#then i get too scared to drive | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

radios-universe · 5 months

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just a girl and her fatal car crash compilations

#this is a wilbur soot reference #but seriously i watch car crash compilations #then i get too scared to drive #its a vicious cycle #but why are they so entertaining #it helps that they’re almost always in america #they seem to not be great at driving there huh #wilbur soot #msr #mammalian sighing reflex #wilbur soot album #wilbur lovejoy #car crash #fatal car crash compilations

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fortheturnstiles · 4 months

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Bob Dylan on Joan Baez, from Chronicles: Volume One (2004)

#using the phone scanning feature to get these i hope they arent too crummy in quality </3 #also sorry kind of a long post . idk if theres a better way to format these #anyways these couple of pages made me burst into flames. from another planet. a voice that drives out bad spirits. makes your teeth drop #'she was mighty strange. i'd be scared to meet her. she might bury her fangs in the back of my neck'#bob dylan #joan baez

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sleepyseals · 6 months

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[Image Description: Two unfinished digital paintings / sketches of the hatchling and Hal from outer wilds. they are standing with their arms around each other and the hatchling has their head leaning on hal's shoulder as hal watches the supernova in the distance through the doorway of the museum. the first image is the scene viewed from behind with everything lit in bright blue with dark shadows. the second image shows hal's face looking in fear towards the light and is only partially colored, the rest sketched over a gray background. End Image Description.]

something you'll run back in for when the house burns down

#im going to post something on halloween but also want to post like sketch compilations and unfinished stuff #bc I draw alllll the tiiimeee and theres so much and its just going to get buried in my hard drive if I dont do anything with it #I'm so shy to post this but im in a good mood today so ok you can have the hal post #::) hal.#I wanted to finish these sooo badly and I still want to - it might take me completely reworking it again though :P #im scared this will become one of those pieces where i improve at anatomy more then look back at this one and be like. Gah what was I doing #honestly thats already happened. these are from several months ago #I kept their expression kind of neutral.. both because I dont think I could accurately capture the sheer dumfounded horror.#also because my heart will shatter into many pieces if I draw hal too sad #anyway the caption is a lyric from alone by tresspassers william #the album that song is from is called different stars and its one of my favorite albums ever ever <3 its very somber but I love it #this song doesnt even remind me of these two thaaat much #but theres other songs on the album that do more.. like vapour trail... and anchor oh my god. anchor...#and if you cant steer then it would be safer to drop the anchor 🤔🤔#ok I'm done talking now bye hal fans #outer wilds #outer wilds spoilers #very early spoilers. lol sub 23 minute spoilers #hal outer wilds #hatchling outer wilds #the hatchling #timber hearth #. I guess?

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gaemms-chamois · 11 months

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happy to see Czerny's helmet actually has holes for his antlers, along with a hinge on top of the helmet so it could open up because otherwise that thing would NOT be able to be placed on his head

#the holes on the helmet look a little too small but i dont wanna sweat those details im just happy to see theres thought put into this!#arknights #arknights czerny #would have to watch his hair upon closing the helmet up again tho #itd be like getting hair stuck in a zipper lmao #this works for his antlers at least there'd b more troublesome cases for other horns/antlers #also i'd be scared driving like that if i had such antlers i'd b like. im gonna hit a pole on the side and itll fly off my head.

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nerosdayinanime · 9 months

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sabito = dirtbike redneck. you cant convince me otherwise

#fratboy sabito posting #sabito #kny sabito #idk #was suddenly hit w the realization that i think him being a countryboy/redneck kinda crazy is *hot*#[head in hands knees on the floor folded in despair]#i know im southern but this wasnt supposed to happen. it wasnt supposed to be this way. what the fuck man.#sabito & giyuu keep makin me Into shit!! what the fuck!!#i wanna draw him doing wheelies and flips off dirt ramps. doughnuts. taking off his helmet n having dumb lil marks from it.#trying and failing to convince giyuu to drive a dirtbike & instead him getting on a 4wheeler #sab & makomo bullying him for being scared of dirtbikes but not the literal Twice As Big 4wheeler #idk. sabito just seems like a biker in general to me. dirtbikes just got the most 'will do bat shit insane stuff for funsies' vibe to em #all of them are a bit crazy but dirtbikes are Scary crazy. bmx bike tricks but it has a fucking MOTOR why are you doing 20ft leaps and flip #off cliffs what the fuck.#i can see sabito being a little deranged when he gets excited. normal when hes chill but as soon as he sees somethn fun all #sense goes out the window. he needs to be child harnessed to keep him from throwing himself off a wall like 'i could totally make that jump #on one hand giyuu gets life experiences and exposure to making new friends- on the other he has to stop sabito from being #the equivalent of a human lemming trying to throw itself into the hands of death at every waking moment #sabito in turn keeps giyuu from being too boring or being a scardy cat abt things. he also learns the art of 'quiet time' and 'how to Chill #honorable mention of my vague raspy voice sabito hc #kinda slight but v obvious when he raises his voice or yells #i think the sabito brainrot is actually overtaking the giyuu brainrot now. oh no #hes fictional²!! none of this shit [motions to my blog] is canon to him #thasa whole 'nother bitch!! i declare this brainrot Unfounded #wont stop me tho. 'm havin fun

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dullahandyke · 6 months

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all fun and games being a college student until youre lookin at recipes like 'i dont have a knife that isnt a butter knife. i only have one pot and no pan. making me buy two different types of oil seems like a scam. can i freeze homemade wedges if i make them'

#and my roommates have all those things and would probably be fine to lend me them #but also i do not talk to them a lot. and i am scared #and ofc worst part of being a college student is ive been putting off my work so i wont have time until like next week to go and get shit..#wait actually my mam is picking me up tomorrow. im sure she'd drive me to home store and more. this is a win #still does not solve my Burning Urge to make my own wedges but sigh ill work w it #edit actually the WORST part of being a college student is i made the idiot move of choosing one of the tall presses #not taking into account that im too short to take advantage of all the storage space....#i think theres one of the short presses still empty i could claim #but i dont wanna have to bend all the time to get my shit.... meguca is suffeirng

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just-a-queer-fanboy · 7 months

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9 year old me lost his shit when he learned I am not in fact the only person in my immediate family with no vision problems

And by that I mean I just have astigmatism which means I see this shit whenever I see circular lights including the damn sun

#yet another case of me sounding pissed off despite not really caring #i mean the only issue it causes me is that i might not be able to drive if it gets worse but im too scared of driving anyway

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noahtally-famous · 12 days

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not me popping back on here with a post after months of semi-inactivity (uni is being a bitch) just to reiterate how much i love writing the pahkitew island cast.

aside from sammy and amy (obviously), literally everyone else can be shipped with one another and it'd make sense to some degree, like it takes skill to create a group of people so inherently shippable (platonically and/or romantically) and ofc the writers didn't know it they just shoved a bunch of random ppl together and dusted their hands off on it but fr tho 😭

(yeah im planning out my leonave 'stranger things inspired' au, and the gears are turning, and i forgot just how much i love writing for this dumbass group)

(i swear im working on the next chapter of a guide to surviving the apocalypse too)

#no but i've way too many ideas lmaoo #i forgot ive a whole longass post in my drafts dedicated to ramblings abt this longfic and i came across it today ahaha #like amy leading a manhunt for leonard bc shes got everyone to think he killed her sister (who she didn't even like much smh)#and topher's one of the ppl involved and when shawn hears he's like “topher? yeah i can handle him dw” (possible tophawn minor pairing??)#and leonard's abt to get the equivalent of being burnt at the stake literally #when guess who shows up in a fucking mercedes of all cars #fucking dave #and he helps leonard escape narrowly by driving fast af and leonard's so confused bc like “i thought you'd be with those guys”#and get this: dave doesnt believe leonard killed sammy bc of his vehement belief that leonard doesn't know magic LMAOOO #and leonard doesnt know whether to be affronted or grudgingly thankful bc if it wasn't for dave's desire for everything to be normal #leonard would have been part of the witch trials 2.0 #and idk who's watched st but the plot is somewhat inspired by it #like shawn goes missing first and dave as his best friend is panicking abt it (in this one axel is shawns cousin???)#and then when they find him at last the weird deaths start leading to leonard finding sammy dead and this whole situation #and theres a whole different world underneath them and its up to leonard dave ella and sky to team up and prevent certain destruction #and theres slowburn leonave (with pining leonard and oblivious dave)#and leonard lives with his uncle whos understanding of his passions (unlike his dad who basically gave him away for the same reason)#and leonard's life is total opppsite from dave's #and they both know it #and omgggg this au has been a brainrot for so goddamn long #but idk why i just got a slew of ideas for it today #and like dave stays over at leonards at one point and leonard gives him his bed (like a gentleman)#and the next morning shawn barges in like “wheres my best friend” bc ever since he was taken he's been v paranoid abt losing the ppl he lov #and he hugs dave and daves like “how dirty are you rn” and shawns like “nothing yet i waited so that i can hug you when i see your dumb ass #and everyones like abt dave to leonard “idk if he's the right one for you”#but then later on dave saves his life by going a little bit unhinged classic dave-style #and ends up scaring a nurse and receptionist into retiring early #total drama #td leonard #td dave

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todayisafridaynight · 26 days

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any hopes for kiwami 3? like things u wanna see added or changed stuff like that

if they dont keep kiryu's goofy walk stance and the hoof-like walk sounds i dont wanna play it

#snap chats #no one understands how much i love that from y3 and y4 its genuinely one of my favorite things about the game #oh but i guess i have to give an actual answer now. HMPH.#id scream if they revived kanda calling mine limp wristed. homophobia in 4k #OK BUT TO BE SERIOUS uhhhh i dont know. im a real simple guy i think #my only like. If This Isnt There Im Leaving deal is mine's palette and im so serious #rgg's scaring me with all the black-hair/purple-suit mine stuff as of late and i cant stress how hard ill vomit if thats in the final #HYPOTHETICAL final anyways. yk3 isnt coming out for. IDK A WHILE #i wanna say i hope they highlight daigo and mine's relationship more but i dont know how theyd do that #i really like how mine's handled in y3 as is so i dont think i want scenes injected like what they did with yk1 and nishiki #someone said a Mine Saga after the game and... hm ... sounds too unrealistic for me to hope for it #like im REALLY trying to think how they could possibly reference the rggo stories in y3 since those are EXCELLENT but #i think . MAYBE. you could reference the story where richardson calls mine as he's driving to the hospital #the only thing you'd have to exclude though is mine stopping by the bar- like JUST keep the phone conversation maybe #cause in that scene that subordinate does question mine if he can really kill daigo and i think thatd be neat. in my opinion.#yeah i dont know. in regards to rggo its hard to think of what i want without intervening things i already like about y3 #its a real head scratcher ...#a really good epilogue addition would be adapting that RGGO bit where daigo ruminates on mine. that's a fair ending for him i think #it also fulfills the need to see how daigo saw mine even if its just a little #and to non-rggo readers it could start to answer 'how does daigo feel about everything that happened'#im still so curious as to if daigo was briefed on EVERYTHING that happened but .... anyways....#sorry all my hopes for y3 are just mine/minedai centric fLVKELKA BUT LIKE. i really am content with everything else with y3 surprisingly #idk. i want kiryu fucking up that curry in high definition tho. thats important to me #THEY HAVE TO KEEP THE QTES DURING THE RICHARDSON FIGHT ILL BE PISSED #i need the fight to be AS CAMPY and unnecessary as it was in the og. INCLUDING richardson's voice acting i need it wack as hell #is it weird i actually appreciate the Diet Building Loredumping being like. in replayable-cutscene form #i thought id prefer just One Long cutscene but im glad theres the option to skip those segments #BUT being able to get a refresher in case you missed something somehow #im running out of tags jesus christ i shouldve put this in the main text but vjALjlagj those are all my thoughts for now bYE

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allofuswantgwinam · 2 months

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it terrifies me the way so many people keep living without even batting an eye about the genocide that’s happening right in front of our eyes. i will never shut the fuck up about this.

#from the river to the sea #free Palestine #im so fucking pissed rn #was just havin a conversation with my mom and it did not go well #and i want throw up and cry #she makes me so mad #she knows this is wrong #idgaf if she’s scared of trump. idgaf if this is stressful and scary to her it is to me fucking too #which is why I will not ever stfu about this #or ignore this or forget what is going on #and live in comfort #I think the fuck not #I wanna fucking lose my shit rn but I’m not bc that won’t help anything #she’s already said before ‘I don’t have to know anything to know that it’s wrong’ so fucking accept what I have to say then #i pay attention #I know wtf is going on. let me be your fucking tool to help with this instead of getting upset with me!!!!!#she is being a coward #she knows this isn’t right. she’s being selfish #i understand it’s hard but like that’s why we fight #that’s what drives you. the outrage and pain you feel watching innocent people get murdered #I can’t understand her rn. im so done with people her age

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pepprs · 9 months

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i literally need there to stop being situations circumstances events developments complications and happenstances. for the fucking love of god

#purrs #but there will never stop being any of those things so actually what i literally need is to learn HARD AND FAST how to stop getting so #fucking triggered over a situation i know is NOTHING so bad that im anxious for the entire rest of the day and can’t even get any work done.#like (jade from tesco voice) girls… im not gonna lie to you. i think therapy is not working. i think i am not mentally or emotionally strong #enough to work in this job and i think i am never going to get mentally or emotionally stronger. ive been stuck in the quicksand too long #and now im atrophying. i cannot develop the situational awareness and motor skills or awakeness (and i mean AWAKEness.) to safely and #consistently drive a car. i cannot develop the intellect and drive and courage to get an advanced degree or be in a leadership position that #everyone actually sees as a leadership position lmfao. and i cannot develop the emotional intelligence and inner peace to not get triggered #out of my fucking mind at work to the point where im having anxiety heart palpitations and fighting back tears. i am just stuck as i am #forever. and you know how i know that? BECAUSE IVE WORKED AT THE NATIONALLY RENOWNED CENTER FOR YOU-ARE-NOT-STUCK-AS-YOU-ARE-FOREVER FOR #FIVE FUCKING YEARS SINCE ITS LITERAL FOUNDING AND HELPED TO FOUND IT AND IM STILL LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!! i go back to square one EVERY #FUCKING DAY!!!!!!!! how am i supposed to tell other people who they are is what they bring and the world can change and whatever when i am #the fucking antithesis of that. when i don’t even believe my own words. like the way i want to punch out every window in this building rn i #HATE BEING LIKe this i hate being in the psychic prison of scared little girl mode all the time forever no matter what and being beyond help #and disappointing and burdening the people around me because i can’t be fucking normal about like. hierarchy and institutional politics LOL #delete later

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mcnuggyy · 11 months

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truly sick of people being too scared to cut my hair the length I want it!!! But I am too anxious to learn how to cut my own hair, we need more transgender barbers and hairdressers or something I can’t deal w this anymore 😭😭😭

#like I don’t want to go somewhere trans friendly I need them to be trans themselves #I need them to UNDERSTAND DEEPLY #also I know strands for trans or whatever exists I am NOT driving an hour for a haircut either I’m POOR #anyways #I am very dysphoric today I’m going to blow myself to smithereens #callate guero #women leave my hair too long and men get scared when they see me it SUCKS.#nobody knows how to act and it makes my whole day so stressful #I know this is like the 5th post I’ve made about this exact thing #but!!! hey!!! 5 years and I still have this problem!!!#I swear once I find the one person who isn’t afraid….

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buttbiscuit · 2 years

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Steddie - Spring of '87

A drive out to the edge of town. A hike in the woods. A swim in Lover's Lake.

#steddie #stranger things #stranger things 4 spoilers #stranger things headcanon #stranger things 4 #stranger things spoilers #stranger things hc #steddie hc #steddie hcs #steddie aesthetic #steddie headcanon #i guess this is a series im doing now?????????#eddie loves putting his feet on the dash when they go for drives no matter how many times steve yells at him #just ignore the fact i shared a map that showed they both LIVE on the edge of town near lovers lake #they drive closer to the lab to make the hike shorter #theyre still not out out to anyone but robin and she refuses to go on their hikes because she doesnt want to get lost #fic prompt #they cant go to skull rock anymore bc steve's scared that its too popular of a makeout spot and people will catch them #eddie munson #steve harrington

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lycanthian · 3 months

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i need to fuckign explode

#i need to talk tohim i need to talk to him i need to talk to him i need to tlak to him but i caaaaaaaaaaaaaaant bc im too scared of that lol #it was on my mind two months ago it was on my mind a month ago and its on my mind now and it is driving me insane #bjt k dont want to say what it is because thats a can of worms of potential for people to Know i dont want #so glad the guy in question is locked out of tumblr and the other guy involved barely looks at tumblr #only fucking place i can get this thought out even vaguely #i need to talk to both of them bt i cant because i feel like i will die trying to. heart attack on the spot #as much as i dont want him to i hope he gets a notif for this and asks me sbout it #even though theres no way hed knownim specificslly talking abt him #bc at leas that way it spares me the fucking nightmare kf bringing it up to someone #and its like. objectively not s problem #if i just used my words and talked it out it would be done so fast.but the problem is even though i talk to both of them so much #the thought of talking to them abt this specific thing scares me so bad that #i think if i sent a text about it i would close discord snd not open it for 2 years #sighghhggggghhghgghhhggh ive been rlly good abt not venting on tumblr lately bc i didnt like doing it in the first plsce but #there is literally nowhere else for me to complain about this in a spacethat i am comfortable complaining sbt it in #that does not include one of the affected guys #lycan howls

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boxwinebaddie · 4 months

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Best driver in the CFPOM? :)

...so when you say 'good'...are we talking skill? or safety? Because...

if we're talking Skill:

kenny, 100%. hands down.

if it has wheels -- kenny can drive it. i feel like he's been driving since elementary school tbh. which leads me to my next point which is that kenny can drive super well...but its definitely not legal. there is No WAY he has a license like that man has no birth certificate. he def has a fake license tho and it is literally a knock off McLovin from super bad level of fake and just says McWhoremick with no first name smh. but its fine bc he can seduce his way out of any ticket ever. Slayed. ;)

but yeah no, he is ripping around the neighborhood like its GTA5, they are FLYING, kyle is having a panic attack the whole time because kenny is smoking a fat joint and yellin Look Guys No Hands! bras and panties flying all over the place from whoever was back there last, old moldy pizza slices, the hula girl on the dash is shaking ass, theres fuzzy purple dice hanging from the mirror, fake balls on the tail pipe...so much Insanity...all while ayesha erotica or the Cuntry ;) <3 playlist is blaring. tldr when kenny is driving, kyle and marjorine are not having fun but stan & cartman are having So much fun help

i feel like kenny drives a tiny little beat up red pick up truck that he fixed up himself ( hes a part time mechanic in peppermint...or thats his current job until they fire him...Soon probably ) so there is a driver seat, a front seat and a TINY cab in back which really should only have one...One!!! COUNT IT!!! ONE!! person in it but they manage to squeeze THREE people in wHICH SOMETIMES IS TWO PEOPLE AND CARTMAN AND SOMETIMES ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE IS ALSO TALL ASS KYLE WITH THE MASSIVE DOUBLE WIDE TRAILER BEST ASS IN CLASS so needless 2 say its a Tight Squeeze.

they also All used to fight for shot gun ( stan wants to aux, kyle has control issues/is claustrophobic and cartman is just an asshole he also cant drive bc driving is for Poor Ugly People ) EXCEPT marj who Never EVER fought for shotgun and always used to sit in the back with whoever just bc shes nice and kind so when they started dating kenny permanently made marjorines seat the passenger seat *Kenny Being A Bastard VC* I Got A Seat For You Right Here, Sweetheart ;) *fakes out pointing to face then pats the seat smh* and everyone is like ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS bc that perma put stan kyle and cartman in the back which is CHAOTIC and kenny is like hell yeah im serious!!! unless one of you is gonna start Blowing Me enjoy the back bitches!!! mwaaaah <3 Pain....oh my god. *kyle n cartman audacity*

which...stan is actually the most Chill back there, he is my relaxed king -- he also Never calls the front seat shot gun bc he HATES guns cute pacifist boy behavior -- and fights for the front way less tbh. which conflicted kyle because he just wants to sit next to stan and not cartman ( stan used to sit between them to prevent Homiecide )

but bc kenny is ripping around going a million miles per hour all the time kyle ends up in stans lap A LOT which...okay the first time he was like dude oh my god im So sorry and stan was like dont worry kp you can sit in my lap Any Time :) what are super best friends for? :*

uNAWARE OF HOW FKN INSANE THAT SOUNDED TO LITERALLY EVERYONE KYLE MADE SUCH A CRAZY SOUND HE WAS SO RED OH MY GOD KENNY MARJ AND CARTMAN ALL LOOKING AT EACH OTHER LIKE IS THIS REAL THIS IS NOT RESALSDKLHDS

like the way that stan did not know he was in love with kyle until Now but was constantly like u can sit in my lap and wear all my clothes and have anything you want from me kyle??? LIKE?? I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE STAN!!!! YOU FRUIT FUCKING SALAD!!! PUTTIN UR BEST GUY FRIEND IN UR LAP IN YOUR HOODIE PLAYIN W HIS HAIR WHISPERING SHIT INTO HIS EAR MAKING HIM BLUSH WITH THE FKN LITTLE HEART CHARM ON UR NOSE RING SHUT UPPPPP!!!!!

( also i forgot how much i luv pep!stans little emo boy Charm Bracelet Nose Ring for dramatic fruity bisexual disasters...he is so cute ily bb peppermint stan is the most babygirl ever....my son oh my gooood )

so needless to say stan just climbs in the back and does the hot boy Come Here ;) thing where he pats his lap for kyle to sit ( HELLO EXCUSE ME?? ) and it was Mostly a joke until they started dating and now everyone is like stan and kyle no funny business back there and cartman is like yeah watch it homos and but its okay they are Making Out they cant hear anyone smh <3 NASTY BOY BEHAVIOR WHEN THEYRE DATING ITS SO OBNOXIOUS I REALLY HATE THEM like they are attached at the lips/hips...but also...Good For Them omg.

iiiiii got more to say about everyone else Driving ( me crazy mostly ) but this got too long i had too much to say abt the truck and kenny so yes tldr as far as Good Driving goes...Kenny. but as far as legal? Abbbbbsooolutely Not, Babey! it is fun tho!!! yeehaw! Buckle Up <3

-uncle nina, gay and can't drive

#im actually so scared of driving its actually my one tru fear #BUT YEAH KENNYS YEEHAW OH SHIT HANDLE GETAWAY DRIVER GTA5 DRIVING IS SO ICONIC TO ME #ALL WHILE SOMETHING CRAZY IS PLAYING ON THE AUX #i do think they are Mostly in stan or kyles car tho for practicality they cant breathe in kens car...& its hotboxed to hell #its kyles usually bc stans car is a trash waste disaster zone & kyle DDs ( ok stan is more fun tho he is a Shit driver but kyle YELLS sm )#also no one can sit in the front in styles cars but them disrespectfully its not fair but they are in love im sorry #esp ky if any1 even tries 2 take the front seat in kyles car hes like get the hell out of the stan seat u stupid bitch??? fuck off and DIE #anyways <3 Hi Stan <3333 are u comfy do u need anything :3 #and stans like hiiiii kp im good tysm sbf <333 *winks at kyle sticks tongue out and flips off everyone* everyones like bro come ONNNNNNN #its so much worse when theyre dating kyle is like hiiii cute boyyyy and stans like hiiii Cuter boy like mom & dad will you stop being GROSS #LIKE EW OH MY GOD CHILL OUT #but yeah kenny can drive anything and that man b driivng everyone wild what can i say #that man always has a ticket for being Too Fine

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silenthillbunni · 5 months

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❄️🐇❕

#i feel like im going insane and tonight it's esp bad so i need to.... vent :$#some time ago i had the fortune of a very very wonderful person entering my life. and since day one BOOM i think of them every single day #im not even exaggerating.. like every single day i just think and daydream of them. i've had sm extra inabiloty to focus -#bc i just need to constantly stop and think of them.....#there is so much abt them to adore and admire. so much!!!! i didnt know someone like them could exist..#i love talking to them and i just wanna kno everything there is to know abt them!!! everything regarding interests me #there's also the aspect of how i feel talking to them. i know they dont judge the same way as other ppl do so it's easier to talk to them #tho i still have avpd so i often start over explaining myself and get insecure etc etc. i need to get out of my head!!!!#idk.. idk... it has never been like this for me. so im also scared #what do i do.. how do i navigate this? i've never been here before and i feel lost even if it's def not a bad place to be in #every single day... i just wish that i could be with them more and more. this wish never calms down it just gets bigger #but. how? how do i break this loop and make it into reality? is it only gonna stay as a desire and a daydream? :(( i rlly dont want that #im scared too. bc what if i want and can make it my reality but it just wont happen? what if it just wont #im also not the only one in this equation that decides. what if... i have to face rejection.. what if im a disappointment. what if what if #i dont know!! i only know that i think of them all day every day. it gets more nd more intense each day.#i also get more sure that it's what i want...#anywayyyy. im actually.. driving myself insane with how obsessively i think of this #i cant quite put it into words but i had to get at least some of it off my chest #like how. do i express my feelings to them. how do i turn it into reality. how do i face that fear of the unknown and smth i've never done #but also how do i face that fear and prepare for the fact that even if i want smth dreams made into reality cant be certain.#there r so many life things that decide what happens too.... not just my will and desire #but as well as.. how do i prqepare myself to deal with the potential oh whoops maybe im the only one who rlly want this.#maybe this is onesided maybe my feelings just flew out of control nd idk how to reel them back in whoops.#like i dont know at all what could happen.. all i know is what i wish.. hmm gosh this is all just making my head spin every day.

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