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razorblade180 · 4 years

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interdimensional dads 5 (Finale)

Orange, Blue, and Purple all make a drum roll on the table as they stare at Red, who is sipping coffee and trying not to laugh at the lunacy that is quite literally, himself.

Jaune: Y’all dome?

*drum roll stops*

Jaune:Yep, your turn. You have to be the buffest for a reason right?

Jaune:And look like you’ve seen shit?

Jaune:We’ve all been through shit. We’re us!

Jaune:Yeah, but you’re you.

Jaune:How- I’m not arguing with that one. Okay, my turn. Since you brought it up, we, I gained weight for a little bit and eventually got back into a workout routine. I might’ve went a little overboard but no one complains.

Jaune:Alright, now we can back this story up and start from wherever you like.

Jaune:Aight, I guess I start with my universe beating Salem. By that point, Ruby and I had been together for awhile. I think we were always together to a degree ever since RNJR formed. We obviously didn’t actually say anything but the time we spent felt different. At least for me it did. Maybe mourning Pyrrha had something to do with it but by the time Yang and Weiss showed up at Haven, Ruby and I were definitely on “friendly terms”

Jaune:Aaaaayyyyeeee!

Jaune:You two are too much. Haha, let him continue.

Jaune:We were trying to keep it lowkey but I’m sure everyone knew. Back to Salem, that was insane. If you were to tell me I’d help save the world when I was only 19 then I’d laugh.

Jaune:Wait...19? I was twenty.

Jaune:Same.

Jaune: I was 21! Are you saying Ruby beat Salem at 17!? That’s insane! Which one of us has the strongest versions of our friends? I never thought about it until now.

They all got silent and thought about it for a moment. That was a very good question.

Jaune:Ummm mysterious voice? Do you have an answer to that?

[Each person varies, but a majority is between Orange and Red. For example, Orange has the strongest Blake, while Red has the strongest Sun.]

Jaune:What about in terms of team RWBY?

[The feats in all universes make that a close race. Red, Orange, and Blue have extremely powerful Yangs that would most likely in a brutal draw. Collectively, the strongest team RWBY would be a tie between Red and Orange]

Jaune:Makes sense, my worlds peaceful.

Jaune:And mine doesn’t have any organized threat against it, just the dangers of living in a world trying to grasp the concept magic and gods again.

Jaune:Well we might not have a concrete answer but I’m sure my wife beats your Ruby. After beating Salem we continued traveling the world to thin out grimm threats, just the two of us. Not that the others didn’t want to but they needed a moment to breathe. Ruby and I however, we were kinda on a high of being the heroes we always dreamed of.

Jaune:Your victory lap was more adventure? Yeah you’re definitely built different from me. My Ruby went on missions but even she took a minute just to breathe. It was a very short minute, but the minute none the less.

[Comparing the two is like comparing an lone apex wolf to a jaguar.]

Jaune:Well then....all of that sounds scary.

Jaune:It wasn’t long before we got a house together. Built it actually, in Vacou. It’s a nice little spot over looking the town and another one in the distance. When Ruby was 19 she had really gotten into her stride and was only getting started. Also, I married her. I had known for awhile that she was the one so why wait? I wanted to go on all of her adventures and create new ones with her.

Jaune:Aaaaawwwww

Jaune:Things were like walking on sunshine. All of Remnant knew about Ruby Rose, the huntress that saved the world with her friends. Then at 21, I got her pregnant. *scratches head*

Jaune:I know that scratch. That’s the “My bad” scratch!

Jaune:Okay, it wasn’t exactly planned. I was thrilled when I found out since I did want kids with her. I learned a month after she knew though because she wasn’t sure what to think at first. Ruby was perfectly happy being the hero, she hadn’t even hit her prime yet technically. When she told me though, it was after she had talked about it with Tai and thought about it. I think she might’ve been happier than me.

Jaune:My Ruby would give anything to have a kid.

Jaune:Mine would give anything for her husband back...

The mood suddenly got a little less cheery with that statement.

Jaune:Sorry, I didn’t mean to bring the mood down.

Jaune:It’s fine...this next part....isn’t happy. It’s the reason I fell out of shape, and partly the reason why I look like I’ve gone through shit.

Jaune:Oh....no...

Jaune:You lost the baby?

Jaune:Yeah but uhhh, not the way you’re thinking. The pregnancy was fine, the birth was a little rough but it was fine. A little baby boy, Dustin Arc-Rose. I saw him for about five minutes and then he was stolen, by Neo and Cinder. I must’ve ran the fastest I’ve ever had that day. Faster than even Ruby can move on a good day, and yet they got away. Yang, Weiss, and I stood on the roof of that hospital and watched the airship fade into the sunset. I must’ve stayed up there for hours, screaming. Yang and Weiss kept it together for my sake but not by much.

Jaune:Dude I am....I am so sorry that you went through that.

Jaune:We showed mercy to Cinder the day we beat Salem. It came back to bite us. Things fell apart after that. I shutdown, the others felt guilty, especially Yang. As for Ruby, she broke a little. She looked longer than anyone else for a lead and drowned herself in work for about a year. In that time we didn’t talk, I never knew where she was, if she’d come back. Tai ended up taking me to live with him and unfortunately, time wasn’t gonna wait for anyone. Lives had to be lived, Yang and Blake still had to get married. It just didn’t happen with Ruby.

Jaune:How did you even find the strength to keep going after that?

Jaune:In my world, Yang is my closet friend. Thick as thieves, the two of us always try to pick each other up. She never hesitated to be by my sad whenever I asked. I don’t think I could’ve made it without her since Ruby was gone. One day however, the two of them showed up out of the blue. Ozpin had decided to confront Ruby. For once I was glad he meddling in our lives. He got her to start moving on and come back to me. That day I realized how special my friends are. Most people would’ve looked down on me for failing, not going after Ruby, breaking down, but not them. They wanted me back on my feet for my own sake. Just like they wanted for her. I’m really blessed.

Jaune:That’s good. Friendships that you want to live for, I’m glad we wall have that in common.

Jaune:Yeah. Ruby and I took some time to be together after that. No work, no leads, just healing. In that year she was gone, Ruby had become a juggernaut in the huntsman community. Even got a nickname, The Storyteller. Keeping up with someone like that meant getting back into shape. Those months we spent together gave us a slither of the joy we had missed. Eventually, thanks to Yang having her child, we found the courage to try having another one. Her name is Carmine and she’s my gorgeous daughter. We even have another son much later named Garnet.

The other three Jaune’s clap happily.

Jaune:Yeah, that’s definitely a lot of shit to go through.

Jaune:Hats off to ya.

Jaune:How’s Carmine?

Jaune:*puts head on the table* Uuuugggghhh!

Jaune:Yeah, that’s sound you make when you have a headstrong daughter. Who does she take after?

Jaune:That’s just it, she doesn’t really. Not in personality anyways. Carmine is a bit weird socially. She can be pretty blunt, making her sound rude. She doesn’t mind having friends but at the same time keeps them at arms reach. She says they would slow her down. Not to mention her and Ruby’s vision of what a huntress should be doesn’t match up perfectly so they end up butting heads on occasion. Still, Carmine is sweet if you know how to talk to her and understand her words.

Jaune:She gifted?

Jaune:*inhales*....Carmine is genius in battle. We taught her ourselves and sent her to regular school so she gained a bit of social skills. No one outside of selected few knows she has silver eyes. Carmine wears red contacts typically. New types of grimm pop up regularly so Cinder is obviously alive and well. Can’t be too careful.

Jaune:Sounds stressful. I’d rather deal with cult and my world’s grimm problem than Cinder. How old is Carmine?

Jaune: She’s 17 and more impressive than Ruby was at that age if I’m being honest. Though I’m not sure if that’s a good thing. We’ve done our best to give her a normal childhood as much as possible. I think what we gave was an odd mix of normal and insanity.

Jaune:Honestly, same.

Jaune:What do you mean Carmine is more impressive? Ruby was awesome since day zero at Beacon.

Jaune:Silver eye use, age five.

......

Red took a sip of his coffee while everyone tried to wrap that around their head.

Jaune:Since a young age, I knew Carmine was special. She has a difficult time showing up but she loves the Remnant we’re trying to build and the people in it that want to do good. I’ve seen her look out over cities before and I could feel the immense desire she had to preserve it. That girl has a strength I don’t think I could take credit for. That stern look, height, hair, and guitar skills though, That’s me. The tipsy of her hair are red though. She’s like a half ripe strawberry, hahaha.

Jaune:Sounds like an incredible girl. Must be pretty popular.

Jaune:If she could come off a bit nicer she would! I’d give up Pumpkin Pete’s for life if this kid could learn to work well with others. I’m glad people like her cousin and a couple of others that can deal with her. It’s not all bad. They know to bring out the normal teenager with her.

Jaune:Is she like Ruby and panics at rats?

Jaune:No, but she can’t deal with spiders. We have grimm spiders that are actually terrifying and that ruined normal spiders with her too.

Jaune:Grimm spiders? How big? A boot size?

Jaune:SUV....one spun her in a web. It was really bad.

Jaune:Fuuuuuuck that! I’d hate spiders too!

Jaune:Yeah but she has fun. Ballet, sleep, horses, etc. You just have to get her to work up to it.

Jaune:What about your son?

Jaune:Garnet? He’s five, has fat cheeks, and is probably eating some dry cereal right about now. He’s Ruby’s little teddy bear and is chillin. He’s probably the only thing that makes Carmine a big softie at the drop of a hat.

Jaune:Sounds like you’re doing pretty well for yourself? That’s good.

Jaune:We have struggles but we make things work somehow.

Jaune:I still can’t believe Cinder killed your kid. I don’t think I’d ever recover.

Jaune:Lost....we lost a kid. Killed wouldn’t be the right word. Dustin...just isn’t....it’s complicated. I don’t wanna talk about it.

Jaune:Sorry.

Jaune:It’s fine. That aside, I think most things life throws at us, we’ll handle just fine.

Jaune:What do you think Carmine is up to right now?

Jaune:Good question. I don’t think she’s on any mission or working with local authorities currently. If it’s morning then she’s in the garden. Playing with Garnet if it’s the afternoon so he’ll tired out. If it’s night time then.....

xxxx

“STAY AWAY!!!” A man screamed, shooting four bullets down a dark alley in the middle of the night. His target, a pair of shimmering red eyes that patiently stalked him from the shadows as he sprinted away. Each bullet seem to go right by his target so he continued running for his life, making a sharp right turn around a corner.

“You know eventually I’m going to catch you right?” Carmine said as she walked. “I’d rather you not make this longer than it has to be Tommy. We could be done by now if you just spoke to me.”

The only response the girl received was the sound of footsteps getting further away and a chain link fence being shook. Carmine sighed and looked around her before picking up a trash lid. She hurled it against a wall to her left and that was ahead in front of her, making it bounce off towards the right. The hunk of metal made its way around the corner with a whack! Followed by a heavy thump that hit the ground. Carmine continued walking until she turned the corner and found her target on the ground. He was rubbing his back in pain and groaning.

“Come on, I know I didn’t hit you that hard. The new head of crime orginization wouldn’t go down so-”

Suddenly the brute lunged at her, revealing a previously concealed dagger. Carmine was quick to react however, and grabbed his wrist before the blade could make contact with her exposed stomach. Carmine then twisted his hand down word and forced his entire arm slam down to the groun; the blade pierced the ground at her feet. Thick yellow liquid secreted from blade and soaked the ground.

Tommy felt his stomach dropped as he looked up to see the young girl staring down at him unimpressed. He went to reach for the knife but Carmine placed her boot on his hand, hard.

“Gah!”

“See? Now that’s what I was expecting. Too bad you’re not so good with knives. I guess you figured you didn’t have to be when it had Deathstalker venom in it huh? Now... let’s talk.”

Carmine rubbed her foot into the ground, causing Tommy to grit his teeth in pain.

“Stop!” He pleaded. “You’ll break it!”

“It won’t break if you talk fast enough. Tell me what I want to hear. A month ago you weren’t in charge. A tubby guy was and he always kept crates of his equipment in a warehouse outside of town. Then someone apparently shows up to have a meeting, tubby is enraged and kicks them out. Now he’s dead and you’re in charge, moving all of his stuff after you had a meeting. Are you getting the picture I’m painting?”

Tommy’s face goes pale. He starts struggling harder to free himself but it’s not working. Carmine can see the man start to sweat as if he got caught in the rain.

“Now I know what you’re thinking, if you tell me who obviously threatened you to move the crates, then they’ll kill you. But that’s the thing about the future Tommy...”

Carmine lifts her foot and swings it right into his face. She watches Tommy hold is face in pain before rolling him over and putting her knee on his back. Carmine grabs the knife and spooks him by stabbing it beside his face.

“It happens later. Focus on the present. Focus on what I could do to you right now and how to prevent that. Then you can think about your future.” Carmine said, not an ounce of playfulness in her voice.

“I....I....w-well I-”

“Before you try lying to me, I know how Deathstalker venom works. Only the babies are venomous and those are extremely hard to find here. Admittedly I don’t know you well but I know your men. They don’t have the patience or brains to find any here, because there aren’t many. So you either got the venom for this knife by being very diligent, going to a different continent, or someone got you the critters.”

Carmine leaned in close, barely away from his ear. “Or should I say made you some, instead of gathering them? Tommy, where is Cinder Fall?”

Tommy felt like he could vomit at any second. He couldn’t let intel leak. He sold his soul to a witch and now he has to live with it. “I....I can’t say.” He whispered, his lip trembling.

“I see. The fear is too much for you. Should’ve chose a different line of work. Maybe you’ll change your tune if you learn to fear me more?” Carmine grabbed the knife. “This won’t kill you but I doubt it’ll feel good either.”

Carmine lifted the knife and held is hand in place. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath to calm herself. She tried asking nicely. “Sorry....”

“CARMINE!” A loud voice echoed through the alleyways and made the people in it freeze. Tommy tilted his head up and got goosebumps. On the roof was a person everyone knew and criminals wish to avoid. Ruby Rose, he hadn’t seen her in person before. The woman’s cloak covered the area as she jumped down gracefully.

With no noise, her heels hit the ground and stood before the pinned man. Her piercing silver eyes borrowed into him and her long hair blew out of her face by the alley draft. Tommy’s back freed of Carmine’s knee and the young girl raised him to his feet. While Ruby’s expression was calm and oddly inviting, Carmine still looked at the man annoyed. Time was valuable and he was wasting hers. He might’ve escaped the knife but now he was stuck between two women that could all but erase him.

“Y...You’re Ruby Ro-”

“I had this under control by the way.” Carmine cut him off. “Don’t see why you intervened.

“You had him terrified and about to wet his pants. That’s a bit much don’t you think?” Ruby put her hands on her hips and shook her head. “No need to be so intense.”

Carmine mimicked her mother’s gesture. “And we care about the state of people like him why? Lackeys and gang bangers with too much ego have no right to be coddled when they’re rotting the city away from the underbelly. People like that might as well disappear.”

“Carmine that’s not how....” Ruby let out a long sigh and looked at Tommy. He was clearly trying his best to remain calm. “Sorry about her. You know teenagers, always intense in one way or another.” She let out an embarrassed chuckle.

Tommy flinched again when suddenly a burst of red petals spun around him. Next thing he knew, handcuffs were on him and his back was against the fence he tried to climb earlier. The pair of red and silver eyes stared him down from just out of the shadows. Yet he could still see Ruby’s more positive demeanor.

“I’m going to jail?” He groaned.

Ruby stepped towards him. “Depends, Tommy.” She reached out and grabbed his shoulder. “The thing is if you go to jail and I bring you in, Cinder will no doubt send someone to try and kill you. Truthfully, it’s not a bad outcome, for me. I’ll just attack your killer and get more info out of them then you most likely.”

“But...you’d stop them before they kill me, right?”

Ruby shrugged, “I can only go so fast. Who knows what could happen, Tommy. Can you take that chance, knowing you will be at the mercy of circumstances around you for gods know how long?”

“N...no” Tommy gulped.

“I mean I could let you run away right now like nothing happened, but any more meetings with Cinder would be absolute hell on your nerves because there’s no way you can keep this from her. What’s worse, you could fuck up and give us information accidentally overtime and then she’d really be mad because we’ll keep an eye on you as long as you’re doing things we don’t like; an unwilling pawn for both sides until someone knocks you off the board. How does that sound to you?” Ruby’s grip got a little tighter.

“Pr...Pretty bad-

“PRETTY BAD!?” Ruby shouted. “Tommy, you will not come out of this well. You’ll probably be dead within the month if I let you leave right now. So my question is what are you gonna do to save your own skin? Because I know what I would ask for in your situation.”

“What’s that?” He asked, almost desperate for his freedom

“I would spill my guts out to the hero because they would at least try to keep you safe if you behaved. Tell me what you know and I will personally take somewhere where you’ll have a fresh start with a new name, a new life that isn’t Illegal. You’ll still sleep with one eye open just to watch your own back but you also know there’s someone who is actively stopping the person who’d want you dead in the first place. Get off the chessboard Tommy. It sucks to be an expendable pawn.”

Tommy could feel her hand trembling. Was she...nervous? No, she was sympathetic. The way Ruby looked at him wasn’t to scare him. She was stating facts and didn’t want him being another statistic. This was the huntress everyone talked about. The one that gives lifelines and creates new endings where they shouldn’t be possible. The was Ruby Rose, the storyteller.

xxxx

Ruby holds up an envelope to the light before facing Carmine, the sound of waves rocking a boat behind them with Tommy in it. Ruby was a woman of her word. She’d take him somewhere safe.

“Here” she held out the envelop for Carmine. “Take it home, no need for me to lug it across the sea.” She waited for Carmine to say something, anything. The girl only nodded and took the thin piece of paper.

Carmine started to walk off but heard Ruby take a step towards her before stopping. She looked back to see her mother frowning, an expression they were both sharing. Ruby looked at her daughter with her emotions clear as day. It was weird to be eye level with her. Without heels, Ruby would be looking up. Carmine had gotten so big the last few years. It was hard not see her as still little.

“I...I know we don’t agree on certain things, and I also know you feel like I helicopter over you. I don’t do it because I don’t trust you or anything like that. Fact of the matter is...I’m your mother. If I can find a way to solve a problem without you doing something drastic, even if you’re willing to do it, then I’m gonna step in. Just because you’re willing to make the tough calls, doesn’t mean I won’t try to keep them away from you. They weigh people down and I don’t want that for you. You’re my daughter, I love you...”

Ruby always hated their fights. It’s why they don’t do missions together. No matter how strong Carmine is, she’ll always be Jaune and Ruby’s little girl. Truthfully, she didn’t hate it at all. Carmine hated arguing too, if not more.

“I get it mom, I do. Perhaps...I was a tad hasty tonight. Thanks for...showing up.” Carmine scratched her head in embarrassment. Since when did talking to her own mom get so rough. “I love you too.” There, she said it.

Ruby gave her daughter a gentle smile and opened her arms, hoping for a hug. She knew she might be getting a bit too mushy right now but unexpectedly, Carmine walked over and embraced it without question. Ruby wasn’t about to complain. Any affection was welcomed at all times when it came from Carmine. Ruby finally let her go and got one more look at her daughter. Time sure does fly.

“My beautiful girl. I saw the trash lid truck by the way, that was pretty badass.”

Carmine playfully rolled her eyes and opened the evelope. Ruby watched the girl read over the paper several times before handing it back. “Got it.”

Ruby’s eyebrows perked up in surprise. A shocked smile came soon after. “You’re-”

“Of course.” Carmine cut her off. She put her hands together and made a glowing red rose form between them. She placed the thing right behind her mother’s ear and smiled. “See you at home?”

“Yeah, I should be back before morning.”

“Good, I’ll have breakfast waiting for you then.” Ruby watch her daughter start to walk off before Carmine slowly blew away into red and yellowish rose petals.

“My oh my, that daughter of mine.” Ruby chuckled. “I can’t wait.”

xxxx

“Done.” Carmine said, rewriting the information down as she layed on the couch. On top of her was her adorable baby brother, fast asleep like he should be. She reached for a candle that lit the room and blew it out. All in all, not a bad night in the slightest. One step closer to their goal. One step closer to the end.

Part 4

Wanna start Rosebud < Part one is a click away.

#rwby #jaune arc #the void #rwby lancaster #ruby rose #carmine arc rose #rwby whiteknight #rwby knightshade #rwby au #rwby dragonslayer #rwby rosebud

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96percentdone · 5 years

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Hey!! Saw you were doing requests and I wanted to request a saiouma // oumasai fic?with the ' is that my shirt ' prompt?? I love your fics!! -(☆^ー^☆)

As soon as Shuuichi is insidehis apartment, he crashes on the couch. He doesn’t set the door chain afterclosing it, he doesn’t turn the lights on, he doesn’t even take his hat,jacket, or shoes off. He just falls face first onto worn brown leather. Todaywas extremely long; he doesn’t want to move for the rest of hislife after all that running back and forth required for the currentinvestigation. Who knew affairs could get this messy? No more of that today.He’s just going to rest, even if the way his nose is pressed up against theupholstery is increasingly uncomfortable.

Buzz. His phone, pressed somewhere between his side and the back of the couch vibrates from his jacket pocket. Ugh what now? It better not be his uncle telling him to come back to the office or he’ll cry. A sigh, and he rolls over to his side, fumbling in the dark to take his phone out of his pocket.

Quickly he hits the power button, greeted with a message request. That’s weird...He hasn’t really used this website despite making a profile on Akamatsu-san’s request. At most he just scrolls through whatever updates his friends make without making much of his own. He hasn’t even bothered setting his profile picture, so it’s still a default. Who could it be? Click.

clownprince69: heyyy sexy ;)

Great, the bots have found me. It’s a weird username for a bot though, although he’s heard the rumor of bots taking over dead accounts. Is this a sign his own account is about to die? Eh, probably not. He’s pretty sure you have to delete for that to happen. Does he talk? Don’t I have anything better to do? Apparently not, because he’s responding anyway.

acedetective0: surprised you can tell. no picture after all.

Speaking of which...Shuuichi squints at the small icon near the bot’s username. Why does that picture look familiar? Something about that blue pinstripe button down...is that my shirt? Don’t I have a shirt like that?

clownprince69: i’m new to the site. how are you? :)

The bot of course, continues on oblivious, but Shuuichi has other concerns. Clicking on the image takes him to the profile. Shockingly, most of the account is set to private, which is pretty weird for a bot. He’s seen the bots his friends get, and usually they’re not given any privacy setting changes, because the goal is to generate as much traffic as possible. Very weird.

clownprince69: how are you? :)

He hasn’t even said anything, and he’s being asked the same thing again? That’s not typical bot behavior either, Shuuichi thinks. Maybe this is just a person, pretending to be a bot. That or this is a really badly designed bot.

acedetective0: you’re pretty impatient for someone new.

And also too good at messing with privacy settings for the same reasons, but he keeps that to himself.

clownprince69: hahaha, that’s hilarious. anyway so I wanna show you something cool, you in?

Not really. Honestly, he’s still distracted by that picture. It’s too weird. Overly familiar. The shirt, the blue tie, the hint of black suit pants....isn’t this an outfit he owns? Didn’t he wear that when Akamatsu-san had him pose as her date at that one piano recital she had a few months back? This isn’t just a weird coincidence, right? Isn’t it? Shuuichi frowns. There’s one way to check.

He clicks the picture opening it fullscreen, before heading over to Instagram, aka the social media he uses the least. But he’s not really looking at his page; he’s looking at Akamatsu-san’s. She’s an active user, and if anyone took a picture of him that night and uploaded it, it’d be her. Scrolling...scrolling...scrolling....“Aha!” Found it.

pianofreak: i keep telling him he looks fine, but he won’t stop adjusting his tie lol @acedetective0

It’s a picture of him adjusting his tie with a small frown. He remembers complaining that she posted it, but she waved it off saying that all the likes on are proof he looks just fine, so he let it go. He didn’t think it would come back up again, it’s been months after all, so he forgot about it. And yet—

He quickly switches between Akamatsu-san’s upload, and the profile photo of the bot. Other than the obviously hasty crop job cutting out his face, it’s the exact same picture. The same tie-adjusting pose, the same crisp button up hanging over the same black suit pants from the same 3/4 angle. Guess he wasn’t quite done playing detective today after all.

But he’s not finished just yet. He still needs to settle it with the ‘bot.’

acedetective0: sure, if I can show you something first.

clownprince69: oooo let me see! I love cool things!

acedetective0: [image upload]acedetective0: not very smart of you to try this with the person whose picture you’re using, huh?

“Got you,” he says, sitting up on the couch with a small grin.

For a minute, there’s no response, just a read receipt. And then finally—

clownprince69: nishishi~ guess you are a detective after all!clownprince69: i’m glad you didn’t disappoint me

Didn’t disappoint huh? So this was a planned thing. Explains why the profile was set to that degree of private. Shuuichi suspects this is actually just someone’s regular account, but they can’t troll so well if all their details are in public. But that just raises the next question.

acedetective0: why did you do this?

clownprince69: boredom mostlyclownprince69: most people never catch on even when i take the pic straight from their profileclownprince69: can you believe it

acedetective0: not really. I think most people would recognize something they posted.

clownprince69: good call cause i lied. i never take directly from their profilesclownprince69: anyway detective-chan, since you passed the first part of my test

First part?

clownprince69: wanna play a game with me?

He’s still hasn’t changed out of his work clothes at all.The lights are off, the door’s closed—a half hour ago he was probably going to just sleep on this couch until he woke up at some unholy hour desperatelyhungry. But he’s not so tired anymore. If anything, he’s kind of interested.

acedetective0: sure. what game?

clownprince69: well, it’d kinda be like guess who. i’m going to keep stealing pictures off the internet, and you’re going to call me out on it.clownprince69: maybe they’ll get increasingly obscure?clownprince69: ooh! here’s a neat twist! you have to figure out who I am too! >:)

acedetective0: how would I do that if you only catfish me?

clownprince69: i’ll make sure to throw in at least one picture of me at one pointclownprince69: and hey, if you get to know me well enough, you’ll figure it out ;)

Shuuichi can’t help but snort at that.

acedetective0: seems like a bizarre way to make friends

clownprince69: you’re just jealous your role isn’t nearly as funclownprince69: anyway, you in?

Well? Is he? If Shuuichi’s being honest, this sounds kind of fun. Maybe it’s just because he’s always enjoyed a mystery, and here one is, freely presenting itself as a challenge. Or maybe it’s just because this was the first amusing thing that’s happened all day. Or maybe it’s because despite his quip earlier, he could use some more friends himself. Maybe it’s all three.

Grinning a little to himself, Shuuichi eagerly replies.

acedective0: I’m in.

#oumasai #saiouma #Ouma Kokichi #Saihara Shuuichi #saiou #ousai #hope.txt #my fic #ndrv3 #dangan ronpa #oh look its another radical au idea courtesy of me #AND I DIDN'T PLAY THE PROMPT STRAIGHT EITHER #SKYLAR'S BULLSHIT IS BACK IN BUSINESS BABEY #anyway I had fun writing this #it's a hilarious concept #please reblog if you enjoyed and thanks for reading!#Anonymous

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