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hannahssimblr · 2 months

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I tap a knuckle against the study door.

“Dad?”

There’s silence.

I knock again. “Dad? Are you busy?”

He’s moving around in there, I can hear him. Closing browser tabs, maybe. Shuffling around and rearranging things, in a blind panic trying to look like he’s doing something important. I huff out a tiny laugh at the thought of him hurrying to close the minesweeper window before someone can come in and catch him doing something unserious. I don’t really know what he does in his pokey little study all evening, but one of Jen’s crazy theories is that he’s chatting online to his twenty two year old YouTuber girlfriend, to which I need to remind her, once again, that my dad is too boring to have an affair. Mom says he’s writing reports and even that sounds too exciting for him.

“Come in,” he says eventually, and I let myself into his lair where he is sitting stoically at his computer, a stack of paper, no doubt with exceedingly dull information on them is right by his side, and his hand hovers over it so I'll know he’s especially busy, and whatever it is, I had better make it quick.

I close the door behind me and approach him while his eyes settle curiously on the stack of soft cover books in my hands. “What are those?”

“I spoke to the guidance counsellor at school this week. She gave me some college prospectuses, and I thought we could... um, look through them together”

He heaves out a sigh and gestures to the second chair. The guest chair, I suppose, not that there’s ever guests in here to sit on it. It’s uncomfortable like a lot of furniture in this house, all style but no substance, and I perch on its edge, my knee doing that annoying anxious jerking thing while dad takes off his glasses and swaps them with another pair. “Show me what you have.”

I pass the stack to him and he drops it onto his desk with a thud, picks up the first and immediately flips the front cover towards me with a completely uncalled for attitude. “What’s this?”

“A prospectus.”

“Rhode Island School of Design?”

“Yes.”

He tosses it aside without so much as a glance inside it and grabs the next, “School of the Art Institute, Chicago,” Then reads the blurb incredulously “‘Art and design change the world.’ Alright…” He raises his eyebrows and puffs out a breath as he chucks it into the discard pile. “CalArts, nope.”

My face gets hot.

He snatches another and flips over to the back, “‘Studying here is different,’” He reads, “‘It is about making a better world, about becoming a creative force and learning to change the world through bold and curious thinking…’” He mumbles the rest and then scoffs at it as if it’s some political argument he disagrees with inside the Sunday Times, and he goes on and on in this manner while the rejection pile builds and builds and so does the feeling inside me.

“What is this?” He says eventually. “These are all American schools. American art schools.”

“Yes.”

He scrutinises me like he believes I have gone mad yet says nothing because he doesn’t need to. I already know what he’s asking.

The words come out of me in a rush. I rehearsed this in the hall for five minutes before having the nerve to knock, “Because I think I would get a chance at a really great education there. It’d be good for me to be away and independent and to learn a lot of new things, not just education and art, but also travel and culture. I’d really like to go to college somewhere that’s exciting and dynamic and… and…” Damn, I forgot the other adjective I’d chosen, “...Um, fun, I guess. It’s just that whenever I think about college I imagine myself in the US. I really think that’s where I should be.”

“That’s because that’s what you see in those movies.” He says movies like one might say hardcore pornography, because Christopher doesn’t waste his time with such things as movies. Christopher works, and studies, and reads endless, endless books about World War II. “You’re not going to college in the states.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s a waste of time and it’s a waste of money. Do you know what it costs to attend just a year of college in the US? Before your living expenses?”

“I know, but I spoke to the counsellor about it, and she explained that there are scholarships.”

He laughs, “You’re not going to get a scholarship,” and switches back to his other glasses and shakes his mouse to wake up his PC, which has some kind of thrilling spreadsheet open on it. This 2009 financial report must be rapturously exciting if he’s more interested in it than the future of his only son and firstborn child.

I inhale sharply, “But why couldn’t I get a scholarship?”

“Because,” He types some numbers into the sheet, “You’d have to have a pristine academic record, a long list of extracurriculars and a very persuasive personal statement,” he peers briefly at me over the rim of his specs, “I’ve been through the US education system, and I know the standard that these colleges expect of their scholarship students. You’re just not up to it.”

“I could be, if I worked hard. I’m already doing pretty well in all of my classes, like, I get Bs in most things-” I stop myself before unhelpfully adding, without even trying, “And I have extracurriculars, like, I play rugby and help out Jen with her maths work…”

“You have to understand that the kinds of people who earn these scholarships do a lot more than that.”

“Well I would do more things if I had more time to myself in the mornings, or in the evenings, or after school, or at any other point in my day when I have to ferry Ivy back and forth from-”

Dad barrels on as though he hasn’t registered that I am speaking, “And you know, as well as the extracurriculars, all of these scholarship students have exemplary records. They're well mannered, well behaved, they never get into trouble, never get detention, never mind suspension. Twice.”

I snap my mouth shut.

“Honestly, if I was the dean of one of these,” he plucks at the limp corner of one of the prospectuses, “Art college places, and I saw an application from someone with your record, I would simply toss it out. There’s not a chance, and before you ask, I am not paying for art school when you could easily do that here. For free.”

“Okay, I understand that, but I don’t really want to go to college here if I can avoid it.”

He doesn’t ask me why. He already knows but doesn't want to acknowledge it, and it’s easier, as it always is, just not to discuss feelings. Any feelings, especially mine, which are the most irritating and irrational feelings of all. “Why art school?” He hums, idly poking around with something on screen. “Couldn’t you choose a more academic course?”

I’m surprised he thinks I’m capable based on all the things he just said about me.

“You could apply for something in Trinity. Math, maybe?”

“Maths.”

“Or if you want something more artistic you could try English. Literature. That would be interesting, don't you think?”

“Or I could just… do art.”

“I would just hate to see you become one of those arty types. One of that NCAD crowd loitering around Thomas Street with their facial piercings and crazy haircuts.”

Oh no, a haircut. I sigh, “I’m not going to NCAD. I was kind of hoping you’d be more enthusiastic about my choices, but if you don’t think they’re right, I mean… what can I do.” I loathe the laugh that comes out of me, this strange, nervous titter that I didn’t even realise I was capable of.

I get up and begin to gather the stack of prospectuses laying forlornly on my father’s desk, my hopes and dreams bound for the recycling bin. “I’ll speak to the guidance counsellor again about my options, I suppose, and then I’ll try and choose something that’s more realistic for me.”

Before I let myself out I force myself to pause and turn to him one last time, “Do you… um, if I come up with more choices for colleges, do you think you’d want to sit down with me some evening and go through them? Like, I mean, really look over all of the options and help me decide what the best thing is?”

There is a lengthy pause.

“You know, Jude, I’m really busy, and-”

“Okay.” I leave the room and shut the door with a gentle click.

Beginning // Prev // Next

#lucky boy 2009 #there Jen he did it #are you happy now #anyone who thinks Christopher is hot can KEEP IT TO YOURSELF #no dilf comments here #he's a heartless bastard

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earlgodwin · 25 days

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The tragic disconnection between Lucrezia Borgia and Juan Borgia::

What I find sad and compelling about Juan and Lucrezia's relationship is that every time he genuinely makes a gesture to make her happy, it inevitably ends up being misguided, resulting in her getting hurt in some way. Like the debauched play he had prepared for her as a surprise at her wedding to make her smile, not realizing that it would anger her husband and cause him to hate her and her family even more. The Paolo situation is where their dynamic changed forever. Juan, as someone who was assigned as the protector of the family by his father and is already feeling inadequate and incompetent in his position, already saw Paolo as a threat. A guy who could expose his sister, calling himself the father of her child, making demands to see her? Had Juan known what Sforza did to her, the hell she was living, and how she found solace in Paolo, most probably, he would've let Paolo live. He legitimately believed getting rid of him (and he was motivated by jealousy as he has incestuous feelings for Lucrezia)—was the right thing to do—and expected applause for his misguided notions of protecting his family's honor. He didn't realize how much he hurt Lucrezia and tried to make her understand that he did it to protect her honor and didn't mean to hurt her. When he realized that she tried to avenge Paolo and kill him, he made a speech about how their family triumphed because they weren't dysfunctional when they came to Rome, that they should always stick together, and that he's motivated by wanting safety for all of them. After he came back from Spain a changed man, he gifted his sister something that positively represented her—a stunning rare panther in a gilded cage—a genuine gesture to reconcile with her and earn her respect. However, it bites her, and they're unable to make peace. And after Cesare betrayed him at Forli, he spiraled once again, and he realized that no matter what he did, he would never earn his siblings' respect, specifically Lucrezia's. This realization hurt him and made him act on his impulsive as by lashing out at her and dangling her baby from the balcony, which also gave Cesare the motivation to do what he always wanted and justify his jealousy by murdering him.

"I had an amazing personal journey to go on with that character and hopefully I presented it with a sense and reality and hopefully you will feel a bit sorry for the guy. I don’t think he’s useless. Everyone says he’s a useless coward. He’s just placed in some shit situations. He’s not afraid of dying in that sense, he’s afraid of not being liked or loved and being left by his family. Whether they know it or not, they have been ganging up on him from the very beginning of the first season. What’s the problem with him? I think he’s lovely. I think he’s really kind and compassionate and cuddly." — DAVID OAKES

#these two have been rotting my brain since the beginning of this year whatever going awnnnn #anyway little did they know much juan loved them all and that his worst nightmare is his family hating him and abandoning him #yet he received the worst fate imaginable #the fact he wanted her to love him as the way she loves cesare but it could never happen because he already screwed it up with her #unintentionally but yeah #juan x lucrezia #lucrezia borgia #juan borgia #the borgias #userotp #perioddramaedit #smallscreensource #gifshistorical #perioddramacentral #cinemapix #david oakes #tvarchive #tvedit #by jen

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zigster-ao3 · 2 years

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@p1013 this is still a WIP. Color will eventually happen, but for now, happy belated birthday

#modern ofmd au #Ed’s vibing in the lazy river #spots something he likes at the drinks cart #stede x edward #edward teach #Blackbeard #ofmd #Ofmd fanart #our flag means death #our flag means death AU #gentlebeard #blackbonnet #zigs drew stuff #fan art #Jen and I did discuss thst a photo like this probably does exist on Taika’s camera roll #he totally owns a flamingo pool float #I mean #I don’t actually know this as fact #it just feels on brand for the man

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pixelpeebs · 2 years

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LADIES & GENTLEMEN!!!!!!!! WE GOT HIM 11!!!11!

#thanks to the person checking in on my tags to see if I had seen the episode #I hadn't at the time BUT I HAVE NOW AND I'M LIVIIIIIING #HE'S SO GOOOOD LIKE SO GOOOD HE'S SUPER IN CHARACTER #PROPS TO THE SHE HULK WRITERS Y'ALL DID HIM JUSTICE!!!!!!#anyways I'm crying #between this and the mario movie I'm super happu #I literally was wishing for them to hook up and it happened so I'm satisfied #daredevil #matt murdock #matthew murdock #charlie cox #she-hulk #she-hulk spoilers #she hulk #peebsart #jen walters #jennifer walters #dd

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jen-with-a-pen-art · 1 month

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now vs. then

#i just wanted to share my au #where kenji gets separated from camp for a while #like ben did #and he comes back and sees jen (my jwccsona) again #oh yeah that is jen my jwccsona #they are cuties here #jurassic world camp cretaceous #camp cretaceous #jwcc #jurassic world #jwccsona #kenji kon #kenji kon x jwccsona #CRIES #jen with a jwcc au

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jaeyxns · 1 year

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˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖

#jake #sim jaeyun #enhypen #enhypenet #kpopco #kpopccc #usergyu #jen i'm sorry i didn't use your tracking tag sooner i'll be sure to use it more from now on !#but remember how we said we would manifest a jake live on my birthday?#while that didn't exactly happen #he made an appearance during sunghoon's live #and it was still the 17th for my timezone when it happened so i'll take what i can get !! <3 #like he even asked hoon where he was doing the live #as if he knew and did it for me !#alright i'll stop being delusional for now #also this look on him is so 💘💘💘#this set is purely for me honestly #*gifs

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onedivinemisfit · 2 months

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This is my life now I guess

#original art #myart #nymph and hunter #oc murder nymph madara #oc vain hunter narrander #yes he has a name now #also did i just doodle in direct response to jen leaving funny tags on the previous one #yes i did that too #yes madara is stark nude she has an image to uphold and it is unhinged banshee #narrander is part sad puppy dog on his mothers side

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nyukyujs · 8 months

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ghgfjedkvfchjjdacjfsbcfbswhfwhfehwjfwfjdscdds .

#gfgsjfgsjakfkjafgdekwagfdewafgdagdagdagdjefadhagdjaghdghdagfdag hrwghdghdgadhgdhagdhkagfdhsagfkhdgahkdgsfhkghkgdhgdhgdhafgdha #dzhgjdsrguhrehrhesghrjfehgjrfheshjgf #gfsghfegjfehsjgfhagjrggehdgra #gwefegfaagdhehgdegfhreghrgehgfrhfgrhesgfdgfhdegretgrygtryhegfhgfhdesgfgshgfeshgfrywgturegthururhegrfehghreghrfeghfresghjfgdeshjgfhjedsfeyhs #moon .#DJSFGDGFDGGFHGHFGFAGFGFHGJRHGRJAHHGFHG #ehgjrfejhghjedghfjdjhfjhgffhfdfgfgdshfhdsfgdfgdhfghg #he bro he he was he he AJDHSADGHSJEJMRFTRUCV #OMFGGGGGGG OMGOMGOMGOMGOGMGOGOGMFOGM FDHFGSWGD #dont talk to me .#dont ask me anything .#ask if im okay u can ask that .#DO NOT . ASK WHAT HE DID . HE DOESNT KNOW WHAT HE DID . AND I CANT HAVE HIM FIND OUT .#NONONOONONONOONONONON .#O . M . G #HOLY ACK ASJSJSHJJJJJS HELLP EJDHDHWHS #UNELSS U SWEAR ONJ MY LIFE THAT U WILL NEVA EVA TELL HIM .#[ ill probably only tell jen and deal with her calling me cute for the 676363762 time cauyse shed be the only one to ask . ]#IF MOON ASKS IM JUST TELLING HIM NO .#OM CHDGFEG #.!! open thoughts ~.#.!! the love of my life <3 ~.#HKLEPO IM GOIING INSANE

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aurore95 · 6 months

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putting the pro photos here, big dump of my insta stories under the cut because i need to share today with people

#i actually asked for aliona to be on the group picture #the whole cast cheered when i did that 🥰#she said it was the highlight of her day!!!!#neil neibon recognised me from the group photo when i got his solo shot #he was like 'we've met before 😮'#yes sir we have!#jen talked to me in french a little she's so good!!!#i'll try to get neil's tim's and dev's autographs tomorrow #i can't believe i still have two days of this i don't know how i'm gonna survive!!!!#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #mcm london comic con #me

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ereborne · 1 month

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Song of the Day: March 27

"Long Time Gone" by The Chicks

#song of the day #I'm still thinking about the Country Songs About Country Songs #this is actually a cover too though I never hear the original around anywhere #(it's by Darrell Scott who is also the originator for 'You'll Never Leave Harlan Alive'#turns out he's got a bunch of songs that got picked up and made somewhat more popular in the hands of other folks. an interesting legacy)#the best lines of this song to sing are also the bits About Country Music--well the whole song's about chasing the love of it #but this bit is bemoaning the kids these days you know. country music isn't what it used to be. why back in my day etc etc #it's so so so much fun to sing too because you get to exaggerate your 'I think's until they rhyme with 'Hank'. excellent work #'we listen to the radio to hear what's cookin / but the music ain't got no soul #now they sound tired but they don't sound Haggard / they got money but they don't have Cash #they got Junior but they don't have Hank / I think I think I think / the rest is a long time gone'#it's fascinating to me to think about these songs in (saying 'historical' here is giving me psychic damage but) historical context #because the Darrell Scott original for Long Time Gone came out in 2000 and The Chicks released their version in 2002 #so they were talking about the trend towards American jingoism in country music of the time #versus like Waylon Jennings in 1975 'Are You Sure Hank Done It This Way'#(I typed that and /then/ went back and looked up the release date and I'm so proud I got it right)#already bemoaning the state of country music in the 70s versus good old classic country like Hank Williams Senior sang #(Hank Jr covered Waylon's song in 1981. like yes it's a tribute to his father but also Hank Jr was a big push towards outlaw country #and has a few pretty famous songs himself about not singing like his daddy did. it just seems a strange choice to me)#and then Eric Church put out 'Lotta Boot Left to Fill' in 2009 calling out the shallowness of the country music scene of the time #(talking some only-thinly-veiled shit about a few of his peers in the process)#and then he released 'Stick That In Your Country Song' in 2021 and that /definitely/ put some backs up #that one's a less directed but more direct call-out if that makes any sense #no lines that are direct references to other artists' songs but stronger sentiments overall #not just general 'y'all are getting shallow prioritizing good times and high sales over genuine heart and integrity of craft'#but some straight up 'you have forgotten the face of your father' shit towards country artists and fans alike. the whole industry #a very good righteous-anger song

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jen-with-a-pen · 2 months

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a prerecorded message

*beep*

Greetings! If you're seeing this it's because I am, once again, out of the state on another work trip. Back to Washington DC for part 2 of our conference since the house wasn't in session when we needed it to be 😑 so i'll be gallivanting amongst the capitol yet again.

ill be back on thursday and regularly scheduled programming should return by next week!

love yall ❤

#ooo #ooo message #jen speaks #fr tho the house wasnt in session but the senate was and having to go back JUST for our testimony is so bs #but hey at least i might get to see bernie this time!!#maybe #he ghosted last time #yes i work with the government not for it #if i did id use yalls tax dollars to like... leave #anywho

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earlgodwin · 7 months

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"He kind of goes rogue, such that he perceives he's the best person to defend the family, and he's not waiting for his father to approve of every single one of his actions any more, yeah, he's becoming the man." (x)

#damn he's so pretty and for what #okayyy #ces is so funny to me like he truly gaslights himself too hard especially when most of the stuff he did were out of pure selfish reasons #francois arnaud #cesare borgia #the borgias #theborgiasedit #periodedits #perioddramaedit #tvedit #dailytvfilmgifs #tvarchive #cinemapix #weloveperioddrama #perioddramacentral #actorsdaily #tvseriessource #tvcentric #by jen

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identitty-dickruption · 2 months

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the awesome thing about being in a (mostly) dead fandom is that I get to have all the toxic opinions in the world and the chances of someone knowing what the fuck I'm talking about are so so low

#Audrey never should've gone to rehab!! Joey Potter is bisexual and should've gotten polyam with Pacey and Jen!! fuck everyone!!#also. not a toxic opinion but the finale is not canon to me #hm perhaps toxic but I think Pacey and Jack definitelyyyy fucked #um. what else #professor wilder wasn't that bad he was only mildly creepy in the grand scheme of things but honestly. liked the guy #OH also Andie was done dirty by that show. she deserved soooo much better #her psychosis was dropped SO QUICK because it was no longer interesting or quirky for her to have hallucinations but COME ON #did she really have to just leave ;-;#also did she really have to fuck that guy on the psych ward come onnnnn

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plumbogs · 18 days

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everyone here is already married but i NEED to get florence treated right. ik not everyone is here for my gameplay But this will be in gameplay

#i did like biancas wife for a while but idk i feel like she just isnt doing it for me anymore #as for john idk i think he will find happiness if jen leaves him for a woman #everyone is into him its nbd

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novantinuum · 25 days

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nhfjsdfjnh- rewatching movie clips- and i'm not gonna lie-

steven, i LOVE you, but

"as much as i've looooved dismantling the empire and saving all your planets" is the absolute most FULL of it possible way you could've ever stated this concept

it's probably for the best he stepped the fuck away and didn't "take" the throne as white and the others wanted him to, i really don't think he needed the ego boost

#not tagging this bc i know there's people out there who will twist my words lol #but i find it Fascinating how full of himself steven can be sometimes #like Yeah no he Did In Fact save gemkind from themselves #but Damn m'guy you really gotta go and Say it like that? dangle it in front of everyone? lknbfhjddg #be humble- jeebus lol #jen rambles #anyways i am once again stating it- i love steven but steven is Flawed just as all of these characters are flawed #and his greatest vices are definitely feeling like he has to always be in control #and getting carried away with himself- both in his theatrics and in the way he interacts with others #and here he is TBH getting carried away with a small dose of hubris #juicy i lov me a protag with a dose of hubris

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ivomartins · 4 months

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(HS anon, yes me, again. Thought you've seen the last of me)

Allow me to ramble about Plague for a bit. Because the author did her dirty from the beginning. I hated that she was not taken seriously. Oh, she's drunk and gushing over Malbonte. Because of course she is, Malbonte is just so. Cool 🙄.

Plague. Deserved. Better. 👏 She was that bitch who deserved to be a LI. In fact, she deserved it more than Astaroth or whatever his boring ass is called.

I was more than ready to welcome her with open arms and accept her as the fucked up queen she is. But let's be real, imagine if Plague was a LI and people had to accept her as she is. No redemption arc, just bad bitch doing bad shit, throwing sick parties and enjoying it. Bitches can't accept Amen is a sadistic fuck very sexy of him in this house we stan fucked up individuals no justification whatsoever. Imagine if they had to do the same with her when she's a woman. Hell, Austie gets destroyed by fans every time she apears and this sexy mama hasn't done anything besides breathing. Like what did she do, besides the fact that she stood 5 seconds next to Lucifer and Malbonte.

...

Oooooh.

This past update taught me that RC fans aren't ready for a sexy diabolical queen like Plague to be a LI. They don't deserve a bad mommy I do though. In fact, they don't deserve any bad motherfucker as a LI, when they still go pikachu mode when the evil LI does the evil thing. Shocking. I know.

my inbox is your abode anon feel free to talk my ear off always i'm living for your rants (and your taste) 💗

plague deserved so much better you're 👏🏼 goddamn 👏🏼 right 👏🏼 like she had the most potential for depth out of all the horsemen and it was completely wasted when the author chose to just depict her as an angry little girl making the entire world pay for her temper tantrum like. not even her connection with kira was explored or given any attention and in the end she died clearly because alice just didn't know what to do w her anymore smh

i never thought of the idea of her being a LI but you're so right that would have been really good i mean. vicky is out here running into the arms of lucifer/malbonte after they've spent the vast majority of the story emotionally abusing her so the same could have been done with plague ESPECIALLY because she and vicky have the mommy issues in common and they share the same temper and childish antics like pls... it would have worked and worked great especially because it would have balanced the fucked up ratio of LIs a bit by adding another woman besides mimi but this story is just too cookie cutter. i actually like to think that plenty of fans would have enjoyed romancing plague because we only get interesting femme LIs like every once in a blue moon 🙃 but i see your point for sure

don't get me started on the outrage against amen like HDKSHDKE it was so funny to me because ??? wow i guess evthys isn't the only one who needed to see it w her own eyes to know who she's dealing with HDKSJDK that was such a meta moment lol like evthys has spent an entire season and a half being terrified of this guy despite how much she's into him of fucking course there's a reason for that and he's actually as terrible as we all thought

i don't think it takes away at all from the kindness and consideration he's shown towards evthys and his genuine feelings for her because two things can be true at once and no character is ever just this or that. i still have gripes with the writing for him (a rant for another day) but i agree that the outrage was so unwarranted

#romance club #heaven's secret #shut up jen #conversations #i don't blame anyone for hating him or hating what he did but that's the POINT. we SHOULD hate him #and the story never tried to convince us we shouldn't #the kindness he showed evthys is only because of his feelings towards her and that's IT he's not a good guy my dude

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