#there is nothing wrong with making kyrie a fighter too | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

spirit-of-the-void · 5 years

Note

Hey sweetpea! I’ve got some more angst for you! I hope these don’t feel too repetitive. If they do you can feel free to mix them up a bit! I was wondering if you could do a scenario where the boys are possessed or mind controlled, and they attack and hurt their s/o. Fluffy ending pls! Thank you so much for doing these! 🌸

I live for hurt comfort hell YES *slams fists on table* I’m opting for them losing their shit a bit in Devil Trigger forms instead of mind control or anything. Minus V, who doesnt have a devil trigger form.

Okay so I put WAY too much effort into these. Its four am. I am dying.

~Dante~

- You had never been around him while he was in that form, hell you weren’t even supposed to be there in the first place.

- When Dante didn’t return to Devil May Cry after the mission as quick as he promised, you grew worried, and set out on foot to find him now that the sky was growing dark. It was a mission in town, so why wasn’t he back yet? Surely something was wrong.

- This is why you hated letting him go on missions alone. You were no fighter, sure, but at this point he should have just bit the bullet and combined forces with Nero and Nico. Maybe hire on Trish and Lady to help out every once and a while.

- You walk for about ten minutes, finding the abandoned subway tunnel someone said was housing a nest of demons.

- You knew going down there alone and not a fighter was a dumb, foolish idea. You were armed with a basic revolver and daggers just to be safe, but you knew you were fast enough to run away if things got bad.

- If you were chased…well, you knew where Morrison lived, and you had your cell phone.

- You had already tried to call Dante, hell you called the others too. Nero could definitely make it in his Devil Trigger form, but you were reluctant to ask him when he was sticking so close to Kyrie during her pregnancy.

- Both Trish and Lady didn’t pick up. You assumed they were both off on missions of their own.

- You had no choice at this point.

- You walked into the subway tunnel, almost gagging at the smell of rot and sulfur. Definitely the home of demons.

- You still push forward despite the fear and anxiety that fills you, already seeing the trail of carnage Dante has left. He must have killed dozens of the things, bodies and blood on the floor as you quickly made your way past.

- “Dante…!” You called his name worriedly, voice echoing in the tunnel. You hear no response back, but can make out the faint sound of snarling and screeching in the tunnel further ahead. Sounds of fighting.

- You didn’t hear Dante. Maybe you should just turn around?

- But your worry kept you going. You quickened your steps, only stopping when the sound of fighting ceased. Now the sound of low, panting growls remained.

- Now was not the time to make noise. Something was glowing in the tunnel, growling and leaving a bright orange hue.

- You peeked around a piece of debris, eyes widening as you saw.

- What appeared to be another demon was standing there, slightly hunched and releasing panting growls. Sharp claws, sharp teeth, fire coming from its body. Bigger and badder looking than all the lower level creatures you had seen.

- You immediately gulped, taking a few steps back when you didn’t see Dante anywhere. This was bad. This was really bad. You were useless against even the lower level demons, but this…

- You didn’t make it far.

- One step back and a few rocks went tumbling behind you. Way too loud in the space. The noise echoed, making the demon snap its head around to look in your direction.

- You were so fucked.

- You immediately turned and began to dead sprint down the tunnel, heart pounding in your ears as you tried to put as much distance as you could between you and the creature.

- Another bad idea. As soon as it heard your feet pounding on concrete it came after you, and it was much faster than you were.

- The tunnel was so dark, it was hard to see where you were running but that didn’t matter anyway. The creature slammed into your back hard, shoving your face down with a choked screaming leaving your lips. It’s claws dug into your shoulders, a hard snarl rattling your ears as it landed on top of you.

- Heavy, so heavy you couldn’t breathe. You phone went sliding from your hand, as did the revolver you had.

- You could already feel blood warming your skin where its claws dug in, a strangled yelp leaving your mouth as you tried to struggle away.

- It bared its teeth, jerking you back and making a panicked scream leave your lips, “Dante…!”

- You immediately felt the creature freeze above you, the growl cut off in its throat.

- You were wheezing now, crying a bit as you tried to squirm away from the demon and escape.

- But something stopped you.

- You heard a rasping, demonic voice from above you whisper, “Sunshine?”

- Your eyes went wide, turning back to stare at its face with shock. You lashes still glistened with tears, voice shaken as you stammered, “D…Dante…?”

- The claws in your shoulders immediately retracted, weight from you gone and your body lifted and held against him protectively, frantically.

- Panicked gasps were leaving him now, becoming human and familiar as his body shifted back to the one you knew. The Dante you knew.

- You had never seen that form before, Dante barely even admitted he had it. You had to learn from Nero and the others about it, and even then they didn’t tell you much.

- He held you cradled against your chest, his hands frantically touching all over you, checking for wounds, stroking back your hair as he panted, “Fuck, oh fuck. I’m sorry babe. I’m so sorry…!”

- He touched the wounds on your shoulders, more frantic sounds leaving him. You were unbelievably shaken, but more so relieved to see him.

- “Fuck, I didn’t know it was you…!” Dante rasped, grunting when you wrapped your arms around his neck and hugged him hard.

- You were crying more now, just so happy to see he was alright.

- “Are you okay?” Dante peppered kisses to your neck, holding you close and wiping away some of your tears, “Fuck, babe, what the hell are you doing down here…? I told you to wait for me at home.”

- You sniffled lightly, leaning back to look at him with watery eyes, “It was already so late…I was afraid something had happened to you…!”

- Dante let out a shaken breath, holding your face in his hands so he could stare at your tear stained face. His eyes were so guilty, searching over you as he stroked some of the tears away.

- “I promised you I’d always come home,” He whispered, more serious than you had ever heard him, “This was my fault. It took more time than I expected, and that caused you to get hurt. I hurt you.”

- You shook your head, hugging yourself to him again and closing your eyes. You didn’t care about that, you just cared that nothing terrible had happened to him. Sure, the experience was a bit scary, and your shoulders and back were hurting. But you would heal, and that was fine.

- “I’ve never seen that form before,” You whispered, sniffling a bit as his strong arms wrapped around you, “You never showed me.”

- He sighed at that, “My fault too. I didn’t want to scare you…some fucking genius I am.”

- You sniffled more, whispering softly, “I love you…no part of you would ever scare me, Dante.”

- Wow, his heart was fucking aching at that. You were so good to him, too good. Precious, something worth protecting. Something worth fighting for. And he had hurt you.

- “I’ve never been the smart one, sunshine,” He grumbled, trying to hide just how emotional your words made him as he pressed his face to your neck, “You’ve always been the one with brains. Fuck, I’m so sorry.”

- “Stop,” You whispered, leaning back so you could kiss him. He immediately grunted, threading his fingers in your hair and kissing you back. When you pulled away you added, “Can we go home..? I think…we both need some time to talk and relax.”

- He nodded easily, standing up and lifting you with him, “Agreed…I need to dress your wounds.” He sounded so guilty when he said that, starting forward and holding you bridal style.

- He only stopped to swoop a hand down, grabbing your smashed cell phone and your gun. He sighed at the phone, tucking it into his pocket with even more guilt.

- “I’ll buy you a new phone, sugar,” He promised, kissing your soft lips again until you groaned, “A better one too.”

- You sighed softly, eyeing him with soft eyes as you replied, “Are you my sugar daddy then?”

- He paused, a hesitant smirk quirking his lips as he asked, “Do you want me to be.”

- “No,” You replied firmly, wrapping your arms around your neck and holding yourself to him, “I just want you.”

- Dante sucked in a shaken breath, holding you ever closer as he carried you out of the abandoned subway tunnel.

- “You already have me, love. I’m all yours.”

~Vergil~

- Vergil had always been prone to nightmares, it was why at first he was prone to sleeping alone.

- It had taken months to coax him to your bed, and even then he slept sporadically, in bursts. It took him months to accept the change, and even longer to settle with you enough to allow you to see him so vulnerable.

- But his nightmares had never been like this.

- He had gone to bed before you–you had some final things to work on before sleeping, ones that took you an extra hour before you were supposed to retire for the evening.

- At first you weren’t going to go right to bed. You sat in the kitchen for a bit, feeling kind of restless and wondering if you should make a cup of tea to settle yourself. When you tossed and turned it made Vergil cranky, so you didn’t want to risk upsetting him after he had just grown used to sharing a bed.

- You were just about to put the water on when you heard a strange sound coming from your room. Something caught between a growl and gasping.

- You immediately turned off the stove, concern filling you as you walked toward your room. The sound was deeply unsettling, something you weren’t used to in your own home.

- After pushing open your bedroom door, you immediately knew what was wrong.

- Vergil was in Sin Devil Trigger form on the bed, the noise coming from him.

- You had seen this form only a couple times before, most times in battle. Only once did Vergil take on this form to show it to you personally, to let you feel his horns, his claws, the armor-like exterior. It fascinated you, but he seemed reluctant to have it out around you.

- Never once had you seen him turn into this form while asleep, and that itself told you he must have been having a bad dream.

- You rushed to his side, unsure of what to do while he twitched and let out rasping growls, claws digging into your mattress.

- You had to wake him up, otherwise he would rip your bed to shreds.

- But you no sooner placed your hands on his face, and he practically explodes underneath you.

- Your throat is grabbed in the next instant, a startled squeak of alarm escaping your throat as you’re slammed into the floorboards. All the air is jostled from your lungs in a choked sound, the wind literally knocked out of you as his large form towered over.

- Both his hands were gripping your throat now, your head spinning as you struggled to breath. You stared with shocked eyes, seeing he was still partially asleep as he let out panicked, rasping growls.

- He was still seeing his nightmare. He didn’t know he was attacking you. Something had made him lash out to defend himself.

- His claws were digging in, drawing blood as you kicked and tried to fight him off, fear filling your head as your oxygen depleted. He was so strong in this form, his face unreadable and those claws so sharp.

- He was going to kill you. If you didn’t do something he was going to strangle you. He wasn’t in his right mind, he wasn’t awake. You needed to wake him up.

- You lifted your trembling fingers to his face, struggling for air even as you gently stroked his demonic features. You weren’t a threat, he needed to know that. He needed to recognize you.

- You voice was weak, strangled as you managed to get out, “B…baby…please…please it’s…me…!”

- You were lucky enough that your words reached him in his panicked frenzy.

- He let out a strange sound, head snapping back and even more panicked gasps escaping him now that he was truly seeing who he was hurting. You felt his vise tight grip on your throat loosen, his hands beginning to shake as a few tears dripped from your eyes.

- What the hell was he doing…? You were underneath him, you were crying, you were…

- He slowly pulled his claws back, seeing your blood on them, seeing the red on your neck from his scratches. Bruising, he had hurt you. You started coughing and gasping as soon as his hands were off you, practically choking now that the air was filling your lungs again.

- He had almost strangled you. He had almost killed you.

- He stumbled back, blinding panic filling him as he continued to look at his hands. All he could see was your blood, the look on your face when he had snapped back into reality.

- He couldn’t take it. He was falling to pieces inside.

- He morphed back into human form, his expression shattering your heart as you sat up, holding your throat and staring at him.

- You had never seen him look that afraid, that vulnerable. That mortified.

- “What have I done…?” He rasped, his tone broken as he continued to stare at his hands. He was hyperventilating now, panicking even more as he put his hands to his head, “What have I…what have I…”

- You immediately scrambled toward him, wanting to stop his panic attack before it got any worse. You had just gotten close to him, you didn’t want to lose him now.

- You fell into his lap, wrapping your arms firmly around his neck as you whispered, “Stop…! It’s okay, I’m okay baby. Breathe, just breathe.”

- You thought he was going to push you away, but he didn’t. He stared in front of him like he wasn’t seeing anything, his sharp jaw clenched with each panting gasp and his eyes almost glassy.

- “I hurt you,” He rasped, his chest practically heaving now, “My doll. I almost killed you. I could have. I could have snapped your neck. I could have…I…”

- You shook your head, hugging yourself closer as you whispered, “I’m okay. I am. You didn’t know what you were doing, you were having a nightmare, Vergil.”

- He wasn’t soothed. You could tell he wasn’t. His breathing became more ragged, his hands hanging at his side as he tilted his head back a bit.

- And Vergil did something you had never seen in all the time you knew him.

- He began to cry.

- A few stray tears rolled down his face, his eyes wide and shocked as you stared at him, touching the wetness with your fingers. He didn’t sob, the only sound leaving him was that panicked rasping. It broke you in two in an instant.

- “I hurt you…I almost killed you, Doll…” He repeated in that broken, rasping tone. His expression shifted to something so exhausted, heart-breakingly so as he leaned forward, resting his head on your shoulder, “I hurt everyone in my life. I hurt so many people….what a monster I am.”

- “Stop, please,” You whimpered, holding him close and stroking back his hair, “Please Vergil. Please. It’s okay, everything will be okay.”

- His arms finally snaked around your waist, holding you like you were a lifeline to his hard body. His hands were still shaking, his breath short and quick as the warmth of your body registered with him.

- “Of all the blood that stains my hands,” He whispered, the wetness of his sharp cheeks moistening your shirt, “I never wanted to see yours. Never yours, Doll. My hands are drenched in sin and carnage and I never wanted that stain to touch you, for you to be a part of it.”

- There was so much guilt there, so much pain. You knew of his past, knew of the death he had caused and the terrible things he had done. You wanted to help him learn how to be human, to accept his mistakes. It never occurred to you that they were destroying him.

- You squeezed him tighter, pressing a kiss to his temple as you stroked back his silvery hair.

- “Please…let me help you,” You whispered, your own eyes tearing up as you continued to hold him, “Please Vergil. You can’t keep going like this, holding everything in until you burst,” You leaned back, pressing a kiss to his forehead, “You had a nightmare…you were disoriented and scared and you lashed out. I’m okay…I swear I am. I’m not made of glass, or porcelain.”

- As much as you loved his nickname, in reality you were weren’t a fragile doll.

- He remained silent, his eyes tired now as he stared without seeing anything. He was coming down from the panic, the nightmare. You could tell that much. He was going into numb mode, and you didn’t want that either.

- You pressed your lips to his, gently kissing as you cupped his cheeks.

- “It’ll be okay,” You whispered, “We will figure it out. But you can’t run away from it, or me,” You took his hands and placed them gently on your neck, where his claws had left scratches and bruises. Gentle, feather-light. No fear and no more pain, “I will heal and I’ll be fine.”

- He swallowed visibly, his sharp eyes staring at the marks with deep regret.

- “You are too good for me,” He whispered, sounding incredibly guilty. Like you were a prize he didn’t deserve, especially after all he had done, “Doll…Why do you even put up with me? I am a man deserving of nothing.” He deserved nothing and you were…everything

- You smiled softly, pressing another kiss to his cheek as you replied, “Because I love you, slick. And you don’t get to decide who I’m too good for, I do.”

- With that, you pulled him to his feet, pressing another kiss to his lips this time as you added, “Now, let’s go get some tea, some food. And we will talk about what happened.”

- He remains quiet, watching you with dazed eyes as you lead him out of the room.

~V~

- V had been missing for several days.

- You were an absolute nervous wreck, bouncing between demon nests with a few other demon hunters as you all searched for him. You didn’t know what to do, what would happen if you didn’t find him alive.

- You and the poet had been fighting demons together when he had been taken, snatched through a portal by a bigger demon when neither of you had been looking. Something had subdued him, some sort of gas made him go unconscious and his familiars returned to him. There had been no fight for him to give.

- You were with Nero, Dante, and Lady now. Searching yet another demon’s lair for your lover. This one was bigger than the others, taking up multiple floors.

- You decided on the top floor alone. You were a skilled fighter, you could handle whatever this place threw at you.

- What you couldn’t handle when you got there was the sight of V, strung up by tendrils of flesh in the middle of the room.

- Seeing him after your days long search made your heart race in shock and relief, you rushing into the room without thinking. There were no other demons in the room, no enemies on this floor.

- You slashed at the flesh holding him up, catching him in your arms and easing him to the floor.

- Christ, he was alive. He was still breathing. That alone was a relief.

- You set him down on the ground, hearing him stirring a bit even as you turned to call for Dante and the others. You would need help to carry V out, he needed a Doctor.

- What you didn’t expect was to feel his cane pierce your shoulder when your back was turned, making you let out a startled shriek of pain.

- You whipped around in the next instant, the metal object ripping out of you as you stared at V in absolute shock.

- Something was wrong. You could tell that right away.

- His eyes were glazed over, glassy as he swayed from side to side. You clutched that the wound he had left, panting as you took a few steps back.

- You knew a possession when you saw one. V was strong willed, but if they broke him down enough they could easily force something on him. This was not good. This was definitely not good. If you fought him, you would hurt him, and judging by the cuts and heavy bruising on his body he couldn’t take much more.

- His expression was blank when he lifted his cane, pointing it at you and summoning Griffon and Shadow. You half expected them to be under the influence too, especially when they came out ready to attack what V was focused on.

- But Griffon immediately came to a screeching halt, Shadow sliding on their claws as they stared at your panting form in confusion.

- “What the fuck?” Griffon squawked, flapping his wings wildly as he stared at you, turning his annoyed gaze to stare at V, “Yo, genius, what the hell are you–”

- V slammed his cane into the ground, the order to attack loud and clear. Both familiars jolted, Griffon letting out a pained yelp as V’s command jolted through his skull.

- “What are you doing?!” He screeched at his master, shaking his head over and over as he resisted the command, “I’m not blasting your fucking girlfriend…!”

- Shadow let out a strangled snarl, rubbing its face over and over with its paws as spikes tried forming from its pelt.

- He was trying to use his ability as their master to force them to attack. Which was definitely bad.

- You were panting with fear and panic, voice broken as you said, “He’s possessed…! We have to do something…!”

- “Are you fucking kidding me…?” Griffon hissed, landing on the ground and pressed his beak downwards, “Son of a bitch…! Whatever you’re gonna do, you had better do it quick…!”

- You heard Griffon let out another loud sound of annoyance, shouting at Shadow, “Knock Shakespeare on his ass…!”

- Shadow let out a low snarl, whipping around and running at V while it was still able. You bolted forward with her, heart pounding as you saw V raise that cane again.

- Shadow’s black pelt twitched, a couple spikes shooting out at you and slicing your arms. Shadow still seemed in semi-control, letting out a roar as their paws hit V’s shoulders, teeth snapping onto his cane.

- You saw the poet struggle, but he was in no way strong enough to fight the cat. They ripped the cane away, sending it skidding across the floor with a metallic crack.

- You were there in an instant, sitting on top of V, panting and several parts of your shoulders stinging in agony. But you didn’t care, you couldn’t care.

- Bringing V back was all that mattered.

- He stared at you with those glassy eyes, panting and struggling against you. Whatever was possessing him hadn’t been there for long, that much you could tell. V was so hurt, his body too battered and weak to put up a true fight.

- He needed help, god he needed help.

- You cupped his cheeks, ignoring his hands as they tried to grasp around your throat.

- “I know there’s some more fight in there,” You breathed to him, stroking his ebony hair back as his fingers slipped over your skin, “Come on, darling. You can do this. Come back to me.”

- You saw his face twitch as soon as you used your favorite nickname for him, his jaw tightening. That was the way to do it, that was the way to reach him.

- You started quoting William Blake to him, stroking your hands over his face. Touching his lips, his cheeks, his jaw. Every part of him you adored, everything you loved. These few days without him had been so frightening, so achingly lonely. You needed him to know that.

- “I miss you,” You murmured to your poet, voice growing louder when he groaned, putting his hands to his head and his body beginning to thrash under you, “Please, I want to go home, V. I want us both to go home.”

- That was the way.

- He jolted, beginning to gag and retch as he eyes rolled back into his head. He was rejecting whatever had him, so you had to act fast.

- You gasped, immediately rolling him over, holding his hair back as he started to vomit.

- He hadn’t eaten anything in a few days, all that came out was stomach bile until…something else.

- He gagged more, retching as something black oozed out from his mouth. What the fuck was that?

- It all came out, the poet hacking painfully and groaning as you held him, feeling his senses coming back.

- The blob of black goo formed several red eyes, teeth opening and hissing at you. It started to scurry away, but Shadow pounced on it in an instant, snarling loudly as it was pinned under their paws. It struggled and shrieked, writhing sporadically and unable to get away.

- You had no fucking clue what demon type it was, but it was as good as dead.

- And through it all, V wheezed and coughed, his body drooping forward as he rested his weight on one arm. He was shaking, trembling and weak as his body cast out the last of the traces of that creature from his system.

- “Oh darling,” You whimpered, pressing kisses to his head and pulling him against you, “Are you okay? Are you alright?”

- He groaned, his head lolling back a bit as you smoothed some more of his hair away. Griffon landed next to you both, eyeing the poet with worry as he took in his absolutely messed up form.

- “What the fuck happened?!” The bird asked in an astonished tone, looking around the demonic layer in confusion, “How did we get here…?”

- You winced, letting out a light sigh, “Long story.”

- V let out another groan, his voice weak and rasping as he muttered, “Sparrow…I’m…sorry…”

- “Shh…” You shushed him, holding him close and pressing a kiss to his temple. He felt feverish, clammy. You needed to get him out of here and fast, “We’re going to get you some help. Griffon, The others are downstairs. Get Nero and Dante up here…!”

- “On it!” The bird didn’t hesitate, darting in a flash of feathers out of the room.

- You kept holding V, whispering sweet nothings to him as you kept stroking his hair. You needed to do better. You needed to do better to protect him from things like this. Had you been more careful, this could have been prevented, you could have saved him before some gross demon was forced inside of him.

- “Hurt…you…” V murmured, his jade eyes opening to stare at you weakly, “Forgive me.”

- You put a finger to his lips, wiping away some blood from his lips as you replied, “Hush. You did nothing wrong love. Everything will be okay.”

- V closed his eyes, letting out a slow breath as he leaned into your touch. You both needed this after the days apart. You both needed each other.

- Dante and Nero came sprinting into the room moments later, both shocked to see V’s battered form in your bleeding arms. They didn’t hesitate, Dante lifting up your lover easily to carry him out.

- Nero stopped, staring at Shadow holding the black goo on the ground. He merely gestured with his chin, pulling out a pistol to point it at the creature. Shadow lifted their paws almost comically, then the creature was blasted into nothingness.

- You ignored your own wounds despite the piercing from V’s cane, making sure V was comfortable in the van on your way to a doctor before you’d even let Dante and Nico touch you.

-Luckily, Griffon was smart enough to grab V’s cane before you set out.

- V made a full recovery in the following weeks, but he refused to stop apologizing for stabbing you. Despite how many times you told him it wasn’t his fault.

- It was something you doubted he would ever live down.

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#Dante #Vergil #V #dante x reader #vergil x reader #v x reader #angst #request #head canon #devil may cry v #devil may cry #dante devil may cry #vergil devil may cry #v devil may cry

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fox1656 · 4 years

Text

Shadow Chronicles 9

LIVING A GAME

David was Eliot Parks’ brother, and when Eliot saw him, he ran up to him, and they clapped each other on the shoulder. After David arrived, Cassandra set down a burlap sack, and she reached inside, and started handing out gifts that she said might help them on their quest to save Kathy, and finish the game.

David was of regular height for his age, and he had blonde hair.

To Eliot, Cassandra gave a sword, and she said, “It is said this blade will pierce any kind of armor.”

“Thank you,” Eliot said, as he took the sword.

She turned to Elizabeth next, and she gave her a strong-looking crossbow, and said, “This crossbow has deadly accuracy. Just point it in the direction of something, and shoot and it will hit the target.”

“Thank you,” Elizabeth replied.

Cassandra then turned to Sam, and handed him what looked like a coiled-up snake, and said, “This whip will send out a lightning bolt whenever you crack it, and the lightning bolt should devastate any foe that you meet, but it will only work when you are in dire need of it.”

“Thanks,” Sam said with wonder.

“David,” Cassandra said, and she reached inside the bag, and pulled out what appeared to be a sledge hammer, with an oversized head. “I present you with this hammer. Be careful, because if you hit the ground with it, it will start an earthquake that might cause a disruption in the game, so whatever you do, don’t drop it. It also deals an awesome amount of damage.”

Finally, she turned to Brian and held out a small golden box, and said, “When you open this box, you shall receive any weapon that you should want or need.”

“Thank you,” Brian said, “But how many times will that work?”

Cassandra smiled and chuckled, and then she said, “However many times you should need it to, sweetie,” Cassandra replied, “Don't worry, Elizabeth, I haven't forgotten Kathy." Elizabeth looked at Cassandra in amazement. "Here, take these to her.” Cassandra handed Elizabeth three items: a sword, a bow, and a portable TV, “The TV has a video stored on it that will tell Kathy how to use her gifts.”

“Thank you again, Lady Cassandra, I don’t know how we could ever repay you,” Elizabeth said, and they all touched the big TV, and were instantly sucked into the game.

Once they were inside the game, they revived Kathy and gave her the bow, the sword, and the TV.

Immediately after she received the three items, she walked away from the others, turned on the TV and watched the video. After the video was over, she took a long, curved strip off the bow, and applied it to the sharp side of the swords blade. She then took the bow and put it on the dull side of the swords blade, and then she pressed a button on the swords handle, and she bent the handle to look like a gun handle, and a trigger popped out from the handle. She pulled the trigger a few times and three white-pink blasts flew out over the desert.

“It's a laser-crossbow!” Kathy exclaimed, as she ran up to the rest of the gang. “It can also be a laser-bow!”

“Why are you smiling so much?” Eliot asked.

“Because this is too cool,” Kathy replied.

“Kathy,” David said, “What game are we in?”

“Razor Blades 1,” Elizabeth and Kathy said simultaneously. They then looked at each other amazed at what they had just happened, and then they laughed.

“It's the most awesome game ever invented,” Kathy exclaimed, “Maybe; just maybe, we will be able to see the characters from the game!”

“Kathy,” Brian said suddenly, “I think we are the characters from the game.”

“REALLY!?” Kathy exclaimed.

“Yeah,” Elizabeth said, “Because I don’t see the people that were standing around you when you were unconscious.”

“If we are the characters from the game,” Kathy said, inquisitively, “Then who am I?”

Just then, a voice boomed across the sky and it said, “This is what your names will be,” the voice (obviously Lady Cassandra’s) said, “Kathy, you will be Kyrie; Sam, you will be Mike; Elizabeth, you will be Deidre; Eliot, you will be Peter; Brian, you will be Stephan; and David, you will be Matt. Any objections?”

“Yes,” Kathy said, “I don't like Matt, I like Peter.”

“But Eliot is too tall to be Matt,” Cassandra said.

“What are you talking about?” Matt asked.

“Kyrie and Matt are in love in the game,” Kyrie explained.

Just then, Matt started making retching sounds. Deidre heard this, and she slapped him on the back of the head, as hard as she could, and he stumbled forward, and stopped retching immediately.

“You don't have to follow all of the rules of the game,” Cassandra said.

“So I can get together with Peter?” Kyrie asked, and Cassandra said, “Sure,” and Kyrie said, “SWEET!,” and she ran up to Peter and kissed him on the cheek, and when they heard this, they all looked at Peter, who was holding Kyrie's hand, and blushing profusely. “I love you,” Kyrie said to Peter.

“Ewwwwwww,” Mike said, “That's gross.”

“What's so gross about that?” Kyrie said, “We're in love!”

“YEAH!” Deidre said, “So let them kiss if they choose to.”

They then moved on.

Not long after they started moving they had their first battle, with something that Kyrie and Sam called, 'million brainless' creatures.

Their first battle was surprisingly easy, and it only lasted two minutes.

Now, at the second part of the game, they finally finished the game. They skipped the first part of the game, because nothing interesting was happening.

“This is so boring. All we do is walk. I want some action!” Mike said.

“Oh, shut up! This might be boring, but you just have to think, we don't know what might happen if we die in this game; it's probably completely different from the regular game!” Kyrie exclaimed.

“I guess . . .” Mike started, and then, “Wait, did you guys hear that?”

“What?” Deidre asked.

CRASH!

“THAT!” Mike yelled, as he spun around.

“Look at all of those brainless; and anti-bodies! This is all your fault, Mike! You just had to say that the game was getting boring; you practically invited them!” Kyrie yelled over all of the crashing.

The battle was very gory, but the heroes prevailed, but not all of them lived.

Just as Kyrie finished off one of the last anti-bodies, she looked around, and said, “Hey! Where's Deidre?” She looked again and her eyes grew wide, as she realized what was happening; she suddenly started running as fast as she could toward where Deidre was, fighting off five anti-bodies at once, and Kathy screamed, “Deidre! There's too many; RUN! RUN! For the love of all that is holy; RUN!”

“Kyrie; what's wrong?!” Peter yelled.

“It's Deidre! We have to help Deidre!” Kyrie screamed, still running toward Deidre. They ran as fast as they could, but it seemed that no matter how fast they ran, they didn't get anywhere, just like in a bad dream, and they were only about five feet from Deidre, when there was a big blast of blinding white light, and they heard an agonized scream. A shockwave flew out across the desert floor, and it killed all of the brainless and anti-bodies, and then all was quiet. The anti-bodies and brainless disappeared when they were hit with the blast of light.

Kyrie and Mike were the first to reach Deidre, but when the others got there, it was far too late. Deidre was lying on the ground, not five feet from Kyrie, and her eyes were already glazed. Stephan ran to her side and saw the glaze on her eyes, and he almost screamed with anger, but instead he said, “No, this can't be happening,” as tears streamed down his face, “How could they? If we had just gotten here a little sooner . . . and now she's dead; she's really . . . gone!”

“She did it to herself,” Kyrie said, “The blast sucked out all of her power, and she was weak enough that it killed her. This isn't fair. This wasn't supposed to happen; this is all your fault, Mike!”

“ME!? You are the game-pro, why didn't you save her!? You are; in fact, the warrior princess. You're supposed to be more powerful than the rest of us!” Mike retorted.

“Guys!” Stephan yelled, “We just lost our best friend, and you two go blaming each other for it!?”

After Stephan said that, Deidre’s body started glowing faintly, and then it disappeared into thin air.

Kyrie stood up, looked around, and then walked off in the direction that they all supposed would be north, with tears streaming down her cheeks.

“We need to get moving,” Matt said in a voice that was so low that it was almost inaudible.

When Peter turned to Brian, he noticed that he also had tears streaming down his face, and he turned his face toward the sunset, and he thought of the day last fall, when he tried and failed to write a story. The story was for Matt, and it was supposed to be about Greek mythology, which Matt liked very much. By the time he finished the story, it was spring, and Matt was no longer interested in Greek mythology, and so Peter threw the story in the trash, and sat in his room for three weeks, without going anywhere, and he blamed himself for Matt changing his mind on liking Greek mythology, but now, he realized that it is his fault, just as much as it is Kyrie's, or Mike’s, or Stephan's fault that Deidre died.

“Let them have some rest,” Peter said turning on his brother, “They just lost their friend; I don't know why you don't want to rest, but you should, unless you are against us.”

“But I am with you,” Matt said.

“Well then,” Stephan said, “Let's just see if you are against us, or with us. I will fight you, and if you are against us, you may just win, and if you are with us, you will lose.”

Hearing that he would have to lose to gain their trust, reminded Matt of a game that he liked in the real world, where you had to die in order to win.

Stephan and Matt put their weapons aside, and they fought with their fists, and after at least a hundred blows, Matt fell to the ground, unconscious. Matt wasn’t a bad fighter, he just didn't defend himself, just to show them that they could trust him. He also did it for Deidre, who he loved, even though he had known her only a few hours.

“Now what,” Stephan asked, “Do we move on, or do we stay here until Matt wakes up?”

“We stay,” Peter said, “Not only is he my brother, but he's my friend also, and I have no doubt that he is your friend, and we don't need to lose another friend.”

So Peter walked over to Matt, and used his powers, and healed him, and then they stayed there until Matt awoke, and they mourned the death of Deidre an hour more.

Matt had really wanted to leave the group to avenge Deirdre, but that was not what the group needed, so Stephan, sensing that Matt wanted to leave, fought him and knocked him out to stop him going out on his own and getting hurt; or worse, killed. It was imperative that they stay together, because they still had to destroy the final boss that would show up at any time.

One bad part of their journey was that they did not know that their next battle would be their last, and they also did not know that at their final battle in the game, they would find a mysterious warrior, who would help them fight the final boss and finish the game.

They stayed in the same place, until late afternoon, and right when they were getting ready to go on, Kyrie walked up.

“Hey, where'd you go,” Stephan asked.

“Go?” Kyrie asked, as if she had no idea what Stephan was talking about, and then, “OH! I've been gone since early this morning. You know, after . . . that happened,” by now, she had no sign of sorrow in her voice, “I just had to calm down, you know,” she looked at the other's expressions of surprise, smiled sadly, and then said, “You guys didn't notice that I was gone, did you?”

“I didn't notice, or care,” Matt said.

SLAP!

“You know, I sort of noticed that you were gone,” Mike said, “Not a minute before you walked up.”

SLAP!

“I noticed that you were gone, Kyrie, my love,” Peter said.

“You did, Peter?” Kyrie asked.

“No, I really didn't; sorry,” he replied.

SMACK!

“You boys suck,” Kyrie said angrily to Matt, Mike, and Peter.

“What was that for?” Peter asked.

“You deserved it,” Matt said, “and it was kind of funny,” and at that they all burst out laughing.

“Don't you guys think that we should get going,” Mike said, after the laughing fit was over.

“Mike,” Stephan said, still laughing, “If you ask any more questions, we will all fight you, and maybe we can send you back to level one.”

“Fair enough,” Mike replied.

Something that the gang did not know was that they were very near to the final level of the game.

“Guys,” Kyrie said, “Somebody remind me not to get near the TV screen when we get back.”

Right after Kyrie said that, a bright dome of light blasted out over the dessert, and then they heard a voice say, “TAKE THAT!!” When the voice finished, the light faded into a small glow, and then it was gone all together. Standing where the light had been, there was a girl standing there that looked like Elizabeth (Deidre); in fact, it was her. She turned around, and when she saw them, she said, “Hello, strangers, I am Kraal, the warrior princess, and who might you five be?”

Then the group, dumbfounded, introduced themselves to Kraal. When they were all re-introduced, Eliot (Peter) said, “I have never seen such a beautiful being as you before, Kraal.”

SMACK!

“I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!” Kyrie yelled as she jumped onto Peters back. While Kyrie was wrestling with Peter the rest of the gang talked to Kraal.

“Okay,” Brian said, “We’re trying to get through this ga . . .” He was cut off by Mike, who whispered in Stephan’s ear, “She doesn’t remember us; if we tell her this is a game; it could be bad for all of us.”

“You know,” Stephan said, “For once, you’re right.”

“I’m always right,” Mike said.

At that moment, Kyrie came walking back, and when Stephan saw her, he said, “Where’s Peter?”

“Oh, Jerk Boy? He’s over there,” Kyrie said, glancing over her left shoulder at Peter. The rest of them looked, and there was Peter sitting on the ground, with his arms on his knees and his hands dangling between his legs. “He’s such an idiot, it’s really unbelievable.” She then stalked off toward Peter, and when she got to him she slowed down enough to slap him on the back of the head, and then she continued walking.

“What were you saying?” Kraal asked.

“Oh,” Stephan said, “Forget about that. Do you know what’s up ahead?”

“Yes, I do,” Kraal said, “It’s the final boss.”

Once Kyrie returned from where ever she had gone, they set out to defeat the final boss of the game.

Two minutes after they got moving, they met the final boss.

“My Name is Anorak,” the monster said, “And I will certainly defeat you once more, Kraal, warrior princess.”

“No you won’t,” Kraal said, “I have brought assistance.”

“So you have,” Anorak said, “But still you will fail.”

Anorak was a great big creature; he stood at about a hundred feet tall. He looked like a strong man with muscles all over his body. His skin color was a deep purple, and he had two curling ram horns protruding out of his forehead, which was balled, and so was the rest of his head.

The team fought Anorak, and they beat him in less than twenty minutes, even though Anorak was the hardest boss that they had ever fought.

Once they beat the boss, everything turned white, and then they were lifted into the air. Within a few seconds, they were once more back in the basement, looking at the TV screen that they had used to enter the game through.

#shadowchronicles

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11. Chinese Big Baller Bail - Awful NBA Officiating - Not Much Hornets Buzz - Eric Bledsoe Gets out of Phoenix

Greg: Hello and welcome to another episode of Double Drivel. We are a weekly podcast offering a fan's perspective on the news and issues surrounding the NBA. Thank you for joining us. My name is Greg and I am joined as always by my co-host JT. You can find us on Twitter @doubledrivelers or email us at [email protected]. JT what up my friend?

JT: Hey Greg, not too much at all. Hanging in there, watching basketball, living life, playing a little at the old local Y

Greg: Getting down?

JT: I played today. A lot of elbows being thrown there Greg. They're dirty elbows. We had a good time. That's how they do it down there.

Greg: We got some great stories this week. Harden goes for 56 on the Jazz, I know you like that story. Eric Bledsoe is going to the Bucks. We’ll start with some piss-poor officiating. What is going on in Oklahoma City?

JT: Can I be so bold as to say they're being targeted?

Greg: I don't know if you can say they're being targeted. They have some aggressive offensive players. They are high profile players. They draw more eyes on them to begin with, but both Carmelo and Westbrook got the shit end of lousy calls in the past few days.

JT:As bad as the Westbrook one was I think Carmelo's ejection was worse.

Greg: Will you please go through the tale of why Carmelo got ejected on an offensive play?

JT: They were playing the Blazers. It was confusing to watch because Melo comes with a double clutch layup kind of like leaping, in and it goes in. It looked like he drew contact. He’s getting ready to take his free-throw shot, and they chose to give the play a review real quick. They were like yeah, we're gonna eject you instead. Here's a quote from the dumb zebra, “We deemed that the contact was excessive and not a natural basketball move whereas he is seeking out near catch that hitting him in the face with an elbow and then goes back to the basket and scores.” This seems like a lot of thinking in the air from this take, if you ask me. Jump off the ground, look around, bop this guy in the face with an elbow, then turn around and go back to playing basketball, all while your feet are off the ground.

Greg: It's possible, it just seems pretty calculated. He went from making a great basketball move to getting called.

JT: Loving it my man. Hit a great shot. A very Carmelo shot. That is a very characteristic shot for him to take. That's how he drives and takes laps. That's how a lot of players in the NBA go to the hole and make some off-balance shots with limbs flying.

Greg: The funny thing is when you raise your arms they're about the height of heads, and it's the damnedest thing, things the same height might occasionally hit into each other. He goes, makes a great move, gets the call with the n1, and 'm not gonna say mysteriously, they reviewed the play. They did go over and review it and they came back with a crazy explanation. Who wrote that? Who even said that and can take themselves seriously? He drove to the basket and took a shot, there was nothing more than that. I didn't see any bad intentions on those elbows. I didn't see any anything to that effect.

JT: That's just the wrong call. After the game they asked Melo if he wanted to say anything about it, and he said I don't have anything to say about that play. I think the league will do what's right. He’s taking the high road. Is that what Carmelo Anthony is known for?

Greg: Poor officiating there, and nobody likes that. The next night Russell Westbrook goes to one of his well known spots on the court. Russell Westbrook plays. He won

MVP last year, he's Russell Westbrook. For him to get called on this kind of offensive shot, where he stopped and was looking for contact? This was not a malicious intent of any sort. He went from getting what should have been a one and done, to a flagrant one.

JT: That's absolutely insane. Come on guys. I thought on this play. They were playing the Kings. We're talking about bottom boy on offense Greg. Another Eastern European guy. Westbrook took a jump shot, and I thought they were gonna call him for kicking his feet out. It looked like he did maybe a little bit. Still not enough to be called in my opinion. They got him for a follow through. An unnatural follow-through. He smacked Boyd, son a bitch, in the face top to bottom style. Three Stooges style. He sold it. He flopped. This fucker, he played his part to get the reaction.

Greg: In the previous, story oddly enough, it was also a fellow Eastern European with Bogdanovich.

JT: Here's the thing about Eastern Europeans, they're very tough. Arguably the greatest heavyweight cage fighter of all time, Fedor Emelianenko, is Eastern European. He's

a legend. Another championship boxer, Yvonne Drago from Russia. He’s very much a champion. These guys are tough, they don't need to be flopping. They don't need to be doing this. They don't endear themselves to any of the other fans in the league by playing that way.

Greg: Eric Bledsoe whined and successfully got his trade. He was the one who famously went on Twitter and said, “I don't want to be here.” He said was talking about a hair salon and hilarity ensued. The Twitter pictures, the jokes, the everything. It was all fun and games, but he got his way. He's going to a better team. He's going to a team that's on the rise. They’ve got some great players to play with now, and I hate this. How do you feel?

JT: It's rewarding bad behavior. He basically decided he didn't want to be there. He tweets I don't want to be here. The league find him $10,000 for that. Two weeks later he's traded and gone. Ten thousand dollars well spent. Ten thousand dollars! What does that mean? This definitely makes the Bucs a better team Greg. I don't know anything about Monroe, but they got a draft pick to the Suns.

Greg: I hope Bledsoe doesn't ruin what seems to be a pretty cool thing going on in in Milwaukee.

JT: If it was three or four years ago I might have wanted Greg Monroe, but I can't imagine wanting him now. He's just taking the spot and probably some money for the trade. When Kyrie Irving successfully got traded that “we don't like this, and this is not this,” I don't think a lot of people like that. It's gross.

Greg: The NBA is lucky enough to have guaranteed contracts. The NFL would kill for guaranteed contracts. If they're gonna get all the money the NBA should at least play all

the time, that's just fair. If they want to get traded or something that's business. Refusing to play is garbage. It is just not cool.

Something that you're very passionate about, the Utah Jazz got a spanking from the beard, James Harden. The other day he scored 56 points. It didn't look like he could miss. I know you intently watched him hit every shot. What do you think of that game?

JT: Things aren't great in Utah Gregg. The defense is okay, but it hasn't been phenomenal. Harden couldn't fucking miss. He had 22 points in the first quarter. He knew it was gonna be a long night after that.

Greg: You texted me when he had 22 in the first. I knew you weren't gonna have a good night I don't even know if I replied, I just knew it was gonna beone of those nights.

JT: He tried some different things, but he ended up with 56. The Jazz lost by a lot.

Greg: That's why Harden is consistent MVP candidate. He can put up big numbers like that.

JT: I don't care for his style of play either. I don't think that Chris Paul is going to make that much of a difference either. The first game they played together, it not only didn't look like it was working that night, but a lot of people said what is the real plan? It's gonna be great to have two good players.

JT: It never hurts, but it's too similar in the position. It's not gonna work, especially because Harden’s getting used to scoring all these points. He's playing exactly how he was playing last year. He's just continuing.

Greg: Is Chris Paul gonna hinder that at all?

JT: I know you don't agree, but I think Chris Paul is gonna be in a backup kind of position. They will let Harden either start, and play the point guard, or Chris Paul's gonna come off the bench

and lead a second. He's slowed down a little bit. He's smart enough to know if Harden can put up these kind of numbers, you don't want to interfere with that. You want to like see where you can complement him. That's gonna be when he needs a break.

Greg: It doesn't seem like they need to help scoring points. They could use his other talents with the assists or going in for the rebound.

JT: Chris Paul, he's got respect. My man goes in for a guard rebound. Not really in there, but he's definitely going for it better than some guys.

Greg: He's scrappy. JT what is with the Celtics? I am a Celtics hater. I don't like anything about Boston. I feel dirty that I even felt any sort of pity for Tom Brady when deflate gate was going on, because that was a sham. I hate Boston and that was a sham. I don't care for Boston at all, football, basketball, hockey-

JT: None of it?

Greg: Well baseball, let's not forget baseball. The Red Sox, hate them, but they're playing pretty well. I am NOT a Kyrie Irving fan, especially how he got there. They had to trade away three starters from last year to get Kyrie Irving, and four other moves in the offseason. They also lost a guy they only had for a couple minutes. Pretty crazy that they are still playing this well. How great would they be if they had the great Gordon Hayward as well?

JT: Do they even need him? They won nine in a row. They look fantastic. Kyrie looks incredible. Do they need Hayward? They had to have him? It's not like he's gonna go anywhere, but they look really good. It looks like Boston made the right deal. Shipping out Isaiah Thomas, J Crowder, and Avery Bradley for Frick.

Greg: Brad Stevens is a good coach, which Kyrie has never had.

JT: You're always on his nuts. You say you hate Boston, but you're always on Steven’s nuts.

Greg: Look at the guy. Who did he have last year for them to be playing as well as they have? Even the year before that they played pretty well. When you see that guy in the huddle, he gives a shit. There's a lot of the coaches like the Hornets coach. That guy's trying, and that's all I wanted, a little bit of effort. I also liked that guy when he was a college coach. He made it to the tournament one year. They played great when he was at Butler. He was just as big of a star as the kids were. He seemed like a good coach then, and it if the guy can get some little crap school into the tournament and get them very far in college, and he does very well with the professionals, then there's a common denominator there. It's him being a good coach.

JT: You love him, and you love your man on the Sixers, JJ Reddick. They're both very handsome players Greg.

Greg: You couldn't get me to say a bad thing about JJ Redick. I don't really care how he looks.

JT: His hair's a little shorter this season. Do you like it better this way?

Greg: It doesn't really bother me one way or the other. I'm good on that. The Celtics play the Lakers tonight. If they win it'll be ten in a row.

JT: Kyrie Irving is gonna fucking smoke Lonzo Ball Greg. He's gonna smoke him dirty all night long.

Greg: He might. He doesn't play defense well though. Neither one of them are great on D. In

unrelated news, how could we even talk about Lonzo Ball without talking about his brother

shoplifting in China? Did you see this story?

JT: He has two little brothers. This is the youngest one right?

Greg: This is the one that's on UCLA. There's another one that's still in high school.

JT: He and a couple other players from UCLA were on a trip to China, and they decided to steal some sunglasses. They were just released on bail. It's one thing to go somewhere and act up a

little bit but, you're gonna steal in a country like China? That that seems crazy. That seems like you think you're bigger than any problems, or any consequences. That's madness. To make it even worse their father came, and they're currently a reality show.

Greg: Of course.

JT: He's there with the camera crew for this whole thing.

Greg: The show is going to be called Ball in the family.

JT: This all turned into petty theft in China Gregg. For petty theft in China you get thrown in jail. I'm terrified of international prisons. I'm scared of jail in general, but the idea of being in jail or prison abroad is-

Greg: They had that show locked up abroad, remember?

JT: No, what's that?

Greg: People would tell their stories. Guys would go in Venezuelan prison, or there would be somebody who had been there on vacation, did something stupid like this, and ended up in prison. There's all different people with stories every week. There were horrible terrible stories of international prisons. It’s not like any prisons good, but I don't want to be in some Chinese prison, I'll tell you that right now.

JT: There was that movie from the mid-90s,Claire Dane's travelling abroad, and some dude slips drugs and herb in her carry-on bag Greg. Next thing you know she's in a fucking wooden cage in some Thai prison. No one can get her out. That shit's scary. I don't want that. Do you remember when we were in middle school, and that guy got caned?

Greg: I believe it was in Singapore.

JT: He stuck gum or something somewhere, or threw it on the sidewalk or something. My fifth grade teacher made a point to tell us they moisten the cane so it can wrap around the body when they hit you with it. He was quite a fella. The strikes Gregg, they're administered by a martial arts expert. He also taught us-

Greg: In fifth grade you learned that huh?

JT: Yeah, maybe too young for that. Maybe a colorful fella.

Greg: We'll leave it there.

JT: Dwight Howard Gregg, fined $25,000 for an obscene gesture. Do you know the gesture he gave? The old DX crotch chop. I was pleased because it took me a minute to find what the gesture was. I had to do a little internet sleuthing.

Greg: I assumed it was the middle finger, but no, it's the old DX suck it. I was happy to see people are still putting that one out there. There's something retro actively wonderful about that. It takes you back to a better time when the crotch shop was prevalent, and wrestling was a bigger part of our lives.

JT: Sucks to have this guy on your team though Greg huh?

Greg: It does. It sucks a lot. If I'm opening for the days of X-Pac, who God rest his soul, right? Didn't X-Pac leave us a couple years ago? Please look that up while I'm talking here. I think X-Pac left us. I believe something stupid happened. I believe it was like a backhoe accident or something. Something ridiculous. But yes, having Dwight Howard on my team, I can go off about the Hornets while you look that up. I am very unhappy with the Hornets at this point. I watched them lose a game the other night by just a couple points. It was a game they should have won. It was a game that was in their hands. The worst part is, now these teams have a Twitter presence. Any person on Twitter who feels like they need to be commenting or making observations of what's going on, that's not their job. They should just keep quiet. They may say

everything's going great, but we're watching the game, I can see when it goes down to the

other end of the floor. Offense has no freaking clue what they plan on doing. There's no person that's gonna take command. People are jacking up threes. People are playing hero ball. Nobody is doing anything. We all saw the great video of Cody Zeller getting blocked four or five times by Porzingis last night when they played the Knicks. It's disgusting basketball right now. There's teams all over this league playing above their capabilities and beating teams they shouldn't beat. Even the Suns beat somebody the other night. They beat the Thunder. They beat the

Wizards. The Suns are a garbage team, and they are beating people. The Hornets are trash right now, and it makes me so mad to watch. The coach after the game says everything's fine. We're gonna tighten up on defense. Old coach Cliff gonna tell me everything's gonna be fine, just gotta tighten up on D? Knock off that trash right now. You're playing like trash! Nobody cares. There's no go-to guy. You're wasting a good rookie. People are laughing about Malik right now.

JT: He wasn't that good

Greg: He is pretty good, the horn isn’t using him very well. I'm getting tired of watching these games. They're not playing well. It's driving me nuts. I'm used to them sucking, but this seems

worse. I had a little bit of hope. I haven't even said a word about Dwight Howard. Dwight Howard is a walking disappointment. That guy has been okay for us, but he should be so much better, so I won't shit on him too hard. We have so many other problems. He's just a small part, but damn it.

JT: Well said Greg, well said. I don't know if this is gonna brighten your spirits at all, but xpac lives Greg.

Greg: Why did I think he was dead?

JT: He was arrested earlier in the year for meth.

Greg: Okay, just dead inside.

JT: I won't go as far to say that, but a little trouble with the law. He is alive. Road Dogg was the d-o-double-g. Road Dogg, I almost thought they were the same person.

Greg: Not the same person, just the same kind of person. The DX kind of person.

JT: Don't forget about Mr. Ass too.

Greg: I don't want to go too deep here with the wrestlers, but we love Mr. Ass. We're gonna move on to predictions. What is the prediction for me this week JT?

JT: We are about one month into the season. Neither one of our beloved teams are doing particularly well. Is it too soon to call this season a bust and just fucking tank it Greg? Should we tank it?

Greg: It’s too early for us to tank. Do you feel like the Jazz are playing as bad? I haven't heard you complain that much about them.

JT: I’ve been keeping it quiet Greg. Some things don't feel good to talk about.

Greg: I should have asked. I feel like it's my fault that we haven't gotten to it sooner. There was an issue that I knew was there, and I was avoiding it.

JT: Things aren't good. I think you're in the same boat but we play on.

Greg: I just don't know what we would be tanking for. Do you feel like your organization drafts well enough that you would get a great player and turn next season around?

JT: I don't know if it's that that I worry about. other More so having an effect on our rookie Donovan Mitchell and and pissing off Rudy. He might be less inclined to stay after his contract expires. It's pretty hard to watch sometimes. We just can't fucking buy a bucket you know? Rudy's working. Rudy looks exhausted. He looks so tired because he's working so hard. You got favors shooting threes and Rudy's shooting jump shots a little bit. You see them looking for offense wherever they can find it. It's a little disheartening.

Greg: I feel the same way.

JT: It's not that I'm worried about the draft for them finishing low and getting the draft pick, it's the fact that it's tough to attract free agents when you're just not good and missing a couple pieces. We need almost a whole team. I'm just wondering if it is time just to get rid of everybody and roll the dice as they are and then see what happens and start with new players next year and see what we can do.

Greg: Too early to say, but you know come on guys give us something to get excited about . Let's get some wins.

We're gonna be back next week with another episode, and in the meantime you can follow us on twitter @doubledrivelers or you can email us at [email protected]. Subscribe to the show on iTunes, podbean, or Google Play, and until next week we'll see you on the Internet.

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