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justinewt · 1 year

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Let Bygones Be Bygones - TWD REWRITE Chapter Seventeen

[TWD FANFICTION-MASTERLIST]

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Summary: Anna had had enough with the Commonwealth. She wasn’t going to be spend her whole life in this place. It had a semblance of security and they could have a more comfortable life than they did out there but it wasn’t home to her, and it would never be. She was already on edge and seeing her father showing up at the door of the apartment she shared with Carol, it set her off.

Words: 5.7k

Warnings: TWD spoilers season 11 (episode 17 “Lockdown”, episode 18 “A New Deal”, mention of episode 19 “variant”), angst, yelling, grief, loneliness, rant, blood, deaths

For a couple days after the birth of her baby girl whom Anna had named her late mother, the infant had had to remain at the hospital since she was a premature baby, well, she was a late preterm baby. That’s how the doctor put it. Because she was doing really well and was a healthy baby, Anna got her back. She breastfed her quite often and was doing just so before joining the others in the living room. Judith, RJ and Gracie were all seated at the table, quietly drawing and coloring while Carol was going through a pile of sheets of paper, or something like that, leaning on the kitchen counter. The apartment was peaceful, if it weren’t for Adam, trying to run to his mother as she sat down on the couch, her baby resting on her chest. Carol quickly glanced at her and gave her a sweet smile. Now that her and Alden’s child was born, she would soon be out of here. Maybe would she see her father again, she had no idea if he would ever deign to come back. He left, so he probably didn’t care about her or her children anymore.

“Aunt Carol?” The latter raised her head at Judith calling to her. “The blueberry pancakes are burning.”

“Oh. Oh, no.” She let go off the documents she was looking at and turned around to the cooking board, grabbing a spatula and picking the pan up from the hob and joked; “You don’t like them burned?”

“Not really.” The children chuckled while Judith stood up. Anna was only listening to them with one ear as she rested her eyes, Lucille sleeping curled up on her chest and Adam sitting next to her on the couch.

“You’re missing out.”

“Kelly took these?” Anna slightly opened her eyes, rolling her head to the side. Judith was by the kitchen counter and what the young woman had thought were documents were actually a bunch of pictures. Carol nodded. “What for?”

“So we can learn about this place. Keep an eye on things.” She said, putting the pan back and wiping her hands with a towel.

“When are Uncle Aaron and Uncle Daryl coming back?” Judith enquired.

“Why? You like their cooking better?”

“No way.” She giggled. “Unless there’s a campfire, Daryl has no idea what he’s doing.”

“My dad’s a good cook wherever he is.” Gracie added proudly.

“They’ll be back soon.” Carol then told them. It was understandable that the children were worried about their loved ones being away from home. Anna knew the feeling too well, and it wasn’t nice. It got her wondering where her dad had gone, maybe he was dead by now. It would be easier to dislike him if he was never coming back at all. She could mourn him while still be angry and never having to think of forgiving him but as always, despite the fact that she felt hurt, she still somewhat wanted him back. It was a never-ending cycle. Anna was about to close her eyes again, but she saw Carol step towards the window and look out, her face tensing up for some reason.

“What is it?” She asked, apparently voicing Judith’s thoughts as well.

“Maybe nothing.” She then walked back to the counter. “All right. You guys get up. We got to move.”

“But breakfast…” RJ was a bit disappointed as everybody started moving around, putting their things away. Anna stood up and Adam hoped off the couch, clinging to the bottom of her top.

“No, we’ll come back later. Right now, we got to play the quiet game.” And on her words, they all went to hide in different spots around the appartement and sure enough, a couple minutes later, two people walked inside their home and looked around. The children hid in the cupboard in the kitchen while Anna and Carol stood on the balcony, where they couldn’t be seen from inside. They only got out when the two finally left the place. Carol helped the children pack their things. Anna put Lucille into her baby sling which she wrapped tightly around her chest to hold her baby in place while someone helped her by carrying Adam for her. Wherever they were going, the toddler who wasn't yet 2-years-old, wouldn't be able to keep up with them. “We’re just gonna have a little adventure today, okay?” When she turned to the door, she froze in place. Footsteps were seemingly coming their way. “I need you guys to go back to the bedroom and wait. And don’t come out until I call. Go.”

“Come, Adam.” Judith took the little boy’s hand and brought him along with them after Anna asked her too. The children left, jogging back to their room. Carol glanced at Anna over her shoulder as she walked to the door and the latter stayed there. The grey-haired woman only opened the door when someone on the other side of the door told her it was clear and Anna saw Jerry standing in the hallway but once the door was fully opened, she felt her heart stop for a minute and just stood there in shock and surprise, subtly shaking her head, taking a step back without even realizing. Jerry wasn’t alone. Her father was there too. She couldn’t believe what she was seeing. It felt like seeing a ghost.

“Turns out you might’ve been right… I probably should’ve stayed in the goddamn cabin.” He adressed Carol, having not looked inside yet and seen his daughter standing in the background but when he noticed there was someone else after Carol looked behind her and he followed her gaze, his smile dropped. They stared at each other for at least a dozen of seconds before Jerry cleared his throat and stepped inside, putting an end to the awkwardness of the moment. The shock on Anna’s face quickly let other feelings take over, showing her anger and resentment. It had been six months already, since she learned from Maggie that he decided to leave her on her own. She was taking it as an abandonment and was beyond hurt. The young mother gave him the cold shoulder when he tried to approach her, just turning her back to him and leaving the room to go put her baby girl in her cradle before joining them around the table, which was now cleared from the children’s stuff. The wound he opened by abandoning her wouldn’t be one easy to mend. If their relationship ever was to heal from this, it would take some time, and a lot of effort on his part. He was the one that hurt her after all. She only ever wanted him to be by her side through her pregnancy after she lost Alden, and he just failed her, again. She was probably going to remind him of that if he tried apologizing. It was probably childish, but she wanted him to feel bad because of his action because to her, it was nothing compared to the pain she felt and loneliness she went through. Anna sat on a chair, facing her father and crossed her arms, kind of slouching back and either staring at him when he spoke, or looking at the table. She didn’t realize that she was sitting in a similar manner as he used to at the Sacntuary. Jerry was guarding the door, watching the hallway.

“Hornsby tried to scare Maggie by interrogating Hershel. So the thought is that he is somehow gonna try to use the kids to draw our people out.” He explained.

“That’s why they came for Daryl.” Carol concluded, frowning and Negan nodded. “But if Hornsby sent those two, he’s trying to keep it under the radar. Which means we might be able to get ahead of them… and him. Jerry, do you still have access to that attic space?”

“Yes, ma’am. Stocked with supplies, like you asked.”

“Keep the kids there and get word to the others. Tell them to be ready to move on your signal.”

“I’ll start the chain.”

“Ready for what?” Negan wondered. “I mean, this doesn’t seem like the kind of place that you can just stroll out the front gate, hand in hand.”

“That’s why me and you are gonna go try to get some insurance.” Before they all went their way, they checked everything and Anna went to grab her baby, and her father appeared in the doorframe, hesitantly stepping towards her. The rest of the children walked back to the living room, and they could hear Carol and Jerry quietly speaking for a second.

“How are you?” Anna stopped what she was doing, just clutching onto the bars of the crib and let out a short and bitter laugh, turning to him.

“How can you possibly ask me this? The same day, I learn that Alden’s dead and that you took off cause of what? You were scared Maggie was gonna kill you someday? I can actually believe this one, but that you left because you thought I’d be better off without you?” She shook her head in disbelief. “Where did the “it’s you and me now” go? What happened to sticking together?”

He was left speechless by her rant and she walked out of the room after securing her baby in the sling. Jerry helped by carrying Adam as they made their way across the protest going on outside. After some shady things that the son of Pamela did, people were understandably angry, and out in the street demanding justice. Jerry and Anna were constantly looking around them, fearing to see the two people that came into the apartment earlier following them because they could guess those people didn’t want them any good, to them and to the children. A minute later, Jerry looked over his shoulder and Anna followed his gaze and that’s when they saw those exact two people tailing them, a little further away in the crowd. Jerry put a protecting hand behind the children.

“Little help. I got a tail.” He addressed a man standing to the side, holding a sign. The latter didn't enquire further and nodded, taking other people with him and they blocked the way to the man and woman following them, giving them a head start. Jerry bent over to the kids. “Keep up with me and Anna, okay? Come on. Go.”

The small group quickened their pace, taking a turn as they left the square. They passed a building. Towels and clothes hung on lines, drying in the open air. Jerry pulled out a long towel after they passed to hide them a bit as he trotted over to the platform leading to the fire escape running up the apartment building, and hastily pulled the ladder up so he could climb up, all while holding firmly the little boy with one arm. Anna looked behind them, a hand on her baby dozing in the sling, her head resting against her chest probably lulled by the beating of her heart. Jerry urged the children to climb up the ladder, one after the other and once Judith joined them up there, he turned to Anna, motioning for her to go. She didn’t waste any more time and climbed. Once they were all up there, Jerry quietly pulled up the ladder and they took the stairs to hide higher up while the two people tracking them were already there, looking for them just below their feet. The children and Anna sat on the stairs, close together and Jerry crouched down in front of them, holding himself against the wall, away from the railing and looking down through the bars. They just had to cross their fingers that they wouldn't be found.

Jerry accidentally pushed some of the hay on the ground and it fell as the man was walking away. He turned around and looked up. Everyone had a worried and anxious expression on their faces. Anna held Adam on her laps, holding her breath. After what seemed like an eternity, but was really only a few seconds, the man finally left and they could all breathe a sigh of relief. Jerry turned his head to the kids, giving them a reassuring wink and looked up. Anna followed his gaze, seeing a gray-haired lady watching them from the window. She must have been wondering what the hell they were doing there hiding on the emergency stairs on her floor.

“Hello there. Small favor, please.” He glanced at the children as he spoke. The lady was confused and puzzled but she nodded and came to open the door, letting them in the building.

They then joined Daryl and the others near a hangar on the outskirts of the Commonwealth. While Daryl packed guns into bags and carried them into the back of a carriage parked there, Anna stood facing the forest after she had just finished breastfeeding her baby girl. She had secured Lucille in her sling already so her arms were free, when Adam came trotting to her, almost tripping on a stone. He lost his balance and grabbed hold of his mother's leg. She looked at him with a tender smile stretching her lips. She had made drawings of Alden, to remember him, but these two children were living memories of her time with Alden. She never wanted to experience the gut-wrenching heartbreak of losing a significant other, ever again so she promised to herself never to let that kind of love poison her heart a second time. Even though she had never envisioned herself as a mother, let alone a single mother, she felt an unshakable love for these two little ones and would sacrifice anything for their safety which meant that if she did give her father one last chance and he did something putting the family she built with Alden in danger, he would be a goner. She walked in front of the hangar, joining the others. Aaron and Maggie just finished talking, walking off in opposite directions; Gracie and Judith chatting in the doorway of the warehouse and Carol talking with Lydia. Some of them were getting the car ready to head off to other communities but she stayed here. Still, it was safer for now to stay with her children in the Commonwealth than to wander around in the wild with a newborn and a toddler.

“Anna.” Head lowered, looking at her dozing baby in her arms, Aaron's voice snapped her out of her contemplation, and she turned. They weren't particularly close, but Aaron had always been kind to her. She remembered how he had always trusted her even when no one else would, and how worried he was to let her go to the Commonwealth after Alden's death, but he still never allowed himself to question her decisions. She was an adult and her own person, and he was certainly not her dad. Gracie was lucky to have him. He smiled at her as he came to talk to her before leaving. They hadn’t talked at all since she left Alexandria, over six months ago. “How are you holding up?”

“We survive.” She answered vaguely, shrugging. He gave her a sympathetic look and then smiled at the baby. Anna followed his gaze. The newborn was staring at him with her big eyes.

“Hello you.” He said softly. “What’s her name?”

“Lucille.” She paused, biting her lip. “It was my mother’s name.”

“Well, I’m sure she’s very proud of you, Anna. Take care, okay?” She nodded, mumbling a “yeah” and he carefully drew her into a hug, giving her a friendly smile as he walked to his own daughter near the warehouse. Anna let out a deep breath, closing her eyes briefly and wiping away a tear with her thumb. She wished her father were there, comforting her like he should, but he wasn’t, and she resented him for it. She met Lydia's gaze, who was busy near the carriage with Elijah, and the two young women waved to each other with a smile. Lydia was a good kid. Anna watched the carriage leave with Jerry at the reins and Aaron, Lydia and Elijah on board. Only Anna, Maggie, Daryl, Carol and the kids stayed. After a few seconds looking at their friends driving away, they left the warehouse, going back into the Commonwealth. They were preparing to leave this damn place with the rest of their people still inside. The children stayed outside in the square while Carol went to see Ezekiel and Anna went home to the apartment.

She put her baby in her cradle and let Adam play with some toys left on the floor and she walked into the living room, breathing a heavy sigh, hearing her son chuckle in the background. She opened the patio doors to let in the fresh air and pulled a folded sheet of paper from her trouser pocket as she leaned against the kitchen counter. She unfolded it and observed the sketch she made of Alden smiling. The more she looked at the picture the more she felt the tears welling up. She let out a sob and brought her hand to her mouth, her lips quivering, letting her back slide against the counter and she sat on the floor. She cried quietly so as not to alert Adam and after a minute or so, someone knocked at the door. She stood up, looking at the door in confusion as she was wiping away the tears that had flowed. It was strange. If it was Carol, she wouldn’t have had to knock because she already had the keys. Anna put the drawing on the counter, went to wet her eyes with cold water so that they seemed less puffy after she had cried and she approached the door to look through the peephole. There was her father on the other side of the door and a woman with dark black hair next to him. She had no idea who this was and frowned as she opened the door, not giving them a very warm welcome.

“Carol isn’t here. What do you want?” She didn’t even open the door at first, really not wanting to see her father face to face because given the look on his and the woman’s faces, they were here to talk to her, not Carol or anyone else and Anna didn’t like not knowing why.

“Anna, please. Can you open the door?” Anna eventually gave in and unlocked the door before stepping away, arms crossed over her chest and stood near the window, looking out. She heard the door open and close and turned around, glaring at the two of them.

“Who the fuck is that?” The woman took a step forward and Negan glanced at the latter as he started to speak.

“I meant to introduce you to each other. Anna, this is Annie, my, uhm… my wife.” Anna felt her heart and stomach sank to her boots and let her arms fall to her side as she took a step back, unconsciously. Her eyes widened. She had such a bitter feeling at the back of her throat. She couldn’t believe it and shook her head, her lips pursed, staring at her father like he just told her he had a bomb about to blow up the whole town. This was maybe the last thing she wanted to hear him tell her; that he got a new wife, after leaving her to her fate.

“No.”

“Anna…” He came towards her.

“No.” She rose her voice at him, gritting her teeth, rage filling her eyes and he looked at her saddened by her reaction. “Tell me this is all a fucking joke, and you didn’t abandon me after my boyfriend died, when I was pregnant and already had a son—” She was trying so hard to keep it together but the whole situation was so frustrating and aggravating for her that she could no longer fight the trembling in her voice and the tears that clouded her eyes again. She thought she was beyond hurt by his departure but discovering that in the six months she had been alone in the Commonwealth, he had built a new life for himself. She couldn't accept it. He tried to approach her, reaching out his hand to her but she pushed him away vehemently. “Don’t touch me.”

“Anna, please. Your father—”

“No.” She cut Annie off, walking past her father to face the woman he had just called his wife. “You don’t call me. You don’t talk to me. You just don’t.” She sighed, closing her eyes for a second. “Just get out.”

“Anna—”

“Get the fuck outta here!” She turned to her father, shouting at him as she pointed at the door.

“Mommy.” When Adam’s voice rose from the hallway leading to the bedrooms, it was as if the heated argument had been put on hold. She stopped, turning her head to her son as he ran towards her and held out his arms for her to carry him. It was as if he sensed something was wrong and ran to help his mom. She placed a kiss on the head of the little boy of almost 2 years. Annie didn't seem to blame Anna for her reaction and smiled tenderly seeing her interact with the toddler while her father was torn, wanting to smile as well but he felt too bad and too shameful in front of his daughter to do so.

“I'll take Adam back to the bedroom; you better get out of this apartment before I get back. Especially you.” She said calmly, looking at her father sideways as she walked away. Entering the children’s room, she could hear Annie and Negan exchange a few words quietly and the young woman exhaled when she heard the door open and close again. Anna told her son to play in the room and that everything was all right and she returned to the living room, where she had the unpleasant surprise of finding Annie still there, facing the counter, looking at something she was holding in her hands. “What are you still doing here?”

“This was your boyfriend? Alden?” As she turned to Anna, the latter saw that what she was looking at was nothing less than the drawing she had left lying on the kitchen counter before they entered.

“Yes.” She replied sharply, snatching it from her hands. She looked down at it for a few seconds and swallowed before folding the sheet up and putting it back in her pocket, addind a little comment to show how different he was from Negan. “He was a good man who would never have abandoned his family.”

“I know who your father is, and what he did.” Anna responded with a bitter laugh.

“You don’t know shit.”

“Maybe. You are his daughter. You have a history with him and I'm not going to come into your life thinking I know everything about you. Because he talked about you very often, you know?” She was talking to her in a very calm and composed tone but Anna didn't let her coldness towards her fall, which didn't seem to upset Annie at all. She might have liked her, in other circumstances. Still, she wanted to hate her with every fiber of her being but she let her talk. “None of us have clean hands, Anna. I’ve seen what people will do to each other to survive, sometimes it was done to me other times I did it to them. I’m not proud of it but it happened. All I can do now is try to be better, just like him.”

“Maybe.” Anna lowered her voice to match Annie’s tone and she stepped next to her, talking right to her ear. “You think you know him, but really, you don’t. I was convinced I could change him into a good person. It took over six years for my father to be as you know him today. And he showe me it’s still not who he really is. I know what to expect with him and I love and hate him for it. Be careful. What’s bred in the bone comes out in the flesh. Just keep that in mind.” She nonchalantly walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge to get some water. Without realizing, she had the very particular underlying menacing tone but with the detached air that her father took when he spoke to the people at the Sanctuary. “You can't act like I didn't tell you when he bashes someone's brains in without blinking.”

“I don’t believe he’ll ever be the man he was at the Sanctuary again.”

“You have great faith.” Anna shot up her eyebrows, taking a sip of the glass she had filled with water and leaning against the counter. She watched Annie walk over to the door. Before the latter clicked the handle and left the apartment, she glanced at Anna.

“There was something else we wanted to share with you. I’m pregnant. And he wanted you to come with us to the hospital since I have an ultrasound to do. You can join us there if you want. You’ll always be welcomed.” If looks could kill, Annie would be lying dead on the floor right now. Anna wanted to yell and swear at her but the shock of this news had frozen her in place. She was shaking when she walked over to the couch, leaning on her knees, resting her forehead on her clasped hands. Aaron told her that her mother must be proud of her but the young woman kind of doubted it after seeing herself get so upset and aggressive. All the shit she went through had messed her up. If Alden was there, it would all have been very different. She would have been less lonely and depressed throughout her pregnancy and maybe, she would have held less grudges. Maybe.

After she finally found the baby carrier she was looking for, she got the children ready and walked out of the apartment., crossing the city to go to the hospital, where she would find her father and Annie. She stopped by the front desk. The person at the reception told her the floor on which she would find them and she thanked them before taking the elevator, still wondering why she had even come here.She walked down the hallways, looking at the number on each door she walked by, trying to stay out of the way of the doctors and nurses. She called out to a doctor who was coming out of a room. Anna didn’t who she was as it wasn’t the practitioner who had cared for her during her pregnancy.

“Excuse me, you wouldn’t happen to know where I can find Negan Smith and, uh, Annie? I’m Annabelle Smith. He’s my father.”

“Oh, well, they're right there in this room, you can go see them now.” Anna nodded, giving a brief smile at the doctor before she turned around and walked away. Since the young woman had addressed as she closed the door behind her, it was still ajar. Anna hesitated a little more and reminded Adam to keep quiet, just like he was in the hallway. They then stepped in the room and stopped behind a wall when she heard her father and Annie talking.

“This all getting too real for you?”

“No.” He assured. “But it is real.”

“It’s all gonna be fine.” There was a silence and Annie spoke again. “Staying here isn’t an option.”

“Yeah.”

“It’s not.” She insisted. “There are people looking to us. I can’t risk them. I won’t.”

“You know, I keep hearing my dad’s voice inside my head…” He chuckled. “saying, “your life is… is not your own once you have kids. It’s never the same”. I always just wanted to know what that meant.” Anna quietly breathed out, closing her eyes as she leaned against the wall. “And I got Anna, and I did mistakes after mistakes. I disappointed her and failed her over and over. I never seemed to get it right with her. I got to know what it meant, and I threw it all away.”

“Then do better. Give her time.” Annie said softly. “Be there for her and her kids. Be there for our child. We don’t need this place. ‘Cause it’s us now. The six of us.”

“Yeah.” Negan replied in a whisper. Anna pursed her lips, gulping and walked out of the room. Like Annie said, she needed time to accept this new situation, no matter if she forgave her father for the times he let her down in the past. At least she had the proof that he did feel bad about it and it made her somewhat less angry but she was still too hurt to have this conversation with him just yet. Later that day, as it was Founder’s Day in the Commonwealth, stalls and other entertainment were set up in the town's main square, with the biggest event of the day being a boxing match. Anna was too preoccupied and upset to attend with the others, so she stayed at the apartment, her daughter napping in her crib and her son playing in the living room. She was sitting in the frame of the French windows and watching the festivities below through the bars of the railing of the small balcony. She could hear the locals cheering and booing the contestants, who were dressed in funny boxing clothes as it was really for entertainment purposes rather than real fighting. Punches and falls were controlled and calculated. She saw Judith, Daryl and Carol in the audience. Anna found it was a lot of fuss for a not-so-interesting sight. After the fight was over, the audience chanted and clapped while a man carried a lottery ball machine and put it down on a small table at the center of the ring. Pamela took a microphone that was handed to her, a big smile on her face and spoke.

“Let’s extend a hearty thank-you to our combatants!” The public cheered some more, and she continued. “And now, to continue with this wonderful day, my son, Sebastian, has prepared a few words.”

“Thank you.” He looked down at at a notebook he held against his chest every now and then. Squinting her eyes, Anna saw that people were whispering and giving each other annoyed looks. “It is, uh… It is an honor and a priviledge to be with you today to celebrate the, uh… to… I, um…” He stopped reading whatever text was in the notebook and closed it, looking directly at the audience. “I know that a lot of you don’t think very well of me. I know that I probably deserve that. Now, it is gonna take a long, long road for me to earn your trust, and live up to my legacy. I don’t have the words to describe what this place means to me. But my grandfather did. So, humbly, if you would join me in listening to the wise words of President Milton, founder of the Commonwealth.”

A recording then started playing but it wasn’t at all what was expected. It wasn’t this President Milton but rather Sebastian’s voice, playing on speakers for everyone to hear as the son of Pamela spoke ill of the community and its people, discrediting the entirety of the Commonwealth’s government. Anna smirked, standing up and leaned on the railing, looking at the gathering in the distance, listening to Sebastian’s crap and looking at the people looking at each other in confusion and disappointment. Pamela was quietly talking to him on the ring, looking angry. Sebastian looked around and yelled at someone in the audience and a woman started running off. On her side, Pamela ordered for the tape to be stopped while people started throwing things at her, not giving a shit about her asking them to remain calm. Anna watched the whole Founder’s day turn into chaos with amusement in her eyes. This was the most distracting thing that happened today and if it was bad for Sebastian’s public image, it wouldn’t be too bad. Though her smile quickly faded when she saw walkers in the square. This would get ugly, but Anna and her children were safe inside their home. She knew Daryl, Carol and the others would take care of the kids, and they knew how to handle themselves anyway. Unlike these Commonwealth people, their group had lived in the wild all throughout this apocalypse. They knew how to survive. People quickly began to fall, blood spurting everywhere. It was such a mess that she couldn't see where her people were anymore. At some point, a crowd formed a circle around Sebastian who was on the ground, struggling against a walker, crying for help but no one would help him. He screamed at the top of his lungs when the undead bit flesh off his neck. Blood flew onto his shirt and out of his mouth until the walker was shot by Judith, but it was too late anyway, Sebastian was choking on his own blood, seizing.

After the riot, Eugene had been blamed for Sebastian's death, but he had quickly disappeared and wasn't anywhere to be seen. Anna knew their group was hiding him. Daryl told everyone in their group that they would leave this place at dawn if they could. It was to be hoped that they would be able to because many of them didn't want to stay there, apart from Ezekiel, from what Anna had heard. The latter had gotten stuck in the Commonwealth after deciding to accept Lance's offer when he visited a still-ruined Alexandria with Eugene. The only good point is that she had had more security for her delivery, but she hadn't felt at home in the six months she had been here. Despite the presence of Carol, Daryl, Judith and a few others, she had known only loneliness in her grief.

[To be continued…]

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Published (01/15/2021) by Andrea

Taglist: @cathrin2405 @kika64

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imaginesfordifferentfandoms · 1 year

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Then and Now, We’ve Got Each Other

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Prompt - ‘Let’s leave this nothing town behind us, we don’t need anything else, we’ve got each other.’

Daryl Dixon wasn’t somebody who enjoyed his life. His dad drank himself stupid every day, beat on their mom until she went and got herself killed. Their dad, when he could stand straight enough, beat on him and Merle so much that both of them had learnt from a young age to hide their marks, at least until they realised that nobody cared.

Merle was the first to drop out of school, nobody fought much to get him back there either. It wasn’t like their dad gave a damn about where they were and the teachers saw the Dixon boys as a troubled pair that would amount to nothing. Merle was always involved in some sketchy business but Daryl learnt not to ask what it was, especially not when it meant Merle sometimes snuck him the occasional sandwich when their dad was passed out.

Daryl had stuck school out for longer than Merle but it didn’t take much longer for him to leave either. He was ready to leave when Merle had but something happened that made his life different, he still didn’t enjoy it, he wasn’t happy but he felt…different.

You had moved states and ended up at a new school. You hadn’t even been there a few days when you’d heard the whispers of the Dixon boys and it hadn’t taken long to realise who they were talking about, the boy in your class with long, dirty hair and even dirtier clothes. You assumed he had a brother who looked equally as dirty and scrawny and felt your heart ache as people gossiped about the pair.

He never spoke to you but he felt less sad when you smiled at him. He knew people spoke about him but he had never cared, nothing these kids said could hurt more than his dad’s fists but still, you made it better.

He lasted a few months before dropping out and you worried the whole week he didn’t show up for school. You weren’t stupid, you had seen the bruises that nobody else seemed to care about, seen the cuts and the way Daryl swiped food so quickly it had taken you a while to notice, you had started bringing extra food in after you had though and leaving it in your place after you left.

You were worried sick that whoever was hurting Daryl had gone too far but there wasn’t anything you could do. You didn’t have a phone number for Daryl, didn’t know where he lived, didn’t know who his big brother was to ask about him.

When the next week rolled around and Daryl still hadn’t been seen you started asking around, ignoring the odd looks people gave you and eventually pieced together enough to figure out where Daryl lived.

After school you walked to where Daryl should live, it was out of the way, run down and had you glancing over your shoulder as you walked down the street trying to find any sign of Daryl. You had only been able to get the street he lived on, not his actual house number, so short of knocking on every house there wasn’t much you could do and sighed to yourself feeling helpless.

The rundown street was surrounded by woods that only made the place seem even more dangerous but just passed it all there was a river and without meaning to you found yourself walking towards it. Twigs and leaves crunched under your feet and you jumped at every sound in the distance but the river was quite nice considering the area and once you were out of the trees it was actually quite peaceful.

You walked for a while before stopping, eyebrows knitting together as you saw a figure in the distance sat alone staring out at the river. You hadn’t ever spoken to him but you’d spent more than enough time looking at him to know it was Daryl and felt a small smile pull at your lips.

At least he was alive.

You made your way over to him, trying to keep your footsteps light even though unbeknownst to you Daryl had heard you long before you had seen him. Daryl had that feeling again, he hated his life, there was nothing good in it but here you were and suddenly it felt different again.

You didn’t say anything when you finally joined him, just sat down on the floor next to him and Daryl couldn’t help but glance at you out of the corner of his eyes. Here you were, clean and neat sitting on the dirty, muddy floor with him.

It made it easier to breathe somehow even as his ribs ached from his dad’s boot.

The two of you sat side by side for a while in peaceful silence, neither one of you knowing what to say and yet it didn’t feel awkward. It was weird to Daryl, he wasn’t used to having somebody with him, not even Merle came out here with him. He was used to being alone, it was better that way and yet for some reason he didn’t hate that you had joined him.

“You didn’t come to school.” You finally said, breaking the silence but keeping your voice soft.

You hadn’t asked a question, there was no reason for Daryl to say anything, he didn’t owe you an answer, didn’t need to explain himself to you but you had come to find him and he had wanted to talk to you for a while.

“Dropped out.” He finally muttered, not looking at you as his voice came out weak and croaky…he wasn’t used to speaking much.

You didn’t know what to say to that and kept looking ahead at the river in front of you. Daryl looked even skinnier than when you had last seen him and this time he had a split lip and black eye that made you wince.

You wished you could do something to help him but you figured Daryl wouldn’t exactly be the type to let you call the police for him. People whispered about the Dixon family, they knew full well what was going on, if somebody was going to step in they would have long before you showed up in town.

So maybe you couldn’t get Daryl away from his house, maybe you couldn’t stop whoever was hurting him but you could do something. You could be a friend to him, give him somebody to talk to who wouldn’t judge him and use it to gossip, you could be there for him and bring him food and make sure he had somebody on his side.

“I brought this for you.” You said, turning to root through your school bag and pulled out a sandwich, a chocolate bar, and an apple as well as a bottle of soda.

You held the items out for Daryl who finally looked at you properly, he hid it well but you could see the shock on his face, the surprise that somebody was helping him.

“Don’t need y’to feed me.” He muttered, turning back to face the river and you bit back a sigh.

“I know you don’t.” You told him honestly because to get as far as Daryl had in his house he had probably had to fend for himself, he would see any small act as charity. Sure he had been fine swiping the half a piece of sandwich you left at lunch or the candy you left behind but he would struggle to accept something being outright given to him. “It’s for you though, you don’t have to eat it but it’s there.”

You left the food on the floor in between you and went back to sitting in silence. It was less than ten minutes later when Daryl’s hunger won out and you heard the wrapped being pulled from the sandwich and you had to bite back a relieved smile, watching as Daryl practically inhaled the food, glad to know he had something in him for the day.

It went on like that for months, every day after school you would walk down to the river, though walking through the woods still sent a shiver down your spine, especially when the winter meant that it got dark earlier. Each day you and Daryl would sit together, you always brought food for the two of you and mostly the silence would be filled by you. Daryl liked listening to you talk, it didn’t matter what you were saying he just liked listening. He spoke too, not much but whenever he did you always gave him your full attention, listening to every word he said like it was important.

He always walked you home, by the time you were standing to leave it was well into the night, sky dark and Daryl didn’t feel right letting you walk alone. So he led you through the woods and watched as you glanced around like something was going to jump out at you, it never did but even if something were to happen Daryl wouldn’t let anything hurt you.

By the time he had walked across town to your street, and the first time he had seen where you lived he flushed with embarrassment at the big house in the nice part of town, and walked back to his house his dad was usually passed out and Merle was either nursing his wounds with a beer or out doing whatever he got up to.

Daryl’s life still wasn’t good, it wasn’t enjoyable but the few hours a day he got to steal with you made it easier, it made him see that maybe there could be good in it, maybe he was allowed to feel happy.

When he started working on his bike, months into knowing you, he had to smile when you first saw it. You had looked at him like he was crazy and he probably looked it, split lip that kept bleeding when you made him smile, one eye swollen shut and all kinds of black and purple as he sat surrounded by a rundown bike and even more run down parts and tools.

“There’s no way you’re riding that if you ever build it.” You had told him as you sat down next to him and he felt his lip sting again as he smiled over at you.

“Course I am,” he told you confidently and chuckled as you shook your head, “you’re comin’ on it too.”

“Like hell I am!” You protested, pulling a face at the mess of a bike that lay on the floor in the middle of you.

“Sure ya are, not like I’m gonna let anything bad happen to ya.” Daryl said as he swiped at his lip with his tongue before screwing something into the bike, so focused on what he was doing that he missed the way your face softened into a smile as you could do nothing but stare at him for a second. “‘Sides this bike’ll be the best once I get it runnin’.”

“You’re crazy if you think I’m getting on that death trap, even crazier if you think I’m letting you on it.” Daryl just grinned at you again as he put the spanner down and wiped his forehead with his arm. “How long have you been working on this thing anyway?”

“Couple hours? I dunno.” Daryl shrugged and you gave him a look that made his smile grow.

He still wasn’t used to that, it had been nearly a year since you had decided to join him out by the river and he still wasn’t used to smiling so damn much.

“Take a break, Dixon, time to eat.” You told him and he nodded at you as he moved around the bike to sit next to you, reaching over to wash his grease covered hands in the river as you pulled food and drinks out of your bag.

“Why the bike anyway?” You asked as the two of you were eating and Daryl shrugged before finishing his bite.

“Gotta have a way to get outta here someday.” He told you and the answer didn’t shock you, you knew Daryl wanted out of this town, wanted plenty of distance from his dad.

You couldn’t blame him, you were surprised he had stuck around this long but you supposed it wasn’t like he had the money to just up and leave. Part of you wanted to leave with him when he finally put this town behind him, just because your family lived in the nice part of town, just because you had money and food, didn’t mean that your parents were great people. Of course you didn’t have it as bad as Daryl, your parents didn’t hit you, didn’t starve you and let you go however long without a shower or didn’t give you a warm place to sleep. Your parents were just cold people, the kind that weren’t really meant to be parents but it was what was expected of them and you were expected to follow in their footsteps.

“Getting ready to leave me behind?” You asked jokingly but both of you could hear the sadness behind it and Daryl shook his head fiercely.

“Like hell imma leave you in this dump, ya coming with me.” Daryl told you and you couldn’t help but smile over at him, Daryl smiling right back at you and it was then you realised that you had already made your decision without thinking about it because you would follow Daryl Dixon wherever he went.

“Not on that thing.” You laughed and just like that the serious moment was gone and Daryl’s smile widened even as he rolled his eyes.

“Just wait, it’s gonna be great.” He assured you just to hear you laugh again.

It was anything but great. The thing roared to life and spluttered causing Daryl to groan and kick it before the engine ran properly and you gave him an incredulous look when he turned to face you.

“It’s gonna be great.” He told you again, repeating the words he had told you months ago.

“It’s a death trap!” You exclaimed, causing him to laugh and pick a helmet up off the floor before making his way over to you.

“I tested it before you even saw it ‘cause I knew you’d bitch about me gettin’ on the thing.” Daryl told you and you glared at him as he stopped in front of you. “Trust me, it’s good.”

With that he lifted the helmet and settled it over your head, smiling at the glare still on your face. He made sure the helmet was properly on you before he climbed onto the bike and held a hand out to help you on.

“Daryl-” You began but he cut you off.

“Trust me, you really think I’d let ya on here if I didn’t think ya were gonna be safe?” He had a point, Daryl might have had no regard for his own safety but when it came to you…God was he protective.

Daryl grinned when you sighed, knowing he had won and felt your hand in his as you got onto the bike, slotting behind him perfectly. His smile softened as he chuckled in amusement when your arms went around his waist, holding him in a death grip before the bike had even moved.

“Relax.” He told you over the noise of the engine and you just shook your head before he felt the helmet rest against the back of his shoulder. He didn’t need to look at you to know your eyes were screwed shut and he laughed again as he began to move the bike and your arms tightened even more around him.

“I hate this!” He heard you call over the sound of the bike speeding through the road and he smiled widely, one hand coming off the handle to squeeze your arm before he put it back, he was serious when he said he wasn’t going to let anything happen to you.

Daryl had known you for long enough now that he struggled to remember his life without you by his side, he remembered a time where he struggled to think of one good thing in his life, struggled to remember what being happy was like, if he had even felt it before.

He knew he had never known true happiness before you arrived, before you broke past every wall he put up and made sure you were a part of his life despite the rumours and how it would have been better for you to stay away from the Dixon boy.

Now, in this moment, the bike carrying you two away from his street, your arms around his waist as you tucked yourself against his shoulder, he knew this was true happiness. You were his happiness and he would do everything he could to make sure you were happy too.

He had been ready for this moment for years, ready to leave everything behind and get away from this town. He had nothing left here, Merle had packed up and left years ago and his dad would soon be nothing but a distant memory.

He would have left so long ago but he refused to leave without you and even though you had been ready to leave with him he wanted to make sure you at least graduated first, you were smart, smarter than him and had a chance of a future doing whatever you wanted. He wouldn’t let you throw that away. If you wanted to come with him that was great, hell Daryl wanted nothing else, but if something happened one day and you wanted to leave then he was going to make sure you had a backup plan.

Daryl had the bike, he’d been working on it for ages now and it was a proper functioning bike. You had insisted on helping build it up, you were getting out of town on it and you’d be damned if it fell to pieces on you. Daryl had scoffed and told you it’d be fine only for you to show up the next day with all kinds of new, shiny pieces, you had no idea what they did but Daryl had been able to upgrade the bike even as he glared at you.

Daryl waited outside the school on his bike, the two of you had no real destination in mind but you were finally ready to leave. He watched you come out of the building and scan the area before your eyes landed on him and your whole face lit up as you ran over to him, Daryl’s hand already out for you to slide yours into as you climbed on the bike.

“Ready t’get the hell outta here?” Daryl asked as he passed the helmet back, ignoring the way you pushed his shoulder because he refused to wear one with a smile on his face.

“More than ready.” You told him as you secured the helmet on your head and wrapped your arms around him, thumb brushing up and down on his stomach as you rested your hands against him.

Things like this had been happening more too, touches between the two of you. You were usually the one to instigate them unless Daryl was feeling brave but they were there and Daryl was hyper aware of them all.

He knew he liked you, he’d be an idiot if he didn’t. Some part of him figured you liked him too, God he sounded like an idiot with all this does she like me does she not crap, but he was never quite brave enough to ask, to make a move. Instead he told himself the lingering touches were enough.

For years the lingering touches were enough, they had to be because whilst the two of you were brave enough to leave your town behind neither of you were brave enough to make the first move. For years you and Daryl had been at each other's side, travelling the country on Daryl’s homemade bike that had broken down plenty and despite all your protests to use the money you’d both earned doing odd jobs to buy a new bike Daryl refused to budge.

You don’t know what was different about tonight. Maybe it was because you’d made your way out to the west coast, the air cool as the sun had long since set and the moon cast a soft glow over the water in front of you and Daryl.

Maybe it was because it reminded you of a time many years ago when you had first realised you had like Daryl. It wasn’t much different than this night except instead of the massive stretch of ocean it was a river and where there had been nothing but twigs and dirt here there was warm sand.

Back then Daryl had been covered head to toe in bruises whereas now his skin was clear with the exception of a few scars that would never heal, scars that still ached him to this day.

Maybe it was just the kind of night where you reminisce and feel a sense of longing for a future that could be, a sense of regret for all the lost moments because neither one of you were brave enough to just tell the other how you felt. It was the kind of night where you realised that one day things could change before you knew it and you’d kick yourself for wasting the opportunity to tell Daryl how important he was to you, hate yourself for letting so much time pass where he didn’t know that.

Or maybe it was just the kind of night where you’d had too much to drink.

Either way you were ready, you were ready to say those words to him and you weren’t scared, you had never been scared in the whole time you had known Daryl. You were always safe when you were with him.

“You’re my best friend,” You found yourself saying, they weren’t the words you wanted to say, they weren’t the only words you would say tonight, but they felt like the right ones to start this conversation.

“You’re my best friend too, Y/N/N.” Daryl murmured, turning his head slightly to press his lips to your hair and you were both content to fall back into a peaceful silence, your head on Daryl’s shoulder as you stared at the water.

“Thank you,” You said after a long stretch of quiet and you lifted your head to see Daryl looking at you questioningly. “I never thanked you for getting me, for getting us out of that town. I’m glad we did it together.”

“Don’t gotta thank me for that.” Daryl told you and he smiled at you, this smile was maybe your most favourite one. Daryl didn’t smile for most people but for you he had a whole variety of smiles, this one though, the shy, almost flustered smile was your favourite. “But I’m real glad we left together too, can’t imagine doin’ this without you.”

“And you’ll never have to. You’re stuck with me, Daryl Dixon.” You grinned at him and his smile turned softer as he lifted his hand to your cheek and brushed his thumb along your cheekbone.

“Ain’t no one else in the damn world I’d rather have.” He told you and the two of you just smiled stupidly at each other for a long moment before you were both moving closer at the same time.

Daryl’s lips were slightly chapped as they brushed against yours, your eyes falling shut at the first touch. Neither of you had much experience and the kiss was slow and a little uncoordinated but felt like everything you had been waiting all those years for. It was every cliche in the book finally getting to kiss Daryl and you practically melted against him as you kissed until the need for air was too much and even then Daryl chased after your lips and placed small kisses against yours as you both tried to catch your breath.

“Waited so long to do that.” Daryl murmured against your lips, leaning forward to place a soft kiss against your lips again.

“Me too.” You breathed out, eyes finally opening as you leaned your forehead against Daryl’s and the two of you looked at each other with flushed faces and smiles pulling at your lips.

You had just met up with Merle back in Georgia when things had gone south. At first it didn’t seem like a big deal, just find some shelter, and stay inside for a few days which then turned into cities being bombed and communications being shut off and the dead roaming the streets.

If you had thought you were attached to Daryl’s side before this then it was nothing compared to now, you were practically his shadow, his hand always gripped in yours unless he needed to use his crossbow which made you wince each time.

Daryl knew you were scared, hell he was freaked out too though he had to do a damn good job of hiding it to make sure you didn’t panic more than you were. It had been easy at the start, he had told you it was just a virus or something, that it’d be fixed in weeks and the two of you would be back on the bike in no time.

Instead you’d somehow ended up with a group, being told that the cities were dangerous and bombs had been dropped. The first night in the camp you had cried for the first time in years and Daryl felt helpless, this wasn't something he could fix but he could damn well protect you, in all the years you’d known Daryl one of the things you had always told him was that he made you feel safe and that wasn’t about to change now.

So he did what he could to keep you safe. This time it was his job to make sure you were fed, when supplies ran low he gave you his share of food and water, you didn’t know of course, God he could already hear the argument if you were to find out. Any time there was danger, whether it be the walkers or fighting in the group, Daryl was always quick to put himself between you and it, much to the amusement of Merle but Daryl didn’t give a damn about whatever his brother had to say so long as you were safe. He kept you close to him, you were never out of his eyeshot, when night came he spent it waking up every few hours to make sure you were still safe and tucked against his chest.

Daryl didn’t know what the hell was going to happen, the world had fallen apart in front of them with no sign that it was going to fix itself. Daryl wasn’t holding out much hope of a cure like the rest of the group were, he could tell you wanted to believe in it but didn’t want to get your hopes up. He hated seeing the realisation on your face when you figured this was it for the world now but then he watched you look at him and some of the despair faded.

The world might have gone to shit but you and Daryl still had each other. Families had been separated but you and Daryl had been lucky to still have the other, something you would never take for granted. You didn’t know how you were meant to survive this, especially not when months later you’d all found out there really was no cure. You were still that scared kid from all those years back who jumped at every noise heard in the woods leading to the river but then, just like now, you had Daryl.

Daryl had one job, he promised himself it years before the world fell to pieces, and that was to keep you safe. It was a promise that was more important now than ever before. He trained you to track, something he had tried to do throughout the years but you always laughed it off, this time you listened to what he had to say because you knew it really was the difference between life and death. He taught you how to use a gun and he hated seeing you with it but he knew it had to be done just in case something happened to him and he couldn’t get to you.

Daryl had one job and that was to keep you safe and he would damn well make good on that promise and get you to whatever hope there was in a future after all of this, and there had to be something for you at the end of this, he’d make sure of that too.

__________

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