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thereisnothingsweetaboutme · 5 months

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I guess the best part about Christmas shopping is that the more money I spend on other people, the less I have to spend on alcohol and junk food!!!

#pro for me not for thee #tw ana diary #tw ed diet #tw restrictive ed #⭐️ve #0rthor3xia #a4a diary #@n0r3xia #theresnothingsweetaboutthisblog #ed bullshit

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thereisnothingsweetaboutme · 2 months

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Starting a 10 day water f4st today!! I'll probably be posting often because of it to keep me from getting bored and wanting to break it soon!! I'm using this as a way to start March empty and reconfigure my body's bad habits. I want this to also help me gain a new respect for f00d and hopefully eliminate my b1ng3 34t1ng episodes.

(i am set up with tons of reverse osmosis water, pink Himalayan salt, and potassium citrate to hopefully help me maintain electrolytes).

I also have a reward system set up for myself in order to give me a drive to keep. sad that i need to reward myself for being in control but that's all that O can really do to up the ante for myself. oh oh and I'm also going to weigh in every day starting tomorrow (as being the official first day) to show what my progress is and stuffs

#not pro just really fucked in the head #pro for me not for thee #i wanna be sk1nn1 #tw ed diet #⭐️ve #i will reach my ugw #tw restrictive ed #a4a diary #tw ana diary #tw a4a #i wanna be tiny #4n4blr #3dblrr #3d f4st #just ed things #disordered eating thoughts #theresnothingsweetaboutthisblog

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thereisnothingsweetaboutme · 4 months

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Happy new years :D!!! wishing for us all to start this year fresh and with the fervor to achieve and accomplish whatever goals we have planned !!! love you all and can't wait to see what 2024 has in store 💜💜

#pro for me not for thee #tw ana diary #tw ed diet #⭐️ve #i wanna be sk1nn1 #tw restrictive ed #a4a diary #i will reach my ugw #@n0r3xia #0rthor3xia #not pro just really fucked in the head #tw a4a #i wanna be tiny #i want to ⭐️ve #🕯️as a 🪶#4n4blr #just ed things #theresnothingsweetaboutthisblog

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thereisnothingsweetaboutme · 5 months

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just w31gh3d myself for the first time in like 2 weeks and I literally didn't lose close to as much as I thought! It's probably because I've been working out really hard so muscle could be compensating but I have been in a good d3f1cit so this shit isn't adding up?!?? now my totally rational mind is thinking that I should stop working out so that the numbers can drop because this is so not fair :( I actually thought I was doing good and actually dropping numbers but damn now I just want to ⭐ve and f4st for days. Maybe my scale is broken??? probably not but damn. my heart and mind are shattered and I'm not feeling the will to l1ve. the urge to drink my life away is so strong rn

#i wanna be sk1nn1 #i will reach my ugw #pro for me not for thee #tw ana diary #tw ed diet #tw restrictive ed #0rthor3xia #a4a diary #tw a4a #tw ana rant #ed vent #ed bullshit #theresnothingsweetaboutthisblog #0rth0

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thereisnothingsweetaboutme · 4 months

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broke my f4st with alcohol yesterday, but at least I stayed within the c4l limit again 😭😭😭😭

#pro for me not for thee #tw ana diary #i wanna be sk1nn1 #tw ed diet #tw restrictive ed #⭐️ve #a4a diary #i will reach my ugw #tw a4a #theresnoth1nsweet234t #drunkorexic #theresnothingsweetaboutthisblog

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thereisnothingsweetaboutme · 4 months

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broke my f4st today at 44 hours with alcohol. I realized that tomorrow I have to f4st too and I didn't wanna risk possibly ruining that by breaking early but hey at least I stayed within the c4l limit 😭😭💀

#drunkorexic #pro for me not for thee #i wanna be sk1nn1 #tw ed diet #⭐️ve #tw restrictive ed #a4a diary #i will reach my ugw #tw a4a #i wanna be tiny #just ed things #disordered eating thoughts #not pro just really fucked in the head #theresnothingsweetaboutthisblog

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thereisnothingsweetaboutme · 4 months

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Anyone wanna join me for 160 hours???

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thereisnothingsweetaboutme · 4 months

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As per usual, I'm breaking my f4st with copious amounts of alcohol ☺️💔

#pro for me not for thee #i wanna be sk1nn1 #tw ed diet #tw restrictive ed #⭐️ve #tw ana diary #a4a diary #i will reach my ugw #0rthor3xia #@n0r3xia #tw a4a #drunkorexic #ed not ed sheeran #just ed things #theresnothingsweetaboutthisblog

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thereisnothingsweetaboutme · 5 months

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i did decide to f4st yesterday but I ended up drinking alcohol. but hey it was within the 400 c4l limit in the plan 😭😭😭😭💀 drunkorexie made a brief comeback but I'm going abstinent again now I promise 💀

#i wanna be sk1nn1 #pro for me not for thee #tw ana diary #tw ed diet #tw restrictive ed #0rthor3xia #a4a diary #i will reach my ugw #⭐️ve #@n0r3xia #drunkorexic #🕯️as a 🪶#light as a 🪶#tw a4a #i want to ⭐️ve #⭐️ving #theresnoth1nsweet234t #theresnothingsweetaboutthisblog

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thereisnothingsweetaboutme · 5 months

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tw: the contents of this blog will contain themes that involve èds, alcoholism, sh, self d3precation, and overall spiralling. this blog is not looking to trigger anyone who is in recovery from any harmful behavior or substance, or anyone who is trying to just lead a healthy lifestyle. I support anyone who is in recovery and I genuinely root for them. this is a place for me to vent, share experience, to pretty much be a diary for what I go through and a way that I cope with my issues. please don't r3p0rt, just block instead and we'll all be merry.

🐝

you have been warned. now onto the introduction 💜

hello!! my name is Rai and my pronouns are she/they. I am an '02 liner and as of right now I am 21 years old. My mbti is INFP-T, and enneagram 1w9.

I previously had a blog called questionablekpoppie was sadly t worded, so this is my newer and sadder one lmfao. here's a fun little piece of trivia: my username is the lyric from a song called "Farewell II Flesh" by a metal band named Ice Nine Kills. That song (even though it's based on the Candyman story) pretty much speaks to my soul and the lyrics say more about me as a person than I could ever utter yk.

🐝

My interests include music (particularly kpop, metal, classical, etc.), playing instruments (the bass guitar, and french horn), exercising, cooking (ironic), watching youtube/horror movies, and playing genshin impact. If anyone reading this is into any of those things, feel free to slide into my pms and we can chat about them!! But I do want to preface that if anyone below the age of 18 tries to contact me, I will not be responding and instead blocking because I don't wish to interact with minors online! I find it easier to relate with people closer to my age that also deal with young adult issues. I won't be following back minors either. i also will not tolerate any form of racism, homophobia, transphobia, p3d0 behavior, or just general icky-ness.

stats as of 12/11/23

height: 164cm (approx. 5'4.5")

cw: 57.7kg (approx. 127lbs)

hw: 61kg (approx. 135lbs)

lw: 53kg (approx. 117lbs)

🐝

gw1: 55kg (approx. 121lbs) → 🎁 new work shoes

gw2: 52kg (approx. 115lbs) → 🎁 $100 on genshin

gw3: 50kg (approx. 110lbs) → 🎁 expensive skin care set

gw4: 47kg (approx. 104lbs) → 🎁 expensive bass guitar + amp

gw5: 44kg (approx. 99lbs) → 🎁 pc set up

ugw: 42kg (approx. 93lbs) → 🎁 ps5

🐝

welp! I'll try to update cw's regularly, and other stuffs. I hope that I can post regularly and keep motivation for my personal goals and if anyone (with the prerequisites above implied) needs support or just someone to speak to, please feel free to hit up my pms! I'm usually a consistent responder and enjoy interacting with people who have similar interests :D. I'll also be adding other navigation links ( like my personal hashtags for different thingies), bcs I wanna be an organized hoe. that's all teehee.

thank you, and I'm out!

me rants pretty much kinda edgy 🐝

food loggos 🐝

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thereisnothingsweetaboutme · 3 months

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I swear every one of my personal relationships, every piece of media, and just everywhere I go just is filled with and surrounded by triggers for my ed. I can't go ten minutes without someone making f4t jokes (albeit towards themselves), people talking about f00d, commercials talking about "b1ng3 faces", reality shoes putting emphasis on 34t1ng, and just every single thing just being about F00D F00D F00D WHY CANT I JUST RUN AWAY FROM F00D ITS SUCH A FUCKING DISEASE THIS THING CALLED F00D THAT PEOPLE JUST CAN'T SEEM TO SHUT THE FUCK UP. ABOUT. i think im the problem, it's all that i can think about so i just focus on only that :((( fml.

#pro for me not for thee #i wanna be sk1nn1 #tw ed diet #⭐️ve #i will reach my ugw #tw restrictive ed #a4a diary #i want to ⭐️ve #tw ana rant #tw ana diary #4n4blr #not pro just really fucked in the head #just ed things #light as a 🪶#ed vent #ed not sheeren #tw ed but not sheeran #3d rant #theresnothingsweetaboutthisblog

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thereisnothingsweetaboutme · 2 months

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Coworkers pointing out my love for ice cream isn't the best thing for my mental health while I'm sitting on my lunch break with a cup of tea and water debating on whether I should get some ice cream or not.

#pro for me not for thee #i wanna be sk1nn1 #tw ed diet #⭐️ve #i will reach my ugw #tw restrictive ed #a4a diary #tw ana diary #tw a4a #@n0r3xia #not pro just really fucked in the head #tw ed but not sheeran #4n4blr #tw 3d shit #3dblrr #3d f4st #3d diet #just ed things #theresnothingsweetaboutthisblog

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thereisnothingsweetaboutme · 2 months

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broke my f4st at 66 hours today. I felt so sick all day and even when I was driving, I couldn't focus at all. It might have been because of my laziness with taking electrolytes. Because of how slow and tired I seemed, my friends demanded an explanation and then jumped me with food and everyone was watching me while I had to eat it all. Fridays fuck. I'm going to start again tonight and go until next friday (so pretty much continuing on) to get 7 days worth of f4st1ng and by then I can eat some soup in front of them all and no one will bother me. good ass friends though, just not amazing when you're trying to st4rve.

when I w31gh3d in this morning I was at 55.4kg, so far a 3kg loss! I know today will make me heavier on tomorrow's weigh in but I won't let this ruin my newfound sense of control.

#pro for me not for thee #i wanna be sk1nn1 #⭐️ve #i will reach my ugw #tw restrictive ed #a4a diary #tw ana diary #tw a4a #@n0r3xia #tw ed diet #4n4blr #not pro just really fucked in the head #tw ana rant #3dblrr #tw 3d shit #3d f4st #3d diet #just ed things #theresnothingsweetaboutthisblog

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thereisnothingsweetaboutme · 2 months

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1 out of 10 🍃

26 hours into my f4st and already I'm feeling a bit light headed but that's okay because i took some salt and plan to go to bed soon! normally I take a swig of acv every morning but I'm thinking of adding it to some water with some Himalayan salt to see if anything tasty happens??? I'm also thinking of allowing myself to take some hot sauce as well. I've tried it for f4sts in the past and I've seen research that capsaicin helps boost the metabolism but hmmm I'll have to see. this morning i w31gh3d in at 58.4kg. sighh

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thereisnothingsweetaboutme · 3 months

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NON FOOD REWARDS!!

I've started my extended f4st today at midnight (so I'm about 12 hours in), and I'm planning to water f4st (with tea and black coffee included) for as long as possible until my driving test.

I decided that having a reward system would actually motivate me a lot to keep going so I wanted to make a list of things to reward myself with on specific hourly goals. I'm also going sober from edibles and alcohol (not cigs tho but who knows) as well, so I'm not only wanting to lose w31ght but I really want to clear up my acne, get rest, heavily self care, and just have a health reset in order to possibly go straight into a pescetarian lifestyle after this f4st.

I don't have that many ideas, so if anyone has any other non food related rewards, please please please let me know about them so that I can add them and stay motivated!! Help a buddy out 😭😭

here's what I have so far→

when something says "new", that just means I get to go shopping around on amazon and place things in my cart. I don't know if I'm going to allow myself to fully "win" those things if I don't make it until the end but we'll see!!

#pro for me not for thee #i wanna be sk1nn1 #tw ed diet #⭐️ve #i will reach my ugw #tw restrictive ed #a4a diary #tw a4a #4n4blr #3d f4st #just ed things #not pro just really fucked in the head #ed not sheeren #4n0r3xia #tw ana diary #tw 3d shit #ed bullshit #theresnothingsweetaboutthisblog

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thereisnothingsweetaboutme · 14 days

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whenever customers tell me that I'm sl1m, it really does remind me that I need and want to be tiny and to stay tiny forever.

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