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thefirstknife · 7 months

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The thing about the final lore tab is that, besides the fact that I'm devastated in ways I can't put into words, the way Saint was affected by this whole thing is unique.

This is obviously primarily Osiris' trauma that we can't really properly comprehend, but Osiris wasn't fully conscious for most of it. It fell to Saint to wait, and hope, that Osiris would be brought back and that he would wake up. There was no certainty for him there. And even before that, he watched "Osiris" being strange and distant and acting weird but obviously nobody could even begin to speculate that the person he interacted with wasn't Osiris at all, so the trauma went from there, from learning that he lost Sagira, then to the shock of Osiris being kidnapped and then the quest to bring him back and then him being brought back in a coma and then the 9 long months of waiting until he woke up.

The state of constant anxiety he experienced for almost 2 years total is nervewracking and gutwrenching. I don't think we can fully understand the impact of that on someone. And the best, or worst, thing is that Saint is infinitely patient. He is infinitely emotional and merciful and opts to be the better person and to wait and wait and wait. And hope that it can be fixed.

Except it can't. It can't be fixed. And not only can it not be fixed, but there will never be justice for it. It's impossible. There isn't a way to truly punish Savathun for what she's done. There is no relief or catharsis for Saint. While Osiris can mostly move on, Osiris did not really have to go through what Saint had to go through. Their traumas are different and Saint's is the type that no one can really understand and there is nothing he can do about it.

A younger Saint would've killed Immaru and then Savathun, 100%. But now he can't, because he isn't that person anymore. And yet, the grief and trauma remain and he has no outlet for them and nothing that can be done to enact any sort of justice. So he settles for pure rage, letting himself essentially vent that anger out, but still leave everyone alive. And there's really no true release here. He got a brief satisfaction of killing Savathun over and over, but at the end of the day, she will walk away and nothing will change and there will be no fix.

Which is why he comes back and just cries. As he said, this wasn't for Osiris, it was for him. It was his outlet for anger and nothing else. After that, there's nothing else left to do but cry. No one can really help him carry the burden of what he's gone through and besides: he's a Titan. He's the one carrying other people's burdens. Which just added to the trauma because for so long he's only cared for others, mostly for Osiris, and never really let himself fully grieve or talk about it. Saint never really processed the horrifying ordeal of constant concern for his loved one, then the realisation that his loved one isn't even with him, then the desperate search and then waiting for months and months for the hope that his loved one might wake up. Then Osiris is awake and we're forced to play allies with the person who traumatised both of them in an incomprehensibly terrifying way. Saint had no other way of attempting to make his peace with the situation.

Year of processing grief. I'm in shambles.

#destiny 2 #destiny 2 spoilers #season of the witch #season of the witch spoilers #saint-14 #osiris #o14 #i haven't stopped thinking about this and i never will #i genuinely cried like a little baby reading this #the whole time of this ordeal it's been told through saint's patience and devastation about the situation #so we know just how much he stretched his limits here #again. a younger saint would've gone apeshit months ago #but now he has a limit and he's more patient than ever and literally no one can help him #i'm in tears over this man he doesn't deserve any of this bullshit #i could go on for approximately 17 more hours about this #if i see savathun again she will die by my hand

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crossbackpoke-check · 11 months

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Why I Am Not Coming In To Work Today [abridged], Jess Zimmerman

part one | part two

#me when everybody is posting the maple leafs sad narratives and i am furiously generating this like HOLD ONNNN HOLD ONNNNNNN #honestly i could've been SOOOO MEAN about this because i saw this poem & alexandra got the preview on the poetry blog #where i just reblogged the first half of this poem point blank with the tags #kyle dubas #toronto maple leafs #& got yelled at aksdaksf & it literally only didn't go on this blog bc i usually write more & then it was percolating & i looked up the poe #& it was only the FIRST PART i'd reblogged i didn't know there was more & then brain immediately went brrrrr ok time for an edit.#this is a long one lol & i also have no idea if it makes sense to anybody but me but because y'all know me i will always overexplain so!!#my reasoning for the reasons obvi kyle. that's a given i hope he's doing well i hope he & his family r good but man is not coming in to wor #the second edit took me a stupid amount of time bc i am nitpicky but also i learned how to do the layers & transparency from the claude edi #that actually y'all don't know about lmao but i lost my mind when i saw how perfectly those pictures align i was scrolling getty & was like #ok december i'm gonna do a headline one (in my brain with the november/june quote about choosing to die again) w/ maple leafs playoff odds #how they say at winter break you know who's gonna be in the playoffs & who'll win & they thought they had a shot but it's mitchie overlaid #the 2003-04 team who'd last won a playoff round with the atlantic division stats from dec for 22-23 & how long it's been & dec headlines #i wanted breakup/recent/never loved to be a recent trade acquisition somebody who bounced around & somebody else so i almost had simmer #brodie & zar but then i wanted to make murray for breakup at any time &i forgot zar & him were on the pens together &it hit me like a truc #bc there's a photo of the two of them EXACTLY the same so close it's scary of this one but them as pens so they had to be it & i did always #know never loved again was mitchie. sorry. also mitchie in the penalty box the last game but i couldn't find footage of it & this one works #no i could not find a photo of tyler bertuzzi fighting a leaf for a dog looked at me yes i tried.#i almost made the bunting photo jt but instead it's 'bunting a rat etc' anyway the one i really feel unhinged about is dead pets bc at firs #i was gonna make it the handshake line & look to see if the leafs had drafted anybody on the panthers (dead pet former draft pick)#& they had & it was carter verhaeghe & i couldn't get a good pic of matthews & verhaeghe but it's fine bc i thought about the mo/luke schen #narrative (in which they are a perfect d pair long lost) & schenn was drafted by the leafs & that line fits jut trust me. also how i feel #about the kniesy luminous line that one possessed me it had to be kniesy idk why. i almost put gussy as girls are too pretty though ALSO #did u like my joke. daylight SAVINGS time on the goalie. thank u. also my photo magic on the jt (me very poorly editing in him as an isle)#OK ALSO HOLD ONNNNN there is a part two but i have to wait for the Content i want it will come out as soon as [redacted] or sooner #if i get bad at waiting &everyone will pretend like it is always the way it will be once i have the photos i want. speaking of did the leaf #simply not take a team photo this year?? it Does Not Exist for me i have tried very hard to look for it also i'm excited for part 2 #one of them is named oh you're so unhinged for this one & the finished product is you're unhinged in ways you didn't even know u were sorry #liv in the replies

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skyloftian-nutcase · 6 months

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Fluffvember prompt - Going on an adventure // Malon and Link go to Castle Town and chaos ensues

(Featuring Malon and Link in an established friendship with a hint of something more <3)

“Oh… I don’t know, Link, I can’t go like this!”

Link threw a confused look over his shoulder, feeling his chest bubbling with both excitement and bewilderment. “But Malon, you always look like a mess when you work in the field, anyway.”

Malon froze, cheeks as flushed as her red hair, eyes widening. Link stared at her a moment longer and then realized his mistake. Before he could hastily backtrack, though, Malon groaned.

“That’s the point though – I wanted to look nice today!”

“That’s not the point of today,” Link replied, easing Epona’s steady trot so he was alongside his friend. He reached out to her, only a little shyly, and twirled one of the little bits of hair spilling out of the cloth she’d tied around her head. “Besides, you always look beautiful when we go to Castle Town.”

Malon watched him for a moment, face softening, and she leaned in just enough that his finger brushed her cheek. Link took the invitation, letting his thumb trace along her face a moment before Epona nickered a little and the pair pulled away from each other. Malon huffed, “Oh, fine, Epona, I’ll stop complaining.”

Link chuckled and watched as she took off the handkerchief, revealing two braids she’d interwoven on each side of her head. They were a little frizzy, but they looked pretty nice, and it reminded him of some of the Gerudo warriors he’d interacted with in the past. Seeing as they’d been the inspiration for the hairstyle, he wasn’t surprised.

“Does it look okay?” Malon asked.

Link smiled. They’d already agreed that today was just for fun – no worries, no cares about chores or responsibilities or appearances – but he knew she still needed the reassurance. “It looks great.”

Malon beamed. “Okay. I always wanted to try it – the Gerudo have such pretty hairstyles! There’s no way I could ever have that fancy jewelry they wear but this’ll have to do.”

The pair continued their trek towards Castle Town in peace, and Link found himself almost giggling. Two days ago they’d agreed to take a trip to Castle Town purely for fun – no milk runs, no errands, no melancholy gazes towards the castle. This day was just for them to explore Castle Town in ways they hadn’t – Link recalled running around the area as a child, but as his journey had continued it had become less of a priority.

Not to mention seeing what Ganondorf had done to the place had messed with his mind a fair amount. He’d spent his first return to Castle Town after that just roaming around making sure everyone was alive. He still sometimes found himself staring into dark alleys too long, wondering if a ReDead was around the corner or if he’d find another dying soldier.

But today wasn’t about reassurances, nor was it filled with the busyness of doing work for Talon.

Link discovered, though, as they reached the moat, that he had no idea what to do if the day was just about him and Malon.

His friend seemed to retain her excitement, though, and she nearly leapt off her horse, handing the reigns off to a stableman at the gate. Link followed, smiling at her infectious cheer, but mind scrambling for ideas as to what they should do.

“Okay,” Malon said with a happy clap of her hands as they stood at the entrance to the city. “…Now what?”

Link couldn’t help the laugh that escaped him. Apparently he wasn’t the only one feeling a little lost.

“This is fine!” Malon argued at his cackling. “We said we’d make today about ourselves, and we will! Okay! So! What’s a place in Castle Town you always wanted to visit but never had time?”

Link hummed, thinking about it. “Bombchu bowling?”

Malon looked at him, nose scrunched. “I thought you had gone bowling?”

“Once,” Link answered before shuddering. “But one of the rounds… it was fun, but… well, maybe it’s changed since then.”

His friend continued to give him a bewildered expression before shrugging. “Well, let’s try it!”

Before Link had a second to register her words, she had grabbed him by the wrist and was dragging him through the market square. Running around with Malon without a care in the entire world was honestly more exhilarating than he had expected, and he laughed as he passed her, turning it into a race. Malon yelled in protest and the two practically barreled through the entrance and nearly ran over a patron already inside.

After a sheepish shrug from Link and an embarrassed apology from Malon, the two got their bombchus and headed to the bowling lane. Link recognized the first round immediately – they’d upgraded the device a little, and it looked like it had seen some wear and tear, but the blade trap still looked roughly the same as it had when he was a child.

He got by it just as easily as he had back then, too. Malon cheered him on with delight.

The next round, however…

“A cuccoo?” Malon questioned as the little feathered terror traipsed about. “What if it gets hurt?”

“They’re indestructible, Malon, don’t worry,” Link grumbled.

“Oh!” Malon scoffed. “They’re not and you know it! Is this why you stopped playing this game?”

Link sent the bombchu rolling, watching as it climbed the wall and made it into the next goal. “No…”

The destroyed wall crumbled, revealing the final round, and he saw his adversary, much to his dread. He felt the bottom drop out of his stomach, as if Ganondorf himself were standing there and cackling evilly. “That’s why.”

The final barrier to get through, beyond the blade trap and the cuccoo was a monstrous sized cuccoo, large enough to rival Link in height and twice his girth. Malon’s mouth dropped.

“What kind of cuccoo is that?” she asked.

“A demon,” Link answered.

“So did you never get passed it?”

“Passed it?!” Link repeated, motioning wildly at the beast. “Why would I even try? Do you want to anger that thing?! I had hoped I’d outlived it by now!”

“I’m still trying to figure out how it got so big,” Malon said thoughtfully, staring the monstrosity down.

“You’re not actually considering getting near it, are you?” Link asked worriedly.

“Well, the good news is that if the bombchus don’t bother the little one, this baby definitely won’t care if you miss!” Malon noted with a laugh. “But my goodness, it sure is big. You could ride it like a horse!”

Link felt the blood drain out of his face at the mere thought of it.

“Oh, stop being silly!” Malon huffed, nudging him aside with her hip. Electricity shot through him as she did so, unaware that he was now trying to catch his breath as she bit her lip in concentration to figure out how to aim the bombchu properly. When she released it, it managed to pass the blade trap and the little cuccoo, but the large one inhabited too much space to bypass. The bombchu let out a boom! and Malon gasped, covering her mouth.

The cuccoo clucked, unimpressed, before taking a small step to the left, foraging for food.

“I should’ve used that thing to fight Ganondorf,” Link muttered.

“We only have two left,” Malon noted, sounding a little disappointed. “We’ll have to try harder.”

Link looked between his friend and the cuccoo. This was definitely the stage that he had given up as a child – he’d had more pressing matters to attend to anyway, and there was no sense in risking his life when Hyrule needed to be saved. But now… watching the sad pout to Malon’s face emboldened him, just as seeing others in need always did.

Besides, the prize was a heart piece, a magical item that could grant some protection and healing enchantments. It could certainly come in handy. And it would look pretty on some jewelry for her.

Link took a fortifying breath and gently pushed Malon aside, taking the bombchus. “I’ll handle it.”

He calculated the path he would need to take carefully. Bypassing the first two obstacles was easy. He’d probably have to let the bombchu climb the wall to access the goal and get around the gigantic cuccoo.

Link released the bombchu and the pair watched it go. When it got through the cuccoo without a hitch, Link couldn’t help the little cheer that escaped him, only for his face to fall in disappointment as the bombchu exploded outside the goal.

Well… great. Now they only had one left.

A devious idea popped into his mind, and he paused, considering it. Doing what he was planning would technically be cheating, but… it was already an unfair advantage to have such an adversary on the playing field without a way to defeat it.

Handing the bombchu to Malon, Link said, “Wait for my signal and then send it off.”

“Your signal?” Malon repeated, confused. “What signal?”

Link surveyed the area, knowing he’d caught sight of it earlier—ah, there it was. A large pot, tucked into a corner, and filled with a familiar scent. He traipsed over to the pot and turned sharply, his shoulder hitting the rim and knocking it clean over.

Wheat grains spilled everywhere, and, as predicted, the cuccoos immediately squawked in excitement. Malon hastily let the bombchu loose as Link ran for his life from the oncoming feathery horde, yelping to avoid the frantic owner of the bowling alley. The bombchu hit its target, knocking the final wall away to reveal the heart piece awaiting its victors.

“Was that really the best way to do that?” Malon whispered as Link shrugged at the owner with a sheepish smile.

“Listen,” Link fired back quietly. “That blasted bird has been hoarding that heart piece for almost a decade. Which means people have been throwing bombchus at it for a decade. This way, the bird finally gets to retire from being attacked.”

Malon scrunched her nose in the way that he loved, the way she would when she was debating a matter. Her eyes narrowed looking at him, reading through his excuse but giving in to it nonetheless. “I suppose you’re right.”

The pair blinked as they went out into the sunlight once more, and, after Link offered a giggling Malon the heart piece, found themselves stuck again.

“Now what?” Link asked.

“This is ridiculous, we should’ve planned an itinerary,” Malon huffed with some amusement.

“I think that was against the whole idea of the day,” Link offered with a small smile.

“Well clearly we’re not good at being spontaneous!” Malon sighed.

That didn’t seem true at all, but Link wasn’t going to argue the point. What they clearly were awful at was not having something to do. Both kept themselves busy, either with farm work or adventuring, and that was the reason Talon had suggested they take a day off.

“You two work so much you’ll work your lives away,” he’d said. “Go to town and have fun! The ranch will still be here and intact when you get back.”

It had taken a few more days to convince Malon that her father wouldn’t be sleeping on the job before they’d finally agreed. And here they were, barely at midday and already over it.

“I see people throw rupees into the fountain,” Link commented. “They do it all the time. Maybe there’s something to it?”

“They just do that to make wishes,” Malon commented, though she guided him to the fountain nonetheless. “I’ve heard people talk about it. Dad and I did it once – I wished—”

Suddenly, she cut herself off, stopping short of the fountain. Link paused, peering around her shoulder to look at her face. Malon swallowed, chewing the inside of her lip and hastily moved ahead. “Well, never mind that, maybe we—”

In her haste, Malon lost her footing, tripping on uneven cobblestone, and she nearly faceplanted into the fountain itself. Link moved forward quickly to catch her, grabbing at the back of her shirt and instead successfully falling with her. He pulled her to him and turned to take the brunt of the fall, and they both nearly gasped in a lungful of water as the cold temperature shift shocked their systems. Thankfully, the fountain was shallow, and the pair instead lay half soaked in the water, blinking at each other in bafflement at what had just happened.

Malon laughed. Link found himself laughing too, especially at the exaggerated noises of surprise and irritation from the local women who had been gossiping while waiting in line for one of the market stands.

“Make a wish, fairy boy!” she giggled.

“I wish…” he started uncertainly, still chuckling and coughing slightly on water.

“Not out loud!” Malon interrupted, clamping a hand over his mouth and making them both fall into the water once more with a squeal. After a moment, though, she made a disappointed noise as she looked down at herself. “Oh, this dress is going to be ruined. As if I didn’t look questionable enough.”

“What are you talking about?” Link asked, leaning forward and putting her sopping wet hair over her shoulder. A mischievous glint shone in his eye and pulled at his lips. “You are… more beautiful than Princess Zelda.”

Malon stared at him a moment before catching the reference, poking his chest. “Oh, and you are just as handsome as the King of Hyrule.”

The pair stared at each other a moment longer before the façade fell apart as they burst into fits of laughter. The sour look from the familiar married couple who constantly subjected everyone to such sappy lines with their innumerable public displays of affection was definitely amusing enough to send Link into full-on hysterics.

Eventually, the cold water began to get a little too chilly, and the pair climbed out of the fountain (Link was definitely tempted to fish the rupees out of the water, but he felt that would be rude). They decided spending the afternoon laying outside the Temple of Time might be a good way to dry off and relax. Malon started to doze a little bit, but somehow the idea of sleeping by the temple left Link feeling far too ill at ease to actually get any rest. Instead, he settled for watching Malon and the occasional passerby who went to pray.

When evening fell, both Link and Malon realized they hadn’t eaten since breakfast, and decided dinner at one of the local restaurants was in order. Link had no idea how to order, having never been to a restaurant, and Malon was not of much help since she mostly spent her days at the ranch, but they managed to figure it out. When that was done, most of the townsfolk had begun to head home, and Malon wondered if they should as well.

At least until the stray dogs came out.

Gasping in delight, Malon reached down to pet one, and Link started to chase a few as more chased him. The two giggled and ran all over the city, watched only by the guards leading to the castle, who didn’t bother hiding their smiles.

It wasn’t until the moon was high in the sky that they realized their mistake.

“Wait!” Malon said, stopping suddenly. “The gate! The gate closes at sunset!”

Link froze. “Oh.”

They had to stay the night here.

Well. Unless…

“I could… there is a way…” Link said hesitantly. “But… only if you really want to.”

Malon looked around uncertainly. “Is it dangerous?”

“Not really, no.”

“Oh,” his friend wrung her hands nervously. “Can we? I don’t… I’ve never spent a night away from home. It’s silly, I guess, but…”

Link smiled. “Don’t worry, I got it.”

Pulling his ocarina from his pack (despite Talon’s insistence that he take no weapons to the city, Link had still grabbed all his supplies), he played the familiar song that had saved his neck plenty of times. The notes danced out with a little bit of hesitancy as he tried to remember the fingering on the instrument, but as he gained confidence and added the correct rhythm, he felt the ocarina warm with magic.

In the blink of an eye, the moon nearly plummeted to the horizon, making Link’s heart stop for just a second despite knowing it was going to happen, and the sun sprang up.

Malon’s jaw dropped. “How did you—?”

“Let’s go!” Link said with a laugh, grabbing her by the wrist. The citizens of Castle Town blearily peaked out of their homes, windows opening in as people peered around in confusion. When they reached the guard house at the gate, the soldiers were staring up at the sky, eyes wide.

Link cleared his throat. “Excuse me. Can you open the gate, please?”

The guard stared at him. “W-wh—but it’s—”

“It’s clearly day,” Link said innocently with a smile. “The gate’s supposed to open at sunrise.”

The guard couldn’t offer an argument, and so Malon and Link got their steeds. Epona seemed to be staring at Link judgingly, and he laughed at her expression. She’d seen him do this trick a number of times, after all, and it usually resulted in little sleep for either of them. Thankfully, that wouldn’t be the case today.

After all, he could make it night again once they got back to the ranch.

“Link, how did you do that?” Malon asked as they rode out into Hyrule Field.

“Just a trick I learned on the road,” Link tossed back casually.

“You know you can’t keep dodging my questions about that stuff,” Malon replied.

No, he supposed he couldn’t. But not today. Today was just for fun. And it had been fun. He hoped it could end that way too.

When they got back to the ranch, Link was endlessly entertained (and unsurprised) to find that Talon hadn’t even noticed the daylight and was instead snoring loudly in his room. Link played the ocarina again, and the sun and moon traded places once more.

“That’s… disorienting,” Malon noted as she stared at the sky.

“It could get that way, yeah,” Link huffed. When he looked back down he saw Malon staring at him. “Uh… what is it?”

Malon sighed, looking at the ground. “Nothing. I just… wish you’d talk to me. I know I’m just a dumb farm girl, but—”

“Malon,” he interrupted hastily. “I don’t think—you’re not—”

“I had fun today,” she interrupted with a small smile. “Did you?”

Link stumbled over all the words that had been spilling out of his mouth, and he took a breath, returning her smile. “Yeah… yeah, I did. And…”

He trailed off, uncertain how to continue. Malon watched him curiously, though she still held a degree of coolness after her previous statements. Clearly he’d hurt her feelings a little, and he felt awful for it.

He still struggled to figure out what to say. So instead, he stepped forward, planting a chaste kiss on her cheek. He felt her face grow warm under the touch, and the blush he saw confirmed it as he pulled away. “I thought today was nice too.”

Malon fanned her face with an exasperated, “Oh, you! That wasn’t funny!”

Link laughed nonetheless, pulling her into a hug, and she laughed with him, returning the embrace in full.

#proofreading? don't know her #as the tag goes:#no beta we die like link's childhood #haha whoops #malink #ocarina of time link #oot link #malon #idk how far after the games this is but #ehhh Link is something around 19 in this probably #19-20 #Talon said YOLO to the kids #I literally almost wrote that in the fic and was like wait a second no no #this could be pre-lu as well so #lu malon #lu time #imagine the absolute chaos you could cause if you could change the daylight at any time #my gosh I'd be so happy if I could do that LOL #also I was gonna have Malon ride the giant chicken but I couldn't find a feasible way to do it #Link would've had a heart attack #wonder what Malon's wish to the fountain was #writing #fluffvember #one poll prompt down! now on to the other two #hmmm dad squad first or disney princess sky first #legend of zelda

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hopeswriting · 8 months

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thinking again about how our first introduction to ryohei was reborn saying "sasagawa ryohei. an impressive one" and being really normal about it. are you normal about it? you should think about it and be normal about it too

#katekyo hitman reborn #khr #khr text post #sasagawa ryohei #khr reborn #criminally underrated scene #especially because ryohei wasn't trying at all #by which i mean of course he was because it's his whole thing #the guy's literally in dying will mode at all time #but that's literally his /default state/and he can try even harder from there #and how impressive is that indeed?#ryohei's so criminally underrated altogether and FOR WHAT!!!!#like just THINK about that line and all its implications #ryohei could literally die at any moment and he wouldn't have any single regret about how he lived #because that's how much he makes damn well sure to give himself fully and wholly and /so/ earnestly to his life and the people he loves #every single second of his life #impressive amazing showstopping no one else does it like him etc etc you get it 💖

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ef-1 · 3 months

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girlhood

#i have to fly out to capetown to see mother and im literally debating if i could land in the morning and leave at night on the same day #like. anything longer than that is going to ruin my year.#when she called and did her “katherine. you have to be here on the 10th” i literally sobbed in my bed for the rest of the day 😍😍😍#not dyeing my hair black for a year and its getting lighter and lighter everyday and i look like her again #and my therapist telling me “you need to do things for yourself.” but like can i? sorry that woman traumatised me and i actually cant :)#like everything i do is informed by her #I'm going to go and just like everytime the only way to keep my sanity is to mirror her. talk and sit and speak and read and eat like her #and its such a terrifying experience bc i remember that im capable of emulating her viciousness and maybe i am my mother's daugher 🤢🤢🤢#and im going to come back and its going to take fucking months for me to feel like myself again #“oh you look so beautiful just like your mother” i hope you DIE lol !!! the fact that my conception of beauty was shaped by her #growing up with this cruel beautiful detached woman and realising that at the intersection of beauty and wickness is a lifetime of pain #and still being so desperate for her approval- for any metaphysical proximity to her that i felt elated when #people would tell me i look like her. that it meant i was also beautiful like her and maybe she'll love me a little for it #but now i know for a fact that i do look like her and it makes saliva swell under my tongue - that moment right before you throw up-#when people mention it 😍#last time i was in capetown my optic neuritis flared up (and i know for a fact it was that it was ms-stress related from having to see her)#and i thought i hid it so well even though i had near constant headaches & lethargy until she said “katherine give me the red notebook”#and i knew that she knew all along. it was so acutely humiliating standing there and knowing she knows i cant see which one is the red one #and she tilted her head and said “whats the matter? do you not know what red looks like?”#im never going to have kids. my mother and i read eachother so well it can only mean im never too far removed from becoming her #lol!!!!!!!!!

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michaeljoncarter · 6 months

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every time a writer drags bendis's shit reboot legion out again, it's like. the only thing i can compare it to is the feeling when you see someone posting about leaked nudes or like the address of someone who was doxxed or something to that effect. like what the FUCK is wrong with you. why would you even bring that up. you know damn well that we're trying to erase that from the public consciousness. why can't you just do the decent thing and pretend it doesn't exist like everyone else

#not a great comparison but you know what i mean !!!!!!!!#let it DIE!!!!!!!! let it die let it die please god #it's like the entire thing was done to build up jon into the losh superboy #so now that that's been abandoned there's literally NO POINT in continuing this pleaseee let it die #every time the u.p. is brought up in main timeline comics i want to scream #there's never any point to it!! you could so easily just say ANYTHING ELSE #but they continue to jst randomly allude to this shit tier legion #and do nothing but obstruct any potential future return to form #i am on my hands and knees BEGGING like girl just make up some aliens #if u need an intergalactic space govt type organization that's not the glc the darkstars are literally right there #stop randomly dragging in species that should not even exist yet and including the modern timeline u.p. for no gd reason im so 🚬🚬🚬🚬🚬

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pandoratheprocrasticreator · 2 years

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they’re definitely going to bring up the huntlow ship by the end of the show because hunter is SIMPING hard but i really want them to do something interesting with it. i don’t want them to just get together with no drama aimed at each other. so what i propose is: a deconstruction of the last-minute love confession trope.

hunter spends the second or even third episode blushing after willow. but willow doesn’t flirt or blush at him, just encourages and hangs out with him like she would her other friends. and at the end of the second or the middle of the third episode, the gang is gearing up for a huge battle with belos, the collector, or any other villains they’ll have to confront. everyone knows it’s dangerous, so there’s a lot of sweet moments between friends and family where they make peace with some of their conflicts and reinforce how much they care about each other. lumity and raeda both get an “i love you” or a kiss.

hunter pulls willow aside and confesses his feelings. he says he has a crush on her and asks if after they defeat the villains, they could go on a date. maybe he gets out a plant glyph and makes a bouquet. it’s very cute and reminiscent of a lot of love confessions in movies and tv that characters do right before a battle.

but willow FREEZES. she’s only thought of hunter as a friend up to this point, and hunter dropping this bombshell during the most stressful day of her life really isn’t helping her decide how to answer him. she has to recontextualize all of their interactions up to this point. and whether she eventually decides to date him, she can’t make up her mind at that moment, because she’s never even considered dating hunter before.

because the “last minute love confession” trope only works out well if the two characters have been pining and basically knows the other’s feelings. it’s a good way to clear up the air in that situation before a dangerous fight where they might not get a chance after. but if only one side has/is aware of their romantic feelings, the last minute love confession becomes solely a way for the person confessing to get it off their chest. it doesn’t matter if the person being confessed to wants to know about these feelings or reciprocates, the confession is sprung on them without prior warning, and now they have to think about that on top of the dangerous battle.

so before willow can give hunter an answer about that date, everyone has to get in position for the fight. and during the fight, willow is DISTRACTED. she knows she needs to focus on the fight, but she can’t help but think about hunter’s confession from a few minutes before, regardless of whether she reciprocates. and at one point, willow gets a clear shot to take out the villain or rescue one of their friends or whatever the goal of the battle is, but she MISSES.

if hunter had confessed a few hours or days earlier, giving willow time to come to terms with it before the battle, or if he had waited until after the battle to confess, it would have been fine. but he tells her at the WORST possible time, so willow has something else on her mind during one of the most important battle of her life. and because of that, everything goes very, very wrong.

#toh #the owl house #shut up pandora #hunter toh #hunter noceda #willow park #this isn't to say willow would blame hunter for distracting her #shes too nice her first instinct is to spiral into the 'im a horrible incompetent leader and i shouldnt do anything ever' mentality #but regardless of if she likes him or not love confessions are distracting! they make you blank out for a bit!#it ends up being all you can think about for the next hour at least be it out of flattery or happiness of discomfort!#and ive always disliked the trope where someone confesses to their love interest right before or during a battle like #now? your love interest is going to get hit by an arrow because youve distracted them #and the worst ones are the ones where they confess by kissing the love interest without prior warning #sometimes its unclear if the love interest is even interested and i know its for drama! but could you do that at literally ANY other time #it just feels cruel to the love interest you know #like the person confessing is getting stuff off their chest but they have no regard for how the love interest is feeling #if they reciprocate theyll have to go into a deadly battle knowing if they die they wont be able to continue a relationship they really want #and if they dont reciprocate it puts the burden on the love interest to turn them down and go into the battle being emotional about it #that may just be me though #anyway after that it doesnt really matter if the huntlow ship actually gets together #again i still dont ship it but if they do something interesting with it like this then it has a place in the story #but to reiterate it doesnt matter if willow has feelings for hunter in this scenario just the confession would be enough to distract her #and to those of you compiling screenshots where they stand next to each other #or where willow smiles fondly at gus and hunters shenanigans and say its only because shes in love with hunter #and basically trying to TJLC yourselves into believing willow is madly in love with hunter at this point of the story #she...really isnt......#at least not yet #does she even seek him out to hang out when hes not with gus #does HUNTER even seek her out to hang out when SHES not with gus #lowhunt

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licorishh · 14 days

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Replayed Modern Warfare 3 2011 on Veteran tonight and goooooooood night. Blood Brothers never gets any easier to watch no matter how many times you've done it and the ending really never misses huh

I apologize for the amount of yapping in the tags I reread it all on mobile and started giggling because it went on for so long but eh. Blessed are those who won't shut the freak up and all that

#call of duty #modern warfare 3 2011 #i just. wow. wow wow wow wow wow #i've played these three games so many times over the last several years and i just.#they literally. never get old.#loose ends and blood brothers will never not make me cry and endgame and dust to dust will never not make me smile so hard #ending it with price smoking the cigar like he did in the first mission in the first game wHEN HE FIRST MET SOAP JUST UGHHHHHH.#i know y'all don't care but i don't care that y'all don't care i could literally yap about this until i shrivel up and die #i have never ever ever in my LIFE seen poetic justice played out so beautifully like it is at the very end #JUST. WOW. WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW. WOW WOW. WOW #they do not frickin make games like that anymore DADGUM #i also forgot how frickin sad down the rabbit hole is?? like jeez louise they didn't have much screen time but gosh #i also have never in my life heard such gut-wrenching anguish from a grown man in my life like price in that one scene #I KNOW Y'ALL KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT THAT MAN MAKES ME FULL ON S O B IN THAT PART HE HAD NO BUSINESS #anyway i'll keep cutely living in denial and pretending literally any of the main characters besides price and nikolai are fine <3 #foley and dunn and their team seemed just fine at the end of modern warfare 2 so i will accept that small mercy #at this point these games have taken everything else i love away from me so #y'all probably think i'm wild for how insane i get over these games but the nostalgia bit is a big part of it as well #like they're honestly in my opinion genuinely the greatest video games of all time #but the fact that i have that connection with my dad makes it so special #crazy cause he said he also cried in blood brothers and my dad is 54 and i have seen him cry one (1) other time in my entire life #heck infinity ward but also bless them i hope the devs live long beautiful wonderful prosperous delightful exciting fulfilling lives #Lord bless them and their entire bloodline for the contributions they have made to humanity not even joking #AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE FREAKING SOUNDTRACKS DO NOT GO THERE OAUSYDJAKAKDN #MW2 AND MW3 CREDITS. EXTRACTION POINT. COUP DE GRACE. RETREAT AND REVEILLE. CONTINGENCY. PARIS SIEGE. PRAGUE HOSTILITIES. RUSSIAN WARFARE.#UGHHHHHHHGHHHH everything about these games is so unbelievably perfect and immaculate #i have got to get over my art block NOWWWWWWWWWW #makarov is also the best villain i've ever seen idc bro he's frickin awesome #i mean obviously he's horrible and a disgustingly evil human being but as a character he's stupidly well-written

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qbebou · 3 months

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ok not to be like he’s just like me fr…. but chayanne is just like me fr…..

i’m also the oldest child with one younger sibling who needed a lot more care when we were kids and therefore was deprived of certain needs in favor of my brother. i also had a parent that was missing a lot and depended almost solely on my dad. obviously tallulah needs more help than chay, with her asthma and lesser fighting skills, not to mention she had only been playing minecraft for like a month? or two before wilbur found her. and chay knows that! he knows that she needs more help than he does he knows he’ll do anything for her he knows he has to be the strongest to protect her. my brother and i are only a year apart but i was forced to grow up very very quickly bc i was on my own a lot as a kid while my brother was sick. phil doesn’t worry abt chay when he runs off bc he doesn’t need to, chay can take care of himself. hell, he took care of all the eggs when they first left. but at the same time, it’s comforting to know ur parent is looking out for u even when u don’t need it. phil’s not a smothering parent, he’s attentive, but not smothering. but let’s be real he can also be emotionally constipated LMAO but that leads to situations like the argument and frustration between chay and tallulah when dapper was kidnapped. in his defense, he’s never been a parent before and had 2 children thrust upon him to raise on his own. he didn’t have a lot of time to adjust to parenthood like ppl in real life do, he suddenly had 2 children who had their own thoughts and opinions and emotional needs, he didn’t get the time it takes to LEARN abt how to provide that specific care and while some ppl have that innate knowledge there is a lot of learning and navigating when it comes to emotional vulnerability and regulation esp when it comes to children who are figuring it out as well. i feel for chay when he thinks he needs to be the strongest. i feel for chay when he had to make the decision to gather the eggs and leave. i feel for chay when he had to take blame for bad things happening. and i feel for chay when he realized tallulah doesn’t need him as much anymore. my brother and i are both adults now and we had a …… tumultuous relationship as teenagers for reasons that were both our own and caused by problems outside our control. but i still remember exactly how devastating it was the moment i realized that he was fine on his own. that he didn’t need me anymore. and it caused a rift between us; on my end bc i was frustrated and felt tossed aside and on his end bc he NEEDED to be independent to keep growing. i see so much of myself in chay and i desperately wish he and tallulah had a better mediator for their argument, or at least someone who could truly understand why they were so upset. i don’t think phil clocked that tallulah was so upset and adamant abt looking for dapper bc it was just her dapper and ramon surviving on their own. just bc phil didn’t witness it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen and it doesn’t mean that they don’t have a much tighter relationship than they had before purgatory. and when chayanne said everyone was blaming him for the decisions he made phil was quick to tell him that no one was blaming him but also phil doesn’t know that! he doesn’t know if any blame was put on chayanne when it was just the eggs together. chayanne made the decision for the eggs to run and they trusted him bc he’s the oldest and he’s strong and he can be a leader but by running he also put the eggs thru a lot of pain and fear that they may not have gone thru if they stayed with their parents. and even if the eggs didn’t explicitly say that they blamed chayanne im sure he blamed himself for every little thing that went wrong. we’ve already seen him open up a tiny bit abt how he was questioning his decision to leave. but phil told him that chay made the best decision he could have given the information he had at the time which is true! but when ur the oldest and everyone is looking to u, all of the responsibility lies on ur shoulders. chayanne has been carrying SO much weight on his shoulders for so long it breaks my heart.

#lex.txt #qsmp chayanne #qsmp tallulah #qsmp #i have so much more i could say abt chayanne tallulah and their relationship but unfortunately ! i am not allowed to write more than this #please excuse my rambling run on sentences and lack of proper punctuation #i type the way i speak in my head and usually that means no pauses no breaks everything flows like word vomit i apologize if things #don’t make sense #i think if this was happening when i was younger i wouldn’t have all these feelings but like #my brother has a toddler that i’ve been helping raise since he was born #that is MY baby i spend the most time with him he’s the closest to me out of anyone #and i think that if i didn’t have any parenting experience i would also handle things a lot like how phil does #i think the several years of therapy have also helped with my parenting LOL #anyways i wrote this a while back and it’s been sitting in my drafts #chay is so sacrificial and i think a lot of it comes from phil putting pressure on him to be strong #he literally said he should’ve been the one to die instead of empanada!!!!! he thinks the eye attacks are his fault #i just wish he could be a kid and do the things he wants to do without worrying that he or his siblings will die #poor sweet boy :( he shouldn’t be carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders but he doesn’t think he has the option not to

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