OH EM GEE YOUR CROW CONTENTTTT
can you do one that’s, like, the anniversary of Cayde’s death and Crow is getting absolutely hated by everyone at the tower except for our guardian? And like, the superiors, of course.
oooffff course! I really miss Cayde🫡
hyper-focused on crow, guardian is there at the end being supportive (because who doesn’t support him honestly)
added extra levels of angst because it’s my birthday and I love that crap
Also this can be interpreted as platonic or romantic
Memories™︎
It was no secret Crow got… unwanted attention simply for the face he dawned. That was why he spent most of his free time in the H.E.L.M. Walking around the Tower had always been a hassle without a mask; he could hardly take a step without getting a pointed glare or rude remark spat at him. Especially when it came to Hunters. They were furious about Cayde, and even though the Vanguard’s blood wasn’t technically on Crow’s hands, no one else seemed to understand that. No one but the Guardian. His Guardian.
He couldn’t exactly stay out of the Tower forever, though, and he did want to offer his support to the other Vanguards and Guardians on the anniversary. Give them a chance to take the day lightly. He couldn’t deny that the guilt from Cayde’s murder — a murder he didn’t even commit — weighed on him way heavier than he wanted to admit. He knew he didn’t do it, but… at the same time… by extension, he kind of did. Nevertheless, supporting his superiors and doing anything they needed mattered more than whatever was eating at him from the inside. It had to. He couldn’t undo what happened to Cayde, but he could do everything to make up for it.
The sun had already set by the time he and Glint transmatted into the Tower. Crow had taken on almost every single bounty and mission he could weasel out of Zavala, Ikora, and Banshee, even taking a handsome number of quests and bounties from Guardians that were having a rough day with Cayde’s memory. To say he was exhausted would be an understatement. He felt like crap, having been resurrected nearly a dozen, maybe two dozen times. He’d heard the Guardians talk about what they called the “Res Flu”, a kind of sickness that came upon Guardians when their body stopped and got restarted again too many times in a day. He didn’t really get it at the time, because, could Guardians even get sick?
He knew now, though, that they weren’t kidding. He felt like crap. Like he could sleep for four years straight and still be tired when he woke up. His entire body seemed to be aching from being put together again and again, reworked over and over. Between him overworking himself, Uldren’s memories of Cayde floating around in the back of his mind, and the constant windows reboot of getting resurrected again and again, his mind was nothing more than a blurry haze. He just wanted to go to bed, and that want grew exponentially as he walked slowly across the courtyard of the Tower. He was so close to his bed he could almost smell it.
But he needed to check in with Zavala and Ikora first — let them know he’d done what they asked. Unfortunately, between him and the Titan Vanguard were many other Guardians. Crow wouldn’t dare admit that the possibility of their crude words made him a little anxious, but then again, the slight buzz that surfaced in his chest and tiny bit of dread that made its debut in the back of his mind pretty much admitted it for him.
He ducked his head as he walked, tugging at his hood in an attempt to hide his face as he drifted by. The normal buzz of the tower had quieted, both due to the time and the anniversary looming overhead. Crow wished it hadn’t. If the buzz and energy had been normal, it’d be easier for him to remain unseen. He heard Glint humming along behind him, trying to provide little support. It was no secret that Crow got antsy in the Tower.
Fortunately for both his will to live and the countdown until he fell asleep standing up, no one payed him much mind as he made his way to Zavala. The Titan was leaning on the railing, per usual, gazing out at the Last City beyond. Crow drifted quietly up to his side, refraining from leaning on the railing in fear he might not be able to will himself back up.
“I finished the missions and bounties you gave me,” He muttered, crossing his arms over his chest. He was cold. Was it cold outside?
He saw Zavala shift in the corner of his eye, turning to look at him. “You finished them all? That was nearly four days work.”
“Mhm,” The Hunter replied. He didn’t dare glance over at him — mostly of the silent fear he’d be glowering at him like everyone else did. That and the fact he knew he looked like he hadn’t slept in a month.
Crow flinched when the Titan’s hand landed on his shoulder. “Good work, Crow. Go get some rest. You look drained.”
He felt drained. More than drained. Like he needed to get to his room soon or he might fall out in the middle of the Tower. Guardians were supposed to be immortal — you know, not sick. No one told him being a Guardian came with feeling like you’d been hit by a semi-truck after exercising your immortality one too many times.
He supposed there had to be a pitfall, though. There always was. If there wasn’t a pitfall, what would they appreciate? You can’t have good days without bad ones to measure them beside.
He pushed himself away from the balcony, floating mindlessly through the Tower, toward Ikora. His body was absolutely screaming with every step he took. So much so that he had to take a moment to regroup in the tunnels, pretending to fiddle with his gun or something so passersby didn’t realize how faint he looked. He only remembered Uldren getting sick few times, but it never felt like this. It was like, well, the flu — everything hurt, his brain was hazy, and he needed to sleep. He didn’t really mind absence of the other symptoms, though. He wasn’t a fan of nausea and all that.
After only hearing about a third of his own conversation with Ikora, and dropping by to tell Banshee he did what he’d asked, he made a bee-line towards the elevator. Getting down to his room on the residential floor was becoming more of a need than a want at this point. Because, all joking aside, it was starting to get hard to keep moving.
He was making alright progress… until he got to the elevator. There was a trio of Hunters standing in front of it and, if he didn’t collapse on the spot, they’d probably bully him until he did. His hood could only hide so much of his face, but at this point, taking the stairs seemed more risky than it should’ve.
He turned in a sudden, desperate attempt to get out of their line of sight, at least for a moment, but it was too late. A hand latched onto his shoulder and whirled him around. It was too easy for them to move him — he was weak.
“I don’t think you’d want to speak about what happened a year ago today, would you, Uldren Sov?”
Crow jerked his shoulder out of the Hunter’s grip, nearly wincing at the exertion the simple movement took. “That’s not my name,” He murmured flatly.
The Hunter snorted, backing up to be in line with his buddies. Three of them, all humans, all cocky-as-ever and ready to dispatch a kill-shot through Crow’s brain at any given moment.
“My apologies. I meant Little Bird,”
Crow couldn’t work up a proper response, so instead, he just walked toward the elevator. The Hunter sidestepped right into his path. He expected no less.
Crow didn’t have the time nor the energy for this.
“Get out of the way,” He ordered. The Hunter snorted again.
“No, I don’t think I will. After all, you have a murder to answer for. And everyone else here is too brainwashed by second chances to make you,” The Hunter spat, pain haphazardly hidden by venom in his tone. Crow tried to ignore the twisting in his gut that only started when he listened to the Hunter’s words. You’re the reason he’s hurting.
Crow tried to brush the thought off, attempting to blink away the vertigo that was trying to take hold of him. “I… I’m sorry. Okay? I’m sorry about Cayde. Now, please, get out of my way.”
Apologizing and saying please wasn’t exactly a power move, but he was practically running on empty as it was.
“Got somewhere to be, Little Bird?”
Crow closed his eyes momentarily, wrapping his arms around his middle to provide himself at least a little comfort. He looked absolutely pathetic in the face of these Hunters and he knew it. Somehow, he couldn’t bring himself to care. Maybe he felt too bad to care.
“Please get out of my way,” He repeated.
“Dude, he isn’t looking so hot. Maybe you should just let him go,” One of the other Hunters piped up. The main one, a dude with blond hair, glared back at him.
“Yeah, well, Cayde isn’t looking too hot right now either, is he?”
The guilt rose back up inside of him like bile, and Crow looked away. He remembered pulling the trigger. He remembered killing Cayde. The back of his eyes began to burn and as much as he wanted to stop it, he couldn’t. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s gonna take more than a few empty words to make up for the hole you left in the Vanguard. In us,”
“I’m sorry,” Crow half-whimpered, still not opening his eyes. He could nearly feel his body getting weaker by the second. And it didn’t feel good.
He really was sorry — he really, really, really was. No one ever stopped for a second to consider that the anniversary hurt him, too. In fact, it didn’t just hurt on the anniversary. It hurt every day, living with the memories of murdering a man that would’ve been his leader. That would’ve supported him, been his friend. It hurt.
His Guardian would understand.
His eyes shot open a moment later, when the Hunter latched onto his cloak and jerked him forward. “You don’t get to be all emotional today, Sov, you did this.”
“Let him go!” Crow heard Glint’s panicked voice from behind, and he floated up to his Guardian’s side to try and offer support. There’s only so much a tiny floating robot can do, though. Crow reached up, grabbing the Hunter’s wrists where they sat close to his neck.
“Let go of me,”
“Do you understand the amount of pain and hurt you caused? In the Vanguard, in us, in everyone. There are people that have barely been able to get out of bed today because of you. People that spent weeks crying themselves to sleep because of you. People that still can’t look at Exos because of you!” The Hunter shoved Crow backwards, but it didn’t take very much force to make him hit the floor.
“Come on, dude. Leave him alone. You said what you needed to say,” One of the other Hunters stated from above where Crow was. He pushed himself up onto his hands and knees, coughing shakily. He suddenly felt a lot worse than he had. If that was even possible.
He was jerked off of the floor again and this time, shoved against the wall behind him. The blond Hunter was right in his face.
“Watch your back, Sov. There are more than a few of us willing to put a knife in it the first chance we get,”
Crow didn’t respond, only stayed eerily still as he and the Hunter stared at one another. He was released after a few dreaded moments of silence.
The Hunters all glared at him as they left, muttering amongst themselves.
Crow reached up to his cloak, grabbing where the other Hunter just had. He could sense the underlying pain in that guy’s voice. That Hunter wasn’t just talking about other people barely able to get out of bed, crying themselves to sleep, unable to look at Exos. He was talking about himself. And Crow — er, Uldren — had done that to him.
“Crow?” Glint floated up in front of his face, momentarily breaking his Guardian out of the trance. “We should go now.”
Crow nodded, heading into the elevator with Glint as a watchful eye. He could hardly focus on anything on the way to his room. Not the elevator, not the passersby, not Glint. All he could think about was how terrible he felt. Physically, yes, but mostly about Cayde.
How far was he from Uldren, anyway? Close enough for everyone to blame him for Cayde’s death. Maybe they weren’t as different as he pretended they were. Maybe he and Uldren were one and the same.
The gunshot that rang out from Cayde’s gun that night played in his mind on repeat, and he didn’t mind to let his eyes sting as he made his way further down the residential halls. Less likely someone would see him, anyway. With his arms still wrapped around his own torso, both to try and comfort himself and stop him from having some fever-induced breakdown, he walked into his room and shut the door with his foot. He leaned against the cool material with a deep sigh. Finally, he was alone.
Glint clicked robotically. “Uhm… Crow?”
Before he could reply, another voice came: “Oh my God, Crow! You look terrible.”
He whirled around at the voice, nearly yelling out from surprise. He blinked, and it took him a second to realize the studio apartment he was standing in… it wasn’t his. It was the Guardian’s. His Guardian’s.
He’d autopiloted his way into the wrong apartment. Same door, one floor too high.
The Guardian was staring at him with a mixture of pity and compassion, already making their way to him from across the room. Their Ghost was bobbing worriedly next to them. Crow averted his gaze. He didn’t want to have a conversation with them, he didn’t want to explain. All he felt like doing at the moment was curling in on himself and crying until the anniversary was over — for Cayde. For the man he murdered.
“How many times did you res today?” They asked, grimacing slightly as they got close enough to see how bad he looked.
“I don’t know,” He muttered. He wanted to shrink, to disappear. The closest he could get was recoiling slightly when they got close. “Ten. Twenty. Thirty. I don’t know.”
“Crow,” They weren’t scolding him, their voice didn’t contain even a hint of annoyance. They just… felt bad for him. “Didn’t I tell you about the res flu, or was that a dream?”
“No, you told me,” He replied blankly, staring at the floor under his feet. The Guardian stepped forward and watched to see if he’d recoil again. He didn’t this time, but he did turn away from their gaze.
“What kind of mission did they put you on where you had to res that many times?”
He shrugged, suddenly becoming very aware of the pounding at the back of his head. When had that started? “All of them,” He deadpanned.
The Guardian blinked. “What do you mean?”
“I took all of them. From everyone. Bounties, too. I… didn’t want them to… to do the work today,” He muttered, not sounding convincing even to himself despite telling the truth.
The Guardian’s wheels turned for a moment, before it clicked. “You’re trying to make up for Cayde?”
Crow looked away, wrapping his arms around his middle again like some sort of defense mechanism. “I remember… shooting him. I remember talking to him. I remember pulling the trigger, I… this was all my fault. I need to make up for it. I need to… answer for it. I need to be… to be…”
“Punished?” They whispered, more of a statement than an actual question. Crow couldn’t do much more than nod.
“I hurt so many people…” He hardly noticed he was swaying on his feet until the Guardian appeared right in front of him, steadying him by placing their hands on his shoulders.
“You didn’t, Uldren did. You don’t have anything to answer for,” They stated, eyes flicking across his face with worry. “Come sit down, you look like you’re about to keel over.”
“No, I… I’m gonna go to my room. I didn’t even mean to walk in here, I…” His sentence trailed off as his head throbbed so hard it made his eyeballs hurt. Screw this stupid res flu.
“If you think I’m gonna let you walk anywhere like this, you are sorely mistaken,” They stated. Instead of making him sit down, though, they decided to pull him into them.
He hated when they did that. It made him feel like a child.
He hated when they did that because it felt so… good. He didn’t deserve to feel good. Not today.
But he couldn’t force himself to wriggle out of their grip. Instead, as much as he hated himself for it, he sank into them, not moving his arms but supplying his horribly angry body with much more comfort than he’d had all day. They were warm, and comfortable, and… everything he didn’t deserve. Still, his head dropped down onto their shoulder. He let out a sigh of relief, a sigh he thought he didn’t… no, knew he didn’t deserve. Relief he didn’t deserve.
“You don’t need to be punished for something you didn’t do. You’re not Uldren,” They stated quietly, one of their hands trailing up and down his back as the other rested on his head. It felt so good and he hated it.
“I…” He sucked in a breath as the back of his eyes started to sting again. “I’m sorry about Cayde. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…”
“Crow…”
“I’m so, so sorry,” He bit back the sob that threatened to force its way up his throat. “I’m sorry.”
“Stop apologizing,”
“I’m sorry,”
“Crow!”
As much as he despised himself for it, the stupid sob he’d been trying to keep inside shoved its way out of him. A quiet, broken sound he didn’t mean for anybody but Glint and his pillow to hear.
You don’t get to be all emotional today, Sov, you did this.
“I’m so sorry,” He whispered, more into their shoulder than actually to them. He felt their arms shift around him.
“Stop saying sorry, Crow. None of this is your fault,” They murmured. He stirred, the guilt inside of him boiling up like a raging fire to devour every hint of comfort he received.
“It’s all my fault!” He spat, but his words held no actual venom. If they did, it was all toward himself.
“No it’s not. None of this is your fault. I know for a fact that if it really was you behind the trigger, you wouldn’t have aimed it at him in the first place,” The Guardian spoke quietly, one of their hands moving through his hair. “It isn’t fair that you have to bear his burdens. Hurt for what he did. The way these other Guardians treat you… none of it is fair. But… all I can do about it now is be here for you.”
He merely grunted in response, the momentary crying making his head hurt ten times worse. Right now, he just wanted to go to bed.
“You still with me, Crow?”
“Mhm,”
He heard them snicker lightly. “The first res flu is always the worst. It’ll pass soon enough.”
He was too tired and too comfortable to respond. So comfortable he was in jeopardy of falling asleep right there.
“You’re not Uldren. You didn’t kill Cayde. Do you understand that?”
He opened his mouth to no avail.
“Crow?”
“I… understand,” He whispered, adjusting his head slightly on their shoulder. He felt them move their arms.
They snickered lightly. “You gonna go to bed right there?”
It took him a moment to process their words, but he finally worked up a quiet: “Maybe.”
He was hardly conscious when he heard them snicker again. “Then let’s get you on the couch, yeah?”
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I started this all the way back at the end of Season of the Lost and just now finished it.
Inspired by @a-driftamongopenstars' Old Light, New Light series.
“Are you sure?” Ace asked, looking to where her right hand was extended and her Ghost floated in her palm. He vibrated gently in a reassuring manner. “I’ve spoken with Glint, he needs you right now.” Ghost says to you through your telepathic connection. You nodded and you were instantly transmatted to the loading bay of the Radiant Accipiter.
“Crow?” You ask softly as you approach, both he and Glint looked up at the sound of your voice. You stood there for a second, trying to assess whether or not he wanted your company, only moving when you felt the gentle prod of Glint between your shoulders, urging you forward. Your armor and weapons disappeared as you stepped forward, and out of the corner of your eye you saw Ghost vanish with Glint.
“Are these eyes the ones that haunt you at night?” Crow asks, leveling you with his gaze as you approach him fully.
For years whenever you tried to sleep, all you could see in your dreams was Uldren’s glowing glare as he pulled Ace of Spades’ trigger and shattered your life.
As weird as it was, you’d found comfort in Crow. Your anger at seeing him risen as a Guardian slowly faded as you’d seen first hand how earnest he was, how innocent. He was the opposite of Uldren, the fact that he was a fellow Hunter was just cruel irony. A tentative friendship had developed after you’d saved him and Glint from Spider’s employ. Ghost urged you to tell Crow in the early stages of your friendship, you hadn’t, and were now regretting not taking his counsel.
You gaze into the warm glow of his amber eyes, and to his surprise, you smile. “No. I don’t see any trace of Uldren in your eyes, Crow.” You say, holding his gaze, and you feel his body relax slightly next to yours.
“Now I know why you always looked at me that way.” He says softly as he looks down to the knife in his hand, the one you’d given him last Dawning. He looks back up into your eyes as you speak.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I didn’t know how.” You say quietly, knowing his mind must be reeling from whatever Savathûn said or showed him of his past life.
You put on a brave face, but you still carried the weight of Cayde’s death. The fact that you had feelings for who was once his killer wasn’t helping your guilt any. You knew that Cayde would want you to be happy, and Crow made you so so happy.
“If it were me, I wouldn’t have known what to say either, Guardian.” Crow replies, reaching out for your hand, your fingers entwine and you stand there looking out at the Dreaming City. Crow had already been in orbit there when you joined him.
“Were you going to go down there and see your sister?” You ask after a comfortable silence, hoping it isn’t a sensitive topic.
“No. I returned here to see if I would feel anything. I don’t, and it seems strange that I was on the Tangled Shore for so long and I had no idea that my former home was right there all along.” Crow replies with a shrug, turning away from the window and going to an overhead compartment, pulling you with him by your entwined fingers. “This is for you.” Crow says, holding out a blue box with white and gold stars on it and a gold ribbon.
“You didn’t have to get me anything.” You reply as you accept it, feeling a blush start to color your cheeks.
“I know. I wanted to.” Crow replies, and you share a smile before you ease off the top and push away the tissue paper. Inside is a black knife with a white spade on the blade and the wings of a crow on the handle. It was an obviously expensive Eververse commission and you were speechless.
“Crow- Thank you, it’s beautiful.” You manage, turning to wrap your arms around his neck and pull him into a hug.
“You’re welcome. Now you can take us both with you, always.” Crow replies, squeezing you gently as his arms wrap around you.
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the crow for the character ask meme
Send me a character, I'll do the prompt.
THE CROW
Favourite Thing About Him
This one's another thing to which I'd say his design! I love the bird motif on his chest combined with the monochromatic color scheme.. And also he's cute LMAO
His character's intriguing to me and he's someone I'd love to learn more about!
Now for Uldren because I'm also going to double down and talk about him here too (even though they are technically two separate entities) I don't know enough about Uldren to really say much but I think he's pretty neat. Like Crow I wanna learn more about Uldren too, and based on what I do know Uldren was a fucking victim.
Least Favourite Thing About Him
The direction Bungie is going with him in Defiance. Just. This whole season has been somewhat of a trainwreck to the point where I don't even want to complete the story, just. Gimme my items and cosmetics, my emotes, and let me go. And Crow is especially where the writing for him is starting to fall flat.
As for Uldren, I'm not really too sure because I don't know that much about him yet, and "He killed Cayde" seems too straightforward and reductive of me as someone who enjoys learning about the lore and the characters within said lore.
Favourite Line
I don't know it exactly, but his quote about how he could "Never replace Cayde," and how he wants to see if he can organize the Hunters a bit, etc etc is one of my favourite little morsels from him. He would be pretty cool as a Vanguard I think!
As for lines from Uldren, I haven't been exposed enough to him and his dialogue to really choose one in particular. But what I do know about him is that he was one kick-ass antagonist in his time.
BrOTP
Amanda!! Why ship them when they can be best friends instead?
OTP
I don't have one.
NoTP
Also don't really have one yet.
Random Headcanon
Crow is a regular at all the Last City's goth clubs. He's there whenever he has time, mingling with others with similar interests to his own, or just lurking in the corner. But when it comes to it, when his favourite song comes on, he can absolutely kill it. Want to learn about goth dancing? He would be glad to show you. Ask him for goth music recs he's full of 'em.
As for Uldren, again I don't really have one.
Unpopular Opinion
I think that. Crow/Uldren is unfortunately one of those characters that attracts Really Weird (See: terrible people) Fans. And when I say "weird fans" I'm not referring to the innocence that is shipping OC/Canon, making fankids, fanfic, etc etc. What I mean are people who just. I can't describe it other than they're obsessed with Crow/Uldren but in a way that distinctively feels off. The type of person that likes [x character] and also falls under the demographic of people that are Why Fandoms Suck. (Some other examples of cool characters that attract The Worst include characters like Starscream from Transformers. If you know I'm sorry and you deserve compensation. If you don't, stay ignorant for your own good.)
I know Crow/Uldren isn't the only character within Destiny that has a following of a Certain Group Of People (I.E Cayde-6) but it's still something worth pointing out, and it also Answers The Question. I don't know what's with characters like Crow/Uldren, Cayde-6 and Starscream (among countless others) that very quickly become the black sheep of their respective community because of the behavior of certain fans (either the vocal minority or the majority) but man it's. A problem. To my knowledge Crow/Uldren fans have been chill so far but I've also heard of absolute horror stories LMAO. and i say this because I've seen both "Uldren/Crow Haters DNI" and "Uldren/Crow Fans DNI" about a dozen times now.
Song I Associate W/ Him
For Crow;
another character I need to build a playlist for! This one I think is like. Ugh. I don't know, it feels like something my Titan would send to him on a bad day.
"When we grew up, our shadows grew up, too. / But they're just old ghosts that we grow attached to. / The tragic flaw is that they hide the truth, / That you're enough, you're enough, you're enough, / I promise you're enough, you're enough, you're enough. / I promise you're enough, you're enough, you're enough."
For Uldren;
It's the general vibe and atmosphere of this song that does it for me I think. Another candidate was The Mind Electric.
"All / For nothing at all. / All, for nothing at all, / With something to prove. / I was in the forest looking to see the trees, / But none were there."
An honorary mention is King Volcano by Bauhaus. Another one that's mostly vibe-based.
"King Volcano gave me numbers / King Volcano is clean. / Lonely people burn like candles, / Only we are clean."
Favourite Pictures
For Crow;
LOOK AT HIS FUCKING FACE. HE LOOKS SO FUCKING SWEET. HE CAN TRY HIS HARDEST TO LOOK SCARY LIKE ULDREN DOES (so effortlessly mind you) AND HE WOULD. JUST GKJDNSDKFNLFHND CUTE GUY ALERT!!!! and look. he's an absolute dork in this scene. crow my beloved my DARLING
For Uldren;
this image is cold as HELL. uldren looks so badass so effortlessly. holy fuck. work it girl.
and there's something abt the shot here specifically that. hoo boy scratches something in the back of my brain. i love antagonists that are so effortlessly cool as FUCK
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