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#Trent Crimm
laiqualaurelote · 3 days
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Ok but for the file thing, I'm DYING to know more about "The first thing Isaac chopped in half with his hand was the BELIEVE sign" pls <3
thank you for this ask for the WIP game! this is an extremely cracky AU in which the Richmond Players all start manifesting superpowers.
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The first thing Isaac chopped in half with his hand was the BELIEVE sign. The second was Zoreaux.
To be fair to Isaac, he had failed to chop Jamie in half. (More on this later.) Thus, while Jamie went off to sulk and Zoreaux ambled up to poke at the broken sign saying, “Maybe we can make a new one?” Isaac thought nothing of clapping him on the back and replying, “Sure thing, bruv.”
His hand went through Zoreaux like a hot knife through butter. Zoreaux didn’t exactly fall apart, but he did sort of peel away in two halves like a melted clock in a Dalí painting. He was screaming the whole time. It was the modern art mash-up nobody wanted to see.
Isaac gaped at him in horror. The other players were yelling. “Bro! What did you do!”
“I didn’t – ” began Isaac. 
Zoreaux was still screaming. Weirdly, there was no blood or anything. The edges of him seemed to have been pinched off, like Play-doh.
“We must put him back together!” shouted Dani. He and Richard were on their knees, trying to jam the two halves of Zoreaux back together, only Zoreaux seemed to be drooping and stretching through their fingers. “Mon dieu,” gasped Richard. “He is like cheese! But not good cheese! Like the cheap mozzarella from Pizza Express!”
“Osti de tabarnak de sacrament!” shrieked Zoreaux. “What the fuck is happening!”
“I got the duct tape!” called Will, rushing in. He tossed the roll to Sam, who began trying to tape Zoreaux back together as the rest of the players rushed in to try and help. 
“Wait, wait.” Something was happening as Sam’s hands brushed against the halves of Zoreaux. They seemed to be melding back together. “Sam!” cried Dani. “It’s you! You are healing him!”
“Wow,” said Sam, staring at his hands as they knit Zoreaux back together. “Wait, I need to make sure he’s aligned properly. Can I get more light?”
Everyone was temporarily blinded as Dani burst into a blazing ball of brilliance.
“...okay,” said Sam after some time, “way more light than I needed, but thank you.”
“De nada, Sam!” 
It was at this point that Trent Crimm walked into the room. He stopped and put on his glasses, as if that would clarify the tableau of the AFC Richmond team duct-taping their cloven goalkeeper together while one of their strikers was blazing like a lighthouse beacon and their captain stood in the corner with his hands apologetically raised in the air. 
“What,” said Trent, “the actual fuck?”
*
Trent’s first thought was that he would have to re-pitch his book as a fantasy novel, because nobody was going to take it seriously as non-fiction any more.
“So you’ve got healing hands,” he repeated to Sam.
“I think so?” Sam stared at his hands. “Or maybe I just have the ability to stick things back together. I don’t know. Perhaps I should test it on another injury?”
Across the locker room, O’Brien cleared his throat. “Sam? Can you touch my butt?”
Trent and the players turned to stare at him. 
“Not for gay reasons,” O’Brien clarified. “For science.”
“Both of those are valid,” said Sam. “I would be happy to touch your butt for you.”
Trying to ignore O’Brien casually dropping trou in the corner, Trent removed his spectacles and pinched the bridge of his nose. Dani’s brightness was giving him a migraine. “I’m sorry, bruv,” said Isaac to Zoreaux for the thousandth time.
“It’s okay,” said Zoreaux. They had yet to remove the duct tape, just in case, so he looked like a very poorly-wrapped package. “It didn’t actually hurt. I was just freaking out, bro.”
Babatunde was holding on to Zoreaux’s little finger and walking across the room while Bumbercatch followed him with a measuring tape to see how far the finger could stretch. “Three metres!” yelled Bumbercatch as Richard tried to cross the room to his locker and ended up having to do the limbo under the finger. “Okay, take it around the corner!”
“I just thought,” went on Isaac, “‘cos I touched Jamie, and I didn’t chop him in half…” He trails off.
“What?” said Jamie. And then, as Isaac made a move towards him, “Whoa! Are you fucking mental?”
“Sorry.” Isaac backed off. 
“Could I test a theory?” ventured Trent. “Bearing in mind that I mean this as a purely scientific inquiry.”
“Sure,” said Jamie. “Whatev – oi!” he yelled as Trent stabbed him in the hand with his pen.
The pen snapped in two. Ink splattered over Jamie’s hand, the skin of which remained unbroken. Jamie screwed up his nose. “That’s disgusting, man.”
“I think you’re invulnerable, Jamie,” said Trent.
Jamie considered this. “That mean I can’t be hurt?”
“I believe so, yes. We’ll have to run more tests to be sure.”
“Huh,” said Jamie. “Sick.”
“It worked!” O’Brien yelled from across the room. “It’s a miracle! I’m healed!”
“Okay,” said Trent wearily, “so we’ve got…five superpowers that have manifested so far. Anybody else feel a superpower coming on?”
“I got one,” called out Jan Maas. “I’m always right.”
The locker room erupted in laughter. “Shut the fuck up, Jan Maas,” they chorused.
Jan shrugged. “I’m just saying.”
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skulandcrossbones · 1 year
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And I know we can’t fix every ache inside of us, but I shouldn’t have to pretend it’s not there, either. TED LASSO S03E06: SUNFLOWERS
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hgedits · 1 year
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What a fucking dork. Yeah, but he's our dork.
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politelymenacing · 11 months
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I love him so much.
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wildsflag · 3 months
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bugsbutch · 11 months
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no but the way they portrayed Trent as an Elder GayTM was so good. The way, immediately after he finds out about Colin, we see his clothing get more and more visibly queer, we see him clock every little glimpse Colin lets through, we see him with his gay little rainbow mug... and the whole time all Trent is doing is signaling: i’m here, i’m safe, me too, me too. And so, when he finally follows Colin to have that conversation —in a random bar, just the two of them, in an entirely different city because that’s the safest place for it— he comes and hears about the LGBTQ party and says “that sounds fun, I’m in” and he’s really just trying to let Colin casually know me too me too me too but Colin is too terrified and too used to lying and then Trent has to be straightforward and finally they get to talk and Trent doesn’t give lessons or pass on wisdom or tell him to come out, he asks “how do you do it?” and basically just checks in to see if Colin is alright, and he listens, and he shares his own story, and that’s it. They party, they go home. And all Trent did was offer Colin a little bit of safety and let him know: me too.
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darwinsfinchesx · 1 year
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Colin Hughes & Trent Crimm
Ted Lasso | 3.06 'Sunflowers'
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waystar-royco · 1 year
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love trent sitting in the locker room drinking out of his rainbow mug wearing a dolly parton shirt while everyone is like statistically there must be one more gay in this room who could it possibly be
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atorionsbelt · 11 months
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me when i’m an actor who passionately endorses the gay shipping of my own character with his repressed narrative foil onscreen and am not afraid to say it
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skulandcrossbones · 1 year
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Roy chose out. I assumed.
TED LASSO S03E08: WE'LL NEVER HAVE PARIS
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sassy1121 · 1 year
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hgedits · 1 year
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how it started -> how it's going
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hilsoncrater · 1 year
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lamardeuse · 1 year
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I could write whole fucking essays about Ted Lasso’s nuanced exploration of class and masculinity and the myriad ways in which men are socialized to hurt one another through the medium of sport but because I’m lazy as hell I simply present these two screencaps in which the boy who was probably bullied in showers just like this one learns that he was, in this instance, the bully. This is so much more than a pandemic era feel-good comedy, I’m just - yeah. Holy shit.
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