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cloveroctobers · 3 years

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•ALLEGRA BIANCHI•

IG info/bio: @/theeallegrabianchi | 303k followers| Entrepreneur | bad bitches go to therapy thxz 🦭👄

(24) 26 years old

From Swansea, Wales

Ofc she knows who Catherine Zeta-Jones is...her mother literally resembles her and remembers people coming up to her mom countless times asking for a pic growing up, and Allegra hated taking pics for these imbeciles...mainly because the attention wasn’t on her

has a dysfunctional family...

her mother is critical of almost everything she does but at least she paying attention?

and feels her father is neglectful and only seems to be heard when she’s in his face

all they know how to do is scream at each other instead of talking calmly to one another

her mother is of Venezuelan heritage

And Her father is of Italian heritage

her father’s side of the family resides in calabria italy

he named her after his high school gf that passed away due to his irresponsible drunk driving on their senior prom night

Her parents do not have the healthiest of relationships due to her father constantly cheating on her mother in the past...leading to verbal and physical fights

also has a kid or two outside of their marriage because of his unfaithfulness and allegra learned to hate them because of the hurt her mother showcased

In the beginning she was only around them because her father enforced it, that she needed to know her family “blood is all you got in the end.” He would always say but that was bs

Would take her, her half sibs, and her full sibs on day trips/weekend trips in his suburban

Has three full older brothers and one full younger sister

Because of this, Allegra did not have a clear view of what love was supposed to be and felt that anger in a relationship is supposed to be somewhat of the norm?

Many times she wished at night in her bed with a pillow over her head that her parents would just file for a divorce already when their fights would get bad to the point things would get broken and her mother would h*t her father (once with a metal bat) and throw him out of the house

Has had the cops called on their household before and cps definitely has/had a file on them

Has been in family therapy before and is currently in therapy mainly for herself because of the trauma & how it’s messed with her spirit as a person

Loves? Cares for her parents from afar but will never understand their relationship and why they’re still together to this day

Can go months without speaking to any of her family members and be completely fine with that

Had her younger sis, Nerina put her PRIVATE shit on blast via internet after love island aired and completely cut her off since she is “a clout chaser and money hungry bitch who can’t take care of own her child cause she opened her legs to a meth head who loves prison” OOP

she only has a decent relationship with one of her brothers who’s two years older than her, Vito. They seem to be the closest out of the sibs and he’s the only one she bothers to speak to from time to time

She’s a “cocktail entrepreneur” so I’m guessing she has her own business where she specializes in her own cocktail drinks? Working in some upscale rooftop/penthouse bar where she successfully makes profits from her signature drinks or has a brand that focuses mainly on cocktails

It took years for her business to take off and hasn’t been easy, not one bit. At times it felt like everyone wanted to see her fail and she has openly spoken about her struggles as not only a entrepreneur but as a woman in this business where no one wanted to take a chance on her

That just lit the fire that’s already inside of her

Aries sun + Leo moon + Scorpio rising? (Personality vs how you react to things emotionally vs you’re outside shell for those who don’t follow this too much. I’m not too in depth about it but I do find it interesting!)

Or should she be reversed as a Leo sun with a Aries moon? Aries are direct, fiery, one step ahead of others, impulsive, and know how to take charge. Leo’s are dramatic, loves attention, passionate, loyal, warm, and have a need to express their passions, and scorpios are intense, secretive, mysterious, and work strategically

anyways, I feel like she’s definitely improved as a person over the span of two years? Or at least I hope she has cause everyone goes thru changes

And she was frustrating in s1 so I just know she had some deeper issues going on so I really think therapy is helping her ass I wish it would help me lmao

Being cheated on honestly made her feel like her mother, weak in her mind she was with this dude for awhile—3 years and he just up and thought it was okay to cheat on her? With his personal trainer?! Yet he didn’t gain any muscle mass?! The ultimate disrespect!!! but one thing she knew? She wasn’t going to stick around like her mom did

But she was bitter about it foresure. She ultimately wanted to corner the girl for messing with HER man but part of her knew she wasn’t the only one to blame. However that didn’t stop her for cussing her out via voicemail a couple of times while intoxicated

Allegra always strived for love cause she’s never really seen it before or felt it

Sure she’s had many boyfriends before?And their names didn’t matter not only because she didn’t remember them? But she never felt the spark with them in the first place?

Maybe she wasn’t meant for love so she kinda put on this bitchy front and always been that way with some shitty friends she had around her until she recently cut them off a year ago

has gotten herself into trouble as a kid: trespassing, and destroying public property, smoking in the girls bathroom, physical altercations, cutting class, being assigned community service, etc... all with these friends she’s had for years!

Before she met her problematic friends in secondary, when she was in her pre-teen stage she was involved in the handbell team and in the Color guard but hates to admit it even tho her parents have pics all over the flat

went away to uni for a semester and wanted to join a sorority but the hazing was extreme to the point she was sent to the hospital then accepted? Which led to more trauma in her life so she dropped out

A few years later she decided on online courses and moved out of her parents flat as soon as she could with the $ she saved up and did not leave in the house since it was not safe to smh

Therapy was really helping sis, she felt a lot better and was working on her deep rooted issues mainly the anger and hurt and never really realized how it revolves around her life. She was super thankful for her therapist and reshaping herself

Many didn’t buy it but she knew she couldn’t give that much of a fuck? She couldn’t. In order to grow you got to learn that you have to involve for yourself and not others

She didn’t like the person she saw watching the show back but when she came back to the reunion a part of her hoped people saw some sort of change in her—even if it’s only been a few months since the show then

Sometimes she’ll slip back into old habits, wanting and doing so by snapping on people and blacking out by getting intoxicated and knowing that healing is a process and valuing yourself is the exact same

has a toy poodle that she loves deeply

doesn’t have many outside friends after cutting off the ones that were toxic

is pro-ab*rtion and had one herself which was aired out by her sister online

has a cozy flat that has a lot of brick exposure inside, a navy sofa which is her favorite piece in her house, and a view to die for!! which erases the fact that her apartment is “cozy” which she uses to replace the fact that it’s much smaller than what she originally wanted. She dreams big ya know!!!

currently has a crush on her art teacher who resembles Adam Rodriguez

but also feels like liking your teacher/instructor is a bit weird? Even tho they’re both grown

yes she is taking art classes now outside of work to find something that’ll bring her peace and these pass months they have until COVID hit where classes had to be cancelled yet she was contacted to continue online but she felt her art was truly shit but he says art is subjective

She feels like there’s a connection there? But at the same time isn’t looking for another relationship until she fully works on herself first! That took awhile for her to accept after she fell into some relations with a few ppl after the show

from there she realized that she might like girls too? And got a little annoyed that it took her this long to figure out especially with the way she felt around MC and cherry

doesn’t like to admit this but her fav holiday is Christmas? Even tho the theme is majorly corny to her but it actually makes her happy?

Feels like that was the only time her family showed love towards each other, and even tho they didn’t come from much, they always followed thru with their traditions

and she misses them a little bit around this time and might be the first one to call them even if the calls are short lived and kinda awkward at first

Loves making gingerbread houses and cookies

i feel like she now embraces her forearm hair but still gets everything else lasered

Miss Allegra has inches okay?! But I definitely feel like now in 2020 she’s chopping that shit off into a pixie cut and when she posts on the gram her hair is usually always damp when she shows it off

some comments — jake: lovely! Jen: babe, ur beautiful! Erikah: 😍 Tim: how hot! You’ve got the whole resident evil thing goin for yous

“Did he just call me a virus?”

And she might get a like from mason that’ll make her feel some type of way

We all have to go thru some growth you know so do you girl!

You can’t tell me she doesn’t play stabscotch!

Used to be obsessed with social media way before going on love island but lately doesn’t mind disappearing for months at a time? You have to cleanse yourself from that shit

idk i see her being mostly cool with jen or erikah and will hang out with them from time to time? Maybe they experienced some growth too, shit I sure hope so

still feels something for mason??? But at the same time maybe it was mainly superficial since mason wasn’t fucking with her like that, not 100% but at the same time gets frustrated that he still doesn’t see where she’s coming from and it’s been 2 years???

She loves hard if given the chance and then feels like shit when it doesn’t work out cause it feels like she wasted a fuck load of time

she no longer follows him because she feels like it’s better for her spirit or whatever and she doesn’t need to see him with someone else

the only guy that she really interacts with is Tim, yet tim is cool with everybody!

Otherwise there’s no real connection with her and anybody else? She wants to keep love island separate from herself now because she’s not exactly the same as she was two years ago? And hopes someday people will get that

Probably watches those auction shows on the telly late at night when she can’t sleep, hoping and can afford some of those things one days

I feel like she has chronic migraines too?

Once had a significant other buy her Allegra-D in all seriousness for her birthday because it reminded them of her & thought it would help her headaches 🤨

Loves the snow, but hates cleaning it off her car! S/O to those HOA fees, bless it cause leggy’s deff bussed her ass once before breaking her collarbone and sued like a mf!!!

Since her hours are hardly consistent since she’s mainly her own boss, she’ll have late nights/early mornings when she returns home and has to shift days where she cleans the flat but when she cleans??? It’s best everyone stays tf out of her way

And don’t try to help her cause you’re doing it wrong 10/10 of the time, she loves cleaning and has dropped mad money on those super expensive vacuums

Only knows how to make what’s relative to her culture: arepas, penne alla vodka, and cawl but otherwise than that? She’d rather clean then spend hours in a kitchen cooking unless she’s making cocktails ofc!

also loves shopping for clothes but shoes are her fav things to shop for

Deff has a steamer over a iron for her clothes

Keeps eucalyptus and lavender oil in her purse at all times

posts mainly on her stories and made a deal with her supporters that she’ll go live once a month since she feels like she owes them that? Since she’s not as active anymore but she really doesn’t owe anybody shit but out of the newfound kindness of her heart...she does

Believes she got Covid before they all decided to do a shut down/lockdown of restaurants, bars, etc.. and her suspicions were proven correct after she decided to get tested

her anthem? Kali Uchis — Dead to me (acoustic version)

#litg #litg allegra #litg headcanons #litg headcanon #litg moodboard #litg mason #litg Tim #litg jake #litg jen #litg erikah #litg mc #litg oc #had to make to drama filled since s1 did us right along with s2 #I do feel like Allegra bettered? herself after the show and stand by that #I still laugh when I see her character in my head and the fact that someone said she looks like the bride of chucky #anyways I like giving people the benefit of the doubt and I think ppl like her better than Lucy? lmao so this is for y’all allegra stans #decided to give s3 a break and play s1 again hope that’s cool lol #also no longer doing celeb crush/music choices anymore cause I’ve run out? lol alright bye!

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rae-arts777 · 3 years

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I want to talk about my religious trauma

I just want to tell my story, I know mine is minor, I know there’s worst out there, but I’m hoping maybe mine cause reach out to anyone experiencing the same so they feel less alone

Let’s start way back

Edit: (sorry I should have put this earlier) TW: slight sexual assault, self harm, suicide mention

Growing up a christian adventist, I knew Friday night to Saturday was worship. No electronics or TV unless it was veggie tales, or a Bible cartoon, and church Saturday.

Of course I acted out a bit, and would get scolded for not staying still. My mother however wasn’t upset at me for ruining church, just upset I wasn’t behaving and granted don’t blame her cause I was a brat lol. I would get in more trouble if I went with my grandma. I was “disrespecting the lord in his house” and well...I mean it’s hard for a child to sit still for 8 hours wearing a dress and shoes that made me itchy and gave me blisters

Now church was fun in some sense. Got to see my friends, food after services, I loved being able to help in the kitchen and help the elders as well.

Good right?

Well...as a child, we think what we know if right. I thought the way we had church was common to everyone. When I started school, it was different for me. I asked “why do my friends go to church on Sunday?” My grandma told me “they just don’t know the proper way, it’s your duty to tell them”

I remember...being really horrible towards a kid who’s family was an atheist. We were still friends, but I will tell him “you’re trusting the devil”. My words never seem to hurt him since he laughed them off, but I never stopped...I look back and have so much guilt. So much guilt towards others too since I tried to tell them church was Saturday’s, and going on Sunday was wrong. I think about how horrible I was, cause my religion never taught me to be accepting to others beliefs, it taught me that it’s my duty to turn others to the right way. And that makes me upset. If my religion was the religion of “accepting everyone no matter what” then why is every one else’s religion the work of the devil? And why are baptism, also who was Christians, deem “evil” like Catholics in our religion.

Middle school. I started attending the church school. Hell

I didn’t like our new pastor, something about the way he said things just...didn’t stick. His kids were a nightmare. They torment everyone. Got teachers fired they didn’t like. And went crying to their parents if they didn’t get their way. No they were not toddlers. They were teens. One got in between my old best friend and I, and since then her and I were never the same.

Because I liked art and anime...I was the weird kid, so they constantly picked on me. Pastor kids telling me certain kids here didn’t deserve to be made by god. That god made a mistake. I told them to stop, but they would go “you just don’t know. It’s hard for us!!! We don’t mean what we say!” And looking and writing this now, that was the first gaslighting and toxic friendships I experience.

It made me more mad the pastor told the whole church that his kids were perfect children. And they set an example of how all the kids in the church could act. That pastor family was just horrible. Lies, manipulation, just rude. He would make side remarks about my mum’s blonde dye hair. He would say something to my mum if I wore pants or a leather jacket to church. Just the way he said things, made my mum feel like she was a horrible parent. They made side comments when my dad would finally show up.

“I’m sorry my dad wasn’t constantly gone, he’s was too busy fighting for our country.” Is what they would want us to say.

Church become a chore. Not a joy. And when we got a new pastor, one I started to connect with, we moved away and in with my grandma

Now highschool. This is where I started drifting away from religion. I love my grandma..I really do ...but she’s so extreme. The Bible this. The Bible that. I can’t have a normal conversation without her being up the Bible. Can’t watch a movie, show, or listen to music that’s not Christian without her bringing up the Bible or turning it into a Bible lesson. I hated going to church. I hated hearing “repent. The world is ending soon”

Hearing constant that our young generation is filled with the devil, feeling all the eyes of the elders on me as I’m trying to comfort someone’s child so they can enjoy church peacefully

Hearing anyone experiencing love towards the same gender is the devil’s working

That everything I like is filled with the devil

My grandma start forcing religion worst and worst down my throat. Saying I have to be prepare. I need to make my choice. Don’t I want to be in heaven with everyone? I need to give myself to god

I won’t see my family members who passed away Catholic.

That I need to tell my other side of the family who’s Catholic the right way

The news comes on....hearing the Bible says this the Bible says that

Trying to defend trump with the Bible

This pandemic is the first plague, the world will end soon

The studies getting more and more. I can’t even read the Bible just to study out of joy cause I feel like someone is breathing down my neck.

I’m getting a headache just thinking about it.

And then I’m introduce the rotten apples of my religion.

We shouldn’t wear mask it’s God’s air

Only having faith is god will keep you from getting sick and heal you

Ever remember of LGBT is going to hell

Woman who abortion are going to hell

People will tattoos go to hell

People who don’t read the Bible everyday are going to hell

People who want to make this religion more open and accepting, are hearing the devil and are going to hell

People who kill themselves are going to hell

Mental illness isn’t real; it’s just the devil and you just have to be happy cause you have god.

I told my mom I can’t do it anymore, I just can’t, it’s more forced down on me too much. If the world is ending what’s the point? What’s the point of college? What’s the point of life? What’s the point of looking for love?! Cause I’ve been told so many times my own children won’t ever get to adult or teen hood cause the world will end! What’s the point. I’m so grateful to have a mother who understands..

And it pisses me out with these Christian movies. A boy is about to kill himself, and is getting told “you’ll go to hell! You really want that?! To go to hell?!” Why are you showing this?! That’s a last thing a suicidal person needs to hear. They don’t need a fucking Bible lesson, they need comfort!!! As a person who’s tried drowning, choking, and harming themselves, I fucking know I wouldn’t want someone to find me and say “you’re going to hell for that!”

And then you have those horrible people who think just cause they are religious that it gives them a right to be a shitty person. My grandma would fucking forgive a murder if they came out as Christian.

I told my grandma once “I do want to be more involved with the church, I want to give a sermon” and she told me “you can give a small one, not a full one, god did not use women to preach, he used men. I rather you do the children’s story”

.......

The Vice President...some Christians hate her cause “god didn’t intend for women to lead, if he did his apostles would have been women”

my grandma says “she slept her way to the top!” But oh! She didn’t mind if trump, a man who’s assaulted god knows how many women was in office...

Forgive everyone....you’re suppose to forgive abusers..my bullies....I was told to forgive them even if they never said sorry..cause god wants us to forgive

I allowed..a boy to convince me to do things...cause men always knew what was right...it was ok as long as we didn’t have sex...and it was ok...cause he was a Christian boy...

I just try to be a good human...I have sickenly forgave so many people who’ve hurt me....and now...I’m the pushover...

But what I did was wrong...

I’ve just....drifted away slowly...my grandma has sort of stop trying, maybe cause I’m an adult so I can make my own choices..maybe my mum told her something...

But the things she says makes me feel ashame for being Christian....

For the longest time I thought we were perfect people...now that I’m older...I see we’re just as bad..if not worst...

It makes me so sick...just thinking..how I forgave people who HURT ME cause ...if I can’t forgive, then God doesnt want me.

If god really wants all of his “children” then why if it when we says “I don’t want to forgive the person who gave me this trauma” then it’s “i forgave you why can’t you forgive them? It’s so simple, you really can’t do something that simple? Guess you don’t want to go to heaven”

I’m so done

I’m so tired..

I have a headache and started crying a bit while writing this and there’s so much more. But my wrist hurts and just...I want to scream.

But for the majority...that’s my religious trauma.

I’m not hoping to gain anything, just to reach to anyone else who’s going through the same emotions...you’re not alone ok?

#talk #Rae talks #serious talk #religious trauma #that’s my story #ex christian

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twistytwine · 4 years

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Horror!AU Deleted Scenes: Victoria’s Thorn Dissection

A scene in the original draft of the Horror!AU, featuring a removed scene from Victoria’s chapter.

Trigger warnings: Lots of gore, blood, body horror, swearing, Victoria is also literally just 15 years old and she goes through a lot of pain

Susan brought Victoria out of her bedroom and onto one of the many couches of the apartment. Victoria was whimpering, tears prickling at the edges of her eyes and fear swarming like seeds in her chest. Gently, the mercenary began dabbing a cloth to soak up the blood, which had stopped bubbling from the torn bumps.

Pim was at her side as well. She had originally planned to visit by gifting her friend some pretty pink tulips that she had stored so delicately in a pretty little bag. But now, she had put the bag aside, and now she was doing her best to contain her worry and concern for Victoria. Her lips felt dry and her fists were clenched. She didn’t understand what was going on. Nobody did. Not even Susan.

“I’m sorry,” she muttered, a hand carefully placed on Victoria’s shoulder. “I should have been here sooner.”

“I-It’s-- It’s okay,” the plant mage stammered back, gulping and shaking. “You wouldn’t… wouldn’t have buh-been able to stop it, anyway.”

Susan’s breathing had gotten a bit heavier, and her hands were flimsy as she tried to keep them steady. Her green eyes were wide and on edge. Then she let out a nervous laugh. “You’ll be fine. You’ll be okay. Even when… I wasn’t here to watch over you and instead I let you watch a stupid movie like the stupid person I am instead of trying to use AI for something else like figuring out what the hell is wrong with you!!”

“N-No, you’re…”

“Oh my god. I’m such a shitty parent, I--”

“You’re not, Sue,” Pim told her, her own voice shaking. “None of us knows what’s going on. It’s nobody’s fault.”

Susan hissed a breath through her teeth. “Alright. Fine. It’s nobody’s fault. But if it were to be anybody’s fault, it would be mine.”

Victoria shook her head, tears beginning to squeeze from her eyes. “Pl-Please stop…”

There was a sense of motherly shame in Susan’s eyes as she continued to wipe the blood from the girl’s arms and legs. Victoria was twitching, wincing, trying to stay still, for any movement would just make the entire situation worse. Whatever was happening to her, it seemed to be more painful than Jared’s disease.

When all the blood was cleaned, Susan threw the rag on the ground and tugged on the roots of her hair. “First I had Jared sick and now I have this. This is just great. And I don’t know how to solve it.”

Pim stared at the thorns sprouted out of Victoria’s skin, brow furrowing as she chewed on her lip. A plant mage. Thorns came from plants.

“Do you believe that it is possible that this has to do with her plant magic?” she asked.

Susan exhaled, running her hands frantically through her hair. “I mean, sure, I guess, sure. Sure. Whatever. All of this crazy stuff is coming from her magic. How the hell would we stop that?”

“By having her not use her plant magic until we find a solution.”

Susan’s mouth clenched. Her hands were fidgeting wildly at her sides. “Right. Yeah. I’m stupid right now and I can’t think. I’m sorry.” Her forehead was sweaty. “I-- I can’t focus right now.”

“It’s okay,” Pim reassured her, honestly feeling similar to her. “Take a few deep breaths. Nothing worse is happening right now. We...just have to figure out what’s going on.”

“Okay, okay, I-- you know what? It’s going to take me a hell of a long time to calm down--”

“It won’t--”

“--I’m going to get Dr. fucking Dremash in here. He knows much more about magic than I do and I’m not gonna waste everybody’s time just standing here.” Susan felt ashamed to want help from such a snobby, annoying, irritable man, but this was just a last resort. If anybody knew about magic the most in this damn kingdom, it would be Aemilius.

Susan was gone before Pim could call after her to stay calm and that Dr. Dremash’s would be very ticked off to be distracted from his work, but then she realized that it was probably best to have his help; he was most likely going to have a lot of questions, after all, and when he had questions, they were always answered.

His complaining was already heard from outside the door as Susan tugged him into the chamber forcefully by the sleeve of his lab coat. “You are frustrating!” he was exclaiming to her. “There is no need to be such a disrespectful, impulsive degenerate towards me of all people you--”

“Shut up!” Susan shot back at him. “I brought you here for a reason! Look at her!”

As her hands launched out in Victoria’s direction, Aemilius’ eyes followed, lingering on the poor girl. That sense of dread from before came over him, sending a shiver down his spine. Then he gnashed his teeth, huffing. Here we go again, he thought to himself in both anticipation and annoyance.

“And what is it that you want me to do?” he gritted, glaring pointedly at Susan. “Figure this out, I assume?”

“Obviously! I can’t focus at all and I need you to solve this for me!”

“That doesn’t--” He growled angrily, grumbling.

“We really do need your help, Dr. Dremash,” Pim politely told him, doing her uttermost to contain her panic. “We really do. I do not think a normal medical doctor would be able to solve this.”

Did his expression soften? Possibly. If it did, it most likely wasn’t because he felt guilty for his attitude -- that would be one of the last things on the list. Instead, Pim’s words gave him a boost of confidence. There were rare times when his ego came in handy, and one of those rare occasions was at this moment. Yes, he realized, a normal medical doctor wouldn’t be able to solve this. I am an alchemist. The royal alchemist. I can solve this.

“Well…” he began, ambling cautiously towards Victoria, “thorns are protruding out of her skin, are they not? It must… have to do with her plant magic.”

“That is what I thought, too,” Pim commented.

“I was-- I was bleeding a lot,” Victoria stammered nervously. “The blood was bubbling.”

“Your blood was bubbling,” he repeated. “That is extremely absurd. Bubbling blood should not come out of such rashes.”

“No fucking shit,” Susan spat, in which Aemilius glared at her once more.

“It’s similar to an infection, perhaps,” he continued, looking at a safe distance at the thorns. “Sometimes, you must remove something inside of your body to stop the infection. Like a parasite. Perhaps if we remove these thorns, it will stop the rash and pain. We cannot just let the thorns stay there, after all.”

Victoria’s teary eyes widened, and she bit her lip. “B-But… B-But isn’t that gonna hurt?”

“Yes,” Aemilius slowly said. “But I’m sure that if we were to take you to a medical doctor, they would suggest the same exact thing.” He looked at Susan. “Now, where are your tools?”

“What the hell are you suggesting?” she retorted.

“We pull the thorns out of her skin.”

Susan immediately darted forward. “What?! No!! You can’t just come here and declare that you’re going to randomly do that shit! You have no idea what that’s going to do to her!!”

“Then what do you suggest?” Aemilius sneered.

“How about we wait until we know what’s actually wrong and exactly how to solve it?”

“Oh, please. What do you want? To take her to a medical doctor? Nobody could figure out the reason for her rash, so how would there be a proper treatment for thorns coming out of her skin? We must take them out.”

As Victoria began to squirm and cry, Pim gently and protectively wrapped her arms around her shoulders, cooing to her to relax and that she was going to be okay. Deep down, a seed of doubt was planted into her chest and was beginning to sprout into a flower of fear.

Susan didn’t want to let her guard down so quickly, especially when up against Dr. Dremash. That maternal feeling in her gut sharpened. “You will not be doing that to Tori,” she snapped.

“Then what else do you suppose we could do?” Aemilius snarked, crossing his arms and sighing. “Wait it out?”

Susan clenched her mouth before crossing her arms to match the alchemist’s challenging stance. “Yes. We wait it out. We see if it gets worse or not.”

“And then…?”

“And… And then we’ll all decide whether we should take the thorns out or not.”

“Fine.”

And so they waited. After Victoria managed to explain that the thorns had come out after she used plant magic on the succulent on her nightstand, it was uncomfortably quiet, save for her heart pounding in her ears. Her limbs were racking with pain, and every time she tried to move, she stifled a pained whimper and curled up. Pim stared at the thorns. She wondered if it was made out of the bones in Victoria’s body. She had reached out a hand to try and touch the thorns, but she stopped herself for Victoria’s sake.

Susan was nervously fidgeting with the miniature version of AI, allowing the device to scan Victoria’s body. Pim’s question was answered when certain parts of the screen were highlighted in green to separate the bones from other material. The thorns were highlighted, and they seemed to be coming deep from within Victoria’s arms and legs, twisting around the bones.

A shaking hand went through Susan’s hair. “Oh, baby, I’m so sorry,” she whispered shakily to Victoria. She swallowed. “I don’t understand how that even happens.”

“It has to do with her magic,” Aemilius muttered.

“We already know that, shithead!” Susan snapped. “Stop pointing out the obvious!”

“I think we should all take some time to calm down,” Pim suggested.

“Y-Yeah,” Victoria squeaked, holding tightly onto Pim. “Calm...Calm down.”

Susan sucked in a sharp breath and held it before exhaling, bringing her shaking hands to her messy brown hair. “Right,” she said. “Right. Calm down. Relax. Everything’s going to be okay.”

She sat down onto one of the sofas, massaging her temples and continue to take deep breaths. For the next minute or two, Aemilius simply glared at her, already ticked off by her moodiness and feeling that she was being far too impulsive to be acting like this. The only issue with that was that he didn’t understand her parental instincts and how out of control they could get; Aemilius himself didn’t have any parental instincts to be brought up quite yet. He was just an alchemist who wanted to mind his own business for now.

Sighing quietly, he muttered once more, “It has to do with her magic. Studies have shown before that an extreme and constant overuse and push of magical energy can harm a mage. There are several cases in the past that have shown a mage suffering the after effect, but the result doesn’t exactly match up with what is happening with Victoria right now.”

“What were the cases?” Pim asked curiously.

Aemilius paused. He looked up. “The mages would explode gruesomely.”

Victoria flinched, and immediately her eyes began darting back and forth to the people in the room. “Th-That’s not gonna h-happen to me, right?”

Susan shook her head, giving her a weak smile. “No, no, of course not! You’ll be okay.”

“She will not explode,” Aemilius mused. “But since she said that the thorns came out after she used her plant magic, I can conclude that the use of it is what’s causing her to have these botanical changes. It would be best to keep her away from any source of plants, trees, nature, everything in the outside world.”

They were all stunned. Aemilius let the silence flow before he stood up, looking at Susan. “Where are your tools?” he asked.

“You’re not getting them,” she growled.

“May I use AI?”

“No.”

“Fine, then. I’ll use my own methods.”

Aemilius then reached into his pocket and pulled out a knife.

That was already alarming enough. Susan yelped and dashed forward, tightly gripping Aemilius’ wrists. He clenched his teeth as she pinned him against the wall, suddenly slipping the knife out of his hands and held it up against his throat. “Don’t you dare,” she snarled at him.

Pim jumped up, yelling, “Sue, what are you doing?!”

“I’m teaching him to stay the hell away from Tori!”

“You’re going to hurt him!”

“And he’s going to hurt Tori!”

Aemilius could only choke out the few words without getting cut by his own knife. “Let me-- do-- what I need to do--”

“Shut up,” Susan snarled. “You are--”

“G-Guys,” Victoria squeaked, “i-it’s getting worse…”

All three of them turned to the girl on the couch. She was shivering. On the rashes on her body, an unhealthy, almost rotten-green color began to spread around the patches. A foul, egg-like smell emitted from them.

Susan gawked. Then she heard Aemilius croak, “Let me-- do it--”

She continued to hold him there for a few more moments before letting him go, giving him back his knife and muttering threateningly, “Be careful.”

He rubbed his throat with a hand, not taking his wide eyes off of her. Then, he cautiously made his way over to Victoria. This would be better if she would allow me to use her tools, he thought to himself.

Victoria shook with fear, biting down on her lip. Pim held onto her hand tightly. “It’s going to be okay,” she whispered to her. “Just stay still, it’s okay.”

“N-No…”

“It’s going to be okay.” Pim’s hands were sweaty. “Here, you can bite down on your cloak.” She brought up the collar of Victoria’s cloak to her mouth. Victoria bit down hesitantly, beginning to shake with sobs.

“Shh, shh, Tori, it’s okay…” Pim’s voice was wavering. “It’ll be over before you know it.”

Aemilius approached the two carefully. He knelt down. Susan had given him a small bucket to put the thorns in when they were taken out. His stern blue eyes looked straight at Victoria, and he gestured to her calmly. “Stay as still as you can,” he instructed calmly but tensely. “Something could go wrong if you move.”

Victoria nodded, fat tears dribbling down her face. She sniffled. Susan was on the other end of the couch, glaring with barely contained fury at Aemilius.

His gloved hands slowly approached one of her legs. Cautiously and gently, he pressed one of his fingers against one of the thorns. Victoria winced. Aemilius then pressed the blade of his knife on the other side of the thorn so that he was trapping it in his grasp.

He began to pull slowly. Victoria tensed up, whining as her watery eyes squeezed shut. The thorn shifted only slightly. Even Aemilius himself winced. Blood was beginning to crawl around the thorn, forming a red ring.

Aemilius tried to pull the thorn out, but it seemed like it needed a lot more force.

“Okay,” he exhaled. “I am going to count to three. Alright? Stay still. One, two… three!”

He tugged the thorn out. Blood splattered from the tiny wound as Victoria screamed, sobbing. A long stem was connected to the thorn, caked in red. Aemilius cringed as he pulled the stem all the way until it was completely out. He gave it a look of disgust before plopping it into the bucket.

“You bastard!” Susan shrieked. “You said you’d be careful!”

“It wouldn’t budge!” he shouted back. “I needed to add a little bit of force!”

Victoria was crying loudly against Pim, sniffling and sobbing and whining. Pim did her best to comfort her by wiping her tears and whispering little words of affection. She couldn’t prevent an inch of anger at Aemilius from growing into her; hearing Victoria cry and wail was one of the worst things that she had heard.

“I--” Aemilius swallowed, looking at the two girls and avoiding Susan’s gaze. “I believe AI showed that not all of the thorns had long stems like that.”

“Oh, shut it!” Susan snapped. “There is no fucking way you’re going to continue doing this to her!!”

“Surgeons would’ve done the same!”

“When she was asleep and numbed!!” Susan began to tug at her hair. “Ohh god, why the hell did I let this happen?”

“E-Everybody calm down,” Pim tried to reassure them all. She felt like a rope in a tug of war, struggling to keep Victoria tied down safely while Aemilius and Susan were attempting to pull at opposite ends. “I agree with Susan. I think that this should stop.”

“Oh please,” Aemilius barked, “if anything, I think her wild bickering should stop!”

“Say that again and you won’t have any ears to hear my bickering!!” Susan shot back.

“Both of you aren’t making this situation any better!” Pim yelled, frustration fueling her. Victoria’s sobs and cries continued to ring in her ears. “Just stop!! Victoria’s upset because of you two!”

The two of them paused, and they turned to take a good look at Victoria. She was quivering violently in Pim’s arms. Grossly sobbing, she laid her head against the ice mage’s chest, squeezing her eyes shut. Susan’s expression softened. Aemilius’ expression stiffened and he crossed his arms, turning his back from the group.

“I’m sorry, Tori,” Susan cooed. “It’s okay. He’s not gonna pull out any more thorns.”

“I...It hurts,” she whispered.

Susan looked like she had just gotten struck in the heart. She came over to Victoria and outstretched a hand before thinking better of it. She averted her gaze. “I’ll get...stuff. To clean up the blood.”

Aemilius stayed put, wishing that he had fought Susan off somehow before he ended up here.

#horror!au deleted scenes #long post #blood tw #injury tw #gore tw #body horror tw #ask to tag #twisty's writing #i kinda wish i kept this scene in #or some variation #because tori's chapter imo was missing some spooky disturbing parts

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the-cookie-of-doom · 5 years

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Lmfao look @ this embarrassing display of pathological jealousy & butthurt right here https://liliaeth.tumblr.com/post/185660274761/i-will-never-get-over-how-the-teen-wolf-fandom

https://russianspacegeckosexparty.tumblr.com/post/185660318562/i-will-never-get-over-how-the-teen-wolf-fandom

https://princeescaluswords.tumblr.com/post/185660625460/i-will-never-get-over-how-the-teen-wolf-fandom

DELUSIONAL #1: I will never get over how the Teen Wolf fandom treated Scott McCall. He is the literal protagonist of the show (he’s the teen wolf!!) but the fandom looked at him and went : “you know what would be even better? His boring white best friend. We’re gonna make him the main character”.

If you knew nothing about Teen Wolf except for what you would find on Tumblr, you would assume that Stiles is the protagonist. He gets the metas, the thousands of fics dedicated to him and his family and his angst. He gets the most popular ship, he gets all the people defending him and actions.

Meanwhile, Scott gets treated like dirt. He’s villainized, he’s dumbed down, he gets ignored.

Scott McCall deserves better 2kforever, and if any Stiles fans try to argue you’re getting blocked.

DELUSIONAL #2: I never knew how much I hated the color taupe (lbr, I didn’t even KNOW what the color taupe was) until every fucking where you turned in fandom was an ode to Stiles’ whiskey-taupe colored eyes.

DELUSIONAL #3: Let’s be completely fair here, Jeff Davis said multiple times both in interviews and in Dir. Commentary that he liked Stiles the most, identified with him the most, and poured the most into that character. The Fandom got bored with Scott because well, Jeff kind of wanted us to. /he/ was bored with Scott.

It’s only on my most recent re-watch that I’m falling in love with Scott. His heart I used to chalk up to “boring Lawful Good”, his loyalty as well. And to be fair, Tumblr was going through kind of a “Sherlock” phase where being super smart and talking fast and making doe eyes at another boy made you automatically the most likeable no matter how uninteresting you are.

None of this excuses treating Scott poorly. He’s the definition of “best boy”, he’s the soft gooey center that pulls this overly dramatic teen drama together! But it might at least explain it.

DELUSIONAL #2: Yeah, except that doesn’t track for a number of reasons. Firstly, the show itself WAS focused around Scott the first two and a half seasons. Sure, Stiles still had his ‘scene stealing moments’ or whatever, but the plot, the character arcs, the themes - they were very clearly focused around Scott and his story up through the end of 3A.

That never stopped fandom from being shitty as hell to Scott from like, the very first episodes. So Davis’ investment or lack thereof in Scott is not connected to how much or how little shit fandom shoveled Scott’s way.

Secondly, fandom is extremely vocal about hating Davis and his choices like….across the board. Even when he poured EVERYTHING into Stiles’ character and story to the exclusion and detriment of the main character, it still wasn’t enough for fandom as it wasn’t HOW they wanted everything focused on Stiles, he wasn’t with the right love interest, he wasn’t kicking ass in the right way, he wasn’t a spark, etc, etc. Fandom never ever took their lead from Davis and his story and character directions, and they were never shy about saying so.

I have a lot of criticisms for and of Davis, like a looooooooot, but there’s no spreading the blame around here.

Fandom’s treatment of Scott is on fandom and no one else. They never wanted the quiet kind-hearted Latino boy as the lead, they wanted him supporting their two white faves instead of ‘stealing focus’, and no amount of focus and nothing Scott actually did or didn’t do was ever going to change that!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wow. Looks like Tyler Posey is not the only one who’s unhealthily obsessed with Dylan O’Brien (and with Stiles Stilinski, too, since TP feels the need to bring Stiles up in every single fucking interview and keeps whining about how Sciles should have been the most popular ship of Teen Wolf, or about how he wants to see more Scott/Stiles stuff like a whiny, entitled manchild) https://poseysprostate.tumblr.com/post/183385569523/i-think-the-stiles-and-scott-shippers-or-anyone

https://blamscilesswanqueenforever.tumblr.com/post/183424757827/hobrien-will-teen-wolf-fans-like-now

Also, nah. Scott McCall is a bland, boring, uninteresting, shitty excuse of a badly written and portrayed fictional character with no development whatsoever, therefore no one owes him nor Tyler ”shipping non canon ships is incredibly offensive and disrespectful towards the writers, producers, and everyone involved in *MY* show unless said non canon ships involve *MY* character Scott McCall” Posey anything.

No one’s fault even Peter Hale’s Shelby Cobras are canonically more complex, relevant and interesting than true petty dictator wannabe with delusions of grandeur Scoot McBelowAverageIdiot could ever hope to be, delusionals! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Cookie: Shit like this makes me very glad I was not involved with the fandom in its heyday. I remember when I joined tumblr in like 2013? 2014?? Everyone kept going off and ranting about how the fandom was so racist and horrible and abusive to main character and blah blah blah, so I wisely chose to just stay away from Teen Wolf. (Literally didn’t even watch it until the show ended two years ago and I started seeing promos for Maze Runner: TDC and realized I never saw Scorch Trials and was like ‘oh hey! I recognize that dude!) I was very pleasantly surprised to find that the fandom as a whole is actually pretty great.

As for all of that mess up there, whoo, I hope they stretched before all that reaching! Literally the only people that concerned with race in this fandom are the delusionals. Sorry babes, but an ethnically ambiguous (and proud of it!) actor playing a character who alludes to being Latino one time like 3 seaons into the show does not representation make! What’s more, no one is required to like a character purely based on your head canon of their race, and disliking that character based on many factors (that don’t even touch what Scott McCall’s race may or may not be) does not make any of us racist. Funny enough, Most of us actually adored Boyd, and Danny, and Kira, and Mason, and everyone else on this show who’s race wasn’t ambiguous. Why? Because those characters were actually fun and interesting. Scott McCall? Not so much.

And I have no idea what part of fandom they are in that Scott is the most poor abuse puppy ever and everyone hates him like, what? I love fanon Scott, and I mean that unironically. In fandom I often see him written exactly as the kind of character they wish he was; kind, empathetic, a good friend, and a good boyfriend. When they rant and rave about how Scott is portrayed as dumbed down or villainized, I can’t help but wonder... are they talking about, *gasp* canon Scott? Because I’m sorry, but canon does not support their idealized view of him. Which is okay! That’s what fandom is for!

A few weeks ago i got a really shitty comment on a fic I wrote like a year ago, and this person complained (for an exhaustive amount of paragraphs) that I didn’t write the characters to their specific tastes, and that I had to be sympathetic with their predicament because you see, they cannot write. Therefore I must do it for them, or pay the consequences.

That is the same time I am getting from this, about Stiles getting all the meta and such. Like, do they understand why Stiles gets the meta? Because people write it! No one is stopping the delusionals from writing meta about Scott, in fact I would encourage it. Be the change you want to see in the world. (Although fair warning, I have read their metas and they seem to somehow always end up revolving around Stiles in some way. Who is it that’s obsessed with him, again?) Instead of spending all their time complaining, they could be writing all they physically could about Scott, creating content that portrays him in the way they want to see him portrayed. But they don’t. Because then what would they complain about?

#fandom discourse #submission

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sports-and-fandoms · 7 years

Text

Dark interruptions {James T Kirk x reader}

Hey guys! Sorry for the lack of update on this story, I’ve been extremely busy. Anyway, here’s the third part of “Not Mine To Hold”. If you have no clue as to what I’m talking about, please read the previous parts. Btw, I watched Wonder Woman today. Finally! I LOVED Gal Gadot. The movie was so good. I might be biased, but I think Steve Trevor is the most precious person in the world. Like, Chris did a fabulous job as Steve. Also, I think that anyone named Steve should be kept away from planes that contain bombs. I can’t deal with similar incidents! ONE TIME WAS ENOUGH!

Warning: A few curse words, like shit and ass, nothing major… angst maybe?

Words: 1135 words

Part 1 Part 2

Back to the reader’s point of view. Happy reading!! Btw, so many references! Kudos if you can find all of them. Some aren't obvious. Some are. Good luck!

Words had such power. When ever someone got hurt, they would blame the situation or a person, never the words that were uttered. Some words could wreck lives some could break a person’s spirit.

Today, words had almost broken you. Words said three years ago were long forgotten but left a bitter aftertaste. Words could be poisonous and destructive.

People always forgot the power of words until they were addressed towards them. Until they actually sank in.

All day, today, you kept telling yourself that things couldn’t possible be any worse. The man that had been your best friend for over two decades, the man you were madly in love with, was ignoring you and marrying another woman. Worst of all, you were given a front row seat as you watched everything you ever wanted being handed to another. And let’s not forget the smile you had to plaster on your face so that people wouldn’t get suspicious.

Yet again, the Universe hated you. Karma was a piece of shit and your life was the pièce de résistance in a world of utter despair. You were sure that someone, somewhere was looking down upon you and laughing their ass off over the misery that was your life. And so, to make it more miserable, the message had come through.

The only possible thing that could have made this whole situation all the more shitty.

As you sat in a shuttle heading back to San Francisco, the words kept ringing in your mind. Over and over again.

Now see, someone like you only had a couple of things that made you happy. Friends (mainly your best friend), family, your job and your dog, Merlin. You called him Merl or Merli for short. He was a beautiful black Labrador that had befriended your neighbour’s golden retriever, that reminded you eerily of Arthur Pendragon. And so, the name. It was ADORABLE!

{I REST MY CASE!}

From these limited amount of things, you could check off best friend, Merlin was at your neighbour’s place playing chase my tail with Arty, and all your family was off planet. So the only thing you really had left was your job.

…

Until now.

The words “Explosion in lab, experiment compromised” were the last words you EVER wanted to hear or read in your entire life. An experiment that you had spent 3 years on, was gone. Woosh! Into thin air!

While for most, it wouldn’t have been a big issue, mishaps happened. For you, it was the end. This experiment had taken meticulous planning, preparation and a huge amount of money. It would save lives in the near future, and it was gone.

Things couldn’t possibly have gone worse. And that was the last straw that broke the dam.

So here you were, on a damn shuttle, crying at the mess your life was. You didn’t even know if someone had been injured or killed. Everything was a mess.

Two hours later.

San Francisco was a beautiful city. Even though it had been almost a decade since Khan’s attack, some of the damage was still being repaired. People were still reeling from the trauma brought from the entire incident.

Some people would never forget.

As you walked trough the streets leading to the Starfleet labs, you remembered. Because as much as you tried, you could never forget that day.

How could you forget the day when some of your closest friends were slaughtered by the hands of a psychopath? {A.N: Or High-functioning sociopath… sorry, couldn’t resist :/ } How could you forget the moment you received the news of Pike’s death?

How you wished to forget. To forget the broken look in Jim’s eyes. The tears shed by the man you loved in grief of losing a second father. The dark night where neither of you slept, seeking comfort in each others arms. The night that was spent in silence, in memory of a dear friend.

You wished you could forget the unseeing blue eyes that sometimes still haunted your nightmares. You wished you could, one day, walk by the the warp core chamber without flinching or feeling dizzy.

The walk to the labs was spent in a daze, and then you saw it. Your precious lab. The lab that contained the antidotes to many illnesses. As you walked towards it, you saw them. Dead bodies laid on the ground, waiting to be brought to the hospital.

Oh God, you thought. So many lives lost. As you walked towards the security guard standing near the main door, your comm beeped.

“Y/L/N“

“Y/N, its Jemma.“

Jemma was one of the scientists that worked for you.

“Hey. I just got here. Are you okay? Where are you?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m near the water fountain, at the main entrance.“

“On my way. Y/L/N out.“

You sped walked until you reached Jemma.

“Oh my God, Jem, are you okay? What happened? Did you get checked by the EMTs?“

“Hey, Y/N. Calm down, I’m fine. Oh God, I was so close to the explosion. I don’t-I don’t know what happened. I just don’t know.”

You were about to reply when you saw Admiral Baker walk towards you.

“Commander Y/L/N, Lieutenant Simmons.“

“Admiral“, you both replied.

You spoke first.

“Sir, do you know what happened here?“

“You tell me Doctor.“

“Pardon me, but what exactly are you implying, Sir?”

“Dr. Y/L/N, it is clear to me that this explosion was a lab mistake.“

“I assure you Admiral, none of my people broke protocol. My lab is like my house, I spend days and night here, working and so does every single person that works for me. I have full faith in my scientists, they will never endanger the lives of others, and above all, they would never compromise our years worth of hard work.“

“Doctor, I mean no disrespect but-“

“Pardon me Admiral, but I do not think we should jump to any conclusions until we get a full report from forensics.“

“Very well. Doctors.“

With a nod and a slight glare in your direction, the Admiral turned around and left.

One hour later.

7:20 pm.

You were approached by the lead forensic scientist assigned to the incident.

“Are you Doctor Y/L/N?“

“Yes.“

“My name is Melanie Stabler. I’m here to brief you on our conclusion. The Admirals have been briefed already so now it is your turn. We believe that this incident was no accident. According to our findings, an explosive device was set to detonate in the L-25 wing, your lab. We believe that the device was most likely placed in room L-102, meani-“

Your comm beeped again, interrupting her mid sentence.

You gestured for her to hold on a second.

“Y/L/N.“

“Y/N, its Jim. I-“

Another explosion rang out, and everything went black.

To be continued.

I feel like such a Steven Moffat right now. Damn cliffhangers, I can’t stop! Sorry, this part didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to. I hope you guys liked it. I LOVE reading the comments and reblog tags. So please comment and write funny stuff so that it gives me motivation to write more. Until next week, folks!

TAGS:

I believe this is the complete tag list, somehow Tumblr keeps deleting my final list… If I forgot to tag you, send me a message.

@wonders-of-the-enterprise @samaxraph99 @saveatruckrideoptimusprime@curiosity-killed-the-speedster @yourtropegirl @engineeringtrashcan @a-mermaid-in-space @goingknowherewastaken @eufeme @hayleynightcore @avengersgirllorianna

#James T. Kirk #james t kirk x reader #james t kirk fanfiction #Jim Kirk #jim kirk oc #jim kirk fanfiction #jim kirk x reader #star trek #Star Trek Fanfiction #uss enterprise #not mine to hold #part 3

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lehighinghana2018-blog · 5 years

Text

‘Akwaaba’ Means ‘Welcome’

This is a repost of an entry submitted July 2018. The entry was deleted in late 2018. Since that time the author has revised the entry and has made certain changes to better reflect her time in Ghana.

This trip has been an eye-opening experience, a constant rechecking of privilege and individual place on this world.

As a Global Studies and International Relations major, I’ve been learning and studying the dynamics of our increasingly globalizing ties since day one at Lehigh. My priority is to understand and to be critical of the ever increasing political, economic, social, religious, and cultural movements that occur within our world and the intersections that arise within these dynamics. However, no amount of reading, studying, and analyzing reports will ever come close to what is experiencing these ties coming together in a developing nation.

But it just isn’t coming to Ghana where all the learning is supposed to happen. It’s with the people you’re experiencing it with. Coming from all kinds of backgrounds, majors, lifestyles, and perspectives, each individual within this program comes with a set of different opinions that make Lehigh in Ghana a rich experience, something that one will never forget in their own lifetime.

So here are six helpful tips to guide you along this program, if you plan on visiting Ghana with Lehigh sometime in the future:

Tip 1: Be understanding and critical—but do not impose

You’ve decided to come to Ghana to experience firsthand what is like to live in a developing nation. If you come with an open mind—that’s great! It’s what is needed. With an open mind, you’ll be able to learn and be critical of very sensitive topics, such as religion, LGBT+ lives in Ghana and Africa, and the shitty Structural Adjustment Programs that have ruined Africa’s economic prosperity through both your own perspective (American-educated, liberal, conservative, whatever it is that you think), and through the Ghanaian lecturer’s perspective. You’ll be critical about the lack of rights for certain members of the community, but also understanding that this has happened over the course of colonial and post-colonial history and that such changes and acceptance will come from Ghanaian grassroot movements and organizations. You will think of ways that you will want to help without imposing what so many have called “western ideals,” but rather become an ally to anyone in need.

If instead you come with a close mind, think that Ghanaians are backwards, mean, or uncivilized, or cannot understand historical ties and how it has influenced current political and/or social movements, this program is not for you. If you’re not willing to learn or to listen to personal experiences, and be critical of global financial and humanitarian efforts, then you coming to this program is a wasted experience.

So be critical, pick apart every lecture, but make sure that you’re learning throughout this process. But make sure—and I cannot emphasize this enough—that you are actively listening instead of critiquing and thinking your own views are the best.

Tip 2: Check your privilege

First and foremost, you’re an American educated undergraduate student from Lehigh University, one of the best and most expensive private universities in America. That is your first and most prominent identity on this program. You’re here representing your school and its interests, which in this case, is to educate you all on Ghana’s healthcare system. This identity is the one that holds the most privilege while you’re here. Do not take advantage or misuse it by doing stupid things on this program both to yourself and others around you. Do not expect everyone around you (i.e. Ghanaians, workers) to treat you better simply because you’re educated and think that you can disrespect others because they lack the education you have.

Your second and third most prominent identities on this program are your race and gender. You must recognize these as they will determine how Ghanaians, and even others in your cohort, will behave with you. Recognize your white privilege and help out those that does not have it. Become aware of how they will treat you based on your gender as well and protect female-identifying people in your cohort.

Most importantly, Check. Your. Privilege. No matter what, if something were to happen while you’re abroad, Lehigh (and even the United States government in extreme cases) can come in and rescue you while leaving many others behind. Recognize that no matter what you are protected, and this is a privilege you must be aware of throughout your research process in Ghana. You may certainly feel ties to the local Ghanaians and “feel their struggles as working people” but no matter what, you’re a Lehigh student. Recognize this.

Tip 3: Don’t shame another person’s experience

We all come from different perspectives and life journeys. Some of us have had the chance of traveling abroad many times, some others may make Ghana their first abroad experience. Do not shame what others may or may not have gone through.

If someone is asking a question on this program, avoid rolling your eyes or making snarky comments on the side, even if the question is ignorant or imprudent. This is a learning experience FOR EVERYONE—open up your heart, ears, and mind, so that you can also learn from what others may not know. If you think you know everything you should probably recheck yourself. Lehigh in Ghana is supposed to be challenging, and if you don’t think you are being defied, then you probably need to recheck yourself.

Tip 4: Don’t assume—ASK

This comes from personal experience: Many people on my program were making vast assumptions about both the people in their cohort and the locals they interacted with on the daily basis. Some of them were funny—"Nah, she’s just tired”—while others were beyond ignorant—“Every lecture we have been attending is just cultural propaganda; this program is full of shit”—that made me so uncomfortable for the people being spoken about and our own professors. Do not assume things about others, but rather, take the experience as a learning opportunity. Instead of assuming that the person is tired, ask directly. Instead of assuming everything is cultural propaganda, ask the lecturer to explain further their point. Take every interaction you have with an open heart and open mind, and I will assure you your time in Ghana will be full of beautiful learning moments. You are not of the place you are not studying, do not assume things about the place you are studying. Learn. Grow.

Tip 5: Be careful with social media

Post pictures of yourself, of your friends, of the activities you’re engaging in, but avoid posting pictures of Ghanaians on your social media. Unless you have their direct permission, do not assume (this goes back to Tip #4) that the person wants their image online. Moreover, do not exploit the countrymen and women for likes and comments and “Awhs” on social media. It is wrong and a misuse of your own privilege.

Social media is tricky—you may want to add emphasis to a word or location, but many times your viewers, followers, or friends may get a different idea of what you are trying to convey. Be careful with social media.

Tip 6: Have a fun experience

Last, but certainly not least, have fun in Ghana. It is beyond a beautiful country. Its food, its people, its terrain… There is always something to enjoy about Ghana. Make friendships with people you come across with. Make connections to your left and right. Make sure you are connecting with your cohort as well.

It is okay to also feel sad and confused throughout this trip. There are many things you will see and experience that you wish you wouldn’t have. There are moments that you will experience that are tough to swallow. There are people you will want to help but won’t know how. There are places your feet will walk upon where you won’t feel comfortable. It is okay to reflect on these moments. It is okay to sit with your feelings and realize it may not be what you had expected from the moment you applied to this program. It happens...it is why connecting with your program peers is important, extremely important for you to have the best experience.

Ghana was a wonderful journey. Along with so many others in my cohort, I enjoyed getting to learn about Ghanaian healthcare and their culture, all while being understanding and critical of our global ties and manipulation from multinational corporations. Since this experience, I have reflected a lot about my own privilege and worldview. I need to go back to Ghana and continue to work towards a future in which their healthcare is improved vastly along with their development.

My name is Tanairy Ortiz and I graduated from Lehigh University in May 2019. From time to time, my trip to Ghana is reflected in my dreams and I can’t help but feel a sense of wanting to return to continue to learn and explore this beautiful country. Ghana, to this day, has been one of the most enriching experiences of my life. There will be a time when I will go back to Ghana…until then I will keep dreaming.

#LehighinGhana #2018 #LehighinGhana2018 #studyabroad #Lehigh #reflection #repost

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