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caterpillarinacave · 9 months

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Got any random Fairchild family headcanons, especially ones pertaining to Matthew and Henry?

Oh, I always have headcanons!

Also, sorry I took so long to answer, I am currently withering away to sawdust.

Matthew was one of those “nicely disobedient kids”. Someone will be like “okay, keep your shoes on okay? It’s important not to take them off in here alright?” and he's like “yeah yeah yeah! I got it!” then tears his pants and shirt away and takes off running.

Both Matthew and Charles were those kids who just hung off their parents 24/7. Actually, all the TID gangs kids are like that. Someone is always carrying at least one child. Henry’s lap is prime real estate. So are Will’s shoulders. What are adults if not your personal chauffeur?

Henry and Matthew actually do have very similar hair, although Matthew’s is straighter. Matthew can’t tell because, you know, he styles it, and Henry absolutely does not.

Matthew’s concern about not looking like his father in GOTSM is distressing because its so unfounded. He looks a lot like both his parents, and frankly he’s the only one who's never noticed.

Christmas is soooo fun there. Mostly because they dont do any of it at their own house, they just go to all the christmas parties they get invited to and watch shit go down. Every shadowhunter party is a madhouse. Matthew and Charles get released into the crowd of children to play, and Henry and Charlotte just kind of sit to the side and watch everything dissolve into chaos. They’ll send Matthew and Charles home with an uncle or aunt, they're staying to watch 24 year old Micheal what's his name from some corner of Britain tries to fight his 64 year old uncle over the rise of livestock taxes in liverpool. Charlotte doesnt feel morally obligated to step until chairs become involved.

Other than the entertianment of christmas chaos, holidays are fun. They come with markets and present shopping. Matthew and Charles get paired off with whatever parent, then their basically free in a christmas market (provided they stay within five feet of said parent.) Matthew goes with Henry and has the time of his life. He comes home with pockets full of peppermint candies choclaty little fingers and a whole lot of happiness. Also, did you know theres fun holiday stuff in the shadowmarket? Whats better than sitting in your dads lap while he chats with a warlock in a demon language like forty people in the world speak, then going back to the cities for a chocolate croissant. Hey, it's safer than you think, Henry's not letting Matthew go anywhere in that market lol.

Of course, there a lots of bedtime stories and songs. Matthew is big on bedtime stories, though he has a few favorites. He's quite keen on Alice's Adventures In Wonderland, and he asks for it at least once a week. That was Henry's favorite as a child, and there are several copies to pick from which may be part of why Matthew likes it so much.

When Matthew gets a little older they move onto more interesting stuff. You know, the normal books for a nine year old; like The Travels of Marco Polo. Matthew is a well educated nine year old.

There's a lot of checkers and chess. Charlotte is decent at chess, and Henry's amazing at it, though Charles Buford and Matthew are more average. Matthew does, however, enjoy the aesthetic, and can play a mean game of checkers.

Tea time is important. World might be burning down but there will be tea on the Fairchild's table.

Matthew and Charles get sent flowers on special occasions. Doesn't really matter if they want flowers, or if they are "far to old for such frivolaty, I have things to do they'll simply die-" (coughcharlesbufordcough), they get them anyway. Henry and Charlotte have had the same ancient florist from Yorkshire doing it for decades, and considering she's been ninety since Henry was about six, and shows no signs of mortality, Charles and Matthew should prepare to have flowers forever.

One good rule for the kids in that house is to a) knock, and b) if that door is locked, do NOT open it. Really a rule all the TID gang kids know. If you decide to open, or try to open, or even hang out near, a locked door (or any thin walls) may the consequences be on your own head. Look, everyone in that group loves their partner very much,

That’s why Charles Buford is so bitter btw. Didn’t know the rule, scarred for life. Pretty much like that vine.

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aestheticdriven · 1 year

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Under Matthew's facade - part 3

Matthew puts on an air of being breezy and fun and unbothered all the time, but the truth is that he has suffered from anxiety, abandonment issues and poor self-esteem/self-worth since he was a child, that have only grown with the years and became paired with depression as well, specially after the events of Cast Long Shadows. Since he fakes so well even the fandom forgets what lies underneath, I have compiled all the excerpts from the short stories and books that blatantly show on page all the mental health issues he has had since young, and some basic explanations from health and psychology websites about how they came to be, their impact and how the lack of support from his family initiated/aggravated them.

Since there are a lot, I have divided them in 3 parts:

1 - The first trauma: Child abandonment, neglect and parentification (here)

2 - Childhood issues: Cracked self-image and mental health (here)

3 - The “sin”: descent into depression and alcoholism (below)

3 - The “sin”: descent into depression and alcoholism

So, we have seen how Matthew had an unhealthy relationship dynamic with his parents, and how that has impacted his feelings about himself and others in a negative way. He has all the cracked foundations that put him at risk of falling even deeper at the slightest push, and we can all agree that what happened in Cast Long Shadows passes “slight” by a mile (this is actually what this is all about, an exploration of how things ended up like that and how Matthew has been feeling since).

First things first, people are always very quick to villainise Matthew for what happened as if he did it on purpose on a selfish whim, that he should have just known Alastair was lying or should have just asked, but we have already established on part 1 his family was hiding things from him, for absolutely no reason, and treating him badly during it without giving him the context why. Without knowing the reason for something, humans naturally extrapolate from the data they have, and Alastair’s gossip and attack was the only explanation he had for this othering feeling he was experiencing around his family, that he had always experienced (see part 1 for Matthew’s feelings of not belonging), and that had recently gotten much worse for an unknown reason, and being a secret bastard son would be a very plausible reason.

He couldn’t just bring himself to ask either, because his trauma made it very difficult for himself to recognise his own feelings and to voice them to others. He was going to voice his feelings to his friends, but the possibility of upsetting either James or Thomas with it made him stop. He was going to ask his family what was going on instead of giving the potion, but Gideon’s appearance interrupted him, and, without the full context of what was going on, Gideon’s behaviour would seem very upsetting.

Secondly, aside from the fact he was literally 14-15 at the time, Mother Hawthorne tricked him. She preyed on some of the most common human fears and gave him a poison on purpose just because Matthew said his mother was the Consul (neither Matthew or Charlotte had anything to do with the lost herondale, she was just a Consul, and that was enough). Matthew actually thought they were getting along well and bonding over shadowhunters being so brutal. He had talked to downworlders and fairies before and always had good experiences, he was being very welcome at the market, fairies can’t lie, he had no reason to believe the truth potion wasn’t exactly that: a truth potion.

Going deeper than that, we can revert back to the explanations on neglect and parentification to have more insight on why Matthew bonded with her so quickly. One of the consequences of those things is something called Disinhibited social engagement disorder, which is “an attachment condition characterized by difficulty forming emotional bonds with others and a lack of inhibition around strangers. The condition tends to occur in young children who have experienced neglect, trauma, abandonment, or abuse.”

Basically, the foundation of their relationship inside their family is so dysfunctional, they pass the unmet needs for trust and security inside the family to others. “Kids who have DSED aren’t afraid of strangers. In fact, they are so comfortable around unfamiliar people that they wouldn’t think twice about climbing into a stranger’s car or accepting an invitation to a stranger’s home. This uninhibited friendliness can become a serious safety problem if the disorder is left untreated.”

Common symptoms of disinhibited social engagement disorder include:

Excessively familiar physical and verbal behavior toward unfamiliar adults

Lack of checking in with parents or caregivers

Lack of social boundaries

Minimal inhibition around strangers

Willingness to go with strangers with little or no hesitation

Another site mentions the same symptoms of DSED that extends to teenager years:

Not shy when meeting new people

Not afraid of strangers

Overly friendly and intimate even with strangers

Enjoy going out or sharing secrets with strangers and unknown adults instead of their primary caregiver or parents

May behave rudely to or ignore their primary caregiver or parents

James remarks on his first thoughts about Matthew in Nothing But Shadows: he is the life of parties, he will talk to grown ups as if he was a grown up and stop babies from crying, everybody liked Matthew. He has no fear or shame talking to others, not even grown ups, not even people he doesn’t know. In Cast Long Shadows, all he says to Jem about being at the Market is that he met “some very agreeable fairies” that invited him and he decided to go. He was dancing with other fairies he didn’t know, he was flirting with the warlock lady he also didn’t know, he immediately opened up to Mother Hawthorne even not knowing her at all, even his overly familiar behaviour with Jem (calling him uncle Jem, kissing him on the cheek, asking him about his personal life) even without having met him before and only hearing about from him from the Herondales was overly familiar (even Matthew remarks on that, though Jem reassures him, as seen on part 2).

Even Jem remarks that this isn’t usual behaviour, though he chalks it to all the kids being overprotected, but James, Lucie, Thomas or Kit don’t go as far as this, so even amidst his sheltered friends, we can see there’s something more pathologic about the way Matthew bonds and clings to strangers so readily.

Jem prayed disaster never came, but it did come. It culminated from all the things we have seen so far into Matthew putting a drop of the truth potion in the scones’ dough and it turning out to be poison (side comment, but what a powerful poison, one drop divided in the dough of all those scones did all that jfc Mother Hawthorne is insane).

Matthew doesn’t shy away from what he did either, he knows it was wrong, but he goes overboard. He makes himself the sole villain and scum of the Earth for it. He can’t see the bigger picture of what led to that moment, and can’t even give Alastair and Mother Hawthorne their just places in it by being a bully and tricking a child, he can only see himself:

It was the breaking point for someone that already believed he was a waste of space, inferior to all others, specially his family, and unworthy of all, even his friends (see part 2). The self-loathing and guilt consumed him and enhanced all the things he had always felt, making him fall completely into depression there on the spot. He couldn’t even accept comfort from his friends, or anyone else, he had always felt he was a fool, but now he also felt he was a monster, and didn’t deserve to be near the people he loved that were so full of light. He wished his father - whom he loves so much - would kill him for this:

*******

*****

********

*******

He will be chocking on horror for years. That was his last happy day. Matthew sunk into a depression so deep he is still in the depths of it to this day: no matter how much he pretends he is having fun or being happy, at the end of the day it’s only that: pretend.

But he is still only human, and still only a child. He wants people, he wants to be loved. He needs people. He “had never wanted to be alone in his life”. So he can’t conceive doing the only thing that might actually help put this behind him and help him heal: tell others. He is sure if he does, everyone will abandon him, and he will truly be alone forever, because he “knew he could not be forgiven”, so he can’t do it.

**********

And as he couldn’t tell people, it cemented even more the fact that that was his last happy day, because now he has to hide and carry this alone forever and he probably thinks about it every time he is with his friends or his family. And that was the last thread of his sanity gone The change was noticeable immediately, as we see from Anna’s pov in Every Exquisite Thing. It only took a few days after this for him to sink so deep into depression he turned to drinking, because it was the only thing that could dull his thoughts and make him forget:

*******

We don’t get Matthew’s pov in TLH (and this all put together is probably exactly the reason why), but the consequences of this are still perfectly clear: the alcoholism that, as much as they try to ignore, Lucie still comments on many times and James, too, the deteriorating relationship with his parents that culminates in him leaving home to live alone, him only choosing relationships with people bad for him and that can’t really love him (Kellington, for example), being distant but still wanting to care for his friends, etc.

So this is just something to think about in relation to Matthew and what made him the way he is and what impacts his character arc and his decisions. There’s a lot to unpack, but I just think it’s necessary to really see the complex and necessary character he is. There’s honestly a lot more I could put in these but they already got way too long, so that’s all for this Matthew analysis.

#Do you think all this happens on its own? (headcanon)#I am oh so very charming (Matthew)#canon #matthew fairchild #tlh #the last hours

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silvinlewis · 4 years

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Matthew’s depression: explained

I don’t know why I wanted to do this, maybe because many don’t understand that Matthew’s real problem is not his alcoholism, it’s his depression and this is what takes him to different ways of self destruction. It could have put him into any addiction: drugs, cigarret, etc.

I have also read some comments of people saying that Matthew shouldn’t even feel that way, because “he has it all”. They say the same thing that James says in nothing but shadows “You could have noticed that life is less than ideal for me in this moment. So, stop making everything a tragic show of yourself for nothing” minimizing Matthews problems because he just “has it all”.

So, here is where this begins. I will explain as the psychologist I am, the reasons of Matthew’s depression. Besides, I remind you that the mental diseases have no distention in genre, social class or race. And we don’t know what happens in closed doors of a home that even though seems to be okay, is not okay at all.

Matthew was born in a “gold cradle”. Charlotte had been consul for eight years already when she gave birth to Matthew. The consul, being some king of president or minister, has a salary higher than the one given to the rest of shadowhunters. Even Cordelia says it, that she always sees Matthew with fine and expensive clothing. Maybe it doesn’t seem so important to mention but believe me, it is. As I said before, it is a popular belief that a boy born in a gold cradle would not have anything to complain about, but many times that gold cradle comes with defects: The pressure of the parents of being perfect of even the abandonment because of being so involved in their jobs all the time.

Here we will take this into account.

We know that Henry is a man that is all the time concentrated in his work. We know that his nature es being clueless and we can’t judge him. We can’t judge Charlotte either for being involved in her work as consul, because by being the first women in that position it is possible that she has to work the double.

So, we have our first problem: absent parents

Matthew had to grow up quick. In Cast Long Shadows, we see a little Matthew, only six years old, crying in his mother’s skirts. She asks her little son to go take care of his father. Matthew, being as protective as he is, takes his role seriously.

In Nothing but Shadows, Matthew explains that he always had been looking after his father, and Christopher. He had to grow up quick because he had to be from one way to another looking after his father and being alert that his father could eat well or didn’t caught fire. He went few times to meet with the other kids because he was home taking care of his handicapped father. If it weren’t because the Lightwood lived in Idris, he wouldn’t have met them.

Matthew didn’t live a normal childhood.

Matthew has a very bad perspective of himself. In Cast long Shadows, there were two phrases of Matthew that left me sad. “A pretty face, but not smart like the rest of his family” “You are a waste of space in a vessel, but at least your vessel is fantastic”.

In first place, you can imagine Matthew has an enormous ego, because he apparently does, but we find out, entering in this mind, that is actually the contrary of that.

Let’s see, his mother is the first female consul; his older brother longs to take her place and is very useful for his mother, to the point in which she gives him the position of subdirector in an institute and intern consul in London in her absense. He (Matthew) has a father that is a genius, that invented portals and the radar, and has as a pupil on of Matthew’s best friends.

Matthew is happy but wouldn’t doubt in feeling frustrated for not having anything special like the rest of his family. He doesn’t feel enough to fill in the places that his brother and parents fill. He thinks he is just a kid that likes art, but is not able to do art. (Nothing but shadows).

And then, when everything that happened with Charlotte happens, he thinks that all the doubts about himself are completely true. He is nothing.

We arrive to the most important part: the sin.

Before getting to that, let’s talk about the rumour:

Alastair didn’t create the rumour, it’s true, and like every kid, he repeated it with the intention of hurting Matthew. Yes, Alastair is not guilty of what Matthew did but you have to admit that he was an idiot that did not understand how powerful his words can be.

Many say: Why didn’t Matthew talk with his parents about it or simply didn’t believe Alastair? But, let’s get in context.

1900, a time where the simple fact of a women being alone with a man, could ruin her completely. Do you really think that if Matthew was actually Gideon’s son, his parents would have told him? Matthew himself knows that they would have lied, that is why he buys that potion.

Besides, imagine a boy grow up believing he is a bastard.

Matthew had a lot to doubt: Just like Alastair says, his physical appearance was very different to his parents and very similar to Gideon. Besides, he says it in CLS, that his parents were behaving in a very strange way (Charlotte was distracted, Henry was alert, and Charles was questioning him). And last of all: Gideon was appearing in the mornings to accompany Charlotte.

Cassie said that Charlotte’s pregnancy had been difficult, I guess it was because of her age so they hadn’t told Matthew yet, for him not to be worried (Charlotte had a husband, and older son, and an advisor worried about her already). No one imagined something like this would happen.

At last: Depression many times requires a detonating

The feeling of not being enough, of being a mistake, and over all, of having killed somebody you were going to love, was without a doubt Matthew’s detonating. This was the thing that put him in the bottom, and told him that he was a mistake, that did not serve, that he was a fail.

We know that he was tricked by the fairy (The Land I lost), but he doesn’t know it. In his mind he thinks he was an idiot for not listening to Jem. The thinks that thanks to his insecurities about not being his father’s son, poisoned his mother and killed his sister.

He won’t let Lucie touch him, he himself says he is not enough. He won’t tell anything to James because he is afraid he will judge and abandon him.

He gets into self-destruction by drinking, because it is the only thing that calms him. In some moment he must have had suicide thoughts.

And he holds on on what we could’ve called “lights”. I Have discovered that Matthew has been very attached to James. It is as if he wants to keep him close but also is afraid of hurting him.

Matthew’s depression is totally valid. We see that it is taking form slowly. They are little things that just explote in a moment and put us into an abiss where it is difficult to come out.

Translation by: @manuaristythgtmi

Art by: Cassandra Jean

@cassandraclare

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melanielocke · 3 years

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Because I was following him

I rewrote the CoI scene where Alastair comes to Thomas’ rescue from Alastair’s POV a while back.

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31310876

Alastair cursed underneath his breath when he witnessed what happened at the Golden Square. Of course Thomas had to let himself get caught by Inquisitor Bridgestock. Now everyone thought he was the killer, and Alastair was the only one who could testify on his behalf.

He quietly followed the Inquisitor and his patrol, who were dragging Thomas along with him. None of them had any idea he was there and Alastair intended for it to stay that way. Bridgestock did not like him much and might even use his presence as an excuse to accuse Alastair of the murders. Better to wait until the Consul was there, and then testify.

He had never intended for anyone to know about him following Thomas. He knew it wouldn’t change anything, he knew Thomas would not forgive him. Nor did he deserve that. But he would still do the best he could to keep Thomas safe, to make sure his recklessness wouldn’t get him killed. He could live with Thomas hating him, but he could not live with the idea of him dying. How any of those fools were still alive, Alastair had no idea.

He followed Bridgestock’s party into the Institute. None of them noticed he was there as they dragged Thomas to the sanctuary to lock him up there while Alastair stayed behind, and that gave him the time to think. He couldn’t go in like this, his hair was a mess and he looked very distraught. He would need to compose himself, to put on the mask from the academy, otherwise everyone would be able to tell that he loved Thomas.

He needed a good reason why he’d been following Thomas too, no one would believe him being there was just a coincidence and he couldn’t tell anyone the real reason he’d followed Thomas. As far as anyone else knew, he disliked Thomas as much as the Merry Thieves disliked him. Of course, Cordelia did like those boys. And he figured that was a good enough excuse. Cordelia was fond of Thomas, he was one of her husband’s closest friends after all. He’d made sure to keep Thomas safe because he didn’t want his sister to lose a friend.

Alastair slipped into a nearby bathroom, trying to fix his hair and his clothes, but no matter what he did his hair wouldn’t lie flat. Some of the black dye had faded and left a few patches of blonde is his predominantly black hair. He sighed. He guessed it didn’t matter, he looked like he had been on the streets all night, sleep deprived and messy. Some day soon he’d fix his hair but right now he had other priorities.

He took in a deep breath and made his way to the Sanctuary. Thomas’ friends had made it there already, and his older sister Eugenia was standing outside the door. She eyed him suspiciously.

‘What are you doing here, Carstairs?’

‘I’m here to get your brother out of prison,’ Alastair said.

‘How?’ Eugenia let go of her hostility.

‘I saw what happened. I’ve been following him ever since he started going out on these patrols alone. He didn’t kill Lillian Highsmith.’

‘You realize Bridgestock might try to pin suspicion on you instead, or claim that you’re lying on his behalf. He’s in quite a state and refuses to admit he’s wrong about having found the killer.’

Alastair shrugged. ‘That’s a risk I’m willing to take.’

‘Why were you there anyway? Thomas was caught very early in the morning, why would you be out at such an hour?’

Alastair sighed, letting go of the mask. ‘Because I was following him.’

‘You were… why would you do that?’

Alastair hesitated. He couldn’t exactly explain why he had been following Thomas to his sister. Nor to the Consul and Inquisitor. Good time to try his excuse. If Eugenia didn’t believe it, he’d know he’d have to think of something better.

‘Cordelia is fond of him and his friends, someone had to keep him safe. I figured it was the least I could do.’

Eugenia didn’t seem suspicious, at least. ‘Thank you. Alright, go in.’

Alastair put on the mask again and walked in. Chin up, posture straight, making sure he looked every bit the arrogant bastard he used to be. He hated that person, hated that mask, but it was a necessary evil. Everything so they wouldn’t realize he loved Thomas.

‘Dear God,’ said Matthew Fairchild with obvious loathing. ‘Could this day get any worse? What the hell are you doing here, Carstairs?’

Alastair glared at him. Even now Matthew Fairchild always managed to get under his skin.

‘Alastair,’ said the consul, ‘I’m afraid I must ask you to go, these are private.’ She frowned at Thomas’ father, who looked angry. At him, or because his son was wrongfully imprisoned? Alastair hoped it was the latter. ‘Has the front door become unlocked?’

Alastair glanced at Thomas for only a moment, he was absolutely terrified and Alastair suspected that was because of him. It stung, but Alastair kept his chin up. They wouldn’t see.

‘No, the door was not unlocked,’ he said, ‘at least not when I came in. Which was some time ago. You see, I followed Thomas here and came in with the Inquisitor and his patrol. I witnessed miss Highsmith’s death, the entire incident.’

Matthew Fairchild sprang to his feet. ‘Alastair, if you’re lying, I swear on the angel-‘ His mother didn’t let him finish that sentence.

‘Stop!’ the consul yelled, her hand up. ‘Alastair, say what you mean. Now.’

‘As I said, I was in the Golden Square when Thomas was passing through. I also heard Lillian Highsmith scream. I saw Thomas run to help her. She was already dying when he got there. He never harmed her. I’ll swear to it.’

Matthew sat back down. Alastair dared once more to look at Thomas, he seemed confused but at least he was no longer scared. Thomas’ father seemed rather pleased, which only made Alastair feel ashamed. Gideon Lightwood likely had no clue of the past between him and his son, and ought to hate him as much as the Merry Thieves did.

‘Er – what?’ Christopher asked.

The Inquisitor sneered at him. ‘So it’s a coincidence on top of coincidence, then. Tell me, Carstairs, what possible reason could you have had to be in Golden Square at the same time as Thomas Lightwood.’

Alastair looked disdainful at the Inquisitor, making no effort to conceal his hatred for the man. ‘Because I was following him. I’ve been following Thomas for days. I knew he was going out on these insane night patrols by himself, and I wanted to make sure that he was safe. Cordelia is fond of him.’

Thomas looked as him as if he was watching water as it burnt. ‘You’re the one who’s been following me?’

‘You knew someone was following you?’ Matthew shouted. ‘And you didn’t say anything? Thomas!’

As much as Alastair hated to admit it, Fairchild had a point. But Thomas was bloody stubborn, and of course he’d continued his patrols even knowing someone was following him. It might just as well have been the killer. How any of these Thieves were still alive today, Alastair had no idea.

‘Everyone be quiet,’ Charlotte said, calm but determined.

She reminded him of Charles right now, a thought that made him nauseous as he always was when he thought of his former lover. Determined not to show any emotion, Alastair studied his nails.

‘This is preposterous, Charlotte. Carstairs is lying to cover up for his friend,’ Bridgestock said.

‘They’re not friends,’ said James. ‘One of us might lie for Thomas. Not Alastair.’

That wasn’t quite true, Alastair would certainly lie for Thomas if it would save his life. Fortunately, he didn’t have to.

‘Then he’s probably mad with grief over his father’s death. Either way he’s not credible,’ Bridgestock snarled, looking at him with a rage that made Alastair suspect this was personal to him somehow.

‘And yet we are going to hear him out, and Thomas as well, because that is the task that is appointed to us,’ Charlotte Fairchild said, her tone cold as ice. Again she sounded just like her oldest son. ‘Thomas and Alastair both will be held here in the Sanctuary until they can be tried by the Mortal Sword.’

Alastair suspected something like this might happen, but did not look forward to the prospect of being locked up with Thomas Lightwood. He wasn’t sure he could take Thomas’ anger, even if it was completely justified. He would have to wear the mask until the consul came back.

‘You cannot make that decision without me,’ Bridgestock said. ‘I would try them right now, if not for the fact that the Mortal Sword is currently in Paris.’ Alastair couldn’t place the loathing in the Inquisitor’s voice when he said Paris.

‘Fortunately, Will and Tessa will be here tomorrow morning with the sword,’ said Charlotte. ‘Now, Maurice, I fear your eagerness to make your arrest known has only stoked panic. You had best come with me to the courtyard, to communicate that the Enclave has the matter well in hand. The identity of the accused will not be released until the Mortal Sword is employed tomorrow.’

Bridgestock gave one last furious look at the consul and then stalked out of the room. Alastair wondered, if someone did manage to break in here and take matters into his own hand, would they come for him first? Certainly, he looked a lot more murderous than Thomas.

Cordelia slipped through the entrance before the Inquisitor closed the door. Had she been here all this time? Alastair hadn’t seen her.

‘I heard,’ she said, pressing her forehead against his shoulder. ‘I was outside with Eugenia. I heard everything.’

‘Ghoseh nakhor, hamechi dorost mishe,’ Alastair said, stroking Cordelia’s back. Everything will be alright.

He lowered his voice. ‘Listen to me, Layla. I haven’t wanted to fret you, but Maman has been told by the Silent Brothers to keep to her bed, for the sake of her health and the baby’s. I do not think we should worry her more. Tell her I’m spending the night at the Institute to keep Christopher company.’

Cordelia blinked, Alastair could tell she was trying to hold back tears. ‘Yes, I’ll send a runner with a message, but will she believe that? You hardly know Christopher.’

He kissed his sister’s forehead, closing his eyes, letting go of the mask for a moment. ‘She’ll just be glad to think I have a friend, I suspect.’

His mother was always so concerned about his lack of friends, and Christopher was at least believable, he liked anyone who was willing to listen to his ramblings about science. Thomas had told him as much when they’d made the antidote together all those months ago.

‘Alastair,’ Layla said.

The consul didn’t let her finish. ‘This room has become entirely too crowded. All of you, save Alastair and Thomas, clear out. You too, Gideon. We must be seen to be cooperating, you do understand that.’

‘Indeed,’ Gideon Lightwood said, but Alastair wasn’t so sure he understood.

He smiled at Thomas, and it hurt to see the way they exchanged looks. What was it like, to have a father like that? Someone who cared enough to defend his son when he was accused of murder, who was offended at the idea of Thomas being locked in here.

“But it’s ridiculous just leaving them here, they need blankets, food, they’re not being tortured, Charlotte.’

‘Indeed not. They’ll have everything they need. Now Gideon, Christopher, Matthew, James, and you too, Cordelia, you must go.’

Reluctantly, all of them left, stopping next to Thomas for some encouraging words. Cordelia released him reluctantly and left with the boys. She turned around one last time. ‘If they don’t have the Mortal Sword here by tomorrow morning, I’ll break you out with Cortana.’

Alastair guessed that was something to look forward to.

‘I heard that!’ the consul scolded, but Alastair could see a faint smile on her face that was very much unlike Charles.

Everyone left, with ultimately the consul locking the door behind them, leaving him behind with Thomas. Good thing he’d brought a book, as he’d need to avoid Thomas’ anger for some time.

#Alastair Carstairs #Thomas Lightwood #Eugenia Lightwood #Charlotte Fairchild #Gideon Lightwood #Matthew Fairchild #James Herondale #Cordelia Carstairs #The Last Hours #tlh #Chain of Gold #Chain of Iron

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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 4 years

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Psycho Analysis: The League of Evil Exes

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World is one of the greatest cult classics of the 2010s for a wide variety of reasons: it had great performances, it got a video game adaptation that didn’t suck, it had an awesome soundtrack, and best of all, it apparently ruined an entire generation of women! What couldn’t this movie do (besides make a profit at the box office)? Of course, more than anything, this movie delivered on the promise of its premise by having Scott Pilgrim fight against the seven evil exes of his manic pixie dream girl Ramona Flowers.

That’s right: There’s not one, not two, not three, but seven villains to talk about in this movie!

Thankfully, this massive amount of villains makes it a lot easier to talk about them, because each of them basically gets only a single scene with which to establish their characterization and deliver a fun, exciting battle. Still, it’s pretty interesting to look at them, especially since not all exes are created equal. As a note, I’m obviously not doing a “Best Scene” for these guys because... they basically have one scene each. It would be redundant.

Motivation/Goals: The League of Evil Exes has a very simple goal: to control the future of Ramona’s love life. As Lucas says during his battle with Scott: “The Seven Evil Exes? Coming to kill you? Controlling the future of Ramona's love life?” This is especially funny because Lucas is probably the least evil of the lot. While this is an incredibly simple motivation, it fits with the tone of the movie; this is a sort of a Bowser-esque motivation, one that perfectly fits a movie that is so steeped in video game culture.

Performance: Lets go one by one here:

Satya Bhabha is the first of the evil exes, Matthew Patel, and he really eases you into what to expect for the rest of the evil exes, though here “eases you into” means “grabs you by the balls and swings you over the head like a chimpanzee.” Despite his meager screentime, he makes the most of it, delivering a Bollywood-esque musical number complete with fireballs and demon hipster chicks and generally just hamming it up. This right here is just a warmup, though, because things get crazier from here – just like in a video game, really.

Lucas Lee, the second evil ex, is a big-shot movie star regarded as a pretty good actor by all who see him. Unfortunately, they got some unknown weirdo named Chris Evans to play him, but casting this obscure indie actor certainly paid off, because Lucas Lee’s smug, over-confident portrayal combined with his affable nature make him one of the most enjoyable characters in the movie. He really comes off as a cool, cocky guy who just happens to be going up against our hero as opposed to being an actual antagonizing force.

Todd Ingram is the other best evil ex, and much like Lee it’s mostly because he’s a pretty nice guy. However, the key difference is while Lee was cocky and affable, Ingram is just kind of a ditz. Played by one-time Superman Brandon Routh, he opts to go for the more subuded route, a cold ham as opposed to a large ham, and he definitely makes it work; I did call him the OTHER best evil ex, after all.

Then we come to Roxy Richter, played by Katara herself, Mae Whitman. She’s a very angry, tomboyish lesbian who gets in a lot of great lines and shows off a very jaded, irritated personality in her limited screentime. She’s definitely a lot of fun, though apparently she has a lot of elements of Envy Adams due to being combined with an early idea to make her Ramona’s evil ex in the movie.

The Katayanagi Twins. Ken and Kyle, are… nothing. Because Keita and Shota Saitou (Kyle and Ken, respectively) did not speak English, the twins have no lines and don’t really get to establish much of a presence before dying. It’s a bit unfortunate, because it becomes really easy to forget these two are here as a result.

Gideon Gordon Graves is a smarmy, smug, condescending jackass. You have met a man like him before, and you have wanted to punch his face in. Jason Schwartzman really amps up the sleaze when playing this creepy, controlling bastard, making him a fitting final boss.

Final Fate: Each and every one of them is defeated by the end of their scenes, bursting into progressively larger amounts of coins, with Patel being pretty meager in terms of value and Gideon literally making it rain when he’s defeated. It does kind of feel weird that the twins are worth more than a beloved actor like Lucas Lee, or that Roxy is worth more than both Lee and a musician like Ingram, but frankly this isn’t really a movie where you should be overthinking stuff to begin with.

Best Quote: I don’t think I can really say Patel or Gideon have amazing, quotable lines to the extent as some of the others, but I’d be pretty remiss to not mention Todd’s legendary “...Chicken isn’t vegan…?” and Roxy’s equally legendary “Well honey… I’m a little bi-FURIOUS!” here. Lucas Lee has a lot of good lines but he’s quite frankly too consistent for me to pick one; Chris Evans really just went all-out for this one.

Final Thoughts & Score: Once again, let’s go one by one:

Matthew Patel

Matthew is the definition of a warmup boss, at least by the standards of this film. He brings a lot of insanity to the table all at once, what with his demons and Bollywood musical number and sick dance moves, but the fact he’s probably not the most insane and baffling character in the film really tells you something. He definitely makes the most of his screentime, and while his fight is relatively short, it’s a lot of fun. This man deserves an S-L-ICK 8/10.

Lucas Lee

Lucas Lee is probably the second best evil ex in the movie. He’s just so cocky, arrogant, and hilarious, and he still manages to come off as a bit polite. Its like if Captain America and Ransom Drysdale had a baby, Lucas Lee would be it. The fact he’s played by a pre-superstardom Chris Evans really is the icing on the cake here though, because his battle is fun and ends with Scott defeating him by playing into his arrogance. Ah! But he didn’t get his autograph… Oh well. Lucas Lee is an easy 10/10.

Todd Ingram

As much as I love Lee, I have to say that Todd easily has the most impressive fight in the entire film, in large part due to his awesome psychic powers he gains from being a vegan. I gave one of his legendary quotes up there, but frankly, the entire battle is awesome and quotable, the fact that at least half the battle is a rock-off is great, and the fact Scott tricks him in the most stupidly amazing to defeat him and put him at the mercy of the Vegan Police is just amazing. There’s also just the sheer novelty of how, with the power in hindsight, we got to see Superman (Routh) dating Captain Marvel (Brie Larson portrayed Envy, Scott’s ex and Todd’s girlfriend and bandmate). Todd is just a perfect, lovable idiot villain, and deserves nothing less than a 10/10.

Roxy Richter

Roxy actually gets to show up twice in the film, getting a brief scene with Scott a while before her identity is revealed. While her screentime doesn’t really amount to much, it really is incredible how much characterization they managed to pack into her limited screentime, her dialogue really selling how she is easily the most bitter and angry off all the exes. She seems genuinely hurt at some points that Ramona left her and considers her just a phase, though this of course doesn’t stop her from trying to ruin her life. In a weird way, I’d almost call her the most complex of the exes, and Mae Whitman does a great job at selling her. I will say though, despite her fight scene being filled with some of the best dialogue in the film (which is saying a lot, mind you), the overall fight is a little lackluster, and Ramona getting in makes it reek of “designated girl fight.” Still, there’s nothing so egregious about her that I’d give her anything less than a 9/10.

The Katayanagi Twins

These two, quite simply, suck. They get absolutely no characterization, they get no dialogue due to the actors not speaking English, they get no personality. They are, quite simply, just there, and they are just there because Scott needs to fight a fifth and sixth ex. There’s really not much to say here except that their fight scene is admittedly pretty cool and it’s fun to imagine how the hell their relationship with Ramona worked. Did they date her one after the other? Were they in a weird poly relationship? Did they both just spitroast her on the weekends? For those two things I’ll save them from the very bottom of the barrel and give them a 2/10.

Gideon Gordon Graves

Gideon is a smug, evil, controlling creep for sure, and he is the final evil ex Scott must face. But the thing is, he kind of doesn’t feel any more wieighty than any of the others? Gideon is for all intents and purposes the final boss, and while he does get a little buildup, it all comes in the final acts of the film. It certainly doesn’t make him a bad villain – he actually manages to temporarily kill Scott, and puts up more of a fight than any of the others – but considering how awesome Todd, Lucas, Roxy, and Matthew were in style and personality, Gideon kind of comes off as underwhelming. Yes, he is definitely the most evil of the exes, but he just doesn’t really have the “WOW” factor the others do. He’s an 8/10 for sure.

Well, I guess that’s it, that’s every villain in the mo-

Wait?

What’s this?!

Psycho Analysis: Nega Scott

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#Psycho Analysis #Scott Pilgrim #Scott Pilgrim vs. the World #The League of Evil Exes #Matthew Patel #Lucas Lee #Todd Ingram #Roxy Richter #Katayanagi Twins #Gideon Gordon Graves #Chris Evans #Mae Whitman #Brandon Routh #jason schwartzman

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bookobsessions · 4 years

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Matthew and Alastair one-shot

Alastair peered through the crowded room for an emerald-green waistcoat and a head full of golden locks. Dammit, Fairchild, he thought.

He was beginning to regret letting Cordelia persuade him to come along. He should not have trusted a place named Hell Ruelle, a place where Shadowhunters were not welcomed. Well, with the exception of Anna Lightwood, the famous seductress of London who was currently getting close with Hypatia Vex in her bed-chamber.

Alastair was only here on behalf of Cordelia, not the Herondale boy. They were to find out if there had been any word of the Prince of Hell, Belial since Cordelia had slain him. Alastair knew that Cordelia was here for James, to make sure he was not to be in harm’s way, but he could not understand why. He knew James Herondale could never truly love his sister, for his heart belonged to Grace Blackthorn. It would sometimes anger him, that one could treat a woman with such disrespect. Toy with her emotions, make a marriage proposal, but never love her. Alastair knew that feeling all too well.

Cordelia had insisted that Alastair attend the mission since James could not, or suspicion would be raised. She loved James, and if that meant Alastair had to help protect him, he would do it.

Alastair slid discreetly through the crowd and behind the large pillar where Matthew was.

“Could you do me the favor of waiting before running off to get bloodily murdered?”

“I can handle myself, Carstairs,” hissed Matthew. Alastair backed away from him, careful that he would not burst and they would be found.

Alastair could understand Matthew being angry, for he had done and said unspeakable things in their school days. He did have remorse, and often wished he could go back and change things or make things different, but he could never will himself to confront Matthew and the others about it. He did not have the courage. He had done things to put his pain in other people. He had learned to bully or be bullied and had experienced both. But even thoughts like that could not comfort him, or give him reassurance that his actions were not his fault. He knew they always were, and always will be.

He had tormented James for his lineage and said awful things about Matthew’s mother and Thomas’s father. Alastair longed for a relationship with Cordelia’s soon to be husband and his parabatai-- preferably one where they didn’t want to kill him half the time. As for Christopher Lightwood, he was innocent as ever… and his sister was more terrifying than a Shax demon with three heads and jaws full of razor-sharp teeth dripping with acidic poisons. Anna Lightwood could take on anyone, any day, and anyone to challenge her was a fool. But recently a different Lightwood had been on Alastair’s mind. Thomas Lightwood was the one person he sought forgiveness from the most. Alastair had always wished for approval from him. He did not know why, and he hated it. Butterflies like the ones in the Cirenworth garden fluttered in his stomach. He had never looked at a person the way he looked at Thomas and had never felt feelings like that before. He didn’t know what emotions he was experiencing, but it was like there was a rope trying to pull him towards Thomas whenever he saw or thought of him. But Alastair knew he had to cut the rope. He could not imagine Thomas giving him forgiveness. Not in a decade, not in a century. He knew deep down that his desires were unrealistic, that there would be no reason for Thomas to welcome him into his life. Alastair knew that had the tables been turned at the academy, he could never forgive someone who had done such things.

“Are you coming along now?”, asked Matthew. “Hypatia has exited her bed-chamber, but she will return soon. We must get to Anna while we can.” Alastair nodded and trailed on behind him into the room.

The floors were white marble and the windows were draped with golden velvet curtains. There were two doors in the room, one leading to a balcony. Sheets of the finest silk and voluminous blankets rested upon the four-poster bed. From the dome ceiling hung a jeweled chandelier radiating warm yellow light and lit candles along with burning incense added touches of decor to the bed stands. Even Alastair had to admit, the sleeping quarters of Hypatia Vex were quite lavish.

In the corner of the room, there was a large vase of white orchids, and next to it was a settee in which Anna Lightwood was lounging on. Her hair was in disarray and her Herondale eyes shined bright. The black waistcoat that she was originally wearing was thrown over the edge of the settee and her bow tie was untied and on the floor.

“Did you get much information? Or were you just having a good time?” asked Alastair.

“I had an exquisite time, in case you were wondering… would you like details?” teased Anna. Alastair used every bit of strength in him to bottle up his irritation. I am here for Cordelia, he reminded himself.

Matthew’s eyes wandered around the room, momentarily landing on the beverage cart, and then back to Anna. “I would not mind having a good time. In fact, I could use a good time.”

“Matthew, darling,” Anna drawled, “Soon enough, you will learn my ways around London. Only the best shall teach you.”

Alastair stood uncomfortably, eyes averting Anna’s curious gaze, as if she knew something. Alastair knew very well that Anna Lightwood did not have a particular interest in men, that she much preferred to spend nights with women. She did not try to hide it either. She blatantly spoke and danced with women, and did much more in private. She was open and fearless. She did not care what people said about her. She let them think what they wished. Alastair had long yearned to be like her. What he would give to kiss and dance with the people he wanted to without the constant fear of judgment from the Clave. He did not want to hide his love.

“Any news of Belial?” questioned Alastair.

Suddenly, Anna’s eyes went wide. “Footsteps-- Hypatia is coming!” Anna ushered them to the balcony door, opened it, and threw them out of the room. “Stay out here until I come. Once I leave I will loop around the garden to where you are. I brought rope in the carriage just for extra precaution. Until then, stay out of sight and in the shadows,” commanded Anna.

With that, Alastair and Matthew were on the balcony. “We should keep to the sides; stay where people won’t see us,” said Alastair.

“And why is that so?” prompted Matthew. “Afraid people will see you swooning over me? Would you like to spare the embarrassment of being seen with such an atrocious man?”

Alastair stayed silent, petrified that he knew his secret.

“Or perhaps being spotted with a man at all, is the problem. Honorable Alastair must not be seen committing such a scandal,” he mocked. Matthew’s gaze penetrated Alastair like spears as he poked a finger on his chest. “I must be civil for Cordelia,” he spoke her name like she was a treasure that must not be touched. “She, Carstairs, is the only reason I have not pushed you off this balcony yet.”

“My life is not all joyful, you do know.”

“Oh really? Was your Sunday morning tea cold? Did your shirt have a wrinkle?”

“Why do you despise me so?” asked Alastair. He was terrified for the response, for what Matthew might say or do. “I know I have done and said things, and I understand that you are angry with me, but the past is the past.”

Alastair expected him to be furious, to explode, but instead, he took in a long shuddering breath and asked, “Do you read Oscar Wilde?”

Alastair nodded.

“Then you would know that one’s past is what one is. It is the only way by which people should be judged,” he said, staring out at the dark night. Alastair had never seen Matthew like this; so solemn, so serious.

“If you read him, then you should also know the one charm of the past is that it is the past.”

“That, Alastair Carstairs, is something you will never understand. The past never goes away. It is always there, and it always will be, like a ghost that continues to haunt you. I would know best.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“I killed her,” said Matthew, angry tears welling in his emerald-green eyes. He could not believe what he was saying, and who he was saying it to. “I like to try to say it was because of you, because of the things that you said, but it was my hands.”

“Fairchild... by the angel, what are you talking about?”

“You called my mother a whore. You said I was Gideon Lightwood’s bastard child. You told me I was not my father’s son.” He took a deep breath and looked up into the sky as if he could disappear, or Raziel himself would come and pluck him up. “I thought about it, for a while. I went to the Shadow Market. I bought a truth serum from a faerie, and snuck into the kitchen to put it in my mother’s scones. She ate the scones one morning and fell ill. Very ill.”

“But Matthew--” began Alastair, “Your mother is alive.”

“Not her. The child. I killed my own sister, and it was because of you. Because of those words you spat from that despicable mouth of yours. ”

#chain of gold #cassandra clare #cassie clare #the last hours #alastair carstairs #matthew fairchild #cordelia carstairs #alastair x charles #thomas lightwood #james herondale #anna lightwood #chain of iron #hell ruelle #the shadowhuter chronicles

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gontagokuhara · 4 years

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what are ur current thoughts on the cm main cast? i know you only give hot takes so i’m curious

ok so i have not actually watched all of criminal minds. ive attempted to watch it all the way through a good few times (at least 6) but somewhere around the middle i always drop off and then inevitably start AGAIN from the beginning. i've gotten as far as season seven before which is...not very far. so ive gotten to the rossi/prentiss era of the show, and i think i got to the point where prentiss left the bau. so i'll just talk abt the cast up until then!

also i'll preface this with acab blah blah copaganda bad blah blah fuck the feds. i know guys. let me have my one legally allotted cop show

gideon: i. love gideon. he's not the stereotypical hardass unfeeling leader character that rossi (at least in the beginning) fell into. he's very emotional, very empathetic, and while he can be genuinely pretty frightening when confronting the criminals in the show, the care he has for his team and his capacity for kindness and compassion for victims....a bitch has cried before! he really grew into his own over the tenure of the show, and while i was sad that he left, i think it tied well back into who his character was and a natural progression for him following his trauma from the job. also i love mandy patinkin's performance in general, i love him voice and the way he can go from soft and intense. jason gideon if ur reading this im in the market for a father

hotch: i've always liked hotch, but he REALLY grew into his own over the series. his care for his team is really something, but WOW the storyline with his ex wife and jack? and the episodes about haley's death? WOW. i absolutely cried like a baby during their last phonecall and. god. i know vaguely that his actor had some issues on set lmao but i really like what of hotch's character i've seen and. yeah.

elle: she was very much the token girl on the team which was disappointing. i really liked her, especially during the beginnings of season one, and i think the episode on the train was really, really good -- her dynamic with the team here was really interesting (especially with spencer) and it's one of my favorite episodes. i think her experience with ptsd is believable especially after her injury in the season 1 finale, but i feel like the booting her from the team for being the trigger-happy high strung woman character was. not great. good on her for killing that bastard tho, even if acab and she avoided legal ramifications when irl thats. not great.

prentiss: i LOVE her!!!! she's so fun and goofy but also good at her job and very relatable. i love her journey to prove herself to the team, and the close bonds she makes with everyone, and it really helps make the team feel like a family (aha me? liking found family dynamics? damn thats crazy). i just found out that she was written as a lesbian but CBS fucking nixed it for some reason, so truly homophobia never sleeps and forevermore prentiss will be a whole ass dyke in my heart. i love her!!!

rossi: i was never SUPER hurr durr rossi bad cuz he's not gideon, but he was written purposefully as an asshole in his beginnings, so i didn't like him that much. i felt like the episode that developed him into a "good guy" was cheesy but good, and while he's nowhere near my favorite member of the team, i do like him!

derek: I FUCKING LOVE DEREK MORGAN!!!!! i love his dynamics with the entire team, especially spencer, emily, and penelope. his writing left a lot to be desired in season one, but he DRASTICALLY improved thereafter and he's in my top 3 in the show. his particular character (lbr trauma) building episode absolutely gutted me, and i just. absolutely adore adore adore him. king of the lesbians, bisexy icon, respecter of women, derek morgan please embrace me in your arms and let me kiss u on the lips

jj: i luv jj!!! i love her dynamic as media liaison and how she interacts with the whole team, but how she's also very capable in the field! her storyline with her boyfriend/husband is very sweet, litcherally straight rights. i know she gets her character dev after where i stopped watching, so im excited to learn more abt her!!!

penelope: i love penelope so FUCKING much guys!!! she's a perfect balance between comic relief and emotional beats, and there's nothing i dislike about her. she's fucking hilarious, i love her confidence (but also how she's allowed to feel insecure) , and her dynamic with derek is the best in the show, full stop. but i also adore her dynamics with the female members of the team, and her play flirting to straight-faced hotch is unendingly funny. god. the episode(s) where she's dealing with getting shot? the way derek will do anything to protect her? and penelope in turn wants to protect him? GOD. she's also human, and kind, and caring, and fuck i love her so much.

spencer: to NO ONES surprise spencer is my favorite. i definitely have a highkey crush on matthew gray gubler and i think his performance as spencer is just. phenomenal. spencer is funny, he’s kind, he’s so fucking smart, and he’s really truly capable despite all the obstacles his life has thrown at him. the tobias hankel episode is one of my favorites of the series, and the resulting trauma that spencer goes through just. wow. and his longstanding fears of being afraid of what’s inside his own head, of what people think of him because he’s so different, of how there are in fact very few degrees of separation mentally between him and some of their past unsubs? GOD!!!!! his character is incredible, i adore him to pieces, and i love his dynamics with the rest of the team, specifically jj, hotch, penelope, and morgan (especially morgan!!!!!). um spencer reid literally kiss me on the lips challenge sir i am in love with you. also bisexy trans and autistic rights babey!!!!!

#ask #cm

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stargleeksil-blog · 7 years

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Criminal Minds s02e10 Lessons Learned review - or more aptly named, holy shit I can’t believe they put him in harm’s way, I’m going to fucking kill those bastards, oh he’s all right, good. fuck you assholes.

Episode 10 – Lessons Learned

Okey dokey, so we’re nearly halfway through season 2, and I’ve only been working on it two days (in actual reviewing time, I’m divulging some inner secrets that can only be divulged to those privileged few who deign my words worthy of reading, so shhh!!!). Pretty intense shit is going on over here.

I just called one of my friends to get rid of cockroaches. I know, it’s pussy thing to do, especially for a lady, but come on! That’s like the one bug that really gets my goat! I can deal with spiders, ants, mosquitos, even flies. But not roaches. Ugh. So gross. That and rats are my two weaknesses.

So, back to Criminal Minds, because let’s face it, Shemar and Matthew are so much better than dealing with household pests. Let’s see what this episode has in store.

Let’s see what happens.

Whoa, that’s a SWAT car. Yikes. This is gonna be intense.

A lady team leader. I love it.

Hey! It’s Professor Short-Skirt from Community! Awesome!

Well, it’s not a meth lab, but there is an escape tunnel, and that’s a fucking bomb.

Who the fuck wakes Hotch on a morning sleep-in. Damn. Poor thing.

God, I can’t believe that he has to do this to his wife. But come on, it’s his fucking job. I love Hotch so much.

Straight to business.

Wait. Emily knows Arabic? Damn.

I love you already, Prentiss. Awesome.

I love how everyone’s like, awesome! We could use her!

And then Penelope dazzles everyone with everything. Lol.

Jin d’Allah. Meaning soldier of God. Lovely.

Oh god, he’s part of the Jihad. Yikes.

Wait. Wait. Hold the presses. Reid read the Koran? Damn.

They have to do in 48 hours what the CIA haven’t been able to do in two months? Fuck.

Wait. Gideon is heading to Guantanamo Bay? Oh my god. That’s intense.

Yup, they should assess Prentiss on the field, and she’s willing enough, what’s the harm?

Dale Turner: “Some of the best lessons are learned from past mistakes. The error of the past is the wisdom of the future.” Who is this guy and can I marry his brain?

Gideon, why are you being so harsh on Prentiss? And Prentiss, he’s right, this isn’t a treat to go with them to Guantanamo. You have to prove your worth, and you have to not interrupt[t Gideon while he’s playing chess with Reid, and you need to tone down your sassiness. Capiche?

Oh Reid’s ‘oooh snap’ face is everything to me.

So Gideon is a genius.

Haha the whole chess board just went kersplat. I love it.

There’s a mandatory 90-degree turn when you approach Gitmo? Damn.

And Reid was winning! Wait what, Gideon would have had him in three moves? Damn. Prentiss is good.

Wait, it’s a bio-chemical bomb? Damn.

Hey! Hey! Why torture the guy? You want answers, that’s not how you get them.

So Gideon’s going to swoop in as the hero who is juxtaposed to his usual tormentors? That’s awesome.

Crap. A list of chemicals. Damn.

So Jin d’Allah is so convinced he is going to suffer, he won’t even cooperate? Youch.

A list of chemicals needed to weaponized Anthrax. What’s that? Some kind of explosive that’s deadly? From your tone, Derek, it sure seems that way.

So even the smallest amount of this Anthrax is deadly to many people? Yikes.

God, I already love Prentiss. She’s like – he’s Egyptian, from Cairo, wait, no, he might be from Yemen, but most like Egypt. You do you, Emily.

So he’s slightly impressed by how much Gideon finds out about him through conversation rather than violence.

Gideon’s worst enemy is ignorance. Welcome to the club, buddy.

Aww, he’s letting him pray! That’s so amazing!

Yikes! Those details are driving me nuts! So turns out that the NSA is routing its satellites to the USA during emergencies of electronic traffic. Meaning, they can basically monitor whoever they want at any given time and just not tell anybody. Well, that’s an unsettling thought there, guys. My condolences. Of course, I don’t know how it works here in Israel, either, so it might very well be happening here, too. In which case – NO ONE IS SAFE! WE NEED AN ESCAPE PLAN TO MARS!

Wait, those CIA assholes kept those water bottles there to remind him that he couldn’t have any? Wow, talk about extreme measures to get him to crack. Yet, they were unsuccessful, so what’s the point? I’m learning a whole new mass of information about the American law enforcement system, and some of it isn’t to my liking at all.

“How can you ignore the fact that Muhammad preached passivity while he was in Mecca? ‘Do no violence.’” Wow. That is true.

“His later message from Medina was perfectly clear. ‘When violence comes upon you, you must fight back with violence.’” Seriously? Turns out he’s not even quoting the Koran, but the Hadith. “The Verse of the Sword”. Which the Muslims argue cancels out earlier teachings. Someone’s spin on the words of the prophet. Oh dear lord.

Fight and slay infidels wherever you find them and seize them in every stratagem of war. – that’s in the Koran?

Ah! Unless they repent. Establish regular prayers and practice regular charity.

So those who embrace the Jihad basically spin everything that Muhammad said and the Koran to support their violent ways to justify their killings as the will of Allah? Oh god, that is seriously messed up, brother.

“How is it that my faith would allow you to live and worship as you please, and yours would take my life and snuff it out?” Amazing. Simply amazing.

“You are simply misguided people of the book.” PAH! “But if you revert to Islam …” seriously? That’s the only way to repent for their ‘sinful ways’?

So he survived a bombing on a bazaar in Cairo? Damn. And he was only eight? Yikes.

Let’s verify it with Oracle of All Knowledge.

Half his family died in the bombing? Damn. Poor thing. But that is not the reason to go on a killing spree in the name of a god, and call it holy revenge. It isn’t.

Wait. They’re going into a site, where there might be an active bomb, an active chemical bomb no less, with no coms? Oh god. Please let my baby boy survive this. I won’t be able to cope with it at work today.

So he’s relieved by telling him that they found the sites? What’s wrong with this guy? Oh my god, he’s the one calling the shots on the bombings. Fuck. Get out of there! The bomb is there and is about to blow!!!! I know it! Morgan, get out of there, leave Professor Short-Skirt, take Hotch with you, and scram!

Oh snap. So they may have gotten the Anthrax from a foreign lab? Damn.

Oh crap, the girls can see the bombing in Annandale, oh god.

Please pick up!

Oh thank god.

“Don’t worry. Don’t think you’re gonna get rid of me that easy.” Thank the almighty lord of chocolate Adonises and chiseled abs. I wouldn’t live without Shemar XD

“Do you need anything?” “I know who to call if I do. Thanks, baby doll.” Aww, just kiss already.

So they didn’t use Anthrax in the two first bombs. But the third one will involve it.

Jind, don’t fuck with Gideon, and don’t fuck with me. You suck, you are evil, and you need to stop.

Wait. He’s changing his story now? His son is the kid who got blown up in the bazaar bombing, and he was the one who survived? Fuck you, asshole!

His real name is Jamal Abaza. Go to hell.

Hey, CIA assholes, why you so rude to my Gideon? Not nice. He’s trying to school you.

Fuck protocols. Assholes.

“How goes with the CIA?” “I don’t know what Gideon said to them, but they are feeding me information like crazy.” Ha, I love Gideon and I love his power of persuasion. I would believe anything that came out of that pretty mouth of his.

Seriously? Jamal, seriously? You and Gideon breath the same air, you are comprised of the same biological components that make you a male human being. Just because you believe in different faiths does not make you all that different. Just means you believe different things. And the fact that you believe your god would like you to eliminate anyone who doesn’t believe in him, but that’s beside the point, am I right? I’m not? Well, fuck you asshole.

Oh. So he’s less than human? You try to kill other humans. Come on.

And yet Gideon is still gracious to him.

That should count for something.

20 grams of Anthrax missing. Ruh-roh.

“No one wants the other kids peeing in their sand box.” Ew, Garcia, simply ew. I mean, true, but ew.

Soft entry. As opposed to what? Cuz you just banged open a door. That’s hard for me.

Whoa. That’s a lot of dead bodies, dude. Fuck.

So he’s bringing in Reid to talk to him? What the hell are you doing?

He’s making jokes? Seriously?

Oh god. Mandy’s horrified expression is just amazing. So touching.

Oh crap. He’s going to blow up a mall. Fuck.

Ha! They manipulated him to think it’s a different time, and they just let him show his final hand. I love you Gideon, and I am so sorry for those people. I hope they get there in time. Shit.

Please, Hayley, postpone the pictures, you need to not go to the mall.

Shit. They’re going through the air vents. Damn.

Yes! My baby boy got him. And now they’re saying it was a robbery? Come on. Let’s not pretend it was anything other than a terror attack.

Oh thank god, Hotchner’s family are okay. Thank god.

Hahahahhaa Jack is so cute!

Ralph Waldo Emerson: “In order to learn the most important lessons of life, one must each day surmount a fear.” Meh, somewhat true.

Boom. Gideon schooled Reid again.

Aww! He’s letting Prentiss play him? That’s nice. So they’re finally trusting her. Good.

Okay, so this episode hit close to home. Not because I was raised in a Jewish household, but because I was raised in Israel, and Muslim extremists and the Jihad were always a threat hovering over our heads. I really hate terrorism. Because it’s a group of sad, pathetic people brainwashing an entire group who believe in a certain faith that in order to prove their faithfulness they have to kill others and maybe die themselves. This episode was extremely powerful. It made me appreciate Prentiss, and make me like her. It had me anxious over my baby boy, Derek, on whether or not he was going to live, and thank goodness he did, and it had a bit of Penelope going nuts over him as well, which was awesome.

Amazing episode, amazing writing, and I hope this season continues to amaze me.

#criminal minds #s02e10 #lessons learned #aaron hotchner #thomas gibson #jason gideon #mandy patinkin #derek morgan #shemar moore #jennifer jareau #aj cook #spencer reid #matthew gray gubler #penelope garcia #kirsten vangsness #emily prentiss #paget brewster

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