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#the journalist and his gaffer
poemega · 10 months
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Shout out to Trent Crimm, The Independent
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itsclydebitches · 1 year
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Trent went from being a bully journalist trying to live up to his father's expectations (if we read the show through Lance's backstory), all buttoned up with the armor of professionalism as he tried unsuccessfully to break the new gaffer with embarrassment and shame, to a member of the club himself - not a footballer, but finding his own niche by writing something "deeper" - unguarded in just a t-shirt after a fun night out where he was able to completely be himself with someone who understands the struggle of being a closeted queer man, basking in that acceptance and camaraderie as he sings with the BIGGEST SMILE ON HIS FACE I'M
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listen maybe this is just because i've always been a slut for pov outsider fics anyway but i desperately want some on our dork trent crimm. like. the character development??? his softness and dorkification???? i need someone to be like just. what do people think about this. like whether it's a random richmond player, a random reporter trent worked with, someone from trent's personal life, another rando in the sports field who's used to trent crimm, the independent, ruthless reporter, or whoever, just. random people watching trent crimm go from "ah yeah that asshole reporter who specifically has a reputation for being a ruthless cutting bitch" to "openly excitable dork who clearly cares so goddamn much and is visibly softer and has he just secretly always been like this??"
it would probably have to be someone who's close enough to him or richmond now to like, be able to see the change, but i just. am obsessed with this. and that's not even getting into considering the angles of his possible ex-wife/divorce + if non-audience-members can tell he's madly in love with ted or not, because i'm not sure if it's funnier if they're like "trent crimm is a huge dork now and we have no idea why????? i guess this is just the lasso effect fucking bending reality again??" or if they're like "hey fucking WILD that that one journalist specifically known for being a huge asshole apparently fell so ass over teakettle in love with that weird cowboy miracle worker of a gaffer that he divorced his wife, exploded his job, and had a radical personality shift via apparently deciding to be emotionally vulnerable. and all of this after writing a pretty fucked exposé on him?? why does no one talk about this more"
and while all the possibilities mentioned are great in their own ways, it could even be one of the other main characters whos just not generally involved in his storyline like. what does sam think of all this. what is jamie thinking when trent becomes their emotional support journalist dork. what does keeley think.
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ao3feed-tedlasso · 1 year
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I Know a Place
by TheGoblinMatriarch
From the tumblr prompt: Now that Colin is safe from the threat of a previously bully journalist outing him and can more objectively pick up on queer-coding cues in the club, who's going to write the fic where he goes full tedtrent conspiracy theorist, trying to figure out if Ted is available on his new mentor's behalf?
Words: 1471, Chapters: 1/2, Language: English
Fandoms: Ted Lasso (TV)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Categories: M/M
Characters: Colin Hughes, Trent Crimm
Relationships: Trent Crimm/Ted Lasso
Additional Tags: Colin POV, Queer Elders, the gaffer is queer, and you should shoot your shot
source https://archiveofourown.org/works/47103961
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hardynwa · 10 months
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Opinion poll: Stakeholders kick against Peseiro’s Eagles contract renewal
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A vast majority of Super Eagles fans have asked the Nigeria Football Federation not to retain head coach Jose Peseiro in an opinion poll conducted by PUNCH Sports Extra following the NFF’s decision to use a social media poll to decide whether to renew his contract or not. The NFF announced the appointment of Peseiro as the new coach of the Eagles May 15, 2022, replacing Austin Eguavoen, who returned to his Technical Director role at the federation. The Portuguese coach, who earns $70,000 per month, will see his one-year contract with the federation expire on Friday. Expectations were high amongst the country’s football-crazy populace when a then top official of the Nigeria Football Federation told journalists in Lagos last year that Peseiro was introduced to the football body by compatriot Jose Mourinho, one of the biggest managers in world football. “If he wasn’t good, he wouldn’t have been recommended by a top coach as Mourinho,” an official told The PUNCH December 2021, when Peseiro’s name was first mooted for the Eagles job alongside Serbian Mladen Krstajic. “We spoke to three top coaches and Peseiro, whose name has been going around, is one of the coaches and I can tell you he is a top coach,” former NFF president Amaju Pinnick, whose board employed Peseiro, also told journalists in Lagos. However, the stats and figures since Peseiro took over the Eagles’ job have been unimpressive, raising doubts over his ability to take the three-time African champions to greater height. Under the Portuguese, the Eagles recorded their biggest win ever — a 10-0 mauling of minnows Sao Tome and Principe — during the AFCON qualifiers last year. But they have largely churned out underwhelming performances and have only won four of their nine games since the 67-year-old manager took charge, losing the remaining five, with the side scoring 18 goals and conceding 15. It was also under Peseiro that the Eagles recorded their worst run in 42 years as they lost four consecutive games, including a shock 1-0 defeat to minnows and 118th-ranked Guinea-Bissau in Abuja last March in a 2023 AFCON qualifier. Checks by our correspondents showed that the Eagles were ranked 30th in the FIFA rankings when the Portuguese took over in May 2022, but in the latest ranking released by the football governing body in April, Nigeria now ranks 40th in the world. With the future of the Portuguese uncertain, the country’s football governing body decided to leave it to a public vote, using social media and SMS poll. The results of a poll conducted by PUNCH Sports Extra gathering results from 100 Nigerians revealed that majority of Nigerians would prefer to see a different manager at the helm of the Eagles’ affairs. The opinion poll asked Nigerians, ‘Should NFF retain Peseiro as Eagles coach? Yes, No, Undecided?’ and a total of 64 respondents said ‘No’ while 21 said ‘Yes’. Fifteen others said they undecided whether the gaffer should continue with the national team or not. Despite qualifying the Eagles for next year’s AFCON after a hard-fought and another underwhelming outing by the team, majority of the respondents to our poll, who are keen followers of the team, are unperturbed, insisting that the coach wasn’t worthy to lead the team. Harrison Jalla, head of Task Force, Professional Footballers Association of Nigeria, who also kicked against renewing Peseiro’s contract, said the coach shouldnt have been given the job in the first place, adding that he isn’t better than the local coaches despite earning a humongous $70, 000 (N53.5m) monthly salary in a country where the poverty rate is at an all-time high. “Hiring coach Jose Peseiro was in my opinion an act of sabotage to the Super Eagles of Nigeria. The first criteria in hiring a foreign coach must be his pedigree. Peseiro has nothing to add to the Super Eagles. Many of our Indigenous coaches are better than Peseiro. The NFF should invest the $70k monthly salary on our indigenous,” Jalla told PUNCH Sports Extra. Sports analyst Ufuoma Osusu says he’ll prefer former U-17 coach Emmanuel Amuneke given the job ahead of next year’s AFCON in Ivory Coast. “Between now and the 2023 AFCON is six months away, so, let Emmanuel Amuneke take full charge and forget the consortium of coaches that ruined our qualification to the Qatar World Cup, let Finidi (George) wait a while, we need to avoid rushing people,” Osusu added. A fan Bunmi Akinsemola stated, “The problem with the NFF is that we can always trust them to replace a bad coach with a failed coach. So, I’d rather say, if you can’t get a clearly better coach than Peseiro, then leave him till AFCON 2024. It will cost us little financially, but I really don’t see him taking us through the World Cup qualifiers successfully or even the World Cup except he can do a (Clemens) Westerhof and turn the fortunes of the Super Eagles around given the long time he’d have been in charge.” Sports journalist Sulaimon Alao didn’t mince words about the Portuguese’s future with the team. “It’s should not be up for debate at all. No fan of the team has been pleased with the way the team. Peserio does not deserve a new deal,” Alao said. YES However, some other respondents backed the coach to continue on the job after qualifying the team for next year’s AFCON. “Let’s see what he can do at the AFCON first,” sports journalist Pius Ayinor stated. “Moreover, we don’t really have the cash to hire a higher quality for now.” Another journalist Afolabi Gambari added, ”As much as I don’t like him, I don’t think the NFF should let him go at the moment because they will be making the same mistake they made with Gernot Rohr. The AFCON is months away and the World Cup qualifiers will start soon. He should stay on but must be monitored,” Afolabi Gambari. Bukky Olamide, who is among the 15 respondents who are undecided about the future of the coach, is more concerned about the huge monthly salary of the Portuguese. “I don’t even know if we should be blaming the coach or the players because the situation was almost similar under the previous manager but my only concern is the hefty money they are paying him. “There is no guaranty that if they bring in a new coach things will get better and I am not happy with the money we are paying him. It is more of the NFF doing what they feel is right in the situation because they are the ones paying, but the money is much.” Read the full article
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survivoirs · 1 year
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@trcntcrimm. - “You’re a huge fucking dork, you know that?” - Roy 😌
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"Oh, I'm a dork? Should I repeat the ass-squatch comment or can we both move on?"
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The way Roy's slightly cocky expression dropped into a glare and then a brief look of embarrassment was shockingly quick and out of character. A more familiar growl rumbled in his throat before he rolled his eyes. With calculative steps, Roy approached Crimm slowly. Kent pursed his lips as if he were chewing over his words carefully. Then, the gaffer simply nodded appreciatively before he clapped the older man on the side of the shoulder while moving past the journalist to get to the tea (and coffee for the Americans) station in the breakroom. 'Good one,' Kent thought to himself but didn't say aloud, not looking back at Crimm as he started filling the electric kettle in the sink. Like hell was he going to give the guy any sort of admittance. The shoulder pat was practically that when it came to Roy Kent.
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remingtonitbt137 · 2 years
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footballghana · 2 years
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Journalists helped me to scout players for Black Stars B – Coach Annor Walker
Head coach for the Black Stars B team, Coach Annor Walker has revealed that he put together his recently announced squad with the help of some journalists.
The Great Olympics gaffer named a thirty-five-man squad for the upcoming qualifiers for the CHAN tournament last Thursday.
After the unveiling of the selected players, many scrutinized the squad with accusations that there was some sort of favouritism and unfairness.
Speaking to Class FM to defend his call-ups, Coach Annor Walker has admitted that he invited some players with the help of journalists.
“I will say I looked at them, I also honestly, I have friends like scouted who are also journalists. Not excuse me to say coaches. That one I have to be frank,” the Black Stars B coach said.
He explained his decision, saying he believes his friend journalists will not recommend bad players to him.
“I believe as a good friend you [journalists] will not give me a bad player. Besides all this I have called 25 players. We are going to camp. Within one week, me Annor Walker I’m telling you, even two days I can come up with my team,” Coach Annor Walker added.
The Black Stars B will open camp in Prampram at the Ghanaman Centre of Excellence on Monday to prepare for the CHAN qualifier against Benin.
source: https://footballghana.com/
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lunadove · 3 years
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Just imagine being Trent Crimm for a moment. Your journalistic career is going well, on a normal trajectory.
Then the football world explodes with the news that, due to the paparazzi scandal of the year, one of the teams you cover has suddenly passed into the hands of the previous owner’s ex-wife. Interesting. 
And then one of the teams you’re covering brings in a gaffer who has ZERO CLUE of the game, and you’re positive it’s going to be a wreck, but somehow a miracle fucking occurs and he makes up for his lack of football knowledge with his top notch people skills and emotional intelligence and will randomly derail press conferences with rambling tales that don’t seem to have a point until the end and then they hit you full on in the chest.
By this point, you’re not sure if anything can surprise you anymore. Except then you see during a match that the team is protesting their primary sponsor. Amazing. What can top that? 
AND THEN one of the team’s players decides to ACCUSE THE NIGERIAN GOVERNMENT OF CORRUPTION. 
What I’m saying is that Trent Crimm is enjoying every single damn twist the Richmond press room throws at him. That man wakes up in the morning with zero clue what’s going to happen that day and he LOVES it. What folksy antidote will Ted tell today? Is this the day that Rebecca Welton verbally rips the paparazzi a new asshole? Will Sam Obisanya become an even bigger badass then already he is? (Is that even possible?) Who knows? CERTAINLY NOT TRENT CRIMM AND HE LIKES IT THAT WAY.
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poemega · 1 year
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I sit down for a lovely night of scrolling, tin foil hat and clown makeup on. It’s time to think about a gay journalist and his gaffer.
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itsclydebitches · 1 year
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Now that Colin is safe from the threat of a previously bully journalist outing him and can more objectively pick up on queer-coding cues in the club, who's going to write the fic where he goes full tedtrent conspiracy theorist, trying to figure out if Ted is available on his new mentor's behalf?
Oh Trent's got it BAD for the gaffer, this is perfect... yeah, yeah Coach has freaking HEART EYES whenever he looks his way! ... wait... shit... did Coach just say he's straight? fuck, oh no ... hold on, he 'WAS' a straight man? what are you now?? ... Roy says Trent went full dork on Coach and was glowing afterwards - though I think Roy said something more along the lines of 'Looked like there was fucking sunshine spewing out of his ass' - alright, alright, I think we're still on track!!
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Colin, the second Trent walks into the room: You are a strong and capable man, Trent. You are not a piece of shit. Ted would be lucky to have you.
Trent: ??!!????!!!?
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a sequel to this (more "trent being a disaster" silliness and thumbs up tomfoolery!)
for @mvshortcut; without whom this would not have happened!
(ao3.)
Alex Carmichael still doesn’t entirely know what to make of Trent Crimm.
He’s well aware of the man’s reputation, but it had been weeks, and no article had dropped—not so much as a whisper. As far as he or Seth could tell, there was no story being dropped, no rumors flying.
Trent Crimm had definitely seen them, but he had, apparently, told no one.
More perplexingly, he had given them one (1) single thumbs up.
What on earth they were supposed to do with this, Alex wasn’t sure. Seth was pretty sure it was an attempt at a white flag—more we come in peace than we surrender, but still.
Alex didn’t really care, so long as Crimm didn’t publish an article about it. Which he didn’t. So whatever.
Best not to think about it.
And then, months later, they were at a relatively normal press conference, and Alex was in the back of the room watching his gaffer yak on about whatever, and he spots Trent Crimm in the crowd of reporters, with his notebook, being a normal reporter.
And, like it’s fate, he looks up and sees Alex.
Not unlike the moment in the club, it would be the sort of moment in which time should really be slowing down dramatically.
Because, well. Alex had the potential to do something very funny right now. And Alex has always liked being funny. Probably why he got called a little shit so often.
Alex looks the journalist right in the eyes. He is doing an impressive impression of a steady person who isn’t nervous at all.
And before he can casually look away, Alex slowly raises one hand, and gives him a thumbs up.
Trent—blinks. And then Alex gets the rare, singular joy of watching Trent Crimm briefly, but very visibly, regret having ever been born.
Alex puts his hand down, but no one else seems to have noticed, nor are they noticing that Alex is still staring down one journalist in particular.
Trent puts a hand up to his forehead, thumb to the temple and fingers covering his eyes, like he’s exhausted, clearly no longer paying attention to the press conference.
And then, after a painful moment, still not looking up or removing his hand from his face, returns the thumbs up.
This is the greatest moment of Alex Carmichael’s life.
.
Alex and Seth make a game of it after that.
They don’t go out of their way to see Trent Crimm, but, you know, if he’s there…
The funny thing is, he always returns it. Even when he looks deeply embarrassed. They’ve never spoken a word to him, but he always returns the thumbs up.
At one point Alex watches as one of his neighboring colleagues, frowning, leans over to ask him something Alex can’t hear, to which Trent Crimm snaps at them defensively and they hold their hands up in a show of defeat.
Alex is pretty sure Seth was right by now. It was also funny, because, well, the rumors didn’t stop—they still heard about what a ruthless wanker Trent Crimm apparently was, saw him eviscerate someone in an interview with a few calm words and a raised eyebrow, saw his articles which were, while not generally cruel or even always mean, certainly sharp.
He's exactly the man they were afraid of when they saw him. And he’s also the man that gives them a mortified little thumbs up every time they see him, just because. And he’s the man who’s never told a soul.
.
There’s a particularly nasty article from Trent Crimm one evening—not about either of them, but a teammate—and while it’s not necessarily unfair, and it’s certainly not dishonest, it is harsh. And, you know, that’s their teammate.
So when Trent looks over at them—which he always does now, when they’re there, like habit, they both give him matching, solemn thumbs downs.
Trent Crimm’s eyes widen. His face visibly falls. What the fuck. Why does Alex feel like he just kicked a puppy.
Beside him, Seth wavers. He tilts his hand so that the thumbs down is now sideways, with a sort of half-apologetic grimace. Alex elbows him. Seth hisses something along the lines of look at his face.
Alex looks back at Trent Crimm. The rest of the press conference is continuing around them, unnoticing and undeterred. Trent Crimm is apparently oblivious to this, because he is staring directly at them with huge eyes.
What the hell.
Alex refuses to retract his thumbs down.
Trent Crimm looks quietly miserable the rest of the press conference. He does not ask any questions.
.
(The next press conference, which is business-as-usual as far as Trent’s articles and Levels of Badness (thanks Lilo) go, Seth gives him a double thumbs up.
He genuinely brightens, and Alex would like to know when this became his life. He gives a thumbs up, too. Just one. Which Trent returns, because of course he does. How had this running joke become something else? Whatever this was? What the hell?)
(And since when did Trent Crimm give a damn what anyone thought of him? Or light up under the simple, mind-numbingly vague praise of a single thumbs up? Again, Alex must reiterate: what the hell?)
.
One of the other players asks Alex what the fuck’s up with him, Seth, and Trent Crimm.
Don’t Worry About It, Alex says. He eyes Alex skeptically, but doesn’t push it.
When asked, Seth chirps, “We’re all part of the same secret underground cult,” to which he is clapped on the back and told if you didn’t want to answer you could have just said so, mate.
In private, Alex reminds Seth that being gay isn’t a cult. Seth says it’s “close enough”. Alex squints at him and decides this joke isn’t worth elaborating on further.
.
Alex finds himself actually checking for Trent’s articles now. Fuck, when did he start thinking of him as Trent?
They’ve literally never said a word to the man outside of the very occasional professional and brief comment or what-have-you, during which there were always many other people.
And yet.
They might have a completely unique perspective on the man. I mean, obviously they didn’t know much about his personal life, but at the very least, in the professional sports world, no one quite knew Trent Crimm the way they did, albeit in a strange and distant sort of way.
And anyway, admittedly, things have taken an interesting turn. Trent primarily covers AFC Richmond, which is why they didn’t necessarily see him regularly.
His preliminary article on the new gaffer is scathing, although for once, Alex can’t really fault him for it. He’s ruthless in the press room—hell, that offside rule question was just kind of mean, but Alex could respect he was proving a point (or really, driving it home).
And then there was his next article. It was… bemusing. And although hardly glowing, that last line—but I can’t help but root for him—is telling indeed.
(Their usual thumbs up was exchanged, as usual, once in this interval.)
And it wasn’t as if Alex or Seth knew Trent Crimm well—in fact, they very much didn’t—nor was it as if this whole thing, whatever it was, was an enormous part of their lives. Once it became clear that they were not being outed, it was, in fact, not a big deal at all.
If anything, it was kind of amazing Alex and Seth were still together at all—albeit very discreetly—and that not a lot else had changed.
But all of this to say, despite it not exactly being a huge thing in their lives, they still took notice when Trent began taking—an odd turn.
The thumbs up thing largely remained the same. But his press conferences at Richmond—less so.
Seth insisted Trent had a thing for the new gaffer, which, frankly, didn’t seem far out of the realm of possibility.
(Seth wanted to make a little mustache with his pointer finger and then do a particularly enthusiastic thumbs up next time they saw him to show their support, but Alex pointed out that their little thumbs up game was already noticeable, if dismissible as a strange joke—that would be far easier to decode into something dangerous. Seth reluctantly acquiesced.)
Anyway, it was weird, but not that concerning.
.
Okay, it was a little concerning now.
The day Trent Crimm’s article drops on Coach Lasso’s panic attacks, Alex says, “Oh, shit,” and Seth wonders if maybe he was wrong about his thing with the gaffer entirely.
They are definitely planning to pull out the big guns (aka: the Double Thumbs Down Of Doom) only to find that he isn’t in the press room at all.
“What the fuck,” Seth whispers.
They find out he got himself fired.
“What the fuck,” Seth whispers.
.
So is that just it? Their weird little thumbs up game is over forever now?
Weirdly, Alex feels cheated. What the hell, Trent?
It’s not like they’re likely to just run into each other on the street. He’s half a mind to find the man’s email just so he can send him a single blank email with the subject line “👍”.
Or possibly “👎” but honestly, kicking a man while he was down just seemed unnecessary.
.
“Alex, you are not going to believe this,” said Seth.
Trent was writing a book about Richmond. About that gaffer.
Was it weird to be proud of him?
“Not at all,” Seth said. “He’s like our son. Our weird, endearing, twice-our-age, journalist son, who we have never spoken a word to.”
Yeah, that tracked.
.
Seeing him for the first time in-person as a former journalist was bizarre. They were at some boring press event, with multiple teams, that, let’s be honest, the author can’t be fucked to give you a good explanation for, because this is a crack fic and he’s been up since god knows when and it’s 7 am now, and they spot him across the room.
He appears to be talking to Coach Lasso, and waving his hands animatedly, more excited than they’ve ever seen him. Lasso is watching him like he’s the most fascinating thing he’s ever seen. They’re tucked in the back corner—Alex only spotted them at all because he’d been looking for a quiet place to retreat to a bit for a breather—and Trent looks… relaxed.
He doesn’t look like the fearsome journalist they’d been terrified of outing them, or like the man who, only a few years ago, had asked a rather mean question of the very man he was talking to, on live television, just to prove a point.
In fact, Alex is pretty sure he’s looking at the dork that gave him and his boyfriend a thumbs up in a gay bar and then immediately ran away.
Perhaps this is why he does what he does next, which is an entirely impulsive action.
He cups his hands over his mouth and calls, “Hey, Trent!”
Trent Crimm jumps, startled, and then looks over in his direction. And his mouth falls open. Lasso turns to look his way, too, then, unperturbed, looks back to Trent and says something inaudible in the crowd.
Trent doesn’t take his eyes off Alex, though. Alex gives him a double thumbs up.
Trent—flushes. Ducks his head and says something to Lasso. Lasso beams. Lasso turns to him and gives him a big thumbs up. Trent, still hiding his face, more openly mortified than he’s been since the first time, gives a considerably smaller thumbs up.
Alex takes his eyes off them for a second, wondering where Seth has wandered off to, and when he looks back they are headed towards him. Or, more accurately, Lasso is cheerfully headed towards him, while Trent is trailing behind him like a lost duckling or a dog being dragged balefully forward by his leash.
“Heya!” says Lasso brightly. Trent Crimm, Thumbs Up Extraordinaire, says nothing.
Before Alex can say anything, Seth, who had apparently been approaching from behind, says, “Ooh, are we talking to Trent now? Hi, Trent! Hi, Trent’s new muse!”
Trent made a strangled noise. Alex elbowed Seth, hard. Lasso seemed unfazed.
“Howdy!” he says, like a fucking stereotype. “How do y’all know Trent? He refuses to elaborate.”
“He’s our son,” Seth said without missing a beat.
“I am not,” says Trent Crimm, the first words he has actually said out loud to them outside of a professional capacity.
“Nice to meet you, Mr. and Mr. Crimm,” says Lasso with zero fucking hesitation. Alex likes him.
“Ted, they’re at least a decade younger than me,” says Trent. “If anything, they’d be my sons.”
“Incorrect,” said Alex. “You’re our son now, sorry.”
“How,” said Trent.
“…Creatively,” said Seth thoughtfully, “And with science.”
“Science can do wonderful things,” Lasso agreed gamely.
“How did we even get to this idea,” said Trent, sounding exasperated and pinching the bridge of his nose. “Walk me through the thought process here.”
“No comment,” said Alex. Seth just shrugged.
.
This was how they somehow ended up spending at least an hour or two in the company of Trent Crimm.
Lasso did leave at one point (during which Seth immediately turned to Trent and said “is he our son-in-law?” and made him choke on his drink) but he wandered back eventually.
It was—well. extremely weird. And hardly a normal progression of a relationship. But perhaps the weirdest part was how not weird it felt—Trent Crimm seemed to have relaxed substantially. They’d already noticed this on some level, but talking to him up close, it was even more obvious.
The dissonance all those years ago between the ruthless reporter everyone was wary of, that they were wary of, and the awkward, trying-his-best gesture of a thumbs up of all things, was no longer here. The two pictures had blended into one: Trent Crimm, former journalist and current biographer, who was both sharp-tongued and a complete dork.
.
(They did end up baffling any guests who came too close, except for Lasso, who seemed to just be taking it in stride even though Trent had been firm that he hadn’t told him how they’d met.
“It’s like I said,” Seth said sagely. “Trent’s like our son. Our middle-aged journalist son who we’ve only ever exchanged thumbs ups with. As you do.”
“Still better fathers than my father,” muttered Trent into his drink, definitely not intending to be heard.
“Oh, so you’ve chosen to finalize the adoption,” Alex says as Seth begins to vibrate.
Ms. Welton looked like she didn’t know how to react to any of these statements, which was fair. Seth is currently trying to convince Trent they should “play catch sometime”.)
.
In the end, they do get his email (Alex sends him a message with the subject line “👍” that just reads “hello son” to which he receives an email with the subject line “👎” and no body at all) and leave feeling considerably lighter.
Eventually this will result in:
Alex and Seth meeting their honorary grandchild, one (1) Isadora Crimm, affectionately dubbed “The Crimmlet”, much to Trent’s chagrin.
They will teach The Crimmlet the thumbs up thing and she be thrilled about this. (Also much to Trent’s chagrin.)
You would think it would be Seth that would get drunk, find the phone number of Trent’s father, and prank call him, but you would be wrong. It was Alex.
Alex pleasantly informs him they have adopted is son and he is now sonless. “Pleasantly” here can be defined as “shouting, loudly”.
Trent also meets Seth’s parents (Alex’s are Not To Be Spoken Of) and they, unfortunately, love him. Mischief brews.
Local Football Players Betrayed! Journalist Son Has Another Gay Footballer? More At Eleven
Nevermind, Colin’s Their Grandson/Other Son Now
Through a series of shenanigans and plot happenings… son-in-law acquired.
“I KNEW he had a thing for Lasso!” Seth crows.
Jamie would like to know why Trent gets a thumbs up for his signal and he gets a very different finger.
Through yet more Happenings and Tomfoolery, Seth and Alex get married. They both tried to propose on the same day, and the ensuing chaos of two wildly conflicting dramatic proposals happening on top of each other nearly resulted in a few arrests. Trent is not the best man but he is certainly in attendance.
They ask him if he wants to be flower girl. He very nearly takes them up on it out of spite.
Generally, while the strange Thumbs Up Arrangement™ had been funny, actually getting to know the man—and being known in return—was better. Wildly unexpected and deeply bizarre, but better. He was a good friend.
But all that’s later, and considerably more chapters than the author can afford. You know it’s past 7 pm now? Since writing those words, one sentence later, it is now 10 pm.
For now, Seth and Alex end up in the same bed after a long night, and they kiss, and then they’re not thinking about Trent Crimm or any thumbs, up or otherwise, for a while.
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tiesandtea · 3 years
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Simon Gilbert
Simon Says
We interviewed Simon Gilbert, Suede’s drummer, whose book So Young: Suede 1991-1993 is a journal and photographic document of the band’s early years that will be published October 8th. So Young has foreword by journalist Stuart Maconie and a vibrant, lively text by Simon himself, documenting his move from Stratford-on-Avon, his hometown, to London, the audition with Suede, life in the van, the early success years and the many amusing things that come with it. It is one of those rare books that make an outsider feel like they were there, in the van. Or in absurd mansions in L.A. belonging to industry types. Or was it record producer(s)?…
The conversation extended to Coming Up, Suede’s third album that turned 25 this year and drumming. Simon’s witty, often, one-liners contrast with my more elaborate questions, proving an interesting insight into our way of writing/replying.
by Raquel Pinheiro
So Young: Suede 1991-1993
What made you want to realease So Young?
I was searching through my archives when researching for the insatiable ones movies and found lots of old negatives and my diaries. They had to be seen.
When and why did you start your Suede archives?
As you can see from the book, it stared from the very first audition day.
From the concept idea to publishing how long did it took you to put So Young together?
30 years … I’ve always wanted to make a book since I was first in a band.
What was your selection process for which items – diary entries, photos, etc.- would be part of the book?
I wanted to form a story visually with a few bits of info thrown in here and there, also most of the photos tie in with pages from the diaries.
Which methods, storage, preservation, maintenance, if at all, do you employ to keep the various materials in your archives in good shape?
Boxes in an attic … one thing about getting the book out is that I don’t have to worry about the photos getting lost forever. It’s out there in a book!
Other than medium what differences existed between selecting material for The Insatiable Ones documentary and for So Young?
Video and photos … photos don’t translate well on a TV screen.
Do you prefer still or motion pictures and why?
I prefer photos … they capture a particular moment in time … as video does, but there’s a unique atmosphere with a photo.
So Young’s cover photo has a very Caravaggio and ballet feeling to it. Its chiaroscuro also contrasts with the images inside.  Why did you choose it for the cover?
It was a striking shot and I wanted the book to be black and dark …it fitted perfectly.
How many of the photos on So Young were taken by you?
Probably about 3/4 my 3 school friends who were there with me at the beginning Iain, Kathy and Phillip took a load of us onstage, backstage, after  the gig, etc., photos I couldn’t take myself.
So Young can be placed alongside books like Henry Rollins’ Get in The Van and Michael Azerrad’s Our Band Could Be Your Life, that not only chronicle and show the less glamorous, more mundane side of being in a band, but also totally immerse the reader so deep in it that we are there, feeling and going through the same things. Was your selection of materials meant to convey that “band being your(our) life” sensation?
Yes, exactly that. I was fascinated by photos of bands, not on the front cover of a magazine or on TV. The other bits of being in a band are far more interesting.
In the foreword, Stuart Maconie mentions the brevity of your diary entries which, as someone who keeps diaries, I immediately noticed. Do you prefer to tell and record a story and events with images?
I haven’t kept a diary since the end of 1993 … looking back on them they can be a bit cringeful … So, yes, I prefer images.
Contrasting with the diary entries brevity your text  that accompanies So Young is lively, witty, detailed and a good description of the struggles of a coming of age, heading towards success, band. Do you think the text and images reveal too much into what it really is like being in a band, destroying the myth a bit?
I think the myth of being in a band is long gone … Reality is the new myth…
In So Young you write that when you first heard Never Mind The Bollocks by The Sex Pistols music was to be your “future dream”. How has the dream been so far?
Still dreaming … lose your dreams and you will lose your mind … like Jagger said.
Is there a reason why So Young only runs from 1991 to 1993?
Yes, I bought a video camera in 1993. It was so much easier filming everything rather than take a photo, wait 3 weeks to get it developed and find out it was blurred.
So Young has a limited deluxe numbered and signed edition already sold out. The non deluxe edition also seems to be heading the same way. How important is it for you to keep a close relationship with the fans?
So important. I love interacting with the fans and is so easy these days … I had to write replies by hand and post them out in 1993…
Playing Live Again & Coming Up
Before Suede’s concert at Qstock Festival in Oulu, Finland on 31.07.2021 you wrote on your social media “cant fucking wait dosnt come close!!!!!” and Mat [Osman, Suede’s bassist] on his “An honest-to-goodness rehearsal for an honest-to-goodness show. Finally”. How did it feel like going back to play live?
It was great. Heathrow was empty which was amazing. A bit strange to play for the first time after 2 years …., but great to get out again.
Coming Up was released 25 years ago. How does the record sound and seems to you now compared with by then?
I haven’t listened to it for a long time actually … love playing that album live … some great drumming.
Before the release of Coming Up fans and the press were wondering if Suede would be able to pull it off. What was your reaction when you first heard the new songs and realize the album was going in quite a different direction than Dog Man Star?
Far too long ago to remember.
Coming Up become a classic album. It even has its own Classical Albums documentary. Could you see the album becoming a classic by then?
I think so yes .. there was always something to me very special about that album.
Is it different to play Coming Up songs after Suede’s return? Is there a special approach to concerts in which a single album is played?
No … didn’t even need to listen to the songs before we first rehearsed … They’re lodged in my brain.
Which is your Coming Up era favourite song as a listener and which one do you prefer as a drummer?
The Chemistry Between Us.
Will the Coming Up shows consist only of the album or will B-sides be played as well?
Definitely some B-sides and some other stuff too.
Simon & Drumming
If you weren’t a drummer how would your version of “being the bloke singing at the front” be like?
Damned awful … I auditioned as a singer once, before I started drumming … It was awful!
In his book Stephen Morris says that all it takes to be a drummer is a flat surface and know how to count. Do you agree?
No.
Then, what makes a good drummer?
Being in the right band.
Topper Headon of the Clash is one of your role models. Who are the others?
He is, yes … fantastic drummer.
Charlie Watts is the other great …and Rat Scabies … superb.
She opens with drums so does Introducing the band. Your drumming gives the band a distinctive sound. How integral to Suede’s sound are the drums?
Well, what can I say … VERY!
Do you prefer songs that are driven by the drums or songs in which the drums are more in the background?
Bit of both actually … I love in your face stuff like She, Filmstar …, but ikewise, playing softer stuff is very satisfying too.
You’re not a songwriter. How much freedom and input do you have regarding drum parts?
If the songs needs it, I’ll change it.
Do you prefer blankets, towels or a pillow inside the bass drum?
Pillows.
Do you use gaffer tape when recording? If so, just on the snare drum or also on the toms? What about live?
Lots of the stuff … gaffer tape has been my friend both live and in the studio for 30 years.
What is the depth of your standard snare drum and why?
Just got a lovely 7-inch Bog wood snare from Repercussion Drums … sounds amazing. It is a 5000 year old Bog wood snare.
Standard, mallets, rods or brushes?
Standard. I hate mallets and rods are always breaking after one song. Brushes are the worst …no control.
How many drum kits have you owned? Of those, which is your favourite?
5 … my fave is my DW purple.
How long to you manage without playing? Do you play air drums?
7 years 2003 – 2010 … and never.
Can you still assemble and tune your drum kit?
Assemble, yes …tune no …have never been any good at that.
You dislike digital/electronic drum kits, but used one during the pandemic. Did you become more found of them?
Still hate them … unfortunately,  they are a necessary evil.
When you first joined Suede you replaced a drum machine. Would it be fair to say you didn’t mind taking its job?
Fuck him!
Brett [Anderson, Suede’s singer] as described the new album as “nasty, brutish and short”. How does that translates drums wise?
Very nasty brutish and short.
When researching for the interview I come across the statement below on a forum: “If you’re in a band and you’re thinking about how to go about this, get every player to come up with their own track list & have a listening party. I’ve done this, not only is it great fun, it’s also massively insightful when it comes to finding out what actually is going on inside the drummer’s head!”. What actually is going on inside the drummer’s head?
Where’s my fucking lighter!
And what is going on inside the drummer as a documentarist head? How does Simon, the drummer, differs from Simon, the keen observer of his own band, bandmates, fans, himself, etc.?
There is no difference … I’m Simon here there and everywhere…
What would the 16 years old Simon who come to London think of current Simon? What advice would you give to your younger self?
Don’t smoke so much you fool!
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northern-writer · 3 years
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Solid Ground ~ One
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A/N: Afternoon all! Here’s the start of Diana and Steve’s journey. As stated before, these won’t be in order - just this one and the last, which are set in Season Six.
“So, you saw her then? Is she alright?”
It was a typical Friday night - for Steve and I, anyway. 
After a gruelling day of doing practically nothing, Steve and I found ourselves back at my house. Consuming copious amounts of takeaway. I was slightly tipsy from a bottle of red, whilst Steve was two bottles deep into a pack of six Peroni’s. Both of us curled up on the sofa. Steve always took the left, I the right.
Taking a rather elongated sip, Steve just seemed to huff in response, “She’s fine. Who wouldn’t be? Over at Polk, away from the likes of us.”
“Don’t be bitter Steven.”
“Believe me, I’ve tried not to be but-“ Steve couldn’t finish. Instead, taking another drink of beer. He focused his attention back on the television, where a crappy, and rather uninteresting talk show played.
But I wasn’t done, “Kate wanted a change. There’s nothing wrong with that. We should be thankful that for once, she’s happy.”
It took him a moment, then Steve shifted, his gaze meeting mine. I raised a brow, causing him to chuckle softly and return to watching the television. 
On the other hand, I found myself just staring at Steve, unable to tear my eyes away. There were a number of things occurring in my brain. Maybe it was the wine? Surely that wasn’t causing the flutterings. No, that had been there for quite some time. 
He’s my best friend. There’s not much more to it than that. Steve Arnott was the waist coated light of my life, and when I say that I couldn’t live without him, that wouldn’t be an exaggeration. He liked beer and football. A hot curry after work. I hated beer, had zero interest in football and couldn’t stand curry. But that didn’t matter. Not to us. That’s what made our friendship so special. If Steve could handle the odd episode of Married at First Sight (the Australian version, not the British,) then I could withstand attending a football match or two. We’re different, but so alike. That’s what made us. I knew that, regardless of if he had a relationship, I was his rock - his one constant, as he had been mine for so long. 
But now he wanted to transfer, leaving AC-12 behind, just as Kate had done eighteen months before.
The thought of Steve relocating made my chest hurt. It was selfish of me, but I didn’t want him to go. There was still time. He hadn’t made up his mind just yet. Work had been kicking his arse recently. This was due to unsolved murder of journalist, Gail Vella. It was an incredibly tragic murder and naturally, the handling by DCI. Davidson was starting to botch. Over the last two years, I’d had a few dealings with the DCI in question, majority of them ending with the biting of tongues and keeping my mouth shut. I wasn’t Steve. I couldn’t get myself in trouble, not again. Rather than get caught up in my thoughts, I found myself reaching for my glass of Merlot and settling into Steve’s side. He was warm and luckily, didn’t mind the intrusion; his arm going around me like it was supposed to be there. After all these years he was used to it. 
//
Steve tried to focus on the tv. He tried his hardest, his very hardest, but no matter what - he couldn’t. Not with Diana nestled to close to his side. After six years, he’d grown accustomed to seeing her, at AC-12, socially on the weekends and one thing was for certain, that without her, he’d be lost. Unable to properly function. It never mattered what he did - Almost ruined the cases; ended up in hospital after being thrown down stairs (he still hadn’t lived that one down, physically and with Diana); the many failed relationships and after all that happened with Dot, she was there. Still by his side. 
Then there was the medication. Diana wasn’t aware of that, Steve had made certain that his friend wouldn’t find out. There would be hell to pay if she did, and would only fuss him, then maybe tell on him to his mother. Not the ideal situation, if he was being honest with himself. No, secrets were better for now. 
Things weren’t looking good at AC-12 either. Everybody was consumed with the suspicious murder of Gail Vella. Hastings, Bishop, even Diana, who’s role at AC-12 had been elevated to be the only Forensic Consultant. Seeing Diana everyday made Steve feel warm. To see her smile whenever he managed to crack a stupid joke, or when Hastings quipped something incredibly Irish. It seemed to brighten the room and for that, Steve was glad. As the television grew less interesting, Steve found his mind going to other places, to the secret meeting he’d had with Kate. What a failure that had subsequently been… 
Steve hated Polk Avenue. He could never quite place why, but he did. Kate leaving had affected him more than he cared to admit. She was his ‘mate.’ Aside from Diana, she was the only other person who he could trust. They both knew everything about him. An unnerving thought indeed. As he parked up and flashed the lights - four times, just to be sure - Steve waited patiently for Kate to approach the car. He spotted her as she began to walk away from the building and near his car, hidden subtly by the front gates. Once she was inside, it was clear Kate wasn’t all that pleased to see him.
Turning to face him, her face incredulous, “What kind of knobby signal was that?”
Typical Kate, he thought.
“First thing that came to mind.”
“Go round the block in case anyone’s watching.” Kate instructed. Pulling her seatbelt over and on, settling into the passenger seat.
Inhaling sharply, Steve simply nodded, putting the car into drive, “No worries.” 
Together, they pulled away from the station, turning onto the street and driving away. For a moment, an awkward, unfamiliar silence filled the vehicle. It was Kate who spoke up first. Breaking the peace.
“There’s a nice little balti up the road. But, I’m guessing that’s not why you’re here, though.” She was calm about it all, but Steve could sense the tension in her voice.
“I wish,” He sighed, “Sorry mate.”
Again, Kate fell silent and chewed on her lip, letting out a quiet, “Right.”
“I can’t share any details, but we might be looking into Vella.” Steve started carefully.
Kate couldn’t believe it. 
Closing her eyes and sighing deeply, “Oh shit,” Opening them again, she found herself getting angry with the man sat beside her, “Great, so when Buckells and Davidson find out, they’re going to think-“
“They’ll think either you’re our CHIS or you’ve been embedded as a UCO.” He intercepted. Turning, he tried to smile at his friend, “That’s why I’m giving you a heads-up, Kate.”
Kate still wasn’t having it, “Steve, you know what it’s like being ex-anti corruption. I’ve had to work my bollocks off with them lot.”
Of course Steve knew this. Kate was one of the hardest workers in the force, and yet, it all boiled down to loyalty - as it always seemed to do these days. 
“Is this the gaffer’s way of getting his own back?” She continued. 
Frowning, Steve simply shook his head, “No, of course not.” 
“Why am I still calling him “gaffer?” 
Steve tried to think of something in kind. He knew why she’d moved, as did Hastings. There was no doubt about that. Sighing, Kate moved onto other subjects, ready to stop talking about her new Bosses.
“How’s Di?” She asked softly, her voice lowering for the first time since getting in. 
Kate missed her friends, even though she wouldn’t admit to that out loud. Seeing them both everyday was something she’d missed. The laughter in those off moments. A coffee when it was calm. Her weekly glass of wine with Diana - that was what she missed the most. Sure, they messaged from time to time, but now Diana was a consultant, rather than just an investigator, and with her position at Polk Avenue, time was scarce. Kate observed Steve closely. Noting how the tops of his ears turned a little pink, or how his cheeks had blushed. Internally, she smirked.
Steve let out a harsh cough and nodded, “She’s good, yeah, she’s- Alright.” 
“I do miss her,” Then, “You’re so obvious you know.” 
“What?” He was confused. 
Kate let out a snort, shaking her head amusedly, “Never mind. Forget I said anything about it.”
Steve wanted to enquire about her statement, but left it alone. Not wanting to upset the moment between them. Their conversation about Vella and Hastings continued until they reached Polk Avenue again. Then, as Steve was left alone, his thoughts returned back to Kate and her statement. What was he so obvious about?
Shaking his head, he tried to push the thoughts back and started to make his way back into the city. 
Collectively, the pair were silent, watching the television. Steve’s fingers brushed over Diana’s shoulder, whilst Diana made his shoulder her pillow. Separately however, their thoughts were racing. 
Both recalling the moments that had led them to this. 
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ocw-archive · 2 years
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Plight of the Navigator; Entertainment Weekly, Sept. 2001
"The first thing you have to understand is this line," says our assigned ensign, leaning into the stiff pacific breeze scouring the deck of the aircraft carrier USS Carl Vinson. Shielding his eyes as the sun peeks over the receding mainland, he points out a red-and-yellow-banded stripe that cuts a clean diagonal off the ship's stern, some 50 yards away: "This is the Foul Line. Cross it, and you die." Muffled chuckles bubble up from his audience, an unregimented clutch of bleary-eyed grips, gaffers, production assistants, and on wind-buffeted journalist who's still trying to figure out where "the head" is. The officer regards us all with concerned amusement,; the Navy-standard attitude for handling the grossly uninitiated. "No, really," he stresses., "You will die. If the bird landing doesn't clip you, the wire will." For most of the Hollywood landlubbers assembled, "bird on a wire" means "disastrous Mel Gibson-Goldie Hawn caper." For anyone familiar with a flight deck, it means potential decapitation. The "birds" in question are $40 million F-18s, the workhorses of today's Navy, including the top-of-the-line F/A-18F fighter and attack jet. (Like Tom Cruise's baby fat, those chunky, gas-guzzling F14 Tomcats from Top Gun will soon be a distant memory.) For a week, pilots will be smacking them onto this deck at several hundred miles an hour, hoping their tailhooks connect with the retractable cable ("the wire") that yanks them to a stop before they skid into the ocean. The Foul Line is the outer boundary of that cable when it's snapped taut with the combined weight and engine thrust of the yet. We all take a step back. Meanwhile, the ensign has moved on to new horrors: Step over another line, and the jet blast from launching F-18s will sweep you off the deck. Also: "You can't wear sneakers up here. The fuel will melt the rubber."
"Why is there jet fuel on the deck?" asks a PA. "The planes leak. What do you expect? They're old." "So where can we stand?" "Stand anywhere you like," the ensign says amiably, "as long as it's not in the way." Filming a movie is challenging enough without worrying about jet blasts, melted soles, and beheadings. But filming a $40 million military adventure like Behind Enemy Lines--and trying to make it look like it cost twice that--is a real decathlon, involving a three-month tour of duty in the Slovak Republic (doubling for the Bosnian countryside) and now, in early February, five days off the coast of Southern California. What's more, this is a working aircraft carrier currently conducting landing trials for fighter pilots, which means the crew can't simply film wherever and whenever it wants. That's an awful lot to throw at a first-time feature director John Moore and a star better known for wry improvisations that raw war dramas. Not that Owen Wilson seems to be having any trouble impressing the real sailors of the Carl Vinson. With every call of "Cut," the lean, blond 33-year-old actor, decked out in the dull green flight suit of a naval aviator, is mobbed by enlisted men and women who pour into the three-Wal-Mart's-long hangar bay armed with pens, paper, and, in one case, a videotape of Anaconda. "He signed it, "Your pal, Owen Wilson," crows a chief petty officer, pad held triumphantly aloft as he emerges from the fray. "My kids are just gonna shit." To be fair, the rampant Owenism may have something to do with the fact that his movies are being shown back-to-back, all day long, on the ship's closed-circuit TV network. (Down in the chief's mess, we watch him die twice daily in Armageddon and The Haunting). Also in heavy rotation: the oeuvre of Gene Hackman, who plays flinty Admiral Leslie Reigart, the battle-group commander forced to choose between rescuing his downed pilot and preserving a fragile peace process in the war-torn Balkans. The 71-year-old Hackman is genial enough on deck, signing autographs and chatting up starstruck sailors, but when a scene wraps, he disappears into his stateroom to steal some much needed shut-eye. His quarters are situated alongside the flight deck, where jets are touching down with deafening frequency throughout the night. But even his brief visitations have spawned rumors worthy of Liz Smith. In one, after a sailor tells Hackman he's his biggest fan, the star asks which film is his favorite. Gushes the swab: "The one where you say, 'You can't handle the truth?' That sort of thing, coupled with the roar of afterburners next to one's ear, would be enough to try any actor's soul. But Hackman is probably more comfortable with the military life than most; he was, after all, a Marine, enlisting at 16 and working as an armed forces deejay in post-WWII China. "I wasn't a very good Marine," he's quick to note. "I went in as a private and came out as a private. I wasn't a great military person, but I recognized enough about it to play a military person." And he's played several, from an Air Force colonel stuck behind enemy lines during Vietnam in Bat 21 to a secretary of defense in No Way Out to a besieged sub captain in Crimson Tide. The same can't be said for Wilson, who was handpicked by Hackman to play Lieut. Chris Burnett, an untested navigator whose jet is struck by a missile over Bosnia. (Hackman decided Wilson "looked like a movie star" after seeing Shanghai Noon and recommended him for the role). Having cemented a reputation as one of Hollywood's premier screen ironists (with scene-stealing turns in Meet the Parents and Zoolander, not to mention collaborating with Wes Anderson on the scripts for Bottle Rocket, Rushmore, and December's The Royal Tenenbaums, in which he again costars with Hackman), Wilson is the first to admit he's an odd choice for the lead in a spit-and-polish war movie. "I did go to military school," he says in his defense, lounging in a makeup tent. "For my last two years of high school. Just enough to know I'm not cut out for it. I got kicked out of
an all-boys private school in Dallas. It was just discipline stuff. I wasn't a very focused student." Turns out Burnett isn't a very focused soldier either, thanks in part to Wilson's influence. In earlier drafts (by Predator's Jim and John Thomas, Red Dawn's John Milius, and The Rock's Mark Rosner, to name just a few), the character was more Maverick than Goose: He sat in the front seat of the plane and bore his plight with an attitude that was a little more steroidal. "There were changes we made when I signed on to make it a little easier for me to play," Wilson recalls. "We switched it from the pilot to the backseater guy, the navigator. I'm definitely not playing a Schwarzenegger, because I don't think I'd buy myself doing something like that. But I can buy myself running for my life.": Which is what Wilson spends most of the movie doing. "I'm behind enemy lines by myself," he muses. "So there's no one to riff with. It's a lot of "Now run over here! Now run over there! Now you're really scared! Now you're really angry!" Needless to say, that's not the usual Owen Wilson MO. With no Ben Stiller or Jackie Chan to play ping to his pong and Cheech to his Chong, Wilson couldn't lean on his much-vaunted improv skills. Instead, he had to cultivate something few had seen in him: grit. Back in the Slovak Republic, that meant running a gauntlet of ticklish, trip-wired land mines, no stuttering or stunt-doubling about it. "That was me!" he exclaims, as if he himself has trouble believing it. "We did one take of that. It was the first day Gene Hackman showed up. I think that gave me a lot of points with him. He treated me like I was a good guy after that. During Tenenbaums, he was telling Wes, 'They were really working Owen hard.' And I was thinking, 'They didn't work me that hard.' But it was because he'd shown up the day I ran through the minefield. he thought that's what it was like every day." A few more sailors move in to seed autographs, and Wilson dutifully obliges them. Then suddenly, he's seized with a new idea. "Have you seen the fantail?" he asks, speaking of the rear platform using the proper ear protection, onlookers can watch the F-18 pilots wheel, wobble their wings, and swoop in to land just overhead. Wilson charges out of a rear hatch just in time to see a jet scream past, jiggling the contents of our stomachs. "Isn't that incredible?" Wilson grins, gripping the railing like an 8-year-old at Niagra Falls. The surf kicks up along the Carl Vinson's stern, spraying us with a fine mist of brine. "Sitting out here, I think of Harvey Keitel in U-571 saying 'I'm an old sea-salt dog,' or whatever he says. Maybe I've got a little bit of that in me, the old salty dog. Salty Dog Wilson." He scans the horizon. "I've also found myself thinking, on that nautical theme, about Treasure Island, Cast Away." There's a pause as another jet comes into view. "And also Cabin Boy. You know, Chris Elliott?" He hunkers down for the thunderous approach. "Yes, my thoughts do run to Cabin Boy." If moviemaking had a Powell doctrine (defined mission, overwhelming budget, clear-cut release strategy), Behind Enemy Lines probably wouldn't have passed muster when principal photography wrapped last spring. "We were trying to make a military movie at a time when nobody gave a s___ about the military," remembers exec producer Wyck Godfrey, who saw the initial script in 1997. "We decided the only way for this movie to appeal to people was to make it about a character who has himself lost faith in his purpose." And then, of course, Everything Changed. America was suddenly under attack and American's military reentered the popular consciousness. Exactly how it's making that reentry (and how profitable it will prove for Hollywood) is still open to question. For example: Will moviegoers be spooked or excited by Behind Enemy Lines' harrowing crash sequence or its trench-level portrayal of an American pilot hunted by enemy troops? For the producers, that debate ended when Sony announced that it had moved Ridley Scott's Black Hawk Down, a
fact-based account of Special Forces troops ambushed in Somalia, from January 2002 to an Oscar-qualifying limited run in late December; from there, the film moves into wide release on Behind Enemy Lines' original opening date of Jan. 18. Remembers Godfrey: "It wasn't really until Black Hawk Down moved to our date that we thought, Let's get it into the holiday season." Two days later, Twentieth Century fox bet its Behind on a Nov. 30 slot. Buoyed by what he claims are the studio's highest combined male and female test scores for any action film since Speed, Fox Filmed Entertainment cochairman Tom Rothman has high hopes. Just don't call it a war movie. "It's an action-adventure movie involving the military. It's not a war movie in any traditional sense," he says. But Rothman is just as quick to defend the film's patriotic virtues; he is, after all, a vocal supporter of the new Hollywood-Washington alliance, wherein studio heads agreed (in a Nov.11 meeting with White House adviser Karl Rove) to promote seven "ideals" suggested by the Bush administration, including volunteerism and support for the troops abroad. "There's no reason you can't have very valid positive stories about the military, the same way we've had very valid negative stories about the military." But according to director Moore, the original script was simply a very inauthentic story about the military--more to the point, it was "truly, truly, truly bad." The villains were wielding "long curved knives, drinking wine out of goatskins," and its gung ho heroes escaped from peril in a credulity-straining climax involving WWI biplanes. "But it was set in Bosnia. That's the only thing that interested me." Moore, a 31-year-old Irishman who won the gig largely on the strength of a 1999 commercial for the Sega Dreamcast, spent the mid-90s in the Balkans, shooting still photos (his work was displayed at a Dublin exhibition in 1997); he eventually departed after becoming what he disdainfully calls "a war tourist>" For him, the release of Behind Enemy Lines in the current climate has nothing to do with capitalizing on resurgent patriotism, and everything to do with showcasing a conflict that went largely unnoticed by the American public. (Until now: The United Artists import No Man's Land will also tackle Bosnia this holiday season). "There'll always be people holding placards saying this is insensitive, flag-waving horses___," Moore admits. "But I've been very interested in and horrified by those Balkan wars, and the way they'd been ignored by the West." In fact, one of Moore's favorite characters is the least pro-American of the lot, a NATO admiral who opposes a cavalry-style rescue operation because it could disrupt a peace deal. "He passionately believes it's not worth it for one man, whereas the American military view, as crystallized by Black Hawk Down, is 'Leave no man behind.' I tried to challenge that view a bit." Not that Behind Enemy Lines will be mistaken for a policy seminar. "This movie uses every once of modern technology to put you in the seat of an F-18," says Rothman. "And hell, that's cool. And I submit to you, that was cool before September 11, and it's cool after September 11." As for that modern technology, most of it was provided gratis by the Navy, a key factor in keeping the movie's budget down. "There's no location cost for shooting on an aircraft carrier," says Godfrey. "The production budget is $17 million, not counting about-the-line talent. The whole film's coming in for under $40 million. And it ended up looking like a $70 million film." Applying for material and advisory support from the Pentagon is a time-honored strategy for military films (Top Gun, Rules of Engagement, and Men of Honor all did it). In return for the assistance, Uncle Sam gets "a realistic and respectful treatment of the military," according to former Navy pilot and Behind Enemy Lines consultant Dave Kennedy. (That's why Hackman's Crimson Tide--which portrays a mutiny aboard a nuclear sub--didn't make the cut.) As it did for Men of Honor, the Navy can
negotiate to have a recruiting commercial, featuring clips from the movie, appended to the video release free of charge. In this era of patriotic make-nice between L.A. and D.C., such collaborations are enough to pique even the casual paranoiac. But the decision to join up with the service didn't come from the Illuminati or the Freemasons. Rather, it was director Moore, a military buff and critic of Hollywood's over-reliance on computer-generated wizardry, who decided he wanted the sort of authenticity--ground-to-air combat sequences, realistic command-chain politics, and, of course, the carrier itself--that could be attained only through cooperation. Also, he wanted the new F/A-18F Super Hornet. "This movie stars Gene Hackman, Owen Wilson, and the Super Hornet," says a gleeful Moore, who pushed the military to provide him with the jet. "The airplane we were physically using--I literally saw it in bubble wrap. It was that new." Chances are, it's been broken in by now. Super Hornets are currently seeing their first combat missions over Afghanistan; some may even be launching from the deck of the Carl Vinson, which was one of the first carriers to respond to the crisis. Over the Thanksgiving weekend, Fox screened the film for the carrier's crew (now on active duty in the Arabian Sea) in the cavernous hangar bay where, just nine months and one civilizational sea-change earlier, Wilson and Hackman played sailor for fun and profit. For the ship's crew, memories of last spring's moviemaking jaunt are probably cold comfort; but for all of us back home, it's nice to know that somewhere at sea, a CPO is admiring his autographed copy of Anaconda, while overhead, another bird catches the wire.
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Line of Duty Series 6 Episode 1 Review: Who Killed Gail Vella?
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This Line of Duty review contains spoilers.
Is this allowed? Somebody please check. Can Kate just leave AC-12? She’s a third of the operation. One of the three pyramids at Giza may as well stand up and walk away. The strawberry from Neapolitan ice cream, silver Olympic medals, degrees 240 – 360 of all circles… could they also just call it a day? Unacceptable. This is AC-12 we’re talking about. 12 as in four times three: the gaffer, Steve and Kate – the corners of the straight-backed, clean-nosed triangle of truth. 
No wonder Ted is feeling sore about it. The Super could barely bring himself to look at Fleming’s picture in this series six opener, the sight of those blue, blue eyes prompting him to mutter about loyalty and then change the subject to great wee girl Chloe, AC-12’s newest recruit. Last series’ investigation into ‘H’ clearly left a grubby stain on the unit’s reputation. How will Hastings react when he finds out that Steve also has one foot out the door?  
We can’t blame Steve for requesting a transfer to Jolly Rogerson’s Major Violent Crime unit. He’s currently living a life as grey as his waistcoat. He spends his days chasing up expenses receipts and his nights washing down blister packs of over-the-counter painkillers with premium lager. Meanwhile, Kate’s out there wearing the waistcoat of danger, complete with bullet proofing, reflective stripes and a radio. Who wouldn’t want to swap?
I’ll tell you who I wouldn’t swap places with right now: anybody. This is a new series of Line of Duty and we’re at the top of the toboggan run. Episode one is the push start, building up speed for the tortuous descent, sharp turns and bit at the end that goes so fast your ears fold back and you can taste blood. We’re going places, is the point, and after a year of hardly straying further than our front doors, I can’t be the only one willing to kiss the ground beneath AC-12’s feet. 
Now, what do they have for us this time? Operation Lighthouse: the unsolved murder of Gail Vella, a crusading journalist shot dead outside her home in the Kingsgate area a year ago. (Prematurely killing off guest stars is one of Line of Duty’s favourite tricks, but a series is usually polite enough to wait at least until it starts before doing so. Not in the case of Andi Osho’s Vella.)
After the first whiff of a clue in months, senior investigating officer DCI Joanne Davidson (new guest lead Kelly Macdonald) diverts the team on its way to collar the suspect to a suspicious-seeming side mission that loses precious time and potentially, their man. Did her spidey sense really start tingling at the split-second glimpse of a parked van, or was the armed robbery a planned distraction?
In addition, Davidson’s boss DSU Buckells (we’ve met him before) screws up the op paperwork, leaving a gap in surveillance coverage long enough to allow a Russian circus, let alone a single suspect, escape from the flat in question. Next, the Covert Human Intelligence Source (or CHIS. Keep up, this was all covered last term) able to ID the suspect is found very much pushed off a tall building.
What we need to know: Is Davidson deliberately obstructing the hunt for Vella’s killer, and is she working with Buckells to do it? 
Read more
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Line of Duty Series 5 Recap: Framing Ted Hastings
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In the ‘yes’ corner is PS Farida Jatri, a member of Davidson’s team who tips Steve off about her boss’ suspicious behaviour. We don’t know what Davidson is capable of, warns Jatri. But not so fast! Farida also turns out to be Davidson’s spurned, secret lover. Does that make her testimony likely to be more reliable, or less? Valuable insight, or axe to grind? 
In the ‘no’ corner is the fact that, after nicking Terry Boyle – a recurring Line of Duty character with Down’s Syndrome and a long-time associate of the OCG – and spending the episode pushing the theory that he was Vella’s obsessed stalker, Davidson let him walk. Until that moment, she’d looked guiltier than a dog with a cat’s tail hanging out of its mouth. Everything she’d done and said suggested that she was part of a plan to frame Terry while the real killer – likely one Michael Banks (a relative of series five OCG member Lee Banks?) – got away. In this theory, Banks shot Vella to stop her from exposing links between police officers and organised crime, and Terry was meant to be the OCG’s fall guy.
At this stage in proceedings though, any theory is a just house of sticks waiting to be blown away by big bad wolf Jed Mercurio. Maybe Farida will be revealed as the killer. Maybe Terry really did do it. Maybe new DC Chloe Bishop is Tommy Hunter’s long-lost granddaughter here to bring down AC-12 from the inside. Maybe they need to focus on hunting down this Mike Indigo fellow everybody keeps talking about on their police radio. Right now, we simply can’t know. It’s just a case of keeping our eyes open and taking everything down in a little notebook.
A few things to note down: 1) Steve’s painkiller addiction – a hangover from the serious injuries he sustained in series four and a potential weak spot for the DS. 2) The missing freezer from Terry’s flat, which we know used to contain the corpse of series one’s Jackie Laverty. 3) Jo Davidson’s Fort Knox-levels of door security and complicated feelings about that family photo. 4) Kate’s separation from Mark, and that little hand stroke from Davidson at the end. 5) Terry being told he’ll be safe in secure accommodation (will he?).
The ‘Kate’s in another unit but not undercover’ twist aside, this hour bore similarities to some previous series openers. Both two and five started with disaster-struck police convoys deliberately diverted by female officers in the pay of the OCG. The character of Michael Farmer in series four also gave us the interrogation of a young murder suspect with a learning disability. Would a drama this well-tuned into its own detail and history not care about repeating itself? Doubtful. Line of Duty knows that its audience pays it the same level of attention that a Labrador pays to somebody eating a Jaffa Cake; if we’re being led to draw comparisons, there’ll likely be a reason, and it’ll likely be to pull the rug out from under us.
Does Davidson bear similarities to past leads? She’s less of a cold fish than Lindsay Denton – see that banter with Kate in the opening scene – but like her, lives alone with a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc for company. She’s as commanding as Roz Huntley – whom you could also imagine asking a churlish underling if the word “ma’am” was in their vocabulary – but more emotive and less inscrutable. (Huntley would never have lost control enough to respond “shit, shit, shit” to the armed robber being shot, or exploded like that in Buckells’ office.) Innocent, or up to her neck in it? That’s what we’re here to find out.
The game with Line of Duty at this stage is to keep the important things the same (long, tense interrogation scenes; naturalistic jargon; exhilarating doc-style action; Ted taking any opportunity to mention pipe bands, Tayto Crisps or Gloria Hunniford…), while getting us hooked on a new lead and a new mystery. Episode one? Job done. In the words of the Super: I’m gonna need more, son.
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Still have questions? Read our weekly episode theories explainer here. Line of Duty continues on Sunday the 28th of March at 9pm on BBC One.
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