#the only reason i can't make him a changeling is because i want his connection to the feywild to be more deliberate | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aquarius-cookie-jar · 9 months

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So about that Cookie Run MLP au

(click to see the clearer pictures.)

I've basically tried to come up with lore and stuff. If you can't read what's on the images, don't worry, I'll expand more on my thoughts here:

(side-note, it's gonna be a long one)

White Lily Cookie

Before I talk about her, here's some random changeling lore I made up. Woodland changelings are the ones who feed on the love of other creatures by draining it from them. Basically the more hostile, fae-esque creatures. Prismatic changelings are those who don't drain love from others, but instead feed on love through mutual sharing with one another. My goal with them is to make them sorta like faeries. Yanno, the baby snatcher ones vs the nice disney-esque ones. They can transform into either one if say, they're able to form a strong bond with someone else or if they lack a strong connection and have no one to share love with.

Btw, this isn't related to mlp canon, it's just something I made up.

So anyway, White Lily was a young woodland changeling who, while she didn't (often) drain love from other people, she was still pretty lonely and ostrisized by her peers (probably due to her lily scent). She transforms into a prismatic changeling after making a strong bond with Pure Vanilla, who declared how he'll always care for her, changeling (either form) or not.

Ngl, I'm not that happy with her woodland form, mainly because it just feels less changeling-like. I based her off Queen Chrysalis, but still, the only reason I have for this, is that, she's like a queen bee. She's just born that way. She just never took the throne like the rest of her friends.

In her younger years, White Lily often transformed into a pony disguise (even after meeting PV and leaving the academy) because she still felt like it was necessary. Girl was bullied in her tweens, leave her be. (Also, by now, she's become a prismatic changeling.) Eventually, she did drop her disguise, and was relieved to know the other 3 didn't hate her. Dark Cacao even commented about how he prefers her true form.

Her soul-jam form is basically her just becoming more queen bee like, (similar to how Queen Chrysalis was bigger and taller compared to the rest of the hive. She's the queen!)

Pure Vanilla Cookie

Not much to say other than he was a unicorn who became an alicorn as the years passed and he gained his soul jam.

I dunno if I wanted his magic to be blue or yellow. I think I prefer yellow, but his soul jam is blue, and I wanted it to sorta match. Hmm.

He also has terrible eyesight, and relies on his staff to see. However, the drawside to this is that what the staff sees, is what he sees. And boy, his staff can be a bit sassy sometimes, rolling its eye and glancing down at him to judge him at times. It was especially so in his younger years. But he's comfortable with or without the staff's sight. I should mention, he does get to decide if he wants to see what his staff sees or not.

Btw, if this take is seen as ablelist in any shape or way, please let me know, and I will correct it if it is. The whole 'staff sees for PV' is a popular headcanon which I just roll with, but if it makes people uncomfortable, I understand and will revise it.

Hollyberry Cookie

Not much to say other than she was an earth pony who gained wings, magic, and super strength.

Compared to the others, she rarely ever uses her magic/wings unless absolutely needed to. It just feels quite off for her, yanno? Though, she does take advantage of her enhanced strength, agility, and stamina.

Out of everyone, she took the longest to figure out how to fly, not because she was scared, but because it felt very off to control these brand new appendages that just appear on your back whenever you use the souljam's magic to the fullest.

Her design is the most straight-forward out of everyone tbh.

Dark Cacao Cookie

He's a kirin, which are basically dragon-like ponies, and I headcanon him to be part dragon, so it works out.

For his Nirik form, I drew inspiration for how berserk Cacao looked, all whispy and spirit-like.

I was debating on whether or not I wanted to give him wings, but in the end, I realized that it would make his design feel too cluttered. So instead, I drew inspiration from east asian dragons, and how they don't need wings to fly. Dark Cacao can summon clouds and gallop across the winds instead, which I think looks really cool.

Kirin's are depicted with this lion's mane, but I didn't feel like it would fit Cacao, mainly because he's got a lot going on at this point (the armor, for one) and idk, I just couldn't fit it, unless I redesign his entire wardrobe, which I don't want to do.

About the White Lily thing I mentioned earlier, I said how Cacao prefers seeing Lily as a changeling, rather than in a disguise, because (at the time) he thought he was the only non-pony creature on the team, and it was reassuring to him that he wasn't the odd one out. Golden Cheese was the last one to officially join the band.

Golden Cheese Cookie

Head of a pony, body of a lion, wings like a hawk's. Yep, she's a sphinx.

I know she looks more cat-like here, but idk, I just really liked it, so I stuck with it.

Out of everyone, she was the one who had the most trouble with magic, mainly because she's kinda the most scatterbrained. But once she got the hang of it, she really liked using it.

Can I just say, she's definitely the most elegant looking one out of the bunch, and I'm glad that I was able to translate it well. (Or at least, I think I was.)

That took a lot longer than expected. But hey, this au is just for fun.

#cookie run kingdom #cookie run #dark cacao cookie #white lily cookie #cookie run kingdom fanart #my little cookies #pure vanilla cookie #pony town #golden cheese cookie #hollyberry cookie #mlp au #🌌🖌️#🌌📝#this all started in pony town #then immediately spiraled into this #lol

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changeling-pr-department · 1 year

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I think it's cute how the ponies of worlds like yours just accept that a changeling who has adopted a new colorful "base form" is now more trustworthy than when they had black "skin" and fangs.

Has it not occurred to them that the hive saw your son do it and just decided to copy his transformation with variants of their own?

My... feelings on this are... complicated.

Ponies are idiots, but they aren't making an entirely unfounded decision. They trust my children more now not only because they're... colorful, but because they aren't hungry. Hunger is dangerous. I know this better than any creature alive.

That said, the average pony absolutely trusts them now because they look familiar. I've heard how those who refused to "reform" were treated, both by my traitor of a son, and by the ponies foolish enough to ally with him. There's a reason I've been considering how to convert a portion of the population into more changelings. I want to expose exactly how shallow their acceptance is.

...

I have spent a significant amount of time considering whether the "reformed" are changelings at all. They have lost our most defining characteristic; surely that can't mean nothing.

I have yet to reach a conclusion that I'm certain of. But they are still my offspring, and I am still connected to them. So it doesn't seem like whatever twisted mockery of fate is making the decisions wishes to leave me much of a choice.

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wetbloodworm · 1 year

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i made some family trees for my rescueverse kids using this website! just some of them, like tolys has two brothers but that's the extent of that tree that i've got sorted out w/ no other interesting familial connections to other characters.

edit: the order of the pics gets fucked up on my blog, sorry about that! put '[pic #]' under reach space one of the pics is supposed to be among the text

you have to have a person selected so there's a bold-outlined person in each of these screenshots, which is either done at random or to show the maximum amount of people. also i manually made the nonbinary characters' blocks purple BUT the website does allow for nonbinary family members! those blocks are just white and i thought that was boring. grayed out names indicate deceased family members, thicker lines connecting couples indicate an existing relationship while thinner lines indicate exes.

[pic one]

starting off with the kotovs! this is the only one containing named grandparents because Lubov is at her base loosely inspired by 1P nyo general winter, so she gets to be there. technically all my russian grandfathers are named at least b/c i've got everyone's patronymics sorted out but god that would've gotten messy.

i tried to keep siblings in order of age but that didn't always work out. maxim IS older than konstantin, but yevgeny is older than asya. there was an option to add birthdays so i'm not sure if that would've shuffled things around but i didn't have the patience for that so it's FINE.

i'm not fully set on zhana and tanya being only children, though they are right now. i've thought about sergey having more cousins on his mom's side of the family before but hm. i don't know.

this tree also gets totally fucked in fallen au because of what i've done to asya's parent situation. here's the fallen au family tree below

[pic two]

why did i do this to myself. like i love asya's story in fallen and how she has to work on healing her personal relationship with being a changeling but god why did i do this to myself. had to edit this in CSP to get the full tree to show.

debated over making yevgeny maxim's son still in this au or making him [bio dad]'s son; i've drawn him as a changeling before but like is that really a good enough reason to scooch him around. really there's no good reason for any of this, and asya hasn't addressed having a half-brother in fallen, so i finally decided to leave him on the changeling side of the family. THEN i debated making asya and yevgeny full siblings instead of half siblings but. no. i've fucked up things enough as it is.

no idea what sergey's family's surname is in fallen. it can't be kotov/kotova because that'd make no sense. maybe i just make it lebedev/lebedeva and just make it so zhana kept [bio dad]'s surname. i don't know. i don't know!

WHY DID I DO THIS TO MYSELF!!!

[pic three]

ANYWAY the orlovskys! the lighter line connecting ivan to the belyakovs indicates they're his foster parents, with the rest of that family not showing in this screen. i tried to edit the two trees together but i don't think it was super clear. ivan had a lot of foster families but the belyakovs were the ones he was the closest to, so it felt important to include them in his tree. avdotya and kseniya had some foster families as well, of course, but i haven't thought on them much beyond the fact that the kids didn't stay connected with any of them.

i wanted to include the bryants, another family crucial to ivan's development/backstory, but they only let you add a secondary set of parents, no more. alas. the bryants actually adopt him in at least one AU (doctor horrible au) so i feel bad not having them on here but alas!!

alyona and nikolay being only children is canon, and both of their parents predeceased them. the orlovsky kids didn't have any living relatives after the house fire, aside from each other.

[pic four]

and then the belyakovs! again, they had several foster kids over the years, but ivan's the only one that reconnected later on in life and stuck around after that, so he gets to be in the tree. he's got complicated feelings about considering himself part of this family tbh but he's ON THE TREE.

idk if klara and ilya are only children, so there might be cousins out there i haven't sorted out. if i do come up with them i'll update this post, but for now it's just them. my parents have three siblings each and i've got uhhh i think. eleven cousins i think? so these trees seem way too small compared to my frame of reference. which is why i'm overthinking the aunts/uncles thing a bit. it's fine. it's fine

[pic five]

finally, the o'lorcains! and the gibsons i guess. lyle has a surname now.

considered marking eamon as deceased but i think he's only dead in gta au. as a kindness to cian i'm making the decision that eamon's only dead in gta au.

it's an in-joke in this family that after madigan and erin, it's just all boys all the way down. madigan has four sons, erin has one son, shea has two sons. they thought grant broke the streak at first but then lyle came out and order was restored.

lyle is technically cian's first cousin once removed but cian just refers to him as his nephew. i think that's not uncommon for that familial connection? doesn't matter, that's his nephew.

i think flynn might also be married but i know he doesn't have any kids yet so i'm not too pressed to name his spouse. eamon's a mystery to me.

cian's tree can also get fucked up a bit depending on the AU, since there are AUs where arthur is his brother. i don't know how that works out with [gestures at tree] all this but oh well.

okay i stayed up too late doing this, goodnight

#reference tag #i'm not naming all these kids

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blood-bound · 1 year

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(gehenna-calling) ok then. let’s have the song from mark & sampson’s playlist that you are Most Normal About

at first i struggled w this ask and then i saw u specified the Mark And Sampson playlist and not the Mark playlist. so. easy wins.

See I'm so normal about this because it is literally about them? Like IDk why this band The National wrote a song for mark and Sampson like tbh thats so insane. for them. I'm normal about it though. I've ranted about this song before but the lyrics are literally just so perfect OKAY??? It can be interpreted from both Mark's perspective and Sampson's. even the ST said this is the best fitting song on their playlist.

Every time you get a drink And every time you go to sleep Are those dreams inside your head? Is that sunlight on your bed?

From Mark's perspective, abt sampson: Sampson seems to drink a lot, which is fair because of the horrors. He wonder's if its unhealthy but is too distant/nervous to really ask. Not sure if it's his place, you know? As for the dreams - lots of context is required to properly understand this but in short Sampson is worried about a changling invading his dreams to the point where he basically insisted mark get him a bed that is warded to protect against that. Mark wonders what sampson dreams about to make him feel that strongly about it.

from Sampsons perspective, so about Mark: Drinking here is about blood. It's harder for me to go into sampsons perspective cause he aint my character so idk everything, but i can def imagine that Sampson wonders how the changeling is fucking with Mark's dreams (because mark is a kindred he can no longer remember his dreams cause its like hes dead but according to the changeling he still has them). I'll interpret the sunlight bit as being worried about mark being ok.

Every time you're driving home Way outside your safety zone Wherever you will ever be You're never getting rid of me

From Mark's perspective about Sampson: Mark knows Sampson is really concerned about being safe and anytime he leaves his home he knows on some level he must be scared. When he interacts with kindred it's always pretty scary for Sampson. And then of course. The bit about not being able to get rid of him. Mark knows that with the ghoul thing he's kind of dependent on Mark and. he doesn't like that. But yea wherever Sampson goes Mark is with him in the sense that vampires and ghouls would know of their connection and there's no gettin rid of that! and he can't flee. And also Mark really needs sampson for reasons of humanity too - he is a touchstone.

From Sampsons perspective about Mark (and also Just about Mark even if Sampson doesn;t think abt it cause again idk all of sampsons thoughts or many of them): Mark put himself in danger soooo mcuh in order to get territory during open warefare w the Sabbat and . idk how much Sampson knows this but mark wanting a safe place / power was very influenced by wanting to protect sampson. not the only reason but a big one. And. again. being his ghoul. makes the last line work. ough.

[Chorus] You own me There's nothing you can do You own me

So self explanatory. Mark has to be Sampson's domintor because of how fucked up the Camarilla in Detroit is. So even if he doesn't act on it its . kind of a fact that he does. and from mark's side of it he would bascially do anything for sampson out of a WONDERFUL DELICOIUS ANGSTY COMBO of guilt, love, possessiveness, and a desire to stay in touch w his humanity.

[Verse 3] You could've made a safer bet But what you break is what you get You wake up in the bed you make I think you made a big mistake

Their relationship was def broke by other things but Mark has fucked it up more with the blood bond and the changeling contract. But its the situation and they live w it every day. The Big Mistake is def the changeling contract.

IDK if sampson feels this way but having sampson is def a risk for Mark - a person who can be easily used as leverage over him. Not a very safe thing. But he didn't really get a choice.

[Chorus] You own me There's nothing you can do You own me You own me Lucky you You own me There's nothing you can do

Same stuff as before but i want 2 add that i could totally see sampson word for word saying sarcastically "You own me, lucky you" hhhh

[Bridge] You clean yourself to meet A man who isn't me You're putting on a shirt A shirt I'll never see The letter's in your coat And no one's in your head 'Cause you're too smart to remember You're too smart

Lucky you Lucky you Lucky you

Deep fucking breath. OKAY. OKAY. So this fits but. I have to explain.

The first four lines. are about Mark. From Sampson's perspective. Meeting with his sire. He puts on a bit of an act not in a lying way but in the way that he wants his sire to be proud of him and happy about what he's done. And Mark tries to keep Sampson as far away from his sire as possible.

The next part. Is about Sampson from Mark's perspective. Mark has someone in his head - his sire Julius - but Sampson doesn't. And Sampson has memory problems. which is really sad but it in a way it's safer and smart to not know.

but again a sarcastic lucky you cause like. its really sad how bad his memory problems are.

Ok i analyzied the hwole song and theres more i could say but this is enough. for you to see. that it is so normal that im obsessed wiht it. <3 thank you

#mark vtm oc #OASDJFIASLJFDS

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author-a-holmes · 2 years

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MC Prior Relationship History Tag Game

Thanks and Kudos to @mjjune for the fun new tag game!

The Rules

The idea is to briefly (or not) describe what kinds of intimate relationships (platonic, romantic, sexual, or otherwise) your MCs have had PRIOR TO THE BOOK STARTING. Have they had their hearts ripped out before jumping into your fluffy romance? Are they aro/ace and have never been in a long-term relationship before? I WANNA KNOW...

And thank you for the tag, @faelanvance . I actually really love this whole concept, and you've given me a great opportunity to talk about character backstory... sooo, I'm going to do a few posts covering a couple of characters at a time.

I'll schedule the posts over the next few weeks.

For now, I'm gonna do this one on Lizzy Hail and Booker Reed.

For context, the fey society is very free with their physical relationships, but incredibly shut down towards emotional relationships.

This is because fey can die from a broken heart. So physicality between people is seen as something fun, and enjoyable, and pleasurable, but they put no more weight on it than going out for a meal with a friend, or going to the cinema at the weekend.

For fey, it's the emotional side of a relationship that holds weight, and importance, and relevance.

With that in mind, prior to the start of Changeling...

Lizzy

Lizzy has had no romantic or sexual partners prior to the start of Changeling.

Her lack of wings means that she's seen as strange, and other, and most people avoid her, at best. Booker is her only friend, and they're more like siblings.

Lizzy would say that it's not something she's interested in, but way down deep, (pushed beneath the years of hurt), companionship, trust, and affection, is something Lizzy really craves. It's not something she's ever likely to find in Arbaon, however, as she feels a need to know and trust someone, before she could open herself up emotionally, or physically.

The casualy nature of fey physical relationships makes her desire for connection something else that's othering.

She doesn't begrudge Booker his liasons, but she also can't understand how he, or any of the fey, let someone that physically close, when they don't know or trust a partner emotionally.

Booker

Booker has had two or three sexual relationships prior to the start of Changeling, but due to his friendship with Lizzy, he's an outcast by association.

That doesn't stop him from flirting with everyone, just to see how far they'll go. He's fully aware most, if not all, of his encounters have been fuelled by their curiosity about his connection to Lizzy, but he keeps Lizzy protected and the moment any sexual partner begins to question him about her, he drops them.

As for an emotional relationship, it's something Booker actively shies away from, more than most fey. While all fey know they can die from a broken heart, and tend to avoid emotional connections for this reason, Booker has experianced the process of dying from a broken heart before.

When his parents died, he was left to spiral into his grief, and it was only Lizzy's mum, Madeline, who saved him. He has no desire to experiance than again, and so the moment any kind of emotional softening happens towards someone, his instinct is to run.

It took a long time for him to accept Lizzy as a friend, letting anyone else in deeper than that is always going to be a challenge for Booker.

***

Tagging forward, with no pressure, to; @blind-the-winds @athena-anna-rose @afoolandathief and @queen-kass-the-writer

Also anyone else who wants to grab it and join in (But tag me so I can see please! <3)

#Prior Relationship History Tag Game #Writeblr #Writeblr Community #Writeblr Tag Game #Tag Game #Writing #Writing Community #Writing Tag Game #Original Characters #Worldbuilding #Character Backstory #Lizzy Hail #Booker Reed #Lila Isabelle Hail #Changeling #Ari Speaks #Arista Speaks #Ari Writes #Arista Writes

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artsy-hobbitses · 2 years

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Since TFA didn't get far enough for us to know how Isaac got the protoform that would become Sari, I'm curious to know how he did so in TTB.

I imagine it was a part Astro Boy, part Battle Angel Alita situation.

Sari was made based on the Primes' wartime accounts of Rung. Her creation was likely funded by Zeta, who wanted to see if Rung's gifts (nannite-based shapeshifting, vast technological inter-connectivity, the ability to self-learn based on data derived from recorded memories) could be wholly translated to AI assets which could be mass-produced.

Isaac had lost his daughter recently and was lured by Zeta's promise of being able to bring his daughter back to life using her DNA and the technology for Cold Constructs---however, it could not be legally done where he was (India), therefore he went to the USA

One of her first bits of 'protoform' programming was to be able camouflage herself/make herself appear innocuous depending on the people she comes into contact with. She imprints on them and does a base scan to take on a form that would be most beneficial to her survival among them. Kind of like a cuckoo, but if the chick itself is doing the I'm in your nest pretending to be one of you scthick. Basically, she's the nightmare changeling you hear about in legend, but she has never used this ability except for once;

Isaac was the main scientist working on her creation and sometimes he would talk to her, just casual chatter whenever he was the only person left behind to run diagnostics on her. He was still grieving at that time, so it felt good to talk to someone about that grief and the reason he was here without being judged for it (what did a protoform care that he basically wanted to fight god and bring his kid back in a method banned over several countries?). Because he was the main person who interacted with her and who seemed to have her well-being in mind (as compared to Zeta, who only asked questions about her progress and other scientists who only spoke about her in terms of data), she imprinted on him, but not in the way Zeta or he expected---on a night which was rough for him emotionally, and she tried to break out of her containment unit to help 'fix' her creator who seemed to be 'broken inside'. (At this point, she resembled a smaller version of true-form Rung, metallic plates and tiny tentacles and all). When he picked her up, she immediately imprinted on him and took on the form of his deceased daughter---her little AI brain figured that he was sad because he 'lost' his daughter and he always said he wished to see her again, and she wanted to make him happy.

Except oops he's horrified and chucks her back into her containment unit, calls in sick the next couple of days and reflects on what the fuck he's actually doing here.

The question only gets louder when he does eventually come back to work, and on another late night, she (having reverted back to her original form after seeing how badly she affected him) managed to talk to him via binary to say she was sorry she made him mad, and to ask what she did wrong. It dawns on him that the AI asset/weapon Zeta is asking for sounds like a child and thinks like a child (because of the 'natural learning' programming) and he's made one to give away to be weaponized by a government in return for his own, and suddenly that feels like a very shit deal.

Zeta (who does not know of this incident) noticed that he's been acting odd around the Project recently, and Isaac is aware that he's sus af right now and can't do anything drastic. He does, however, call an old politician friend for help ie. Senator Sharifuddin Waseem/Shockwave, who shares his same interest in robotics (and graduated from the same university).

Sharif is able to secretly arrange transportation for him, but he needs to figure out a way to sneak the Project out without being noticed, so he makes a decoy to put in her place and then asks her to do what she did before (but a little different, because carting around a person known to be dead won't help his case), dresses her up and brings her out, passing her off as a visiting family member.

It's morning before anyone notices something's off at the office and he's not picking up phonecalls while he's on a private chartered flight headed for Sharif's secret Institute which would provide him and the Project sanctuary while the situation with Zeta's labs blows over.

It's around this time that he realises that the Project has imprinted on him not as a host/for survival, but like a child to a parent figure, so he decides he's going to adopt her and raise her as a person, not a potential weapon, and names her Sarita 'Sari', amalgamated from the name of his deceased daughter, Sitara.

Because she was brought out of the experimentation phase early (and he does not want to continue experimenting on her), her abilities, while considerable, do not (as of yet, she's still 'growing') match Rung's and she doesn't actually know about them or use them, because Isaac raises her as his child and doesn't tell her about them, figuring that they would be better kept in dormancy. She does sometimes ask him why he created her (initially she thinks all kids come out this way), he doesn't really give her a straight answer (in truth he can only extrapolate because Zeta was never honest with what exactly the plans were for her at that stage, except that she would be a 'government asset' and he's seen what those do) but tells her she's loved regardless of the reasons that brought her into this world.

#inbox #save for later

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ameerawritesstuff · 6 years

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I can't decide! 51 through 54 struck me h a r d. If you wanted to do any of them that would be amazing. 51: “ I want to take care of you. ” 52: “ Can we cuddle? ” 53: “ It’s lonely here without you. ” 54: “ I can’t stand the thought of loosing you. ”

I DID THEM ALL BECAUSE YES

51 “I Want To Take Care of You”

“I want to take care of you.” When Garak said that, Julian was sure he was joking. “Therefore, I volunteered for the job.”

“What job?” Julian asked in tired confusion. He had just woken up to Garak in his quarters (again) and now the Cardassian was going on about taking care of him?

“The Senior Staff of this station has reached the consensus that you need to take a break from work.” Garak said happily. “I said I would be happy to ensure you rest.”

“You’re joking.” Julian laughed. When Garak’s face didn’t change, Julian’s eyes grew wide. “You’re serious?!”

“Yes, doctor.” Garak smiled.

“You’re telling me Commander Sisko asked you to…” Julian shook his head. “I don’t even know what to call this.”

“It was really Commander Dax and Chief O’Brien who felt there was a need.” Garak admitted. “And, again, no one asked me. I volunteered.”

“I don’t need a babysitter.” Julian frowned.

“You were imprisoned for a month, replaced by a changeling, and then had your most closely-guarded secret revealed to the world.” Garak challenged. “Not to mention, your father was just sent to prison. You’ve been advised to take some time off, but you haven’t.”

“So now you’re going to ensure I do nothing productive?” Julian groaned.

“I’m going to ensure that you actually relax for once.” Garak said as he moved to the side of Julian’s bed. “Now, what can I do for you.”

“I don’t suppose you can simply leave me alone?” Julian sighed. “But, honestly, Garak, this is unnecessary.”

“Humor me then.” Garak smiled and he sat down on the edge of the bed. “I’ll admit that this is for my own good as well as yours.” Julian looked at Garak in confusion and the Cardassian looked regretful. “I should have taken care of you earlier, so I’m trying to make up for how greatly I’ve failed you.”

“You saved us all from the prison camp.” Julian said. “It’s not your fault that you didn’t know about the changeling. You came when I needed you and you saved me.” He tried to soothe Garak with a warm smile, but Garak simply looked away.

“It’s not just that.” Garak whispered. “I should have stopped Zimmerman.” Garak gave Julian a pained expression. “I should have protected you.”

“You didn’t know I needed protecting.” Julian chuckled, not really understanding.

“But I should have.” Garak said. “You are very dear to me, and yet I have failed you again and again.” Julian found himself placing his hand on top of Garak’s.

“Garak, you have never failed me.” Julian said firmly. “You say I’m dear to you, that’s all I’ve wanted.” Garak looked deep into Julian’s eyes and Julian could feel the two of them closing the gap between them. It was slow and subtle, but Julian felt the electricity in the air before a kiss.

“Well, I can still take care of you now.” Garak said quickly as he stood up, stopping their lips from every touching. “Wait right here and I’ll prepare breakfast for you.” Julian was left alone in bed, blinking in confusion as he wondered what just happened?

52 “Can We Cuddle?”

“Can we cuddle?” Julian asked as if he was more desperate than he was. “To huddle for warmth, I mean.” He was only a bit chilly himself, nothing too uncomfortable, but he knew Garak must be freezing and was too prideful to ask.

“That would probably be prudent.” Garak nodded stiffly, clearly trying to keep himself from shivering. Julian walked over to the cot in their crashed runabout and motioned for Garak to lie down first.

“Don’t fight me on this,” Julian began once he was lying on top of Garak. “But I’m going to ask you to take off the survival jacket.” Garak gave Julian a horrified look. “Just so we can both use it as a blanket! It will keep us both warmer that way in the long run.” Garak frowned but awkwardly moved himself out of the jacket and then quickly draped it over the two of them.

“That’s better.” Julian smiled as he lay his head on Garak’s chest. “Are you tired? We can try to go to sleep if you’d like.”

“There is no way I will be able to sleep when it’s this c-c-cold.” Garak looked angry at himself for letting his teeth chatter.

“Good, because I’m wide awake myself.” Julian smiled, trying his best to make Garak feel better. “You know, I never got to tell you my thoughts on He Falters.” It had been a Cardassian play that Garak had recommended to Julian a little while ago, but they hadn’t had the chance to discuss it.

“A cautionary tale.” Garak nodded.

“A tragedy.” Julian clarified. “Dronar is ultimately punished for sacrificing so much for his wife.” Garak let out the long suffering sigh he always let out when he was about to correct Julian. Julian rather liked feeling it from Garak’s chest.

“Dronar is punished for lying.” Garak shook his head. “He should have reported his wife as insane when she first started to go mad.”

“She would have been disowned by her father!” Julian argued. “Her father’s approval meant everything to her.”

“So you viewed his defense of her as sentimental…” Garak chuckled. “My dear, he only wants to keep the connection to his father-in-law due to the man’s status.”

“That was an element.” Julian conceded. “But by the end when Dronar is arrested, he would have been released if he’d revealed her madness necessitating him stealing the medicine.”

“It still would have been stealing.” Garak scoffed.

“No room for compassion in the Cardassian heart?” Julian smirked.

“None.” Garak said stoically.

“That means you’re not cuddling with me now because I asked.” Julian challenged. “If you’re truly self-serving, you just admitted that you’re doing this for your own benefit.”

“It’s no secret that I’m cold.” Garak scowled. “And since we can’t be rescued until after the storm passes, I’m doing my best to survive.”

“But it was my suggestion.” Julian countered with a smirk. “You were too proud to ask despite having the greater need. So if everything you do is without compassion, that means you had a selfish motivation for remaining cold as well.” Julian sighed and clicked his tongue. “Now, what could that reason be?”

“Don’t forget that we Cardassians are also naturally xenophobic.” Garak said with amusement. “Perhaps the idea of letting a Human be so close to me is just too repulsive.”

“Even though my being Human means I’m a better heat source?”

“While the heat is lovely, there’s still a certain mammalian stench that…” Garak inhaled deeply and shook his head. “Frankly, is unmistakable.”

“Unmistakable doesn’t mean unpleasant.” Julian grinned. He then noticed he could hear how fast Garak’s heartbeat was as he lay there on his chest. He glanced at Garak’s face and saw that his scales had changed color ever so slightly to a pale blue. Julian blinked in surprise and then smirked. “Garak… are you aroused right now?”

“Really, doctor!” Garak said as if he were horribly offended. Still, he didn’t deny it.

“You are, aren’t you!” Julian accused with laughter.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Garak said, looking a bit miffed.

“Garak, it’s alright.” Julian said softly as he raised his hand to Garak’s cheek. Garak’s eyes were wide with surprise as Julian pulled him into a kiss. “We have to do something to pass the time, right?” Julian purred.

“Hmm?” Garak’s eyes had slipped closed and his scales had flushed a dark shade almost like charcoal.

“After all, you said you couldn’t sleep.” Julian continued as he moved his hand down Garak’s chest.

“I suppose we might as well.” Garak breathed as he moved his own hand down Julian’s back. The frigid air of the shuttle was all but forgotten.

53 “It’s Lonely Here Without You”

My Dear Garak,

It’s lonely here without you. Without everyone. I was lonely before Ezri left, to tell the truth, but it solidified how much I was using her to fill the void.

Nerys and I get drinks and reminisce about old times at Quark’s. It ends up making me more depressed somehow. I’ve been trying to spend more time with Jake as well; I can’t imagine the pain he’s going through. Kassidy is great for him, and I think her pregnancy gives him a nice distraction that makes him feel closer to his father, but it’s clear he’s hurting.

I’m not trying to burden you with my woes, you certainly have enough of your own as you rebuild. I’m just trying to say that you’re missed and if you ever have reason to visit, well, I’d be more than delighted to see you.

Miles actually was here last week for a few days. He said it was to help his replacement get used to this “Cardie Bastard” but I think he secretly missed DS9. We played darts and a few holoprograms but it actually didn’t feel like enough.

What I’m trying to say is that I miss you, Garak. I would even if everyone else was still here. I hardly go to the replimat anymore since it feels wrong to eat there without you. How pathetic is that? I’ve turned one of the most generic parts of the station into “our place.” I even reread The Never-Ending Sacrifice, I’ve been thinking about you so much. I still find it to be one of the most tedious things I’ve ever read, but I enjoyed imagining your criticisms of my thoughts.

I don’t know what I’m trying to say exactly. Please write back?

Always,

Julian Bashir

54 “I Can’t Stand The Thought of Losing You”

“I can’t stand the thought of losing you.” Julian smiled as he stroked Garak’s hair. “Now that we’re finally together, I don’t ever want to leave this bed.”

“Fear of losing you is what motivated this in the first place.” Garak smiled back. “When the Defiant went off to find the Founders… it seemed as if you wouldn’t come back at first.”

“But I did.” Julian reminded and then lay a soft kiss on Garak’s cheek. “And you were here to greet me.” Julian bit his lip. “And the Founders are willing to negotiate, so everything worked out.”

“You really think it’s going to be that easy?” Garak frowned. “I don’t trust those violet eyed tyrants and you shouldn’t either.”

“I never said I trusted them.” Julian protested. “I just don’t want a war and it seems like they don’t either.”

“And how much are you willing to sacrifice in order to prevent a war?” Garak pressed.

“Do we have to talk about this?” Julian whined. “We’re finally together and all you want to talk about is our impending doom?”

“I never said ‘impending doom’.” Garak countered. “But it’s interesting that you did.”

“I don’t know what’s going to happen.” Julian sighed. “But I do know, without a doubt, that we’ll face whatever it is together and I’m not going to leave your side.” They kissed after he made that promise. A promise Julian would have kept even after Garak lay their lifeless on the floor, if Commander Sisko hadn’t pulled him away.

When Julian woke up from the simulation, all he could think about was Garak.

#star trek ds9 #Garak/Bashir #garak x bashir #garashir #prompted writing #fanfic #fanfiction #fic

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