibly graphic but its very very harsh, even by YA standards

my favorite one was the fourth one, PLAGUE.

fun fact: there are SO many editions have diff covers and some even have fucking pictures of real people as the faces of the kids and i am so SICK of them they should go back to the covers i have which are JET BLACK save for the outline of the title, and the name of the author printed in transparent shiny film so u can only see it if you lean the book towards light

theyre honestly so cool. why did they change them

seriously, what the fuck is this. these do NOT do the books justice this looks like a romance drama not books where teenagers are beating each other to death

(sidenote AGAIN i have only read these six. apparently after light michael grant has been writing several other books in this same universe (w the same characters???) but the situation they were in is not there anymore so????????) but yeah i havent read them. idk if theyre good or not. frankly idk if i want to read them at all

and last but certainly not least

3. phantoms, by dean kooontz. its uh, its wack. first time i read this i plowed through it in 3 days cause i was so hooked

its ALSO a fucked up book, and it ALSO changed my brain chemistry a less than normal amount.

spoiler: its not about phantoms (its worse)

they are so strangely charming sddsdsdd the things they do on insta..... 😳 admittedly idk what a marb is i'm sorry 😔😔 he's so weird tho and yet somehow everything he does is endearing??😭 yes a revecarablinkzen!! great name💖 ahh i love mingyu he's so funny n cute!! and minghao's style... absolutely insane💗💗💗 omg itaewon gate was truly smth else💀 -❄ (1/3)

YES that was the candymakers!!! tbh i barely remember the book i had to google it lol but yes that's the one! oh i haven't read any of jorge luis borge's work but i'll check it out thank u for recommending it to me!! and tbh i get it haha i don't have much motivation to read books nowadays :// i did like all the light we cannot see.... but i read that back in 8th grade whoops i also think the great gatsby is so well-written but f. scott fitzgerald was NOT a great person 😕 -❄ (2/3)

i was into poetry recently tho.... i really love le lac by alphonse de lamartine!! do u like poetry? or what else do u like to do in ur free time? (besides making amazing gifs ofc!! i can't believe i haven't mentioned this before but your gifs are stunning!!!💖💖) btw i'm so sorry for the late reply, i hope you're doing well!! -❄(3/3)

god their insta shenanigans 😭 ive seen their old lysn screenshots they r so funny it physically pains me. by Mark Barb i mean like a barb but for mark—idk if uve ever come across them but the barbz are nicki minaj’s fanbase. im not a proper barb bc im critical of her for obvious reasons but the barbz are maybe the funniest fanbase of all time the barbzstruggle twitter brings me joy sometimes....but the point is that i love mark a lot i think hes fucking fantastic <3 mingyu is soooo great i like him a lot i can really see why he n jaehyun were in a gc together 😭 they both r massive dorks...and back when i was into kpop and minghao was my bias he still had that poodle hair (mansae era ish) so seeing him when i got back into the grind was 🥴🥴🥴 to say the least! i love him and his closet id raid it if i were tall enough lol and im gonna r0b his shoe collection anyways. itwgate changed my brain chemistry btw ☝🏽

😭 i only remember it cause i used to read every book i remotely liked about six or seven times...not like consecutively but when i ran out of new things to read id cycle between older stuff. did u ever read the candy shop war? that was my favorite candy-adjacent kids novel lol. tbh jlg’s stuff is really easy to get into bc a lot of his work is super super short id highly recommend it if ur trying to get back into reading (he writes poetry too!)! ive been really bad about reading well recently too...i liked the great gatsby but i read this side of paradise and that was super disappointing lol. i didnt know he was like. an awful person but i kind of figured given his time period ig? while theres a real imperative to not just blindly say “separate the art from the artist” because that allows one to ignore, internalize, and platform racism, misogyny, anti-semitism, and other forms of bigotry (cf jk rowling) i try to read just about everything i read critically, because no matter how any author presents themselves i feel like theyre just as likely to be a bad person as any other artist or celebrity—actors, musicians, etc.

i used to be more into poetry but i havent picked up too much in a while </3 we had a poetry unit in ap lit during quarantine that was kind of not fun and so i was like🧍🏽‍♂️lol. i’ll definitely check out that poem though, i enjoy the stuff and itll be good to get back into it! for fun i like sports—i watch hockey, my main blog, @henderyhuangs, used to be a hockey blog lol. seasons starting up soon so im looking forward to that. i like basketball and reading too. thank u for thinking my gifs r ok 🥺 thats very nice of u to say 😭 todays been very all over the place haha but i hope uve been safe and well. and take ur time w sending these, just do em whenever u want im not picky haha. ik i just wrote you a whole essay, its probably not ideal to have 2 go thru this long ass message and try to respond 😭 so i totally understand. hope you’re well too! take care.