#the theme song drives me nuts (in a good way) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bluebudgie · 8 months

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So I have this long-standing tradition where, after I finish a video game, I sit down and listen to the soundtrack outside of the game's context.

It serves as a sort of "conclusion" to the experience and simultaneously helps me evaluate the game as a whole a little better... After all the soundtrack is often what sticks with us long after we're done actively playing a game. It preserves the memories we've made along the way.

That means: I have finally found the FF Sixteen OST online in its entirety and could finally follow through with this tradition. (Debatable how much it applies considering I didn't actually play the game myself, but it felt necessary.)

The final missing piece to the pissbaby gamer rage essay. Significantly less raging this time, though.

It's okay. I don't love it. There's worse.

I had very unfavourable opinions of the OST during the game itself which might have been due to the overall pacing issues, where large stretches were filled with the same hub music and then everything bombastic all happened at once and either side of the coin was exhausting in its own way.

I still can't believe there are over 200 songs in the OST when I could have sworn I heard like. Maybe 10 or so during gameplay. A lot of it is very same-y. A large part of the OST can be split into "loud choir explosion" or "sad piano". There isn't a whole lot in between. Good for people who like it, not so much for me.

Which means my biggest issue is the very subjective "I just don't like the style". It's not a bad soundtrack, but I'm just really not a fan of the direction the music took. The battle themes are over the top (fair for the equally over the top DBZ kaijū battles, annoying with 3 wolves that show up on the side of the road). The calmer songs don't really hit right for me. No chord progressions or melodies that hook me. Unfortunate. I did however appreciate the electronic influences in the music when the alien baddies were on screen. (in this fantasy game that is based on medieval reality and that's why people of colour cant exi-)

I have also since learned that there isn't one acoustic guitar song that plays for 20 hours straight. There are like 6 or so that all sound the same. I don't know if that makes it better or worse. I hate them all. (I don't hate acoustic guitars. It's these songs in particular.)

That said - I was curious about which ones are people's favourite tracks of the OST and went checking those out in particular. Consistently in people's tops was Ascension and I can't deny that one's been plagueing (semi-endearing) my memory a bunch the past days. Probably the theme that stuck out the most to me while watching the game. If not the entire theme, then at the very least That Violin Part. If you know, you know.

You know what. If you don't know, here:

(footage stolen from here)

Like damn. Good rhythm going on there with the off beats. Also fits the relevant character nicely in terms of mood. And I like that the battle phase before this one has a more low-key version of this song playing before it goes into this full ham version.

I just kinda wish more of the battle music had been a bit more... this. A bit more... subtle. Like yes it slaps hard but this song legitimately feels calm in comparison to the other battle tracks. This drives me nuts.

There's one other song I keep getting stuck in my head which is one that plays fairly close to the end (in the final... "dungeon" (cutscene? sequence? QTE battle?)). I figured out today that I don't actually really enjoy listening to the song on its own but I like it in-game in combination with the voice perfomance. There's an interesting dissonance in it that blends super nicely with the voice acting. (I'm being held hostage by the game's voice acting. It's unfortunately way too good. Voice actors are once again holding too much power over me.)

Other than that... I have one final criticism. The prelude theme. We must. Leave it. Alone. Enough. It's fine playing once as a gimmick somewhere in the game (I do genuinely like the menu (pause screen?) arrangement) but having it woven into what seems like every 5th song feels like someone is smacking a sign into your face that screams "YOU ARE PLAYING A FINAL FANTASY GAME." Seriously it's unbearable. (Also I did take notice of the FF1 overworld theme being rearranged into a battle theme for the final segment of the game. I don't know why, but fine. Not complaining about that one.)

Overall it's a solid "mh" from me. Not the worst OST we've had in the series (thirteen trilogy exis-COUGHAGFNJKN) but definitely on the lower end for me. Not of bad quality, but not my cup of tea at all. Dark Souls III OST executed the epic orchestra choirs better somehow. More interesting composition. Spaced out better throughout the game. Idk.

Welp. Back to getting haunted by voices and violins now o/

#at some point i will have made 122 posts about this game and every single one will be about the exact same battle sequence #like a horse wearing a blinker

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straykats · 11 months

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kat talks: 5-star

tldr; it did not take long at all for this comeback to grow on me i love it so much. i find that with most new songs my first listen is always very apathetic and/or ??? LOL and there exists only a small handful of songs that i immediately was like oH MY GOD (this is across all artists i listen to) but yeah i always forget that when listening to new music and i think this comeback is the first time i fully acknowledged that my first listen is rarely (and doesnt need to be) instant likesies. theres a lot of small bits throughout the album that remind me of other songs (not a bad thing, just smth i noticed i kept noticing?). topline, dlc, the sound and time out were/are my favs hehe (update: relistening to the album again and collision and fnf are creeping up to my favs too help)

hall of fame

okay im pretty sure i've heard this in my brief listen before but i also dont remember it at all

i cant describe it but that alien-sounding melody actually has me seeing like a weird alien brainwashing thing

WHOS FUCKING-- WAS THAT JEONGIN??? AT 1:24???? that was so pretty i want that framed

during hyunjins bit i got weird b me flashbacks??? i dont think it sounds similar but my mind immediately went 'b me !!'

jesus felix

the moon landing audio is such a cool inclusion,,, 5 star,,, hall of fame,,, a star/celestial body themed comeback,,,,

s-class

okay wbk i was so confused the first time round but its grown sm on me

i LOVE the power of the opening

the cartoon boing/spring sound and (its not but) the tom and jerry running sound hehe

this song definitely sounds.. grand? and wide? and a good title track

"[im] up above the world so high" nice nice twinkle twinkle reference hehe

i absolutely love jeongin's bit in the bridge and i love the choreo of it too

item

i love the game sounds they use in this hehe

seungmin's prechorus reminds me of smth but i cant place what it is

felixs ... tone? like? the voice he uses???

hyunjin/changbin bit in the bridge >>>>> i cant explain it but it sounds so good

super bowl

the instrumental at the beginning took me by surprise.. i also am sitting ehre trying to identity the?? The Sound. digital/synth. like the almost cowbell almost snare one. ive replayed it so many times.

i thought this when i first heard it (while doing the dishes lol) but is this song all in english?

whats that sound between 'have a bite' and 'make it mine'

screams TFDGVJABVAD the whisper im sorry i cant do it HAHAHAHAHA

topline

to be mad honest i was SO excited for this based on just the teaser

'we skedaddle intoxicated razzle dazzle' best line fr

okay ik i didnt say much for this one but its one of my favs

underground rebellious kinda vibes i love it (i described that wrong but i have a very specific img in my head)

dlc

im trying to play this on the pino and its driving my nuts but in a good way

the 'amudo moreuge' line throughout the entire song is so [deep breaths] like i cant explain it but it BUT AHHHHHH (fun fact for any pokemon people LOL the song oracion has the same kinda thing in it. idk what to call it.)

oh i LOVE love the piano during the second verse AHHHHHHHHH not gonna be able to replicate it but thats okay

the song/chorus has a.. an urban tropical feel? like it's ALMOST something you would hear with a tropical background but smth about the key, maybe, plavces it instead in an urban setting at night (bc lyrics) and seems kinda bittersweet

THATS WHAT THE AMUDO MOREUGE LINE DOES it adds such a sad kinda tired/resigned feel to the song which is like. on one hand the lyrics are so 'lets dance like crazy without a care in the world' but on the other hand the song feels so lonely and kind of. 'don't worry about me, i'll manage my sadness alone'??? like, 'let's have fun together but i'm really sad even though i'm smiling' kinda thing ARGHHHHH

get lit

seungmin's line rmeinds me of smth ARGHH its another skz song i know that for sure but i cant remember which one (ngl a lot of the songs in this album have parts that remind me of another kpop song,,, one of the above reminded me of nct but icr which song)

oh wait i think its my pace @ seungmins line

the instrumental would be so cool for mashups etc

wait one of the lines is 'today im so cocky' which is interesting bc theres a previous line (sueprbowl?) thats about not being cocky or smth HMMM i would revisit but tbh i cbb rn rip

collision

tRUMPETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT... i think

trumpets reminded me of maknae on top and this song also suits jeongin's voice sm i love it here

oh??? the ringing at the end???

fnf

this REMINDS ME OF SMTH TOO an dits not kpop

but i do really like it

'ashes up in the sky' ,,,, thinkingthinkingthinking

this feels like the opposite of time out and idk how to explain it

lix singing !!!!!! i love it sm

WAIT THSI ONE ACTUALLY REMINDS ME OF B ME wait no or is it levanter

the flaura and fauna line also reminds me of venom

both of the above points refer to the melody ,, seungmin's venom prechorus "cant escape-" and then it jumps The Other Song which i cant figure out what it is AHH

was that an eagle did i just hear an eagle

the minho/chan ending is so <3 <3 <3

youtiful

the muted piano i [crying] also almost gives me knnw vibes

'must be an oracle' ????? trying to understand this. like. it must be predicting smth,, but what,,, 'look at the stars fall / they leave the sky, goodbye' which part of this is the oracle i-- ad oracle as in like a person or a message but either way

if anyone covers this song please use a xylophone or marimba hehe would be so <3

oh i can see this second verse being animated so beautifully

why did changbin singing at the end make me so incredibly soft

the sound

okay this song has been out for ages but i think the only thing i said about it was smth about the bass and also how it sounds like a 'final stand' kinda song

okay ngl i liked the jpn lyrics better for the chorus oopsies im sorry

the piano sounds so RAW like the ringing of it the way the key falls and the mallet hits the string like you can HEAR it like thats exactly how it sounds when you play that high on a piano and also like. imo i notice the sound more on older pianos and just bc of that personal association (???) this song gets a bit sadder

adding to the 'final stand' feel is the police sirens in the chorus

time out

i just love this song sm man like idk what to say at this point

OH IT REMINDS ME OF A DEEMO SONG AHHAHA WAIT LEMME FIND IT // this song omg i've never thought about it before but listening to time out just then, i literally went 'you ready?' and then i was like WAIT THATS A DIFFERENT SONG

this song would be such a fun end-of-concert/encore song woah

yeah no i really dont have much to say i just love this song sm

#kat talks 5-star #the time out/mili/deemo connectoin is gonna make me laugh everytime i listen to either song now #hm i feel like i didnt do much commenting on overall songs/the overall album sorry lol

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builder051 · 2 years

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🐥☕🌳 for the asking game?

🐓 Chicken: What is a comfort movie/show for you?

(Unfortunately my list has only the big chicken? I hope the baby chick has good body image and future aspirations.)

I have a couple options dedicated to different scenarios.

#1 for “something is not right” I don’t care what, paper cut to migraine to mental health to just want a nap… is Black Panther.

#1 for Laur is practicing the right of being an adult and making “bad choices,” all in the name of self-medication and good sport is Bohemian Rhapsody.

(NOTES: If one is of age, it is 100% ok, in my opinion, to purchase and responsibly use legal/OTC recreational substances, so long as they do not contain other active/inactive ingredients that will harm you in large doses. One of the easiest pure options recently became available on Amazon. Always calculate your weight dose. tripsit.com is a fantastic resource. Be ready for a flop/hangover day. Bohemian Rhapsody was a best picture nom. Rami Malek won for best actor. There are maybe ~3 edit flubs in the movie that I recognize as flubs, and they drive me nuts. But no hate. It’s an incredible movie. IDK why it has so many haters. )

If I’m really going for a ‘blast from the past.’ I’ll throw on a DVD from the Sherlock (BBC) set. I was sooo into it as it came out (my high school into college), and I got the DVDs and watched them as background noise obsessively. When I hear the theme song nowadays, I’m a little, like, a what now? Tardis? Flashing lights? What year is it? (I’ve seen 2ish seasons of Dr. Who, which I remember none of, because it was just on when I was writing my undergrad thesis.) My fave episode is Hound of the Baskervilles, because Sherlock has that moment of fear/ confusion that he can only express as anger… it’s a great scene.

☕ Tea: How do you take your tea?

However it’s meant to be taken at the venue, generally, though I have some severe allergies (dairy, soy, oats) that prevent some ways of doing it.

Tea party tea should have sugar and a little spoon. Starbucks tea is, like, neon pink and iced. Grandparents’ house tea is southern sweet tea. Tea at Chili’s is Lipton. The tea that comes in the tall tins from Republic of Tea is best if it either has a Star Wars character on it, or someone from Downtown Abbey. Those we drink plain. And I have a pre/probiotic tea that we add vitamins to that I have for breakfast most days, and that’s tasty, too.

🌳 Tree: What is one thing in your future you are looking foward towards?

The continuation of Laur and DD rock n roll tour 2022: we’re seeing Greta Van Fleet next month.

They were our first ‘big’ concert (headliner at a festival), and now they’re headlining an arena, and just to see the growth and continuing to love the music… it’s great.

#starbucks sunday #ask game #ask meme

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glimmerbugart · 3 months

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What’s Your Word?

Over the years, I’ve tried to come up with a “word of the year” to keep me moving forward in a New Year. Each year it’s been a different word. Some past words that I’ve used are:

Hope

Focus

Organize

Positive

Love

And a few more that if I really think back, they’ll come to me. These words have helped me grasp a “theme” that I want to continue during the 12 months of the year.

My word for 2024 is:

I’d like to spend more time this year “sharing” with others. And I’m really going to focus on sharing my art with others, through happy mail, random acts of kindness, mail art, leave behind pieces and cards. I think it’s a good way to bring positivity to my surroundings and people in my life, as well as those who I have never met.

It used to drive my father nuts when I would make things for people for special occasions, like birthdays, anniversaries or just to be nice. I loved sewing cross stitch patterns, making quilts, drawings and handmade pieces of art in my 20s and would spend hours creating special gifts. Most of these handmade gifts were for close friends and family and since I was in college and my early 20s, I didn’t have a endless amount of cash to blow on gifts for people.

He used to get so irritated because he’d tell me that I should just make things for myself because the people that I was making gifts for and spending all this time on really wouldn’t appreciate the effort and love that was put into something handmade. Yet, I trudged on, continuing to make things for others since that was really all I could afford after paying for college and working as many hours as I could get at my jobs.

And that started to ring true after a while. I started to realize that the handmade pieces that I would spend hours and hours working on, were often just cast aside and that made me feel really unappreciated and shitty. In fact, I can remember back when I worked at JoAnn Fabrics in my early college days, making about $8 an hour. My brother and his girlfriend had just gotten a little black Lab puppy, that I adored and couldn’t get enough of. On one of the delivery trucks, a new supply of fabrics arrived and, wouldn’t you know it, there was a few bolts of cotton fabric that had black Lab puppies on it! So I used a good portion of my paycheck the following week to purchase the fabric to make a “quillow,” which was all the rage back in the 90s. It was a quilt, that folded up into a pillow so you could use it for either purpose. And nice Sandy the fabric lady would stay late at work after we’d close to show me how to make my projects and help me with questions. It took me weeks to work on it! But I was sooo excited to give it to my brother and his chick for Christmas.

Fast forward to after Christmas, after I had painstakingly spent hours and a good amount of money on this project. I’m over at his house and I go to bring the trash outside, and what’s in the trash bin? My beloved “quillow.” Thrown away, like it was a piece of shit. All rumpled up and stuffed into the trash can. I was heartbroken. Sad. Angry.

And that’s when things started to shift for me… slowly. After several other creative projects that I handmade for said brother and now what was his second wife, all ended much with the same demise: The cross stitch that I made with his wedding song and had framed had a photo swapped out, to keep using the frame but the hell with the lyrical cross stitch (which, by the way, was done old school with a recording from the radio and me stopping, starting and pausing as I had to write down the lyrics to that shitty Bryan Adams song). And let’s also not forget the times that I’d be asked to hand make their kids Halloween costumes, fly them down to them in Alabama, only to have the kids decide they changed their minds and didn’t want to wear the costumes that I spent hours and hours on. Yeah, I got burnt out from being shit on by them.

Now that my parents are both gone and I’ve pulled the plug on the sibling relationship (which was the BEST decision I’ve ever made), I’ve gotten back into making things for people that I love and care about, and am pleased to say they appreciate. It’s nice seeing and hearing appreciative comments from the recipients, and makes me realize that I was simply focusing my maker energy on the wrong goddamn people!

So now, with it being a new year, my word is SHARE. And I am excited to start sharing more of my art with those around me!

What’s your word for 2024?

#2024 word of the year #Art projects #art studio littleton ma #Glimmerbug Handmade Art #art studio harvard ma

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mywifeleftme · 11 months

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64: Parliament // Funkentelechy vs. The Placebo Syndrome

Funkentelechy vs. The Placebo Syndrome Parliament 1977, Casablanca Despite this series being predicated on the concept of reviewing selections from my physical record collection, to date it hasn’t focused much on the LPs as objects. There are a few reasons for this:

I don’t know anything about vinyl production, and my ears aren’t good enough to tell the difference between a vinyl pressing and a high-quality digital file anyway, let alone between one pressing and another. (And neither are yours.)

My audience trusts me to write about things about which I am an expert, like botching drug trips and being vague about African dance music.

I obviously have a case of collector brain, but I don’t care about coloured vinyl or gimmicky reissue sleeves.

With that said, it’s undeniably true that the experience of music is mediated by the medium through which it is consumed—and that medium's perceived quality. As is pretty common for people my age (41), there are songs I first heard in my teens and twenties that still sound wrong to me without the specific audio glitches I remember from the versions I downloaded from Limewire/Blogspot.

youtube

My copy of Parliament’s Funkentelechy vs. The Placebo Syndrome is a 2000s era pressing that I picked up on the strength of my love for “Flash Light,” a song that proves beyond doubt that whites were not the first men on the Moon. I listened to Funkentelechy a few times when I bought it eight or nine years ago, and every now and again it makes its way back to my table, but I never got super into it despite it offering exactly what you’d hope for from a George Clinton LP (rubbery bass lines, endless grooves, extremely fly gibberish, Bernie Worrell).

When I decided the other day that I was going to review the record, I was curious about which pressing I have, so I rolled over to Discogs. On the release page I found a handful of extremely Discogs-guy comments about this particular edition:

My immediate thought was something like, “It has always kind of bothered me that the LP cut off the acapella conclusion to ‘Flash Light!’” followed by, “By Jove, maybe the reason I’ve never loved this record is because of the mealy low-end!” And, indeed, despite turning the bass knob on my receiver all the way to the right, the bass doesn’t feel nearly as thick as you’d think a P-Funk album should. So, having found an angle for this review, I bashed out the first few paragraphs before the thought occurred that I’m making these assertions about this pressing without actually comparing it to other sources. Gadzooks.

You know what I did next reader? If your answer was, “Dug out the aux cable and played the streaming version through the same speaker rig,” well, I didn’t do that, because all the piss jars in my bedroom closet have taught me the dangers of obsessive-compulsive behaviour. (And, also, because I thought I might drive the other person in my apartment nuts by playing the record yet again, and still alsomore because I have other shit to do today.) Instead, I skimmed the streaming version a bit on my headphones, had the sense it sounded a bit fuller but not so much so that it would’ve transformed Funkentelechy into a top-tier fav, and called it a day. (I really am peeved about it cutting off the end of “Flash Light” though.)

youtube

Right, so anyway, a review. “Bop Gun (Endangered Species)” is standard P-Funk fare; “Sir Nose D Voidoffunk” ambles around for ten minutes like an extremely melted version of a Meat Loaf song, eventually finding a nonsensical peanut-butter-sticky “Three Blind Mice” interpolation that brings the house down; “Wizard of Finance” kind of sounds like Chicago; “Funkentelechy” is another fine mood board of Clintonisms (“Funk is not domestically produced”; “The bigger the headache, the bigger the pill”; “Unfunky possibilities arrive for the makers of Urge Overkill”); “Placebo Syndrome” reminds me strongly of the ending cutscene theme from I think Sonic 2 (?), which is to say I think it’s quite pretty; “Flash Light” we have covered. Alright! This review is over.

64/365

#music review #vinyl record #parliament #george clinton #p-funk #funk #'70s music

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jace-hero · 1 year

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Looking Back on 2022

1:What did you do in 2022 that you’d never done before? I started working at a theater in Hollywood, that's pretty fun. I bought a new car for the first time. Saw a Broadway quality show in a real big theater. I'm sure I did more that I can't remember right now.

2:Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don't believe I did, and I don't think I will this year either. I never keep them.

3:Did anyone close to you give birth? My brother! I'm an uncle for the first time!

4:Did anyone close to you die? My dog, Sadie. Still makes me sad :(

5:What countries did you visit? Ain't nobody got the time or the money.

6:What would you like to have in 2023 that you lacked in 2022? TIME AND MONEY.

7:What dates from 2022 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? May 12th. Was a fun day driving my new car around LA.

8:What was your biggest achievement of the year? Buying my car and not having a mental breakdown.

9:What was your biggest failure? Not putting myself first and being able to build for my future.

10:Did you suffer illness or injury? Covid for a 2nd time. Wasn't as bad this time, just annoying.

11:What was the best thing you bought? Broken record, but my car.

12:Whose behavior merited celebration? Idk, mine? Good for me.

13:Whose behavior made you appalled? Putin, Amber Heard, and my bosses.

14:Where did most of your money go? Surviving. Food, rent, car, bills.

15:What did you get really, really, really excited about? Quitting my job. I didn't quit though.

16:What song will always remind you of 2022? That awful "Unholy" song.

17:Compared to this time last year, are you: (a) happier or sadder? (b) thinner or fatter? ( c) richer or poorer? Happier? Fatter. Poorer.

18:What do you wish you’d done more of? Travelled. I want to travel so bad.

19:What do you wish you’d done less of? Eat and work. It's all I seem to do.

20:How did you spend Christmas? With my besties watching movies.

21:Did you fall in love in 2022? Nah.

22:What was your favorite TV program? So many good ones. House of the Dragon, Stranger Things, Peacemaker, Wednesday, and Search Party.

23:Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? Elon Musk?

24:What was the best book you read? Didn't read anything this year. I should remove this question next year lol.

25:What was your greatest musical discovery? Purity Ring.

26:What did you want and get? My car.

27:What did you want and not get? To travel. WrestleMania tickets. Disneyland tickets. A PS5.

28:What was your favorite film of this year? The Batman. Hands down. Absolutely amazing. Matt Reeves got it so right. A perfect Batman film. Shout out to Bullet Train and Halloween Ends.

29:What one thing made your year immeasurably more satisfying? My car. Theme of the year tbh.

30:How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2022? Scrubs and whatever wasn't dirty on my days off. Also my one single Armani shirt for when I needed to be fancy.

31:What kept you sane? My friends. As much as they also drove me absolutely nuts.

32:Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Always Justin, but Shawn Mendes and Ross Lynch were lookin mighty fine this year.

33:What political issue stirred you the most? I don't know man, I'm exhausted. All of them. I'm so sick of politics.

34:Who did you miss? My grandma, my friends, my dogs.

35:Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2022: Value yourself. Prioritize yourself. No one else is going to put you first. YOU put you first.

36:Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. "Here in my car, I feel safest of all, I can lock all my doors, it's the only way to live.. in cars." - Gary Numan (Cars)

#2022 #last year #year in review #happy new year

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chelleztjs18 · 1 year

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Hello you mrs. lady robin hood honey nut cheerio lefty eyebag 😅

Oh no! Delays suck. But it's good that you guys got to CA safely. That's a long drive from the airport to their house..

I am freezing my butt over here. It is snowing and the temperature is down to 10 degrees. Do you wanna trade? I can go enjoy the heat in CA while you play in the snow here. Hahaha 🤣 so all the clothes you brought are thick layers? Hopefully it does get cold but I doubt it because all the cold temperatures are heading my way haha

Hm so you like stories that have a dark theme to it?

So I listened to some songs of Glass Animals. I love his voice. It gives me a soft bar vibe hahaha I think my favorite so far is Your Love. And I didn't know they are the ones who sings Heat Wave. I like that song too.

Hm is it bad that I have a lot of crushes? Hahaha 😅 okay so technically one of them is the girl from the past that I have been crushing on since grade school. I've always like her since we were younger and we don't talk much now but whenever I see her on social media, it's like feelings come back?? And I hate it lol.

The others are sort of recent. Yeah the tumblr crush, she's cool but I don't know, I don't wanna put feelings into it because it might turn out bad.

Haha I guess I could be. One time for our anniversary, I gave her a book of all the letters I wrote to her but never sent (because we were long distance at first).

Sounds like a busy day! How many brothers does he have? So his parents are not together?

Anyways, it's almost Christmas time! Are you guys going to take Emily to see some lights or decorated houses?

- CuriousGeorge

Corn-punn righty eyebag! Hello hello! I'm back! But i bet u r asleep already since u r 2 hours ahead i think.

I tried not to be rude to be on the phone when they were talking.

How r u? Hows everything in the last 2 days?

Sorry for the late reply.. we went to have sushi for lunch, then went to his brother's house to chill nncatch up. Got mexican food for dinner n too the kids to see christmas light neighborhood. Em fell asleep so easy because she was so tired. She had a big meltdown before go to dinner but thank god we could handle it.hahaha.

I'm so tired today.. i had to wake up early tomorrow because im gonna go to indonesian food place to hv some food n bring home some desert. 😁

Hahaha yeah we can trade place n weather for a bit .today was kinda chilly n windy so i still wore my pull over hoodie n thick jeans at noon n wore my coat at night when we were walking to see the christmas light.

I didnt bring all of the thick clothes but u brought long sleeves. Some of them r thick ones, some of them r thin.. i got upset because i took out the cardigans last minutes. Which they would be perfect for the weather right now.🙄😒

Yeah i like dark stories or thriller that has that vibes i told u. Because usually it focuses more on the antagonist's mind such as why they do what they did, or why they did it n what wrong step they did that got them caught, or the revelation of who did it.. N it's interesting. Even better that usually it has plot twist at the end. I love movies like that. I can recommend u some movies like that if u want. 😊

I wish i can write that kind of story someday.. 😊 a thriller story.

Yeah i love Glass Animals. The singer's voice is pretty unique.. n their style of music is pretty different. I love Your Love song. It inspired an interesting plot idea..😁

He has 3 younger brothers. He is the oldest. N em is the first granddaughter on his dad's side. His parents divorced a long time ago but they get a long well so they still hang out or attend each other's family gathering.

Yes we took em n her cousins see christmas light neighborhood. There are quite a few big neighborhood that do that every year on christmas n halloween too.

It sucks when i got the chance to reply u, u r either not awake yet or already went to bed because of the time difference. But oh well, i hope it doesnt bore u from waiting. Just leave me next questions after this. Will for sure still reply u asap

Cheerio!

#chellez answers #ask answered #anon answered #curious george anon

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cypric-rat-hyperfixation · 3 years

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Things to do that make you feel like a leedle rat

Eat some peas and be like heh heh. pea fishing

Collect stuff. just stuff. Put it somewhere. Be like heh heh. hoarde

Bonus points if it's stuff you just find, such as rocks and nails n' shit

Drink water really fucking loud

Sniff shit

...by which I mean STUFF not. shit

Fuckinf cuddle. If you have anyone or anything to cuddle. Do it

Eat smol food

Practice good hygiene. Rats are always cleaning themselves! But you don't have to be that diligent about it

.... Just shower/bathe, brush your hair/teeth, and wear deodorant regularly-- generally keep yourself funky n' fresh

Be transgender

Cosplay as Bruno Madrigal. or simply as a wrat

Eat things rats often eat that you can also eat: fruits, vegetables, nuts, yogurt, etc. and be like heh heh. rat food. for me. a leedle rat

Make all of the rules

Go exploring

Watch the rat movies. The Jerma ones. And be like I am the giant rat. Also

brush your teeth like legendary toothbrush from Rat Movie 2: The Movie

Be active at night if you can. Wrats are ✨nocturnal✨

Art, rat art,, rart

Learn a new skill or two like the bright little wrat you are

Get tickled or play hide-n-seek, games well-loved by rats

Punk stuff, rats are hella punk

Have absolutely no thoughts head empty, play the Wii theme in your head instead of thinking

Pee

Stim when you're happy

Just be a goddamn goofball bro rats are so fucking weird and so are you you ✨wrat✨

Drink lots and lots of water so you piss all the time. like a leedle rat

Bang out the tunes

Nibble your foods!

Movie night lineup........... Ratatouille, Encanto, Rat Movie: Mystery of the Mayan Treasure, Rat Movie 2: The Movie, Flushed Away, Ratatoing, The Secret of NIMH,

Sleeb

Make funny noises

Sing some rat songs (Rät by Penelope Scott, We Don't Talk About Bruno, rat songs from Jerma's rat movies)

Curl up when you sleep, in a sort of Rat Wheel

Take a shit

Denounce h*rry p*tter and its maker once and for all. No merch, no piracy, no consumption.

Engage in mutual aid. Rats are highly social animals and will forego chocolate in order to save another rat!

Socialize to the extent of your comfort

Nest

Cook in fremch

Make rat art-- draw, sculpt, crochet, etc

Drive around! Rats can be taught the drive tiny cars

Watch videos of rats!

Dig. Sandbox, mud on the side of the road, bin of stuffed animals, drawer of odds and ends, whatever you.. dig

Keep that diet varied to the best of your ability!

Stim via chewing, like with chewelry or gum n' shit. Rats gotta chew often to keep their perpetually growing teefs little, so you can too!

Go for a phucking swim

Engage in prosocial behaviors with your "mischief" (friends, family, community)

Have prosocial beliefs (pro-unions, gay rights, antiracism, equity)

Pee

Have smol toys and stim tools

Fit in some "you" time for self-care and rest!!!

Be teeny

Be gay 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

*squeak squeak*

Sway your head or body gently from side-to-side like a pink-eyed wrat trying to see

Look up rat information and learn all about them!

Eat ratatouille

When eating, turn the food this way and that way to find the best spot for the first bite, like leedle wrats do

Celebrate your birthday with cake and ice cream (as applicable & with any substitutes needed)

Do some fine motor activities to make you feel Teeny

Pet some rats or rat plushies

Support queer people

Pirate some media! :D Stealing from the rich is good and you should do it

Play games that have rats-- The Ratchelor, Dishonored, Rat Simulator, old Ratatouille games, Pokemon, Wizard101, Elder Scrolls, DnD, Minecraft rat mod, Wolvden, Dragon City, Okami, Cell to Singularity, & so many more

Pee

Make a ratsona or rat OCs! Use picrews as inspiration if you need

Get yourself. a little hole... spend time in it.......... Cozy little nests are a critical component for a healthy rat. but more importantly: for a healthy autism!!! You might construct a teeny fort out of a single chair, pitch a smol tent, or just hide away in your bedroom closet for a bit. Just gotta be enclosed, smol enough to be cozy, big enough to not make you feel cramped/cooped/claustrophobic, quiet, comforbl for you 💞

#rats #fancy rat #memes #food cw #giant rat that makes all of the rules #neil banging out the tunes #stim #ratpunk

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skyward-floored · 3 years

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Soooooo what if you flipped around wolf link being in botw and instead put botw Link in twilight princess...

Maybe he gets put there during the hundred year sleep? Or maybe it’s post-game... Unsure about which one would be better.

He isn’t dead either way, his spirit just got yeeted several several thousands of years backward. (And boy is it weird for him)

But anyway he sticks around the Hero’s Shade and drives him nuts

Twilight princess Link comes along and the hero’s shade is trying to teach him how to be a good hero and is trying to be mysterious and then this feral teenager runs up and is like “want me to show you how to launch yourself using bombs”

Twilight princess Link agrees and the hero’s shade would be yanking out his hair if he had any left

“I’m trying to teach him the hidden skills young one, there is no time for this! He has a kingdom to save!”

“Well I’m teaching him my own hidden skills, so yours’ll just have to wait.”

“SHIELD SURFING IS NOT A HIDDEN SKILL”

Gold wolf and wolf link howling songs together and then botw Link (who’s maybe a fox or something? Keeping with the canine theme of the game) starts doing that fox screaming thing and they give him the stink eye

Tp Link tells Midna about him and she nearly dies laughing

Basically he’s the Hero’s Shade’s annoying sidekick who is actually smarter then he acts and gives tp Link helpful tips along with the Shade’s teachings

And tp Link gains both a pseudo-father figure and a chaotic brother so it’s a win-win for everyone

until botw Link has to go back to his own time but that’s too sad for me to think about extensively unless you wanna connect this to lu and have twilight and wild already know each other ahem

#legend of zelda #twilight princess #loz tp #breath of the wild #botw #wolf link #and I mentioned lu so I’ll tag it #linked universe #Rambles from the Floor #also uh disclaimer: I’ve never played tp #but I know the general gist of it so I’m mostly not just guessing... mostly #I’m happy to answer questions about this au if you’ve got them!#Wolf Trio AU

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captain-yeet · 3 years

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Rhythm of the Night (Felix Volturi x Fem!Reader)

Summary: You weren't much of a nightclub girl. After some prodding by your friends, you gave in and decided to give it a shot. At the same time, a vampire had chosen the club you're at as his hunting grounds for the night...

Word count: 2.4k words.

Warnings: Swearing, suggestive themes, harrassment, Felix is a h0rny bastard, y'all beware

Author note: I guess I’m back? And with shameless sorta smutty Felix content to boot? Can’t say I’m surprised at myself - the thirst for this man is endless. Anyway, enjoy! I’m back to supply with more hot Volturi guard content.

Loud, blaring music? Check.

Standing awkwardly with a drink in your hand? Check.

Two out of three of your friends ditching you in this too-big-for-it's-own-good club? Double check.

You'd had a long week. Your job was driving you nuts, and things were getting on top of you in a bad way. After visiting you and seeing you curled up on the couch with a distant look in your eyes, your friends had dragged you into your bedroom, gotten you looking like a full snack and dragged your ass to a nightclub.

A nightclub, you mentally sighed, the lights flashing distracting you. It HAD to be a nightclub. I better not regret this.

"Come on, Y/N, loosen up!" Your friend next to you whined, a playful grin on their face.

"I've never been to one of these places before," you admitted loudly, your voice barely audible even with shouting.

Shaking their head, your remaining friend laughed. "Come, trust me."

Taking the drink from your clammy hand and setting it aside on a random surface, they pulled you into the fray of people dancing. A new song had begun and the excited cheers of the crowd were almost as loud as the song itself.

Leaning in, you heard your friend say, "Just follow my lead and have fun your way!"

Taking a deep breath, you nodded, and began swaying to the music along with your friend.

Entering the human infested club, Felix groaned internally. Demetri, because of course he would, suggested that he try and find a meal at the nearest nightclub in their vicinity.

"Lots of humans, especially ones who expect to have a fun night out!" Demetri had said casually, "just use your charm and lure one out."

Some days, I really do hate that man, Felix grumbled internally as the humid air and the scent of drunk people hit his face as he neared the sea of dancers. Scanning the faces and the scents of the crowd, he searched for his meal.

Demetri wasn't wrong; one of the best places to hunt were in fact nightclubs, along with dingy alleys in busy cities, hiking trails... and if you were desperate enough even regular old bars in cozy towns.

He wasn't desperate enough to risk his neck picking off a local from a bar. Too many people who know each other personally in bars. Nightclubs will do for the night.

Felix zeroed in on a potential victim; a random young man dancing with a girl and another man suggestively in the fray. He had no issue turning on his charm for the same sex - at the end of the day, they're all the same. All food.

A focused look on his face, he began to approach the man.

Midway through navigating the dancing humans, his hunt was interrupted by a body being shoved into him and a loud yell of "I said don't fucking touch me!"

Blinking, Felix's dark eyes darted from the person who was shoved into him and the one who shoved said person. A woman stood in front of him, glaring at their assailant with a mix of fury and fear rolled into one unfocused stare.

"... Just a friendly touch bitch, geez." the assailant grumbled, inaudible to human ears, but Felix just managed to catch it.

The woman's eyes shifted up to him. The wind felt like it'd been knocked out of him both by her scent as he paid more attention to her, and her mere presence itself. It was captivating, alluring even. Like a lasso had been thrown over him and was tugging him forward towards her.

She was captivating.

You found yourself staring at the absurdly tall man in front of you like an idiot. Out of all the times you had to find yourself stunned speechless by how handsome someone was, your subconscious picked a brilliant time to do so.

Handsome was an understatement, you thought hazily.

Almost forgetting the man who had put his hands on you without your consent, you shook your head and backed away quickly. Don't be creepy, don't be creepy, don't be creepy by staring at the hot guy, you chanted internally.

Pushing through the crowd again, you searched for any of your friend's faces. Tonight was taking a weird turn and you just wanted to forget the weird shit.

After what felt like a millennia, your anxiety fueled by the bone rattling bass of the music that vibrated through your body and the club itself, you found the friend that stood with you when the others had ditched.

They took one look at your expression and a look of concern lit their eyes. "You okay?" they mouthed, gently reaching out and rubbing your shoulder reassuringly.

Nodding shakily, you gave a weak smile. "Got lost," you mouthed back.

Half an hour later and with a bit of booze in your system, you finally let loose. You were still upset about the guy touching you but you pushed it to the back of your mind for now; this would be the first and last time you go clubbing, you thought.

Dancing with your friend, you closed your eyes and lost yourself in the rhythm of the song that was playing, giggling all the way.

"Hey, Y/N!" You heard your friend call. Opening your eyes, they motioned off to the side with a devilish grin. "You've got an admirer!"

Following her gaze, you searched until you spotted who they were talking about, and promptly felt the blood in your cheeks boil from more than just being tipsy.

It was the insanely tall hot guy from earlier.

And he was looking directly at you.

"Aw man, what do I doooooo?" You whined loudly, desperately looking at your friend for help.

"What do you mean?" they replied, laughing.

You leaned in closer so they could hear you better. "He's too pretty for me," you hissed. You quickly sneaked another glance at him and... he was laughing?

Oh god is my mere appearance that funny? You thought to yourself.

"Why don't you go find out?" Your friend whispered back, giggling. “Or better yet, let’s tease him!”

Go find out? Are they mad? What if he rejects me and I have to live with being rejected by a ethereal-looking hot person? What if they don't?

Wait, tease how-?

Your friend suddenly grabbed your hips and the dance turned very sexual in nature. Catching along to their plan, you grinned, albeit a little manically due to pure anxiety, and matched your friend’s suggestiveness.

“Oh yeah, it’s working,” they whispered in your ear. “Look.”

Turning your body away from your friend to allow them to grind behind you as your hips swayed in sync to the rhythm of the song playing, you felt very satisfied when you saw the handsome man staring straight at you like a rabbit in headlights.

Damn, it worked!

At your smug grin, the man straightened up out of his daze with a dark look in his eyes.

“I think he wants youuuuu,” your friend cooed in your ear.

To hit the final nail in your coffin, he lifted one of his hands palm up, curling four fingers with a smirk on his face. He was calling you over.

Your heart leaped out of your chest. This is fine.

Taking a deep breath and deciding "Fuck it", you made your way over to the ridiculously tall hot man, not before finishing a shot your friend had placed in your hand from who-knows-where. You silently thanked them for the extra liquid courage. Weaving through the crowd, you tried to steady your ever-growing nerves as you got closer to the mysterious stranger.

“What do I dooooo?” the pretty young lady whined to her friend, prompting her friend to ask her why. “He’s too pretty for me,” she hissed, barely audible over the bass of the music.

Felix laughed obnoxiously at her distress. The sight of her pretty eyes going wide when he beckoned her to him was one thing, but “He’s too pretty for me” sent him off the edge into a fit of amused almost-hysterical laughter.

Get a handle on yourself, he chided himself. Quickly as he lost his composure he regained it, waiting for the human’s decision, a little smidge of anxiety rising in his chest. What if she decides not to come over? Then my chances with the little human are blown.

The thought made his mind short-circuit. I referred to her as if she was mine...

There wasn’t time to ponder it further thought; as his train of thought refocused on his surroundings as she did something very unexpected.

Her friend whispered something into her ear and before he knew it he was watching her dance very suggestively in front of him. They teamed up to taunt him.

And it was working. Felix almost completely forgot about his thirst for blood as pure lust took over his senses. Oh she’s going to be the death of me, he groaned internally, his eyes trained on every motion her body made. Felix’s thoughts quickly and shameless went into the gutter as he began picturing how’d she feel dancing like that against him... and on his lap... and also what he’d do in retaliation to the teasing.

Her friend whispered something else into her ear, the snake to his sweet Eve in the garden, and they both turned to look at him. Backing away from her friend, the woman took a deep breath and he could hear her growl the words “Fuck it,” downing a shot handed to her by her friend before beginning to stride over toward him.

Standing up a little straighter, he tried to turn off the very dirty thoughts running laps in his mind as she came closer. He wanted this to succeed, after all. A small polite smile crept onto his face as the pretty lady appeared before him.

“Hi,” she greeted him wearing a nervous smile, a different persona standing before him from the seductress that taunted him on the dancefloor.

Felix grinned, turning on the full power of his charm on the helpless girl. “I uh, couldn’t help but recognize you from earlier, how are you feeling after that earlier incident?”

She froze at the pet name, then her pretty eyes narrowed as she was trying to recall the events in her drunken state. When it clicked they widened. “Right! Yeah... that wasn’t very fun.” Pausing a moment, she stared at Felix’s chest, shyly refusing to meet his gaze. “Thank you for stepping in. Really, I appreciate it.”

This poor sweet thing, Felix thought to himself, completely enamored. She goes from being loud and unaware of how loud she’s being with her friend to shy and bashful trying to talk to me.

“Make a move, idiota,” Demetri’s voice chimed in, putting extra emphasis on the last mocking word; where exactly he was Felix had no idea, but, with his old friend taunting him from the shadows, he decided it was now or never.

Felix ducked down and leaned in closer to Y/N’s face, speaking clearly in her ear. “What’s your name, gorgeous?”

Y/N’s heart hammered away frantically even before he finished asking; most likely due to how close he now was to her, Felix concluded, but he’d like to think it was also due to some level of mutual attraction.

He hoped, anyway.

“It’s Y/N,” she answered, subconsciously turning her head a little toward Felix’s face.

“Well Y/N, it was my pleasure to keep creepy assholes off you.”

Oh dear lord why did I say it like that? He chided himself internally, cringing after the sentence left his mouth. I might as well have said “thanks for being harassed, sexy.”

Over the heavy bass of the club’s music, Demetri’s cackling laughter further teased Felix.

To his surprise - and safe to say Demetri’s, from wherever he was lurking and watching this unfold - Y/N giggled, the melodic sound growing in volume till it became an obnoxious booming laugh of her own. Pulling back to stand at his full height again, Felix looked at Y/N like she’d grown two heads.

“Well, please feel free to keep more creeps away from me in the future,” she said casually, like Felix hadn’t said something awkward. “Mind telling me your name?”

Blinking a couple times just to compose himself - and keep up the “human” appearance - he grinned back at her. “Felix.”

Y/N matched Felix’s grin with one of her own, and from that moment Felix knew he was hooked on her. He was so absorbed by her smile that he didn’t notice her pulling out her phone.

“Gimme your phone,” she commanded, a playful glint in her eyes. “and make sure it’s unlocked.”

Curious at what this strange woman would do next, Felix reached into his back pocket and pulled out his phone, unlocking it as she commanded. He held out his phone and she took it from his hand, a small shocked gasp leaving her lips as her warm skin made contact with his icy skin.

“May I ask what you’re doing?” he asked, cocking his head a little to the side as he watched her fingers tap away on the phone screen.

“Going through your nudes,” she commented in a monotone voice, her full drunken concentration solely on his phone.

“Is that so?” he chuckled dryly, raising his eyebrows at the crassness.

She looked up once, with a small smirk, and then with a final tap to the phone screen, handed his phone back to him. “Normally I don’t do this but I like you, and I just put my number in your phone.”

She said it so casually, but her heart steadily hammering away in the same, frantic pace it was when he leaned in earlier was a giveaway to Felix that Y/N was nervous.

She’s... giving me her number. Wow.

Amazed and elated, Felix’s grin could have cracked his face with how wide he was smiling. “I’ll be in touch for sure, Y/N,” he replied, enjoying his her name felt leaving his mouth.

With a playful smile and a blush growing steadily on her cheeks, Y/N backed away from Felix in the direction of her friend. “I’ll see you around then!” she called out over the music, biting her lip in an attempt to keep from smiling so hard.

In that moment, Felix could care less about how much of a dumb ass he felt like earlier for his blunder of a pick up line, his still budding thirst or his friend’s smug comment of “Well played,” faintly reaching his ears. He’d endure the torment from Demetri’s teasing later.

Right now, he was staring at a drunken angel that would be his entire future, and she was none the wiser tot he fact that with by some liquid courage she had stolen this centuries-old man’s heart in it’s entirety.

#**barrel rolls away**#felix volturi x reader #felix volturi #twilight saga #the twilight saga #volturi #volturi x reader #volturi imagines #we back at it again #twilight renaissance

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yikesharringrove · 3 years

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Billy closed the front door behind him, the pine wreath jiggling as the door swung shut.

He took of his boots, leaving them next to Steve’s wet snow boots, smiling down and rolling his eyes fondly at the fancy fur-lined things.

He could hear Steve in the kitchen, no doubt on the phone. .

“Yeah, no, it’s okay. No, I don’t mind. Yeah. Mom, seriously, it’s alright. Just, uh, enjoy the trip. I’ll-yes. Yeah. I’m good! Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yep. Alright, love you too. Yep. Bye now. Of course. Yeah. Okay. Talk soon.”

He was leaned against the wall next to the mounted phone, his back to the entry way.

He was twisting the chord around his wrist.

Billy liked to imagine Steve doing that whenever they spoke on the phone. Liked to imagine him twirling the chord around and blushing and getting all gooey.

Mostly because Steve was always so damn rigid when he spoke with his parents. So anxious and stiff.

He shook his hand free, placing the phone back on the hook and sighing deeply.

And then he sniffed.

Billy wrapped his arms around him from behind, and Steve didn’t waste a moment before leaning back against him.

“You okay?”

“Yeah.”

“What was your mom talking about?”

“It’s nothing.” Steve took a deep breath, turning in his arms to wrap his own arms around Billy’s shoulders, giving him his best attempt at a smile. “Hey.”

“Hey back.”

Steve leaned forward, ready to press his lips to Billy’s, only to have Billy lean back, avoiding him completely. He pouted at Billy.

“Tell me what’s up. Then you get a kiss.”

Steve’s pout just went deeper. Billy liked to pretend he was immune to those goddamn doe eyes. He absolutely was not.

“It’s nothing. Really.”

“Nah, your parents are being shitty again, and I wanna know about it so I can make you feel better.”

And Steve melted, just a little bit at that.

“Don’t make fun of me.”

Billy gasped dramatically.

“I would never.”

Steve rolled his eyes.

“It’s just, my mom and I have this tradition. Around Christmastime. We, you know. We go to the city, and do dinner, just the two of us. And we. God, it sounds so lame.” Billy pinched his side. Steve pulled his hair in retaliation. “And, wegototheballet.” Steve let his head flop onto Billy’s shoulder.

“Stevie, you got mush mouth there at the end.”

“We go to the freakin’ ballet, okay? We go to the ballet!” And Steve was pulling away, his face beet red, his arms wrapped around himself. “We do it every year, and have since I could sit through the fucking thing, and she’s not coming this year. And she said why don’t you take your girlfriend, Nancy? And I don’t know how many times I’ve told her that Nancy and I broke up, but she still just-” he cut himself off shaking his head. “It’s like, I know it’s fucking lame, but it’s my favorite part of Christmas. I look forward to it all damn year and we’re not going.”

And the thing on the tip of Billy’s tongue was Jesus, the fucking ballet, Harrington? Could you be anymore of a princess?

But this is, like, effecting Steve. This is actually taking a fucking toll on him.

And, well, Billy said he’d try to make him feel better.

“So, when is it?”

“When’s what?”

“The fucking ballet.”

And Steve stared at him.

“Never, apparently. Because she’s having too much fun in Saint-Tropez, and anyway aren’t you getting a little old for it, Steven?” He put on a breathy voice when he imitated his mother, sticking his nose in the air.

“I mean when is it running, numb nuts.”

“All this month. It’s like, Christmas themed. They do it every year.”

“Then you’re in charge of getting tickets.”

And Steve was giving him a look, his eyes narrowed.

“Are you, suggesting, that you, Billy ‘I’m rough and tough and dangerous’ Hargrove, are going to take me to the ballet?”

“I’m not suggesting it, shithead. I’m telling you to get fucking tickets, and let me know the date so I can get a nice fucking shirt.”

“You’re serious? You’re going to drive with me to the city, and sit there for nearly three hours, and watch the ballet with me.”

“Jesus fuck-three hours? God, the shit I do for you.” He scrubbed a hand down his face as Steve, Steve’s face split into a wide smile, the one that makes his nose scrunch up, and he began hopping from foot to foot, bobbing his head.

“Okay. Okay! I’m gonna, I think I can buy them over the phone. I’ll, I’m gonna do it before you have a chance to back out.” He took a step closer to Billy, grabbing his face in one hand, making his cheeks pout, planting a kiss to his lips before zooming off to dig the phone book out of the hall closet.

He was humming away to himself, probably the music from the fucking ballet Billy had resigned himself to seeing, while he pawed through the heavy book, searching for the number of the theater in Indianapolis.

Billy rolled his eyes at Steve’s little outbursts of excitement, tossing himself into one of the chairs at the kitchen table.

“You fucking owe me. Just, like, by the way. I’m talking blowjobs every day. I’m talking cigarettes. I’m talking homemade dinners.”

“Oh, you mean the shit that I already do because I l-love you, or whatever.” Steve’s face went bright red, and he turned away from Billy, standing in a stunned silence, jamming the phone up to his ear. “Yeah, hi, I’d like to purchase some tickets please.” His voice sounded strained, and he reached up to tug on a lock of hair near the crown of his head.

Billy was stuck fucking dumb.

He’s never, fucking never had someone tell him that they love him. He thinks maybe his mom did back in the day, but it’s been a long fucking time since he’s felt the slow spread of warmth down his spine that comes with hearing it.

Steve loves him.

Steve was rambling away on the phone, tugging on the phone cord, and tapping his foot maniacally.

Billy doesn’t think he could move.

And eventually he hear the person on the other end of the line hang up. He registered Steve placing the phone quietly on the hook once again.

He stayed with his back towards Billy.

“Steve.”

He took a deep breath, turning around to face Billy with a big fake smile.

“I got tickets! We’re going on Saturday. So, uh, yeah. If you need to borrow some clothes, it’s, it’s pretty fancy. So, like, uh, yes.” Steve was babbling, his eyes darting between Billy’s left ear and the wall behind him.

“Steve.”

“I got mezzanine seats. That’s where I like to sit, uh, you can see the stage better that way, and they’re usually cheaper. I mean, not that that’s, like, the thing, but, it’s a bonus.”

“Steve.”

Steve rolled his lips into his mouth, his leg shaking.

“Can we, like, not talk about it?”

“I feel like we should, though.”

“I don’t, wanna.”

Billy fought the urge to roll his eyes. He should be, like, sweet for this conversation. Or something. Adjacent to it.

“At least, did you mean it? What you said?”

Steve bit his bottom lip.

“Yeah.”

“Good. I mean. I liked, liked hearing it. And, uh, me too. You know. Uno reverse.” Billy gestured like he was putting a card down between them. Steve gave him a blank stare.

“Did you just, Uno reverse my confession of love? Is that seriously what just happened?”

“Well, like-” the thing is, it’s a big fucking word. And he doesn’t think he can actually, like, say it to Steve. But, he feels it. He definitely feels it. Like, fuck, he’s going to the goddamn ballet for this fucker. Obviously, there’s some big fucking feelings there. “What you feel. Is also. What I feel.”

“Oh. Good, then. Yeah. Good.” Steve looked around the room. “Should we, like, shake on it?”

“Shake on it? Steve, fucking Hell. Just come here.” He reached out, looping his fingers through Steve’s belt loops, tugging him into his arms. And Steve stumbled forward, crashing with very little grace into Billy.

He sighed as Billy kissed him, a sloppy, desperate kiss. A kiss that Billy tried to shove every word he couldn’t say into Steve’s brain the same way he shoved his tongue into Steve’s mouth.

And when they broke apart, Steve began humming, grinning wildly.

And Billy figured the song was from the fucking ballet he had agreed to see with Steve. Which he can’t stress enough, the fact that he is going to see a goddamn, motherfucking ballet just to make his favorite person happy, that’s as close as Billy can possibly come to a declaration of devotion at this point in his life.

But Steve pulled out a brightly decorated record from his family’s collection, explaining that the ballet had many different iterations, but all choreographed to the same compilation of music, and apparently, this was enough for him.

To have Billy hold him while he talked for hours about the story of the ballet, the history of it, the music the costumes he likes, everything, maybe it was okay that Billy couldn’t say the words. Maybe it was okay that he was there, that he did the things Steve liked just to see him smile.

Billy’s never been enough for anyone.

But then again, neither has Steve.

(And when they finally see the show, it’s the most beautiful thing Billy’s ever seen in his life. They go once more before the run is closed and establish a new tradition together.)

#yikes writes #I watched the nutcracker bc they aired our local production on tv and its highkey the best production of the nutcracker i've ever seen #and i've seen a lot #but it's my favorite #and I may or may not have cried while watching it and thought of this #I was in that production for four years ayyoooo #steve harrington #billy hargrove #harringrove

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bluewinnerangel · 3 years

Note

Hellop, I don’t know if you have talked about this but what’s your interpretation of ftdt? I’ve read that it’s because they broke up for some time and that miss you was written when they broke up but I don’t think that… and I trust you so I want to know your opinion, if you want☺️☺️

Hi! I keep thinking if I just keep these kinda asks in my inbox/drafts I won't forget and I'll come back with some crisp song analysis soon but I just.. don't. It's useless and so I'm just gonna answer you without an analysis, oop. So instead have a ramble of what I think about FTDT...

FTDT is a bit of a mystery to me, he dragged in a whole lot of inspirations there and if we dig deep enough we might find some clarity, but, I think it's some very carefully crafted deep shit that probably has meaning to it nowhere close to what it looks like on the surface, that very little is literal about it...

As for inspirations I think I'm seeing so far, the rawness of it is very Bukowski, have some Pink Floyd parallels too (not just FTDT but it's an important part of it), and then he just went Brokeback Mountain, yep, I want that on my album. I want that twice.

So the part where (in that last link) I'm convinced he's horsebackriding off of Brokeback Mountain with Sweet Creature because yaknow SC is about him and his brokeback bropal, that same logic should then be applied to FTDT, which puts me in a bit of a bropal browhat position because that just flings me back over the net to taking the whole thing literal after all, thinking this must be about a time when they weren't on good terms.

But I just have this itch that that's just not it... I still don't think it's about much more than himself. It could be one big fat struggle with being silent, not saying things, feeling isolated because he's not out and honest to the world (like I mean.. what SO MANY of his songs are doing it's insane, just skip to Harry's ones in here), or with himself, and this "you" is just a personification of whatever, and they wrote a bit of a context/concept around it of just missing someone, waiting for a call, maybe one day this situation will change, but it doesn't...

And another ~what if~ I got here and I kinda like it is that it's possible he's just singing about Brokeback Mountain? Like from one of the character's POV (Jack fits the most): in the end all Ennis has of Jack is an old shirt -> "I see you gave him my old T-shirt", and Ennis is a man of very few words and that's driving Jack nuts -> "comfortable silence is so overrated" and "why won't you ever say what you want to say", then there's Jack hoping things will change and that maybe one day they'll live their lives together while Ennis isn't willing to do so -> "maybe one day [you'll call me and tell me that you're sorry too,] but you, you never do", and they got serious lack of communication throughout their lives and I believe a "I saw your friend that you know from work, he said you feel just fine" moment is in the movie somewhere too. This might be total bullshit. Also that's not even where that brainfart birthed from, it's from To Be So Lonely, where there's a very obvious reference to The Notebook in there ("I'm just an arrogant son of a bitch who can't admit when he's sorry") and I feel the song could be from Noah's POV instead of being autobiographical, or still in a way, because why would you write a whole song from a character's POV if you don't resonate with said character or the story they're in.

There's also a bigass theme in all 1D boys' lyrics about "god are any of us ever gonna say we're sorry first because yeah that went wrong but it seems none of us are open about it and did we do the right thing or not here idk??" but then again if it's about that then I'm just really wondering why it's to the tune of them cowboygays (not) fishing. So the Jack's POV thing is always in the brokeback of my head.

This is explaining very little of the lyrics asdjkahsdj Maybe one day you'll ask me, and tell me you want that lyric breakdown too, but I, I never do

#from the dining table #FTDT #brokeback mountain

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boognish-worshipper · 3 years

Text

Remember the Rain

praying this is the final part of “Sunrise, Sunset” by the time i’m done omg ,, lamar finally talks it out with frank. i was tryna keep the titles consistent with a sky theme? wasn’t sure what to name this one at first, but i settled on naming it after a i song that i felt was sorta fitting lol ,, also lamar’s dramatic when drunk, that’s jus how it’s gonna be

oh and i included one last convo w/ that psychic lady bc each character got three opportunities to speak to her lol

The night Franklin and him fought was the third night in a row Lamar couldn’t sleep right. Then it became four. Then five. Six. He had hoped after the first couple days of Franklin being mad, that it’d all blow over and things would go back to normal. That he wouldn’t ever have to say anything about what he felt deep down. Even though he told himself he had to, he wouldn’t. He waited it out, and still hoped it would all just fucking blow over. That wasn’t what happened of course.

An overcast sky was spread over LS, light rain tapping against Lamar’s window. As cheesy as it was, it reflected how he felt. Another day had passed. Franklin wasn’t picking up, not even reading his texts, nothing. He called a couple times at first when the fourth day of the silent treatment occurred, then tried a few more times to contact him in the following days. It had grown into a long and sad string of texts.

franklin.

dog

plz

pick up

answer me

plz?

c’mon frank i told you i have nothin goin on with yo auntie

i wanna talk things out with you.

u ain’t let me finish explaining

text me when u read this. plz bro

He sighed. This was hopeless. He set his phone aside, still laying awake. A buzz came right after. Fucking finally, something.

fuck you

we got nothin to discuss

He didn’t know how to feel. This was fucking him up and he couldn’t think straight. He tried calling him once more, the ringing as he waited for a pick up mocking him. Voicemail yet again. How many messages had he tried leaving at this point?

for fucks sake frank pick up

u ain’t doin this to me rn

jus let me explain myself

He stared at the ceiling yet again, like it would have all the answers sprawled out for him. As he did, he focused on how the rain had picked up, coming down harder. Then he felt his phone buzz.

now stop blowing my phone up

i’m tryna sleep

Lamar was never one to be sensitive, but he felt so crushed right now that all he could do was cry silently to himself. He didn’t even have Chop around anymore to comfort him like he normally would whenever Lamar was going through something. Would he even see him again? He lived over at Frank’s now. Fuck. Did this mean they’d have to share custody now? If he wasn’t so upset, he most likely would’ve laughed at the idea of it. He was letting bad thoughts consume him, turning to a last minute resort of drinking to try stopping it. This kind of thing rarely happened to him, these kind of feelings weren’t common. He knew no other method of trying to stuff bad feelings down, working through a 6 pack of beer on his own, followed by a bottle of some type of random liquor. Anything to stifle the pain in his chest, although it didn’t accomplish much other than making him feel even more queasy. He left one last voicemail, choking back a sob. Or what he had thought would be the last one. He lost count.

“Franklin. Please jus’ talk to me already man. You- you believin’ what you wanna believe right now, you ain’t even givin’ me a chance. You my best fuckin’ friend, don’t that mean shit to you anymore? We.. homies n shit.” He sniffled, cringing to himself when he said the words “best friend”. Franklin was so much more than that to him.

“Ion… Ion think I can live without you in my life. You can’t hate me man that shit.. that’s fucked. This is fucked. I’m fucked.”

A strong feeling of humiliation hung around him for many reasons, one being that he was fully crying now, over the phone. He couldn’t get any lower.

“You jus’ mad right now. But you.. you won’t be, eventually. Right? Please get back to me soon. Please. I’d rather fuckin’.. die or sum’ than have you hatin’ me n shit. At this point I might as well.”

After hanging up, he decided to visit that site one last time. His tears blurred his vision, making it harder to type. The shit in his system didn’t help either.

lady

i fuckef up

thsi is yo faukt

What now? Why are you back?

frankljn hates me

He does? That’s not right.

damn straighy it fuckign isnt

No, I mean that’s not correct.

There’s no way that he could, even if it seems like it right now.

jus fuckin tell me whst to do

That’s out of my hands.

is not u fuckin wirch

*withc

*witch

Look, I really don’t know how else to help you. I don’t have any other visions to offer. You’re on your own.

They do say though, that dreams are visions themselves.

dont fukcin speak in riddles rn

Precognition, Lamar. Just have faith

prewhatnow

n yeah. faith. bc that helps so fuckn much

All I can say to you is good luck - it’s all coming together. Just wait.

th fuck does that mean?

It means that you’re stressing too much - you better sleep it off. Farewell Lamar. You’re gonna have a killer hangover you know…

SERVICE UNAVAILABLE. PLEASE TRY AGAIN LATER.

The notification did nothing but make him more upset. He calmed down eventually, the crying and alcohol tiring him out. He blacked out soon after, not remembering when he fell asleep.

For the first time in a while, he dreamt about the two of them. The start of the dream showed a radiant sight before them, the sky lit up in a million shades. Chop was laying beside Franklin, head on his thigh. All three of them sat on a grassy knoll, a soft breeze blowing through each blade. Franklin turned, Lamar not taking his eyes off him since the dream started. He only noticed the sky’s wide color palette because the intensity struck Franklin’s face just right. He looked right into Lamar’s eyes, speaking softly.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“What?”

“You had so many opportunities. So many times, I thought that you would. I got my hopes up, you know. I waited. When Tanisha left.. I only had you.”

“Tanisha..”

“I still love her. I.. I think apart of me always will, but I love you just the same. Even if you drive me up a Goddamn wall sometimes. You both mean the world to me.”

Franklin looked back at the view ahead. A heavenly indigo replaced the vivid hues from before.

“But she’s gone now. Shit ain’t the same. All I know is you stayed when she didn’t. Even when she got pulled outta the hood and made some kinda new life for herself, you never left my side. Never changed yo loyalties.”

He turned back to face Lamar again. His eyes were glassy, the glow of the midnight sky reflecting in them.

“So why didn’t you say somethin’ sooner?”

“Franklin.. I ain’t deduce that shit ‘til now.“

“You really didn’t know?”

Even in the dream he could feel that previous frustration occur in his mind. Was he hiding in a glass closet or something? He could only let out a wry laugh.

“Yeah man. I was a fuckin’ fool, jus’ like you always said.”

“Damn straight.” He chuckled, and Lamar came to the conclusion that he could listen to that laugh forever. Franklin’s face then fell solemn.

“Y’know I really thought that.. I really thought that you jus’ got with someone else. Not even jus’ my Aunt. I saw how you wanted to get away from me, and I thought…” He stopped himself, petting Chop’s head.

“I.. wanted to be happy if you was, but the thought of that at all bothered me.”

“Why?”

“Cuz you were all I had, dog. Mike n Trevor, they have their own lives, their own history n shit. I can’t always rely on them. Denise don’t give a fuck what happen to me. You my lifeline dog, I’ve known you for years. I didn’t want you to forget me over a chick or sum’. That day you acted all different n shit, it worried me.”

“Hey man, y’know I ain’t ever gon pull that shit on you. I’m with you for life.”

“Then don’t pull other kinda stupid shit on me.”

“Whatchu mean?”

“You can’t ever die on me bro. That ain’t how this shit works.”

“Ay man, I don’t plan on dying jus’ yet. Not unless yo ass by my side. Not ‘til I tell you I…” He couldn’t finish the sentence.

Franklin got closer to his face, cupping his cheek. His eyes shone as the stars around them fell from the sky, akin to raindrops, hitting them. Everything about him was flooding Lamar’s senses, and it felt surreal, between his aroma and all the other things he loved about Franklin. Golden flecks covered them both, and the stars continued to crash down. The sky was growing darker than before.

“Just say the words Lamar. Say them and this shit’ll be over.”

“How?”

“Well first you need to wake yo ass up.”

“Huh?”

“I said wake up, fool!”

Lamar’s blissful dream had been interrupted by an unknown figure shaking him, literal raindrops hitting his face. He was still bleary eyed, only seeing a vague silhouette in front of him. A wet slap to the face rattled his brain around, the hangover settling in. Shit, was he still drunk? What time was it?

“Lamar! Get up!”

“Oh.. Th’fuck? Who- who that is?” He grunted out.

“It’s me you fuckin’ clown!”

“Frank?”

“Who the fuck else?”

“Why are you-”

He was abruptly yanked out of bed, thudding to the floor with a small “oof”.

“Get up you punk bitch!”

“Franklin what the fuck-”

He was grabbed again, tossed back onto his bed. Franklin straddled him, shaking Lamar by the collar.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” He said, Lamar getting another slap to the face.

“What in the fresh fuck is you talkin’-” Another slap.

“15 fuckin’ missed phone calls! 15! Are you fuckin’ nuts?!”

Lamar’s eyes practically popped out of his head. 15? What the fuck did he say to him?

“I did what-”

Franklin shook him even harder by his shirt, stretching the material out. He was straining his voice now.

“You had me worried like fuckin’ crazy! I thought you was in some sorta fuckin’ trouble again! You blew my phone up when I told yo ass not to, and then didn’t fuckin’ pick up after I heard the first couple special messages you left me!”

Oh God. This was it. He told Franklin everything, didn’t he? The color drained from his face.

“Oh fuck me..” He mumbled, putting a hand over his eyes.

“What?!” Franklin yelled, shaking him again. Lamar’s head was pounding.

“Franklin.. what.. what I say on there? I barely remember a thing, let alone callin’ yo ass.”

“You seriously don’t fuckin’ remember?!”

“Yeah. Seriously, man.”

Franklin slid off of him, putting a palm to his face. He breathed through his nose hard, trying to calm down. Lamar realized he was drenched from the small downpour outside. Pellets of rain thumped against the window as a reminder that the storm never went away.

“You.. fuck, man. You started sayin’ all this shit about how bad a fuckin’ friend you was. That you, you was hidin’ all this shit and couldn’t live another day without tellin’ me.”

Okay. Good. He didn’t tell him the truth.

“You told me you wanted to die dog. Didn’t realize yo dumbass was safe n sound asleep in yo fuckin’ bed.”

“Oh.”

“…’Oh’? Is that really all you have to say?!”

“F, I was jus’ drunk. It was dumb of me, I know, but I.. It’s nothing, okay?”

“Don’t do this shit to me man! I’ve already dealt with enough of yo fuckin’ schemes n shit-”

“Frank.”

“It’s 3 am! You had Chop barkin’ his Goddamn head off the whole night!”

“Franklin.”

“Then I race my ass over here to find yo drunkass self passed out in bed-”

“Franklin.”

“What! What?! You finally gonna put yo two cents in for once?”

“Stop yelling. My head hurts like a bitch right now.”

“Good! I’m fuckin’ glad because I know mine does as well you fuckin’ asshole!”

Lamar looked pathetically up at him. This was getting out of hand. He let it go on for too long.

“Why did you come here then?” He croaked.

“Because you were fuckin’ sobbin’ into the phone! All I heard was you cryin’ like mad fuckin’ crazy and it scared me. You don’t ever do that shit, not even when you fucked up.”

“How much I say?”

“I got the first message pretty fuckin’ clear, the rest was jus’ incoherent bullshit. I barely got through the second one before speedin’ on over. You sounded hurt n shit, I thought something happened. I thought you was a goner.”

“No weird shit though right? I ain’t say nothin’ bad?”

“What? Lamar, what the fuck are you on about? I just told you what yo ass cried out to me! I couldn’t even understand any of the other messages!”

“Okay, okay. That’s.. good I guess.”

“That’s good? Fuckin’ hell, why did I come here? You- ugh!”

“Franklin. Can you jus’ sit down before you pop a fuckin’ blood vessel? You stressin’ for nothin’.”

If anything, Lamar should be the one stressing right now. He had been so close to confessing without knowing. Franklin sat next to him, arms crossed.

“Franklin.”

“What.”

“I’m sorry that I scared you. I didn’t mean to.”

“Well good fuckin’ job, you accomplished that real well didn’t you.” He said, sarcastically applauding him.

“I thought you were cutting me off for good homie. You think I was gon’ let that happen?”

“Lamar, that still ain’t a good reason to freak me out like that in the middle of the night.”

“It’s only cuz you hadn’t been listenin’ to me bro. I’ve been wanting to tell you somethin’ so badly lately and I never.. got the chance.”

“Then do pray fuckin’ tell LD, what the fuck is so important that you had to do this shit to me at 3 AM!”

“Franklin man, c’mon-”

“No! Don’t start!”

Franklin stood, heading for the door as he spoke. He stopped in the threshold.

“Tell me what the fuck is goin’ on with you, or I’m leavin’ yo sad ass here to wallow. I mean it L.”

“Don’t be like that. Please man. I want to, but I-”

“Jus’ fuckin’ tell me! Why won’t you tell me?!”

“Frank-”

“I dragged my ass all the way over here for nothin’ didn’t I? You ain’t dead, you ain’t sayin’ shit, you jus’ bein’ so- ugh! Fuck!” He threw his hands up, exiting Lamar’s bedroom.

“I’m done man, fuck this.”

“Franklin wait- don’t go-” He pleaded.

Franklin did nothing but leave him stranded again, thunder rolling far in the distance. Lamar ran after him as he walked out the door, hearing the rain heavily hit the pavement. His mind was racing far ahead of him. Franklin was leaving, he was leaving for good, and he couldn’t. He can’t. That’s not how it’s supposed to work. Franklin can’t do that, he can’t-

His mind had gone so far away, that he didn’t even realize that he had tackled Franklin to the ground. The two of them fell to the ground with a loud splat, followed by sounds of pain.

“Lamar what the fuck?!”

“Don’t go! Fuckin’ hell, I gotta chase yo ass and for what?!”

“Get off me dog!”

“No!” Franklin was pinned beneath him. The raindrops that rolled off of Lamar hit him in the face.

It reminded Lamar of when they were younger, playing football or whatever sport they could outside even as the deluge soaked them both to the bone. The roles had been reversed, with Franklin constantly knocking him down onto the grassy sludge. They got quite an earful from Lamar’s mom as they tracked mud in the house upon returning. It was a memory amongst many that stuck with him like glue. Those memories couldn’t go away. Franklin couldn’t go away.

Tears mixed in with the rain as he yelled out to him.

“You fuckin’ idiot! Why you makin’ this shit so hard for me?! You keep leavin’ before I can even finish!”

Franklin struggled to break free from Lamar’s grip on his wrists, huffing as he looked away.

“Look at me!” Lamar shouted, grabbing his face with a free hand.

“I didn’t wanna fuckin’ tell you like this, but Jesus Christ! For fucks sake you stubborn asshole-”

He was doing it. He bit the fucking bullet.

“You know how we got into that fuckin’ argument last week? When I told you that I was dealin’ with that whole love thing, I wasn’t talkin’ about yo Aunt, a hoe, nobody else! I was talkin’ about you!”

Lamar threw himself off of him, stumbling backwards. Franklin propped himself onto his elbows. He finally said it. He said it, and he was far from finished.

“But you didn’t wanna fuckin’ listen! And now I’ve fucked our friendship over for a second time! All because of you! This whole thing has been drivin’ me fuckin’ insane lately, and I couldn’t do shit about it! I tried so, so hard to avoid this, but nothin’ ever goes my way, huh?! Every time I think a plan of mine’ll work, it doesn’t! You know why?!”

Opening his arms wide, he spoke loud and clear, finishing his rant.

“Lemme remind you: I’m Lamar fuckin’ Davis! The biggest fuckin’ fool, fuckin’ clown, fuckin’ whatever you wanna call me! Lamar Davis, the most naïve bitch on the planet! Fuck me for thinking that this would ever go well!”

Now it was his turn to leave. But he didn’t go back into his house. His legs moved for him, walking in no particular direction. He just needed to get away from Franklin, not caring about how damp his clothes were now. He was shaking, and he didn’t know if it was from the rain or the range of emotions he was flying through.

He could hear a pair of sneakers squishing behind him. Franklin was running, and he was catching up fast.

“Ay Lamar! Get back here!”

Oh fuck. He was chasing after him now. That’s not good. Lamar started running himself, not caring about possibly slipping and falling on his ass. Only a few hours ago, he had told himself he couldn’t be without Franklin. Now all he wanted to do was run away.

“Lamar!”

Fuck fuck fuck.

He wasn’t fast enough. The second time they hit the ground, Lamar had the wind knocked right out of him, the duo splashing right into a puddle. Hands gripped his shoulders, flipping him around.

“Lamar!”

There were only a few instances in his life where Lamar felt small. He’d always been big in character, big in height, and according to him, big in other ways. But this was one of those moments where he couldn’t help but flinch, wanting to collapse in on himself. He was so tired.

“If you gon’ beat my ass or somethin’ jus’ get it over with.” He sighed, shutting his eyes tight.

When he felt nothing but raindrops touch his face, he opened his eyes slowly. His heart sank when he did. Franklin was visibly upset, guilt in his eyes.

“Lamar. Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

A wave of déjà vu washed over him. Oh. So that’s what precognition meant. Motherfucking psychic lady.

“You should’ve jus’ told me man.”

“I tried dog. You wouldn’t hear me out.”

“Cuz I.. I thought you got with someone. I didn’t wanna hear it straight from yo mouth if you was.”

He shifted up, Frank sitting in his lap.

“Y’know I always thought that.. Part of me jus’ kinda thought that it’d always be the two of us. I’m never gonna get Tanisha back.. but you..”

Franklin looked away.

“You a crazy ass loyal motherfucker man. You stuck by my side no matter what, and some dumbass part of me was convinced that you… I mean fuck, so many times I thought you would jus’ flat out say something. Somethin’ so I could stop waiting for the one other person I had known forever to just say that they fuckin’ loved me like that.”

Lamar blinked, rainwater getting into his eyes. It wasn’t quite as serene as his dream had been, nor was it verbatim, but Lamar didn’t care. There was something about the way the water droplets sat along Franklin’s face, highlighted by a streetlight behind him that made him look angelic.

“When you started actin’ all weird it jus’.. made me so fuckin’ mad man. I thought you was gon’ pick someone else over me. Jus’ like Tanisha did.”

“Franklin..”

“So why didn’t you jus’ say somethin’ sooner? I waited. Hell, I don’t even know why I did at first.”

“Franklin.”

“But now I’m realizin’ you must not have even noticed yoself what you was feelin’, when I fuckin’ did. I noticed and you didn’t and-”

Lamar grabbed him by the face, grip surprisingly strong after being in the rain.

“How many times do I gotta say yo name for you to hear me?”

The rain kept falling, never slowing for either one of them. Yet, it felt like time stopped. Lamar chuckled lightly.

“Franklin Clinton and Lamar Davis. Two of the dumbest motherfuckers in LS. Homies for life.”

“Yeah. Homies for life.”

His hands never left Franklin’s face. He pressed their foreheads together, lowering his voice.

“I love you, bum ass bitch.”

“Yeah yeah. I love you too.”

He kissed the top of his head, moving his hands down to embrace him in a tight hug. When was the last time they did this? As he thought it over, he could hear Franklin’s voice muffled against his chest.

“Don’t scare me like that again. Next time save us both the trouble n jus’ spill yo heart out. Dramatic motherfucker.”

The words had no malice in them, Lamar feeling him smile as he said it. He kissed him once more, and they just sat in the rain, feeling it bathe them in fond memories.

//plz listen to remember the rain by 21st century it’s so good 💔😭 anyway ya i decided to end it on a sorta happy note !!!!! franklin is a stubborn guy smh,, sorry for any typos lol also i rlly had no idea where i wanted to go with this so sorry if it’s weird or whatever

#grand theft auto 5 #gta v #lamar davis #franklin clinton #franklin/lamar #framar #one sided pining #but with a twist #mutual pining #i told y’all frank was hiding sumn

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lifeofkaze · 3 years

Text

When Stars Ignite - Chapter 8

HPHM Rockstar AU

A/N: Welcome back to Part 2 of the HPHM Rockstar AU! New location, new songs, new drama. Buckle up, we're going for a ride!

General Warning: This whole fic has a general warning of being NSFW / 18+. We will give specific warnings for every chapter in itself, but several adult themes will be more or less present in every chapter, may it be explicitly or in mention. These include sexual topics, drug abuse, (ab)use of alcohol, smoking and a whole lot of cursing.

Specific Warning: Language

~~~

Find the masterpost here, the previous chapter here and the next one here. The songs featured before every chapter can be found on this pretty badass playlist here.

~~~

This work is a collaboration with @the-al-chemist

Taglist: @slytherindisaster @night-rhea @carewyncromwell

You keep on saying you'll be mine for a while

You're looking fancy, and I like your style

You drive us wild, we'll drive you crazy

You keep on shouting, you keep on shouting

I wanna rock and roll all night and party every day

~ Kiss - Rock And Roll All Nite ~

Despite it being her third tour with Equinox now, Lizzie would probably never stop being amazed at the incredible machinery that stood behind every single one of their shows.

Now, two weeks after they had started out in London, their route had seen them through Bristol and on to Birmingham. All the familiar routines had established themselves again as if they hadn’t spent a whole month apart at all. Like cogs in a well tuned machine, everyone was working together in well established patterns to make each show unforgettable for those who came to see them play.

It didn’t matter whether one was part of the tech crew, the management, security or the band themselves; they were all like a big, chaotic but loveable family. Of course, Lizzie couldn’t deny that this time around there was considerably more tension to be felt backstage than she was used to, but fights were something happening even in the best of families; at least, that’s what she was telling herself.

Their soundcheck being over, Lizzie had just left the stage with Skye, waiting for the others to catch up. Even though the roof of the arena they were playing in tonight was still closed, Lizzie could feel a bead of sweat running down her spine.

It had been uncharacteristically hot for weeks now, very unusual for a British summer. Not that she was complaining, Lizzie typically loved everything about the hot weather; but the dampness that it brought with it made it almost unbearable to move, setting everyone’s nerves on edge. Hopefully it would just rain soon and be done with it; there was nothing better to clear the air than a good summer storm.

At least for them, however, the heat of the sun would soon be replaced by the spotlights burning down on them. Even after so many years of playing on stages of every size and format, Lizzie had trouble fighting the nervous feeling spreading from her stomach through her body. She was always the first one to enter the stage, the beat of her drums building up the mood until one after the other of her friends would enter and add their own instruments to the sound. As soon as she started playing she was in her element, every flare of nerves forgotten; but until then, she was stuck feeling like in free fall.

Lizzie reached into the pocket of her shorts, her fingers finding the familiar shape of the red plectrum she was always carrying with her. It had belonged to Orion before it had found its way into her possession; it was one of the plectrums he had used on the first tour they had ever played. Without thinking about it, she drew it out and let it wander through her fingers, a fun little trick Orion had taught her to help channel her focus when her stage fright was setting in.

“What’s that you got there, little rockstar?”

Charlie had finished his work on Merula’s keyboard and joined them at the stage entrance. Lizzie hadn’t noticed him approaching and jumped when he spoke, dropping the plectrum to the ground. Before she could pick it up again, Skye had gotten hold of it, turning it around between her fingers with a confused look.

“That looks familiar,” she mused, examining the colourful piece of plastic. “Is that one of our old plectrums?”

Lizzie tried snatching it from her hands but Skye quickly moved it out of her reach.

“No, it’s not, it’s just a lucky charm.”

She could tell Skye didn’t buy her explanation. “Why would you have one of these?”

Lizzie scowled at her friend as she tried in vain to reach Skye’s hand. “None of your business, Parkin. Give it back.”

Skye made an indignant sound as Charlie jumped to Lizzie’s aid; playing out his advantage in height, he unceremoniously plucked the plectrum from Skye’s fingers and handed it back to Lizzie with a wink. Giving him a grateful look, she let it disappear in the depths of her pockets.

“You’re a real spoilsport, Weasley,” Skye snorted.

“And you’re a nuisance,” Lizzie said in Charlie’s stead.

Charlie shook his head. “Hearing you two talk, I might just believe the rumours about your relationship.”

“I do have standards, you know,” Lizzie rolled her eyes, chuckling at Skye’s sound of protest.

Lizzie’s attention was drawn away from their bickering when she saw Orion and Everett were still standing on stage, engaged in a heated discussion. She stifled a sigh; Everett was still at odds with Orion’s decision to perform the new songs himself. There wasn’t one day he would spare them his complaints. Although Everett had always been a person with a temper, Lizzie couldn’t remember him ever being angry at one of them for so long.

Orion, however, wasn’t responding to Everett’s aggressive demeanour. Ever the calm and collected person, it took a lot more for him to lose his centre; Lizzie wasn’t sure she’d ever seen him anything but level-headed at all. And sure enough, even when Everett left him standing with a dismissive gesture, he only looked after him with a tired expression.

In contrast, Everett’s face was clearly showing his annoyance. He tried to hide it behind his usual sneer when he saw them looking, but the way his shoulders were tensed was speaking volumes. His posture only changed when he walked past where Artemis was still working on her explosives. She was bent deeply over the igniter she was wiring, so concentrated on her task she didn’t even notice Everett coming up behind her.

“A little lower, sweetheart. If you have to mess with our pyros, you might as well give us a proper show.”

Artemis straightened up with a face like thunder. “Go fuck yourself.”

Everett shrugged. “I don’t need to, I have plenty of people willing to do that for me. I can bump you up the queue if you like?”

Rolling her eyes, Artemis gathered up her things and moved to the other side of the stage, as far away from all of them as possible.

“Why can’t he just shut up for a second,” Charlie growled as they watched Everett strut off with a self-satisfied smirk. “I’m making no progress with her whatsoever. I’m still trying to convince her that we’re not all dickheads. Ev’s attitude is definitely not helping.

“Is it still so bad with her?” Lizzie wanted to know.

“Yeah,” Charlie admitted, “I don’t know how to get through to her. She’s a tough nut, that one.”

“Tell me about it,” Lizzie said. “I’ve never met anyone so determined to not be nice to anyone.”

“Surprised there’s people out there not wanting to be your friend?” Merula scoffed as she joined them.

“Actually, I am,” Lizzie said. “I even managed to convince you to be my friend, after all.”

“If you want to call us friends,” Merula snorted, but Lizzie knew she was teasing her.

She chuckled and turned to Charlie. “Do you have any idea why she’s so frosty?”

Charlie shrugged, looking as clueless as they came. “If only I knew. She’s giving me no chance to find out either, as soon as the work’s done, she’s off.”

“Sounds like she needs to get a few drinks in to loosen up,” Skye said. “Probably much easier to handle her then.”

Charlie looked at her incredulously. “You do realise how creepy that sounds, right?”

“Don’t be stupid, you know what I mean,” Skye rolled her eyes, “but seriously, who says no to a free drink and some good company?”

Charlie watched Artemis work her way through the remaining igniters. He didn’t seem convinced by Skye’s suggestion but shrugged anyway. “Might as well give it a shot at this point, but if she bites me, I’ll hold you accountable.”

***

Just like the weather forecast had promised, the temperatures hadn’t dropped one bit until it was time to enter the stage. And even if a cooling breeze would be blowing outside, it would stand no chance of reaching the fired up masses filling up the arena.

Lizzie wasn’t sure where it was warmer, down between the thousands of people singing along to their music, or up with them on stage where the heat of the spotlights made her wish for a cold shower.

They were already halfway through the setlist and as always, time seemed to be racing by.

Their fans were fantastic tonight as well; the arena was sold out up to the last seat and the crowd was incredibly enthusiastic. They were reacting to every prompt they were given, whether it was a challenge to cheer louder, sing along or clap to the beat. It was shows like these that reminded Lizzie time and time again that she had the best job in the world.

Everett was giving a stellar performance tonight; he had the whole stadium wrapped around his little finger like only he could, and the fans were cheering him on as he stepped back from the microphone to join the sound of his guitar with the rest of them.

Lizzie turned her head to Orion, who was already waiting for her to give him his cue. She counted down the remaining beats in her head before she gave him a nod. When he turned his attention from her and began playing his solo part, Lizzie couldn’t help but grin. The people were screaming themselves into a frenzy as Orion worked his magic on his guitar.

He never planned what he was going to do beforehand, not one solo the same as the day before. His brow was furrowed in concentration and his lips ever so slightly parted as his fingers flew up and down the neck of the guitar. In moments like these, everything else faded into the background for him; there was nothing left but him and his music.

As Lizzie watched his fingers dance with dizzying speed, her flushed skin burned at the memory of what other magic they were able to do. The thought almost made her miss a beat.

Almost.

She caught herself at the last moment before anyone could notice. She was glad everyone else was too busy to see the blush spreading on her face. But even if they had, they would never have suspected that it didn’t come from the incredibly high temperatures, but something else entirely.

The song ended with a bang, Lizzie hitting two cymbals and the bass drum at the same as KC let all the spotlights flare up. Almost blinded by the brightness flooding the stage, Lizzie closed her eyes and dipped her head back, breathing heavily. For a fraction of a second, the fading sound of the music was still hanging in the air, everyone holding their breaths, before it gave way to the cheers erupting from the crowd.

Lizzie smiled to herself, waiting for her racing heart to slow, before setting her mind onto the rhythm of the next song. The crowd was still cheering and she waited a moment longer until everyone was ready and Orion had stepped behind his own microphone. The next song was one of the unpublished ones and even two weeks after striking their deal with the label, Orion hadn’t let Everett sing one single verse of them.

Lizzie took a deep breath and set the rhythm by hitting her drumsticks against each other a few times. Luckily, it was one of the slower songs so they all had the chance to calm down a little. Orion’s melodic voice carried into the vast space of the stadium over the hushed crowd and Lizzie felt a shiver run down her spine; she had loved this song from the first time Orion had let her hear it.

The crowd seemed to share her opinion; many had taken out their phones and lit the screens, waving them through the darkness in what was looking like a sea of stars. It wasn’t quite the same sight as it had been when lighters had still been allowed in the auditoriums, but Lizzie was loving the sight nonetheless.

All of the new songs they had played so far had been very well received. They made sure to switch them every night so no one got too overexposed, but whatever ones Orion chose, they were always met with great enthusiasm.

The only unrecorded song they were playing night after night was, much to everyone’s surprise, not one of Orion’s creations. Even after Orion had given his consent, Everett hadn’t stopped pestering Ethan until he had agreed to give a few of Everett’s songs a shot. Most of them weren’t nearly as well liked as the ones Orion hadn’t even finished yet, but there was one song that had instantly become so popular with their fans that Ethan had decided to make it a permanent addition to the set list for the rest of the tour.

Everett had revelled in his triumph over Orion; at least that’s how he saw it. And Lizzie had to admit that it really was a catchy melody. But much to Everett’s dismay, whenever Orion picked up his guitar and did what he did best, all eyes were on him, and him alone. He was pouring his heart and soul into the music he played, and people could tell. Like the Pied Piper, he commanded everyone’s attention without even trying to.

That was probably what angered Everett most; the fact that Orion wasn’t even trying.

Even now, Everett was scowling darkly at Orion as he was singing the song in Everett’s stead. Lizzie tried to concentrate on keeping a steady beat, but her eyes were drawn back to their frontman’s menacing expression.

She couldn’t help the feeling that a storm was coming.

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