#theres still a bunch of things i hate (like i messed up the line on his right cheek and stuff like that) but..all in all a pleasant surpris
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Nothing ever lasts forever / We will go softly into the night
slightly disconcerting wip stage below the cut
leaving the black parts white gives him a whole new disturbing look
#The Band Ghost#Ghost#Papa Emeritus IV#Popia#Copia#Ghost BC#i actually? kinda like this?? like im really proud because i left my comfort zone for once by adding color#ive never used water colour pencils and watercolours on any of my drawings bc i was scared#theres still a bunch of things i hate (like i messed up the line on his right cheek and stuff like that) but..all in all a pleasant surpris#also i made myself very sad with this one i hope youll join my suffering#portrait
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TELL ME ABOUT YOUR NPD MARTIN HC PLLEESAAASEEEWE
OKAY. NPD Martin headcanon time
Martin has big self esteem issues he doesnt see himself as important and instead somewhat replaceable
Sometimes his main motivation for doing things is praise and appreciation. This is how Jane Prentiss gets him in season 1, when he did extra work that he didnt need to do, just so Jon would like him and praise him.
He doesnt understand that he does have an affect on others and that people who do care for him still wont do things for him unconditionally. In season 5 this is clear as he pressures Jon into smiting people without understanding Jons hang ups with it and putting himself before Jon
He is not great at monitoring his emotions around people he doesnt care for and doesnt care to understand other peoples actions which is shown in season 4 when Georgie distances herself from Jon and he goes off at her refusing to see her perspective because he sees it as an injustice to someone he cares about and ignores that hes doing the same thing, seeing her as wrong and himself as right
He needs Jon to like him and to give him attention and feels entitled to be given good treatment from him which is seen in season 5
He fantasizes about a relationship with Jon and on some level sees Jon as special which would make him special by proxy (likely seeing their relationship as ideal love or otherwise perfect)
He expects people to act in certain ways and gets upset when they dont, which is shown with both Georgie in season 4 and Jon in the finale
When Jon goes behind everyones back Martin is upset thatJon lied to him (stating 'You lied to me, you bastard') rather than Jon killing a bunch of people. He sees what Jon did as a personal slight against him and cannot empathize with him or his reasoning
Hes envious of Oliver because Jon woke up for him instead of Martin to the point of wanting to kill Oliver (mecore lmao)
In season 3 Elias breaks him with the knowledge that someone he cares about actually hates him and it comes off as Martin had barely considered that he might not be liked by someone he cared about and that realization really messes him up
I have NPD and I relate to Martin
Theres more, but I cant remember it. BUT BOOM NPD MARTIN. Obviously you can have your own interpretations of it but this is mine based on my experiences
(tagging the people who were also interested in it @lysia-doodlez, @gracklinging-electricboogalo, @origami-butterfly and @bee-ina-boat, asked to be removed)
Edit because Im stupid sometimes: A cause of NPD is childhood neglect which also lines up with Martin
#tma#the magnus archives#martin tma#martin blackwood#martin k blackwood#npd#narcissistic personality disorder#actually npd#actually narcissistic
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Do u have any hcs about the Emeritus brothers growing up together?
i think primo took care of the others the most. of course nihil was There for most of the physical care, but i think they trusted him more than they could trust their father with Emotions or Issues
primos hair gets really thin from stress so he just shaves it by the time hes 30. secondo really admires primo so eventually he starts shaving his head as well despite no sign of thin hair.
i like when copia is also Just There being an "orphan" under sisters wing. her little protege. an out of place fellow kid. and all the other boys hate him <3 even primo doesnt trust him. hell rat them out to sister at he drop of a hat for a cheek pinch and a good job.
i think secondo as a little kid was the charmer thatd get the older sisters of sin to keep him with them in the ac while he was supposed to be doing like chores outside or like. school. hes just soooo cute and a charming little man they cant resist when he asks to sit and chat. tells them how pretty they are, etc
terzo has the best grades out of the bunch even primos surpised by the little genius. of course this leads to gifted kid syndrome down the line </3 hes always been a smartass but his steadily worsening grades makes him lean further into being a class clown type
secondo and terzo beat each other up a lot. sometimes copia is an unwilling third party and gets teamed up on. primo has learned he cant get inbetween them or theyll pounce on him too. copia has not learned this.
terzo always insitgates the fights but secondo always throws the first punch. hes so easy to rile up and terzo thinks thats fun to mess with. nihil alway tells secondo off the most but before terzo thinks hes got off scotch free theyll both get punished together for fighting.
still on fighting when copia gets beat up the other brothers tell him not to squeal to sister about it. this never works and sister fucking GETS them everytime.
when they eat together they take and give food to each other that they dont like/like. like oh everyone will give their brocolli to primo bc he like it and hell give them his onion rings or something etc. theres trades going around like you can have my garlic bread if you pass over your brownie. those sorts of things. there is peace and democracy when food is involved
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﹒﹒ superache sentence starters !
hi friends , me again ! my current obsession is superache , the newest album from the insanely talented conan gray and after my hundredth listen i realized that the lyrics make for some perfect sentence starters — so under the cut you'll find a bunch of heart wrenching one liners . if u found this useful , feel free to like or reblog to boost this .
﹒﹒ movies :
“ i look at you like you’re perfect for me ”
“ all of our friends think of us jealously ”
“ still can’t believe that this isn’t a dream ”
“ in my head , we’re dancing in the dark ”
“ this ain’t like the movies ”
“ we’re holding hands , but its all just for show ”
“ monday through friday , we both barely spoke ”
“ on the drive here , i was looking through your texts ”
“ you say that its over , but why does she call you at 3am and 4am ? ”
“ thats a funny way of staying friends .. ”
“ in my head , you never break my heart ”
“ i want a love like the movies ”
“ we lost all the love that we had and i can’t pretend it’ll ever come back ”
“ i think you’re seeing right through me .. ”
﹒﹒ people watching :
“ i’m happy for them but i wanna feel all that love and emotion ”
“ i’m only looking just to live through you vicariously ”
“ i’ve never really been in love , not seriously ”
﹒﹒ disaster :
“ the potential of us was keeping me up all night long ”
“ this could be a disaster , theres so many factors ”
“ i say i love you and you don’t say it after ”
“ i’m drunk , i really shouldn’t have called ”
“ is it purely platonic to call me like every night ? ”
“ you know ashley believes that theres something between you and i .. ”
“ maybe i just made it up , messed it up .. ”
﹒﹒ best friend :
“ remember when you broke up with your fucking ex ? ”
“ god , i’m glad you finally got over them .. ”
“ everybody knows i love you so , so , so much ”
“ made a promise that i’m gonna marry you if we’re both single by like 32 ”
“ i hate like everyone except for you ”
“ you’re just as psycho as me , just as sick inside the head ”
﹒﹒ astronomy :
“ as much as it seems like you own my heart , we’re two worlds apart ”
“ i wish i’d stayed with you .. ”
“ the only mistake that we didn’t make was run ”
“ stop trying to keep us alive ! ”
﹒﹒ yours :
“ i’m somebody you call when you’re alone ”
“ i’m somebody you use , but never own ”
“ i’m somebody you touch , but never hold ”
“ you’re somebody i’ll never really know .. ”
“ i know i’m not the one you really love .. ”
“ i guess i never really given up .. ”
“ i could give you all you want — the stars and the sun ”
“ still i’m not enough .. ”
“ i’m not yours ”
“ i want more ”
“ i can’t change your mind , but you’re still mine ”
“ tell me that its time for me to go ”
“ you know i can’t do it on my own ”
“ the only thing thats harder than sleeping alone is sleeping with your ghost ”
“ can’t believe i chose you over all my best friends ”
﹒﹒ jigsaw :
“ for you , i’ve changed every part of me ”
“ you take every part of me , all the things you need and the rest you discard ”
“ all i did just to make you happy and still you don’t even fucking love me ”
“ pointing out all my flaws doesn’t help .. ”
“ why don’t you love me ? ”
﹒﹒ family line :
“ i truly am my parents child ”
“ i’m so good at telling lies , told a million to survive .. ”
“ i can’t forget , i can’t forgive you ”
“ i’m scared that everyone i love will leave me ”
﹒﹒ summer child :
“ theres darkness behind those eyes .. ”
“ aren’t you way too busy taking care of everybody to take care of yourself ? ”
﹒﹒ footnote :
“ i told you i liked you , you said ‘ sober up ’ ... ”
“ it’s so clear i’m in love with you ”
“ if i waited , could that maybe help ? ”
“ we’re perfect together , but i’ll never be the one ”
“ you taught me a lesson , that feelings are reckless ”
“ please don’t forget me ”
“ forget me please ”
﹒﹒ memories :
“ it’s been a couple months ”
“ please don’t ruin this for me ”
“ please don’t make it harder than it already is ”
“ i’m trying to get over this ”
“ i wish that you would stay in my memories .. ”
“ you show up today just to ruin things ”
“ i want to put you in the past cause im traumatized ”
“ too busy playing the victim to be listening to me ”
“ i can’t say goodbye if you stay here the whole night ”
“ its hard to find an end to something that you keep beginning ”
“ i promise the ending always stays the same ”
“ theres no good reason in make believing that we could ever exist again ”
“ i can’t be your friend , can’t be your lover , can’t be the reason we hold back each other from falling in love with somebody other than me ”
“ since you came , i guess i’ll let you stay ”
﹒﹒ the exit :
“ feels like we buried alive something that never died ”
“ god , it hurt when i found out you love her ”
“ you already found someone to miss ”
“ i can’t hate you for getting everything we wanted ”
“ i just thought that i would be a part of it .. ”
“ i was moving into your apartment when you met someone ”
“ impossible to understand how you’re not coming back .. ”
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I watched a bunch of spooky movies this month. i watched most of them on Tubi for free I have been meaning to watch some movies on there but I just never got around to it until this month partly because I did not know it had such a good selection of movies which do ...
seem to rotate out after a set amount of time so some of the movies I am reviewing will be gone today and some might be there permanently of gone in a month or two so catch them quick if anything I watched is on your to watch list. ( 5?10 is average and thats ok)
Phantasm- 7/10
a classic with really good theme music and practical special effects. about a boy who discovers some dark and creepy things going on in the graveyard.
Tubi only had Phantasm I and III so I only watched the first one I think Phantasm II was the one I was curious about in the first place.
Jason X- 6/10
one of 2 movies in the Friday the 13th that were not aired in the marathon I saw on tv last year ( still don't know why they skipped VII but thats the only one left to watch now)
I enjoyed this movie it was fun but flawed I don't have much to say but I think the hate for it is a bit silly
Creepshow 2- 8/10
I think this movie hasn't aged the best but the middle segment " The Raft" is just a compelling and horrifying as I remembered and I highly recommend it.
Remember to always make sure someone knows where you are when you go to an isolated location is just good advice, tho cellphones sort of mitigate this problem- if you have a signal a charged battery
Subspecies I, II, and III- 7/10, 7/10, 5/10
honestly this was one of the best vampire movie series I have seen
this movie is about three college students that go to Transylvania to study the local legends.
this movie is very ambitious with very good practical effects, on set castles and ruins, and to my delight Ray Harryhausen inspired stop motion animation.
and I promise the antagonists constantly blood stained dripping lips will go from a little silly to creepy as the movies go one
theres a spinoff and a 4th movie I didnt watch them. I might later on.
C.H.U.D- 4/10
I Liked the creature designs well enough but this movie was painfully boring and If it was trying to have a message about polution and treating homeless people better i don't think it did that well either
tempted to watch the sequel even tho its supposed to be worse
Warlock I, II, and III- 8/10, 6/10, 4/10
another horror series with beautiful practical special effects this time we have time travel, witchcraft, and the antichrist
the same actor plays the Warlock/antichrist each movie even tho its a different character each time
a delightfully evil character just so over the top with it
avoid the second movie if animal death scenes bother you a lot, theres only one but hoo boy it's a lot.
this series does sadly get worse each movie but I genuinely enjoyed the first 2
Re-animator, Bride of Re-animator- 8/10, 7/10
A movie about a man who is very arrogant and adamant about being able to bring people back to life but they turn into violent mindless monsters every time.
and also a man that should know better and should have kicked him out of his house immediately but instead follows him pretty blindly
Herbert West is both the antagonist and a villain protagonist and I think it is hilarious that he tries to solve every problem by bringing the dead back to life (usually the problem is that he tried to bring the dead back to life)
a better antagonist does arise as well and they are delightfully messed up
contains one very disturbing and prolonged animal death scene
there is also a cute little monster made from a hand and some eyeballs int the second movie. it should be like the series mascot or something but alas it gets squished.
haven't watched Beyond Re-animator yet but I am curious about that one scene
Basket case- 5/10
I actually learned about this movie from Who's Line is it Anyway which is a pretty weird place to learn about such a graphic horror movie from
Casper- 7/10
not all movies I watched were horror or thriller movies
rewatching this I am surprised that it seems to have been completely forgotten.
it was fun, the effects were good, the set was a beautiful spooky mansion with vaguely gothic architechture how is this not a beloved mainstream Halloween classic
Witchouse- 5/10
Tubi's autoplay feature selected this one
a spooky witch themed horror movie with a lot of dead teenagers . its just okay
Nightbreed- 8/10
Rawhead Rex- 5/10
The Pit- 5/10
Black sheep- 5/10
Witches in Stiches- 8/10
Frankenhooker- 6/10
a modern comedic take on Frankenstein
my only question about this movie is why this man who is clearly devoted enough to his thicc dead girlfriend to spend all his time figuring out how to bring her back to life with stolen body parts decides to bring her back super skinny.
a coward that makes Herbert West look heroic by comparison uggh
had a cute little brain monster with an eyeball it lives in an aquarium
May- 6/10
another modern take on Frankenstein in a way, this time the focus is on May a socially awkward woman who gets pushed past the breaking point over and over
this movie also contains an animal death scene, and frankly it was unnecessary for the plot
Bad Taste - No rating
before Lord of the Rings Peter Jackson directed some very weird lower Budget movies
for the second time watching one I can't genuinely recommend it to people ( the first time was Meet the Feebles)
I am not going to criticize this one as much as i could because it was very independently made on a very low budget
Parents- 6/10
Repo! the Genetic Opera- 7/10
Castle Freak- 6/10
The Church- 7/10
Feast- 6/10
Deathgasm- 6/10
Tucker and Dale vs Evil- 7/10
The Stuff- 6/10
Tourist trap- 6/10
The Lair of the White Worm- 7/10
vampires, snake gods, the lambton worm this is a solid fantasy horror movie.
its also vaguely a comedy and I do not usually detect that in most British movies and I probably should not have in this one
there a weird scene where the villainess tells a series of bad and obvious lies and the burns her favorite board game " Snakes and ladders" to convince the protagonist she is telling the truth
Don't Be Afraid of the Dark (2010) - 8/10
this ones about a dysfunctional family that move into a spooky old mansion that has a bunch of little monsters living under it deep under its buried and hidden basement that the family opens back up of course.
this is a remake by Guillermo Del Toro I have not seen the original and I know most people prefer the original but I don't think this is by any means a bad movie.
the father can be insufferably mean spirited at times. but hey step mothers get a rare kind representative.
The Babysitter- 9/10
this one is about a boy who discovers his beloved babysitter is doing human sacrifice and stealing his blood for a dark ritual
i watched this one on netflix with friends
its every bit as funny and clever that i hoped for and more
The Babysitter: Killer Queen- 6/10
Deadly Blessing- 4/10
the 4th worst twist killer reveal in a horror movie I have seen, at least there were hints.
Howling 3- 3/10
this movie convinced me that The Howling series really is bad tho i still like The Howling 2
oddly almost heartwarming
Its like the writers couldn't decided between weather this was a werewolf movie with Australian folklore tacked on ( kind respectfully tho I think), or a werewolf/ political drama, or werewolves in the movie industry/hollywood
whoever made the baby marsupial werewolf puppet really wanted it to get the most loving and lingering shots in this movie and it shows
Suspiria (1977) 7/10
the Monster Project- 4/10
Frightmare- 4/10
#halloween#horror movies#thriller movies#this list was too long I did better than I thought I would for movies this month#but I'm tired and would rather spend my time watching one or2 more to end the season than typing anymore
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BELLA ARC
The Rule
the rule states that any student who takes pictures of student work at rainbow high well experience an immediate expulsion. why does this only apply to bella? why not violet or karma, or anyone else who has pulled out their phones to take photos of things on campus? sounds like double standards to me.
the rule is dumb. especially since the students LIVE and WOR at rainbow high 24/7. they have a right to their work. the rule is dumb and is definitely a form of symbolism. i have seen this theory go around the fandom before & i have even addressed this theory before. i will address it again. stay tuned in the next slides for more on that.
The Timeline
we all knew bella was gonna get kicked out. whether or not we wanted it to happen, it was heavily implied in episode one that someone in the runway group was going to get kicked out. bella was the odd one out. she’s not in the wave one lineup, she’s not a part of the actual rainbow, and she was (more or less) a surprise to us when first seeing teasers for episode one. after that, the series of events through the first episodes had absolutely nothing to do with bella’s expulsion. there was no lead up! it was very sudden and the rule was very new to us. never was this rule stated before.
while i hate that it was written like this, i think i may know a meaning. this is a kids show. we are consuming children’s media. there is absolutely nothing wrong with that & anyone of any age is free and welcome to enjoy kids cartoons. what we have to understand is that this media isn’t exactly targeted towards us. i’m sure MGA, the company, is aware of us older fans. they use social media for that matter. that is where you find older fans. so that is where they get direct feedback from us. anyway... this show is obviously targeted towards a younger audience. if they were to extend the plot line, younger kids may not catch onto a lot of stuff that us older fans would. that’s not necessarily bad, but it doesn’t seem to be what the writers want. they write with simplicity, while still keeping in mind of laying out specific things in the show for specific reasons. so this sequence of events was written for younger kids to understand. bella was written & planned to be kicked out from the very beginning. kids may not have known this. so they introduced a rule that was unheard of so they have a reason to kick out bella. do i agree with this method? no. absolutely not. do i think they could’ve done better in finding a way to kick bella out? yes. absolutely. but younger kids will look at this and see that Bella broke a rule. Bella got kicked out. simple as that.
Symbolism
there have been theories that have gone around the fandom on the symbolism behind bella’s arc. her character, removal, and replacement all seem to line up with a real life sequence of events. allow me to explain.
bella is definitely a reference to barbie. her shirt is a direct take on a barbie shirt we have seen before. her character/personality is almost a lot like barbie if you think of it. if you’re into dolls and you’re into the community, you will know that Barbie/Mattel is MGA’s main rival. they have been going at it for years. constantly trying to dominate each other. MGA has made it very clear that they do not like Mattel. the creator of rainbow high himself stated that he “respects” barbie but believes it is time for her to leave the shelves and retire. it’s time for something new, something fresh, something modern.
think of it in the rainbow high timeline. bella(barbie/mattel) is living in this world of rainbow high(mga). the creator of bratz created the bratz concept while technically working for mattel. it just so happened that he was on leave. he took the idea over to mga and they went with it. mattel got mad, claiming the work as their own.
the rule of rainbow high can be related to this. whatever work is made at rainbow high stays at rainbow high. if any third party gets involved then you are due to immediate expulsion. this just so happened to bella.
bella/barbie was working on something she wanted to take to an outside source. rainbow high said no. this is our work. bella/barbie took it outside anyway resulting in an expulsion. bella is pink. pink is not part of the initial lineup. she reached the end of her rainbow.
amaya comes in. amaya resembling all things rainbow high. amaya the main character. she is the embodiment of rainbow. her character revolves around everhthing this company has preached for rainbow high. she is new. she is fresh. she is modern. she replaced bella. (no, i do not blame amaya for any of this. amaya is a whole other story)
barbie is flopping. barbie is not doing well. mga wants to take barbie down. mga is dominating the toy isle. they have created many successful lines and will probably continue to do so for awhile. bella is barbie. amaya is mga. amaya took over. mga took over.
Bella Herself
now i do not blame bella one bit for going and doing what she did. yes, she broke a rule. whether or not the rule is stupid, she did it. and she got what she asked for.
but you have to keep in mind who she is. bella is a young girl, age 14/15. at that age... i, too, would’ve done just about anything to work with my idol. someone i admired so much has practically thrown out an opportunity that i’m positive i could win. i would most definitely go for it. and bella did. but the problem was taking a picture. bella is known to be impulsive. we can see this in several different episodes where she wanted to complete the tasks given to her and to help her friends complete theirs. even though jade did her very best to persuade bella not to do it, bella chose to. she consciously chose to. now what i think a lot of people haven’t realized is that bella literally pulled nearly 2 all nighters contemplating on what to do. the first night she stayed up thinking about the internship and making the set. the other night she spent running around the school with jade and taking the photo of the art. this poor girl must’ve been tired. she was conflicted. do you risk your dream school and everything that comes along with it for a summer internship? or do you wait for another opportunity that could possibly never come again? if bella were older and more matured, i’m sure she wouldn’t have done it. but she is young. and she has learned from this experience.
unfortunately... she was expelled on the spot without any warning. we still haven’t gotten any closure on who saw her sneak the picture. that’s very suspicious but then again... it’s probably just poor writing. but with what we can assume, they probably involved bella’s space & privacy to get that information. anyway. bella had no bad behaviour whatsoever prior to this situation. rainbow high is a hard school. they are very tough on their students. they gave bella no chances. she didn’t even have much time to process it, pack her things and properly say goodbye to her friends. it all happened so fast. she said it herself... “i cant believe this is happening” yeah me either
as for the teachers... yes. they are doing their jobs. i have seen this point being made several times and i agree! technically they are! but RH is lowkey a messed up school system. they pressure their students day in and day out to be the very best and do the very best. i get why, but it’s to the point these students are sleep deprived. staying up all night to do assignments and have escape rooms. having to start class five minutes after completing night assignments. so much to the point that jade’s response to the question “what will u so if u pass the runway project?” in Violet’s AMA was “SLEEP!” this school is messed up. working like a big company and claiming these poor students hard work as their own is mean. and these teachers support it by working at this school. they may be doing their job, but they’re allowing this poor situation by being a part of it. this can be related to REAL life in places like media and the music industry. i have little knowledge on it, but you can compare it to the situation with Taylor Swift and how she technically doesn’t own a bunch of the music that she made. i believe it has to do with legal matters, and if i remember correctly something she got involved with when she was only young. yeah. theres that thing again. getting involved when you are only young. same with bella. there’s a direct correlation and that’s where i believe that type of symbolism could potentially come in to play.
this opportunity that was given to bella was life changing. and it was a SUMMER internship. SUMMER. if RH operates anything like schools IRL, they’d have to give their students a summer break. why was it so major to them when bella could still work for.. i mean attend to rainbow high all year then take the summer of for the internship. something that rainbow high could’ve looked good for having!
again, if RH operates anything like an IRL school, schools often pay attention to their students and outside opportunities. opportunities that boost the students status. the better the students, the better the school. with this high-end, once in a lifetime opportunity, bella could’ve gotten it and not only done better for herself but better for rainbow high itself.
bella knows what she did. and i know she realizes the consequences, especially now. but this poor girl has suffered through so much. all for this drama to her exploited on a very popular & very exclusive drama channel.. the vi life. but no way in heck was any of that fair.
Amaya Raine
i don’t wanna dwell too much on this one since i haven’t really seen much drama about it lately and i’ve already said enough before. but amaya is definitely not to blame. she had absolutely nothing to do with bella’s expulsion as far as we know. i remember there being fan theories that she would be the one who had found a way to tattle on bella, securing her own spot at rainbow high. as far as we know, this is not true.
amaya had been wait listed for her dream school. it’s lucky but kind of underwhelming. so the moment she got the call that she finally had a spot in RH, she was beyond excited, not knowing what was ahead of her. oh, yeah, btw, not gonna ignore the fact that they secure a spot for amaya THE SAME NIGHT bella took a photo of the artwork, not knowing she was gonna be caught and then expelled. in her mind, she was positive she wasn’t caught and wasn’t gonna get in trouble. it’s the fact the staff was very prepared for this all under 24hrs.
anyway. amaya was already hella nervous. she seems to be an anxious person and was definitely wanting to make the best first impression. heck, she even made her own outfit so she could stand out! but unfortunately to her surprise, she was greeted with a bunch of frowns and a few dirty looks. she was forced into this situation with absolutely no warning and had to put up with everyone disliking her at first (except our favourite ray of sunshine, our mutual blue bby & our drama chasing diva)
so it’s unfair for amaya to be blamed for all of this when she didn’t even know. yeah, i am sad that jade was viewing her so wrongly. but i cannot blame jade. jade is sorta stubborn and obviously struggles with major change. she lost the one she was closest to and suddenly was forced to adjust to this new girl who took bella’s place. if i were as cold of a person as jade, i’d have that exact same reaction. she didn’t wanna believe bella was gone. she didn’t want to experience this change. she didn’t bully amaya, thank goodness. she just paid little to no mind to her. of course she threw her a couple angry looks and was very brief with her whenever she spoke. but eventually they made up. no one was bullied, no one is mad.
FINAL COMMENT THEN I AM DONE
yea ok if you bully me or anyone else for simply digging into RH lore then you can leave. or i’ll just block of that’s easier for you. some of u only watch at surface level and that is okay! if that’s what you enjoy, k. cool. you do you.
some of us dont watch at surface level and that is also very very okay. some of us want to get as much as possible out of rainbow high, given the circumstances. so we dig into it more than others might. some of us try to find the symbolism or pick up on tiny details that had gone by unnoticed. some of us go as far as redesigning the characters and reimagining their personalities and life at rainbow high. creating fun headcanons and making cool associations. just don’t bully people who do that. don’t get mad at us and tell us “getting too deep into this is worthless” “you’re not gonna get a job in life if you sit and defend a character all day”
news flash, it is some people’s literal jobs to read pieces of art and media and analyze it. english majors literally do this exact thing. heck, it may be more complex than this. but anyway. stop telling people that. can we normalize enjoying this without being insulted for it??? if you don’t wanna enjoy the episodes then okay. cool. you do that. i’ll go analyze my favourite characters and enjoy as much of the show as i can because i find enjoyment in this <33
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okay. so my batch is in 2 different classes, okay? so thats 40 kids in one room and 40 in the other. but most kids havent been coming offline yet so its around 20 kids in each room. so thankfully im in the section where theres non-dramatic career driven kids so i dont have to deal w this shit. HOWEVER my friend group consists of 6 people including me, where 3 are in the other class. so those 3 tell me and the other 2 (who r in my class) everything. so as of yesterday, ive got 3 star couples to talk about.
A.) so lets call this guy M. so M is this real tall dude, about 6'2, tallest in my class. taller than an average indian. he's bony though. doesnt eat nothing. starves himself for those "abs". he has fluffy hair but im sure its dry asf. to give u a glimpse of how cringey he is, before i moved to this school, he used to date my friend S back in 10th grade. (shes part of my friend group, shes in my class atm. S calls herself stupid for ever dating him, we agree. we also hate him). so S is also pretty skinny, and shes like 5'2. his ideal type. so he once told her that "he would totally be qualified for a model because hes got the Looks™." but hes actually a malnourished (being malnourished is kind of a thing here, apparently thats what most girls and guys dig, as of ive heard) little twig i could probably snap with one hand. so M is like still hung over S, yeah? we now have another girl O. she looks JUST like S. except shes weirdly skinny. like abnormally. (not body shaming people here but i need people to understand that starving themselves is not healthy and it shouldnt be a 'statement maker'.) so, M and O date now, theyre always holding hands in class, and apparently one of their spotify playlist covers is a picture of them kissing ? cringe. cringe cringE CRINGE. now this girl O, used to date this boy T, who is a dick. T is stupid, mean, a Man™, and weirdly obsessed with being able to relate with females. call him a pick me boy if you will, because that's what he is. i used to know T, in 2020, all the members of my class made an Instagram group and apparently he had asked a bunch of girls out on "swim dates" which is really creepy. his trademark line is "I'm a nice guy." I guess that one line sums him up. so last year, T and M were bffs. T promised M that he'd someone get M and S back together. (S was so scared. she was legit worried T might go out of the way and mess her life up.) but then when M and O started dating, WELL. BFF-NESS GONE, GF-BF-NESS HELLO. anyways that's our first star couple. also, M is shit homophobic 🤪🤪
B.) so now we have V. i used to talk to him because we shared a common interest in basketball, and my other friend from my previous school and he liked the same girl a few years ago (even longer story). this boy used to date this SUPER cringey pick me girl R. she was so cringe. but now shes okay. ig some common sense was instilled. but an insight of how cringe she was~ she had his IG username on her bio. with a " ❤️🌍🔒🗝️" next to it. bye I'm literally getting goosebumps from all the cringe SO. they break up because he finally realizes how cringe R was I think? anyways I've heard it was messy asf. so now V is dating this girl H. did I mention V is shit short? he's like 5'6. so his current girlfriend is kinda pretty, but overhyped. shes very fair, has light brown hair (standard indian hair is dark brown or black. her's is lighter which makes her stand out (?)). so remember my friend S? S and H used to be bffs. but H was *barf emoji*. so they don't talk anymore. anyways I think its been a few months since V and H started dating, I saw them looking at each other like pissy drunk butterflies yesterday. V was all "omg look I play basketball like yeah dummy I do too but I don't show that shit off but no. understandable. he wants to seduce his gf or whatever u go boy. but why are they cringe you ask? because when me and S asked H a confirmation on if H and V were dating, she said "well, its complicated. we ... don't do things." LIKE WHAT HELLO YOURE 17 YOU DONT HAVE TO DO THINGS IF YOU DONT WANT TO so then me and S are just standing there and nodding like mhm. yea. understandable girl. u go. then H still rambles off, telling us that (these are her exact words) "hE iS mY hALf bOyfRiEnD" LIKE ME AND S LOST IT THERE. there's a really cringey romance book called "half girlfriend" by an author called chetan baghat. it was really overhyped when we were like 13 or 14, so to use that dreaded phrase "half bf/gf" well.. u just ruined ur social quo. anyways that's star couple 2 for you.
C.) here we have the last one !!! hurrah !!! now I don't know either of these people personally so its pretty less. so this boy, (he is also shorter than me. my excuse to people in this school asking me why I do not date is "I am tall. i cannot see most of the boys." I know its a lame excuse but I am not dating here. nuh uh.) lets call him P. so P and M (from the first story) are currently BFFFFFFFF's. i guess its goodbye T. poor guy. (not). so P is just.. abnormally loud. like he's also a Man™. i guess he likes to 'assert his dominance with his voice' or whatever. so P currently dates this girl J. now J, is an overwoke, hyper desi idiot. like its good to be desi, a lot of people (including 14 year old me) are/were embarrassed ASF to be desi because hello western culture and the american stereotype. but somehow, when people get past that, they either become like me, one who's into the culture and loves the aesthetic and tries to learn more about culture heritage etc, or they become J. overwoke, partial-research-doing another pick me variant. shes so desi, her IG stories are filled with her dancing, singing, doing Desi™ things. and its stupid. like to be desi and express it is one thing, but to run into people and scream in their face "OYYY IM DESI WHY ARENT YOU START BEING MORE INDIAN DARLING" is another. that's J for you. i don't know much about P, but the fact that he's besties with M kinda sums up the cringe factor.
there you go. if u've died from the cringe, I need a funeral invite 💕💕
Bestie school started right before I could answer this this morning 😭😭😭😭 but omg very cringey. Sounds like the kind of drama my school had in literally the 6th grade. So what does that say about these people. I’m glad you get to observe without being involved tho. That’s when drama is the best 👌
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Okay so this isnt a cool quote just the really fucked up dream I just had
So I was in the pool alone after browsing instagram all day and I was thinking about this one account that just posted a bunch of absolutely beutiful pictures and I was sad cuz I might be only to be that pretty if I had as good as a photographer/camera as them
So I went to the pool and for some reason it was night and there were a lot of other people there trying to figure out the puzzle answer for a door and I couldnt figure it out either
The next day I hopped back in the pool and there was no one there at like a really pretty sunset and at the time I was thinking about the pretty pictures on instagram I just had my arms on the side of the pool and my head down staring at the sunset
I decided to go inside when I catch a glimpse of a dude and for the stupidest reason looked like Vance waggoner but like the bojack horseman version... yeah
But also this other lady about the same age holding like a tablet I think? There were both smiling crazy as hell so I just rushed inside
I didnt think much of it thinking they were just playing a game and then it skipped to the next day, I went back in the pool
I was still alone, just kinda chillin and swimming around, then I wanted to back inside again cuz it was sunset again. But i turned to get out and my top had unhooked itself. Outside of dreams, my pool is in my backyard, surrounded by a million trees, so no one would see me put it back on
I was walking towards the stairs and i didnt realize that 'they' were still out but I was putting them back in so I didnt matter
But as soon as I started walking towards the stairs I see the man and the woman, both staring at me with these horrible smiles. The dude is behind the woman, and the woman is behind the tablet she was holding, a large tablet but somehow I knew that the camera was open. I tried to jump so I could swim away but I was too late...
I heard the sound of a camera starting to record and my jumping did not help me, I tried to say something like "IM TEN" to get them to stop or at least get the video taken down from wherever they post it, but they had stopped the recording by time I did, and they started running as fast, as fast as they could away from me and I just stood in the pool and cried.
I went back inside and who was waiting for me there? The man and the woman. In the dream my parents werent home, late shifts I think
They started trying to lecture me about how pretty I actually looked and I might feel ugly but the problem is the camera all the time
I cant rememeber word for word what they said except for this one quote I cant get out of my mind,
"You think you need a lot of makeup, but you've got it. We took this in the pool and you looked stunning anyway" and then he took the tablet and showed me the picture they took from the first day of being alone in the pool
The lighting, the aura, the angle, and just the general sound of the image was all amazing. For once, *I* was amazing. I didnt want to but they had started to change my mind slightly. I was sitting on the poolside with my head on my arms staring at the sunset with long, beautiful, wavy hair stretching out in all directions behind me.
And then, they showed me the short video
I had jumped at the second I saw the guy take a screenshot of me, my tits were perked up but you couldnt see the look of horror creep onto my face yet
And for the most horrible reason, they were out, up, and I had looked so... grown. From behind me the sunset had not only pretty colours but also did that thing where the sun had those pretty shapes from a line that always happens in movies
I hated it. I hated how much I loved it. It was so pretty, *I* was so pretty and I was exposed. At a shot, I tried to take the tablet from him but he was too fast and ran off, driving away.
I then turned to the woman. She told me her name was sherry, so at least that was good to know, I checked my phone after getting a notification of them posting something and I checked
It was me, the first picture was my long hair out, and the second made me cry.
I saw hundereds, if not, THOUSANDS of comments of people telling eachother my age, my school, my address, and worst of all, my profile
In seconds to minutes, I immediately started getting spammed with dms telling me how pretty I was, and that they wanted to see more, others telling me I was a slut, more telling me if I wanted to do "photography" with them...
I was sobbing. I had how real it all seemed. Then for some reason I wasnt in the same house anymore. I was upstairs looking down at a staircase and I saw the woman
I pushed her, obviously, she was threatining me with a taser if I said anything to anyone. So I pushed her
I took the cord she had the laser powered with and ripped it apart, and then started smashing glass on her wherever I could find it.
She was knocked out by now, and I ran and sat down screaming about why I had done this, and why this was happening
And in that moment of absolute helplessness, that desperation for something to stop going wrong, something to stop it, I rememebered theres a landline in the house
Ya know brain, I couldve gotten a dm from someone saying how they knew this was all something horrible happening, and that they wanted to help me. That would have been something really nice, brain. But no, you had to make me fill up with white hot rage and stomp to the landline phone
(This is where it gets worse)
I saw the woman was up and she was going to tell people that j was insane and was going to check me into a mental institution so no one could fight against her
I was trying to call 911 but I kept not getting the numbers right, because dreams suck like that. While I was doing this, she too, was calling the cops
I finally got the numbers right and waited for them to pick up but I heard nothing. It rang and rang for what felt like at least two whole minutes but... *nothing*
That's what did it. That's what made me feel like my life was over and I was going to throw up. Nit the picture, that would somehow eventually go away. But a mental institution? I would never get out to live
Then I heard sirens, and i wanted to destroy her
So I got up and grabbed everything I could to knock her unconscious again, and whatever didnt it still felt a little good to beat the shit out if her
I went outside and for some reason, dream reasons probably, the cops werent there anymore, it was my mom
It was dark as hell outside, and I had forgotten about how I was still wearing my swimsuit. My mom was trying to be angry, thinking that I had been swimming at dark, then she saw me crying and covered in bruises and broken glass.
I told her that sherry was still inside after showing people porn of me, "bastards"
I watched my mom call the police and when we both went inside, the Vance guy was there looking at what had happened to his partner
My mom tore him to shreds with screaming, and I could see he was about to start running, so I slowly creeped back outside and was going to grab him from the side door
I heard his footsteps going fast so I quickly opened up the door and grabbed him, threw him to the ground, and bit his neck. With my jaw chomped down, I jumped up, with a gory mess surrounding me
The police arrived and while I was thinking about how I was going to say something like "temporary insanity" in court, I woke up
Like I said, that dm could have saved me. If you see this happeneing, just tell them that its *okay* that everything is going to get better, that their life isnt over.
But I'm awake now, no swimsuit, no glass in my arms, not a slice of someone's jugular clamped down with blood filling my cheeks
Just a few tears and the hate for my brain
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han’s Entire Thoughts and Feelings on Red Velvet’s “Umpah Umpah”
HEY YALL IM BACK WITH ANOTHER REVIEW AND S HIT this video actually came out at a different time rather than 6pm (aka 2am for me) so this is hella late but i have FINALLY gathered my thoughts
there are no read mores here so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
ALRIGHT SO-
okay THE SONG so we are still sticking with a word we dont really GET but were still very HERE FOR IT!!!! do i know what an ‘umpah umpah’ is??? NO but im still here! the song is VERY FUN!!!!!!!!! AND UPBEAT!!!!!!!!! it didnt take me very long to start swaying and bouncing with the instrumental!!!!! feels very summery!!! also the ‘something unforgettable’ part they sing just HITS me for some reason like it really is something unforgettable- also the deeper ‘umpah-pah umpah-pah’ part was interesting but i honestly DONT REALLY HATE IT and i dont hate them say ‘umpah umpah’ i must say the ‘let the beat drop feel so so hot hot’ is kinda everything
they really displayed their vocal power all throughout and literaLLY MESSING ME UP WITH HIGH NOTES AND ADLIBS (like joy in the second chorus................ pls) but like wendy seulgi and joy also go OFF™ with vocals
again rappers irene and yeri (and joy i guess which i forgot to mention i think in the zimzalabim one) decided to show themselves and again not out of place or jarring tho i must say irene saying ‘baby’ she better stop
(there are a bunch of references to their past title tracks and looks but im not gonna name all of That™ here)
THE DANCE theres not a lot to say to be honest!!! i mean it matches and its NOT CRAZY DIFFICULT like the ‘umpah umpah’ dance part matches pretty well (and i deadass copy it when i hear that part) the song is playful so the dance shouldnt super duper hard to learn yourself
theres really nothing too significant to mention which i dunno if thats good or bad but yeah
THE VISUALS are REALLY CUTE!!!!!!!!!! like they were going on vacation and expected to go outside to the beach HOWEVER they ended up staying indoors bc of heavy rain playing boardgames and watching the news with a leaky ass ceiling BUT WERE IN THE PART OF SUMMER WHERE THE WEATHER DOESNT KNOW WHAT IT WANTS SO THAT WAS JUST RELATABLE CONTENT™
the water???? during the dancing and surfing and swinging scenes???? looked like plastic????
SOME SCENES THAT I LIKED AND WANNA MENTION:
the red car and the mini city!!!! really charming and cute to look at with the turtle crossing the street!!!! tho putting joy in the back in the middle seat of the car with that BIG ASS HAT like could you eveN SEE ANYTHING-
the outside AND inside of the house was really Aesthetically Pleasing™ to my eyes with the various blues and yellows ESPECIALLY YELLOW i dunno why i just really like that color and seeing those various shades of it on the door, the walls, the couch and like so many other things i also didnt realize that they were playing the board game under the table bc of the water my dumbass
T H E M
OKAY SO I WAS WAITING FOR THIS THANK G O D THEY DIDNT GET PUT INTO OVERLY WILD CLOTHES AGAIN something simple and summery and colorful is ALL YOU REALLY NEED the pink was lowkey YEE HAW it implies they came from somewhere else so ill let it slide and all but we see it in the beginning and then never see it ever again i swear if they wear that one live and joy gotta wear that hat
irene LOVE A HIGH PONYTAIL listen this is aphrodite of my nonexistent world so of course she looks ABSOLUTELY STUNNING both the first pink outfit AND the pink one she wears in the beach dance setting are great and these contact lenses................................. yeah- and the scene indoors when shes literally just in a plain white crop top and jeans the seamlessness™ the F L A V O R™
seulgi aka PADDINGTON BEAR HEADASS its on brand for her tho she looked hella cute during that scene on the roof when she had to go out in her braids and raincoat and yellow boots!!! that first pink outfit was High Tier Yee Haw™ the yellow one is *chefs kiss* her outfit when shes like individual with the stripes looked fantastic on her im- and her simple one inside the house with the brown shirt and jeanS PLS-
OH👏KAY👏 WENDY so LETS FORGET THE TOTE BAG and were moving on to the BLONDE EXTENSIONS THEY DECIDED TO PUT IN YOUR HEAD- ACTUALLY FIRST i need to address her with the hairstyle i love so dearly whenever female idols cut their hair like that just yes™ okay back to the blonde literally why and with the pigtails okay you look great in your pink yee haw dress and your blue two piece and that yellow shirt outfit and all but this blonde like why-
YALL ALREADY KNOW THAT JOY IS MY BIAS SO S H E i already talked about the hat THE PINK DRESS THO!!!! THE GREEN TWO PIECE ABSO-FREAKIN-LUTELY!!!!! her outfit with the white with stripes shirt and yellow shorts remind me of something??? i feel like ive seen that before??? HER HAIR IS LIKE HALF DOWN AND SOME OF IT IS TIED BACK?????? I LOVE?????? AND LITERALLY THE TWO SECONDS OF HER WEARING RED AND HAD HER HAIR IN A BUN WHY WAS IT THERE FOR LITERALLY NO TIME????? and lastly her in red in a HIGH PONYTAIL as the weather person............................... MY ONLY RELIABLE SOURCE-
BLONDE YERI IS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND WE GET TO SEE HER MORE!!!!!!!!! LIKE THIS BLONDE HAIR WITH THE WAVINESS I LOVE!!!!!!!!!!! im just hella stunned by her and her face like shes SO PRETTY her pink outfit thats all SPARKLY is SICKENING on her the blue dress on her is a SERVE™ the outfit in the house MADE HER INTO AN ENTIRE MEAL™ that ending look with the big flower earrings and those pink lines by her eyes is EVERYTHING
basically what im saying is WHEN THEY SMILE I AM ALSO HAPPY AND THEY LOOKED LIKE SNACCS™
LIKE in all honesty i dont think ill listen to this song all that much from now on i dunno why its just a feeling that i just wont go back to it like on purpose but i might prove myself wrong! ill be deadass with you zimzalabim kinda grew on me over time so i dunno right now BUT WHAT I DO KNOW IS THAT IT IS BETTER TO WATCH i also still have the chorus and that ‘feel so so hot hot’ stuck in my head
they proved, once again, that their red concepts are pretty fire
IN CONCLUSION: THIS SONG IS GREAT AND BUBBLY AND I LIKE IT
#i have a headache tho im not gonna remember this later#im still on my bs being loud™ and overly positive lmao#cant wait for the dreamcatcher comeback#i planned on making videos instead since i know that the dc one will be l o n g but i dont have a lot of time to be editing stuff#im just gonna type it and then y e e t it#red velvet#not dc#han.txt#han's mv afterthoughts
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apocalypse au yaaay!!! i talked about this au like twice ever but i still love it. this was gonna be longer but i have homework and its midnight so theres a kinda abrupt shift where i had to get to the point and finish writing it. oh well
Joe rubbed his neck, hating the pain he'd gotten used to. Life was normal, rather, life as it now was felt normal as they'd found routine. He was busy with the yard, as usual. That day, it was the start of a new project, salvaging the good wood out of one of the neighboring houses, which had collapsed a few days prior. At least it would give extra room for his garden to expand, even if it would require more water than they had at the moment. He set bricks aside as he worked to start clearing the area, trying to imagine what they could do with the still intact foundation. Maybe they could use it to build up another building, perhaps. Or maybe as a stage-like platform.
A bloodhound rushed up to him, licking every piece of bare skin it could reach. Joe laughed and pet it. “Hey, Bruiser,” He said, eyes up to see Patrick hop off his bike. “And Patrick, too, of course. Hey.”
He was a boy with a dirty face and messed-up hair, his shirt torn at the collar. His eyes, behind grimy, cracked glasses, held a usual look of mischievousness, although it wasn't ill-willed whatsoever. He disappeared for days at a time, occasionally, scouting around a large radius, with the only communication being a few conversations a day over radio. A guitar was strapped to him. The boy took his glasses off and put them on his forehead, then pulled off his dust mask, a big smile on his face. “Hey,” He said.
“Hey.”
Patrick huffed with laughter. “You're so stupid, I swear to god.”
“I missed you, man,” Joe said, smiling up at him. They both smiled and laughed for a little while, not really saying anything. Joe snapped out of it after a little while, though. “Let's go in, yeah? Goddamn, you got a guitar.”
“Yeah, I did!” They stood up and walked to the house together, Joe pulling the bike along with them.
The house was like a castle, frankly; Joe had spent weeks working on the fence that surrounded it, not to mention all the other renovations. Aside from having no running water, and no electricity other than a generator that they couldn't use anyways, due to the lack of fuel, it was all they could ask for. Sure, the door didn't lock properly, but Andy had been working on fixing that.
Speaking of Andy, he was sitting on the couch listening to the radio and working on some schematics. “Is Pete gonna get up soon?” Joe asked, forgoing any greeting.
“He'll get up when he gets up,” Andy replied. “Why, are you hungry?”
Joe huffed. “No, it's—I mean, duh, I'm hungry, and duh, Patrick's back, but.. Patrick's back!”
Patrick smiled and waved, then ran back outside to grab his bags off of the bike. By the time he did, Pete wandered into the room, bags under his eyes.
“I'm here, I guess,” He mumbled.
“Hey,” Patrick said.
“Hey.”
Patrick and Joe giggled, glancing at each other. “I found a good bunch of canned food,” He explained, setting his bags on the carpet by the couch.
“You want me to cook?” Pete asked, an eyebrow raised.
“Of course I do. The rest of us, like, suck at cooking.”
“It's literally boiling water and adding the soup, or whatever.”
Patrick rolled his eyes and pulled Joe to their shared bedroom. Really, it wasn't much, just a couple ratty mattresses and blankets on the ground. He closed the door quickly, locking it. “So, I found someone willing to sell us two chickens. I've told Andy, and he's interested in it, but I know it'd probably be you dealing with them, and I also don't know, like, how Bruiser'd deal with them. But… fresh eggs.”
“We can find or build a chicken coop. We have grass, we have… more room for the garden. If we can get a better system for freshwater, I think we could get chickens.”
Patrick grinned and hugged him. “I'll probably have us travel there some time, then. We exchanged a radio line, I wrote it and the directions there down, on a paper in one of my backpacks.”
“I miss fresh meat so much.”
“I know!”
Joe smiled down at Patrick, and they separated and sat down on their mattresses.
“I, y'know, I also have another thing I wanna talk to you about, yeah?”
Joe blinked. “Yeah? Tell me.”
Patrick took a deep breath. “Well, I was thinking about this a lot over the scouting. And, well, Joe… I… I'm not gay, but I do think I really like you.”
It was quiet for a few moments, Patrick squirming uncomfortably. “And?”
“I was imagining you'd react, and maybe we'd… I'm not gay, but maybe we'd kiss or something if you felt the same.”
“Oh.” Joe looked about. “Well, I guess we could kiss. To be honest, I haven't really thought about my feelings for a while, work's been all that's on my mind.”
Patrick nodded. “Well, maybe you could, uh, you could take off your dust mask and we can kiss, then, if you want to.”
Joe huffed, pulling his mask down. He'd forgotten he even was wearing it. Nothing happened for a moment or two. “So, are we gonna kiss?”
“Yes, yeah. Let's…” Patrick scrambled off his mattress and looked up at Joe. “Let's kiss.”
“Yeah.”
They kissed.
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Can I please ask what caused you a trauma? I don't know if I can ask this so sorry if not. I ask because I always feel like what has happened to me is not enough and not a 'good excuse' and not really deserved to cause trauma. i experienced bullying for many years and i have post trauma and social anxiety and I hate myself and i was hospitalized because depression and social anxiety but I ALWAYS!! feel that i don't! deserve! a treatment because other people experienced worse things
hey is it okay if i’m sort of vague about the first question? i don’t consider myself to be a traumatized person but Some Things Have Fucked Me Up. mostly just,,, my early childhood i was living in really unsafe situations, so some things happened to me bc of that. my parents were alcoholics lmao and they didn’t realize what they were doing to me. dealing with addiction and mental illness at a young age is weird. n even when i got a bit older there was a few instances that messed me up, the bullying got worse and my family was struggling, i won’t go into detail but most of it stems from back then. i hope this doesn’t sound like i’m just listing a bunch of dumb problems, i just want you to understand where i’m coming from but ANYWAYS what i actually want to say is this:there’s no standard you need to meet in order to make what you’ve been through valid. the fact that other people have had it worse doesn’t change the reality of your situation, and of what you’ve been through. people treating you like shit is bound to have an impact on you and your mental state and your perception of the world, especially if it was happening for a long time during your formative years. stop questioning why you feel the way you do and accept that you’re hurt, that it’s okay to be hurt as long as you know that help is available. if your best friend was dealing with what you’re dealing with, would you tell them to get over it bc other people have suffered too?? of course not, right?? well try to treat yourself with that same level of tact and care. you weren’t treated the way you should’ve been treated. it’s unfair. you’re allowed to be angry, you’re allowed to be upset. i saw a quote once that said something along the lines of ‘someone that drowns in 2 feet of water is just as dead as someone that drowns in 100 feet of water.’ i think that applies here. no matter how insignificant your experiences feel, they’re still yours to claim. they still happened to you. the pain you felt won’t just go away bc you are empathetic towards others.
and as far as depression and social anxiety goes - sometimes there is no definitive cause. it’s a chemical imbalance in the brain, it’s not always circumstantial. please, please don’t prevent yourself from getting the help you need just bc of what your brain is telling you. mental illness is just as serious as physical illness. this is an extreme example, but if you had meningitis, you wouldn’t not get help just because other people have cancer, right? if you need help, you need help. theres no ifs ands or buts about it. all you need to do is take the first step and reach out. talk to your parents about getting in touch with a counselor or a doctor again, particularly bc you’ve been hospitalized, and then just see where it goes from there. if your brain tries to convince you that you don’t deserve it, then recognize them feelings of inadequacy but don’t let them control you, okay? that’s the key here. i really hope you’re able to get what you need. i’m sending you so much love ok!! n just know that i’m always here if you need to talk. hmu anytime :)
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So much went wrong today
Literally just. I had a shit day and i need to vent for a sec so just. Strap in kiddos. (tldr at the bottom) I accidentally gave a Twelve Pack of deserts to the Wrong Car bc it was busy af and the food bag and the box of cinnamon balls were sitting right next to eachother, i looked at the wrong order on the screen and thought they were together. I gave her the cinnamon balls and went "And your twelve pack" and she didnt even say anything? She just took them? Like, you shouldve told me you didnt order any when i handed them to you, what?? But whatever, i fucked up, I'll admit it. Im annoyed at whoever put the bag and the box of cinnaboms Right next to eachother and didnt tell me, but honestly it was entirely my fault and i know that. I had to make people wait at the board for so long bc i was too overwhelmed to take cash and take orders too bc the board was out there were extra steps i needed to take and people were Extremely Upset today. I got snapped at, glared at, two people yelled at me, Many people got mad and went "Well nothings on the screen so Repeat what I got. Tell me what I ordered, your screen is broken!!" Before i even finished asking them the scripted questions. Like theyd finish ordering, not tell me they were done, and just immediately go off. Id ask what sauce, if there was anything else, and theyd just yell for their order to be repeated, As If I Wasnt Already Going To Do That. I fucking Work here, theres a huge line in front of you, One would fucking think I already KNOW ABOUT THE BROKEN BOARD, SHUT UP ABOUT THE BOARD LET ME FOLLOW MY SCRIPT GOD and so many people at the window kept trying to talk to me, after ive clearly just turned my headset on and was talking into it and was having a conversation, theyd ask questions and stuff and like sure fine whatever But i have someone ordering really fuckin fast at the board, and your ass just made me miss their entire order bc you want to know how much a breakfast item is at 2:34pm, or you want extra sauce for your 3 items even tho Ive already given you 10. Enough with the sauces. Im sick of the sauce. I had to make people repeat things Multiple Times and god i hate doing that, i felt so bad. It did not help people Not be mad at me. Didnt help that my backup didnt fucking show up today. Didnt call, nothing. Just didnt show. The coworker on line, handing me the finished orders, is quiet as fuck and a bad communicator. Im kind of hard of hearing, my right ear is my good ear and bc of that, i wear the headset on that side. I cant hear it out of my left, its muffled and my ear rings too much with the noises, it all gets jumbled. I can Only focus on my right ear. Idk why. With my left i need to see your mouth move with the words. I communicated this with my coworkers, they need to speak up with me especially on drive. He is just Far too quiet, he doesnt turn his head to even Look at me when putting bags on our shared counter. He doesnt even push them closer to me, just sets em down so I am never sure if the order is done or not until i reach across to his side of the counter and pull it to me. It was really irritating tbh At one point this one lady was extremely upset with me, glaring, not speaking much, tapping her fingers Loudly on her door. She asked for a cup holder for her two freezes and when i went to put one in, it didnt go in all the way and lost balance and just toppled onto me. Fell to the floor, splattered everywhere and got in my shoe??? I just froze and stared at the ceiling for a sec, bc i got some guy ordering in my ear after i had already asked him to wait, i got the lady at the window heaving the Biggest sigh, and glaring at me when i looked at her to apologize and let her know i need to go make a new one, and I was already pretty overwhelmed at that point. I literally almost cried. My throat felt tight, my eyes burned. And i still have a cold. I was coughing all day, my voice sounds like shit, but at least no one could tell i was about to cry. Bc my voice is already strained bc of this chest cold and cough. Jesus Christ today just went by way to slowly and i dissociated through a whole bunch of it. Gotta do it all again tomorrow and i would actually prefer death TL;DR: It was busy as hell, the order board was out, I messed up like four orders, and people were just Extremely Pissed Off today. I almost cried over spilt Freeze.
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GAGEGN ch9
[index/summary]
REPORT: Regarding the unexpected return of subject "Benry"
Benry was in his house.
After years of studying the strange hole in reality that Benry had resided in, years of hoping he would wake from his coma someday, and a video game world that made it impossible for him to question either of those things, Tommy finally had a chance to talk to Benry. As soon as he was done biting into uncooked instant ramen blocks.
“Umm, do you want that cooked?” Darnold offered hesitantly.
“Cooked?” Benry echoed before crunching loudly into it again.
Darnold didn’t reply.
Benry had gone out of his way to move one of the nice barstools Tommy and Darnold had picked out, sitting behind the bar section in their kitchen in his metal chair he’d set out again. The counter was too tall, giving Benry the effect of looking comically small as he peered over the countertop at Tommy and Darnold.
“So...where have you been all this time?” Tommy finally settled to ask him.
“Squatter’s rights, bro.” Benry replied.
“You were squatting this whole time?” Darnold questioned.
“Yeah, why didn’t you—uhh, well...” Tommy stopped, remembering the way Mr. Freeman had threatened Benry with a flaming spoon. Maybe squatting was the better alternative after all. “Never mind.”
Benry took another loud bite of his ramen block.
“Umm...Benry...” Tommy began, pausing when Benry took another bite, “can I ask you—uhh, about the Nihilanth project?”
Tommy noticed Darnold’s curious look as they waited for a response from Benry. After everything, Tommy had never even brought up the Nihilanth project with him—not intentionally, there was just so much else to discuss.
“Wha...?” Benry asked.
“The project that I was—where we met?” Tommy fumbled. “If you remember that at all, I—it’s kind of...a surprise to see you, actually.”
“I haven’t been gone that long, man, I dunno...”
Tommy bit his lower lip in frustration. He didn’t blame Benry for being confused—he was more exhausted with his own inability to articulate what he was trying to say after so long. He took a moment to grab himself a soda from the fridge, cracking it open and taking a long sip as he got his thoughts together. Finally, he tried again.
“How far back do you remember?” Tommy asked.
“I dunno, man.”
“...Do you remember before, uhh, before the game started?”
“No.” Benry answered simply, crunching on the last of the ramen block. He got up from his chair, Sunkist eagerly approaching to eat the crumbs that fell from Benry’s lap to the floor as he tore open a new one and opened the microwave. Tommy and Darnold watched Benry microwave a completely raw block of noodles with no water, not even a bowl or a plate, for about a minute as smoke began to billow up inside.
“I think it’s done.” Darnold commented.
“Oh, damn.” Benry opened the microwave, releasing a small plume of smoke and taking out the block, burnt in several places.
“So...you don’t remember when we met? At all?” Tommy asked slowly.
“Yeah, we were, uhhh...” Benry put a finger to his chin. “We used to play on uhh, whaddya call ‘em. Like a ladder, but the other way.”
“...Huh?”
“The monkey bars?” Darnold filled in helpfully.
“Yeah, that. We used to play on those when we were kids.” Benry declared before taking a massive bite out of his block of burnt ramen. Sunkist, finished with the aftermath of the first one, trotted to Benry’s feet to await more crumbs. Benry continued talking with his mouth full. “We’d hide when recess ended so the teachers wouldn’t see us. Great shit.”
Tommy frowned deeply, tapping his fingers together. “...Benry, I don’t think that’s true.”
Benry shrugged.
“You were a—you were a guard in the Lambda lab.” Tommy began to explain. “Everyone called you ‘Ben’, not Benry. We used to, uhh, talk about video games. Then...you...disappeared. Dr. Coomer said, umm, apparently, you thought you saw something in the chamber. And—and—the Nihilanth, it was...if you went in, you were teleported around a bunch, but you ended up staying—you were stuck in a void, and I pulled you out. You ended up in a coma, and the Nihilanth disappeared. I—I got transferred out of the Lambda lab, though, and I never saw you again until the game started.”
Benry nodded. “Okay.”
Tommy could only stare at Benry.
“Ummm...do you remember any of that, Benry?” Darnold asked on his behalf.
“Huh? No.”
Tommy let out a quiet sigh. “Yeah, I um, it makes sense that you don’t...that you don’t remember.” He said. “I just...well...I guess I don’t actually know all that much about you. Not really.”
Benry’s usually deadpan expression turned heartbroken in an instant. “What? Man, but we’re best friends, right? I thought we were best friends.”
“We are friends!” Tommy agreed quickly. “It’s just—I don’t know. I...why did you attack us, Benry?”
“Huh?”
Tommy wasn’t sure how to make himself any clearer in that moment, so he remained silent.
Benry finished off his second block of ramen. “Yo, can I stay here tonight? I got kicked outta the house I was squatting in.”
“Uhhh—yeah, of course. But Benry—”
“Sick. I just gotta go get my stuff.”
Tommy reached out, taking Benry’s wrist to stop him as he started to leave. “Benry, could you wait a second, please?”
Benry turned back to look at Tommy expectantly.
“I just—you’re my friend, Benry, that’s not...” Tommy stopped, frowning as it grew more difficult to speak. “I just wanna understand. We don’t need to...have a big...thing, I just wanna know why.”
Benry stared at Tommy for a long moment. “...Why I what?”
Tommy took a deep breath to steady himself. “Why you attacked us at the end.”
Benry threw his head back and let out a long groan. “I don’t know, man, what’s it matter? It was in the game, it’s not like you could’ve died or anything.”
Tommy pressed his lips into a thin line, his ability to speak officially obliterated by that. When he didn’t give a response, Benry shrugged and simply disappeared into thin air. Tommy sighed deeply, rubbing his face in his hands. Sunkist nudged her head against Tommy’s elbow comfortingly, and he relaxed a little as he knelt down and buried his face into her fur. Tommy looked to his side, watching Darnold sit down awkwardly cross-legged beside him.
“Umm—do you wanna be alone? Should I go?” Darnold asked suddenly.
Tommy smiled a little, shaking his head.
Darnold nodded. “Okay. Ummm...jeez. He’s hard to talk to, huh?”
Tommy shrugged. He turned over to lay on his back, head rested against Sunkist as he pulled out his cell phone and flipped it open to navigate to his text history with Darnold.
TOMMY: im sure i probably just need another approach
TOMMY: hes not the same as he used to be
TOMMY: i wanna be patient w him b/c hes been thru a lot
TOMMY: but
TOMMY: im pretty upset about it all to be honest :(
Darnold flipped his phone open, reading over Tommy’s texts carefully.
“...Yeah, it seems like a whole complicated mess.” Darnold replied, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly. “I get that you wanna be patient with him, but I mean, you deserve to have the space to be upset, Tommy. Even if you couldn’t have died, it still sucks he did that.”
TOMMY: but what if there was a reason?? :(
TOMMY: i dont wanna make an ass of myself if there was a good reason
“Well, to be fair, he’s kinda making an ass of himself already.” Darnold said flatly. “Also, I kinda find it hard to believe there’s some big intricate reason for him to do that. I find it pretty easy not to just attack my friends out of nowhere, personally.”
Tommy snickered a little.
TOMMY: i get where ur coming from
TOMMY: i still wanna hold out tho
TOMMY: i feel like theres something were missing
TOMMY: u know?
Darnold nodded. “Yeah, well, if that’s what you want, I support it. Just don’t overextend yourself or anything, alright?”
Tommy nodded as well.
TOMMY: thanks darnold :)
****
“It’s just—I thought we were finally rid of him! I thought he’d fucked off forever, and then he just goes ahead and shows up at my house, with absolutely no warning?! Typical Benry.”
Dr. Coomer and Bubby sat together on Gordon’s couch, watching him pace back and forth in the living room.
“Well—” Dr. Coomer tried to start.
“At my house! Where my son lives! If he shows up while we’re out robbing banks or whatever, fine. I hate it, but fine, it’s not like I can stop him, right? But he could at least have the decency to let me have just one space that feels safe. Just one.” Gordon prattled on, waving his arms around furiously as he spoke.
“Gordon—” Bubby tried.
“I just want to feel like I can move on with my life! That’s all I want, I wanna forget about everything that happened with the resonance cascade! Everything could be perfect, I don’t have to worry about money anymore, I can just focus on raising Josh, but if he can just come into my house any time he fucking wants, I—”
“Gordon!” Bubby snapped.
Gordon stopped, looking at Bubby with wide eyes. Bubby turned pointedly to Dr. Coomer, leaning back and crossing his arms.
“Well, Gordon, I understand you’re upset. You have a right to be.” Dr. Coomer began, standing and placing a hand on his shoulder. “I believe you may need to sit down, though.”
“Huh? No, I’m fine.” Gordon said. It was only just now, though, as he finally stopped talking, that he noticed his heart was racing.
“Come along, Gordon, have a seat.” Dr. Coomer insisted. He practically dragged Gordon to the couch, sitting him down and plopping down beside him with a comforting arm over his shoulders. “I’m more than happy to listen if you need to vent your anger, but right now, you seem a little overwhelmed.”
“I’m not overwhelmed!” Gordon argued instinctively. “I love you guys, and I appreciate everything you’re trying to do, but I’m not fragile.”
Dr. Coomer exchanged a look with Bubby before turning back to Gordon. “...If you need space, that’s alright. I just want you to know we’re here for you if you need.”
“Thank you, Dr. Coomer, I...” Gordon forced a deep breath, in and out. “I just need you to let me handle this shit on my own. Okay?”
Dr. Coomer nodded hesitantly. “...Should we go?”
“Uhhh...” Gordon leaned forward, propping his elbows up on his knees and burying his face in his hands. “Y-yeah. I need some quiet. I-it’s not anything against you, I promise, it’s just...yeah.”
Gordon felt the couch shifting as Dr. Coomer and Bubby stood. He felt Dr. Coomer squeezing his shoulder for a moment as Bubby’s footsteps grew distant.
“You can call me any time you need me, Gordon.” Dr. Coomer said gently.
Gordon nodded. “I know. Thanks, Dr. Coomer.”
Dr. Coomer followed Bubby out of the house. Gordon dragged himself to his feet, heading up the stairs with light footsteps. He nudged Joshua’s door open just a little, relaxing as always at the sight of his son sleeping soundly, despite all the ruckus just a few minutes before. Then, he headed to his own bedroom with his freshly built bed, most of his belongings still in boxes. Leaving the hall light on and his door slightly ajar to let the light stream into his room, Gordon flopped down into his bed.
He didn’t get much sleep. How could he? Every sound outside jolted him awake, making him deeply miss the weight of a heavy shotgun in his hands. It was a comforting weight, reassuring that he wasn’t defenseless against anything that tried to get the jump on him. At the very least, with the excuse of building furniture, Gordon now had a heavy hammer to keep by his bedside table that he could reach for in his moments of panic. He held it now, close to his chest, after he’d been woken by the sound of someone talking on their phone outside.
Gordon forced out a deep breath, setting it back on the bedside table with a gentle clunk. If his friends saw him like this, they’d double down on their attempts to help, he was sure—and he wasn’t stupid, he knew this wasn’t normal. Above everything else, though, it was embarrassing. He’d been the guy who led them to a safe place, he should know better than anyone else that it was all going to be okay; and he knew it logically, but he couldn’t stop the kneejerk, gut fear reactions. And if he wasn’t alone in this, surely his friends already had enough on their plates. He couldn’t ask them to divert their energy into reassuring him it was going to be okay. This was something he was going to have to handle on his own.
For their sake.
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29 Neibolt ST (Monster Roommate AU) Chapter 3
Alright friends things are heating up. Pennyboi learns how to deal with feelings and Leech gets a job. Some weird stuff with meat happens. Leatherface is a pure beautiful soul and must be protected. Next chapter will contain SMUT.
Warnings: Mild Nsfw, Blood, Swearing, Drug Use, Alcohol, Fluff.
CHAPTER 3
Help.
The young vampire to be had been there a full month now and she hated to admit it but she had never been happier. This was truly a new start for her. People even stopped calling her by her original name preferring to use the one Pennywise had given her when they first met. It was meant as an insult but it fit her so well she kept it. She was a bloodsucker now after all. Lucy was gone Leech was who she was now. She had a new job lined up, new friends, a great mentor and she was even given a wig by Leatherface as a housewarming gift when her hair began to fall out. Aside from the impending death and losing humanity thing….and that damn clown…. this was nice. This could work.
Movie night at the Neibolt house was a big event. Everyone joined in even Pennywise who usually kept to himself but when Dracula insisted he join in to make a certain proto-vampire happy the clown reluctantly agreed. He hated that the elder vampire knew about his affliction.
When Dracula found out about it he had been confronting the clown over his disheveled state. “You seem less cruel to my young apprentice and you look like you have stopped feeding. You are infatuated.”
“Infat- What?! No! Leech is, she’s, well we’re just………I mean….I……..…..what do I do.” He was weak and defeated. Pennywise had never had a positive feeling like this before and Dracula was the only one other than Chucky that knew how to deal with this sort of thing.
“You must pursue her it'll be healthy for the both of you! My poor apprentice has been worried sick about her transition for weeks now! Yes! ROMANCE HER WOO HER GIVE HER YOUR LOVE.” The elder vampire was a complete hopeless romantic.
“I was just going to go back to eating my feelings till this goes away?”
“NAY YOU MUST COURT THE BEAUTIFUL WOMAN. I HAVE FAILED IN LOVE BUT YOU CHILD YOU STILL HAVE A CHANCE”
“One, I'm way older than you. Two no.”
“LOOK AT YOURSELF BOY, YOU ARE WASTING AWAY IN LOVE! GIVE HER YOUR HEART END YOUR ETERNAL LONELINESS.”
“What part of older than you do you- never mind lets pretend this never happened.”
“YOU WILL SEE SOON ENOUGH BOY, YOU WILL SEE THAT YOU CANNOT HIDE FROM LOVE.”
Pennywise hated how that he was right about that. He tried eating more and began to look healthy again until Leech walked by in the kitchen two days later and gave him a damn compliment. Who does she think she is telling him he looked extra scary today. The nerve!
“At least theres popcorn” he grumbled plopping down onto one of the couches. Having two giant monsters in the house plus a very territorial cat required multiple couches and chairs so everyone could fit around the old antique tv.
“Whats on the menu tonight boys” Freddy says opening a beer taking up a whole lazy boy to himself.
“Something we can do a drinking game with please?” came Leech’s request from the kitchen she was busy making drinks for her new friends after she bragged she could make them killer cocktails that would knock their socks off. It also to try to persuade Leatherface to put in a good word for her when applied for the position of bartender at the newly remodeled Sawyer’s. Dracula was assisting her while carefully watching her glances and shy smiles whenever she heard Penny’s bells. The elder vampire had never had a protege before and he had to admit her fiery personality was growing on him, shed make a fine creature of the night eventually he just had to get her past her unwillingness to change. Leech found it annoying that he was constantly nagging her about her transition. Tonight it was all about how vampires cant hold their liquor. But she liked her mentor, he was like the father she never had and she would often find herself coming to him with questions not only about her condition but also life in general.
“Atta girl Leech you're a woman after my own dead heart” Freddy shouted back the two had been bonding more smoking on the porch talking shit about people who got on their nerves that day. They did have quite a few things in common one was tequila and the other was epic amounts of sass. Pennywise did feel a twinge of jealousy over it but knew if he said something Freddy would tell everyone the eldritch embodiment of fear had a big stupid crush on someone he normally considered food.
“All right guys heres my official audition for bartender at Sawyer’s. Tip jar is on the counter for when all you assholes are blown away by how great I am.” she boasted passing out the drinks.
“Big talk for someone who's tolerance is sinking faster than the Titanic” said Chucky
“Shut up and drink doll. I’ll let my talent do all the ass kicking for me.”
“What the hell is this?” Freddy asked poking the puffy pice of spun sugar
“Cotton candy martinis bitch!”
Pennywise choked on his popcorn.
She begun finishing handing them out and as Penny picked his up his giant hand touched hers. They blinked at each other for a second. “Something wrong Pen? Did I uh offend you with the circus flavors?”
“Oh um no no just something on your um something on your face!” Dracula rolled his eyes at him dramatically from the kitchen.
“Oh where.” Leech frowned.
“Its um… no stop stop! Don't touch it. Just let me do it..” The clown quickly pretended to wipe something off her nose. “nailed it.” He thought.
Chucky's eyes grew wide when he saw the exchange. “No fucking way” he whispered.
Leatherface was delighted at the sweet drink. He even giggled when his friend put the cotton candy in the liquor and it dissolved. “So you think I got the job big guy?” he grunted happily in approval “Aw shucks Bubba you're the best!” she hugged the lovable giant murderer. Leech smiled wide with cockiness “nailed it.” She said to herself.
————
“Wait you only have a waitress job??? But I thought I was applying to be a bartender!?” she complained at the giant the next day. She wasn't mad at him though it was the rest of his family’s fault probably. They Sawyer clan were a bunch of boys they needed a cute girl in the restruant to be the bait for their…. meat source. Finally the young vampire sighed “Fine I’ll take it, anything at this point. Just let me know when I start.” Desperate times call for desperate measures. “Do I at least get a nice uniform?” she asked.
Leatherface nodded enthusiastically, he brought out a bag from behind his back and handed it to her. Freddy was now watching with glee from around the corner. He had been planning this for the past week.
“Oh you've got to be kidding me.” she growled from the bathroom and Freddy laughed.
“Whats so funny?” Pennywise asked sipping a hot cocoa with way too many marshmallows
“I helped the big guy pick the new uniform for the waitresses wait till you see it.”
Leech creaked the door open her face bright red. As she stepped out Pennywise spit his drink and nearly choked on a marshmallow. She was in a tied flannel top and daisy dukes. “Who told you this was a good idea Leatherface?” the giant happily pointed at Freddy’s hiding spot who was on the floor cackling now. Chucky walked by and his jaw nearly fell on the floor before running to get Tiff. Pennywise was 100% broken. He couldn't believe what he was seeing.
“Can I at least wear an actual shirt instead?”
Leatherface looked sad she didn't like the uniform. “Oh no” she thought “He's proud of it.”
“Hey hey big guy! I didn't mean it the uniforms great don't be sad see I’m going to put it away for tomorrow ok!”
Pennywise left the room quickly unable to remain there for much longer without….feeeeeeling.
Chucky walked over to him giving his leg a sharp jab with his elbow.
“What do you want doll.” he snarled
“You're a mess Jingles. Why don't you do something about it?”
“I don't know what you're talking about.”
“Your lame school boy crush on the baby bloodsucker.”
“I dont-“
“Don't even man you were practically having a heart attack back there, plus you were staring at her the entire movie night. Tiff thinks its cute.”
“Does everyone know now?”
“Pretty much.”
The clown fell on the floor against the fridge. “Then I need your…………help.” The last word was a struggle for him.
———-
Leech marched into the old house carrying the an entire butcher shop in grocery bags. Drops of cold animal blood dripped down from her purchases and Church had come out of hiding to follow her to the kitchen where she began to pack the fridge and freezer full of raw meat.
“Ok clown your girl’s home go talk to her.” Chucky whispered from behind Pennywise who was hiding on the stairway to the basement.
“Compliment her ears she's been very self conscious about them lately” Dracula suggested to him.
As Pennywise attempted to step forward he paused when he saw the young vampire. She looked to be in a trance as she put meat away finally stopping at a package of bratwursts and taking a deep inhale of the bloody sausage. She let out a small whimper and as a drop of drool fell from her lips the clown felt his breath hitch. “What are you waiting fo- woah!!!” Chucky paused when he saw that Leech has taken one of the sausages out of the package and was brining it to her hungry open mouth. Her tongue had rolled out and she swallowed the meat whole like a snake. “Holy fuck Jingles thats uh… thats some girl you got there…” Chucky’s jaw dropped. Pennywise was completely frozen unable to speak. “Well ah.. nosferatu fledglings do have a…ahem insatiable appetite” Dracula dabbed his brow.
“We’re uh….we’re gonna go….good luck Jingles…” Chucky and Drac both bolted out of the room as Leech finished the tray of sausages completely unaware and going into a slight frenzy.
She ripped open a roast now and began violently tearing the meat with her dull human teeth. She started sucking the blood through the flesh while making obscene gasping sounds as she fed. Drool poured out of Pennywise’s mouth in record amounts as he watched the vampire. She tore off her beanie revealing her bald head and large bat like ears which began to fold straight up against the side of her head. Leech’s eyes flashed forward as she finished Penny marveled at how they looked like little reflections of the full moon against her dark eye circles she was becoming a truly terrifying monster. The clown had never seen something so beautiful or smelled something so sweet. The nosferatu came down from her high panting and gasping looking at the animal blood on her hands and the drool on the floor. “What the hell just happened?” she said to herself. She heard a soft jingle and her face lit up, she quickly put on her beanie to hide her baldness and wiped her face. “Penny?!” she said asked excitedly a small blush creeped onto her cheeks. Her face fell when no one answered. “Must have been my imagination…” she mumbled starting to clean up her mess.
Pennywise had retreated to his lair leaning back in his nest panting with need. He looked down at the tall tent in his pantaloons and shut his eyes. This was bad. He never really felt feelings like desire or lust, not like this. There were maybe a handful of occasions where he was in heat and took a lover for the night disguised as a human but he saw them as more tools than mates. Pennywise couldn't even remember some of their names, he was pretty sure he ate a few after he was done with them too. But this oh this, this was completely different. This new feeling was not something he could just relieve and get on with his hunting. This was a burning need for someone he saw as an equal, someone like him. A fellow predator, a potential mate. He didn't want anyone else he wanted her. And he hated it.
As promised the next chapter will get STEAMY. So stay tuned for that.
#pennywise#pennywise the dancing clown#pennywise the clown#pennywise fanfiction#pennywise x oc#pennywise x reader#it (2017)#it fanfiction#monster roommate au
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