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thetravelerwrites · 5 years

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Monster Match 15

The Traveler's Masterlist

For @severedreamerbeard: “I don't really think I need to tell you what my pronouns and orientation are, so we'll skip over that. As far as a short description goes, I'm thin as a twig, and decently tall. I'm not that great with social interactions, I can't hold a conversation and I get tongue-tied frequently when speaking, which isn't fun at all. My hobbies are all pretty dorky, being playing D&D, reading fanfics, and playing video games for most of my free time. As far as likes in dislikes in partner, it's pretty much all in the personality. Humor and doing goofy things are top notch, along with being a general sweetheart. If I'm honest, I'm not sure if I have any specific dislikes that come to mind, mostly from an utter lack of experience in the dating field. And as far as sfw/nsfw, that's your choice, I don't really mind.”

You’ve been matched with a mimic!

You loved old video games. You’d go to your local game store to scour for old games people had forgotten. You didn’t know why, but they instilled a certain sense of innate nostalgia in you, even though you hadn’t played most of them, since some had come out before you’d even been born.

“Hey, man,” The clerk, Tucker, called out. “You won’t believe what someone just sold me.”

“What?” You asked, coming to the counter with your items.

“A copy of ‘Red Knight’s War,’” Tucker said, ringing you up.

“You’re kidding me!” You exclaimed. “I thought most of them were destroyed. Wasn’t there some kind of urban legend that it was haunted or something?”

“Yeah,” Tucker said. “People really bought into the hype, too. I think there are only, like, fifty left in existence.”

“Dude, I have to have that. How much?”

Tucker pursed his lips and thought about it. “How about a hundred bucks?”

“You’re off your nut if you think I’m paying that,” You scoffed. “I’ll give you ten bucks.”

“Please, I could get an easy two hundred off eBay,” Tucker said.

“Well, then, sell it on eBay,” You told him. “I’m sure you’ll have plenty of bidders for an obscure game that most people aren’t even aware exist and the ones that do think it’s haunted.”

“Dude, that just makes it tastier!” Tucker insisted. “Fifty bucks, and I’m being kind with that offer.”

“Thirty. Seriously, it’s a coin toss as to whether you’d actually find someone online who wants this, whereas I have cash now. There’s something to be said for instant gratification.”

“Forty. That’s as low as I’m gonna go, man,” Tucker said, folding his arms.

You blew out your breath. “Fine, fine, I’ll take it. You’re lucky I respect you as a business man.”

“Pfft,” Tucker snickered. “Yeah, whatever. Here.”

He handed you the clear cartridge that had been completely sealed with scotch tape.

“Whoa,” You said.

“Yeah,” Tucker replied with a strange look. “The guy that sold it happily took five bucks for it. He was super weird.”

“Eh, aren’t we all. Thanks, Tuck,” You said as you took your purchases and made your way to the door.

“See you later, man. If it does end up haunted, you have to tell me.”

You waved as if to say sure, sure, and headed home.

When you got back to your apartment, you immediately got out a box cutter and slit open the cellotape that encased the game disk. Red Knight’s War was one of the first MMORPGs, but it got overshadowed by World of Warcraft and Runescape. When it came out, you’d just started first grade, so you weren’t exactly a wiz on the computer. You don’t even think your parents had a computer back then.

You checked the disk, which was in pristine condition, then booted up your computer. Putting the disk into the slot, you heard the whirring sound as it started up. There was the title screen, the loading screen, which gave way to the character customization screen. You spent a a good chunk of time making your character look as close to you as possible, even though the rough early 2000’s graphics made it difficult.

Then, into the actual gameplay. It was a typical dungeon trawler, nothing surprising. You played a little for a while when a message popped up on the onscreen chat box.

>Who are you?”

Odd. You hadn’t switched on the multi-player option yet. Maybe the game was multi-player by default. You typed in your first name and asked them theirs.

>Tarna, The replied. That was a strange name. Maybe it was their screenname, although the screenname in the chat box seemed to be random numbers and letters. >It’s been a very long time since I’ve seen someone here.

>I’m not surprised, you said. >Everyone thinks this game is haunted.

>It’s not, Tarna said. >Humans are just superstitious, apparently.

>Are you in-game? You asked. >I only see NPCs.

>I’m a mimic. I’m in the corner over there.

You looked, and you did see a treasure chest standing on two spindly legs, its long arms swaying as if bored. As your character walked up to it, it waved. But it seemed to be waving at you, not your character.

>Wanna team up? You typed into the chat.

>Yes! I’m so happy to have someone else to play with again!

Their enthusiasm was both endearing and a little sad. You wondered if this had been their favorite game, if they’d waited all this time for someone else to come online to play with. That must have been lonely.

>Let’s go, buddy! You typed.

For the next few weeks, you played Red Knight’s War with Tarna every evening after work. They were always online, and always happy to see you. Sometimes, you wouldn’t even actually play the game, you’d just talk to each other in the chat. There was still a lot about them that you didn’t know. They didn’t divulge a lot of personal information, and you could respect that. You were just a stranger on the internet, after all.

One day, though, you came online ready to slay some liches, but you were met with a message already in the chat box.

>Can we talk?

This was already unusual, because they waited for you to speak first before starting gameplay, but the nature of the question had you a little uneasy.

>Of course. What’s up?

>I feel like I should come clean.

You frowned. >Come clean about what?

>I haven’t lied to you exactly, but I haven’t told you everything about me. I’m worried that if you knew the truth about me, it would scare you off.

>There’s not a lot you could say that would scare me.

>You say that now, They said. >The fact of the matter is, there’s a reason people think this game is haunted.

>Which is?

>Honestly, it’s easier if I show you.

>Show me how?

>Take the disk out of the computer and put it on the ground.

You scoffed to yourself. >Are you serious?

>Trust me. Just don’t freak out, okay?

>Okay…

You shut down the game and ejected it. It lay there in the disk tray. You felt a little silly, but you took the disk and lay it, image down, on the floor and waited.

Suddenly, it seemed to melt into some sort of grey goo. The goo began to grow and warp and rise up, and you fell backward into your chair with a yelp.

“Wait, you said you wouldn’t freak out!” The grey goo said. It started to take on human form. It solidified into the form of… you, right down to the work vest you’d failed to remove when you got home. It put out its arms to placate you. “I’m not going to hurt you. Calm down, please.”

You were still sitting in your gaming chair, gripping the armrests and panting in fear. “What the hell are you?”

“I’m a mimic,” The copy of you said.

“Mimics are treasure chests in dungeons! Not game disks or… or me!”

It sighed. “Treasure chests are the most common form we take, historically, because we were hired to protect people’s vaults and and hordes. We were decoys to distract looters from the real treasure, but we don’t have an actual physical form other than amorphous blobs. In our original state, we’re just… slime.”

“How did you even know what I look like?” You asked.

They pointed. “Your webcam. You really ought to cover it when you’re not using it.”

You head fell into your hands and you massaged your forehead. “So…” You said slowly, trying to wrap your mind around what was happening. “Why were you a game disk? How did you even function?”

“Mimics can take on the form of anything they touch down to a microscopic level. When I took on the form of the game disk, I copied the tiny grooves and divots that made up the game’s information. That’s why I could run on your computer.”

“But why where you a game disk?”

She sighed. “When money changed from gold and jewels to paper kept in large banks, mimics no longer had jobs. Most people had negative misconceptions about us, so we were driven underground. Some took on human forms, but that was risky since in the modern times, everything is electronic and number based. Getting fake ID’s and social security numbers were difficult because, even though we guarded money, we had none of our own. We kept to the shadows, but it was a pretty lonely existence.

“One of us had managed to integrate into society and was working as a game developer in the early 2000’s and had the idea for some of us to become game disks as a method of interacting with other people in a safe way. I guess it backfired…” The copy of me sighed. “A lot of us were destroyed and the ones that weren’t were either locked away or kept as oddities. After talking with you…” They looked down. “I was hoping we could be friends.”

“I… you… look, can you change into something else? Talking to… myself… feels a little weird.”

“Oh, sure,” They said, and began to shift and morph. When they finished, they were a woman slightly shorter than you with dark skin, brown hair, and brown eyes. They were wearing a sapphire blue business-type dress, close fitted and knee length with matching heels.

“Wait, are you male or female?” You asked them.

“Mimics don’t have a gender in our original form, but we can become any gender we choose.” Their voice had changed, too; it was musical sounding.

“Is Tarna your real name?”

“Yes,” They replied. “I’ve never lied to you, just… omitted some important facts about myself.”

You rubbed the back of your neck. “I can get that, I guess. If I had your history, I’d be cautious too.” You squinted up at them. “Why did you decide to reveal yourself? That was a hell of a risk.”

They shifted a little, uncomfortable. “Honestly… I… I’ve started to… develop feelings for you.”

Stunned, you sat up straight and your arms rested on your knees with your hands dangling between your legs. “Feelings?”

“Oh, I don’t expect you to reciprocate,” She said hurriedly. “But you seemed like the kind of person who would accept me, and I wanted to be your friend. Not just in the game, but in real life. I apologize if that’s not something you want, but… it’s hard to keep your feelings in and never tell someone the truth, you know?”

“Yeah, I totally get that,” You said quietly. You stood up. “You really have feelings for me?”

They fidgeted. “Yeah.” They avoided your eye. “Sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” You asked. “You can’t help who you like.”

They looked up hopefully. “I can be anything you like. I can be a man or a woman, I can have any color hair and eyes, I can be tall or short, anything you want, I can be that.”

You held up a hand to stop them. “Don’t worry about me. What do you want to be?”

They looked down at themselves, and then back up at you. “I rather like this form.”

“Then be this form,” You said, smiling. “Who is that, by the way?”

“It’s an amalgamation of different people, actually.”

“So it’s unique to you, then?”

The grinned slowly. “Yeah, I guess it is.”

You smiled too and held out your hand. “Nice to meet you, Tarna.”

They laughed shyly and took your hand gingerly. “Nice to meet you, too.”

You took Tarna on a real date that night. They were shy out in public around other humans, even while wearing a human guise, but they were so happy to be spending time with you outside of the game. You learned that they only needed to eat when they took on a form that needed to eat, like humans or animals. You asked them a ton of questions, and they were happy to answer every one, grateful that you weren’t afraid.

At the end of the date, you said, “We should find the others.”

“What?” They said.

“The other mimics trapped as games. We should find them and free them.”

A smile formed on their face, but they said, “That might be difficult.”

“That never stopped me. You in?”

A wide smile split their face. “Absolutely.

To get your own Monster Match, buy me a Kofi!

Since my work is no longer searchable, please do me a favor and reblog this story if you enjoyed it. Help me reach a wider audience! To help me continue creating, please consider becoming a Patron or donating directly to my PayPal.

Thanks for reading!

My Masterlist

The Exophilia Creator’s Masterlist

#Exophilia #Reader Insert #Male Reader #Mimic #Interspecies Romance #Genderfluid #Genderfluid Monster #Monster Match #Kofi Monster Matches

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blookmallow · 5 years

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i made a shitty khajit to do the rude shit im too nice to do on my other file lmao

----

this is ragweed hes a thief and general public nuisance who doesnt like anybody. interested in alchemy. doesn’t want to be on anybody’s side but his own

i want him to be friends with medea even though they obviously can’t actually coexist in the same universe lmao

playing the intro again helped a LOT with like. processing what the fuck even happened and also i noticed the dragon both has a name and can apparently talk??

like im guessing this one is an Important Dragon so thats why he has a name and the others dont, and like. yeah the shouts are. dragon words so it makes sense that they have language but. idk there’s something really odd about “monstrous beasts” and “named creatures intelligent enough to have language” being true of the same thing

anyway i now understand that there’s actually two options for which guy to follow out of helgen, you can go with hadvar who is an imperial soldier who sympathized with you but still helped lead you to what was supposed to be your death, or ralof who is one of your fellow prisoners and is a stormcloak soldier

either one leads you along basically the same path and they’re weirdly both from riverwood but don’t seem to know each other??

i didn’t even realize there were two guys calling out to me in the chaos the first time i played. so. medea just blindly followed hadvar because she didn’t see ralof there, hadvar helped her and was kind to her, and she doesn’t understand the politics involved and doesn’t know what she was arrested for in the first place so she feels maybe the imperials had a good reason for wanting to kill her, but still doesn’t trust anyone who leads prisoners to execution without telling them why

but she’s kinder toward them because of hadvar (and she was so confused and disoriented she doesn’t realize he was one of the main officers involved in the execution either)

ragweed however followed ralof, saw hadvar but went NNNNOPE FUCK THAT GUY. he’s actually fond of ralof now and is VERY much on a “FUCK THE IMPERIALS” mindset after what they did to him. headcanoning he just kinda got roped into that whole mess like the other thief did

boy needs some better clothes :’)

for a while i was doing a thing where he’d steal the shoes off every corpse he came across (or created) just to fuck with people like “who’s going around taking all these shoes” but then i got tired of it bc obviously the npcs dont actually notice that happening and it wasnt that funny

so now his new hobby is stealing every egg he can find. when he gets a house hes just going to have this huge pile of eggs

hes not an Evil person hes just very very morally suspect and does not have any reservations about stealing from pretty much anyone. doesnt hurt people without cause but Will at any provocation

also one of the first things that happened on this file was me discovering a cave/bandit hideout/whatever this was that i hadnt seen before, and falling in a pit full of khajit corpses specifically, which seems very particularly ominous,

i was wandering around and came across some of the companions looking over a dead giant and they were immediately mad at me for not helping with it buT THIS WAS ON RAGWEED’S FILE AND HE HADN’T EVEN BEEN TO WHITERUN YET, SO HE DOESN’T KNOW THEM AND ALSO IT WAS DEAD BEFORE I EVEN REALIZED THEY WERE HERE :’)

and like. he doesnt have a reputation or anything yet nobody knows who the fuck he is except for ralof. who does this “YOU THERE. RANDOM GUY I HAVE NEVER SEEN BEFORE. WHY THE FUCK DIDN’T YOU HELP US” like damn you’re not yelling at the farmers for slacking off

look at all them skelemens

meanwhile medea got attacked by cultists suddenly. i killed them and stole their cool masks

sick

this deer isnt afraid of me at all,

ALL HAIL

I GOT HEARTS!!!!! FUCK YEAH!!!!

there was a. mentally ill guy looking for his sister and i eventually found. her remains, among which was An Actual Human Heart, im not sure if it was Her heart (there were no other organs there she was just a skeleton tho so this seems unlikely) or what and then when i brought her pendant back to him to explain what i found he gave me ANOTHER HEART with no explanation

i have no fucking idea whats going on in this family but im psyched about hearts

i also realized you can fuCKIGN EAT!!!! THE HEARTS (because they’re also alchemy ingredients) so. i absolutely did just eat a human heart i found in a river

i put the other one on my table. lydia was unconcerned

i noticed some of my skulls are different sizes??

MY BABY GOT ME A DAGGER

nice

,,,,so is it. blood, or,

#lucy plays skyrim #scooby dooby queue #i have so fucking much skyrim piling up this is a mess

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esmerelle-blog · 5 years

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Looking For Contact: Esmerelle Graye

( Esmerelle Graye by Soleilloo )

[ Please Boost if you can/want! ]

[Character Information]

Name: Esmerelle Graye

Gender: Female

Species: Afflicted Human (although she’d deny being worgen)

Nationality: Gilnean

Age: 22

Orientation: Pansexual/Panromantic

Marital Status: Single

Fluent Language(s): Common

Semi-Fluent Language(s): Darnassian (or so she claims)

Eye Color: Bright Green

Hair Color: Red

Height: 5'6

Profession: “Friendship Bringer”

Summary:

A cheerfully clumsy gilnean that dreams of adventure and making Azeroth a ‘better place’, Esmerelle bears the hallmarks of one who could be described as ‘obnoxiously optimistic’; some find her a delight while others find the young woman’s almost unshakably sunny disposition painful... there seems to be no in between. Dismissed from the druidic orders for reasons known only to her former Shan’do, this peculiar looking young woman wanders Stormwind and its surrounding countryside performing odd jobs and delivering parcels in exchange for necessary goods, services, and coin. She is most certainly not squatting on the edge of the lake just outside the cemetery.

Physical Description:

Perhaps a hair taller than the usual for a girl of twenty-two winters, Esmerelle exists as a not-so-average specimen of Gilnean stock. Long of limb, her frame holds to a more slender--perhaps athletic--build, a gesture towards what one might find of a physically active person. The young woman’s attire is, however, certainly not becoming of her frame; the simple leathers are mostly too large and appear more akin to heavily used hand-me-downs versus regular clothing.

Her features are rounded and set with full lips and wide eyes hued bright green; the faint tracings of bags underline them, a sure sign that she perhaps does not sleep well. Heavy multitudes of dark freckles grace the length and breadth of her tanned skin, concentrated most over nose and cheeks.

A healthy mop of dark red hair is cropped unevenly and left to flop in a careless manner about her shoulders and head. Peculiarly, ruddy feathers of various lengths seem to be growing from her scalp in random places, poking through her hair alongside various bits of leaves and twigs that seem to have snagged. These feathers appear to move in tandem with her emotions, how odd!

When she smiles--and goodness does she smile quite a bit!--Esmerelle’s upper and lower canines are found to be a bit more lengthy and angular than one might expect, while the nails upon fingers and toes are somewhat thick, overgrown and tapered at the tips to resemble minuscule claws. Strangely--or not so strangely--footwear seems a foreign thing to her, as one will almost always find her barefoot.

Positive Traits: Goofy, Optimistic, Chummy, Loyal, Diligent, Kind

Negative Traits: Spontaneous, Gullible, Reckless, Clumsy, Over-Protective

[OOC Information]

In Game Name, Faction & Server: [A] Esmerelle, Wymrest Accord US (if enough interest is merited Horde-side I will create a Horde toon for in-game cross-faction RP)

Sole/Cross-Faction: Cross-Faction; However! With the recent destruction of Teldrassil plus what occurred with Gilneas, Esmerelle is not likely to be friendly with any Forsaken or those openly loyal to the Banshee Queen.

Availability: I’m on the PST/PDT timezone with a slight preference for evenings and nights, and my schedule can be crazy hectic and change randomly but don’t let that stop you! I will always communicate to the best of my ability!

Looking For: Patient, Communicative, Long-Term RP Contacts/Buddies. A new Shan’do, Companions/Friends, Enemies/Antagonists, Possible Love Interest(s)**, Adventures!. Storylines in general!

**Please Note: While I am open to Elle eventually falling in love, any romance that could possibly occur will NOT be immediate nor forced. It must happen organically over the course of RP and should absolutely be in the background to the bigger story.

RP Style(s): I have a tendency (and strong preference) towards descriptive emotes in the Paragraph/Novella style. One on one or small group RPs in a private setting are my preference due to my go-to posting style, although I do my best to make my emotes smaller in public settings! I tend to try and plan times/dates to RP to work around schedules.

I adore RPing/creating NPCs to use as plot-tools or scene enhancers, and I invite those I’m RPing with to use them in their posts as well! I’m a huge fan of lore-bending as long as it makes sense, so please don’t hide your more different character ideas from me!

My strongest preference is to RP in-game, but I will RP over tumblr and Discord. I sometimes pre-write pieces of my next posts, but in general I am a somewhat slow-typist so patience is absolutely requested of anyone interested in RPing with me! ^_^

In general, please ASK if you have questions!

Themes: I participate in and enjoy most themes, Esmerelle is a more lighthearted character so please keep that in mind. PLEASE ask if you’re curious about something in particular!

Will Not RP: Non-con and animal/child torture and abuse in detail. References to these horrid things are fine, but nothing beyond. I prefer not to RP with underage PCs; children as NPCs in a story/plot are fine though! If you’re unsure about something, please ask! Communication is key!

Guild: Esmerelle is not currently involved with any RP guilds, I would LOVE to get her involved with one that fits her character.

Important Extras: I am well over age and would prefer to RP with those 21+. OOC communication is extremely important to me, and I will always do my best to communicate with my partners and I hope for the same in return! I still adore WoW and play it in the PvE aspect, so I am always a friend one can actually play the game with!

Contact Method(s): Message here on Tumblr or PM/Mail Esmerelle in game!

Thank you!

@wraconnect @wracentral

#Esmerelle Graye #Looking For Contact #Wyrmrest Accord #Worgen #Druid

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ghostmartyr · 6 years

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Pokémon White Randomized Nuzlocke Run [Part 11]

We have made it to post-game!

Sort of!

The plot done away with, now is the time to explore the rest of the map and wrap up the entire run with one last go at the Elite Four in their final form!

Our main contestants are

still spoiler tagged!

for maximum worrying.

Let’s get marching.

Back in the room where it all began. I wonder if this beginning will also start with my friends running in unannounced and starting a battle with me. ...That would be bad, it’d better not.

...Looker. I’m gonna level with you.

I don’t wanna be a junior detective.

He’s still on the trail of Team Plasma, and has decided to assign us the task of tracking down the Seven Sages. He also gives us a Super Rod. I don’t think we could fish before this, which is kind of an odd feature for a pokemon game.

Looker’s a nut, but an endearing nut.

Ah yes, my besties.

And hey, Professor Juniper’s dad shows up to upgrade my pokedex! Half my team will no longer be without numbers!

So. Now what.

Which really means, do I let Buzz Fly me to Nimbasa or Opelucid?

I think the Nimbasa route will contain a bridge.

We’re going on the bridge.

Though before we do that, I want to check out the train area again to see if the IV person is there now that I’ve beaten the plot. I’m probably just misremembering their entire existence, but I could have sworn someone was down there.

DUDE! LOOK AT WHO’S RIGHT!

Okay okay okay we’ve got to give this a full check.

Frogger is above average, with fantastic Attack and Special Attack. Rojo is decent, with very good Special Defense. Tock is above average with very good Special Attack. Fido is above average with HP that ‘can’t be better.’ That explains a few numbers. Batman is above average with fantastic HP. Palm is above average with fantastic Speed.

Rojo, you poor, useless legendary.

You are still one of the most broken things on the team, and I love you for it.

That’s more rounded than I expected, honestly. I figured a few of them would just be terrible, and maybe one would be extraordinary, but it’s above average across the board. Which is. kind of average. Pokemon NPCs are kind people.

APTLY NAMED BRIDGE. ALSO KNOWN AS A NEW ROUTE, LET’S GO FEATHER DROPS.

The dude offering me a Magikarp to buy does not count as the first encounter. Also, I did not buy it. It is not randomized, and as we all know that means it’s awful.

That’s pretty much my reaction, word for word.

Ghetsis told them to give me the Adamant Orb. And the Lustrous Orb. And the Griseous Orb. I think those are... Diamond and Pearl’s legendary special items?

Then the ninja zoom away after telling me we’ll never meet again.

That’s one lazy way to get rid of ninja. I could have sworn I fought them once... wait, did I? That seems like something I could go back and check. Eh, whatever.

Speaking of lazy things, was Team Plasma having a giant castle ever explained? I feel like it wasn’t. I’m okay with that, I just want to know.

The inclusion of the wings you can pick up on bridges were really helpful to EV training. I don’t know how many hours I would spend biking on bridges, and frankly the answer would likely depress me, but picking up all those feather things was so useful.

Of course, I have no real use for them at the moment. I’m trying to find a pokemon in those shadows.

I found one!

Look at you, little adorable guy. Oh, girl.

Quick Ball, then faint if that doesn’t work.

Caught her!

What’s your name, though... gotta go with something musical... I dub thee Pink.

Some girl in the gateway area wants to have a Rotation Battle with me. Like a fool, I say yes, and--

Oh shit.

I was kidding when I called myself a fool, but no, yes, that classification stands. Ahahaha. Um. Okay so after this, I’m gonna. Gonna go to Opelucid instead, maybe.

I didn’t even look at Pink’s level when I caught her. It was all Quick Ball action and ignorance. Could I have been forewarned?

This is bad.

Rotation Battles in general irk me. Rotation Battles that place me at a considerable level disadvantage are. something else. Oy.

Um.

I think the Alomomola might have Water Absorb. But Frogger is the most likely to survive whatever awful thing is about to happen. So that limits me to attacking with Mud Shot or Hyper Voice until the Alomomola is downed. It’s a Normal move. It isn’t going to do much against a Steel type, and it doesn’t do much against Beheeyem either, but I think one of those probably has Levitate for their Ability.

Frogger should not be in front.

He is staying in front.

So far, none of these things are using an actual attack, which I’m grateful for.

As I say that, Alomomola uses Hydro Pump. Frogger’s still green, so. Yeah.

Frogger just keeps using Hyper Voice. He’s going to run out of PP for it. Oh well.

Next Hydro Pump gets him low enough to warrant a Hyper Potion.

Beheeyem uses Power Split. Beheeyem’s not bad and this one is a higher level, so I’m not sure how bad that is.

Good news! Nothing has Levitate, and the Klinklang is defeated!

Alomomola is also defeated!

Beheeyem is defeated!

Yikes.

That only went so well because the other trainer almost never used attacks. It was all status stuff except for Hydro Pump, which missed twice. Something would be dead if a human trainer had been guiding those move choices.

I think I’m going to go outside and check what the wild life is like. It’s possible that the huge level difference is an artificial thing with this one trainer, rather than the norm. I mean, her AI virtually never attacked me. So I’ll hold off on going to Opelucid until I get a look at what other people have.

It could also be that I am underleveled for post-game life.

One thing at a time.

Exploring time.

Oh. That guy’s a trainer. He has a level 62 Gulpin.

Okay, so I’m not comfortably leveled for this, but as long as I don’t fall into a Rotation Battle or a Triple Battle, I have items, and the exp will be worthwhile. I think I’ll keep going, with special attention paid to caution. Maybe something in the grass can help me out with some mild grinding.

I biked all the way back to a Pokemon Center.

That is how much confidence I am feeling.

Something should have a Lucky Egg, but I don’t even know if it’s safe to be here, let alone who my front runner should be.

...Fine, it’s Frogger, never mind.

I’m sorry Frogger, I have no idea why I’m so uninterested in cultivating you. I should be better about not taking you for granted and appreciate that you are the one true survivor of this squad.

It’s just you’re also level 60. So not the thing most in need of exp.

Hello possible new friend. It’s level 48, so I think it might be that the post-game sections just have a level jump for trainers. Delightful.

Quick Ball ftw, Baltoy is now Woody.

Munna’s also in this grass. I can’t help but notice these things are not great for grinding.

Trainer with a level 65 Altaria.

I think Rojo might need to try to handle it before anything more creatively unfortunate happens. Altaria’s a Special Defense pokemon, and I think has a few really great Defense-boosting stat moves. If I let it, it can sweep.

It might also be able to kill Rojo in one hit already, but.

Argh, I hate this, lol.

Rojo, go in, if something happens I’m sorry in advance.

Yeeeeeah this Altaria is doing what I thought it would and I don’t care for it. Dragon Dance plus the Cotton thing that drastically raises Defense. .I am afeared. It uses another Dragon Dance.

Oh good job Rojo. Critical hit for the save. Good job, good job.

Abomasnow is up next.

Fido, you’re up.

Fido eats it.

You know. I like this better when I’m not chronicling every single fight out of the fear of imminent death. The next trainer looks like a Fighting one, so Tock is moved to the first slot.

Are you fucking kidding me.

New plan!

We’re murdering legendaries for breakfast!

Because exp!

Side note: Air Slash has 95 accuracy. Why is it always missing.

...Oh fuck.

I hecked up. Badly. Oh fuck. no.

I thought. Tock would out-Speed. Which I would have realized was a stupid thought if I had actually spent any time thinking about Tock’s features and the fact that the Hitmontop has eight levels on him.

I thought about healing him. Those missed Air Slashes left a lot of damage.

You know what also leaves a lot of damage.

STAB Close Combat.

Stop. thinking. “oh I’m sure it will be fine.”

-cradles head in hands-

I am so sorry Tock.

Fuck, this was not supposed to happen. I shouldn’t be allowed to touch Flying pokemon. Ever. Or fight Fighting pokemon. The fact that this keeps happenings suggests some underlying stupidity.

Damn it.

This. Tock. Buddy.

ALL THOSE FUCKING SLUGMA.

FUCK I JUST REALIZED IN THE MIDDLE OF MY EMOTIONS. I DIDN’T USE TOCK AGAINST N OR GHETSIS. ALL OF THAT EV TRAINING. ALL OF IT. FOR NOTHING BUT RANDOM FIGHTS.

ALL

THOSE

SLUGMA

IT WAS A LOT OF HOURS.

I. Hell, I am so sorry Tock. I did everything wrong for your final moments. You would still be alive (assuming Close Combat wouldn’t have killed you in one hit regardless, which... I will never get to know) if I had just been more careful and less stupid. Five seconds of common sense would have put you out of harm’s way.

I am just. so sorry. This shouldn’t have happened.

You have such a sweet, innocent face and I...

I am upset?

I can’t even pick someone else for the team yet. It can wait. Nothing can really replace Tock, and I can’t act otherwise.

I can take Bandit for a walk, though. There are boulders nearby.

-eliminates Reshiram with no joy in heart-

Hell.

I think this place has more uses if you are not playing on the computer.

It has grass. That’s the important thing of the moment.

Hey little guy.

Quick Ball go, Quick Ball get.

I don’t know what to call you.

So. I’m gonna go with Tick.

FOR THE LOVE OF SOMETHING, STOP SPAMMING THE A BUTTON EQUIVALENT THROUGH CONVERSATIONS WITH PEOPLE I DID NOT WANT A TRIPLE BATTLE BECAUSE THAT IS LIKE THREE TIMES THE CHANCES OF DEATH AND I AM NOT DOING WELL WITH THE NORMAL CHANCES.

It works out thanks to the typing.

But geez self. Show some learning.

See, okay, the kid standing above her also wants a Triple Battle.

Now, what are we going to do?

Go to the Pokemon Center, and then say absolutely because my guys need exp.

I’m not a greatly intelligent human.

Not even a little.

It works out, though. Exp gained, no one dead.

New route.

This trainer has a level 68 Purugly.

I think. I really need to drop everything and grind for a little bit.

Frogger has fallen in love with the Purugly. He is also now paralyzed. After a turn of that, thankfully, he uses Hydro Pump and it hits.

Frogger.

I’m judging you a bit.

Level 68 Espeon. Followed by level 68 Lapras. Good grief I should not be in this place.

THAT ONE WAS NOT MY FAULT.

Ha. Ha. Ha.

This.

Fuck.

Uh.

So uh. There was this Future Sight Batman took. I made the executive decision that it was safer for her to be in there for it than Palm, and. I stand by that. Except then a critical hit Hydro Pump hit. And it’s a level 68 Lapras. So.

So.

You killed Boeing. By catching you, I took away your ability to kill. But I always knew you could still die. You were the terror. You were the knight.

You were Batman.

You deserved to be enshrined forever in the Hall of Fame.

But this is where we part, my friend.

Farewell.

Uh.

...4x STAB Leaf Storm.

This was meant to be the grass encounter where I caught one of them?

I was focused on that?

I did not think a level 59 Petilil could kill Frogger in one shot?

This is.

Bad?

There is also a chance the Petilil is too dangerous to live?

But I catch it, so yay?

Petilil’s new name is Battousai.

And.

This has been the longest hour of this run.

I am in so much more trouble than I was.

Frogger. You were my second pokemon.

You saved the day against the Elite Four.

You were dependable, and I never learned to depend on you.

I did not see us ending this way.

I am so sorry.

...

Hello.

Darkness my old friend.

I’ve come to cry at you again.

So uh.

Guess who. needs a new team.

Ahahaha I am in hell.

...

You know what. I. am going to take a break. This has been an excruciating hour. I don’t care for it. I don’t know what I should put on my new team. All I know is that this is very sad and I continue to be worse at this game than I thought.

So that’s great.

[next session start]

Alrighty then.

-stares blankly-

My party has Rock/Fighting, Fire, Grass/Fighting.

I, uh. Need to fill it.

With stuff.

Piglet (Spoink). You’re coming with. Buzz and Bandit will come along with HMs. I’ll see if I can hit the other routes, then figure the rest of this mess out.

Right. Lesgo.

On the comforting side, the first trainer we see has a level 65 thing too. So the side picked didn’t severely change the outcome of. things.

The first thing I see is Lairon, but I have an Aron.

-considers-

Let’s see if I can catch you.

Score, I can. I forgot the Quick Ball, but damage lined up to make it a clean catch. I’mma name you Daffy.

I think. I need to grind more than anything. My surviving team is very much at risk, and Piglet is wholly untrained. Both of those things need fixing. Hopefully it won’t involve chasing down Slugma.

To Dragonspiral and Jellicent, I guess. One step at a time.

(Bandit learned Surf, by the way. Because. Something needed to know that.)

Piglet is evolving! Form of... Grumpig!

Bodacious.

What EVs does Reshiram give? Because if it’s Special Attack...

That’s worth investigating.

Cue nothing but Baltoy. ...I also don’t know what Baltoy gives. ...Or Snorunt. Snorunt is also here. Along with Piplup.

Reshiram gives Special Attack.

I’m taking this as confirmed based on recording several levels of Piglet’s stats attacking nothing but Reshiram. A wild extra point of Special Attack appeared. That makes some things so much easier. I don’t know the exact numbers on what I’m looking for out of Piglet (I think maybe max HP, some convenient split of Special Defense, Defense, and Special Attack), but. Geez this is a relief.

Looking at the numbers though, Piglet isn’t going to be able to pack much of a punch no matter how many EVs I pour into him. I need to focus on tank power.

Maxing HP, then whatever’s left will go to Special Defense and Defense.

Only not in that order.

My memory being what it is, I’m not sure, but I think Relicanth might have Defense and Attack EVs. So I’m just here for Cloyster. I’ll down twenty, then go back to HP grinding. Simple.

Cue no Cloyster.

I should level up Bandit so I start getting better stuff with all this walking.

[one hour later]

This is still boring. I should have figured out my other replacements so I could do this all at once. At least one would have to have similar EV desires, right?

But then I’d have to figure out the other two.

My guess is it will be Yanmega and Jellicent. Fluttershy and Peanut.

But.

I want to wait. Just. Just in case.

Also, screw it, Bandit gets the other Exp. Share. I have two, I’m going to use them. I’m also going to use some PP Ups on Fido’s Flamethrower. Healing after every fifteen fights is. No.

[many hours later]

Okay. HP handled.

Sigh.

The journey continues.

[another hour (okay maybe not really)]

Yay!

I think what I want to do right now is level up what I have rather than focus on training any other new ones. I need to watch those exp bars zoom to the moon. It will sustain me in my grief/exhaustion.

Since I’m in Opelucid anyway, I’m just going to go right and hang in the grass until I’m slightly more confident in the ability of my team to not die.

Wild Pichu are not that helpful in that endeavor. Nor are Mime Jr. Granbull. You are our only hope in this arena.

...

I miss Tock [’s Shadow Ball] so much.

The fear of death is omnipresent. Too much has happened. Where once there was confidence, now there is only dread. Recovery is a faint glimmer of a dream off in the distance.

Neat. Kingdra is also here.

-tilts head-

Yeah, repeats. But still.

I wonder if anything helpful’s in the water.

Well. There’s a level 35 Surskit.

Leaning towards a hard no.

Oh wait, what am I doing. It should be all legendary murdering all the time.

It’s so frustrating, because I just keep thinking hey, I can go fight the trainers along the path for more exp! Then the rest of me remembers that I should not do that.

I don’t think I checked out the dark grass in the route I found Reshiram. I’ll check that out for a quick look. It will possibly be followed by running away as fast as humanly possible, but eh.

That’s not too bad.

...Ah. Levels 58 and 57.

Their danger levels and their exp levels sadly do not line up. Gonna stick with the Reshiram grass.

...Also gonna check what’s in the water of the route with the level 68 hellbeasts.

NO I DIDN’T REALIZE YOU TURNED AROUND.

-deep breath-

-deep scream-

Okay. Okay. It’s fine. It’ll be fine.

Level 64 Primeape, Piglet gets switched in. ..And survives a Close Combat crit.

So then, Piglet is at 23 HP thanks to two Thrashes, and now Palm is out to hopefully do away with a level 64 Scrafty. Yes, because Palm is Palm Wonderful. Last one is a level 64 Poliwrath. Palm gets a crit because Palm loves us.

Piglet learns Power Gem because I don’t have the guts to use Rest as a real strategy.

All right. Lived.

Super Rod leads to Palpitoad. That’s not a bad thing to know. Regular Surfing leads to Wigglytuff. That’s better than the Reshiram grass for leveling if it’s the only thing in the water. But then there’s Shellder.

New area!

Undella Town and Undella Bay are different places, so I must take care with Surfing for my new friend.

This is the town’s choice. I throw a Quick Ball. Metapod caught. Now if only he had a name. Hm.

You can be Crystal.

And this is the choice of the bay. Another Quick Ball is thrown. A Hoothoot is caught. Her name is Winnie.

I’m fast approaching the end of new areas. The map is almost completely lit up.

I think it might be okay to face trainers in the water, because I have Palm. So I’m going to try that, and hope I don’t soon have reason to cry like a baby again.

Level 63 Staryu.

You know, my new question is why that one girl had level 68 monstrosities.

There’s a Quagsire here that we don’t get to catch. ;-;

Oo, and Electrode. I’ve always loved Electrode. It smiles.

I have the HM for Dive now! Yay?

RUN

RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN

RUN.

-severe whimpering noises-

We are not in any way, shape, or form ready for post-game Cynthia. I have memories of grinding against her and others in this house thing, but those teams were allowed to come back after dying.

I will fight her before I fight the Elite Four. Because if I can’t beat her, I have no business facing the Elite Four again (...I think).

Okay, moved up to Route 13 because I don’t actually have anything that can learn Dive. New area. Time to see what we get.

Hmmmmmmmm. Quick Ball get.

Finneon’s new name is F9.

I can’t help but notice that other trainers don’t walk around with level 68 pokemon. I guess that means I really am exploring the entire map before I start training another pokemon. That is possibly misguided, but I really just... am not ready to finalize my final (I hope) team.

Um.

Wait, what the fuck?

I. I was typing.

WHAT HAPPENED WHILE I WAS TYPING. PALM TOOK A HEX BUT HIS HP WAS STILL GREEN AND THEN.

WHAT HAPPENED.

WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED.

It uses Hydro Pump against Piglet, so if I were to guess...

How is this still getting worse.

Palm.

Palm Wonderful.

I have no words.

I am distraught.

I will miss you so much.

I no longer have the option of being cute about this. I can’t be walking around with three pokemon in an area where I’m losing them at this rate. I guess the simple fact is that things are now high enough level to know seriously dangerous moves, and there is no truly safe option except for absurd over-leveling.

I need to select three new ones.

I have Fido, Rojo, and Piglet. Fire, Rock/Fighting, and Psychic. I can basically pick whatever I want. And as much as I hate to say it, Palm’s loss keeps me from being overstocked on Fighting. So. If I wanted...

But what do I want?

I want to stack the deck. How do I do that.

IV checker. Everything I might consider using is getting a free checkup.

It’s a sea of “above average”s. With a few “decent”s here and there.

Maybe I should try something different. Maybe I should just select the pokemon I love most. That’s the point of a Nuzlocke, right? Getting attached? In terms of Type coverage, there are things I can do, but. I don’t wanna do that. I want to pick the things I love most. If it has good odds on ending horrifically no matter what I do, I want to have as much fun as possible.

Swiper and Wagston are in. As for the last one, that remains to be seen.

If memory serves, Riolu evolves into Lucario with good happiness during the daytime. So I should start walking. He will also be given a Soothe Bell. I think I’ll spend my time leveling up what remains. Rojo can kill a million Reshiram and become a demigod in addition to a legendary.

Oh, and sportsball. Let’s go do today’s.

Baseball! Baseball is fun.

Have I been here since finishing the plot?

I have, right? There isn’t going to be a huge level jump?

This level 65 Persian staring me down says I’m a moron.

-paces-

I should not be here. I should leave. Straight away.

But Piglet is a tank. Everything I uses in battle is over 60.

This stupidity is now on record. I’m going to try to beat the baseball peeps.

This level 66 Simipour makes me miss Palm so terribly.

Wow, I should not be doing this.

And yet.

There are a lot more trainers here now.

Level 64 Conkeldurr vs level 64 Piglet. My future nightmares start this way.

Piglet is victorious, and we continue this horrible decision!

...

You know what, this is stupid. Piglet hurt himself in confusion twice, then I used a Lemonade to get him back to full health, then the Unfezant’s Sky Attack did. That.

So. This is going badly.

Piglet, I swear I’d say sorry, but I’m mostly just dwelling on how amazingly screwed I am. So. Uh.

So.

tfw I have two usable pokemon!

#Pokemon #Nuzlocke Challenge

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jessassassin · 2 years

Text

I'm not as close with all the deep lore and info about Revita but I'm gonna throw out random bits and things because I can not everything is special most really aren't lol:

Every hat has an alt hat and you can purchase alt hats for 500 soul coins once you unlock that NPC, the other way you win them is dailies(and weeklies I think?)

Tickets cost 20 soul coins from the machine but the images at the tinkerer actually display the price as 10 at the moment

The tinkerer self refers with plural pronouns and is otherwise referred to with they/them

One of the secrets (achievements) is petting the caretaker's cat 10 times (it actually says "any cat" but I have no idea what other cats there are *shakes Ben* are there other cats tell me right now)

The bosses (also called guardians) are named after the 5 stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and then Enigma followed by Acceptance. Enigma is the boss you face in the tutorial (and you're forced to lose)

All of the guardians can be assumed to canonically "go by" they/it pronouns given that at the librarian/archivist NPC they're referred to with it/its while Denial and Bargaining's secrets refer to them using they/them ("Defeat Denial, by shooting them while they have their eye open", "Defeat Bargaining without them touching the ground")

One of the secrets requires you to repeatedly shoot the dummy and speak to it until it asks "Does your mother know?". The secret reads "Listen to the Dummy questioning your motives"

The Retro Glasses hat is a reference to Retromation, the Robe hat is a reference to Olexa (afaik that's actually true lol), and the Potatoo hat could very well be a reference to OrbitalPotato

Ben, the dev of Revita, said they're actually running out of room to put things in the metro station, which gives you part of an idea of how much content is in the game despite only being early access still

The written language on signs in Revita can actually be translated but I don't know how people do it tbh

There's an ARG related to the tombstone with hearts on it before the boss fight in Ticking Tower Top

You can unlock looping in the game by either waiting for a new hour to start or manually changing the time to the start of a new hour after defeating Acceptance. After hearing a bell ring, you input the following actions: left, right, left, jump, shoot, left, shoot, down, up, left, jump, right. If done correctly a glitch effect will happen and looping will now be available for the runs following the one you just finished

If you get the secret of meeting the king of frogs, you unlock a blueprint for the frog fountain, and when placed in the station there will be a frog that always spawns there

Unlocking NPCs in the clocktower previously cost you one heart but has been changed to be free (which is good)

Every time you die in a run, on the metro while you're in a run, a new silhouette figure will appear sitting in one of the seats

Arid Athenaeum is the only area with 3 secret rooms instead of 2, the third (not in order of finding though) contains a large ice mirror that you can get a mirror shard from, which is simply an orbital that blocks shots but will have some sort of significance in 1.0. The requirements to get it are skipping the first 2 statues and having at least one curse from a cursed chest (iirc that's it anyway)

There are alt tracks that you have a chance of hearing in your run (I'm not sure the actual odds though)

The original idea played with before Revita was called "Arrow Dynamic" (play on the word aerodynamic) and had a similar concept of a child climbing through a tower, and the game was originally being created when Ben was in highschool

Acceptance's attacks are centered around the celestial weapons, which are a sub-weapon, minus only three: the scorpio hook, the capricorn shield, and the sword of leo. The rest (bow, scythe, wand, grenades, blades, and boots) have an attack based on them.

Scorpio Hook can be used to steal from shops if you stand at the shop's exit door out of the merchant's site. There are secrets related to stealing from the shop

The first time you get caught stealing from the shop, afaik, you unlock dialogue from the merchant mentioning Fortuna, an NPC who offers a gamble between the contents of 3 chests for 1 hp (one chest has a reward, two don't, and her game is called Fortuna's Chance)

The sign on the chef's shop translates to "Chef Chariot"

It's been speculated that NPCs relate to/are based on tarot cards (the major arcana at least) based on things such as Chef Chariot (Chariot card), Fool aka the jester who plays music at the metro station (Fool card), the priestess who removes curses (High Priestess card), Keydiot which is a fanon name (Hanged Man card), etc. It hasn't been confirmed by Ben nor outright denied

And finally Ben, the dev of Revita, is LGBTQ+, being gay and using he/they pronouns :)

#♠️.txt #long post #Enjoy my tiny infodump

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patrickcharlton-oshea-author · 6 years

Text

Chapter Seven: “Ow!” Once more, Peter woke into darkness. This darkness was more stuffy and musty though. He tried to sit up, but a sharp pain in his forehead and a burst of stars caused him to lie back again. Through a rising panic he explored his environment with the only sense available: touch. He was bounded on all sides by silk-lined walls, leaving little room to move. Eventually he found a braided cord by his head and pulled on it vigorously. Far off a tinkling bell could be heard. Right. The bell. He continued to pull the rope as hard as he could. “All right. Keep your shroud on.” A voice from outside his confinement grumbled. “Damn Travellers. Why can't they stay dead like the rest of you lot?” A sliver of light pierced the darkness, then widened as the lid of the sarcophagus was pushed aside. Peering in was quite possibly the ugliest face Peter had seen since joining the game. It was indescribable. He sat up and took a deep breath of fresh air. Well, air anyway. It was decidedly not fresh in here. The walls were lined with horizontal alcoves in which resided skeletons. Some had weapons and shields placed on them. Some had jewellery strung from their bony bodies. They were all absolutely dead. “Well, Traveller? Would you like some more time to regenerate, or are you ready to face the world again?” The man asked. It had to be a man. Nature couldn't possibly be that cruel to a girl. It's frame was hunched, knobbly and moved weirdly. The voice that issued from him was oddly calming however. “I'm ready to get up, thank you. Sorry for going crazy with the bell. It's the first time I've died.” Peter edged over the side of the stone coffin and stood blinking in the half-light. “Oh-ho! A first timer! Well, welcome to my crypt. I'm Jacob, and it's my job to guide you to the Sisters of Mercy. Follow me.” He began to head for the door with an odd, rolling gait. Peter thought he might have made a decent sailor with that walk. “I've not had a Traveller through here in a little bit. Folks just aren't dying like they used to.” Peter followed him along a torch lit tunnel. They were well spaced apart and he was glad of it, his eyes were still quite sensitive. “Popular place, was it?” “Oh, for sure,” Jacob replied. “It's dead centre of town. People were dying to get in here. I even used to have my band practice down here, until people complained. Apparently we were loud enough to wake the dead.” Peter smiled to himself. His dad told the same sort of jokes all the time. Then his smile faded. His dad used to joke, but hadn't in a long time. After a walk long enough that Jacob's jokes had started to repeat, they arrived at a steel ladder set into the stone. “Up you go young sir. Thank you for listening to an old crypt keeper’s rambling. The Sisters will meet you at the top of the ladder. They've got tea and biscuits I'm told. Now, as much as I like the company, I hope I don't see you again. In a box, at least. Feel free to drop by the cemetery any time.” Peter took hold of the first rung and Jacob ambled off, muttering to himself good naturedly. When most of your friends are dead, you get used to the sound of your own voice, he guessed. At the top of the ladder he was indeed met by a Sister in the usual habit. Instead of speaking, she merely gestured for him to follow a short way down a much lighter corridor, with walls that were all white marble with sconces set in a much more regular manner. He was waved into a room with a wooden chair and desk against one wall and a rug and cushions on the opposite side. On the desk was parchment and a quill with an ink bottle. Set in front of the cushions was a small coffee table with a steaming mug and an assortment of snacks. Peter threw himself down on the cushions, grabbed a biscuit and dunked it in his tea. Munching on the snack he looked around to find himself alone. He sat and sipped the tea, which was quite excellent, and thought about how he'd died. It had hurt, and the surprise had made it worse. It had shocked him so much that as soon as the darkness had rolled in he'd logged out, fast. He replayed the moment in his mind again. He'd experienced something similar when Billy had hit him. The surprise that someone, or in the rabbit's case, something, had wanted to hurt him so badly. He was feeling an odd mixture of rage and fear. He desperately wanted to hunt down the mad bunny and cause it as much pain as it had inflicted upon him. Yet, it had taken him down so fast, so easily, he dreaded that it'd do exactly the same again. Peter sipped his tea again. Perhaps he should simply leave it alone for now. If he was more careful, quieter and more attentive he could avoid putting himself in that situation again until he was stronger, and armed. Sparked by the thought of arms, Peter rolled up his now very grubby sleeve and looked at his left forearm. He scrolled through his stats to the skills section, worried about experience point loss. It had been mentioned on the wiki that when your character died you could lose stats and skill points. He had no stats to speak of anyway, but he'd just earned himself some points in herbalism, fractional though they had been. No, the score was unchanged. Still sitting at 0.3%. He let out a sigh of relief, which cut off shortly. He quickly scrolled to the inventory mark and popped it open. The berries were all still there, and his sickle was undamaged. Unlike his clothes that were rapidly becoming tattered, it was almost pristine. This time his sigh of relief was uninterrupted. Just as he swallowed the last of his tea, a Sister appeared in the doorway. It could have been the same one. Was there even more than one here? “Traveller, are you prepared to face the world again?” she asked. He thought the voice was the same as the one he'd met in the chapel, but he wasn't certain. They might have just used the same voice actress for all of them. When he nodded assent to the question, the priestess gestured for him to follow her. They walked up the hallway and ascended a short flight of stairs which brought them out into the graveyard. The priestess bowed and retired back below. Jacob was there, tidying a plot with a scythe. It wasn't a large graveyard, room only for about fifty plots and a marble arch that led down into the crypts. The tall brick walls kept the air still in here, but the sun shone gently, reflecting off the polished headstones. One plot stood empty with a pile of fresh dirt next to it. Peter wandered over, curious. The headstone bore his name. Shocked, he called out to the crypt keeper. “Jacob. What the hell?” “Well, Traveller, how did you think you got down into my crypts?” Jacob leaned the scythe against the stone. “By the grace of the gods, when you bind your soul to this place a stone is set in the yard here. If you die out there, your body is brought here by their will and I have to dig you up and take you down for a rest while your body knits itself together. Most Travellers are awake and screaming when this happens, but some lucky few sleep through it like you did. It's one of the reasons Travellers go to such lengths to avoid dying. Massive sets of armour, magic potions and shields, some even hire mercenaries to do the adventuring for them. Still, I usually gets to see them all at least once. Now, I've got duties to attend to, unless you want something else?” “No, thank you,” Pete mumbled distractedly. “You've given me much to think about.” Pete wandered over to a nearby bench and sat down. Lifelike NPCs, painful deaths AND respawning in a coffin. None of this had been noted in his research. What else hadn't been mentioned? Was it even worth playing? But the flipside of the coin wasn't much better. His parents didn't look like they were going to stop fighting any time soon. Did his dad really just fall asleep working? He was in for a world of pain when he got back to school anyway and the advice he'd been given sounded like it was going to earn him more beatings whether he listened to his mum or dad. At least here he knew he could eventually do something about it. Armour had been mentioned, as had magic. Now he just needed the means to acquire it. The quest! Peter jumped up and ran out the gate of the graveyard excitedly. He'd completed the quest for the herbalist and was owed some money! Running into the square he found he had absolutely no idea where to go from there. He checked his arm again, flicking to the quests section and thumbing the guiding lights option. Once more the little lights shimmered into life to show him where to go. Magic GPS, what an idea. Following the flickering trail along the street was a cinch. It wended itself around people, NPCs, Peter reminded himself. There couldn’t be this many people role playing as Citizens, could there? Jogging along the trail Peter kept one eye on the lights to ensure he was going the right way and turned his attention to his surroundings. He passed a few stalls, one selling fruit, one selling smallgoods, one selling an impact... Wait? An impact? Peter was flung through the air, visions of a large animal mixing with sky and ground. He skidded to a halt in a jumble of arms and legs. Picking himself and dusting off his increasingly ruined clothing he looked back the way he'd come. The lights passed through a rider on a barded warhorse as though it wasn't even there. Peter thought about this as he tried his best to tidy up. Maybe the magic GPS didn't account for Travellers, if that’s what the rider was. He certainly looked the part. Peter picked up a clod of earth and slung it at the back of the oblivious twat who'd paid exactly zero attention to the poor person he'd bowled over. They were just riding up the middle of the street as though they owned the road. Of course, his stats in this game were the much the same as his athletic ability in real life, and the clod bounced off the head of a random figure who'd just stepped out their front door. As the poor innocent tried in vain to solve the Mystery of the Muck Missile, Peter ducked guiltily into an alley between two houses. Then he remembered the bus that had embarrassed him the previous morning and felt vindicated. Stupid machines, Skynet could suck it. So could the jerk on his armoured ass. “Bugger them,” he thought, and strode back out into the street. Pointedly ignoring the ruckus up the street where the Mysterious Muck Missile Manhunt had become a small riot with pointed fingers and accusations thrown as randomly as Peter’s clod, Peter followed the lights down the road to an unassuming building with a wooden sign in the shape of a maple leaf hung above the door. Opening the door to a jingling bell Peter found himself in a dimly lit room lined with open topped boxes and labelled jars. Behind a counter at the back of the room stood an elderly man with an impressively long white beard. The flickering lights had formed a ring around him, indicating he was the objective of the quest. The herbalist himself, he assumed. Well, he could wait. Peter browsed the merchandise, examining the assorted leaves, roots and sticks of exotic wood. Some he recognised from the real world, camphor wood, cinnamon sticks and vanilla seed pods. Others were clearly made up. He doubted that there was any such thing as Blood Orchid root, mallets from a Sledgehammer Plant, or Dragon Fruit seeds. The man at the back of the room coughed to get his attention. “Can I help you, young Traveller? Is there something specific you need for, say, a potion or salve?” Peter ceased his browsing and opened his inventory. He withdrew twenty of the berries and placed them on the counter. “I have come to fulfil your quest. You needed raspberries, yes?” The herbalist's face lit up with a smile. He quickly swept the berries into a large jar and hid it under the counter whilst looking shiftily behind him at the curtain that separated the shop from the rest of the building. “Well done, Traveller. Here are five coppers for your efforts,” he whispered, dropping the coins onto the counter. You'd think Peter had just brought in a package of illicit drugs the way he was acting. “May I ask, what sort of potion do you make with those?” Peter inquired, whispering as well. “No potion, I just really love raspberries. My wife says I eat too many so I have to hide them from her,” he replied with a wink. In a louder voice he continued. “Maybe you seek recipes? Your interest in my wares suggests you may be in the herb business yourself?” Shaken by the sudden change of tone, Peter stammered, “R-r-recipes? I'm new to the world, could you explain, please?” “Certainly, Traveller. Whilst you can eat the raw ingredients to gain the benefits of a herb, you also receive all the effects from that herb. Recipes and the correct brewing equipment will allow you to distil the desired effect. I have for sale a basic mortar and pestle, a small cauldron – popular with the alchemist on the move – and the recipes for basic health and essence potions. I also carry more advanced recipes like barkskin, stoneskin, alacrity and mental acuity enhancement. Which would you like?” Peter dropped his voice to a whisper again. “First, I have some more raspberries, if you're interested.” He placed the rest of the berried from his cache on the counter. “I can only accept twenty more, Traveller. Any more and I'll have a stomach ache, and the rest will spoil. I can offer three coppers, is that acceptable?” When Peter nodded his assent, the berries were swiftly replaced with the metal disks. “Good sir, I have but eight coppers to my name.” Peter raised his voice again. “What do you have that you can offer in that price range?” “Nay young lad. Whilst that sum would procure some herbs from these stocks, it wouldn’t afford you the meanest of the tools I have to offer.” The herbalist shook his head sadly. Dismayed, Peter slunk out, slamming the door behind him. He was getting exceptionally tired, his eyes were burning and head filling with cotton wool. He couldn’t catch a break. “It must be past midnight. I should try getting some actual sleep.” He sat on the step outside the shop, closed his aching eyes and logged off for the second time that night.

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bainhardt · 3 years

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I recently decided to tackle the long-overdue challenge of completing my HOME national dex to finally claim a sought-after original color Magearna for my own. Filling the gaps in my dex has been no easy feat, and one requiring I do far stranger things than I ever expected. Catching ‘em all isn’t quite so simple as it seems at first glance, lemme tell you...

Catching various Pokemon was the easy part. Between having three complete living dexes on Sword alone and the complete living Alola dex on my Ultra Sun, a significant portion was already filled in. But that piqued my curiosity about something I first noticed about a year ago when HOME first launched: why did my HOME dex have Pokemon registered that I’d never moved off of gen 7? Well, the good news is that Bank has its own Pokedex, composited from all the dexes of all the game cards you connect to it, and this data is sent to HOME every time you move even one Pokemon. You don’t have to send anything important up to gen 8 if you don’t want to! What a relief.

Still, SWSH infamously don’t offer everything, and so most of my work involved trawling through older gen games and picking up the odd forgotten straggler. A couple of them really surprised me, like how I apparently had Sunflora but no Sunkern, or Ducklett but no Swanna. Regardless, this kind of thing is the fun part of Pokemon, tracking stuff down and catching it, and before too long, I was already finished. Easy enough.

The difficulty ramped up when I reached the point of no return, the point where nothing remains but those dreaded mythicals... the only Pokemon out of ‘em all you can’t just go and catch. Who came up with that idea? I’d like to have a stern word with them (that word is fuck). I left concerns of legitimacy behind me and pressed dauntlessly on. Whatever it took, I was getting this done.

Thankfully, even here I wasn’t starting from square 1. I have a modest collection of mythicals of my own; Meloetta, Celebi, Phione, assorted random pickups from my obsessive play beginning in gen 6. This narrowed it down to thirteen elusive targets. And then I remembered I’d neglected to catch Keldeo in the Crown Tundra, narrowing it down to twelve elusive targets:

Mew - Manaphy - Darkrai - Shaymin - Arceus - Victini - Genesect - Hoopa - Volcanion - Zarude - Meltan - Melmetal

My first stop was the era of the original DS, with my friend Elliot pointing me towards the Nintendo Wi-Fi DNS Exploit in order to access long-passed events. Limited by the language of games I owned as well as hardware (I never managed to get this exploit working on gen 4 because of that goddamned WEP requirement), I managed to download Darkrai, Victini, and Genesect.

Mew - Manaphy - Shaymin - Arceus - Hoopa - Volcanion - Zarude - Meltan - Melmetal

Up next was the HOME mobile app, where I got by with a little help from my friends - well, friend, namely Nia, who had four more to trade me. Also worth mentioning is how HOME’s friend trading system is normally supposed to be restricted to local-only, a restriction that was supposedly lifted due to the pandemic. I guess I chose the right time to get this underway, at least.

Shaymin - Arceus - Volcanion - Zarude - Melmetal

What followed is probably the strangest step of my journey, and if I’m being honest, one of the most surprising and impressive. Around this time I’d begun poking my nose various places online looking for where I might get in contact with somebody to spot me the last handful of Pokemon I needed. I saw a post on one subreddit offering “ANY POKEMON YOU WANT” and figured I was about to message some hacker. Instead, all it took was connecting to a discord channel and messaging a bot, and I was in touch with an automated hacking robot capable of trading any Pokemon legally obtainable in SWSH! I was blown away. I felt like the NPC from the beginning of each game who’s impressed by how incredible technology is. And I had three more mythicals registered in my dex (then promptly released).

Shaymin - Arceus

Bringing this quest nearly to its close is the final adventure I’ve had recently, and one of the more exciting things I’ve done in my time playing Pokemon. Coincidentally, I recently ordered a Japanese copy of Pearl, which happens to be one of the only two games fit to serve as the stage for this endeavor: I was going to attempt the “tweaking” glitch.

As I understand it, this glitch fucks with the loading triggers in the game, and enables you to venture out of bounds in real time using nothing more than your DS and the cartridge. Through careful exploration and the execution of some game events, you can encounter Darkrai, Shaymin, and even Arceus. You can technically fuck up your game file if you go astray, but with very little to lose on my new JP Pearl to begin with, I set to it in earnest. Following video tutorials as my guide, I was biking my way through darkness in no time flat, sights set on the Alpha Pokemon Arceus.

I had no Master Ball available on any of my gen 4 games, so capturing this thing came down to three P’s: Patience, Poke Balls, and Parasect. I didn’t have Parasect ready for my first attempt, which ended in failure, and although this tweaking encounter can be repeated an infinite number of times, I wanted this over with as soon as possible. After a day spent grinding Parasect until it was ready to stand toe-to-toe with a god, I dove into the void again and caught myself my first ever Arceus. Thanks to Sakura Miko, of course.

From here, I’m so close to Magearna I can practically taste it, yet I’m still one Pokemon short - Shaymin. Even though I could catch one through tweaking, it’s reportedly the only tweaking capture incapable of being transferred up to newer games, which leaves me back at the drawing board for one final Pokemon. One final step, and at this point, I can’t imagine what it’ll entail.

#Jeffu plays Pokemon

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tumblunni · 7 years

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A random game idea I had! It could be really cool to have like a survival RPG where you play as a wild animal trying to survive in the world. Seriously there are barely any games about the coolness of nature from the perspective of the nature, and the only one I found was just a platformer/walking simulator type thing with not much appeal to it. Still worth wasting my money on it just so the universe can see there's a market for this genre, tho! So yeah anyway, random thoughts for this game idea!! * I was thinking it could be a bit more fun if you're exploring an entirely new world of magical creatures instead of a super realistic documentary on any real animal. Plus that's just more flexible for me to do whatever I want with how things work for this species. * My first thought was maybe like a very unusual 'dragon' that's more insectile in design. Like a long Asian dragon crossed with a fluffy caterpillar. Lotsa legs, and a sweet lil face! There's even that one species of Japanese caterpillar that has the big head with horns and an EVEN MORE sweet lil face, that would work perfectly!! And I was thinking maybe it can charge up and shoot electrical blasts from those back horns? Its still very much a small underdog creature in this ecosystem tho, usually all it can do is issue weak zaps to scare predators away but not really fight back all that well. And your lil babies can't zap at all until their horns grow in, so you need to be very strategic to choose your battles carefully and keep your family safe. * also I was thinking maybe the babies could kinda be your lives system? It'd be hard to finish the game while keeping them all alive, and if you lose them all its a game over from despair. And also they follow you around and are cute and helpful and love u lots! And ypu can see them grow up if you keep them safe for the whole game, you can watch them leave the nest in the end and be so proud! I want them all to have their own lil personality, I want the player to get goddamn attached to their lil monster fam!! * alternatively maybe you start off with just one baby and then gain more as the game progresses? Cos I'm picturing this as you playing as a single animal, you're a solo mama lookin after the babs. Maybe your previous mate died tragically in the prologue? Or maybe you just don't have one and you're just a sweet lil dragon who adopts abandoned eggs you find along your journey. You could go on quests to find all the hidden unlockable children around the world map! And maybe they could be a big ol variety of patterns, and different special powers. Multi talented bebs! * another idea for adding variety to game is 'what about customization?' Let's defy all laws of logic and have the player be able to choose the course of evolution for these critters! Your skill tree could be growing extra legs or fangs or becoming an omnivore all of a sudden. Who cares if it makes no sense! Tho that would kinda lend itself better to a plotless game with intimate amounts of generations, so we could at least make the evolution semi realistic. Inheriting traits instead of just abruptly mutating a million things within the same generation. But I kinda wanted this to be a more emotional journey of a single family surviving a small lifetime together. Just a lil warm and soft snippet of life in this world. Just a lil family that you can keep safe. * a random idea I had for a helpful NPC was a big giant scary monster of another species that you end up forming an unlikely friendship with. Big scary is only scary cos they're protecting their sick child, you can find out about this and help find the rare herbs they need to get better. And now you have won a very large friend's undying gratitude! Maybe they could remove an obstacle in your path by fighting off a giant unwinnable boss fight for you, so you can get to the next area. Or maybe you can ride on their back so they can carry you further away from your nest than you can usually reach. I'm imagining the player character being like the size of one of their eyebrows, lol! Oh, and maybe they could even help dig stuff so you can do bigger renovations on your nest? I was thinking it'd slowly upgrade as you gather more skills and materials throughout the game, and you could have a super complex luxury lil meadow grove by the end. * oh and a random other optional side quest idea! One of the various biomes you explore could be a wintery area, and you could find a prime spot where you can store your supplies and have like rudimentary refrigeration. Storing up food supplies in prime cache locations around the world would be a big gameplay element if you're playing as a herbivore, and this would be a gamechanger cos now meat can be cached away too. And I was thinking the Large Friend could also be a useful way to make the game equally playable whether you picked herbivore or carnivore. Herbivore players can trade meat to the Large Friend and thus still gain some benefit from defeating enemies. Large Friend can probably bring you cool exotic fruits from high up in trees you can't reach. Yay! * oh and I've kinda been calling those characters The Bigman and Bigman Larva. Cos I thought it'd be funny if this is some large mammal and the protagonist doesn't really understand the difference. Their babies totally come from eggs too, right? When's the lil guy gonna spin his cocoon? * ...it'd be even funnier if they actually did spin cocoons. I mean, its a magical world! I can make anything I want! Mice hatch into bats in the spring~ * also I had a neat idea of how to maybe handle 'dialogue' in this game. Cos it'd be a bit lame to just translate all this animal talk into English, and it'd be hard to have an RPG if its completely 100% silent. I don't have enough confidence in my abilities to say I could pull off the awesome nonverbal storytelling of Journey! So the idea I had was that maybe it could be.. A nonverbal language? You see your protagonist's thoughts as lil dialogue bubbles of images. Lil semi-complex rune type icons that the player slowly learns as they play through the game. Starting just with very basic representations of the actual gameplay commands like 'run' and 'hunt' and 'small larva whom I love and protect', and then by the end you're able to hold entire simple conversations with friendly NPCs. * also I thought it could be hella neat if you could acrually name your babies using this system! Pick two or three runes to combine into a lil squeak you shall squeak towards this particular ball of fluff. "I love you [FIRE] [FRIGHTENED] and [BRISTLE BUSH] [ACORN] [TAIL]" * also I was thinking a cool way to organically teach this language to players would be to kinda compartmentalize it? Youd start off with a library of basic words and then everything would be introduced using those basic words. Like 'predator' is [RUN]-[EAT], displayed with those two symbols when you first encounter this problem. But then after its become more of a common part of your life it'd be smooshed down into a new rune symbol that combines those two, and that's added to your dictionary. And now you're able to say things about that predator, and use the word predator as a modifier to other stuff. Like 'coyote' might be introduced as 'fast predator' and then if you spend a lot of time scavenging in the coyote territory and fighting them, 'coyote' would become an actual word too. And it could be kinda oddly satisfying to name your newest child after a word you didn't have the last time, symbolising how you've mastered evading that particular predator. Hold your head high, [COYOTE] [FEET], my new and prosperous son! * Also, hmm, it could probably symbolise 'this shit is wrong and terrifying' when something breaks the naming conventions and reminds you of the components that first made that word. Like every other predator is just [adjective] [RUN]-[EAT] but then a griffon is [SKY]-[EAT] and a snake is [LUNGE]-[EAT]. Hell, to someone who's literally never seen a flying creature before, they might just be classified as like.. 'Jump' creatures. It'd be a giant shaking up of the whole world for our poor protagonist who only sees things as a collection of running or not running! And humans would be even more terrifying cos they're the only predator that isn't 'eat'. Why on earth does this thing kill us and just leave the body there?? Thats TERRIFYING! Protagonist might even have nightmares of their poor kid's soul being unable to rest cos their empty shell was never returned to nature after they died. They don't have the capacity to understand that humans hunt for sport or exterminate things they see as pests... And man, I can imagine that scraps of human materials could be super useful rare objects along your journey and like.. HOO BOY its a good thing protagonist will never know how exactly humans make those things. 'Wow this weird human thing called a clothes is useful nest lining material!' she says, as she sits on a dragon skin coat. 'Odd how it reminds me of my grandma!' * anyway lol I have a bunch of ideas but they're not very organized so I apologise for this rambley post

#dragon mom game

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spicynbachili1 · 6 years

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Best new Steam games (from off the beaten track)

Surprising joys? Me? Why, I can actually provide help to on the market. Within the final week I’ve acquired a short lived cat, discovered a wonderful pink corduroy jacket for six quid, acquired my copy of Dessa’s e book signed at a gig and… oh, you meant video games? Nicely. Nicely, nice. That’s nice. Have a spherical of Unknown Pleasures as an alternative. Spoilsports.

With out even citing the most effective factor that occurred, this week’s roundup of the most effective Steam releases you haven’t heard of consists of desert flyers, determined liars, and desktop spiers.

Cloud Chasers – Journey of Hope £three.99 / three.99€ / $four.99

Select Your Personal Misfortune by no means fairly appears to blow up in recognition nor fade away. Cloud Chasers – Journey of Hope has a setting doubtlessly bleak and darkish, however its artwork fashion and affordable issue convey its coronary heart to the forefront as an alternative.

Father and daughter set out right into a baking desert looking for the unsure sanctuary of the Spire. To outlive, they dredge the sky with a selfmade glider, hoping to collect treasured water from clouds earlier than being chased off and killed by the callous machines of the rich sky dwellers who ruined the land to start with. Camps and caves and sparse patches of vegetation seem as you stroll by, however every may be ignored, relieving some stress from the standard Survival Decisions formulation.

Swooping via clouds is nice and simply difficult sufficient, and the lethal machines maintain it from turning into a chore. The actual pull although is the interactions you’re supplied on the random spots of curiosity. A hermit asks the place you’re going – do you lie? A well-recognized face seems, now clad within the uniform of the oppressor. Do you greet him? Every may end in new instruments or provides, price water, or hurt you each.

The writing is succinct however heartfelt with out getting cloying or naive. There’s a heat and kindness and even pleasure in these two characters being collectively. They respect and luxuriate in one another’s firm, suggesting a loyalty that largely steers away from tedious enDaddening.

The Colonists £19.49 / 22.99€ / $24.99

It’s the Settlers. IT’S THE BLOODY SETTLERS SOMEONE RESTRAIN ME.

You’re robots! Now BUILD. Oh, alright. The Colonists is a constructing sport the place you organise barely cute little robots a bit like EVE from the faintly insipid Wall-E. Uninterested in toiling for people, they’ve got down to construct settlements for themselves on distant planets. Their behaviour is modelled on people (to make them higher at offering for us, see, like in 9 Planets With out Clever Life), so that they require meals and water, and their buildings demand wooden, stone, iron, and all the standard primitive builder-y stuff.

So that you plonk down a woodcutter, a properly and a fishery, and a few homes (which perform as a discrete digestive system, changing meals and water into vitality items for somebody to ship to staff), and join all of them to your colony ship with roads. It’s these roads that present the sport’s inspiration – though a lot much less elaborate than the Settlers’ hexagonal, height-based highway community system, they perform in the identical manner, with staff merely dropping items, and devoted service bots shunting them about one after the other from connection to connection. Overloading a highway causes a backlog that may ripple out to close down a poorly-planned colony, whereas a easily operated community is a pleasure in itself.

It’s fairly too. Though not fairly as peaceable as Blue Byte’s authentic masterpiece, nor as dangerously compulsive as sudden cousin Factorio, The Colonists is a pleasant little technique sport each to play, and to easily watch as your joyful little plastic individuals go about their day.

Do Not Feed the Monkeys £eight.99 / 11.99€ / $11.99

I was an enormous individuals watcher, however not fairly like this. In Do Not Feed the Monkeys, you’re the latest member of a shady and poooossibly evil (I imply, most likely, however they may make a case for technical neutrality) society that spies on individuals. Form of. It’s all a bit onerous to clarify with out stripping out the oddness and uncertainty that makes it an attention-grabbing expertise.

You could have a pc with a handful of primary programmes on. Video games with a diagetic interface (ie: an operable laptop inside the sport itself) have had a very good run these previous couple of years, however they are often extraordinarily hit and miss. DNFTM retains issues easy, you actually solely have emails to learn and on the spot messages to sometimes reply to. Oh, and the principle programme, which helps you to entry mysterious cameras put in in unknown areas so you’ll be able to spy on individuals. Your membership is based on paying for entry to extra cameras. What’s on the cameras? Nicely, that’s as much as you to work out. A few of them seem to indicate nothing a lot – an exterior shot of a runway, or an industrial machine. One exhibits an outdated man with a whole lot of VHS tapes (an historic, much less handy type of Netflix that on the plus facet you might throw at salesmen). One other exhibits an empty room often livened up by a mouse, or by a lady who is available in to look via a telescope and mutter to herself.

How do you pay for this? There are two choices – by devoting time to informal day jobs, or by answering occasional questions on your “monkeys”. These are answered by clicking on phrases or objects in shot and linking them collectively to seek for extra data on-line. You additionally must sleep and pay for lease and meals, which is why you is perhaps tempted to take the recommendation of your MSN Messenger (shut up) good friend and… y’know. Feed the monkeys. Just a bit bit. Everybody does it. Simply watch out.

That is key to why the sport works. It’s not clear precisely how properly behaved you have to be, nor what constitutes going too far, nor whether or not the entire thing is a meta-experiment on your self, or what. Ordinarily such uncertainty works towards a sport, however right here it feels about proper. Temptation is a horrible factor.

Headliner: NoviNews £7.50 / eight.50€ / $9.99

The affect of Papers, Please on indie video games is just too apparent to even hassle going into, in order that’s my excuse sorted. Headliner: NoviNews takes the “stamp some papers to make a distinction” idea into journalism, the place (arguably inaccurately) paying for meals is not any actual concern, however the affect of your message is gigantic.

You’re Spronglo Bertminster (or one thing else for those who’re regular and/or don’t need to provide you with 20 one-off character names every week), a newly employed information editor in a fictional nation of the nearish future. The half-settled issues of the day are largely about genetic modification, however though customary, meddling with Mendelian issues has penalties each medical and political, and these are the massive points in your desk. Globalism – is our nation being exploited by a neighbour, or is veil over greed and paranoia? Is the flamboyant new synthohol a Good Factor or a Unhealthy Factor? Healthcare – is it a elementary proper, or are you a incorrect fool from evil area? Your reporters will ship you articles, and your mighty stamps of Sure This’ll Do and What The Hell Is This Pish Sin will dictate the character of your hopefully engorged press organ.

Whereas the politics may very well be tackled simplistically, the sport does a fairly respectable job of conserving issues muddy and unsure, and exhibits fairly neatly how all these points have a whole lot of overlap that defies the straightforward reply of simply selecting a ‘facet’, but additionally makes selecting a centrist stand really feel distinctly uncomfortable. The nation that provides a lot genetic medication is perhaps on the dodge, however calling them out for it’d stoke up blind xenophobia. And naturally, on the finish of the day, in case your bosses exit of enterprise, you lose your affect over public opinion even for those who’re in the fitting. And that’s earlier than you take into account the affect of politics in your pals, household, or the sinister nameless figures who generally method you on the street.

Lonk’s Journey £four.99 / four.99€ / $7.99

That is so silly. I shouldn’t be having fun with this a lot. Lonk is somewhat dude who’s referred to as upon by the king to do heroic stuff, however as soon as he leaps away from bed it’s solely as much as you what you do. Sprint to the fortress and seize your defend, however the guards received’t allow you to out the again till you go up the mountain to select up a flowery sword. Try this and – oh hey there’s some pleasant NPC and I’ve a sword, so STABTIME.

This will get Lonk despatched to jail for homicide. As soon as he’s out, he can begin once more, and this time I’ll do it correctly. And find yourself squished underneath a large raise. Oops. Happily Lonk learns to stay with out his bones, and leaps away from bed as soon as extra to have one other go of issues.

“See all of the endings” isn’t all that uncommon as a… I suppose it’s a subgenre? However in any case, Lonk’s Journey is foolish and humorous and whereas it might begin to get repetitive, it’s probably not meant to be performed for hours on finish, however in shortish bursts whenever you really feel like enjoying round and seeing whether or not the sport considered what-if-I-do-this. It often has.

Decide of the Week: Oh, I could by no means forgive myself for denying a robust Settlers-like. I solely actually liked the primary one, see, and after 2 they have been all so disappointing that… properly, anyway it’s Headliner: NoviNews.

Some points can really feel somewhat bit pressured. There have been a number of situations the place I felt insufficiently knowledgeable about a difficulty to approve a bit by hook or by crook, which I’m uncertain easy methods to interpret, because it may properly be an intentional commentary on journalistic requirements. I additionally felt uncertain precisely what my public picture was at occasions, probably as a result of I’d often run considerably conflicting objects. It’s additionally a bit jarring to drive a nation to finish chaos in underneath every week, however I suppose the choice would have meant a tedious decades-long sport of progressively poisoning public discourse till your fool son takes over the empire.

However! Exaggeration is probably going essential in political video games, notably ones about journalism, and that I felt uncomfortable might be a Good Factor. I’m actually curious to see extra of it and to see what else I can rise up to (there are fairly frequent conversations too, with a variety of attainable responses) and what impact it’ll have. Additionally you’ll be able to undertake and pet a stray canine. I referred to as her “Floofenbiebe”. My solely remorse is that that is clearly a cat identify.

Now, to see us out, let’s have some extra of the shameless self-indulgence that made all this attainable:

from SpicyNBAChili.com http://spicymoviechili.spicynbachili.com/best-new-steam-games-from-off-the-beaten-track/

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sailor-artemis · 7 years

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1... 2... 3... fuck it 20!!

Another anon also asked for some of these asks, so here we go! I’m sorry for being so late on this, but it’s been a while since I’ve had free time and I’m in front of a computer.

1: a video game you’d recommend: There are so many good ones, here’s a few of my favorites: Firewatch, Overwatch, Undertale, OneShot, Battleblock Theater, Shovel Knight, Crypt of the Necrodancer, Bastion, Transistor, Portal (1 & 2), The Turing Test, The Talos Principle, Mirror’s Edge, and One Finger Death Punch.

2: favorite pair of socks: To be honest, any pair of fuzzy socks I own are my favorites. I’m not sure why exactly they’re only marketed to women/girls; I don’t want cold feet just because I’m a dude.

3: an odd thing from your room: I don’t have too many odd things in my dorm room, but in my room at home I possess a monopoly set from the late 1940s/early 1950s that’s still in the plastic wrap.

4: if you made a gang what would the design/text on the back of our matching jackets be: I have no idea, something gay??? I like phoenixes so probably something to with that and just,,, pride flags everywhere (anyone who can draw and knows what I’m talking about slide those concept designs into that submission box)

5:if you were in a fantasy world what would be your 'trademark' item/feature: I honestly can’t decide between really powerful magic and the ability to communicate and work with magical creatures (like Newt Scamander)/

6: if you were an npc what quest would you give (and what reward): Find me a boyfriend and I will give you my eternal gratitude and some dark chocolate. (seriously though, just get me a couple records from the record store and I’ll give you the food anyway)

7:dream Lego set: I remember really wanting the huge Death Star set as a kid. Never got it. I’m going to pretend that it’s the source of all of my adult problems.

8: do I have any scout badges: HELL YEAH EAGLE SCOUT BOYYYYYYYYYYY seriously though I think I have somewhere in the neighborhood of ~24-27 badges? I can’t remember them all but I’m an Eagle Scout so I had at least 21

9: a book you’d recommend: Three major recommendations, and all of them are sci-fi set in the future: Red Rising Trilogy by Pierce Brown, Leviathan Wakes by James S.A. Corey, and Ready Player One by Ernest Cline. All are excellent and I love them dearly.

10: favourite 'made-up' creature from any universe: I really fuckin love phoenixes. don’t know what else to say.

11: what instrument(s) do you play/any you wish you could play: I sing, and play a little piano and drums; I wish I could do all of them at a higher level than singing in the shower and playing small riffs on the piano, but I’m busy and that’s life sometimes

12: a character you wish you could pull off the perfect cosplay for: SO MANY geez probably Corrin (M) from Fire Emblem or maybe Link from LoZ? Also someone from Legend of Korra or Fullmetal Alchemist???? So many characters??? Corrin would be my first choice though

13:favourite Terrible™ movie: The Room. Hands down. “YOU’RE TEARING ME APART LISA!”

14: do you speak any other languages: besides Java and memes, sadly only a little bit of spanish

15: how many time telling devices are in the room with you: many. I am surrounded by computers.

16: a random useless fact you know: I know all of the names of the players for the Chicago Blackhawks by number, does that count?

17: create a tag urself meme description of yourself:

- hopeless romantic

- gay as fuck

- speaks in memes to mask depression

18: what is your weapon of choice: knowledge. just kidding, Corrin’s Yato would be pretty lit

19: do you like waffles: not really, and that’s a vintage meme. step up your game, writer of this ask meme

And that’s a wrap!

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ciathyzareposts · 5 years

Text

Treasures of the Savage Frontier: Confederacy of Dunces

This should have been clearer a lot sooner.

Treasures consisted of three major phases. The first was the introductory section in Llorkh, Loudwater, and Secomber. The second was the foiling of the evil plots in the various Lords’ Alliance cities: Waterdeep, Daggerford, the Way Inn, Leilon, Triboar, Yartar, Longsaddle, Port Llast, Mintarn, Orlumbor, and Neverwinter. (Of these, Port Llast is odd in that it seemed to be completely optional.) This also involved trips to Luskan and Ruathym. The section culminates at a council meeting in Mirabar, where you present your evidence on the Hosttower/Zhentarim/Kraken scheme and thus forestall war in the area. Part three has you explore a few villages and a cave in the frozen north to recover a magic gem from a dragon named Freezefire. I’ll cover the third phase in my final entry.

Part two manages to be satisfyingly non-linear. Amanitas gives you the next-easiest city every time you contact him, but you can do the towns in any order. More important, visiting cities “out of order” does not trigger events prematurely or otherwise break the plotline. You can go to Mirabar early in the game, for instance, but it’s just a regular town with various shops and services until events elsewhere trigger the council meeting and the Zhentarim presence.

Good descriptions replace banal graphics as we arrive in Longsaddle.

In my case, I went from my last entry to Longsaddle, a somewhat goofy “frontier” town in which honest, plain-spoken folk run farms and ranches and use words like “reckon.” Members of the Kraken Society had been invading farmsteads and tying up the residents, but I kicked in front doors and liberated the places one-by-one. The ruler of the town, Malchor Harpell, wasn’t around–his doorman said he was at the Tower of Twilight to the west–but after I defeated all the enemies in the town, his apparition showed up to congratulate me.

Residents of Longsaddle are mostly caricatures.

Amanitas suggested I hit Mintarn next, but that’s an island and I wasn’t sure which port town would take me there. Thus, I decided to complete the loop of road I was already on, which took me prematurely to Mirabar. I was happy to find a couple of stores selling magic items. One sold +1 magic weapons, including magic arrows, which are the traditional “money sink” of the Gold Box series. Here, they screwed it up a bit because they made 10 of them cost only 30 platinum pieces, not the several thousand per batch that you find in other games.

This shop took a small percentage of my money.

These magic shops showed up in a couple of other towns, too, some of them selling some +2 items. I did my best with them. I bought anyone not wearing a cloak a Cloak of Protection even though I don’t think they stack with leather armor. I bought everyone Belts +2 even though they also don’t seem to do anything with armor. I upgraded my two clerics to staff slings +1. I bought hundreds of arrows +1 for anyone with a bow. I bought my wizard Wands of Ice Storm and Lightning Bolt for occasions when he can’t cast, and I also bought him every mage scroll I could find to increase the spells in his book. I bought Potions of Giant Strength for everyone and would have bought dozens of them to use in front of every battle but they don’t stack and I was already having issues with inventory space. Despite all these purchases, I never exhausted my supply of gems, let alone having to sell the more valuable jewelry. In fact, at one point I actually lost my entire pile of gems by accidentally having an NPC pick them up (you can’t trade items or wealth from an NPC), and yet I still made up enough in the subsequent hours that I never had to appraise a piece of jewelry.

This shop would have taken a lot more of my money if scrolls and potions stacked.

Mirabar is divided into north and south sections, the south run by humans and the north populated by dwarves. The dwarves work a mine, and even though I was visiting the city prematurely, there were some mine-related encounters that had nothing to do with the Zhent plot. After I fought some giants and purple worms, the dwarves rewarded me with a two-handed sword +3.

One of the few battles available in Mirabar this early in the game.

I took a break between Mirabar and continuing on, which turned out to be lucky. When I reloaded the game, the copy protection question asked me for a word after the heading “Tower of Twilight.” This reminded me that the Tower is a real place and not just a throw-away reference in Longsaddle. So I backtracked a bit to find it, which wasn’t hard.

The Tower of Twilight, directly west of Longsaddle.

It was a small, weird experience. After I entered the tower, a voice said we’d have to overcome some beasts before he’d help us. These turned out to be a bunch of electric spiders and (in a separate encounter) an iron golem. The electric spiders were annoying, firing lightning bolts with every attack, but I managed to take them out with swords, “Hold Monster,” and “Charm Monster.” The iron golem fell to physical attacks from anyone with a +3 weapon or higher, slowed with a “Lightning Bolt.”

When these creatures were dead, Malchor Harpell agreed to tutor my mage, Monitor. She went away for a little while and then came back “very satisfied” with a new Black Crystal Ring. The game said she got experience, but it wasn’t enough to rise a level. She didn’t get any extra spell slots from the ring or otherwise, and the ring never seemed to do anything. I’m not sure what the entire purpose of the side-journey was.

Are you sure you’ve been studying magic, Monitor?

My first visit to Luskan was a bust. All the high captains wanted tribute, but none were available to just attack. Trying to bash my way into the Hosttower of the Arcane just triggered an impossible battle against a bazillion mages who all went first, blasting us to smithereens with “Ice Storm” or paralyzing us all with “Hold Monster.” I want to see how this battle plays out with my Pools of Darkness party later.

Attacking the Hosttower is a good way to get hit with 50 “Ice Storms” in a row.

Port Llast was similarly uneventful. There were a few random battles. I had thought to find the ship to Mintarn here, but the only thing I could do in the city was take a sea tour, which led to an episode in which pirates attacked the boat, which led to us firing a cannon (through text menus) at the pirates and sinking them, which gained us some experience.

That finally brought us to Neverwinter. I had only explored a little of the city when I visited Lord Nasher and he had us arrested, apparently still believing that we had kidnapped the ambassadors. There was no opportunity for us to show evidence or plead our case, so we were treated to another scripted sequence in which Nasher declined to execute us because of our heroism in Ascore. Instead, he had us exiled to Farr Windward.

So maybe listen to our pleas of innocence now? Are we even pleading?

Farr Windward turned out to be on the same island as Orlumbor–the two cities are connected by a series of caverns. It was easily the most bizarre sequence of the game. Our boat crashed as we neared the city, which turned out to be a good thing, because we had to crawl ashore. If we’d entered through customs, they would have branded us with a mark that basically made us permanent outcasts. Everyone in Farr Windward had this brand, and their exile had either driven them insane or that’s why they were exiled in the first place. As we arrived, the town was having a parade for one of its members who had died. Everyone we talked to was slightly goofy. Unfortunately, the city seems to have been invented for the game and is not otherwise discussed in Forgotten Realms lore.

A shop selling “Certificates of Normalcy” was par for the course in Farr Windward.

A weird fighter/cleric named Ougo joined the party. Or, I guess, he was just acting weird. As we explored the town and defeated a series of Kraken spies, it turned out he had a plan to free the people of Farr Windward. It involved recovering the brand used on the exiles in the first place, then using it on Tulgar Wrighttson, leader of Orlumbor, so that he’d have to either go into exile himself or annul the entire branding system and thus free Farr Windward. At the same time, the party was trying to convince Wrighttson that the ships blockading his harbor were not from Waterdeep, despite their false flags, but rather the Luskan pirates.

It all worked out, but the plot started to annoy me a bit. It seems far too easy for the evil forces to convince the members of the Lords’ Alliance that they’re being betrayed. Has this part of the world never heard of false flags and stolen uniforms before? If my party hadn’t come around, would they have even bothered to contact each other and straighten things out? And here’s a tip for time travelers: When you go back to 1930s Germany, just kill Hitler. Don’t try to stop the Holocaust by slipping a Star of David armband on him at night. There are ways for the wealthy and powerful to get around such things. This is the second game I can think of that uses this trope, the other being Dishonored, and it didn’t make any more sense there.

“Guards, take him away!” “Sorry, sir, we have to arrest you now, even though if you had acquired that brand through any legitimate process, we almost certainly would have heard about it.”

A store in Farr Windward sold indecipherable equipment called “Farrberjiks.” But because I had more money than I knew what to do with, I bought everyone “Farrberjik Lined Boots,” and damned if they didn’t subtract a point from armor class.

I have no idea.

The caves in between the two cities had some interesting encounters with enemies I’ve never heard of before: giant kampfults, great vilstraks, and rock reptiles. Kampfults seem like giant collections of vines; vilstraks look like earth elementals; and rock reptiles are, like their name suggests, giant lizards made out of stone. None was terribly hard, but kampfults seem to have some kind of “smothering” attack, much like shambling mounds, that keep a character immobile until the beast is killed.

Both responded satisfyingly to “Fireball.”

As we prepared to sail away from Orlumbor, Siulajia got kidnapped by some sailors who hauled her off in a burlap sack. The captain of the transport ship refused to follow the kidnappers, and I had options to stay or take the ship to its original destination. Since the game didn’t give me enough information to determine which option would get me closer to Siulajia, I decided to stay with the ship and head for Mintarn. Broadside was sad.

The problem in Mintarn was the same as in Orlumbor: Luskan pirates pretending to be the Waterdeep navy, blockading the port. About half of the city’s available squares were water, and it didn’t take long to clear out the rest of the buildings and warehouses of the various groups of giants, Hosttower mages, Kraken spies, and Zhentil lords that were gathered there. One battle introduced an efreet.

The “Lucky Paper” outlines the group’s plan for Orlumbor. But do the Luskan pirates and the Waterdeep navy really use the same ships? Is the flag itself really the only way to tell?

We were joined for a time by Princess Jagaerda of Gundarlun, also a companion from the first game, who as a powerful fighter was a nice replacement for Siulajia. I found her late in my explorations of the city, though, and she departed when we returned to the mainland.

Eventually, we found the necessary enemy papers to prove that they were using fake Waterdeep uniforms and flags, and we presented these to the leader of Mintarn, ominously named The Tyrant, who gave us a +3 trident as a reward. My ranger used it for the rest of the game.

My party really is just the most pathetic group of do-gooders.

We returned to Neverwinter. During our absence, Lord Nasher apparently discovered the truth about things, as he was extremely apologetic for disbelieving us and exiling us in the first place. He asked us to hunt around the city for the missing ambassadors, and we found them both in secret areas after defeating their captors in battle.

This has never gotten old and never will get old.

We went back to Luskan at this point but still couldn’t find anything new to do in the city, with one exception. We ran into Princess Jagaerda again just as she defeated a band of evil forces, and she recommended that we take a ship for Ruathym, where the leader, Captain Redleg, had either been captured or turned by the conspiracy. It was another map of clearing buildings before convincing the leader of our cause and getting his support.

Now I want to rewatch The Outlaw Josey Wales.

Redleg joined the party for a while and helped us clear out the rest of the town. He departed just as we ran into Jagaerda again, and she joined us for the second time.

Jagaerda tempts a blogger to devolve into crudity.

My party had gained a couple levels, and I wanted to try the Luskan Hosttower again. Unfortunately, upon return to the Hosttower, it was just locked. I couldn’t trigger the same battle again. Fortunately, the game now let us assault the homes of the pirate captains and otherwise have our vengeance on the city. In some building, we came across a bunch of guards holding Siulajia. She and Broadside were joyously reunited–just as Ougo decided to return home. Jagaerda also left us when we left Luskan.

The male NPCs have a strange way of bowing out every time female NPCs appear.

Some documents suggested that the conspirators had kidnapped Siulajia because of her family, which confused her because she said they were just normal people living in the High Forest. As we’ll discuss next time, I’m pretty sure the developers were establishing High Forest as the setting for the sequel.

For the record, that’s not very far from where we started the game.

At last, it came time to visit the council in Mirabar. On our second visit to the city, we ran into numerous encounters with enemy forces not present the first time. They culminated with our visit to the Council Chambers, where the representatives were talking of war–until we presented the various “lucky papers” along with our report on the conspirators’ activities.

The game is being kind here. I didn’t save all 10 lucky papers.

The leaders were in the middle of thanking us for our work when the doors burst open and a very large group of Hosttower sorceresses, Kraken agents, and Zhentarim lords. They were the same types of enemies I had faced in countless previous battles, but they were very hard in this one.

The final battle starts you with groups to the north, west, and east of the party. More appear after the first round.

The key problem–as a couple of commenters have pointed out–is that if enemy spellcasters get the drop on you, the battle swiftly becomes unwinnable. This one featured at least 12 mages in the opening round, and maybe another 8 joined in subsequent rounds. (By the way, I came to hate that particular addition to the game mechanics.) They started in three groups in different locations, so they couldn’t all be targeted with one “Fireball” even if my mage had a chance to act. Almost all the spellcasters started with “Hold” spells, and each spell was capable of targeting three or four characters. On my first two attempts at battle, I ended up with all or most of my party held and slaughtered by the end of the first round.

Properly prepared this time.

It was only after a few reloads (informed, now, with buffing spells) that I got a handle on the battle, using hastened fighters to charge and occupy the mages and hastened clerics to charge and “Hold” them long enough for my mage to get a chance to damage them en masse. But I made the mistake of wasting all my best spells in the first couple of rounds, thus having nothing left to deal with groups of mages gating in during the third and fourth rounds. Altogether, it took me five attempts to win the battle. Both this battle and some of the others late in the game require you to carefully note the location and status of each spellcaster, and in particular whether you’ve already damaged him or he’s already cast a spell that round. You have to be willing to pull characters out of melee combat (giving enemies a few free swipes) and switch them to ranged weapons so they can target undamaged spellcasters who haven’t acted yet. Since the original Pool of Radiance, only the final battles in Pools of Darkness required this much attention to detail.

Miscellaneous notes:

Gateway and Treasures have seven locations in common. Of them, Llorkh, Yartar, Luskan, and Neverwinter use the same maps between the two games. (And as a bonus, Neverwinter’s is the same as used in 1991’s Neverwinter Nights.) There are only a couple of minor changes, such as doors where there were once arches. Neverwinter’s map in Treasures adds a couple of docks. The map of Secomber in Gateway is half of the map of the city in Treasures. Loudwater is unrecognizable between the two games, as is Port Llast, although in the latter case I think the maps are showing two different areas of the city.

One consequence of having two characters in love: when either gets knocked unconscious or killed in combat, the other “frenzies” and is taken out of my control.

“Quick” combat is pretty good about transitioning between melee weapons and missile weapons as necessary, with one exception: It does not recognize staff slings. Characters who possess them and cannot get to enemies in melee range just dither around doing nothing. It otherwise works well enough that I don’t know why the developers couldn’t give me a command to toggle between missile and melee weapons rather than forcing me to go into the inventory screen.

For a series that does a great job overloading you with so much money that you never have to worry about it, there are an awful lot of times where you’re asked, “Who will pay?,” and you have to try several options because you don’t remember exactly how much each character is carrying, and then sometimes you have to leave and go find a shop to sell a gem because you can’t pay in gems or jewelry even though they’re worth a lot more that what you’re being asked for. Why does the party have individual wealth at all?

I have a theory that the events described above, culminating with the battle in Mirabar, were originally supposed to end the game. The battle was about as difficult as an endgame battle should be, and we clearly resolved the main plot. The only reason I can see for phase three, which feels completely superfluous, was that someone decided that the game wasn’t long enough. See if you agree when we wrap up the game in a few days.

Time so far: 23 hours

source http://reposts.ciathyza.com/treasures-of-the-savage-frontier-confederacy-of-dunces/

#retro games #dos games #retro #crpg #adventure #amiga #oldcomputers #8bit #16bit #blog #repost

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touchedbythegreenman · 5 years

Text

When the Players were NPCs

So I ran a one shot where the whole point was that the players did NOT know who they were and would need to work it out as they went.

The players woke up in a ditch and set to figuring out their identities and what they had on them. I had a list of odd things. One person had a mummified finger, a necklace of teeth and a collection of seashells for instance. I'd given them the basics of their personality and while the Half-Orc helped the Elf and Human out to the ditch, the 'anally retentive and particular' Gnome worked his way through the things he'd found from waving his Rod of Destruction at things (which did nothing) to chewing on the magic herbs (which I don't even) to rubbing his Amulet of Knowledge which caused a random teleportation spell to get him out of the ditch.

The Gnome's player stepped away from the game for a second while zombies appeared and the Half-Orc (while the others rolled initiative) shouted 'I PICK UP THE GNOME AND RUN FOR IT'. So they fled the zombies. They were then attacked by some bandits out after the bounty on their heads (they had discovered their names at this point and that the Gnome (Drakhor the Vengeful) was being hunted by a warlord.

The gnome ran up to the lead bandit and hit him with the Rod of Destruction, destroying his pants. (Note that I was playing liberally with normal rules for this game)

The Half-Orc then seduced the lead bandit into just taking her to a bar and getting her something to drink while the Gnome gave up on the rest of the party as useful companions and instead intimidated the other bandits into becoming his followers (No 1, No 2 and No 3).

What followed was the most brilliant thing I have witnessed in a long time:

· They got the lead bandit to regale them with stories about themselves so they figured out what they were like.

· They found out that the bounty payer for the bounty was in a local brothel and so went to the brothel, made friends with everyone there and located the bounty-payer.

· He had two rogues with him. There was some posturing between them all, but before anyone could roll for initiative the Half-Orc said 'Darling, let me explain something to you -' and threw her daggers at the two rogues, killing one of them.

· Drakhor then intimidated the bounty-payer into telling him everything while the kleptomaniac human tried to steal the desk from the room very unsuccessfully.

· The half-orc wandered off to have sex with some people, the human and elf (who had been told they were a great romance) went off to have sex themselves (so many people had sex) and Drakhor just headed off to sleep and plot. At this point the idea of 'sexy feather dusters' was introduced to the game and never quite left. Everyone always seemed to have feather dusters.

· People did some recon in the morning until Drakhor got up and promptly intimidated the whole village into joining his army to take on the warlord.

· He also sent his bandit minions to recruit all surrounding bandits to his cause.

· Panicked by this turn of events, the others went around town making sure the un-trained villagers would have the right equipment. The Elf got weapons, potions and medical assistance (before venting to a nice old lady how stressed he was over the whole relationship with someone he doesn't know thing) while the Orc and Human had a spa day with the women from the village and helped start a women's rights movement.

· The Orc then went off and seduced a bunch of lumberjacks into making siege weapons while the Human made herself bullets and the Elf got advice from some local women in the hopes of improving his relationship.

· They also decided to capture a number of zombies from the marshes and put them in cages at the front lines of their war. I rolled for it and they captured SIXTY NINE.

· So they take their 140 strong army, their 5 siege weapons, their zombies and they attacked the warlord's camp in a glorious 4-pronged attack that was incredibly epic. The human took the rogues and snuck around the right to bomb one side while the elf caused a distraction at the back with some of the better warriors. The orc set up the siege weapons with her big green kiss covered rocks before rushing into battle. Drakhor got directly challenged by the warlord and fought him with help from the Orc.

· Just as they slaughtered the warlord a dragon appeared with the real Drakhor and his friends on it who explained that since the warlord had been tracking them they had planted their gear on these people and left them in a ditch to be captured and murdered so they could sneak up on him unsuspected.

· At this point the memory spell was broken and the players remembered who they were - a barmaid, a sex worker, an undertaker and a very stressed farmer. The barmaid (who thought she was with the elf) really had a crush on the gnome due to being raised by dwarves.

· Seeing as they had all heard stories of the violence and indiscriminate killing perpetrated by these 'heroes' our plucky NPCs stared at them and said 'Mate, you want your gear back? We have an army." And two of them instantly rolled nat 20s.

· So they left the 'heroes' in the cages they'd kept the zombies in, took their army, the barmaid and farmer stayed together, and they went off to destroy evil in this world.

#dnd #dungeons and dragons #pathfinder #this was a fun game #I'm going to write a book sometime

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tumblunni · 7 years

Text

I had a weird cool dream!

It was like some kind of mmorpg, and the intro was kinda like that bus from the third harry potter movie? Everyone started on a long several days bus trip from their various back story tutorial areas to the main town, and the quirky cast of bus staff would give you more tutorials on the more optional features and guilds and stuff. I remember I got one free costume dye thing, and I thought that was a great idea! Everyone's newbie clothes would look more distinct and you'd feel more customized! And it'd be a good preview of an ability you wouldn't be able to use again for ages.

Anyway the main bus NPC was a Cool Gay Grandma who I think maybe was married to the tailor shop grandma so that's why you got the free clothes? Probably you could see more of the tailor grandma later and get attached to her as she talks about missing her adventurer wife who drives all over the world in her magic bus, and then maybe there could be a side quest or something to deliver a love letter between them and you'd have to disguise yourself as a poor newbie in need to catch the bus again...

Man I'm going offtopic lol! Anyway I remember that bus grandma had big red goggles like xerosic and she was super tiny and super nice but also A SPEED DEMON. Her bus was like the monster truck of buses, it was like a whole moving apartment block with giant exhausts/chimneys and then it would blaze across the continents so fast you could make any journey in 3 days. And similar to the bus from harry potter it was like invisible and imtangeable to anyone she didn't choose to allow on as a passenger. But like it felt less like an impossible natural magical occurance and more like one really crazy awesome lady who spent her life finding ways to defy physics just to help everyone everywhere with monster truck power~! Also apparently in this universe it was some sort of stereotype that gay grandmas have dogs cos she was like 'well I guess you guessed cos of the dog toys' and that was like.. The only incoherent part of the dream. She just pointed to some insane unknowable dream object that was apparently a dog toy. It looked like a skateboard made out of those rubber hotdogs?? Also I think she probably either had a tiny Cerberus puppy or a giant sized regular dog. Something monstery! I think it was what fueled the engine with its fire breath, but I didn't get to see it during the dream.

And then the race I picked in this game was demon, and I was like some sort of adorable lalafell-ish one? Like, you could actually select character age, not just one race of kid lookin charries. The vast majority of other demon players were all buff or sexualized or emo teens or whatever and I was just like 'hello, tiny shonen protagonist here!' (Cos it was more like a ten year old than like.. Whatever lalafells are. Five? That would be more messed up if it was an actual five year old being attacked by monsters rather than just a magic fairy who looks younger than they really are.)

Oh and there was like a preview of.. I think guildmasters? Some sort of characters that would be bigger important roles during your journey. But when you met em here it was just like 'hey some odd but nice random customers on the bus.' They'd appear at random every day and sometimes chat with you or join in to help your tutorials and stuff. (Apparently bus grandma is so badass she can boss around the government officials of the demon capital and they'll react like frightened school kids! "If you want a free ride, you'll do some work, Sonny Jim!" "Can't I just pay you?" "NO." *points to sign: free since 96*)

So yeah after your few days journey tutorialy you'd get off the bus and realise HOLY SHIT I WAS TALKING TO IMPORTANT GUYS. I don't remember much about what any of em looked like tho or what guilds they led. Like was it a political thing or were they like the job class masters? But I do remember that they were all demons and I think you'd get a whole different cast of them depending on which race you picked and which starting city was at the end of the line. And I just remember one of them was a cool lady with like the cliche samurai ponytail and then really eye-catching thin elaborately patterned horns that looked the colour of molten metal. She was possibly the swordmaster teacher? And she was all seriously and she had like a.. Friend or brother maybe? There was another character who was always hanging out with her and being all huggy and jokey and she had a general attitude of 'if this was anyone else I would have killed them for that'. Like total opposite chilled out Hau-esque personality and somehow bffs with serious lady. I think he had curly afro hair and blue ram horns that looked kinda like seashells? And might have worn a striped scarf. They were like opposites but I think possibly she also had a scarf and it was like some super serious tattered one that's seen a thousand battles and flows behind her like a sentai hero. And he's just like "LOOK WE MATCH!" *the cutest thing he could find* "sigh.. Yes brother..."

And I think possibly it was some funny dynamic like they were the heads of rival job classes and all their students hate each other and then its like 'hey sis mom packed you a lunch' *hugs* *then straight back to battling* But I got the sense that hugs bro wasn't really into the rivalry, he was just comically oblivious that his team all hate the sword team, and they kept tricking him into stuff like 'yeah let's compete against them in the worldwide tournement, that'd be a full friendship activity!' *stands there blankly as everyone tries to kill each other* 'boy my sister sure does love and respect me' *currently in a headlock by her*

Oh and I think you could choose different back stories for your character? Im not entirely sure what mine was but it involved someone recognising me from a royal ball or something? So maybe I was a runaway prince masquerading as a commoner? Or maybe I was a commoner who broke into that ball and almost got caught? Maybe I was even a phantom thief???

And then the weirdest part of the dream is that I DREAMED A GLITCH IN THE GAME?? On the last day of the bus tutorial it suddenly lagged out from too many players disembarking at once. I think it was something like the whole side quest was a solo instance until the last minute, but they kinda planned it badly and the bus couldn't handle the sheer volume of newbies all taking the quest at the same time. So I literally couldn't get through the door from so many people, and then the lag glitches me out and flew me forward several days in game time. (Cos of the sidequest's gimmick of having multiple days pass with different events) it was like a two week long session of redoing the same tutorials, and then cos the tailor shop preview was time limited all my equipment had vanished by the time I finally got out.

I think the developers said the intention was that you could 'get your first sight of multiplayer' and hopefully make friends with other newbies, but they planned it poorly. So in later patches everything on the bus was singleplayer and then they added sort of a lobby area for newbies only chat and stuff before you got into the main game. And limited it to only showing players in randomly selected blocks of fifty, but with a mailbox NPC that could teleport your friends to the same version of the room if you had a name to go on. (But then it had more glitches with people who'd summon 100 friends to a place with a capacity of 50, but it was generally considered 'well that's your own fault')

So weirdly developed! I think I was playing a real game from another dimension!

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