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waitingformyfavoritesongs · 1 year

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15 fe bru ar y 2023 Wednesday 2:23 am pdt

Incubus is mean enough to lie about children. He made me think gio is my daughter & the new born is my son. I think I have been burning up too hot all last year to probably be able to conceive. 2:25 am pdt I just can’t believe anymore. Did anyone else see gio’s baby reel of her crying when they turn off Adam’s music? Did it first look blue then it looked brown? Her eyes? I don’t believe 2 blue eyed or green (brain pain 🧠 cutting I don’t like the way they cut it 😖😭🥵😱😰😞I don’t know if it got cut off! Chopped off!! 😭😰😱2:29 am pdt) they cannot make brown eyes 👀. If you have painted 🎨 you know you need an extra color to mix in to get brown. 2:31 pmpdt b4 news 📰 of the baby 👶 welcoming they made me hear 👂 a baby 👶 cry 😭 (hunger 2:32 am pdt) & yesterday & day b4 made me smell 👃 like baby poop 💩 & diapers. They’re really BAD. When I barricaded the bedroom 🛌 door 🚪 last year Bcz I got distressed? At how they were hurting me? I think? They played a baby crying sound in my head to make me think gio was crying & wanted 2 see me. 2:35 am pdt he did this also by showing a black haired little girl laying lazily tired 😴 in the sand at the 🏖 beach as if she was tired Bcz she was up all night visiting me. 2:37 am pdt I don’t believe them (head pain 2:38 am pdt) anymore. They’d say & do anything to make me believe them. I can’t stand ‘em. 2:38 am pdt

2:46 am pdt 2:47 incubus attacked my intestines? Or flesh area (neeart autocorrect nearby beware authorities 2:49 am pdt are u saying police 👮‍♀️ are here? Probably same police 👮‍♀️ who said Sierra LaMar s account was hacked/hoax asking for help In Saratoga? They liars 🤥 those police 👮‍♀️ are I bet 2:51 am pdt I bet they’re kidnappers 2:51 am pdt & car 🚗 thiefs)

2:55 am pdt 🤯wow I found an article back dated to April 19 2012 about the hoax I never found b4 saying they traced it to the Philippines 🇵🇭???? I skimmed it. Mayb I should look at that again. & something about “by the way, we do punch” ??? I need to look at that again nbc. I need to write the url Bcz I looked at a lot of articles & I think I would have recalled such a bizarre article b4. Wow. Must be the real kidnapper hacking nbc. That’s weird. 2:58 am pdt

3:02 am pdt https://www.nbcbayarea.com/news/local/detectives-seek-to-find

-Sierra-lamars-hoax-tweeter/1944744/

3:04 am pdt

4:13 am pdt they’re incubus being extra jerks again. Extra extra. They make me cry 😭 & then they manipulate me. Flip flop 🩴. Mean, then flip to manipulate me using love 💕 💗such as a baby 👶 cry, Etc. 😖😭incubus put hard painful balls of air coming up my throat when I try to breathe 🧘🏻‍♀️ in, even though I have to cough b4 I can breathe 🧘🏻‍♀️ after they burn 🔥 me. 😖😭😤🥵😤🥵🤬😫😖😭😖😭😖😭😖😭😵😵😵😵 4:18 am pdt

4:50 am pdt I don’t believe in the walking 🚶🏿‍♀️ through fire 🔥 & surviving. It might be a mirage at best 😱😰.

4:52 am pdt I guess people are afraid to help me Bcz of ghost 👻 ship 🚢 fire 🔥 in Oakland December 2, 2016. A david died, uc Berkeley graduate 👨‍🎓 I think double major? I remember 2 guys names caught my attention but I don’t remember exactly anymore. Incubus has burned my skin so it looks sunburned. Any hotter & I will be gone/dead. 4:55 am pdt David = dowd = Susan boyles. I guess it is a threat to me. 4:56 am pdt one of the guys was a brother of an aqauintance I met @ uc Berkeley. 4:57 am pdt I don’t think 🤔 they would have known anything but who knows, maybe they did. 4:57 am pdt & incubus killed them off as a warning ⚠️ to me. Warning ⛔️ wore I think I looked it up last year or the year b4 & saw it used to address ? sailboats ⛵️ ... apart of original family name. Peter Pan ride at Disney land was my favorite ride when I was a kid. 5 am pdt I don’t recall what abba means when I first looked it up but that was part of the name (right side too hot 🥵 nauseas b4 writing felt acid 2xs this morning touch inches at a time of intestinal wall. 😱😰😞😖😭😤🥵😤🥵🤬 I don’t like them they’re all conceited jerks 5:03 am pdt) of the yeshua who was forgiven & allowed to live even though he murdered people & was violent while yeshua son of Joseph was crucified that’s what I read online. 5:04 am pdt listening 👂 to something random my mom picked from online. 5:05 am pdt

5:15 am pdt the spikes feel too big wide. Reminds me of tenderizer meat 🥩 hammer 🔨 into my brain 🧠. They hurt what’s in the inside Bcz it’s more destructive. More death ☠️. 5:17 am pdt

they set up a pattern of lying 🤥 to me flip flopping to normalize it & to accept it. It buys them time for false promises. It is deception. They should not be trusted. Not trustworthy . I don’t trust them. They’re dead? ☠️ found dead bodies right? 5:20 am pdt

5:22 am pdt they rely on my naïveté? Naïve ness to trick me. They want me to believe they rescued them from the fire 🔥 5:23

5:24 am pdt brain 🧠 hot 🥵 they really are sacrificing me. This economy is evil 🦹‍♀️ & will continue to be evil after I’m dead. Rape & murder & torture will continue for the masses all 8 billion. 5:35 yyoutr all wicked evil fucks. 5:25 am pdt

5:35 am pdt Jesus was said to be sacrificial lamb 🐑. Are lambs gentle? Gentlemen? So some stuff is fake news 📰 theme saying otherwise but he’s a lunatic for believing goodwill save him? Even though he put him prob through hardship being a carpenter & having to hide himself from baby killers like herod. Lived in poverty & probably chaste? Pious? What does pious mean? Life growing up w/ Virgin Mary & churchy? Saintly? Grandparents & parents? Idk 🤷🏻‍♀️ still need to read more! 5:39 am pdt you sacrifice lambs & keep the bad for 2000++++++ years? Humans around for how long? 70000 years???? 5:39 am pdt I don’t get it. He wants to burn my brain now cuz he labels this as haughty Bcz he wants most of us to be satisfied with less nearly povert level living torture abused existence 5:40 am pdt he doesn’t want anyone to be smart enough to know what’s happening is all wrong? But some people do know it’s all wrong & do stuf anyway such as child rape! 5:41 am pdt justify it now! Tell me why now! 11 years old! Masturbating next to elementary school caught b4 it happened! Rape of a 14 year old!!!! Ignored by society!!!!! That means doctors 🥼 are guilty? 5:43 greedy fucks?????? Burning 🔥 hip right side. I warned my cousin when she was 9 years old to watch out for “confused adults.” Some people become confused 🤷🏻‍♀️ & easily manipulated by the devil. Some people are the devil 😈. 5:46 am pdt

7:55 am pdt had heart ♥️ pain minutes ago. Ok big reveal biggest reveals that I’m a sum bag dirty cheat greedy whatever: I once tried to get my sister to agree to a bad deal when we were elementary school aged? I remember it was at a person s house that I played w/ Barbie dolls ... & across the street from this house b4 fourth grade photos I fell from the tallest bar attempting to do a cherry 🍒 drop (brain pain 😖😭😤🥵 7:59 am pdt) but failed! It was probably sometime after this that I wanted to play with some specific pieces of LEGO’s . That’s right, LEGO’s! I wanted to see what I could build with this pieces so I tried to make a deal, u can play w/ those pieces & I can play w/ these & then tomorrow we will switch. But I probably had bad intentions of hogging all the pieces the next day. I don’t remember, I feel like that was in my head. Somehow I think she figured out it was a bad deal immediately and said “i don’t care” I guess I’m a mean kid Bcz I think what I did next made her cry. Maybe I took the pieces forcefully 😓 then the lady who was watching us called me a “pig.” & I don’t think I did it again. I feel like there were a lot of times I was greedy with toys 🧸. Although I think I have memories of also being nice. I feel greedy. & mean. Once we did cooperate b4 my parents separated & built a woman’s restroom out of tinker toys 🧸 that was supposed to kick 🦵 out men. 8:07 am pdt we did not know about cross dressers & transsexuals then. 8:07 am pdt we played dolls & video games together & watched cartoons together. & when inspector gadget came on we hid behind the couch 🛋 together to pop out & surprise dad when he came home. 🏠 maybe I am bad. 8:11 am pdt I guess I did it the wrong way. I wonder 💭 how Ivanka trump managed to take the whole set of LEGO’s to build a tower w/ press on nail glue. She didn’t upset her siblings when she did it? I guess maybe they had more than one set so she didn’t have to fight over anything with them. 8:13 am pdt I should have never made my sister cry. Happy? Karma for not letting her borrow my if (identification 8:16 am pdt) card is I lost it ≈2020. 8:13 am pdt

9:44 am pdt I think I omitted a detail: LEGO’s pieces I was going to let her use were not very good pieces small type probably trying to remember. 😓😬 9:46 am pdt

9:56 am pdt Instagram suspended my account again. I don’t know why 🤷🏻‍♀️

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justmelagain · 3 years

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100 Truths...

1. last beverage → water

2. last phone call → spam

3. last text message → security code verification

4. last song you listened to → no idea

5. last time you cried → last night, watching on old movie

HAVE YOU EVER:

6. dropped your phone in the toilet → No

7. depended on someone → Yes

8. dated someone twice → yes because I was an idiot to trust them...over & over & over

9. been cheated on → yes

10. kissed someone & regretted it → Yes

11. lost someone special → Yes

12. been depressed → Yes

13. been dumped → Yes

LIST FOUR FAVOURITE COLORS:

14. Purple

15. Fuschia

16. Blue

17. Black

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU:

18. Made new friends → nope & not ever again

19. Fallen out of love → nope. unfortunately for me, I pretty much love forever, regardless

20. Laughed until you cried → All the time

21. Met someone who changed you → unfortunantly most people that I get close to change me in some way...be it small or massive ways

22. Found out who your true friends were → more like found out who WEREN'T true at all (spoiler alert: everyone)

23. Found out someone was talking about you → Do I really care if they are??

24. Kissed anyone on your friend's list → nope

25. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life → not on Tumblr

26. How many kids do you want to have → 0

27. Do you have any pets → 3 cats & a dog

28. Do you want to change your name → I'd change it in a heartbeat!

29. What did you do for your last birthday → just another day in paradise 🙄

30. What time did you wake up today → 8:30 am

31. What were you doing at midnight last night → playing Bingo Blitz

32. Name something you CANNOT wait for → winning a massive lottery/sweepstakes

33. Last time you saw your father → June '00 at his funeral

34. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life → my health

35. What are you listening to right now --> my fan

36. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom -> Tom at MySpace?! lol I can't remeber any other Toms 😜

37. What's getting on your nerves right now → Mama

38. Most visited webpage → Facebook

39. What’s your real name -> Melissa

40. Nicknames→ Just call me Mel

41. Relationship Status → NEVER AGAIN

42. Zodiac sign → Taurus

43. Male or female or transgendered -> Female

44. Elementary → Murmil, Watson

45. Middle School → Rogers

46. High school – EHS

47. Hair color → light brown & gray

48. Long or short → shoulder length almost

49. Height → 5' 1 1/4"

50. Do you have a crush on someone → nope

52: What do you like about yourself → My openness

53. Piercings → ears got double-pierced when I was 16 but I let them grow up by the time I was 18. Was alergic to every possible jewelry composit so gave up.

54. Tattoos → Technically 6 (1 is a coverup)

55. Righty or lefty → Righty

FIRSTS :

56. First love → kitties

57. First piercing → Ears

58. First best friends → (LA) Dana (AR) Tanya

59. First sport you joined → none on purpose! lol

60. First pet → a white bunny. I was 2. Don't remember his name

61. First vacation → 1st that I can remember was Tampa/Disney when I was 4

62. First concert - no idea was most likely some religious crap that Mama drug me to, though I do remember The Statler Brothers, The Gatlin Brothers, The Oak Ridge Boys, & my aunt & uncle had a Christian band too...these were all around the same time, no idea who was first

63. First crush → Michael. 😭 He died several weeks after a car hit him while he was riding his bike home from school. He was 10, I was 12.

RIGHT NOW:

64. Eating → Nothing

65. Drinking → water

66. I'm about to → kill Mama

67. Listening to → my fan

68. Waiting for → dinner

YOUR FUTURE :

69. Want kids → Nope

70. Want to get married → Hell to the no!

71. Careers in mind → can't manage a career anymore; just want to win lotto so I can take care of my health

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX? :

72. Lips or eyes → eyes

73. Hugs or kisses → neither

74. Shorter or taller – definitely taller

75. Older or Younger → Doesn't matter

76. Romantic or spontaneous -> neither

77. Nice stomach or nice arms → doesn't matter

78. Sensitive or loud → Gah! Sensitive. Loud usually = obnoxious

79. Hook-up or relationship → NEITHER

80. Trouble maker or hesitant -> oh, hell. Don't care AT ALL for trouble-makers!

HAVE YOU EVER :

81. Kissed a stranger → Define stranger? LMAO

82. Dined & Dashed → Nope

83. Lost glasses/contacts → Nope

84. Sex on first date -> Well, guess that depends on how you define "date"! 😜

85. Broken someone's heart → doubt it

86. Had your own heart broken → into ashes!

87. Been arrested → once

88. Turned someone down → Not easily

89. Cried when someone died → Of course

90. Liked a friend that is a girl? → DUH 🤣

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

91. Yourself → not at all

92. Miracles → No

93. Love at first sight → no

94. Heaven → No

95. Santa Clause → No

96. Kiss on the first date → Currently? No

97. Angels → No

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

98. Is there one person you want to be with right now → no, I just DESPERATELY want to be ALONE

99. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time → yes, went down that road once upon a time

100. Posting this as 100 Truths → ok, sure 😄

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inazuma-hq · 5 years

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Inazuma Showcase Spotlight: @yuumanosaka / @lulurionu

[tumblr] [art tumblr] [twitter] It shows two girls holding plushies of the person they love the most! obviously, the right is Nae holding Norika, which represents my current Inazuma OTP! and then there’s the girl on the left, which actually shows my OC holding Gouenji. she just represents as myself holding Gouenji, who is my favorite character in inazuma hhgjkd

Introduce yourself! Hello everyone! I'm Lulu. I'm 20 years old, I live in the Philippines, and I've been a fan of Inazuma Eleven for a really really really long time! I'm a mainly illustration artist, but I'm also partly a writer in the Inazuma fandom! Though, I did start out as a fanfiction writer, I gradually shifted to becoming an artist, mainly because of my interests towards art and desire to have it as a career in the future.

How long have you been a fan? How did you discover Inazuma Eleven? Somehow, I still remember how I first knew about Inazuma. It was around August 2010, and I was at home during that time. It was nighttime in our place, but it happened before dinnertime. I walked to the living room of my house where I saw that the TV was on and my brother was watching something. The channel that was on was Cartoon Network, and the show that was airing right now was...?

It was a bunch of kids playing soccer, against...aliens?! It was that episode where Epsilon was introduced, and Kogure (or Scotty, as how I first knew him) first played for Raimon. Intrigued, I sat down and continued watching it with my brothers. And then the episode finished, but it was around then that I caught on the name of the show that I watched. Inazuma Eleven, huh? Oddly, I can't remember myself watching the rest of the episodes after that...sort of. I somehow remember watching the last few episodes (of the Aliea arc), and honestly, I really enjoyed those episodes so much that I wanted to watch it all again! It was September 2010, and I began my habit of watching continuously the Aliea arc episodes from Gouenji's return, up until the finale of the Dark Emperors...with the dub version. Somehow, CN Philippines' website had those episodes, and I would find myself watching those episodes everyday after school. But as time went on, I craved for more. I was curious if there was more to Inazuma than just fighting aliens. So I searched it up on Google, and the answer I had wanted was true. There were MORE Inazuma episodes! More than A HUNDRED! I quickly typed up Inazuma Eleven Episode 100 on Youtube, because I was curious to know what was the 100th episode. And I watched it, obviously, and to my surprise...it was about Xavier...and Scotty? Why are they called Hiroto and Kogure?? Why are they together??? It was October 2010, and around this time, I discovered the original Inazuma series...in JP audio! I just continued watching the series after, finishing the original series immediately after it aired and moving on to the GO series. I also constantly rewatched a lot of the episodes during that time! I was really obsessed with Ina11, but it honestly really made me happy so I'm not complaining!

How has Inazuma impacted you since discovered the series? What does Inazuma mean to you? What has made you stick around? I think, if anything, Inazuma is the series that really cemented majority of my interests and made me who I am today!

Inazuma is the series that really made me start out both writing and drawing, it's the series that made me realize that anime is my main interest in media, and it's what got me engaged in the Internet and fandom engagement!

Also, because of Inazuma, I made so many friends! Many of my friends I met here, we all came from Inazuma! And I would like to meet and make even more friends!!!

And this series, it...really means so much to me. I really, really, really love Inazuma??? It's hard to explain how much I love this series. I honestly feel like I fundamentally wouldn't be where I am today without Inazuma, seriously! Despite it being such a pretty unpopular series, I love this series so much to bits;;;;;

I mainly stuck around because...I guess, the series really kept me interested?? Inazuma is one of those series I don't think I would ever let go,. It's too important to me! It's hard to say with words why exactly I stayed hdhhfksj;;

Who are your favourite characters from Inazuma Eleven and why are they your favourites? I started out without really having a solid favorite, until the episode where Raimon and Epsilon Kai happened. Episode 52, specifically.

Back then, I was in despair that Raimon was losing against Epsilon! And there was also a mysterious boy in a orange hoodie who kept popping up. He seemed to be in danger, why? (Please note I started watching Inazuma from Fubuki's debut.)

And then after going through a lot of trouble with aliens, the mysterious boy came to the field. I was confused to who he was, until he took off his hoodie and all of the Raimon cheered happily to see who he was.

It was Gouenji (or Axel back when I first watched)! I didn't know him at all, but from the past episodes I've watched, everyone seemed to admire him a lot. I wonder why?

And I got my answer when he began to play.

I JUST HJHKJHFDJKGF 12 YEAR OLD ME WAS AMAZED BY HIM???? HE WAS SO COOL, DODGING THEIR PLAYS AND WHEN HE SHOT FIRE TORNADO I WAS SCREAMING SO MUCH IN JOY. AND THEN THE MOMENT HE SHOT BAKUNETSU STORM WAS SO AWESOME, AND THAT SHOT OF HIM WHERE THE GOAL MADE IT IN AND HE HAD THIS COOL SMILE. IM SO!!!!!!

IT WAS RIGHT THEN AND THERE THAT HE WOULD BE MY FAVE. I LOVE HIM. I LOVE GOUENJI. i love one good flame boy sO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oops, sorry for...that. I'll be honest though, I fell in love more when he was Ishido??? Though, initially, I wasn't...accepting of this change of his. It was pretty hard for then 13 year old me at the time to accept that he was playing the bad guy! But I've changed my ways and realized...Ishido good. All Gouenjis Good.

Though, enough of Gouenji! I have other faves in the series as well!

In the OG series my faves are Kazemaru, Fubuki, Hiroto, and Haruna! My faves in GO are Kinako, Kariya, Taiyou, and Manabe! And my faves in Ares/Orion are Nae, Nosaka, and Norika!

It's hard to explain why I love them so much?? Since I got to know most of them when I was much younger and just liked them if they gave me...feelings. Anyways, yeah! Tbh, I love most of the characters in Inazuma anyway! They're all good and I appreciate them for what they are, even if they don't get to shine so much!!

Any favourite pairings? OTPs, BROTPs? Initially, I never really liked any ship in Inazuma, but I think the first pair I fell in love was RanMasa! It's my very first otp ever, so it holds a special place in my heart!

Now, aside RanMasa, I also really love NoriNae, KazeSaku, Honoo no Pride poly (Gouenji, Fubuki, & Someoka), HiroMido, Taiten, and NishiYuu!

As for BROTPs, I love Break Trio, Ares Teikoku, GO Raimon First Years, and Ares Hakuren!

Has there been any particular favourites moments within Inazuma Eleven so far? Why are they your favourites? Obviously, my favorite has got to be the Gouenji's comeback in the Aliea arc! Mainly because it's what solidified my love and appreciation for the flame striker! Though if there two other scenes that left a huge impact on me, it was probably Chrono Stone's Episode 18. Particularly, Kirino's inner struggle on how he feels that he can't keep up with Shindou, and then Kariya comes in and helps him by pretending to be sick so Kirino can go with Raimon instead to the France era. And the other, is the whole Dark Emperors versus Raimon match! I loved that episode with Kirino's struggle, mainly because it's kind of what made me love RanMasa and also appreciate both characters a lot more. Kirino is more than a pretty face, and despite Kariya knowing that he isn't on best terms with Kirino, decides to help him. It's really touching, actually, it made me love the ship!

As for the Dark Emperors versus Raimon match, it's...hard to explain why I like it so much? I think it's because I've always liked the trope of friends to enemies (for a time), and it kind of made me appreciate Kazemaru and Endou's friendship a lot!

What do you hope to happen for the next 10 years of Inazuma? Anything on your Inazuma wishlist you hope to happen in the future? Whether it be in Orion or any future IE series? I just hope nothing bad happens to the OG and new cast in Orion, please let them all play happy soccer ;____; and also, maybe an alternate GO series that follows after the Ares-verse??

Mention some awesome people, blogs or twitter accounts in the community To my long-time Inazuma PH pals, Lou, Sukki, and Ven, thank you for sticking with me for a really long time! Without Inazuma, I probably wouldn't have met you guys!! Also to my new Inazuma PH pals, Aru, thank you and hopefully we continue screaming abt Inazuma for the years to come!!

And to all the new Inazuma pals I've made during the past months since I got back into the fandom, thank you for all the fun times!! You're all cool and I love you all!

Thank you for taking part in the showcase Lulu! If you’d like to take part in the Inazuma Showcase Spotlight event, please follow the details in this post here!

#inazuma eleven #inazuma showcase spotlight #yuumanosaka #lulurionu

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themyskira · 6 years

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Wonder Woman #50 postmortem: “You know how strident Wonder Woman fans can be”

I want to cap off my readthrough of this unmitigated shitshow with a look at a recent interview James Robinson did with Newsarama, reflecting back on his twenty-issue Wonder Woman run.

I’m doing this for two reasons: One, because having read the full run and formed my own impressions (and, dare I say, some rather strident opinions), I genuinely do think it can be interesting to see what the writer has to say about it, what they were trying to achieve with it and, looking back, how they feel about the run.

And two, because having read what Robinson has to say, HOOBOY, I HAVE A FEW THOUGHTS OF MY OWN.

Newsarama: James, the one through-line of your entire run is Wonder Woman's twin brother, Jason. I know he was the motivation for you working on this book. Did you know the whole story before you started? Or did this story evolve as you wrote it?

James Robinson: I knew to a degree. As you said, I was specifically asked to pay off the gigantic plot point that Geoff Johns had left at the end of "Darkseid War." So it was always part of my plan.

Are. You. FUCKING. KIDDING ME.

The entire premise of this run. The wholesale derailment of Wondy’s Rebirth story. The rampant shredding of her newly-established Rebirth backstory. Sidelining Diana for the better part of a year in favour of a repulsive twin brother and some shit with Darkseid.

ALL OF THAT.

Served no wider purpose.

Was not intended to build towards some Rebirth metaplot or contribute to an overarching Justice League story.

Was mandated, in fact, for no other reason than that Geoff motherfucking Johns wanted to TIE UP A DANGLING PLOT THREAD FROM TWO-YEAR-OLD CROSSOVER.

He goes on.

Originally, I was going to be on it for a shorter period of time. I had originally planned to be on it for about eight issues, I think. And then when I was getting the twice-monthly book in on time (which is tough; they really beat you up), they asked me to stay on.

There are better, more eloquent arguments against the fortnightly publishing schedule — which is incredibly punishing for creators and prioritises quantity ahead of quality — but none, perhaps, are more simple or succinct than James Robinson got to write twenty issues of Wonder Woman because he got his scripts in on time.

And that gave me more time to develop Jason and play with him more.

I was careful to make sure it wasn't only about Jason, however. I was already getting crap from social media about how this is Wonder Woman's book and she should be the center of attention at all time. You know how strident Wonder Woman fans can be.

Well, that’s an interesting and thoroughly disingenuous interpretation of the critique.

The criticism was not that Wondy must be “the centre of attention at all times”, and therefore Robinson was wrong to spend any time developing any character other than her.

It was that Robinson turned Diana into such a passive, reactive — and, frankly, incompetent — character that she became barely necessary to the story at all. You could remove her from most of the issues in the Darkseid arc without affecting the progression of the plot at all, because she never does anything.

Yes, I got irate when Diana would routinely show up in six or seven pages of an issue, if she appeared at all. Funny thing, when I pick up a book titled Wonder Woman, I expect to occasionally see some actual WONDER WOMAN.

But that was the symptom rather than the problem. Because even when Diana was on the page, she was absent from the story.

And part of this is also about the characters Robinson chose to focus on instead of Wondy: Jason, Grail and Darkseid. Three characters that a lot of fans weren’t interested in, didn’t like and frankly resented having shoehorned into Wondy’s story. True, Robinson may have been asked to include them in the story, but it was his choice to prioritise them over Diana, and it was his writing that shaped Jason into such an odious character (something he confirms in the interview: Johns came up with the idea, he says, but “Most of who the character is now is stuff that I've actually come up with.”)

Put it this way: I didn’t see anybody complaining in December 2016 when Greg Rucka devoted an entire issue to Barbara Minerva’s backstory, did you?

But oh, I’m sorry, was that too strident for you?

Nrama: During your run, you tied into several events that were going on elsewhere in the DC Universe. Even this current story arc ties into Dark Nights: Metal and involves the Justice League. Was that a goal, to make Jason part of the greater DCU?

Robinson: Yes. I always do that stuff, though. I always try to tie into bigger stories. Whether it was my stuff at DC or what I did at Marvel, like Fantastic Four and Invaders and what-not, I always enjoy that about comic book universes. I like when writers try to embrace the whole place.

Here’s the thing about this.

I like the sandbox nature of a shared universe. I’m not a fan of event tie-ins, which have a tendency to derail the stories of individual books in order to aggressively market some company-wide crossover that I couldn’t care less about, but I like that there’s this whole wider world of heroes and villains and settings and mythologies that writers can draw on and play with. And you can tell some really cool stories out of the collision of those different mythologies and characters — think Phil Jimenez’s ‘Gods of Gotham’, for instance, where the Wonderfam and the Batfam are forced to team up when some of Batman’s most powerful rogues are possessed by Ares’ children.

That’s not the way Robinson loops the wider DCU into his stories, or at least it wasn’t in Wonder Woman.

Robinson goes for insider references, often obscure ones, of the sort that will only make sense to people who’ve been reading the same comics as him over the past three decades.

In WW #33, he introduced and then immediately killed off a rebooted version of the Atomic Knights in a four-page sequence that added nothing to the plot.

In WW #42, he featured a flashback to Jason fighting the Deep Six, a group of Jack Kirby villains. Ostensibly this is framed as a set-up by Grail to orchestrate her first meeting with Jason, but Robinson milks it to crack jokes about Kirby’s 1970s dialogue — and if you’re not familiar with the characters (as I wasn’t), their inclusion makes little sense.

In the same issue, Robinson also works in the Wild Huntsman… apparently for no other reason than to amuse himself… and again, if you don’t know who he is, you’ll have no idea why Grail is trying so hard to kill him or why you should care.

And then there’s the Metal tie-in.

Like I said, I don’t like event tie-ins, but it is possible to make them work. G. Willow Wilson’s Ms Marvel has been looped into a number of crossover events over the course of its life, and while I’d prefer that clusterfucks like Civil War II stayed the hell away from Kamala and her pals, Wilson has done an effective job of using these events as a springboard for some really interesting personal conflicts and character work. There’s no extra required reading for these stories; she gives you everything you need to know, so those who aren’t following the event aren’t at a disadvantage.

Robinson gives you nothing.

This is how he links the Dark Gods’ story into Metal:

Diana [narration]: Could I really have summoned this? When we wielded the Tenth Metal against Barbatos, it had the ability to wish thoughts into reality.* Ed. note: * See Dark Nights: Metal #6! — Chris

And a couple of pages later —

Karnell [narration]: ...our beautiful world — which you regard as the ‘Dark Multiverse’ — we see as a paradise… where we were more than even gods to our worshippers… we were everything!

I didn’t read Metal and I’m not planning to. That’s not a value judgement, it’s just not something that sparks my interest.

But it means I don’t know who the bloody hell Barbatos is, and I’ve never heard of the Tenth Metal. I don’t know what the Dark Multiverse is, or how it works, or how it differs from the regular multiverse. When Robinson says Diana made an inadvertent wish while she was wielding this Tenth Metal, I don’t know if he’s picking up on a story point in Metal that I need to read up on.

So right off the bat, Robinson has alienated anybody who isn’t familiar with the event comic he’s drawing from.

And what infuriates me is that at the same time as he was doing all this, Robinson was getting muddled by Wonder Woman’s continuity, conflating superseded New 52 canon with (contradictory) Rebirth canon, inadvertently retconning things and failing even to keep his own narrative consistent. I’d argue he needed to spend less time making references to other comics and more time making sure he understood the one he was writing.

Robinson: [...] what I've always loved about Wonder Woman is her strength. Even when she was in that phase in the white costume, where she didn't have her powers, she had great strength.

Oh, you mean this era?

The era where Diana lost not only her powers, but all of her training and skills? Where she became a weepy, insecure romantic heroine, reliant on men to guide and save her from her own inexperience and her uncontrollable female emotionality? The era where she was constantly crying over her latest rugged love interests? That awesome era?

(Also misogynistic, racist and homophobic as fuuuuuck, but that’s another discussion.)

One of the reasons that era ended was because Gloria Steinham [sic] said, "Hey, she's Wonder Woman! She's a superhero and you've taken away her powers!"

But I actually thought her lacking powers was like saying, I don't need them to be a strong woman. And I think that was almost a more powerful message. I was surprised Ms. Steinem didn't get that, to be quite honest with you.

This is a characterisation of Steinem’s role in that period of Wondy’s history that I’ve seen before (always from men in the comics field), and it’s never sit well with me. It carries an unpleasant shade of gatekeeping.

The implication is that Steinem’s feelings about Wonder Woman (a character had loved since childhood) were less valid or even flat-out incorrect because she hadn’t read the right comics, that she was an ignorant outsider who ruined a good thing by coming in with a political agenda and trying to make Wonder Woman about feminism, that she didn’t have a right to complain about the comic because she wasn’t a ‘real’ fan.

And what Robinson doesn’t mention, as critics of Steinem and Ms. Magazine’s lobbying for a return to the classic Wondy rarely do, is that this campaign was set against a backdrop of unimpressive sales numbers and a struggle over the new direction that eventually gave rise to an ambitious and quite likely divisive ‘women’s lib’ arc written by African-American sci-fi writer Samuel R. Delany, which was intended to culminate in Diana triumphing over a group of male thugs attempting to shut down an abortion clinic run by women surgeons.

I have no doubt that Steinem played an important role in the way events panned out, but I’m also not surprised the ‘women’s lib’ arc never made it past its first issue.

(It was a truly dreadful first issue, btw, though the whole story behind it and what Delany was trying to do with it is fascinating.)

But that didn’t stop DC from kicking off Wondy’s superpowered return with the murder of a composite character representing Steinem and female DC editor Dorothy Woolfolk (whose name had previously been floated as editor for the book).

Then as now, Steinem got blamed by the gatekeepers for daring to interfere with Wonder Woman.

Nrama: Do you think Jason picked up some of her strength over the course of his story arc during your run?

Robinson: I think so, at least at the beginning as he was starting to develop. Now, technically, I suppose he's more powerful than her in that he has the power of their father Zeus and the power of storms and air control and things like that.

I like the fact that when he's given this armor, he realizes that his sister should have gotten it.

And he knows that the powers he has do not make him the better hero.

He knows his sister is the better hero.

So by the end of it, he just wants to be worthy of her, which I think was a nice character arc for him.

I can see how Robinson tried to achieve this character arc, but I wouldn’t call it anything close to a success.

Jason started as a deeply, deeply unlikeable character. He’s deeply selfish and emotionally immature. He doesn’t think about the consequences of his actions, mostly because he’s only ever concerned about how things affect him. When he learns about the mother he never met, when his adoptive father vanishes, every time Hercules leaves on one of his journeys, as he follows his twin sister’s heroics through the media — his thoughts are never about them and what they’re doing, or how they’re feeling, or if they’re okay. It’s always about how they’ve failed him, wronged him, abandoned him.

When we first meet him, he is helping goddamn Darkseid to systematically murder his own siblings. And it’s not because he’s being mind-controlled, or elaborately manipulated into believing that Darkseid is the good guy. It’s because he hates the guts out of Diana, the sister he’s never met, because he believes he’s entitled to the life that she has, and he wants to kill her for it.

If you want to get your readers past all that, you need one hell of a redemptive arc, and that’s one thing Jason never gets.

Because what happens next, after Jason gets an attack of conscience and switches sides, is that he freeloads off Diana, trashes her house, guilt trips her when she tries to set boundaries, and then when, heroism and glory don’t immediately come easily to him, runs away from home in the middle of the night.

The next time we see him is when he returns with the armour and a personality change. He’s still inexperienced, brash, impulsive and annoying, but that’s more or less the extent of it — he’s no longer the thoroughly objectionable character we saw in his first seven issues, and there’s no real explanation for the change.

Really, the vast majority of Jason’s character development takes place in the space between his disappearing at the end of WW #40 and reappearing at the end of WW #41.

Nrama: Wonder Woman #50 definitely feels like it's an ending to your time on Jason's character, and even his time in the book.

Robinson: It definitely has an element of finality to it, but Jason can be there for other writers, or indeed me, if I ever got to write him again.

Excuse me? If you ever got to what now?

Nrama: Is that a hint?

Robinson: I do enjoy writing him. I have this vague fantasy of one day doing a story and calling the comic Jason's Quest, which is an old DC title.

But no one's asked me so far and probably won't. So it's just something in my mind right now.

please, dear god in heaven, please let it stay there.

#the james robinson shitshow #comics talk

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noonetosmilefor · 7 years

Text

Random questions

So, I got asked by @hopedreamssoul to answer all 150 questions. Thank you, darling. ❤️

1. Do you bite or lick ice cream? - Lick.

2. What is home to you? - Home to me can be a person, a place, a city, somewhere, where I feel alive, can be myself and happiest.

3. What was the last lie you told? - I told myself the lie that I’m going to bed earlier today. (And now I’m sitting here answering these questions.)

4. Does everyone deserve the truth? - Yes.

5. What is the creepiest toy ever made? - When I was a child I really hated these ‘trolls’. They freaked me out.

6. Describe a moment in which you did something unacceptable in a bad situation. - I told a friend to go to a shop near our town because they have cool new toys for dogs. I forgot that her dog died almost a month ago.

7. List two things that are more easily done than said. (No, I didn't mix them up.) - For me personally: Falling asleep and cleaning. (Idk, man.)

8. When was the last time you worked really hard to achieve something? - I can’t remember.

9. How many all nighters have you pulled? - About 10 or so.

10. If humans didn't evolve to laugh or smile, how would we express our happiness instead? - In hugs.

11. How many romantic "things" or "flings" have you had? - 3.

12. What is your paradise? - My personal paradise is when I can do what I want, be myself and with people I love to death.

13. What is your favorite background noise? (Ex. Water dripping, people talking.) - Rain.

14. How many hearts do you think you have broken? - I don’t know, I hope I’ve never broken anyones heart.

15. What is the most important thing about electronics? What does this say about you? - That people can communicate with each other, even though they’re miles apart. That say’s that I have a lot of friends who life far away from me.

16. Why do people care about celebrities? Do you care about celebrities? - I think it’s because it makes them happy to ‘care’ about someone else. If it gives them hope/motivation/happiness etc., why shouldn’t they care about them. I can’t say I ‘care’ about celebrities. It doesn’t affect me if a certain celebrity does something wrong or something like that. I really like a lot of celebrities and the way they’re. I like their music/acting skills and so on.

17. What is the most annoying thing someone can do to you? - Sitting beside me and chewing on their fingernails or eat noisily constantly.

18. Do you overexaggerate? What are the pros and cons of this? - Sometimes, depends on the situation. But I can’t think of any pros or cons, because it just happens sometimes.

19. Have you played any instruments before? Which instruments? - Yes, the transverse flute.

20. Do you like taking selfies? Why or why not? - Sometimes. It depends on my mood and look.

21. List 3 things you like about yourself? - My hair, my eyes and my honesty.

22. What is the best advice someone has ever given you? - “Travel the world, go on adventures without fear. Learn to get to know the unknown and do what you love.”

23. Do you have what it takes to raise a child? Why or why not? - I don’t think so. I don’t like children that much and I can get very moody and want to be alone a lot of time.

24. How do you cheer yourself up after a bad day? - Listening to my favorite band while laying in bed.

25. When was the last time you felt awkward? - Today.

26. Are you introverted or extroverted? Or a mixture of both? - A mixture of both. It always depends on the situation.

27. What constitutes a good friend? - Honesty, loyalty, the same humor, a good listener, someone who can put their phone away while being with me.

28. Would you rather have a lot of friends to hang out with or just one best friend? - One best friend.

29. In a regular day, what do you not want to hear? - That someone is pissed.

30. What is your dream job? - Something I love doing, that makes me happy. I want a job where I can be independent.

31. Is it better to be lazy but smart or hardworking but unintelligent? - Lazy but smart.

32. What is a truth about yourself that others find hard to believe? - That I’m crying a lot when I’m on my own.

33. What have you always wondered about the other gender? - Why do they have to be so stubborn all the fucking time?

34. Which fantasy world would you like to visit the most? - The Harry Potter world.

35. Describe the worst friend you have ever befriended. - She’s not a friend of mine anymore. She treated me like shit after she got together with her current boyfriend because he told her, that I’m not worth her friendship.

36. Imagine that you have switched bodies with someone you don't know. You can't switch back. What do you do? - I would want to find myself and find a way with that other person how to work this shit out.

37. If you found the recipe for immortality, would you sell it or would you burn it? - I would burn it.

38. What is the most important, applicable class you have ever taken? - Uh, I don’t know?

39. Name the last book you read. - “Achtnacht” by Sebastian Fitzek.

40. Imagine that you are unable to express emotion. How would this affect your world? - In a bad way of course. It would never be the same with friends again.

41. When was the last time you made the first move? - A week ago.

42. What is your opinion on electronic music such as dubstep or trap? - I personally don’t like it and wouldn’t say that this is ‘music’.

43. What was the last movie you watched? - Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2.

44. Do you like and appreciate your life? - Currently not really.

45. Do you like and appreciate yourself? - No.

46. When was the last time you cried? - Today.

47. What are you scared of? - Since my childhood, I was scared of the No-Face, don’t know why. It’s getting better, but I can’t watch the movie ‘Spirited Away’.

48. What is the most embarrassing, cringe-worthy thing you have ever done? - A lot of cringe-worthy things happen to me every day. But I’m not embarrassed easily.

49. What are some of your hobbies? - Listening to music, reading, going to the cinema with friends, attending concerts, traveling.

50. What is a superficial yet annoying mistake you constantly make? - I’m sometimes really sloppy.

51. Are you a good friend? What makes you a good friend? If not, what makes you a bad friend? - I think so. I’m a good listener and try to be as honest as possible. Also I want to make my friend’s days better.

52. Do you honestly learn from your mistakes? - No.

53. What have you learned the hard way? - That I can’t have everything and do everything I want to.

54. What is the most important thing to have in order to attain happiness? - Motivation.

55. Which medium do you use for expressing your artistic emotions? (Singing, writing, etc.) - Photography.

56. Are you a creative or a logical thinker? - Creative.

57. What is the smartest thing you have ever done? - I completed school successfully.

58. What is your ideal meal? - Italian pasta with sea food. Would die for that right now.

59. What is the worst thing someone could do on a date? - Not being honest.

60. Do you like animals? Which kind is your favorite? - YES. All kinds of animals.

61. If you could turn one legal thing illegal, what would it be? - Guns.

62. Do you have any guilty pleasures? - I sometimes really enjoy listening to trashy songs.

63. What is the best thing that the internet has ever created? - Fandoms.

64. Do you like playing video games? Which video games? - Not really.

65. What is your opinion on beauty in today's society? - Beauty is a good way for everyone to express how they feel. It doesn’t matter what you look like, the beauty lies within yourself. I think it’s great that big girls/boys also get recognized nowadays. Because they’re as beautiful as thin girls/boys.

66. Are you a morning person? When do you usually wake up? - Not at all. If I go to work I have to get up at 6 AM. If not, usually at 10 AM.

67. Do you have a favorite Disney movie? Character? - Yes. The Lion King. I love Nala.

68. Would you rather live in the city or in the countryside? - City.

69. Would you rather live near the ocean or in the mountains? - Near the ocean.

70. What are the best things about winter? - The snow, the cold storms and the silence that lies within a snowy day.

71. What scares you most about the future? - That I don’t know what might happen.

72. What makes you feel old? - Seeing tv shows I used to watch as a kid/teen.

73. How many hours do you spend on the computer or phone on average? - Uff, I think about 10 hours.

74. What are some of your New Year's resolutions? - Don’t have any.

75. What is your life story in 6 words? - Full of traveling and lovely friends.

76. Describe yourself in one word. - Ambitious.

77. What bad habits do you do? - I often command people.

78. What genre of music do you listen to? - I love love looove pop-punk.

79. Most prominent childhood memory? - The divorce of my mom and dad.

80. Imagine if you had an older brother. If you already have one, what is it like? If you don't, how would this change your life? - I think we’d do a lot more dangerous stuff and he would be over protective.

81. Spirit animal? - Sherlock Holmes.

82. Do you believe in horoscopes? - Yeah, kinda.

83. What is the worst advice you've ever been given? - “Be yourself.”

84. List the 3 most important people in your life right now. - My two best friends Iris and Marci and @hopedreamssoul. ❤️

85. Favorite memory of your family. - The chilled Sundays in our house.

86. What do you look for in a relationship? - Honesty, openness, loyalty, a bright smile, a kind heart, a good listener and someone adventurous.

87. Do you have a role model? Why or why not? - No, I don’t think so. I’m just who I am, I don’t need a role model.

88. What is your opinion on social media? - I like it. But it can ruin a lot too. I see people barely talking to each other when they’re out with friends because they constantly stare at their phones. I HATE that.

89. Are you a pessimist or an optimist? - Pessimist.

90. List some things that you think are overpriced? - Shoes, clothes, make-up, hygiene products.

91. What is your worst memory or creepiest experience? - The day my second mother (still don’t like the word ‘stepmom’) died. Basically the year 2012.

92. What superpower would ruin the world? - Immortality.

93. What is something you swore you would never do when you grew up, but you did anyway? - Drinking alcohol.

94. What lessons have you learned from movies and which movies were they? - That not everything’s what it seems and you have to work hard in order to achieve the things you want. Surround yourself with the right people, the ones you can trust. The Lord Of The Rings and Harry Potter movies, basically.

95. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go? - Currently, I’m in a ‘far-away’ mood. So New Zealand, maybe.

96. How do you approach people? - With a poker-face.

97. What is your opinion on first impressions? - The first impression isn’t what it is. You can’t judge a book by it’s cover. Or a book you’ve only read 5 pages in.

98. What are some things you did as a child that you no longer do? - I went outside a lot, dancing, playing the transverse flute.

99. What languages can you speak? - German, English, Spanish, a bit Italian.

100. What do you think society will be like in 30 years? - Mind-controlled over social media/phones/computers.

101. What do you do on your lazy days? - Laying in bed, reading.

102. What ended your last relationship? - Disagreements.

103. Favorite food? - I love the potato salat from my grandma.

104. What is the most terrifying dream you've ever had? - That my mom and I were trapped inside a cage of lions and the only way she could help me out is that she stays in the cage forever. I dreamed that dream every night when I was a child.

105. When was the last time you got seriously angry? - Yesterday.

106. What was the last friendship you broke? - With one of my former best friends/ex-boyfriend.

107. Do you have any pet peeves? - People with bad table manners, noisy eaters, animal cruelty, homophobic people.

108. Who was the last person you gave a hug to? - My sister’s best friend.

109. When was the last time you got seriously stressed? - Last Thursday.

110. What part of your personality do you want to change? - My mood changes.

111. Who is the most positively influential person in your life right now? - My dad.

112. What is your biggest motivation? - Watching other people succeed.

113. What did you want to be when you were little? - I wanted to be a veterinarian.

114. What are some things that you are good at? - Playing instruments, listening to other people, being funny and I’m also very spontaneous.

115. What is one thing you want to be good at? - Singing.

116. What distracts you the most, especially when you're trying to work? - My phone.

117. How important is privacy to you? - Very important.

118. If you could create one social norm, what would it be? - Being nice to everyone when you meet them, no matter what color/gender/sexuality or how the person looks.

119. What's the craziest lie you've ever told? - I don’t know. I’m not the person who’s telling crazy or big lies.

120. What story do you like to tell about yourself at parties? - I don’t attend parties that often, and if so, I wouldn’t be someone to tell a story about myself.

121. What is the lamest thing that you have seen someone do? - I don’t know.

122. What is the stupidest thing you've done to impress someone? - I smiled the whole time, even though I wasn’t really in the mood of smiling.

123. What is your morning routine? - Getting out of bed really slowly, going to the bath, getting dressed and run out of the house because I’m late again.

124. What's the last thing you did that is worth remembering? - I helped someone out who couldn’t help themselves.

125. If karma was coming back to you, would it help or hurt you? - Help.

126. What is your opinion on playing "hard to get?" - I don’t know anything about it, so.

127. What are the pros and cons of straightforward? - Pros: You can really be honest with everyone, they know you won’t lie to them; Cons: You may hurt some peoples feelings and may loose friends.

128. What do you consider "leading" someone on? - Showing someone the direction of life, idk.

129. Are you the friendzoner or the friendzoned? - Both.

130. What do you admire most about your friends? - Their smiles and honesty.

131. What do you admire most about your family? - They are all open-minded.

132. What is your opinion on "going with the flow?" - I personally am not going with the flow. But if it bring’s you joy, go for it.

133. Do you enjoy talking or listening? - Both.

134. When is it time to end a friendship? - When you have the feeling it’s not worth it anymore. When you’re distant and not interested in what the person is saying anymore.

135. What is the worst excuse you've ever come up with? - That I’m not feeling well. (I always use that excuse.)

136. If GPA didn't matter, what courses would you have taken? - GPA doesn’t matter where I live.

137. What are your favorite baby names? - Nick and Merry.

138. When was the last time you had a deep conversation with someone? - In February in Berlin with @hopedreamssoul.

139. What instantly ruins a conversation? - When a person is constantly interrupting someone.

140. Biggest turn ons and turn on offs.- Turn ons: Contagious smile, honesty. Cons: Disrespect and racist people.

141. Biggest disappointment. - Myself.

142. Do you have any self-restraint? - Not really.

143. When did you last do something outside of your comfort zone? - When I was in Lisbon with my family.

144. Prized possession(s)? - My books.

145. What is your opinion on second chances? - It depends on what the person did to you. I uneasily forgive people.

146. Text or call? - Text.

147. What do you like about the 21st century? - I can’t think of one single thing, well.

148. What advice would you give to yourself 5 years ago? - GO TO SCHOOL, YOU FUCK!

149. How organized are you? - Really organized.

150. Favorite mode of transportation. - By train.

#personal #personal tag #asks

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katinterrupted · 4 years

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They should know how sorry I am for all the people I've hurt in my life. My trauma fucked with me and I fucked for control and power. I didn't care who I hurt because I was hurt, I was broken, I was unclean.

I remember the first boy I kissed, in his(maybe his best friends) front yard, while his friend watched and I had NO idea what I was doing. That was in middle school, how old were we?

In elementary school we were suppose to be separated, boys in one room and girls in another, to learn about our changing bodies.. I faked sick that day because I was uncomfortable. I remember fourth(maybe fifth) grade this girl got her period and she had a purse! Other girls were looking in her purse but she wouldn't let me see, I didn't understand. During recess we would hang out by the slides on the play ground and I remember these girls talking, AOL and chat rooms were all the rage, about how people would message them saying, "click here if you want to see my girlfriend and I fuck.." I didn't know what fuck meant.. I said, "yea I click on those all the time.." (LOL) and they snickered and said you're sick, how gross.. I thought it meant fight.. how naive I was..

If you haven't caught on I was an awkward child and didn't really fit in. I didn't have friends and when I thought I had friends they liked my sister or our cats (again LOL) they didn't enjoy my company. I'd always be the butt of jokes or the odd one out. All I wanted was a friend..

I made one. She lived around the block from me and she was as weird and odd as I was. Her family was big and reminded me of mine if we would've been closer in age. Wed hangout everyday. Spend the night at each other's houses. I'm the youngest in my family, the seventh daughter. Her dad called me number seven and I thought I belonged. Her mom was off and never enjoyed me calling her mom, so I'd call her Mrs. First Name. But I'd call Mr. Generic Man Name, dad.

We were friends for two years and their marriage fell apart. Mrs. First Name and dad got a divorce and dad moved to a campground a little ways up north. Her oldest sister would drive us up there to see dad.

It was always so much fun, wed fish, play in the water, walk up to the little shop and buy snacks, grill, etc. All the things to pass by time, at least we got to have fun as a family again. Dad would be in his whitey tightys, but MY dad did that too so it was fine right.. he would always be close to me, but he was like that with all of us.

I was 11/12. We went to visit dad and he let us sit on his lap and steer the car at night while sitting on his lap.

*had to take a breather here, my heart started racing and I couldn't breathe*

I can't remember who went first, but dad was driving.. L and M were in the car too.. it was my turn and I was super excited. I couldn't remember the last time I sat on my parents lap to drive.. his left hand stroked my leg and squeezed, I tensed because I wasnt expecting it.

*had to call my husband in to calm me down, I was shaking and couldn't catch my breath*

His left hand explored my thigh, did I twitch? His fingers were now between my legs.. moving, exploring.. I never felt that before. Then we were back at the camper, I can't remember what else happened.

My friend moved in with her dad and went to a new school and made a new friend. Wed talk on the phone all the time, she would always be with her. I'd still get to go visit her and dad with everyone on the weekends.

She made a new and exciting friend. They were closer than wed ever been and her friend flashed a guy that offered her money. They talked about bjs and sex and I was clueless. "Man shes so cool," "I'm going to lose my best friend," were thoughts that would cross my mind. I only ever kissed a one boy and no ones even touched my boob yet.

I met a boy who I wanted to let touch my chest, we watched tv and cuddled. This would be the third boy I kissed and he was SO good at it. We made out and he groped my chest, I felt a tingle.. what's this? It was familiar, but felt wrong. He went under my shirt played with my nipples, I was trembling.. I felt how stiff he was through his jeans, he slid his hand down, above my pants between my legs. He wasn't suppose to touch me there! I moved his hand up so hed stop. He kept going. It felt so good, but wait.. my mind was racing..

I knew this feeling..

I was steering the car..

But I was family.. he was like my second dad..

He tried to unbutton my pants, I asked him to stop, my mind was still going.. he tried to put his hand down my pants without unbuttoning them this time and I grabbed his hand and said you should go.. he left angry and I remember watching him walk away, still confused about what was going on.

What was going on?

I went to my room and cried.. what happened.. how did he know to do that.. was it suppose to feel that good.. WHAT WAS HAPPENING?????

I'm not sure when I realized a man that i trusted, that my parents had trusted, that treated me like a daughter, that I called dad, molested me.

1. My first time having sex I was 13. The words that came out of my mouth were, "I just want to get it over with," it hurt so bad

2. The second boy(we were children) I had sex with we were both 13, our birthdays were only days apart. He invited me over for a cinco de mayo party. I took his virginity in his basement bathroom. We dated and I hurt him

3. I had drunken sex with another boy who had just kissed his girlfriend goodnight moments before. I played stupid. Like I was the victim. I enjoyed doing it in the open it was exhilarating

4. There was another boy who was a thug. He kept me on my toes and I'd sneak him through my bedroom window while his mom delivered the news. I cut up everything I had of his

5. I met a boy, cute as a button. He liked to work on cars and we cuddled all night while my friend fucked his friend in his sisters bedroom. We kissed.

6. Button boy invited me to his friends house to party, I proceeded to get hammered and had sex for four hours with the guy who's house it was. He ended up being my first love and I ruined it. I fucked him up emotionally.

7. There was a boy I had a crush on who jumped from the roof of my friends garage. I had THE biggest crush on him. He invited me to hangout with his cousins, he fucked me in the door way of his bathroom in his bedroom. Mistake #1. I was feeling hopeless.

8. Went to CA with my family and met a bunch of marines across the way from us. Mistake #2 We were walking to the beach I made him follow me into an alley and pushed me against the wall.

9. He said he wasnt with his baby momma anymore, he lied. We did it in his friends minivan outside of my house, down the street, outside of a Halloween party, in the laundry room, I think I only liked him because I wasnt suppose to

10. We worked together and his dick was big, his face was hit

11. He had a girlfriend, we fucked in his basement

12. I asked him to stop when he was too big, there was blood on my bed and he laughed and left

13. The shaft was crooked, but he could drive a stick

14. When I was young my friends sister was suppose to baby sit us but she wanted to meet these boys, we went over there and this guy kept throwing me over his shoulder and taking me to a dark room and closing the door, m friend stepped in and told her sister we needed to go

15. We were naked in his bed on the second floor, I watched his exgirlfriend climb through the window and he climbed over me to go talk to her

16. There was skull vodka on top of his fridge and an AR under his bed

17. In his charger, he got me pregnant when I told him I didn't want to be with him anymore, I got an abortion and he stalked me for a while, I was scared a lot of the time. We shared trauma so we were together for a minute, he got me through some rough times

18. Can't remember how we met, but his spit on my pussy and I felt like a porn star

19. He was tall and strong and could spin me around no problem

20. I sat on my friends lap at a house party, he was the only one I thought I trusted. He stuck his hands down my pants and I hit him with a right hook off the porch

21. He wasn't interested in me and I like the chase, he didn't know I was in a relationship when it happened

22. We walked to meet each other and had sloppy whatever that was in the bedroom while there was a party in the basement

23. I went to his house because he was cute and rode a crotch rocket, he was rough and I kept telling him no. He didn't talk to me after that

24. Won a game of beer pong and he said he wanted to kiss me. We were FWB for three years

25. I gave his dick a heat rash from all the dry humping we did, he always made me squirt

26. I think we got take out and fucked by accident, cant remember it, but I know it happened

27. Used this guy only to get mine and then I'd leave, sorry about that one

28. At MSU I had sex with this guy in a walk in closet, he ignored me and I called his phone over 52 times

29. Made out at the park, would've gone farther if the cops didn't ask us to leave

30. He was the bigger twin, not impressive

31. Helped demo your late uncles house and you bent me over the couch in the other room

32. You couldn't keep it up and I laughed in your face and said I hope this doesnt happen with everyone

33. I didn't want to be alone anymore, was with a guy who peed on his brothers shoes, in the dresser (often,) on a window sill, his pores let off booze.. disgusting

34. He was almost 30, he wanted more and I didn't

35. Met on scout, you were a UofM fan, I wore MSU sweats over and your brother almost kicked me out, we only made out and then you were a dick when I didn't want more

36. Your bedroom walls were sheets, this is what a brothel must feel like

37. Shit house drunk and didn't realize it was your brother, your resemblance was uncanny

38. The only person I went skinny dipping with and then hit up TB drive through and walked into my house naked

39. Woke up and you were kissing my thighs, you realized I woke up and went straight for it. Haven't woken up to sex in a long time

40. Made out with a guido in his bathroom, he had braces

41. MDMA and I was completely inside of the couch, no idea how that happened. Another time I came over and was about to walk in the house. There was a cat by the door who I'd let inside. We smoked and laid in the living room. You said you didn't have a cat when it came out from behind the curtains

42. Completely unsure of how it happened, but ended up with you a few times when I thought I was going to see someone else.. oops

43. You'd always come with me to walk my dog, had a crush on you and never thought anything would happen. I liked you and you missed your ex

44. Walked to the closet 711, a man commented on my body I say ooooookay and he followed me around while threatening me, the guy behind the counter said I was about the press the panic button after the guy left, he was skin and bones. I was 14

45. You had your med card, I met up at your sorority. You said you and your gf had an open relationship, I never knew if you were serious

46. Only guy to put me in cuffs

47. I remember we met upon the back of a parking lot and did bump after bump, we got a motel room and you did them off my body. We sat naked in the bathtub. You couldn't keep it up. I watched you leave in the morning.. I saw your wife and kids within the next few weeks

48. A guy grabbed me at the club, right by the waist and started grinding on my behind. I turned around and pushed him away by putting my hand in his face. I was so glad I was short in the crowd and got away, he was scary mad

*I got lost looking out the window, theres a tree that slightly moves in the wind and snow covering the ground.. I'm listening to the laundry that needs to be finished*

49. My car went to shit and I met at auto repair to talk about the cheapest options. It was summer I was in my running shorts and baggy tshirt. I watched him lick his lips when he asked me if I worked out.. "I can tell by your legs," looking back now, my ITB were just tight because I didn't know how to stretch them correctly. He was 30 years older than me

50. I walked by you to get into the kitchen, you were sitting in a chair near the door way. You grabbed me by the inner thigh and grazed my vagina. I screamed at you in front of all who were there. No ones ever did that to you before

51. Up at MSU we went to a frat party and when we were all walking up(down?) the stairs a buy was sitting there grabbing/slapping asses as they walked by. I put my hand in his face and slammed his head into the wall. People weren't happy, but I didnt give you consent to touch my body. I'm not yours

52. There was a pistons game we went to, you were an asshole in the parking lot as we were leaving. I thought the people were going to pull a gun on all of us. We all drank and I said I was going to sleep on the couch. You kept getting closer to me, putting your hands on me.. I told you I'm not interested, I really need to sleep on your couch. You looked distressed, said okay and apologized, thank you

53. I was lonely and came over. You were on top of me saying dirty things and your own name.. I still laugh about how weird that was

*when I started the numbered I was trying to remember people I had slept with. But then abuse would come back into my mind and I thought I should put it in. For the ones who say boys will be boys or they're just having fun.. YOU'RE THE PROBLEM.

54. I had eaten an edible and became one with your couch, you took me up to your room and tucked me into bed. In the morning I wake up and you were sleeping downstairs on the couch, you said you snore fucking loud, thank you

55. We got TB on the way back to your house, you asked the guy at the window if he smoked tree and threw him a bag. When you were on top of me I felt the hole in your ribs, I hated everything that moment and didn't know what I was doing or why on earth I was there. We both have babies now. I can't remember who you were with but you took my hand and looked at my ring. With the largest smile and saddest eyes, your eyes were always sad and I never noticed, you said, "congratulations.. I'm so happy for you.. no I'm serious," you gave me a big hug, "you deserve to be happy." Have you always been as broken as I was?

56. We went out to celebrate my sisters boyfriends birthday. I was sitting right next to you and you told me the guy sitting across from you kept looking at my chest, I never knew I could ask someone to stop something I never happened to see

57. Took a late night trip to meijer. I didn't have a bra on, I was wearing an oversized tshirt and I asked an employee where something was, he kept looking at my chest, I pointed from my chest to my face. His cheeks turned rosey and scurried away

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