#the christian of it all!!! the simon of it all!!!! going back expecting ridicule!!!! so fucking loved and doesn't even know it!!! INSANE!!!
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Ricciardo opens up on his McLaren departure: “I didn't care anymore" | Goodwood Road and Racing
#daniel ricciardo#m:sm#dan#red bull redux#HELLO???????#i know people have posted parts of this but it's NOT ENOUGH!!! THERE'S SO MUCH MORE!!!!#and even this i would say isn't all of it#the christian of it all!!! the simon of it all!!!! going back expecting ridicule!!!! so fucking loved and doesn't even know it!!! INSANE!!!#also that first quote about christian specifically mentioning simon is soooo like. simon IS coming back and daniel's gonna make sure of it#whether that's convincing simon to do it of his own volition or just reiterating over and over how impactful that was for him#to the point where OBVIOUSLY christian is going to have no choice but make the executive decision that simon needs to come back temporarily#just to help daniel ease the transition back#but of course all of this is happening knowing that the second simon gets a taste of that magic again there's no way he's giving it up 😈
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Wagnerrant Review #4 - Mishaps and Emotion
Work: Tannhäuser
House: Bayerische Staatsoper
Date of performance: 11.07.2021
Team
Director: Romeo Castellucci
Conductor: Asher Fish
With: Georg Zeppenfeld, Klaus Florian Vogt, Simon Keenlyside, Dean Power, Andreas Bauer Kanabas, Ulrich Heß, Martin Snell, Lise Davidsen, Elena Pankratova, Sarah Gilford, Soloists of the Tölzer Knabenchor
Review: @dichterfuerstin
With Jonas Kaufmann’s Tristan debut right next to Anja Harteros’ Isolde debut (Watch the stream on staatsoper.tv, July 31st, 5PM CEST, it’s worth it), it’s hard to believe that the event I was looking forward to the most in the 2020/21 opera season was a performance of a four-year-old production that I’ve seen online before. But it was and so I did everything to get my hands on tickets for this season’s only performance of Tannhäuser at Bayerische Staatsoper. I cannot describe how happy I was when I got them and how sad I am now that it’s over. I hope that writing this review will help me revive those five hours at Bayerische Staatsoper – truly a special evening.
The best part of the entire production is the opening scene. Romeo Castellucci uses the fairly long overture and Venusberg music to visualise Tannhäuser being lured to Venus. A group of topless woman shoots arrows at a picture of a human eye, later the picture changes to that of a human ear, bewitching Tannhäuser’s senses until he gives in. A Tannhäuser-double walks on stage and climbs up the backdrop.
This entire scene is choreographed flawlessly, every arrow compliments the music, and their placement on the backdrop is planned in a way where it works both for the picture of the eye and for the ear.
Castellucci did everything himself in this 2017 production of Tannhäuser. He directed, designed the sets, the costumes, and even the lighting. Solely the choreography by Cindy van Acker isn't his work. The result is a stunning unity of visuals on stage.
It’s those that tell the story, not the characters. Elena Pankratova, who returned to the production to replace Daniela Sindram, pretty much only had to sit around as Venus, but she doesn’t have to move. It’s the mountain of flesh she’s sitting in, and the fact that both her and her lovers seem to melt away in fat and skin, that explains to the audience that Venus is a personification of both Lust and Gluttony.
In act two, the singers could just stand in the wings to sing their lines. Not their acting tells us how they define love, but a single word written on a cube serving as altar and speaker’s desk at the same time. When Tannhäuser finally bursts out the confession that he’s been with Venus the words disappear and instead black colour gets spray-painted around in the cube. The black, forbidden aspect of Tannhäuser’s soul.
The entire production gradually becomes blacker. While act one is even fairly colourful – fleshy pink for Venus, and bloody red for the Wartburg-knights’ costumes the deer they’re hunting, act two is white with only implied skin and nudity, though a lot of it, and act three is black until the curtain-call.
This third act is the most impactful part of Castellucci’s production. It doesn’t raise nearly as much questions as act one and two – why do the knight’s costumes look like BDSM-fetish outfits? Why are there feet all over the stage during the Sängerkrieg? It shows the passage of time in the most impactful way. While more and more ridiculous numbers appear on the black screen – millions and millions and millions of year pass, the audience is shown the process of corpses rotting. And it’s not Tannhäuser’s and Elisabeth’s corpses, the names on the graves are those of the singers – Klaus and Lise. The message of this image? Tannhäuser and Elisabeth can’t be together in this timeline, but their story surpasses their lifetime.
But no matter how powerful the imagery: Once again the singers do pretty much just stand and sit around while the stage speaks for them. Thus they can’t convince through their acting choices, but have to put everything into their voices.
And they do. Especially Georg Zeppenfeld convinces as Landgraf Hermann. He is probably the most reliable singer of our time, he doesn’t seem to have off-days. And as always he’s at his best in this performance. His voice carrying easily through the performance and singing a dignified, powerful Landgraf. And no matter what happens, he always remains calm.
The opposite of calm is obviously Tannhäuser. Klaus Florian Vogt debuted the role in this back in 2017 and hasn’t been replaced for even one year ever since. With good reason: His unusually light voice is a perfect fit for the sometimes too self-assured, sometimes insecure Tannhäuser. In addition to this, Vogt noticeably puts his whole soul into his performance, even though he apparently did not have the time to fully revise his, which led to a kind of sad “In ihr liegt in Maria” instead of the famous “Mein Heil liegt in Maria” and other mishaps. He makes up for his mess-ups by making his Tannhäuser especially emotional. He’s not afraid of letting a character’s emotions influence the sound and spices up the Romerzählung by singing with a different voice when quoting the pope, in comparison to when he’s just Tannhäuser.
Lise Davidsen as Elisabeth is equally impressive. Having heard her as Sieglinde just some weeks before, I remembered her sometimes not being loud enough to get over a Wagnerian orchestra. This time however, she was in perfect form and every single one of her notes reached the audience, even the more quiet and scared lines in act three. I loved those especially. Davidsen dares to give her Elisabeth an insecure, questioning tone for “Sie sind’s” and “Sie kehren heim” and thus makes the audience really understand how much she fears Tannhäuser not coming back.
With their voices harmonizing perfectly, with their acting skills, their creativity and emotion, Davidsen and Vogt make a great duo and we can only hope to hear them together in many more productions – next up is Die Walküre in Bayreuth.
The most impressive performance, however, delivers Simon Keenlyside as Wolfram von Eschenbach.
Stepping in for another singer with just one day’s notice is hard, especially if this singer is Christian Gerhaher, munich’s favourite baritone. But Keenlyside, most well-known for his Mozart-interpretations mastered his unexpected Wagner-Challenge with ease. He acted as if he’d been rehearsing the production for weeks, and his big voice filled the Nationaltheater with ease, while always embracing Wolfram’s character. Not once he slipped into just singing his lines. Of course one could criticise that he never seemed to keep his hands still, unusual, when you’re used to Gerhaher’s interpretation of Wolfram von Eschenbach, but let’s be honest: This would be nothing more than beckmessering.
Keenlyside is not the only one stepping in, though the others had about two weeks to prepare for their roles. Elena Pankratova, returning as Venus for Daniela Sindram, who was supposed to take over the role this season, and like Zeppenfeld and Vogt an original cast member in Castellucci’s production sings, as if she had planned to come back to Venus, her strong Soprano outshines the unflattering costume her director gave her.
Last but not least, Asher Fish conducted the performance for Simone Young. While it would have been nice to see a female conductor for diversity’s sake, opera is a world still very much dominated by men, one cannot complain about Fish’s conducting. He works out orchestra parts that are hardly noticeable, sometimes works them out too much, like when Tannhäuser is discovered by the Wartburg-society in act one he pronounces the more rhythmic parts so hard the music ends up sounding like traditional dance music you’d expect at German fairs. But just like Vogt seems to have finally found his libretto in act two, the conducting gets more balanced and with sensible dynamic- and tempo choices Fish gives the opera the amount of tragedy and sadness it needs, together with the mixture of euphoria and anger Tannhäuser’s descriptions of love in act two need.
Even if not everything went well – the choir could have been more balanced, the very first set change in act didn’t go as smoothly as it’s supposed to go, and not everyone knew their lines – the performance was touching, very nice to see, and fantastic to hear. I’m so glad to have been there, and cast and crew deserved all of the applause they got – certainly more than ten minutes of clapping and cheering.
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Getting Off The Wrong Foot
[Christian Yu | Chapter VI]
Previous Chapters:
Chapter I | Chapter II | Chapter III | Chapter IV | Chapter V
The following week passed by quickly. You had meetings back to back and you were drowning in all the paper work that you tried to put off as long as possible. You didn’t have the time to catch up with any of your friends. The only people you interacted with were your team and potential clients. You didn’t meet Christian that week either, but you texted a lot and he had been nothing but sweet. His week was just as busy and hectic as your own, nonetheless he always found time to reply. It was nice, not being left on read for a change.
You headed into the interview and photo shoot, which took place on the same day, without much preparation. You didn’t even have time to go through the questions they had sent you, because every time you got home you were so worn out, you just went straight to bed. As you were standing there watching the staff members set up the props for the shoot, you felt incredibly nervous. It was the first time you would actually be standing in front of the camera as a model. Closing your eyelids, you tried to remember the tips Christian had given you the night before when he called you.
~*~
To your surprise, the shooting with Vogue finished earlier than you had expected. The interview also went by quickly. The journalist seemed to satisfied with most of your answers and you laughed a lot together. She did try to pry into your private life though, which really took you off guard. She must have heard about the rumors surrounding your ex boyfriend. And that was the moment when things went south.
You weren’t trained for situations like this, you didn’t have a publicist, so your reaction must have given it away and confirmed all the rumors that were taking their rounds. However, she promised you not to use any of that, since the story she wanted to write was about a self-made woman who found success in a male dominated industry, not about woman with a messy love life.
You were incredibly tired, but you decided to visit the set of DPR’s shooting nonetheless. Christian had been bugging you the last few days, trying to persuade you to drop by. Usually you wouldn’t miss a day of shooting, but your schedule was especially tight this week and you just wanted a little break.
“You didn’t have to doll yourself up for me,“ Christian remarked with a smirk as he saw your fully made face. You caught him eyeing you up and down like he did every time you met him, something you somehow you got so used to, his staring didn’t even bother you that much any more.
“I came straight from the shoot, didn’t have time to remove the make up,” you rolled your eyes at him a gentle smile played on your lips.
“Wanted to see me that badly, yeah?“ He began teasing you again, his eyes lingering on you. He leaned back against the table, his hands supporting his weight on either side, resting in a comfortable position.
“You have a talent for making everything about you.“
“You flatter me,” a sly smirk covered the bottom half of his handsome face. “How did it go?”
“I’m more used to being behind the camera. But hey, I got over it,” you shrugged your shoulders. You couldn’t asses whether you did a good job or not. You felt awkward throughout the entire shoot, but the staff seemed to be satisfied with the outcome. You didn’t have the time to go through the pictures yourself, as you rushed to the filming site for the project with Nike.
“The shooting ended early so it must have been good.”
“Or I sucked so much they gave up on me,” you said playfully.
Christian shook his head at you as he chuckled lightly. “Ay, what’s up with that negativity? I bet you did just fine. You have a pretty face, it’s hard to make that look bad.”
“Real smooth,” you rolled your eyes. He was a pure flirt and he really didn’t miss even one opportunity to let his coquette self shine. Whether it was genuine or not, receiving so many compliments did make you feel good.
“What about the interview?”
“Oh god, don’t even start with that,” you let out a deep sigh as he reminded you of the mess you were trying to forget. “They asked about Kiseok and I was frozen like a fool,” you let out a deep sigh.
“Kiseok?” Christian cocked up one of his brows.
“Yeah, Jung Kiseok,” you shrugged your shoulders nonchalantly, surprised by his own surprised reaction.
“You mean Simon D?”
“Yeah,” You blinked at him confused. You didn’t understand why he was so stunned upon hearing that name.
“Why would they ask about him?”
“Are you serious right now?” You looked at him dumbfounded, a chuckle leaving your lips in disbelief. “He’s my ex,” you stated as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. Well, it somehow was. It wasn’t that much of a secret. You didn’t go public with the relationship, but most of his fans and people working in the industry knew anyway. You had assumed he knew too, just like everyone else.
“Wait…you dated Simon D?” He eyes widened at you as he gave you a look full of disbelief.
“You didn’t know?” His surprised expression was reflected on your own face. How could he not have heard the rumors? Was he living under a rock?
“No! How would I know? You never mentioned his name.”
“I didn’t think I had to. Everybody knows.”
“Obviously not,” he corrected you with a light chuckle.
“Well, now you do,” you shrugged your shoulders. “Why are you so surprised though?
“No particular reason. It’s just…I had a meeting with him a couple days ago and now it turns out you know him too, well, actually you dated him. The world really is small.”
“You had a meeting with Kiseok?” You inquired as a frown covered your face. You didn’t have a good feeling, your gut was telling you that something wasn’t right.
“Yeah, he wants to work on a music video together,” you could hear the excitement in his voice though he tried to hide it. But you couldn’t blame him, Simon D was a huge and he was well respected artist in the music industry. Almost every young rapper these days looked up to him.
You stared at him silently, not saying anything as you were trying to make sense of this situation. Christian immediately noticed your hesitation and wariness.
“You don’t want me to work with him because of your history with him?” He asked carefully, his voice was gentle.
“No, it’s not like that…it’s just…I don’t think it is a coincidence,” you stuttered as you didn’t find the right words to say. You didn’t know how to explain your suspicion without sounding like a petty ex girlfriend.
“That he wants to work with DPR? Not trying to be cocky, but I directed amazing music videos.”
“No, that’s not what I mean, Christian. You’re talented, everybody knows that...but it’s Kiseok we’re talking about. Everything he does has an agenda.”
“What would he get out of this?”
“I don’t know. But I know this is not a coincidence. And you’re not really his favourite person right now...” you pointed out the obvious.
“Because I slept with you?” Christian chuckled, brushing off your worries as though they were unreasonable. “How would he know that? I didn’t tell anyone and I believe you didn’t either. I know he’s a dick, but you might be a little bit paranoid.”
“It’s a small industry, Christian, there’s always gonna be rumors. And we fucked in an elevator. You really think words didn’t spread?”
“Look,” his expression softened at you, “if you don’t want me to work with him because of your history together, I understand and I won’t. I care about you. But you need to be honest with me.”
“It’s really not like that, Christian,” you tried to explain it to him, but he just didn’t seem to get it. “I’m not saying this out of pettiness. Believe me, I couldn’t care any less who you’re working with. I just don’t want you to be used for whatever sick agenda he has in mind.”
“So, you wouldn’t mind if I worked with him?”
“Christian…you don’t understand,” you let out a frustrated sigh
“Minhee, I don’t see the correlation. Maybe you think this is about you, or maybe you want this to be about you, because you’re still in love with him,” you could see how he was regretting what he said, the moment those words left his mouth. But what was said, was said and couldn’t be taken back.
“That’s ridiculous,” you shook your head violently.
“You told me you weren’t over him.”
“I’m not denying that. We dated for a long time and getting over him is the hardest thing I ever had to do, but this is not about me. For fucks sake Christian, I just don’t want him to use someone who’s important to me,” you began to curse out of frustration. He had totally misunderstood you.
“I’m getting paid and I’m getting exposure, if anything I’m using him,” Christian shrugged his shoulders.
“Fine, do whatever you want,” you sighed in defeat, realising there was no use in talking with him. He was too stubborn.
“Are you mad at me now?”
“No, I’m not. I just don’t want him to win and mess with you.”
“I can handle him. You don’t have to worry about me.”
“Gosh, Christian, you’re really dense sometimes,” you rolled your eyes at him. He really didn’t want to understand.
“Promise, you’ll stay out of it and let me handle it?”
“...fine, whatever.” You decided to drop this topic.
~*~
You entered AOMG’s office and it still felt weird having the receptionist greet you. They had moved into a new building for a couple months already, but you hadn’t spend a lot of time here. It was around the time Kiseok got really busy, at least that’s what he made you believe. Now you knew he was trying to avoid you because of his feelings of guilt. You missed the old office. You missed the time you spent there when everything was still rainbows and unicorns.
You asked the receptionist about Jay’s whereabouts and she led you into one of their meeting rooms and told you to wait. You took a seat as you let your eyes wander around the interior curiously. Things had really changed. Back then you used to burst into their studio unannounced whenever you wanted. It didn’t matter what they were doing, they always welcomed you with open arms.
“Hey,” Jay greeted excitedly, happy to see you again as he joined you in the meeting room. As soon as he saw you, a warm smile played on his lips. “You could have just come into the studio.”
“Your receptionist brought me here.”
“Ah! That’s Loco’s cousin. She’s new so she doesn’t know how things work around here. Actually we don’t really need a receptionist, but he asked me to employ her so she could pay off her tuition fees.”
As you listened to his story, your lips curved upwards in amazement. It was reassuring to know that while everything around you was changing, turning to the worse, Jay’s personality always remained the same. He was still the same humble guy you met a few years ago. They guy who tried his best to lift up the people around him.
For a while you even forgot why you came here in the first place, it was nice catching up with him. You forgot your anger and disappointment and for a brief moment everything seemed to be just fine.
“How are you doing? I heard you’re really busy these days.”
“Ugh, I’m drowning in work. I still can’t understand how you’re able to manage two labels…but I’m not here to complain about work. I wanted to ask you something.”
“Oh, here I thought you came to visit because you missed me,” Jay chuckled lightly, motioning you to go ahead.
“Did you by chance tell Kiseok about Christian and me?” You asked him straight forward. Jay was someone you could be honest to, you didn't have to beat around the bush with him.
“Christian and you?” He cocked up one of his brows, his mouth turning grim. “Since when are you guys a “we” and “us”?”
“We’re not. You know what I mean,” you sighed out loud. You knew this conversation wouldn’t be easy, but Jay made it even more uncomfortable than it had to be.
“It was not a one time thing then?”
“Jay, I didn’t come here for an interrogation. I just want to know if you told Kiseok.”
Jay lowered his gaze, almost as though he felt ashamed. “I might have mentioned it…briefly”
“God, why did you do that?” You looked at him in disbelief, feeling betrayed by your own best friend.
“I’m sorry, Min. It just slipped. It wasn’t my intention.”
“You said you wouldn’t pick a side, but to me it seems like you clearly did,” you pushed your chair behind and stood up, not wanting to prolong this conversation with him.
“I didn’t pick any side. The last thing I want, is to hurt you. You know Kiseok, he just got it out of me somehow.”
“Telling him is one thing, but hiring DPR for one of your projects? That’s just low. I mean I expected something like that from Kiseok, but I didn’t think you would facilitate that kind of childish behavior.” You shot him a disgusted glare. You just couldn’t believe that out of all people, Jay would betray you like that. It was so out of his character.
“Minhee, I seriously have no idea what you’re talking about right now,” Jay furrowed his brows in confusion.
“Kiseok hired DPR for his next music video. You’re the CEO, don’t tell me you didn’t know anything about that.”
Jay wasn’t the type of CEO that was up in the business of his employees. He would give them the creative freedom they needed and let his artists do whatever they wanted. He didn’t rush them to release music nor did he dictate what kind of music they had to make. However, if contracts were involved, Jay always had the last say.
“He did not. I’m sure of it. I just reviewed the contract we signed with JM Studios weeks ago.”
“What about the meeting with DPR?”
“What meeting? I know nothing about that. I can ask around, but we never scheduled a meeting with DPR. I haven’t talked to them since Loco’s collaboration with Live.”
You stared at him dumbfounded, at loss for words since none of this made any sense. But there was only one possible explanation for this mess.
“Where is that son of a bitch?!”
~*~
You stormed into his studio, kicking the door open.
“Just what the fuck is wrong with you?” You shut the door close behind you with a loud bang as your eyes flickered at him lividly.
Kiseok was sure surprised to see you, but he knew how to maintain his composure. He turned his chair around, blinking at you as innocently as ever. “What are you talking about?”
“Cut the bullshit, Kiseok! Why the hell would you have a meeting with DPR when you’ve already hired a different company for your fucking music video?”
“I had a meeting with them, because I’m interested in their work and wanted to keep my options open,” he shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. That smug smirk of his rubbing you in all the wrong places. “Why do you care?”
He was taunting you with his eyes. It was a challenge. He wanted you to admit that you knew Christian in one way or the other.
“Keeping your options open while you’ve already signed a deal? Stop bullshitting me. I’m sick of it! If you want to get back at me, that’s fine, but don’t drag in people that have nothing to do with this.” You raised your voice at him. You felt the anger boiling inside of you like a volcano that was about to erupt. Fires of fury were smoldering in your eyes as your gaze pierced through him with so much hatred.
“What people?” He still pretended as though he didn’t know what you were talking about and it only worsened your anger.
“You know exactly what I’m talking about. Don’t act so innocent,” you hissed at him sharply, your patience reaching its limit.
“Do you mean Christian Yu?”
You didn’t answer. You owed him nothing.
“So the rumours are true? You’re actually dating him?”
“It doesn’t matter. I can’t believe you’re using your position to step on people. You used to take your job and your music seriously. But I guess now it’s just a medium for you to screw over people and get some kind of ego boost from it.” You wanted your words to hurt him like he did you. But not once did he lose his calm.
“You know he’s using you, right?“
“Maybe I’m letting him use me,” you retorted childishly.
“You’re gonna get hurt.“
“In case you forgot, Kiseok, you were the one who hurt me.“
“Minhee, I made a mistake and I apologized over and over again. But you won’t even hear me out,” his voice softened so did the expression on his face. But it didn’t matter what he say, you wouldn’t believe him anyway.
“You wanna talk about it? Ok, let’s talk about it. Was it good? Did she satisfy your needs? Was she better than me?” You tried to provoke him.
“That’s not fair.”
“Kiseok, you fucked her. You did it multiple times. All the while you were pretending to be the oh so perfect boyfriend.”
“I didn’t do it, because I stopped loving you. I was stupid. I felt lonely. You were never there. We barely saw each other. I was craving intimacy and she just happened to be there,” he attempted to explain his behavior.
“So, it’s my fault now? It’s my fault that you went out and cheated on me instead of talking about the problems I didn’t even know we were having like grown ups do? You really wanna turn it around and blame it on me?” You stared at him in disbelief. Out of all things he had said this felt like a slap across your face. All the sacrifices you had made for him, they were all for nothing. They meant nothing at all.
“No, it’s not your fault. I screwed up. I made a mistake and I’m owning up to it, but I never stopped loving you.You were always the one. I just…I felt incredibly lonely. And it just felt like I was putting more into this relationship than you were.”
“In what world? You know I would have done anything for you!“ You shouted at him. Your anger taking control of you. You had sacrificed so much for this relationship. You had put his needs over yours, again and again to the point you closest friends described you as a fool. Because there was not a single thing in the world that you wouldn’t have done for him. You had put so much effort and energy it in and it appeared to be all in vain. He didn’t even appreciate anything you had done for him.
“Your job seemed to be more important than me.”
“What the hell are you on? I’ve turned so many job offers down for you because I wanted to stay in Seoul with you. I could be working with the biggest companies in the world right now, but I’m not, because our relationship was more important to me. Because you were more important to me. I never chose my career over you.”
“You were working nonstop, Minhee. You always had a new project going on and we didn’t even see each other anymore.”
“I was trying to build something for myself. Something that I could be proud of. Something that I could call my own. I wanted to be able to stand on my own and not always be introduced as Simon D’s girlfriend.“
“What are you talking about?”
“Kiseok, you know exactly what everyone was saying about us ‘that I was using you, that I was a gold digger, and that I wasn’t worthy to be your girlfriend and that you could do so much better than that’.”
Of course no one would ever tell this to your face. But they did talk behind your back. You weren’t pretty enough. You weren’t smart enough. You weren’t successful enough.
“Minhee, I didn’t know it bothered you that much. You never told me,” he eyes softened at you and you saw the guilt written all over his face.
“Because it wasn’t your fault. I didn’t want you to feel bad for what other people were saying and thinking.”
“If I knew, I—.“
“You wouldn’t have slept with her?” You cut him off sharply, because you didn’t want to listen to his excuses and apologies any longer. “But you did. You did on your own account, so stop blaming it on me or on her, or whatsoever. At least she had the decency to come clean.“
“She only did it to turn you against me. I ended things with her that’s why she went to you. Because she knew you were the most important thing in the world to me.“
“I don’t care what her motivation was. At least she was honest. You played me for a fool, lied and deceived.“
“What I did, I did because of my own insecurities, but I always loved you and I still love you.“
„Too bad your words don’t mean shit anymore.“
~*~
[Time leap]
“Hey, what are you doing here?” A smile appeared on your lips, albeit being confused by his sudden appearance. You just went through your schedule for the day with your assistant and you were pretty sure you didn’t have an appointment with him today. But it was nice to see a friendly face amid a stressful day at work.
“Your assistant let me in,“ he answered shortly, his voice sounding rather rigid.
“Do you want to sit down? Anything to drink?” You offered politely, a habit of yours every time someone came into your office.
“No, this is gonna be quick, but I wanted to ask you this face to face.”
“Ask me what?” You blinked at him confused.
“The project with Simon D fell through. Did you say anything to him?“
“Are you serious?” You let out a scoff in disbelief that such a ridiculous thought was even crossing his mind. You were the last person who would sabotage his career.
“I mean…you weren’t really fond of it. You were trying to talk me out of it,“ he stammered under his breath, his voice becoming a whisper as though he had lost confidence in what he was saying.
“Yes! Because Kiseok was using you to get back at me. I just wanted to keep you out of it.”
“Did you talk to him, or did you not?“
“Yes, I talked to him. But I didn’t tell him to kill the project. He never planned to go through with it in the first place,” you tried to justify your actions.
“You promised me you wouldn’t meddle in this.“
“I know and I’m sorry. But this wasn’t even about you. It was about Kiseok and me.”
“You guys are unbelievable,” he shook his head in disappointment. “You’re behaving like high schoolers. It might just be a game to you, but it’s not to me. I actually worked hard for this and sacrificed a whole lot.”
“It’s not a game to me. I didn’t want any of this. I tried to warn you, Christian, but you wouldn’t listen.“
”Why do you think he did that?“
“I don’t know? Maybe he wanted to get back at me. Maybe he wanted to drive away the only person I could talk to right now? I don’t know, I don’t know what’s going on in his sick mind.“
“Are you really that blind, Minhee? He desperately trying to cling on to you. He obviously still has feelings for you which he tries to prove in some sick way. And you’re still in love with him, so instead of behaving like kids, just go and talk it out.”
“I’m not in love with him anymore,” you denied firmly.
“Really? So you jumping in bed with me was not an attempt to distract yourself?”
“I thought you would be the last person to hold that against me,” you stared at him in disbelief.
“You know what? I’m done with this. I don’t have the time and energy for this. You guys figure things out on your own. I don’t wanna stand in the middle of it,” he turned around and grabbed the door handle.
Surprise, surprise!
The ex has been revealed...what do y’all think?
Sorry for being so MIA. I’ll answer all the asks I have in my inbox later. Thank you soooo much for all the support! I really appreciate it! One of the reasons I came back. I hope you liked this chapter, let me know what you think!! :)
[Edit] Just out of curiosity, are you guys team Ian or team Simon D? hahahah
#christian yu#christian you scenarios#dpr#christian yu imagine#khiphop scenarios#khiphop imagines#getting off the wrong foot
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A sacred Tree
and more significantly, the sacred Body it held that consummated an act of grace for all to see.
to come to “believe...” in the True illumination of the Son
Today’s reading of the Scriptures from the New Testament is chapter 15 in the book of Mark:
When morning came, the chief priests met in council with all the Jewish leaders. They bound Jesus, led Him away, and turned Him over to the Roman governor, Pilate.
Pilate (after hearing them): Are You the King of the Jews?
Jesus: You have said so.
The chief priests went on to accuse Jesus of many things, but Jesus simply stood quietly.
Pilate: Do You have anything to say? How do You respond to all these charges that have been made against You?
But Jesus said nothing more, and Pilate was astonished.
Now it was his custom at that feast that Pilate should release one prisoner from custody, whomever the people most desired. There was one rebel from those imprisoned for insurrection against the Roman occupation. He had committed murder during an uprising. His name was Barabbas. A crowd had gathered in front of Pilate’s judgment seat to request that Pilate follow his usual custom.
Pilate turned to them.
Pilate: Why don’t I release to you the King of the Jews?
He knew that the chief priests had delivered Jesus because they were threatened by Him, not because Jesus was a criminal.
But priests moved among the crowd and persuaded them to call for Barabbas instead.
Pilate: Then what do you want me to do with the King of the Jews?
Crowd: Crucify Him, crucify Him!
But now he called to them.
Pilate: Why? What has He done to deserve such a sentence?
Crowd (crying all the louder): Crucify Him, crucify Him!
When Pilate saw that he could not persuade the crowd to change its mind, he released Barabbas to them and had Jesus publicly whipped, which was the normal prelude to crucifixion. Then he had Jesus led away to be crucified. The soldiers took Him into the headquarters of the governor; and the rest of the soldiers in the detachment gathered there, hundreds of them. They put a purple robe on Him and made a crown of thorns that they forced onto His head, and they began to cry out in mock salute.
Soldiers: Hail to the King of the Jews!
For a long while they beat Him on the head with a reed, spat upon Him, and knelt down as if to honor Him. When they had finished mocking Him, they stripped off His purple robe and put His own clothes back on Him. Then they took Him away to be executed.
Along the way, they met a man from Cyrene, Simon (the father of Rufus and Alexander), who was coming in from the fields; and they ordered him to carry the heavy crossbar of the cross. And so they came at last to the execution site, a hill called Golgotha, which means the “Place of a Skull.”
The soldiers offered Jesus wine mixed with myrrh to dull His pain, but He refused it. And so they crucified Him, divided up His clothes, and cast lots (an ancient equivalent of rolling dice) to see who would keep the clothes they had stripped from Him.
His crucifixion began about nine o’clock in the morning. Over His head hung a sign that indicated the charge for which He was being crucified. It read, “THE KING OF THE JEWS.” On either side of Him were two insurgents who also had received the death penalty. [And the Hebrew Scripture was completed that said, “He was considered just another criminal.”]
Those passing by on their way into or out of Jerusalem insulted and ridiculed Him.
Some in the Crowd: So You’re the One who was going to destroy the temple and rebuild it in three days? Well, if You’re so powerful, then why don’t You rescue Yourself? Come on down from the cross!
Chief Priests and Scribes (mocking Jesus among themselves): He rescued others, but He can’t rescue Himself. Let the Anointed—the King of Israel—come down from the cross now, and we will see it and believe.
Even the insurgents who were being crucified next to Him taunted Him and reviled Him.
At noon, the day suddenly darkened for three hours across the entire land. Sometime around three o’clock Jesus called out in a loud voice.
Jesus: Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?
Jesus was speaking, as in the psalms, “My God, My God, why have You turned Your back on Me?”
Some of those standing nearby misunderstood Him.
Bystanders: Hey, He’s calling for Elijah.
One of them filled a sponge with wine that had turned to vinegar and lifted it to Jesus’ lips on a stick so He could drink.
Bystander: Let’s see if Elijah will come to take Him down.
Then Jesus cried out with a loud voice, and He took His last breath.
At that moment, the curtain in the temple was torn in two from top to bottom.
The Roman Centurion, the soldier in charge of the executions, stood in front of Jesus, [heard His words,] and saw the manner of His death.
Centurion: Surely this man was the Son of God!
Off in the distance, away from the crowds, stood some women who knew and had followed Jesus, including Mary Magdalene and Mary the mother of the younger James, Joses, and Salome. These were women who used to care for Him when He was in Galilee, and many other women who had followed Jesus to Jerusalem joined them.
Evening came. The crucifixion had taken place on preparation day, Friday, before the Jewish Sabbath began at sundown. Joseph of Arimathea, a member of the ruling council who was also a believer anxiously waiting for the kingdom of God, went to Pilate and boldly asked for the body of Jesus.
Pilate could not believe Jesus was already dead, so he sent for the Centurion, who confirmed it. Then Pilate gave Joseph permission to take the body.
Joseph had the body wrapped in a linen burial cloth he had purchased and laid Him in a tomb that had been carved out of rock. Then he had a stone rolled over the opening to seal it. Mary Magdalene and Mary the mother of Joses were watching as the body was interred.
The Book of Mark, Chapter 15 (The Voice)
Today’s paired chapter of the Testaments is the 7th chapter of the book of Job continuing with Job’s lament:
Job: Don’t we humans struggle long and hard in our time on earth?
Don’t we live our lives as common laborers?
As slaves longing for shade,
as workers pining for wages,
So I am destined to receive only months of meaninglessness,
and nights of nothing but misery.
When I lie down at the end of day, I wonder,
“How soon till morning so I can arise?”
But the night stretches on,
and I toss and turn until sunrise.
My putrid skin is covered with maggots and a dirty crust.
It hardens and cracks and oozes again.
My days whisk by swifter than the shuttle in a weaver’s loom—
back and forth, and back and forth—
and then they come to their hopeless end.
My life, remember, is just a breath;
in death no more good will reach my eye.
Whoever sees me now, will not for long;
you’ll look for me, but I’ll be gone.
As clouds thin and finally vanish,
so it is when people enter the land of the dead.
Never will they come back up.
Never will they return to their homes
or will the place they lived recognize them anymore.
Like Eliphaz, I will not keep silent.
In the agony of my spirit, I will speak;
In the bitterness of my soul, I will complain.
Am I the raging sea, or the monster of the deep,
so threatening you must appoint a guard over me?
When I think my couch will comfort me
or my bed will soften my complaint,
You, Lord, intimidate me with dreams
and terrorize me with visions.
I’d rather be suffocated, even dead,
than live in these aching bones of mine.
Job: I hate my life. I have no desire to keep on living.
Leave me alone, God, for I have only a short time left.
What are these human beings, that You make so much of them—
that You shower them with attention?
You examine them morning by morning;
You test them moment by moment.
How long will You stare at me?
I can’t even clear my throat of spit without an audience.
I have sinned. What have I done to You,
You who watch after humanity?
Why have You targeted me, a man whose life is just a breath?
Am I really such a heavy load for You?
So I’ve sinned inadvertently: can’t You pardon me?
Are my crimes such You can’t forgive my sins?
After all, I will lie in the dust, and it won’t be long
until You will look for me, but I’ll be gone.
The Book of Job, Chapter 7 (The Voice)
my personal reading of the Scriptures for Wednesday, April 14 of 2021 with a paired chapter from each Testament of the Bible, along with Today’s Psalms and Proverbs
A post by John Parsons about finding inner peace amidst all that this world is:
When we undergo affliction, we often cannot discern its deeper purpose because the pain pulls us back to the present moment... The hidden blessing of affliction (ברכה סוֹדית) is only perceived later, in hindsight, where we discover a deeper longing for heaven has been instilled within our souls. Affliction helps us become more willing to let go of our attachments to this world; it teaches us to look upward, for the high country of heavenly consolation. The pleasures and expectations of this world distract our hearts from what we most need, and our troubles and afflictions therefore open us to the truth of God.
When we genuinely accept that God defines the truth for our lives, we realize that affliction is sovereignly given to us so that we can learn abide in Him without constraint. Life is a “school” for the soul. God is the Teacher, we are “disciples” (i.e., talmidim: תַּלְמִידִים, “learners”), and affliction is our divinely appointed tutor. Many of us are slow to learn, but God is patient with those whom He disciplines. The goal is to never lose sight of what's most important, which is God Himself. If you find yourself in a place of resistance, then you must decide whether or not you will trust the Teacher. The key lies in surrendering to God's will by submitting to His rule over all things. Yielding to God's will is the path of serenity and inner peace. [Hebrew for Christians]
4.14.21 • Facebook
Today’s message from the Institute for Creation Research
April 14, 2021
Inspiration
“All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness.” (2 Timothy 3:16)
The Bible insists its writers were supernaturally influenced by God to such an extent that their words were given divine accuracy. The unique word translated “inspiration” in our text could be rendered “God blowing” or “God puffing.” Peter speaks of “holy men of God” who “spake” as they were moved by the Holy Spirit (2 Peter 1:21). David was conscious that his own “tongue” was speaking words that the Holy Spirit of the Lord gave him (2 Samuel 23:2). Jeremiah was given audible instruction and told to reproduce those words precisely (Jeremiah 30:1-2; 26:2), as was Isaiah (Isaiah 6:8-10), who clearly knew he was being controlled by God (Isaiah 59:21).
These are samplings of some 2,600 claims in the Old Testament for direct inspiration of the text of Scripture. God used several methods to make sure that His Word was “puffed” out, and on one occasion even wrote them with His own finger on tables of stone—twice (Exodus 31:18; 34:1). Those words were not only inspired but inscribed!
The writings of the 27 books of the New Testament are also full of declarations of God’s personal inspiration of the words. Jesus claimed to speak only what God the Father instructed Him to say (John 12:46-50). Paul knew he was given revelation (Ephesians 3:3-4) and insisted on equivalent standing with God’s commands (1 Thessalonians 2:13). Peter demanded remembrance of the apostles’ teachings (2 Peter 3:1-4, 15-16), John insisted on the accuracy of what he shared (1 John 1:1-3), and Jude verified the words of the other apostles (Jude 1:3, 17).
It seems we are confronted with an all-or-nothing proposition. Either all Scripture is inspired or none of it is. HMM III
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Autoboyography by Christina Lauren (★★★★★)
contemporary romance | 416 pages | Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers | September 12, 2017 | goodreads | amazon
Three years ago, Tanner Scott’s family relocated from California to Utah, a move that nudged the bisexual teen temporarily back into the closet. Now, with one semester of high school to go, and no obstacles between him and out-of-state college freedom, Tanner plans to coast through his remaining classes and clear out of Utah.
But when his best friend Autumn dares him to take Provo High’s prestigious Seminar—where honor roll students diligently toil to draft a book in a semester—Tanner can’t resist going against his better judgment and having a go, if only to prove to Autumn how silly the whole thing is. Writing a book in four months sounds simple. Four months is an eternity.
It turns out, Tanner is only partly right: four months is a long time. After all, it takes only one second for him to notice Sebastian Brother, the Mormon prodigy who sold his own Seminar novel the year before and who now mentors the class. And it takes less than a month for Tanner to fall completely in love with him.
“His smile ruins me. The feeling makes me uneasy, a dramatic lurch that tells me I need to have him or I won’t be okay.”
Okay, this book was unexpectedly incredible - adorable, with a wonderfully-written romance and an exploration of some very heavy topics without being too heavy itself. I'm not keenon books with white gay cis boys (who, let's be real, get so much attention in media), but the book was free and ready to be read, so I checked it out, and I am so glad I did so, because I think it was one of my favourite romances of the year.
I really loved Tanner. He was SO EMBARRASSING. I had my face buried in my hands ON PUBLIC TRANSIT because the second-hand embarrassment was almost too much to take. He is a flawed teenager who makes so many mistakes, and yes, I got angry at him at some points in the book. Tanner was raised with a particular worldview and he can be kind of narrow minded because of it. But for the most part, he was pretty lovable. His relationship with Autumn was really good and sweet; I really loved their friendship. They were so close and are honestly friendship goals; teenagers in YA who know how to communicate! And SEBASTIAN. I didn't know this would be a T.A./student romance going into it, so I'd say be cognizant if you're uncomfortable with that, but they're both adults and Sebastian is only a year older than Tanner, so I was into it once I figured out that Tanner was 18.
The romance between Tanner and Sebastian was like, ridiculously well-written. Yes, a bit cliche and definite insta-love was going on there, admittedly, but honestly. T.A./student romance, you'd expect it to be a bit clichey. And I'm a bit more willing to let insta-love slide when it's an LGBT romance, but I think Christina Lauren did a really good job of developing their relationship and getting to know each other outside the basal attraction part as well. The romantic tension was amazing; basically, these two boys were precious and so real and learning to navigate uncharted territory. I would love to protect Sebastian from everything.
Because Autoboyography does deal with the intersection of religion and sexuality, and Mormonism is rather less understood than Christianity and somewhat more hostile to LGBTQ people (which is the subject of most books which deal with both topics). I feel like - even though Tanner did have some preconceptions - Mormonism was treated with respect and I learned a lot about it. Tanner did learn to respect the church and its importance in Sebastian's life, but it's recognized that it does have problems, but it didn't end completely on a sour note. Watching Sebastian go through coming out was heartbreaking, though, especially seen from the point of view of Tanner, who's openly bisexual. I loved Tanner's parents though and how embarrassingly proud they were of his bisexuality. And I loved how Tanner was so comfortable in his bisexuality. The bi rep in this one was SO GOOD; my bisexual self is singing its praises.
All in all, this was a very fluffy read that does have its heavy parts, and if you're looking for a very well-written m/m romance, this is the book you want.
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One day into this and I’m already behind ...
Where did the day go? So much for taking this opportunity to build in some writing discipline into my life. I actually have a Masters of Fine Arts in Creative Writing (Antioch University -- Los Angeles, 2017). It started out as “an external goal” in 2015, something to try after we moved as empty-nesters up to Washington State from Santa Cruz. The program is “low residency,” meaning it is mostly online. I had had a few stories published already, so I had reason to think it was doable. I like story-telling. I like writing. What I discovered was that, while I have some writing competency, I don’t exactly have a passion for it.
Here is one of the CNF essays from my official portfolio to amuse you until I compose a more heartfelt and informative post for tomorrow … er, I mean, today … um. You know what I mean.
-=-=-=-
Sister Clorina, Saint Blaise and Doubting Thomas by Jean Tschohl Quinn
It can take years to come to an understanding about something. Alternatively, an understanding can barrel into consciousness like a grand and glorious epiphanic elephant. Sometimes, both happens. I love paradox. I adore the celestial AND. It is in this sort of epiphany, decades in the making, that I found Bahá'u'lláh.
Sister Clorina hated me. No. That’s too strong. She simply did not like any girls not named Mary. She didn’t like me in particular because she had suddenly been “demoted” to second grade from fourth grade where my sister Mary was -- sweet, clever, pious and faithful. How could I compete? My best friend then was named Mary too. Mary Wirhanowicz was also sweet, clever, pious and faithful. I hold no grudge against the average Mary. They’ve got the whole Blessed Virgin Mother expectation thing to deal with and had no choice in the matter because that was their collective given name. It is, apparently, a lot of pressure. There is the occasional exception of the BVM standard when there are multiple Marys in a single classroom. Some of them get an out if they had, say, a younger sibling who called them something else and the teacher approved for clarity’s sake. One of my grandmothers was one of those. There were several Mary’s in her one-room schoolhouse in Nova Scotia. Her younger brothers and sisters called her Mayme already and so she was dubbed in the classroom and life in general. To this day, I consider her the sanest person I’ve ever met. However, in my second grade classroom, Sister Clorina felt she had reason to suspect me as nefarious. First, I was not named Mary. Second, I was “philosophical.”
Her move down to second grade was precipitated by Sister Marie Madison’s hasty withdrawal from the convent life after only a month with our class. We were informed that we had simply “driven her crazy.” Mea culpa. Mea culpa. Mea maxima culpa. (That’s not quite accurate; it was post-Vatican-II. We didn’t actually learn any Latin.) The girls of the class all knew the blame rested solely on the antics of Vince Wederath, Brian Doherty, and Eddie Marx. They were the bad boys. Maybe Tim Relihan too. We were sure of it. Twelve or so years after the fact, I bumped into Eddie on a bus as I headed home from college for a weekend of free laundry and food. He was still proud of his part in the good sister’s loss of faith. We choose our triumphs; this apparently was one of Eddie’s.
Sister Clorina emanated a stern energy. I cannot tell you whether she was tall or short from my second-grader memory, but I do recall her immense energy. Sometimes, she’d fill in on the organ at Mass when the ridiculously cherubic Sister Acquitaine was overwrought or under the weather. Sister Acquitaine was the music teacher. She felt my brother Kevin’s musical talent was extraordinary -- it is – and so she kept him in at recess for violin lessons because we already had a violin that Grampa Hanson had picked up at St. Vinnie’s for $7 in 1967. Kevin did not like missing recess. He abandoned the violin at his earliest possible convenience. I still have and play that violin, mainly because no one else had a use for it. I have always felt that I have a right only to that which is of no use to anyone else. It’s a youngest child thing. In second grade, I even went so far as to claim my favorite color as moss green because I felt sorry for it.
In any case, Sister Clorina as a substitute organist kept the tempo “up” much to the consternation of the older folks. My family liked it that way; it was zippy. She would shout over her shoulder, “Hymn number 8.” Only I thought she was saying “Hit number 8” like Casey Kasem might, so I thought we were going to sing Winchester Cathedral or Last Train to Clarksville depending on the week. I somehow knew never to expect Wild Thing.
I had high hopes as Sister Clorina glowered over us in the hall outside the classroom. I reached for her hand, trying to be the brown-noser I knew myself to be. She sniffed and tucked her arm inside her surplus. Her disdain for me was immediate.
First grade had been a long line of substitute teachers after Mrs. Conti-Morgan left to give birth after an entirely crabby last month. She and Mrs. Lambert, a squat dynamic storyteller, in the fifth grade were the only lay teachers in the school. Second grade looked like the beginning of a whole new world. I was finally going to be close enough to a nun to touch one.
After Sister Marie Madison bailed on us in the second-grade, I suspect Sister Clorina took the move from her already beloved fourth grade class to our clearly evil second grade as a demotion. The smaller four and fifth grade classes would be combined with the incredible Mrs. Lambert at the helm. My sister Mary was immediately named co-chair with Mrs. Lambert of their mutual admiration society. Mary has that mysterious charm that immediately made her teacher’s pet. Every time.
My year with Sister Clorina should have been a good one. She did Science. We studied the classic simple machines: lever, incline plane, screw, pulley, wedge, and wheel and axle. She even pointed out that a screw is really just an incline plane wrapped around a pivot point. This was good stuff. We learned about meteorology and taxonomy. Why wasn’t it working? For one thing, she had no joy once Mary Wirhanowicz got really sick and was gone for weeks. I brought homework to Mary and back to school regularly. Did I get any credit for helping the BVM wannabe? No I did not. Looking for credit is always a sure way to not get any. I was dead last in the rankings of teacher’s pet, even behind Renee Kucze and she NEVER adhered to the dress code.
Mary eventually recovered and returned to class. My only hope was merit by association. No luck. Christmas rolled around and the requisite study of the Nativity. We learned about the Magi, those astrologers from the East. The question was obvious, so I asked it, “If they understood how important Jesus was before He was even born, shouldn’t we be studying their Religion?” Sister Clorina never called on me again.
Second grade crawled on. I was dying to ask about the blessing of the throats on Saint Blaise Day, February 3, but I couldn’t ask Sister Clorina. I thought the hubbub was kind of cool -- how we’d line up and have blest candles criss-crossed about our necks with a little prayer for health offered – but still didn’t understand it. My mom, who was much more informed and cynical than I could have realized then, knew a little about it. One of the miracles attributed to Saint Blaise was miraculously saving someone from choking. His “day” was the day after Candlemas, February 2, when families traditionally brought in all their candles to be sanctified.
“While this is completely pointless in the 20th century,” she postulated, “imagine what candles meant to a family three hundred, five hundred, seven hundred years ago.” Having them blest would be a prudent gesture to Christians throughout Old Europe and the Byzantine Empire, she hoped I would agree. In my limited comprehension, however, I continued to attempt reconciliation of all of this with Groundhog Day. Maybe the flicker of candles cast interesting shadows on any groundhogs popping out of holes on the same day.
By Lent, I knew better than to ask questions. During the required Tuesday-after-school Stations of the Cross, I languished with questions. It’s not three days between the afternoon of Good Friday and dawn of Easter Sunday. It’s two. Much later, I learned that the Jewish day starts at sundown, so it was definitely only two days. I did not dare ask. And the renaming of Simon to Peter, the rock. What was that about? That was a whole lot of palaver over one little verse and the power that Saul/Paul grabbed anyway. I didn’t get it and couldn’t ask.
At Pentecost, I remember sitting amiably in the pew, gently kicking at the kneeler after the Gospel Reading, followed by a rambling homily about Doubting Thomas. He misses a visit from the post-Resurrection Christ and demands physical proof. Christ does come to revisit and offers Thomas a chance to “probe the nail holes.” Thomas believes even though there’s no record of him poking his fingers anywhere – seriously not in a single one of the four Gospels -- just being with Him again is sufficient. Christ then adds “blessed are they that have not seen but still believe.”
Yes, I committed to myself – kick, kick, kick -- I will never be like Doubting Thomas, needing proof like that. To this day, I have never witnessed any firsthand wowza moment. Some friends of mine have hosted these remarkable, spiritual ongoing events where miracles of joy, epiphany and synchronicity are a regular occurrence for years. Long-lost friends reunite. Extraordinary fund-raising. Mysterious healings. You name it. Whenever I show up, it’s invariably an “off night.” My friend who has witnessed it all invariably shrugs and says, “I don’t know what happened this time. Maybe it was the traffic.” I trust their reality. I have to, because I wasn’t there.
I was still mindlessly kicking the kneeler. Why didn’t they recognize Christ as Jesus when meeting Him after the Resurrection? Seriously, they don’t recognize Him at first. Why would that be? What was the big deal about a physical resurrection anyway? The Old Testament was full of them. I could get the importance of a spiritual one – I thought: Peter … Rock … denied Him and the hiding … rock rolled away … blah, blah, blah … Didn’t Jesus call His followers His body? I was not about to ask questions. The symbolism worked so much better than literal story. Don’t ask; don’t tell. Just get through second grade.
By the end of that year, Father Podolak, that gentle, rambling soul who would eventually preside over my wedding years later, announced that the school would be closing at June. My sister and I were devastated. My brothers and older sisters were already going off to junior high and senior high school, mercifully saved from attending more Catholic school by the cost of tuition times six. Mary and I lay in bed with the blankets kicked off, feeling entombed by the muggy heaviness of Wisconsin in the summer bemoaning our fate, a public school education with their loose morals and strange ways. Of this we were sure. No potentially free music lessons from Sister Acquitaine; no exciting tales about WWI in Italy from Mrs. Lambert; no stern preparation for junior high from Sister Rhodelia whose great contribution to our family was her encouragement to my parents that my shy, nervous, older sister Jackie would achieve every regular thing, just in her own time. We were off to public school and weekly Catholic CCD (Confraternity of Christian Doctrine. I kid you not).
How wrong we were! At the public school, we got free music lessons on any instrument we chose from hip young musicians; one for band instruments, the other for strings (my choice, obviously). And Mrs. Grossman taught us singing. She really liked how Mary (either one) and I sang together. By the following Christmas, my sister now a fifth grader and I a third grader sang in front of an audience of hundreds a harmonized duet of Mel Torme’s A Christmas Song. Afterwards Brian Doherty spoke directly to me, probably the only time he ever did, “You have guts. Double guts.” Respect. I don’t remember seeing him after that.
We also had a regular dedicated art teacher, Miss Sanford. She got a nose job the following summer and nobody recognized her when she returned. The best part was, my third grade teacher, Miss Nawrocki. She looked like a Barbie doll. She wore wigs of different colors and lengths. She got married halfway through the year and became Mrs. Raniewicz. Dang. We had just conquered spelling capital-N A W R O C K I. She directed a class musical. I had lunch with her a couple of years ago. She is still awesome, although significantly shorter than I thought. Public school was fine. Better than fine. It was great. To heck with you, Sister Clorina.
Around ninth grade, Confirmation rolled around. It was time for me to publicly commit to God and His Church, whatever that meant. Among the somewhat arbitrary options for going through a Catholic Confirmation is taking a new name. It has little or no intrinsic meaning within Western cultures, but the vestigial tradition hangs on. My 15-year-old self was interested in saving the world by becoming a medical doctor – didn’t happen: boys, booze, and a reading disability derailed that vague idea during the first semester of college – so I chose the name “Blaise” as my Confirmation name. I had mistakenly thought he was the patron saint of physicians. I was a piss-poor researcher back then too. So many of his miracles had to do with healing, particularly having to do with throat ailments and choking. Who am I kidding? I claimed the name Blaise because the choice was due the week after the whole Candlemas/Saint Blaise weirdness -- exactly forty days after Christmas. What was this thing with forty days anyway? Noah in the Ark, Jesus in the desert, Buddha under the Bodi Tree, the Prophet Mohammad in a cave. There’s Lent. There are periods of mourning, of fasting or of thanksgiving in most belief systems.
In any case, my choice of Blaise, a male name, upset a fair few people, so I had to write a couple of letters to some persnickety council of some kind. The request was okayed … with reservations. The actual Confirmation was forgettable other than choir director being in a car accident on the way there, so the choir – which included my mother, my sister Mary, Mary Wirhanowicz and me – had to wing it.
“So why was the name Blaise so important to you?” Father Podolak asked me months later.
“Well, if this spirituality stuff doesn’t work out, ‘Blaze’ is a good name for a stripper.” The words were out of my mouth before I ran them through my brain. I kept walking.
The next time I saw Fr. P, he said, “Jean, do you know how we make holy water?”
“You bless it?” I stammered.
“No, you boil the Hell out of it.” He smiled apologetically and gently clarified, “That was a joke.”
I chatted with a priest at a wedding I was hired to sing for a few years later, I mentioned the parish I grew up in. The priest said, “Ah! Bill Podolak, a kind man.”
“Yes, indeed.” I was running out of things to say.
“… not a dynamic speaker.”
“No, indeed.” We laughed, all too cruelly I believe.
In spite of my bad research skills, Saint Blaise continues to intrigue me. Having been martyred by being beaten to death with iron combs used for wool combing and carding, Saint Blaise has since been associated with any trade having to do with wool since the Middle Ages, not the healing arts. So, after all the hubbub about me picking a male saint’s name, perhaps it works for me. After all, what is my essay-writing but glorified wool-gathering?
The year after my Confirmation, I lived in Tunisia through a foreign exchange program the same summer that Monty Python’s Flying Circus filmed Life of Brian a mere 100 kilometers away. I did not find out until just after my return to the US, by watching an episode of Saturday Night Live hosted by Eric Idle. His monologue was about the long, sad love songs Tunisians sing with such relish and the ubiquity of jasmine there. Mr. Idle’s monologue went over like a fart in church as the saying goes. My family, however, laughed spasmodically as they recalled the similar stories from my letters home. Dad with his ever-present bowl of popcorn balanced on his chest, fell off the couch chortling. Mr. Idle’s underappreciated monologue notwithstanding, my summer in Tunisia changed my perceptions of just about everything. I had lived with a Moslem family in a Moslem neighborhood in a Moslem village. They valued education and kindness, respect and humor, the individual and the collective. The child peeking out of the doorway to see the American girl may have looked like an advertisement for C.A.R.E., but I came to know that her family loved her abundantly, fed her regularly if frugally, and had dreams and hopes for her. Neshua, the daughter of my host family closest to my age, and I were invited to several homes. Some of those invitations were offered because I was a curiosity to the village. In most of the humbler homes, there was a carpet in the works, a large frame taking up a wall in their main living space. A color plot hung taped to one of the loom’s posts. I learned to knot and trim the wool according to the plot, to shift the heddle and weft shuttle, to tamp work with the kleleh to compact the threads. We sat together, partly in fellowship, partly to contribute to the household. One little girl elbowed her way next to me knotting two to my one and announce that she would teach me the Arabic alphabet. “C’est très important” for me to learn how to read Arabic. I never did, except for “Coca-Cola” which I suspect had more to do with it being on large red billboards.
I was quite full of myself. Eventually the lessons of that summer, about the oneness of Religion, not the Arabic alphabet, sunk in. No longer would the coat of we’re-right/they’re-wrong Christianity fit me properly.
Eventually, I was off to college where at some point I made out with a guy who decided to become a priest. I think there may be something more to process about that. Maybe not. I ended up eventually working in Washington DC and met my future husband Mike at a Trivial Pursuit party in the apartment complex we both lived in. We were both Arabic-speaking (although mine was pretty patchy), left-handed (which has its own complications in Middle Eastern countries), green-eyed Catholics. It was Kismet. Oh, and we both preferred to drink milk with pizza. Like I said, Kismet. We went through all the Catholic wedding hoops and started our family when I got pushed onto a spiritual journey by a couple of Jehovah’s Witnesses. While the JW logic never worked for me, I will forever be grateful to Betty and LaVonne for starting me on the journey. Here I will skip chapters full of synchronicities that only Baha’is would find amusing, we attended some meetings referred to as Firesides after moving to San Jose, California a few years later.
The speaker one evening expounded on the subject of Progressive Revelation. In brief, Progressive Revelation encompasses the idea that Religion is unfolding over time as humanity becomes ready for a fuller understanding of the true nature of Reality. The speaker went on to offer examples of how Judaism begot Christianity and primarily affected Europe in its initial reach and development. Likewise, Hinduism begot Buddhism which moved out to Asia. Islam is also Abrahamic but was couched in Zoroastrian customs as well. It spread into North Africa, the Middle East, Oceania. The Baha’i Faith was revealed just as the world needed to start thinking globally, in the mid-19th century. Any corruption of Religion has to do with mankind messing with it, not with the purity of the original Message. This made some sense to me, but I didn’t know anything about Zoroaster. The speaker recognized my raised eyebrow-of-confusion and explained.
The moment the speaker explained that the primary understanding of Zoroastrianism in the West would be the Zodiac. He also mentioned that the priesthood was referred to as the Magi, as in the “astrologers from the East.” In that moment, all the disparate thoughts from the time I was seven onward coalesced in my mind’s eye like a jigsaw puzzle completing itself. I wiggled in my seat in excitement, trying not to disturb the tiny middle-aged woman of Asian descent or the black man next to me who had fallen asleep. He was snoring full out and no one was perturbed by it. His wife, a white woman at least a head taller than he was, later explained that he had had a stroke during brain surgery a few years before and often fell asleep. The oneness of God, the oneness of Humanity, the oneness of Religion all made sense to me. In that blink of an eye, I saw the interlocking of fact and legend, of the Magi and the Baby, of tradition and skepticism. I was back with Sister Clorina, Saint Blaise, and my family in Tunisia.
It was both in an instant and over the course of my lifetime up to that point that I came to this understanding. A few weeks after that night, Mike and I together declared our Faith in Bahá'u'lláh, that is to say, became adherents to the Baha'i Faith. We have found our lives infinitely richer because of that choice, so have our children (so they tell me). It is not easy to always keep in mind that each and every person that exists or did exist or will exist is unique and beloved by God, or that our individual Free Wills can send us in all different directions, or that "This is the changeless Faith of God, eternal in the past, eternal in the future" as Bahá'u'lláh says. In fact, it's mostly challenging. Building Heaven on Earth is not for sissies. However, I know it is the right thing for me to pursue.
I still do not get my faith confirmed by fantastical measures. I’d love to see a crowd of people collectively gung their foreheads with the heels of their hands that the oneness of Humanity is a fact and the work it will take for every person to feel loved and beloved as the family we are will be worth the effort and sacrifice. I’d love to see someone healed miraculously. I still get the sense that I won't ever witness events like that first hand.
Occasionally, I do witness people who die with grace or see a smile generated from a purely motivated kindness perpetrated on an unsuspecting grump. It is things like that -- tiny, lovely indications that my spiritual path is worth toddling upon – with which I chose to be satisfied. I promised myself so long ago that it would be enough.
Sister Clorina was only in my life for six months over fifty years ago. She still pops into my head, usually when I am accused of being “too sensitive” about something. I’d love to prove to you that she’s not important to me now, but you’ll just have to take that on faith.
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How to Plant a Church
Why People Fear to Start Churches
Many people are afraid of starting a church because they do not know how to pioneer new work. The art of beginning a church is the art of witnessing, following-up and gathering sheep together. You do not need to break up someone else's church to begin your own! How would you feel if someone was building his house next to yours and decided to break down your house to get some blocks for his? That is madness!
Unfortunately, this seems to be the only way that some people feel they can start a church. From today, do not be afraid of starting out in an honourable way. If God has really spoken to you, it will succeed!
Count the Cost
For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost…
Luke 14:28
Carefully consider the implications of starting a church. It is not going to be easy! Not many people want to identify with a small thing. I learnt many years ago that there are two types of people in the world. There are those who push the canoe from the sand into the sea. Then there are those who jump into the boat when it is safely on the water.
When the canoe is on the sand, it is very difficult to push it into the water. When it is on the water it is safer and many more people jump in. That is why it is easier for a large church to grow.
When I began in the ministry I was despised and opposed! Looking back, I am surprised that I was able to survive the storms of beginning a church on my own. At certain times, I felt like giving up. Everyone in the world seemed against me. They called me names and ridiculed me.
When I carried a set of drums from my room in the medical hostel to a nearby classroom, I must have looked like a crazy zealot! "What does this person think he is doing with a few medical and nursing students?" I had no help from any of the bigger churches of my day. Some of them ridiculed me while others even opposed me. There was no help or approval from any man of God.
Do Not Become Desperate
Do not become financially desperate in the early stages of ministry. Be careful not to become dependent on the church you are pioneering for your financial survival. That is a big mistake! If you do, you will become a desperate man, clutching at every straw for survival.
A small church usually cannot afford to pay the salary of a pastor, much less buy him a car. My advice to anyone who is beginning a church is to find a job and start the church as a lay person. When people see that you are not ministering for financial gain, they will be more interested in your new church. Too many pastors are desperate for more and more offerings from their few members. Sixteen people cannot look after you. Twenty-one people cannot support your upkeep and your children's school fees. Don't be a desperate pastor! Get a job right now! At the right time, the church will have more than enough money to look after its pastors. I had to invest a lot of my own money to get the church to work. Although I am now in full-time ministry, I was not paid for the first five years of the church's existence.
There is another reason why you should not draw a salary in the early stages of a church. Money will be needed to buy equipment and to pay for other expenses like rent. If you siphon out the lifeblood of the church's money, it will not develop normally.
Two or Three is Enough
How many people are needed to start a church? The answer is in the Bible! Two or three!
For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.
Matthew 18:20
Some people have criticized me for having two or three people in a church. Well, such criticism comes from an ignoramus. I would rather hear my dogs barking in the morning than to listen to critical and inexperienced scoffers!
I do not start my churches with half a section of another person's church. If I have one pastor who is ready to obey God, all I need to do is to send him and he will start the work. The Lighthouse Cathedral was started with as few as five people.
When I went to Zürich to start a church, I knew only one person. Today that church has several hundred people in it. One pastor who did not know anybody in South Africa, but was willing to do the work of God, started our church in South Africa. You do not need more than one person to start a church. I have churches that have only three people, and I am not ashamed to say it. Do not try to impress anyone; just do the work of God!
Sometimes people are afraid to pioneer a church because they do not know how to do basic Christian tasks. What do I mean by the basics? The basics are praying, witnessing and following up converts.If you are truly called of God then the only person you need is yourself! All churches which began in this way have grown to become great trees. The Bible says that the kingdom of God is like a mustard seed.
…The kingdom of heaven is like to a grain of mustard seed, which a man took, and sowed in his field: Which indeed is the least of all seeds: but when it is grown, it is the greatest among herbs, and becometh a tree, so that the birds of the air come and lodge in the branches thereof.
Matthew 13:31, 32
What does that mean? Whereas an Old Boys Association or a Keep Fit Club may begin with quite a number of people, the beginnings of a church are like insignificant seeds. But they can grow, and they will grow. Many of my pastors are surprised when their churches grow. They cannot believe that the church will work. The beginning looks so miserable, yet that is how the kingdom of God is.
The Megachurch Had One Member!
One day, one of my pastors went to church and only one person came. He told me that he was very discouraged and depressed. He led that one person in worship. Then he preached to that one person. Afterwards he took an offering from that one person and then closed the service. He narrated to me how he went back home to his apartment in the deepest and blackest depression of his life. I am happy to tell you that today his church is a Megachurch and is still growing.
Don’t Be in a Hurry
There isn't any tree that grows from a seed into a large tree overnight. No human being grows to be six feet tall in one year. No two-year old grows into an eighteen-year old within six months. If you have a hasty spirit, you will not be successful in starting a church.
He that hasteth to be rich hath an evil eye, and considereth not that poverty shall come upon him.
Proverbs 28:22
In fact, when you are in a hurry, you are likely to cut corners, break someone else's church and criticize those ahead of you. You will commit dangerous sins in the early days of your fledgling ministry. Do not expect much within a year. Don't be surprised if you only have twenty people after two years. The mustard seed will surely grow into a Megachurch!
Pray for and Recruit Pillars
Pray for labourers. Ask God to give you helpers. Then go out and recruit pillars. Jesus called individuals to follow him. Jesus recruited Simon and Andrew. Then He also recruited James and John.
Now as he walked by the sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and Andrew his brother…And Jesus said unto them, Come ye after me, and I will make you to become fishers of men.
Mark 1:16, 17
And when he had gone a little further thence, he saw James the son of Zebedee, and John his brother… And straightway he called them and they left their father… and went after him.
Mark 1:19, 20
These people later became pillars in the church.
And when James, Cephas, and John, who seemed to be PILLARS…
Galatians 2:9
Sometimes you need to travel quite far in order to convince certain important pillars to join your church. Be extra careful that you do not break down somebody else's church in the process of building your own.
Making an open invitation to all is different from coercing people to leave their church to join you. The very existence of a church is an open invitation. Remember that you will reap what you sow (Galatians 6:7). If you pressurize pillars in another person's church to leave, it will happen to you one day.
One important aspect in recruiting people is to pray for labourers. Let it be your daily prayer topic. Ask God for workers and committed people. Pray for people who will be loyal to you in everything that you do. Pray for people who will support you.
Pray ye therefore the Lord of the harvest, that he will send forth LABOURERS into his harvest.
Matthew 9:38
Lay a Foundation of Prayer
I recommend an average time of prayer and fasting of three weeks or more. Pray for the future of the church. Do not expect results next week. The answer to these prayers will be seen in the years ahead.
When I first came to Korle-Bu (the area in Accra where our church is located), I would go at ten o'clock every night with four other medical students to the beach to pray. We would pray up until midnight. As I stood on the rocks near the seashore, my prayer was simply, “Lord, let your will be done. Do whatever you want to do with my life.” As the years have gone by, the Lord has answered this prayer beyond my wildest imagination.
I believe in laying a solid foundation of prayer and fasting at the beginning of every church. The church is a spiritual entity and not a social club. It must be established on scriptural and spiritual foundations.
Some useful Scriptures in praying for church establishment and church growth are:
…Thy will be done…
Matthew 6:10
Thy kingdom come…
Matthew 6:10
Ask of me, and I shall give thee the heathen for thine inheritance.
Psalm 2:8
…enlarge my coast…
1 Chronicles 4:10
...increase them with men like a flock.
Ezekiel 36:37
…for as soon as Zion travailed, she brought forth her children.
Isaiah 66:8
…I travail in birth again…
Galatians 4:19
Be a Motivational Leader
After gathering a few people into a room, you will need to greatly encourage them, including yourself. People will be thinking in their minds, “Are you out of your mind? Is this what you call a church?” You must learn to do what David did when faced with discouragement. Encourage yourself first.
…but David encouraged himself in the Lord his God.
1 Samuel 30:6
Then you must encourage the people. Tell them that though the beginning seems to be small, the future is going to be great!
Though thy beginning was small, yet thy latter end should greatly increase.
Job 8:7
Tell them not to despise the small start. Explain to them that the end is always better than the beginning. When they see that you are encouraged, they will be motivated to continue with the church.
Better is the end of a thing than the beginning thereof…
Ecclesiastes 7:8
For who hath despised the day of small things?…
Zechariah 4:10
Tell them that they are privileged to be founding members of a great church. Explain that the foundation of a building is the most important part of a building. Therefore, they are the most important members that the church will ever have. Tell them that Jesus always had a special place and reward for the apostles because they were his foundational members.
And are built upon the foundation of the apostles…
Ephesians 2:20
Do not make the mistake of rebuking and shouting at them. Do not vent your frustration on your few members. It is not their fault that the church is small in the beginning stages. Preach faith! Preach hope! Preach stabilization! Preach about a better tomorrow! People love to hear that tomorrow will be better than today. You must be bold and shameless in your preaching.
I say unto you, Though he will not rise and give him, because he is his friend, yet because of his importunity [shamelessness] he will rise and give him as many as he needeth.
Luke 11:8
In the above passage, the Greek word Anaideia translated importunity, also means shamelessness. The shamelessly persistent person gets results. Let's face it! There is some amount of shame in beginning a ministry with a few people. That is why people despise small beginnings!
Shamelessness (Anaideia) must characterize all that you do when you begin a church. Shamelessly invite people to join you on Sunday morning. When they see that you are not shy of your church, they will be interested in coming. Shamelessly advertise your church.
People will believe what you say about your church. If you have an assistant, he must say good things about the preaching and about the church in general. All of these things help to create a good atmosphere for church growth.
Witnessing and Follow-Up
This must be predominant in all of your church activities. You must boldly enter into the houses of your city and preach Christ to the people. You must shamelessly lead people to Christ in their living rooms. Pray for them and invite them to church.
Stand on the street and talk to passers-by about Jesus Christ. If you cannot shamelessly do street evangelism, then you cannot be a pastor. Lead the congregation in inviting people to church every Sunday. Do not be depressed if most of the visitors do not come back. Most of them will not stay anyway. God will supernaturally bring the increase.
Pastors must realize that there is a spiritual principle of sowing and reaping. Whatever you sow is what you will reap.
…for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.
Galatians 6:7
If you sow seeds through invitations and witnessing, you will reap from it one day. My experience is that after a crusade or an outreach we initially have very few results. However, after awhile we begin to have people coming from the very place we did the outreach. Usually they are not the people we witnessed to. But God divinely sends them to us from that place. Use all of the principles of anagkazo (For further study see the book, “Anagkazo” by Bishop Heward-Mills).
Avoid these Mistakes
Do not hurriedly appoint people to leadership positions. Allow time to pass before you make definite appointments. Many of the people who are with you in the beginning will leave anyway. Do not be discouraged because of fluctuating attendance. Do not be discouraged because of a rotational shift of the members, i.e., half attend this week, the other half next week. That is how sheep behave. Take no notice of them!
Do not rent an expensive hall. Do not keep the church's money in your house or in your personal account. One day somebody will accuse you of stealing, although you may have contributed a lot to the church. Do not count the money yourself but assign people to do so.
You Don’t Need These Things
Contrary to what people think, several things are not necessary when starting a church. You do not need a complimentary card or a briefcase to build a Megachurch! A constitution is not vital in the early stages. What is important is to have members and a regular congregation. A church logo is not important, neither is a church flag.
Initially, it may not be necessary to register a church. Many countries allow freedom of association and freedom of religion. Just build the church and fill it with people. Pray for them, preach the Word, visit the sheep and trust God! Since the greater one is in you, you cannot fail!
Furthermore, by these few pages, my son, be admonished because of making many books there is no end.
by Dag Heward-Mills
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How to Start a Church
Many people are afraid of starting a church because they do not know how to pioneer a new work. The art of beginning a church is the art of witnessing, following-up and gathering sheep together. You do not need to break up someone’s church to begin your own! How would you feel if someone was building his house next to yours and decided to break down your house to get some blocks for his? That is madness!
Unfortunately, this seems to be the only way that some people feel they can start a church. From today, do not be afraid of starting out in an honourable way. If God has really spoken to you, it will succeed!
10 Steps You Need to Start a Church
1. Count the cost.
For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost…
Luke 14:28
Carefully consider the implications of starting a church. It is not going to be easy! Not many people want to identify with a small thing. I learnt many years ago that there are two types of people in the world. There are those who push the canoe from the sand into the sea. Then there are those who jump into it when it is safely on the water.
When the canoe is on the sand, it is very difficult to push into the water. When it is on the water it is safer and many more people jump in. That is why it is easier for a large church to grow.
When I began in the ministry, I was despised and opposed! Looking back, I am surprised that I was able to survive the storms of beginning a church on my own. At certain times, I felt like giving up. Everyone in the world seemed against me. They called me names and ridiculed me.
When I carried a set of drums from my room in the medical school hostel to a nearby classroom, I must have looked like a crazy zealot! They were thinking,“What does this person think he is doing with a few medical and nursing students?”
I had no help from any of the bigger churches of my day. Some of them ridiculed me whilst others even opposed me. There was no help or approval from any man of God.
2. Do not become desperate.
Do not become financially desperate in the early stages of ministry. Be careful not to become dependent on the church you are pioneering for your financial survival.
That is a big mistake! If you do, you will become a desperate man, clutching at every straw for survival.
A small church usually cannot afford to pay the salary of a pastor, much less buy him a car. My advice to anyone who is beginning a church is to find a job and start the church as a lay person. When people see that you are not ministering for financial gain, they will be more interested in your new church. Too many pastors are desperate for more and more offerings from their few members. Sixteen people cannot look after you. Twenty-one people cannot support your upkeep and your children’s school fees.
Don’t be a desperate pastor! Get a job right now! At the right time, the church will have more than enough money to look after its pastors.
I had to invest a lot of my own money to get the church to work. Although I am now in full-time ministry, I was not paid for the first five years of the church’s existence. There is another reason why you should not draw a salary in the early stages of a church. Money will be needed to buy equipment and pay other expenses like rent. If you siphon out the lifeblood of the church, it will not develop normally.
3.Two or three is enough.
How many people are needed to start a church? The answer is in the Bible! Two or three!
For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.
Matthew 18:20
Some people have criticized me for having two or three people in a church. Well, such criticism comes from an ignoramus. I would rather hear my dogs barking in the morning than to listen to critical and inexperienced scoffers!
I do not start my churches with half a section of another person’s church. If I have one pastor who is ready to obey God, all I need to do is to send him and he will start the work. The Lighthouse Cathedral was started with as few as five people.
When I went to Zürich in Switzerland to start a church, I knew only one person. Today that church has several hundred people in it. One pastor who did not know anybody in South Africa, but was willing to do the work of God, started our church in South Africa. You do not need more than one person to start a church. I have churches that have only three people, and I am not ashamed to say it. Do not try to impress anyone, just do the work of God!
Sometimes people are afraid to pioneer a church because they do not know how to do basic Christian tasks. What do I mean by the basics? The basics are praying, witnessing and following up converts.
If you are truly called of God, then the only person you need is yourself! All churches which began in this way have grown to become great trees. The Bible says that the Kingdom of God is like a mustard seed.
…The kingdom of heaven is like to a grain of mustard seed, which a man took, and sowed in his field: Which indeed is the least of all seeds: but when it is grown, it is the greatest among herbs, and becometh a tree, so that the birds of the air come and lodge in the branches thereof.
Matthew 13:31, 32
What does that mean? Whereas an Old Boys’ Association or a Keep Fit Club may begin with quite a number of people, the beginnings of a church are like insignificant seeds. They can grow, and they will grow. Many of my pastors are surprised when their churches grow. They cannot believe that the church will work. The beginning looks so miserable yet that is how the Kingdom of God is.
The Mega Church Had One Member!
One day, one of my pastors went to church and only one person came. He told me that he was very discouraged and depressed. He led that one person in worship. Then he preached to that one person. Afterwards he took an offering from that one person and then closed the service. He narrated to me how he went back home to his apartment in the deepest and blackest depression of his life. I am happy to tell you that today his church is a mega church and is growing.
4. Don’t be in a hurry.
There isn’t any tree that grows from a seed into a large tree overnight. No human being grows to be six feet tall in one year. No two-year old grows into an eighteen-year old within six months. If you have a hasty spirit, you will not be successful at starting a church.
He that hasteth to be rich hath an evil eye, and considereth not that poverty shall come upon him.
Proverbs 28:22
In fact, when you are in a hurry, you are likely to cut corners, break someone’s church and criticize those ahead of you. You will commit dangerous sins in the early days of your fledgling ministry.
Do not expect much within a year. Don’t be surprised if you only have twenty people after two years. The mustard seed will surely grow into a mega church!
5. Pray for and recruit pillars.
Pray for labourers. Ask God to give you helpers. Then go out and recruit pillars. Jesus called individuals to follow Him. Jesus recruited Simon and Andrew. Then He also recruited James and John.
Now as he walked by the sea of Galilee, he saw Simon and Andrew his brother… And Jesus said unto them, Come ye after me, and I will make you to become fishers of men.
Mark 1:16, 17
And when he had gone a little farther thence, he saw James the son of Zebedee, and John his brother… And straightway he called them… and they left their father… and went after him.
Mark 1:19, 20
These people later became pillars in the church.
And when James, Cephas, and John, who seemed to be pillars…
Galatians 2:9
Sometimes you need to travel far in order to convince certain important pillars to join your church. Be extra careful that you do not break down somebody’s church in the process of building your own.
Making an open invitation to all is different from coercing people to leave their church to join you. The very existence of a church is an open invitation. Remember that you will reap what you sow (Galatians 6:7). If you pressurize pillars in another person’s church to leave, it will happen to you one day.
One important aspect in recruiting people is to pray for labourers. Let it be your daily prayer topic. Ask God for workers and committed people. Pray for people who will be loyal to you in everything that you do. Pray for people who will support you.
Pray ye therefore the Lord of the harvest, that he will send forth labourers into his harvest.
Matthew 9:38
6. Lay a foundation of prayer.
I recommend an average time of prayer and fasting of three weeks or more. Pray for the future of the church. Do not expect results next week. The answer to these prayers will be seen in the years ahead.
When I first came to Korle-Bu (the area in Accra where our church is located), every night at ten o’clock, I would go to the beach to pray together with four other medical students. We would pray up until midnight. As I stood on the rocks near the seashore, my prayer was simply, “Lord, let your will be done. Do whatever you want to do with my life.” As the years have gone by, the Lord has answered this prayer beyond my wildest imagination.
I believe in laying a solid foundation of prayer and fasting at the beginning of every church. The church is a spiritual entity and not a social club. It must be established on scriptural and spiritual foundations.
Some useful Scriptures in praying for church establishment and church growth are:
…Thy will be done…
Matthew 6:10
Thy kingdom come...
Matthew 6:10
Ask of me, and I shall give thee the heathen for thine inheritance,…
Psalm 2:8
…enlarge my coast...
1 Chronicles 4:10
...increase them with men like a flock.
Ezekiel 36:37
…for as soon as Zion travailed, she brought forth her children.
Isaiah 66:8
…I travail in birth again…
Galatians 4:19
7. Be a motivational leader.
After gathering a few people into a room, you will need to greatly encourage them, including yourself. People will be thinking in their minds, “Are you out of your mind? Is this what you call a church?” You must learn to do what David did when faced with discouragement – Encourage yourself first.
…but David encouraged himself in the Lord his God.
1 Samuel 30:6
Then you must encourage the people. Tell them that though the beginning seems to be small, the future is going to be great!
Though thy beginning was small, yet thy latter end should greatly increase.
Job 8:7
Tell them not to despise the small start. Explain to them that the end is always better than the beginning. When they see that you are encouraged, they will be motivated to continue with the church.
Better is the end of a thing than the beginning thereof…
Ecclesiastes 7:8
For who hath despised the day of small things?
Zechariah 4:10
Tell them that they are privileged to be founding members of a great church. Explain that the foundation of a building is the most important part of a building. Therefore, they are the most important members that the church will ever have. Tell them that Jesus always had a special place and reward for the apostles because they were His foundational members.
And are built upon the foundations of the apostles…
Ephesians 2:20
Do not make the mistake of rebuking and shouting at them. Do not vent your frustration on your few members. It is not their fault that the church is small in the beginning stages. Preach faith! Preach hope! Preach stabilization! Preach about a better tomorrow! People love to hear that tomorrow will be better than today. You must be bold and shameless in your preaching.
I say unto you, Though he will not rise and give him, because he is his friend, yet because of his importunity [shamelessness] he will rise and give him as many as he needeth.
Luke 11:8
In the above passage, the Greek word Anaideia translated importunity also means shamelessness. The shamelessly persistent person gets results. Let’s face it! There is some amount of shame in beginning a ministry with a few people. That is why people despise small beginnings!
Shamelessness (Anaideia) must characterize all that you do when you begin a church. Shamelessly invite people to join you on Sunday morning. When they see that you are not shy of your church, they will be interested in coming. Shamelessly advertise your church.
People will believe what you say about your church. If you have an assistant, he must say good things about the preaching and about the church in general. All of these things help to create a good atmosphere for church growth.
8. Witnessing and follow-up
This must be predominant in all your church activities. You must boldly enter into the houses of your city and preach Christ to the people. You must shamelessly lead people to Christ in their living rooms. Pray for them and invite them to church.
Stand on the street and talk to passers-by about Jesus Christ. If you cannot shamelessly do street evangelism, then you cannot be a pastor. Lead the congregation in inviting people to church every Sunday. Do not be depressed if most of the visitors do not come back. Most of them will not stay anyway. God will supernaturally bring the increase.
Pastors must realize that there is a spiritual principle of sowing and reaping. Whatever you sow, you will reap.
…for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.
Galatians 6:7
If you sow seeds through invitations and witnessing, you will reap from it one day. My experience is that after a crusade or an outreach, we initially have very few results. However, after a while, we begin to have people coming from the very place we did the outreach to church. Usually they are not the people we witnessed to, but God divinely sends them to us from that place.
Use all the principles of anagkazo (For further study see my book Anagkazo).
9. Avoid these mistakes.
Do not hurriedly appoint people to leadership positions. Allow time to pass before you make definite appointments. Many of the people who are with you in the beginning will leave anyway. Do not be discouraged because of fluctuating attendance. Do not be discouraged because of a rotational shift of the members, i.e., half attend this week, the other half next week. That is how sheep behave. Take no notice of them!
Do not rent an expensive hall. Do not keep the church’s money in your house or in your personal account. One day somebody will accuse you of stealing, although you may have contributed a lot to the church. Do not count the money yourself, but assign people to do so.
10. You don’t need these things.
Contrary to what people think, several things are not necessary when you are starting a church. You do not need a complimentary card or a briefcase to build a mega church! A constitution is not vital in the early stages. What is important is to have members and a regular congregation. A church logo is not important, neither is a church flag.
Initially, it may not be necessary to register a church. Many countries allow freedom of association and freedom of religion. Just build the church and fill it with people. Pray for them, preach the Word, visit the sheep and trust God! Since the Greater One is in you, you cannot fail!
by Dag Heward-Mills
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Blessings At A Beach Book Signing
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Blessings At A Beach Book Signing
Copyright 2018 Susan Anderson. All rights reserved.
I didn’t write a bestseller. Heck, I’d be doing well if my publisher decides to do a reprint. Readers may take a chance on a $15.99 paperback rather than a $24.99 hardcover. But we’ll see.
I’ve been on a book tour for Paul’s Prayers: A Mother’s Account of Raising an Autistic Son. I try to combine personal out-of-town trips with a tagalong book signing. The most recent was in Jensen Beach, Florida, at the Barnes and Noble.
Oh, the places you will go, and the people you will meet!
I don’t expect a whole lot. I’m not a celebrity, not a well-known author. I don’t have a Stephen King or Danielle Steele platform. I don’t know if that’s in God’s plan for me. I’ve spent a lot of time praying the Litany of Humility prayer when it comes to my writing career.
Here it is:
O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed … Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being loved … Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being extolled …
From the desire of being honored …
From the desire of being praised …
From the desire of being preferred to others…
From the desire of being consulted …
From the desire of being approved …
From the fear of being humiliated …
From the fear of being despised…
From the fear of suffering rebukes …
From the fear of being calumniated …
From the fear of being forgotten …
From the fear of being ridiculed …
From the fear of being wronged …
From the fear of being suspected …
That others may be loved more than I,
Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be esteemed more than I … Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That, in the opinion of the world, others may increase and I may decrease …
That others may be chosen and I set aside …
That others may be praised and I unnoticed …
That others may be preferred to me in everything…
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should …
I cut and pasted this prayer jewel in bold, because it should be the loudest in my heart. More of Jesus, and less of me; you know.
Copyright 2018 Susan Anderson. All rights reserved.
All the above to say that my book signing was a reveal of quality over quantity.
There wasn’t a line out the door.
But … I did have a couple who were waiting for me to arrive. Ha, ha. It turns out that they are Redemption card players. Redemption is a Bible trading card game that my husband Rob Anderson invented back in the 90’s and it has quite a loyal following, still. This young man introduced himself as being a pastor in the Orthodox Church and how Redemption had a huge influence on his personal life of faith.
He said he wanted to support me too, but was Rob with me too? He really wanted to meet Rob! Ha, ha. “Well, I’m the next best thing. No, Rob is at home. I’m solo on my book signing.” But then we took a picture together and I signed a copy of Paul’s Prayers for him.
Then there was a kid (I say kid because he looked about my kid’s age) who worked there. I’d seen him on the Barnes and Noble Jensen Beach Facebook page. He was cordial and conversational, asking me about writing and publishing, and then tugging at his headset, he looked up at the checkout line and saw customers waiting and he said, “Gotta go.” When his shift was over, he asked to have a picture with me. I was so flattered!
A nice couple approached me. They both had the same name. We’ll call them Dean and Deannie. He is a retired police officer who is currently involved in tracking devices for people at risk of wandering. These are used with patients with Alzheimer’s and now primarily used with autistic people. They’ve made over 3500 rescues, nationwide! He bought a copy of my book to put in a library. We took a picture as well.
There was another attractive lady who came in with her adult daughter and a grandchild. She was also an author of Florida history. I’m always jazzed by Florida history. She retrieved her pictorial historical book on Indiantown, Florida. I asked her if she minded standing in line with my Barnes and Noble discount card and cash to buy her book for me. “Of course,” she said. So, I signed a copy of Paul’s Prayers for her, and she signed her book, for me!
A young lady came in and I got right in her space. I asked, “Can I tell you about my book?” She smiled wide and said, “Sure.” She and I had an endearing conversation about getting healthy, physically, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. We decided to keep in touch by email. She was curious about my Catholic faith. May Our Lady have led her to Barnes and Noble that day? I believe she may have because as Our Lady has shared more than once, “There are no coincidences.” She bought a copy of my book. I’m hoping she likes the chapter on “Stress,” because that’s where I really unpack the graces of Rosary prayer.
Then there was a sweet young couple who came in, blindsided by my ‘get in your face’ approach. When I asked, “Hey, can I tell you about my book?” the young woman said, “Okay …” drawing it out like a piece of salt water taffy. This was impressive since she was originally a New Yorker. I could tell she was sort of curious and sort of just being polite.
I gave them my spiel and she turned to the back cover and asked wide eyed, “You know Phillip Gerard?”
I said, “Yes, I took a master writing class with him at a conference a few years ago. He agreed to give me a blurb on my book.”
“Oh, my g!” she said, “He was my professor for three years when I completed my MFA at UNCW.”
Say what? Talk about a small world. We talked a long time and although they didn’t buy my book, they took a picture of the cover to show a friend who had an autistic child. I gave them my business card and said, “Don’t forget about me.”
There were a few more valuable encounters.
Going back to praying “The Litany of Humility,” I ruminate on the moments with each person; each soul.
Each took his or her precious time to talk with me, to listen, to be present.
I am impressed with the personal exchange I had with each person.
Isn’t that how it is with Jesus?
I’m continually reminded of the two disciples traveling the Emmaus road. “Didn’t our hearts burn within us?” So personal. So relational. In the breaking of the bread.
When I wrote the book, I tried very hard to write for the reader. Who was my reader?
It is important to note that I didn’t think of the word ‘reader’ in a plural sense.
I thought of the mom who just found out her son is autistic.
Maybe the dad who endures fits of rage with his adult autistic son. He reacts to his dad’s sneezes or his mom accidentally dropping her keys on the floor. The noise drills right through his sensitive skull.
I wrote for the reader who has no time to read, no time to relax, because she’s running to the emergency room because her child is having seizures.
My heart continues to crack and bleed for the mom who changes her daughter’s diapers, when she should be helping her with college applications.
I wondered if my writing might reach a grandparent who tries to understand, tries to support, and loves as our heavenly Father loves his children. Grandparents who wonder what happened to their grandson? How? Is it genetic? We’ve never seen this before.
Not everyone will care about autism or be the slightest bit interested. It’s not their cross to bear.
But for those who carry this cross, those who are like me, maybe it will speak to them.
Because here’s the thing …
As a mother, you’d take your son’s place, in a heartbeat.
As a Christian, you know you can’t.
What you can do is be a Simon of Cyrene.
As a mother, you’d take your son’s place … As a Christian, you know you can’t. -@susanswims8
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You can help your autistic son carry the heavier cross.
As time goes on, the newness of my book will wane, and it will be shelved and forgotten.
But the story continues.
Not just for my son, because he is only one, but not the only one.
Stories like mine are taking place all over the United States. Autism rates are now at 1 in 56, 1 in 36, depending on where you live.
We need awareness.
We need prayers.
In this layer of society, like all layers,
We need God.
Copyright 2018 Susan Anderson
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Available September 4, 2018. Click cover to learn more.
Editors’ note: This is an excerpt from PURE: Inside the Evangelical Movement that Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free, by Linda Kay Klein, out September 4th from Simon and Schuster. The book is both a memoir and a reported account based on twelve years’ of interviews with scores of women across the country who, like Klein, were raised in evangelical purity culture. This excerpt features sections from those interviews.
Growing up, I heard a lot of talk about how evangelical Christians were better people than secular or other religious people (funnily enough, I now hear the exact same self-congratulatory messages from secular liberal people). But the truth was, I couldn’t always tell the difference between a Christian and a non-Christian. I saw both lie, both steal, both love, and both unselfishly give to others. But one tangible thing we could point to as evangelicals was that we didn’t have sex before marriage. There was that. There was always that. Which is why, I believe, the threat of losing that so-called sexual purity seemed so grave. Were we to have sex outside of marriage, could we even call ourselves Christians anymore? What if we made out? Kissed? Held hands? Had a crush? How close to sex could we come before we were no longer Christians?
After all, what other sin is said to fundamentally change you forever? You can be born again and have your slate wiped clean of lying, stealing, even murder. And if you do these things again later but honestly apologize to God, your sin is again forgiven. But sex outside of marriage is the only “sin” that I have ever heard described as changing you. Before sex, you are a virgin. After sex, well . . .[1]
I remember there was this girl’s high school retreat where the leader was talking about purity and how important it was and how she felt disgusting. Basically, she started breaking down crying because she hadn’t stayed pure, and this happened all the time in my church. My youth pastor’s wife had walked down the aisle pregnant, and was now married with two boys, but she would still weep about it. Not that the youth pastor who she had the baby with is weeping about it! But his wife still weeps about it and says how she feels ashamed, disgusting, and wrong, twelve years later. (Muriel)
Sometimes one doesn’t even need to have sex to feel this way. The purity movement teaches that every sexual activity—from masturbation to kissing, if it elicits that special feeling—can make one less pure.
What does it even mean to be “pure”? The lines were so blurred, and there was so much tragedy tied up with it: “Don’t do this, because if you do this you’re ruining your relationship with your future spouse . . .” “Don’t just be pure in body; you need to be pure in spirit . . .” Everything was just so intertwined with each other. It almost seemed like if you weren’t being physically impure, you were being spiritually and emotionally impure. Being “pure” became this really heavy, heavy weight to bear all the time. It almost made me go crazy questioning, “Well, is this impure? . . . Is this wrong? . . . Is this okay? . . . Is this going on?” (Holly)
Some purity-movement advocates even teach that sexual thoughts and feelings can make one impure.
I sort of thought of being naked with a guy. I didn’t picture him naked. I didn’t picture me naked. I just sort of imagined, “I could marry him and be naked with him one day.” And I felt terribly guilty over that for a long time. (Rosemary)
And it is implied that the sexual thoughts, feelings, and actions of others can be signs of your impurity as well (because surely you did something to make them think, feel, or do what they did).
I had one half-kiss at the age of sixteen that made me brush my teeth for ten minutes afterward.[2] It wasn’t even a kiss. He kissed me but I did not kiss him back. I think I mostly just stood there, kind of horrified and fascinated at the same time. But I felt guilty, ashamed, dirty for years. How screwed up is that? I thought I was dirty and ruined, a soiled package. But you know how it is. They say, “Make sure you don’t have to tell your husband the high number of people you’ve kissed someday. Your first kiss should come from your husband.” And I had just ruined it. I ruined it by letting this happen. [But didn’t you say you didn’t kiss him back?] Yes, but I felt I let it happen. I didn’t read the signals. I wasn’t on my guard. We jump through hoops to make it about our shamefulness. (Jo)
The purity message is not about sex. Rather, it is about us: who we are, who we are expected to be, and who it is said we will become if we fail to meet those expectations.
This is the language of shame.
Shame is the feeling “I am—or somebody else will think I am—bad” (as opposed to guilt, for example, which is associated with the feeling “I did something bad”). The religious purity messages many of us received as girls were about who we were, or at least who we would be seen as, not what we might do. Of course, we are all different and therefore respond to shaming of this kind differently. Our family dynamics, the affirmation we receive (or don’t receive) for other aspects of ourselves, the intersecting messages we are given about who we are based on our race, our ethnicity, our socioeconomic status, our physical and mental health, and so on all have roles to play. But the conversations that I have been having over the past twelve years make it clear that the consistent shaming embedded into the religious purity message, particularly during adolescence, a stage of extreme neural plasticity for sexual development, can be an extreme influence for many.
After all, researchers like psychiatrist Dr. Curt Thompson have found that our brains bend toward whatever it is that our attention is directed to. The purity message is that a girl or woman is utterly and fundamentally pure or impure, good or bad, pleasing or displeasing, desirable or undesirable, et cetera, based on her sexual and gender-based expressions or lack thereof. It follows that if an adolescent is regularly given shaming messages, she will become more likely to experience shame in association with sex and gender than she otherwise may have been. As Dr. Thompson explains in his book The Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe About Ourselves, “With repeated exposure to events [in which we feel shame], we pay attention to and, via our early neuroplastic flexibility, more permanently encode these shame networks. Thus, they become more easily able to fire later on, even when activated by the most minor or even unrelated stimuli (66).”
This is not good news for the shamed individual, or their potential partners. Shame tends to make people feel powerless and even worthless. It creates a fear of abandonment that, ironically, makes us push others away. We want to hide those aspects of ourselves we are ashamed of, so we may emotionally withdraw from those close to us, lash out at them to keep them at bay, or isolate ourselves in self-blame. Whatever it takes to keep the world (including ourselves) away from those parts of us that we have come to believe make us bad.
Over the years, shame adds up, but it can happen so slowly we don’t even notice it. We look at each shaming incident one at a time and tell ourselves what was said or done to us wasn’t that bad. In time, we become less and less sure that we can, or should, heal. Rather than seek help, we bury our shaming experiences deep in our bodies, where they are held similarly to trauma.
Shame researcher Dr. Brené Brown explains this phenomenon in her book I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t). She references the work of Harvard-trained psychiatrist Dr. Shelley Uram, who calls attention to the importance of recognizing “small, quiet traumas,” which she has found “often trigger the same brain-survival reaction” as larger traumas, such as a car crash. In I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t), Brown writes:
After studying Dr. Uram’s work, I believe it’s possible that many of our early shame experiences, especially with our parents and caregivers, were stored in our brains as traumas. This is why we often have such painful bodily reactions when we feel criticized, ridiculed, rejected, and shamed. Dr. Uram explains that the brain does not differentiate between overt or big trauma and covert or small, quiet trauma—it just registers the event as “a threat we can’t control (89).”
Perhaps this explains why I have heard so many stories of PTSD-like experiences in association with people’s sexuality, their bodies, and the church.
Today when I go into a church, I can’t stop panicking. I feel like I am going into a place in which I was raped, though I wasn’t. It is light-years easier for me to talk about being sexually abused as a child—I could give a public lecture about that—than it is for me to talk about what that religious community did to me. Sexual abuse is something that happened to me, but this was at the core of my identity. I participated in the community’s messaging about who I was, and allowed it to define me for years. The fear, the obsessing, the anxiety. It’s torment. It is Hell. It felt like torture. (Nicoletta)
And yet, the impact that shaming can have on people’s lives generally goes unacknowledged, and sometimes even unnoticed, within the communities in which it most regularly occurs. In some cases, shaming is so common it is coiled around core beliefs, laced through theology, and twisted into doctrine, making it nearly impossible to see.
I’m trained as a therapist, and I didn’t even recognize the trauma that I had in my life around religion until a few years ago. I’ve never spoken about these things with anyone else, not even with my closest friends. I have been through years of therapy and I’ve never once mentioned it to a therapist. (Nicoletta)
Shame can become like the smell of our own homes. The hum of an air conditioner. The feel of a wedding ring. It’s just . . . there. Which is when it is most dangerous. Because it is then that we are most likely to dismiss, rather than deal with, its dangerous effects.
Right now, groundbreaking research[3] is being performed among young adults raised in three conservative Christian communities—Baptist, Catholic, and Latter-day Saint—that reiterates many of the previously mentioned findings and posits several new ones that can help us better understand just how and why purity messaging is impacting girls the way it is. The researchers write in their brief:
There is little support indicating that the mechanisms currently used in our society (abstinence education, chastity pledges, and religious grounding) to curb teenage sexual activity actually work. The question remains, “Is our focus on sexual abstinence doing anything?”
It turns out that those who are sexually active and have experienced abstinence education and/or have stronger beliefs that the Bible should be literally translated [a core tenet of evangelicalism], have more sexual guilt. . . . females report significantly higher sex guilt than males (and) sex guilt from the first sexual experience is predictive of higher sex anxiety, lower sexual efficacy, and lower sexual satisfaction. So, females, in particular, who have strong religious beliefs and are engaging in premarital sex, are having unsatisfactory sex, they have high anxiety about it, and don’t feel that they are capable of changing their situation.
Lastly, the relationship between sex guilt and sex anxiety, sexual efficacy, and sexual satisfaction, doesn’t diminish over time; it gets stronger. . . . This is not a recipe for young women to embark on a fulfilling relationship with their partner and we predict could be an indicator of further sexual problems and relationship issues.
To summarize, first, the researchers are finding that purity teachings do not meaningfully delay sex. Second, they are finding that they do increase shame, especially among females. And third, they report that this increased shame is leading to higher levels of sexual anxiety, lower levels of sexual pleasure, and the feeling among those experiencing shame that they are stuck feeling this way forever. Oh, and it doesn’t get better with time . . . it gets worse!
Yep. Sounds about right.
[1] It should be noted that revirgination ceremonies (which I have personally only heard of being offered to and attended by women) are hosted by some churches. Though the idea of revirgination reflects the purity ethic that implies virgins are somehow “better” than non-virgins, and brings with it all the complications that come with that, I have heard these ceremonies described as very healing experiences for many, especially for those who have been raped or sexually abused.
[2] There is no definition for “half-kiss,” though it is a term I hear often in evangelical circles. One person might use it to refer to a peck or an otherwise short kiss, another to a kiss that she turned away from, etc. For many, the intention is to keep at least as many purity points as she deserves by not claiming a whole kiss when, for whatever reason, it didn’t really feel whole.
[3] Beale, K. S., E. Maynard, and M. O. Bigler. “The Intersection of Religion and Sex: Sex Guilt Resiliency among Baptists, Catholics, and Latter-day Saints.” Presentation at the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality: Phoenix, AZ, November 2016.
Copyright © 2018 by Linda Kay Klein. From the forthcoming book PURE: Inside the Evangelical Movement that Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free by Linda Kay Klein to be published by Touchstone, a Division of Simon & Schuster, Inc. Printed by permission.
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Golden Years Ch.16 (Negan x Reader)
Sympathy for the Devil
Summary: You explore the infancy of your relationship with Negan as your drug operation takes off. Life is good until the satellite outpost is attacked.
(Ao3) (Wattdpad)
(Masterlist)
Words: 1,945
As a recovering drug addict, it was obscenely ridiculous for you to be driving down an empty road with a few grams of heroin left in your bag, just itching to be shot into your bloodstream. However, this was the end of the world and you had to fight for every scrap of food and every sip of water that kept you alive. The old rules were a thing of the past and you had to do anything that kept yourself breathing.
You and Dwight had been sent out on the first heroin run and had been on the road for two days. Already the flatbed of your pickup truck was filled with canned goods, water, and even weapons. People had given up protection for drugs. Not a single bullet or drop of blood had come from either of you, and you were just under 20 miles from the Sanctuary, which meant that you were within radio distance.
Dwight picked up the two way radio, making sure to keep one hand on the wheel. “We’re about out. I think we’re going to head back and see if we can push the rest on our way.” There was a beep as he let go of the button. The response was almost immediate.
“See, I knew you two would kick ass!” Negan’s voice was static-y as he shouted into the speaker. “Come on back and we can talk shop. Now how much are we hauling?”
You took the radio from Dwight. “You’re gonna need a bigger truck.”
There was more static as Negan laughed. “Now you’re just whispering sweet nothings into my ear, sweet girl.”
Your cheeks dusted a light pink as you felt Dwight’s eyes briefly fall on you, and you were acutely aware of their scorn. It had been four days since you had first kissed Negan and it had been far from a one-time occurrence. The sudden outburst of emotion had spurred a romance between you and your fearless leader and it was both overwhelmingly exciting and bizarre. You quickly learned that Negan had invented PDA; he had absolutely no qualms with pouncing on you in the hallways. But for how tarnished his reputation was and how roaming his hands were, he never did anything without your permission.
You remembered your first day at the Sanctuary, when he showed you the rapist who had been condemned to the walkers’ yard and how disgusted Negan had been. It was confusing, how someone could be so adamantly against something while coercing five women to marry him.
You had decided to focus on his soft touches.
The part that had truly shocked you was the reaction of your peers. Suddenly there was an air of fear around you. Conversations would hush when you walked into a room and eyes were adverted when your gaze shifted. Evidently, being the object of Negan’s affection put you in a place of authority. If anything happened to you, Negan would be furious, and no one wanted to step on your toes.
But what had changed the most was Dwight’s attitude towards you.
You slammed the radio onto your thigh. “Okay. What is your problem?”
Dwight looked back at the road. “Nothing,” he muttered.
You barked. “No. You have been glaring at me like I pissed in your cereal. Either knock it off or tell me.”
The Savior’s grip on the wheel tightened. “He’s a monster.” Dwight’s voice was dark.
One of your hands clenched into a fist. “You don’t know him.”
With a screech, Dwight stomped on the break, sending you flying against your seatbelt. He turned to you and you immediately shrank. There was a fire in the man’s eyes that you had never seen before. “I don’t know him? You’ve only been here a few months and you think you know Negan? That man is the devil.”
A need to protect your more-than-friend was overwhelming and Dwight’s words made you grind your teeth. “Why, because he kills people? Just because he’s more…flamboyant about it-”
“He likes it.”
At that, you had no justification.
“He took my wife.”
It was as if the breath had been taken out of you. “What?” The truck continued to hum idly as Dwight gathered the strength to talk.
His words started off slow. “My wife's sister, Tina…she was diabetic. Obviously her insulin was hard to come by and it cost a lot of points. She ran out and Negan gave the option of marriage. We decided that running away would be a better option.”
You blinked. “That’s why he burned you.”
“I’d be dead if my wife hadn’t offered to marry him in Tina’s place.”
You turned and looked out the window. “Let’s go home.”
“So you’re just going to sweep this under the rug?” Dwight’s voice had raised in volume and ferocity.
“Drive!”
You fell into an uncomfortable silence.
Negan and several cronies were outside waiting for your return. It took everything in you not to jump out of the truck like a bat out of hell, but you were able to maintain your composer and slid out onto the tarmac.
“Well, tickle my pickle!” Negan boomed as he crossed the yard. “That is one serious haul!” He leaned over to examine the goods and looked to you. He sent you a charming smile. “Did you find it?”
Dwight and his accusations melted away at Negan’s toothy grin. You sent one back. “Yes, I did.” You stepped onto one of the back tires and began to rummage through the supplies. You felt a pair of hands take a firm hold of your waist. Negan didn’t want you to fall.
It took you a minute to find what you were looking for, so you felt triumphant when your fingers finally wrapped around a jar of apple butter. “I got it!” You hopped down and handed over the jar. “I doubt it’s good.”
Securing Lucille under his armpit, Negan unscrewed the top and smelled the jam. With a gag, he closed it. “It smells like ballsack.”
You held your hands up. “I told you. I don’t know why you want it so badly. It’s a perishable. I’ll keep looking for it, but I doubt I’ll find something that’s edible.”
He wrapped an arm around your waist and brought you to his chest. “Because I’m a Virginia boy. I’d blow Dwight here for some soft serve from Carl’s Ice Cream.”
If Dwight heard Negan, he ignored him as he continued to unload the truck.
Negan pressed a kiss to the burned area of your face. Although you couldn’t feel it, your heart fluttered. “How can you stand it?” you questioned.
“You’re like a goddamn toasted marshmallow.” He lifted your chin, looking sly. “Everyone who’s old enough to jackoff knows those are the best kind.”
You pressed your fingers to his lips. “How many women have you kissed today?”
At this, Negan’s eyes narrowed and the corner of his mouth quirked upward. He looked impressed by your awareness of the situation. “None as pretty as you.” When you still looked unimpressed, he huffed. “Or smart? Jesus.”
“Smooth.” You smiled smally before touching your lips to his. Early on you had decided that Negan had to work for affection. Sure, you could accept the whole package, but you weren’t going to easily be like one of his wives - just another woman, an option he could choose like an outfit off a coatrack.
You slid your arms underneath his jacket and wrapped them around his chest. He was warm from the sun and heavy material. Somehow Negan always managed to smell good and it only made you pull him closer.
Negan sighed into your mouth. “Shit. No one’s kissed me like this in years.” He squeezed your hips.
“You mean I’m doing it on my own free will?”
Negan’s eyebrows shot up as he held you back. “Excuse me?”
Your heart skipped a beat as you desperately racked your brain for a cover. You ran your fingers through his hair, touching the hint of grey. “I just mean that a lot of women aren’t always so confident in their decisions.” You waited anxiously as Negan analyzed you, clearly still suspicious. If he didn’t believe you, he didn’t give any indication.
He ran his knuckles down your cheek. “Calm down, sweetheart.”
“Negan!”
You all turned at the sound of Simon’s roar. With a screech Simon pulled through the gate and jumped out of the van just seconds after it stopped moving. Slamming the driver’s side door shut, he stormed over to you.
Although Negan stepped away, he kept a hand on the small on your back. “What’s going on?”
“My men are gone!” Simon’s face was beet red as he shouted. “They’re dead! Every single one at the satellite outpost!” He formed his hand into a gun and touched it to his temple. “Fucking shot in their sleep!”
You heard the leather of Negan’s glove squeak as his grip on Lucille tightened, but it was the only thing that gave away his fury. “Get Gavin and Regina and go to the conference room. We’ll talk in ten minutes and if you get there after me, you’re late.” He looked at Dwight. "Dwight, follow Simon."
As Simon rushed off, you spoke. “Who would have the guts to make a move like that?” You were truly stunned and from the looks of things, so was Negan. “Certainly not Gregory.”
Negan ran a hand down his face. “Guy’s busy diddling kids or running around in some clothes that make him invisible.”
As stressful as the situation was, you couldn’t help the smile that blossomed on your face. “Hans Christian Anderson.” For a moment you had forgotten just how well-read Negan was and your attraction for him surged. Placing a gentle hand on his cheek, you left a soft kiss to his jawbone.
He pulled you to his side. “You’re coming. It’s a real dick disco in there and sometimes I think it becomes more about who is right than an open discourse about the most effective action.”
“Do you think they’ll be apprehensive?”
Negan snorted. “Perhaps you haven’t seen how things work around here…” he let his sentence trail off as the snarls of the walkers wafted into the air. Stepping aside, he opened the door to the Sanctuary for you. “They won’t even look at you wrong, now that they know we suck face.” He followed you inside, triumphant by your obvious embarrassment.
As you expected, the entire council was present and accounted for and as Negan said, none of the members batted an eyelash at your presence. Silently taking the furthest seat from Negan, you waited patiently for him to settle at the head of the table. Rather than sit, Negan placed Lucille on the table and gripped its edge with both hands. For a few seconds he stood there with his head bowed.
“I can’t think of an easy way to say this, so I’m just going to spit it out.” Negan looked up, making sure to catch the eye of each Savior. “Simon has informed me that someone has mercilessly taken the lives of some of our own.”
Regina was the first to speak. She jerked forward and slapped her palm on the table in fury. “Who?”
Negan sighed and shook his head. “We don’t know. But whoever it was, they’re cowards. Everyone was slaughtered in their sleep. They couldn’t even face us like men!” His shout echoed off the walls. “Now, we’re here to figure out who these people are and how we’re going to make them pay.”
“Well, how we’re going to deal with them isn’t really a debate, is it?” Simon asked. He leaned forward. “They murdered my men! So we kill every last one of these pricks!”
“You know that’s not how we do things here, Simon,” Negan said firmly.
You shifted in your seat. “These people killed a whole outpost of Saviors without detection. We could use them.”
Negan smiled. “That’s my girl!” He looked at Simon. “We make these pricks piss their pants. When they go to sleep, I want them to see this handsome face in their nightmares. When people are scared, they do what you want. It’s basic Machiavellian politics.”
You covered your mouth and looked at your lap, trying to hide your blatant admiration. Whether your comrades knew about Machiavelli and The Prince, you didn’t know, but Negan certainly did.
Simon sucked at his teeth, clearly biting back words. “I’m just…concerned.” Simon’s words were slow and well thought out. He knew he was dancing with the devil by questioning Negan’s judgment so blatantly. “This was a pretty fearless move.”
Negan grinned. “Oh, Simon,” Negan said softly, “everyone’s afraid of something.”
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2018 World Juniors rosters and key players to watch
The tournament begins Tuesday in Buffalo.
If you needed a warmup to get into international hockey before the 2018 Winter Olympics, the best young players in the world will have you covered at the 2018 World Junior Championship tournament. The United States will be looking to defend its title on home ice in Buffalo after a thrilling victory in Montreal a year ago.
The World Juniors is an annual under-20 tournament featuring junior national teams full of top prospects. It’s a great chance to watch some extremely gifted players in an intense competition as they represent their countries. Even if it’s not quite star-studded like an NHL-backed Olympic tournament would be, the talent level will be high.
And for NHL fans, the tournament is always a stellar opportunity to keep up with the future of the game. Many of the players in Buffalo will go on to become NHL stars. If you want to get a leg up on your friends when discussing the 2018 draft, then following the World Juniors is a good place to start.
With that in mind, here’s a quick look at every team competing in the 2018 World Juniors, along with a key player to watch on each roster. NHL rights are included in parenthesis.
United States
Roster
Forwards: Ryan Poehling (MTL), Brady Tkachuk, Josh Norris (SJS), Casey Mittelstadt (BUF), Joey Anderson (NJD), Kailer Yamamoto (EDM), Patrick Harper (NSH), Logan Brown (OTT), Kieffer Bellows (NYI), Riley Tufte (DAL), Trent Frederic (BOS), Max Jones (ANA)
Defensemen: Ryan Lindgren (BOS), Quinn Hughes, Adam Fox (CGY), Dylan Samberg (WPG), Scott Perunovich, Andrew Peeke (CBJ), Mikey Anderson (LAK)
Goaltenders: Jake Oettinger (DAL), Joseph Woll (TOR), Jeremy Swayman (BOS)
Key player to watch: Quinn Hughes
There are a lot of must-see talents on Team USA, including Mittelstadt, Norris, and Yamamoto, but Hughes stands out because you’ve probably never seen him before. The University of Michigan star is a top prospect for the 2018 NHL Draft, and projects as a possible top-five pick. He’s undersized but makes up for it with amazing skating and puck handling. This will be the first chance for a lot of fans to see him up close, which should be exciting.
Canada
Roster
Forwards: Dillon Dube (CGY), Jonah Gadjovich (VAN), Boris Katchouk (TBL), Maxime Comtois (ANA), Taylor Raddysh (TBL), Tyler Steenbergen (ARI), Drake Batherson (OTT), Michael McLeod (NJD), Brett Howden (TBL), Sam Steel (ANA), Alex Formenton (OTT), Jordan Kyrou (STL), Robert Thomas (STL)
Defensemen: Jake Bean (CAR), Conor Timmins (COL), Cal Foote (TBL), Cale Makar (COL), Dante Fabbro (NSH), Kale Clague (LAK), Victor Mete (MTL)
Goaltenders: Carter Hart (PHI), Colton Point (DAL)
Key player to watch: Robert Thomas
Team Canada lacks the usual star power you’d expect from the world’s biggest hockey powerhouse, but it’s still a solid roster full of top prospects. Thomas, the No. 20 overall pick in the 2017 draft, stands out given his scorching start in the OHL. The versatile center has 46 points in 27 games for the London Knights after averaging a point per game last season.
Sweden
Roster
Forwards: Marcus Davidsson (BUF), Tim Soderlund (CHI), Glenn Gustafsson, Elias Pettersson (VAN), Linus Lindstrom (CGY), Fredrik Karlstrom (DAL), Alexander Nylander (BUF), Isac Lundestrom, Jesper Boqvist (NJD), Axel Jonsson Fjallby (WAS), Lias Andersson (NYR), Fabian Zetterlund (NJD), Oskar Steen (BOS)
Defensemen: Rasmus Dahlin, Erik Brannstrom (VGK), Timothy Liljegren (TOR), Linus Hogberg (PHI), Gustav Lindstrom (DET), Jesper Sellgren, Jacob Moverare (LAK)
Goaltenders: Filip Gustavsson (PIT), Filip Larsson (DET), Olle Eriksson Ek (ANA)
Key player to watch: Rasmus Dahlin
Get ready to hear his name over and over. Rasmus Dahlin. It’s a great name for a prospect so talented he’s like the Connor McDavid of defensemen. Dahlin already has a treasure trove of ridiculous highlights on YouTube and he doesn’t turn 18 until April. The consensus projected No. 1 overall pick for the 2018 NHL Draft is a special prospect, and he’ll be a leader for Sweden despite being one of the youngest players on the team. Expect this to be a fun precursor to his leading role in Pyeongchang before he makes his NHL debut next fall.
Russia
Roster
Forwards: Vitali Abramov (CBJ), Andrei Altybarmakan (CHI), Georgi Ivanov, Artur Kayumov (CHI), Klim Kostin (STL), Mikhail Maltsev (NJD), Artyom Manukyan, Alexei Polodyan, German Rubtsov (PHI), Marsel Sholokhov, Dmitri Sokolov (MIN), Andrei Svechnikov
Defensemen: Nikolai Knyzhov, Nikita Makeyev, Artyom Minulin, Dmitri Samorukov (EDM), Alexander Shepelev, Vladislav Syomin, Anatoli Yelizarov, Yegor Zaitev (NJD)
Goaltenders: Vladislav Sukhachyov, Mikhail Berdin (WPG), Alexei Melnichuk
Key player to watch: Andrei Svechnikov
There’s little doubt who will be the star player for Russia in Buffalo. Svechnikov is widely expected to be the first forward selected in the 2018 NHL Draft. The 18-year-old has 14 goals in 16 games with the OHL’s Barrie Colts this season, and could be a prime contender to lead the tournament in scoring if Russia can make a deep run. Between Dahlin, Svechnikov, and Hughes, you’ll potentially be able to see the top three draft picks for next year.
Finland
Roster
Forwards: Juha Jaaska, Janne Kuokkanen (CAR), Otto Koivula (NYI), Kristian Vesalainen (WPG), Joona Koppanen (BOS), Eetu Tuulola (CGY), Eeli Tolvanen (NSH), Markus Nurmi (OTT), Aapeli Rasanen (EDM), Joni Ikonen (MTL), Aleksi Heponiemi (FLA), Jere Innala, Rasmus Kupari
Defensemen: Miro Heiskanen (DAL), Robin Salo (NYI), Eemeli Rasanen (TOR), Juuso Valimaki (CGY), Olli Juolevi (VAN), Urho Vaakanainen (BOS), Henri Jokiharju (CHI), Kasper Kotkansalo (DET)
Goaltenders: Ukko-Pekka Luukkonen (BUF), Lassi Lehtinen, Niilo Halonen
Key player to watch: Miro Heiskanen
The Heiskanen hype train rolls into Buffalo this week. The Stars’ 2017 first-round pick is already playing a starring role in Finland’s top league at age 18 and will likely be the country’s top defenseman for the 2018 Winter Olympics in February. Heiskanen has elite-level NHL upside, and this will be his first chance to put it all on display for a North American audience.
Czech Republic
Roster
Forwards: Filip Chytil (NYR), Filip Helt (STL), Martin Kaut, Krystof Hrabik, Petr Kodytek, Daniel Kurovsky, Jakub Lauko, Albert Michnac, Martin Necas (CAR), Radovan Pavlik, Kristian Reichel, Ostap Safin (EDM), Marek Zachar, Filip Zadina
Defensemen: Vojtech Budik (BUF), Jakub Galvas (CHI), Libor Hajek (TBL), Filip Kral, Radim Salda, Ondrej Vala (DAL)
Goaltenders: Milan Kloucek, Josef Korenar (SJS), Jakub Skarek
Key player to watch: Filip Zadina
The Czech Republic boasts a pair of 2017 first-round picks in Chytil and Necas, but its best player may be Zadina, the 2018 draft-eligible prospect who projects as a potential top-five pick. He’s been adjusting to the North American game this season with 46 points in 32 games in the QMJHL, and NHL.com gives him a (likely unreasonable) comparison to Patrick Kane. This could be a breakout opportunity for the 18-year-old.
Denmark
Roster
Forwards: Jacob Schmidt-Svejstrup, Valdemar Ahlberg, Christian Mathiasen-Wejse, Jonas Rondbjerg (VGK), Lucas Andersen, Nikolaj Krag (STL), Joachim Blichfeld (SJS), Daniel Nielsen, Andreas Grundtvig, David Madsen, Magnus Molge, Phillip Schultz, Christoffer Gath
Defensemen: Oliver Larsen, Malte Setkov (DET), Christian Larsen, Jakob Jessen, Jeppe Mogensen, Rasmus Heine, Lasse Mortensen
Goaltenders: Emil Gransoe, Mads Soegaard, Kasper Krog
Key player to watch: Jonas Rondbjerg
One of just two Golden Knights prospects in the tournament, Rondbjerg will also likely be Denmark’s best player. The 2017 third-round pick is already playing a steady role with the Vaxjo Lakers in the SHL, Sweden’s top league, as an 18-year-old. He has seven points in 25 games this season.
Slovakia
Roster
Forwards: Erik Smolka, Samuel Bucek, Viliam Cacho, Filip Krivosik, Milos Kelemen, Adam Liska, Marian Studenic (NJD), Peter Kundrik, Adam Ruzicka (CGY), Samuel Solensky, Alex Tamasi, Milos Roman
Defensemen: Tomas Hedera, Martin Bodak, Martin Fehervary, Marek Korencik, David Matejovic, Michal Ivan, Vojtech Zelenak, Samuel Fereta
Goaltenders: David Hrenak, Jakub Kostelny, Roman Durny
Key player to watch: Adam Ruzicka
Part of the dying breed of big-bodied power forwards, Ruzicka might’ve gone higher than No. 109 overall in the 2017 draft if he had been playing this well a year ago. The 6’4, 203-pound winger has a team-leading 20 goals and 142 shots on goal in 34 games for the OHL’s Sarnia Sting. He’ll be leaned on heavily on the power play for a team looking to improve upon last year’s eighth-place finish.
Belarus
Roster
Forwards: Viktor Bovbel, Vladislav Ryadchenko, Alexander Lukashevich, Igor Martynov, Arseni Astashevich, Sergei Pishuk, Yegor Sharangovich, Ivan Drozdov, Vladislav Mikhalchuk, Maxim Sushko (PHI), Artyom Anisimov, Ilya Litvinov, Dmitri Grinkevich
Defensemen: Andrei Gostev, Vladislav Sokolovski, Dmitri Deryabin, Vladislav Martynyuk, Vladislav Yeryomenko, Dmitri Burovtsev, Vladislav Gabrus
Goaltenders: Dmitri Rodik, Andrei Grishenko, Vikita Tolopilo
Key player to watch: Maxim Sushko
Belarus only has one player whose rights are held by an NHL team, so it’s not difficult to pick which player to focus on. Sushko, the Flyers’ 2017 fourth-round pick, is a talented winger with 16 goals in 28 games for the OHL’s Owen Sound Attack this season. He’s not going to get much help in Buffalo, but he’s worth keeping an eye on.
Switzerland
Roster
Forwards: Nicolas Muller, Guillaume Maillard, Marco Miranda, Justin Sigrist, Ken Jager, Valentin Nussbaumer, Axel Simic, Sven Leuenberger, Nando Eggenberger, Philipp Kurashev, Andre Heim, Marco Cavalleri, Dario Rohrbach
Defensemen: Simon le Coultre, Davyd Barandun, Tobias Geisser, Nico Gross, Elia Riva, Tim Berni, Dominik Egli
Goaltenders: Matteo Ritz, Akira Schmid, Philip Wuthrich
Key player to watch: Tobias Geisser
Switzerland is a candidate for relegation by the end of this tournament, and its lack of potential NHL talent is a bit reason why. Nico Hischier is no longer around to carry this group, which finished seventh a year ago. The one guy who stands out is Geisser, a 2017 fourth-round pick by the Capitals who brings a ton of size (6’4, 201 pounds) and a big shot to the table.
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THINGS TO KNOW BEFORE YOU GO
BACKGROUND/LOCATION:
Peru is located in South America and borders Ecuador (north), Brazil (east), Bolivia (southeast), and Chile (south). The countries close to Peru, culturally speaking, are none. Maybe Mexico, but that is honestly a stretch. Peru is incredibly diverse, yes one may compare any Spanish speaking country to another, however, Peru is different because the country is such a diverse combination of cultures. The universal language is Spanish, however the official languages include Quechua, an old language mostly known to people who inhabit the Andes region of Peru, and Aymara, another language of the aforementioned indigenous peoples. To be honest, you may even hear some pockets of Lima where people speak English (hotels and such), and Japanese (there was a Japanese president a few years back and there is has been a Japanese mixed population prior to his presidency). Home to the Andes mountains, part of the Amazon rain forest (it's not ALL in Brazil), the country as has ancient ruins like Machu Picchu, an remnant of the Incan Empire. Lima, the capital is known as the "food capital of South America". Other cities that remain popular with tourists and are just good to be aware of in general is Trujillo, a seaside city located to the north of Lima, Arequipa (cities filled with buildings made from volcanic rock), Cuzco (Incan trail and Machu Picchu), and Inquitos (borders the Amazon).
Okay, enough geography for now. Onto history. Here are the top historical events you should be familiar with (or at least hear of) prior to going to Peru.
Incan Empire. This ancient civilization that includes Machu Picchu. It was mostly hunters and gatherers, intertwined with religion, architecture, and agriculture. The empire rules for hundreds of years and its last emperor, Atahuapla, raged a civil war with his brother, until they both were later conquered by Francisco Pizarro, a Spanish conquistador. Spanish- Spain ruled Peru for 200 years and brought peace to the region. Spain also influenced the Peruvians way of life, mostly with religion, by converting its people to Catholicism. However, Spain also used Peruvian indigenous people as slaves,as well as importing slaves form Africa, and eventually there was an uprising led by Inca Tupac Amaru II, a descendant of the royal family of the Inca (we'll reference him later). The rebellion collapsed until being liberated by Venezuela and Argentina (Simon Bolivar and Jose de San Martin respectively), a hundred years later. Spain- 40 years later Peru waged a war with Spain, which they won. Chile- Peru went to war with Chile, dubbed the "war of the Pacific" in 1879 and as a result lost part of the Atacama desert. Ecuador- Peru went to war with Ecuador over border dispute in 1941. A year later a treaty was created and signed between the two countries. Unfortunately, every January since then, disputes happen. Japan- After world war II, Japanese began traveling and staying in Peru. As a result, a Peruvian Japanese population emerged, which brought changes to the food, culture, etc. Cuba/China- In the 1960, guerrilla uprisings that were also influenced by Maoists and revolutionaries, (Shinning Path and Tupac Amaru) created political chaos that continues into the early 1990's Japan- President Alberto Fujimori, captured Sendero Luminoso, a leader in the revolts (Shining Path). During his presidency, Tupac Amaru kidnapped government officials who had Japanese descent because they believe that there is no place in Peru for the Japanese and those that are mixed with Peruvian descent. Fujimori ruled Peru for ten years and fled after his presidency on corruption and human rights violations and charges. Drugs- Peru is the world's top producer of coca, which is used to make cocaine. People normally associated drugs with other country's but based on this information one can conclude that it does, in fact, stem from Peru. Today- Peru, predominately Lima, has landed in the spotlight because of its rich cuisine, and more recently, its country wide beauty contest, where the contestants this year gave out rape and sexual harassment statistics instead of their measurements. there is still gang violence perpetuated by two gangs: Shining Path, which still has ties to neo-Maoism, and Tupac Amaru, still tries to overthrow the government. It is not as prevalent as it was ten years ago, but there is still some violence and flare-ups.
RELIGION:The major religion of Peru is Roman Catholic. Most of the country 80 percent are Catholic, while the remainder 20 percent is Christian. There are countless churches, shrines, religious symbols throughout the country. Even the indigenous people int he Andes region's religion have similarities and ties to Catholicism. IT is tied closely with politics, because there are religious symbols on governments buildings and the government mandated that public schools only teach Catholicism as religion.
POLITICS:There are two parties: the left and right parties. The president controls the government. Before presidents were democratically elected, people came to power in military coups, uprisings, and revolts. I should also mention currency with is sol and based on the US conversion charts, about 4 sols is a little over a dollar.
SOCIAL/ETHNIC CLASSES:There are three social classes: upper class, middle (business owners/teachers), and lower class (farmers). There are also different ethnicity present in Peru: the native people of Peru known as Indians, that live throughout the country, mostly the Andes (45%), the mestizo populations which are mixed people of European descent (37%), white people, ie; Americans (15%), African-Peruvians people (were brought as slave workers hundreds of years ago), and lastly Asian-Peruvian, Chinese (Tusan) and Japanese (Nisei) about 3%.
GENDER ROLES:In urban areas, there is more emphasis on the patriarchy model, where the man is the head of the household and the woman does the cooking, cleaning, and taking care of children. Both genders have equal rights, however, there is more street harassment towards women and men can be ridiculed for doing "women's work". In rural areas, like the Andes mountains, both men and women are expected to do both tasks and there is more equality.
NEWSPAPERS:Remember these names: El Comercio, La Republica, El Peruane, and Peru 21.
MOVIES TO KNOW: Millk of Sorrow about a woman suffering form a rare disease, Undertow, a ghost story that takes place in a seaside town and is about homosexuality, and Juliana, a story of girl who dressed like a boy so she can join her brother's gang.
NATIONAL DISH: Ceviche, a seafood dish that features "raw" fish that has been cooked in lime and lemon juice. Served at every restaurant. Another popular dish is Lomo Soltado, a stir fried beef dish with onions and peppers and is served with french fries.
People eat with their friends and family, mostly at home. However, people do eat at restaurants also, but there is greater importance on family. It is an low context culture among friends and strangers, but are high context culture among family and friends too. Friends and family will greet each other with phrases and hugs and kisses. With strangers they may shake your hand but more often than not they will just talk to you to get to know you. It honestly depends on whom you are speaking with and where since Peru is so ethnically diverse. Overall, Peruvians are very nice and hospitable; whether that is in the urban or rural areas of the country. Oh and people in urban areas are LOUD. The rural areas not as much. Peruvians tend to start and end events late and there is a small degree of personal space (people will hug and touch you). Peruvians have good posture and lean in to conversations. The dress is different depending where you go: Andes is more traditional clothing, like decorative cloths and shawls, in the urban areas such as Lima, people wear jeans, t-shirts, typical American garb, so to speak.
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The Guardian BTAG 9 TTBTAG 10 TT ATAG 4 TTall 402 news articles >> Premier League 2016 -1 7 season re-examine: our writers’ most effective and worst
Our scribes take stock after the Premier League season, appointing the most appropriate participate, finest goal, most entertaining match, biggest gripe and much more
Best actor
Daniel Taylor : NGolo Kant. If he was able to retain Cesc Fbregas out of the Chelsea team, he must be some player.
Barney Ronay: Friendly midfield interceptors are the way, but Harry Kane has been the superb single player: top scorer, unit “mens and” with just enough comic-book star quality.
Dominic Fifield : Eden Hazard, liberated by Antonio Contes switching in plan, rendered the cut and thrust which inspired Chelsea to their title success. Given his toils last-place season as he contended with a hip grievance, his resuscitation was eye-catching. Paul Wilson : It perhaps doesnt topic which Chelsea candidate gets the vote, so in the interests of sharing happenings around I am going to go for Csar Azpilicueta. He seems to be able to play in any posture in all the regions of the back way and his consistency and obstinacy are unaffected. Amy Lawrence : If you could bottle the spirit of Kant and marketplace it to football clubs it would be a bestseller. He has an ability to realize others around him better, to make a game plan quicker. The acces he carried his Leicester qualities so easily to Chelsea, to be transformative instantly, deserves all the plaudits. Barry Glendenning : Jordan Pickford. Exclusively in Sunderlands first team because David Moyes was also able to seduce Joe Hart on loan to Wearside, the 23 -year-old attracted off the impressive feat of constructing himself one of the most sought-after young goalkeepers in Europe despite invited to participate in the Premier Leagues worst unit. Even though he prone to the increasingly uncommon gaffe, its hard to collect defects in different aspects of Pickfords overall recreation and its no exaggeration to say that without him, Sunderland might well have been demoted before the sighting of this springs first swallow. David Hytner : Eden Hazard. Back to his very best. Its capability to stimulate the difference when it matters the most markers him out. Scott Murray : Diego Costa obstructed Chelsea going throughout the autumnal odyssey that effectively chose the conference, all the while remain in persona as pantomime provocateur. Homeric. Well miss his entertaining proximity when hes moved.
Jamie Jackson: Dele Alli. Seventeen Premier League purposes at 175 instants per impres for a No10 is top class. At 21, a participate with that shape all upper-class players possess has to get better.
Andy Hunter: Eden Hazard. The champs were not simply a very defensive squad, as a former manager demeanour sour grapes suggested. They were also the most devastating and smart squad in the final third thanks primarily to the Belgium internationals return to form.
Chelseas Eden Hazard has been back to his best this season. Picture: Darren Walsh/ Chelsea FC via Getty Images
Louise Taylor: Sam Clucas, Hull City; runner up, David Luiz, Chelsea. There are other, far more obvious, nominees but placed in the context of Clucass achievement in ascending five calls of the tournament ladder in subsequent seasons it has to be the left-footed midfielder. Impressive since being altered from a wide character to center midfield this word, the intelligence of Clucass delivering tolerates the hallmarks of Glenn Hoddle, who persuaded him not to give up video games before honing his abilities at his football academy in Spain. David Luiz, meanwhile, is lovely to watch and his re-invention in Antonio Contes back three has thoroughly confounded the doubters.
Stuart James: Gylfi Sigurdsson. Directly involved in 22 of Swansea Citys 43 purposes. For a participate to continually create and rating so many objectives in a crew that invested almost the entire season pushing relegation is quite something.
Jacob Steinberg : After last seasons sabbatical, Eden Hazard rediscovered his mojo in thrilling form and obtained the firmnes to go with his outrageous aptitude. NGolo Kant was a worthwhile recipient of the PFA and FWA accolades, but Hazard was Chelseas match-winner on so many occasions.
Paul Doyle: Kasper Schmeichel. While the rest of last-place seasons champs lost their acces, the goalkeeper was the only Leicester player to improve. Yes, there was that 6-1 demolish by Spurs but, taking a broader vistum, Schmeichel was an example to us all in these perturbed times.
Simon Burnton : The brilliant, hard-working, humble and likeable NGolo Kant deserves all the player-of-the-season bestows currently cluttering his mantelpiece. Ed Aarons : NGolo Kant deserves his awards for prevailing two seconds subsequent Premier League title, but Christian Eriksens return to figure coincided with Tottenhams emergence as Chelseas only sincere challengers. Even 13 abets and eight Premier League purposes do not explain the importance of the Denmark international to Mauricio Pochettino. Csar Azpilicueta also deserves a mention.
Sachin Nakrani : Gylfi Sigurdsson. The Iceland international directly contributed to almost half of Swanseas Premier League objectives and, very simply, without him they would have been demoted, standing all the fallout that comes with that, which, it should be remembered, includes people losing their jobs.
Best manager
Daniel Taylor : Antonio Conte. Even Jos Mourinho has stopped temporarily, at least trying to subvert him. How, perhaps, can anyone question what he has done to get Chelsea back on top?
Barney Ronay: Antonio Conte. Hurled together on the hoof a wonderfully well-grooved champion squad, eased John Terry out of the picture without the slightest friction and on accord eras remains the most ridiculously evoked soldier about anything ever.
Dominic Fifield : Antonio Conte. In a league crammed with society managers, he accommodated excellent to the peculiarities of the Premier League and culminated up putting all the other big names to shame.
Paul Wilson : It was going to be Marco Silva until a few days ago, but now Hull are back in the real world after a brief trip to dreamland there seems no detail in seeming past the obvious. Antonio Conte is more difficult to have hoped for a better first season in England. In terms of blow, it says it all that he can now equal Carlo Ancelottis double as well as Jos Mourinhos Premier League evidence of wins in a season.
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Antonio Conte: Chelsea’s brand-new Special One? video
Amy Lawrence : Conte. From the very first play of the Premier League campaign where reference is celebrated a late win over West Ham with that zealous touchline feeling, he has managed almost every situation with expert, class and style. In tactical adjustments and human management, raising the best out of characters as different as David Luiz, Diego Costa, Victor Moses and Pedro, he just missed a beat. Barry Glendenning : Antonio Conte. Charming and handsome, with the touchline behaviour of a male who has just had a large few of cherry-red ants plunged down the trousers of his expensive decorator suit, there is little to dislike about Chelseas manager. His switch to a back three in the aftermath of defeat at Arsenal has been acclaimed in some quarters as the greatest managerial masterstroke in the history of football and while that may be be over-egging the pudding quite, the manner in which he steered his team to the deed with a minimum of fuss in a season when one or more of Messrs Klopp, Mourinho and Guardiola were expected to have his set was no aim feat. David Hytner : Antonio Conte. It has been another immensely impressive season for Mauricio Pochettino but Contes has to get better. Took over a Chelsea squad with both problems and, in what has been his first season outside of Italy, moulded them into champions. Scott Murray : Heres a respectful gesture to Arsne Wenger, who in addition to yet another high-pitched conference place and yet another cup final, somehow preserved super-human high levels of glory despite intense provocation from an entitled minority. An extraordinary stunt. His will be much the very best gaze when this story is told 20 years from now.
Jamie Jackson: Antonio Conte. He coached the volatile Costa to 20 league purposes and may win the classic English double in his debut season.
Andy Hunter: Conte is the stand-out alternative , is not simply for prevailing the Premier League title in his first season in English football but for how he responded to potential junctures notably the 3-0 defeat at Arsenal and Januarys stand-off with Costa.
Louise Taylor: Sean Dyche, Burnley. Antonio Conte clearly has a strong action while, despite narrowly failing to keep Hull up, Marco Silva revolved ocean into wine in eastern Yorkshire. Then theres Mauricio Pochettino, whose Tottenham team play marvelous football on about one half the collective compensation legislation of other top six slopes, but continuing Burnley in the Premier League is a significant achievement. Devoted the same relatively limited resources as Dyche, would Jos Mourinho or Pep Guardiola have done anything like as well?
Sean Dyches Burnley have never genuinely been threatened with relegation this season so good has their dwelling flesh been. Image: Lee Smith/ Reuters
Stuart James: Antonio Conte. Tremendously impressive to prevail the entitlement in his first season in English football tactically astute, full of fervour for video games and get the impression that every player, even those not regularly in his starting XI, buys into his work.
Jacob Steinberg : A nod to Sean Dyche for retaining Burnley away from the relegation scrap, but it has to be Conte, who outperformed his adversaries by resurrecting a misfiring, uneven squad with the strength of his motivational tones, tactical acumen and virulent will to win.
Paul Doyle: Sean Dyche. Burnley never looked like going down, which is remarkable.
Simon Burnton : Great as Tottenham have once again been under Mauricio Pochettino, Antonio Contes affect at Chelsea has been greater. Ed Aarons : Antonio Conte. The Italian only been able to reach Stamford Bridge a month before Chelseas first game of the season but has emerged as a name win in his first season in English football. The was changed to 3-4-3 has defined Contes success but the former Juventus midfielder has also shown his man-management knowledge in are working with Diego Costas regular tantrums. Sachin Nakrani : Antonio Conte. Winning the deed in your first season in England is a superb achievement, specially when it involves reinvigorating a squad that had been in turmoil during the previous campaign.
Best objective
Daniel Taylor : Olivier Girouds scorpion kick for Arsenal against Crystal Palace. Barney Ronay : Girouds ranging scorpion attack, a lovely move and a incongruous finish, made all the more implausible by the fact he seems to stop mid-scorpion to winch his leg up a little higher, like a extremely potent human trying to moved his lane over a garden fence. Dominic Fifield : Eden Hazard against Arsenal, sprinting away from Laurent Koscielny and holding off Francis Coquelins attempts to fetching him down, then finishing before Shkodran Mustafi could block. Paul Wilson : Sam Allardyce will have been more worried about some unconvincing Crystal Palace defending, but Andy Carrolls overhead kick against Crystal Palace takes some beat for wow ingredient. Not a crew goal, perhaps, but Carroll gave a lot of himself into it.
Amy Lawrence : The Emre Can/ Giroud/ Henrikh Mkhitaryan showpieces lead the way for individualism, but there was something that impressed a chord about Willians goal for Chelsea at Everton in video games that felt so influential for the deed. What a fine crew purpose. The tone of Cesc Fbregass lead and pass for Willian summed up the brio Chelsea rediscovered this season. That was the moment they experienced undeniably like champs again.
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How the 2016 -1 7 Premier League title was won by Chelsea video
Barry Glendenning : Gastn Ramrez. Possibly not best available, but almost certainly the only thing in the best interests any Middlesbrough footballer did all season Ramrezs fine solo struggle cast goal-shy Boro on their way to their first dwelling triumph. Picking up the ball inside his own half and encouraged by the strange reluctance of anyone in a Bournemouth shirt to close him down, the Uruguayan embarked on a 70 -yard run down the inside left that climaxed with him unexpectedly cutting inside and slotting home. Buoyed by this rare moment of quality and muse, Middlesbrough went on to win three more Premier League competitions, while their increasingly unpopular summertime signing would go on to tallied exclusively one more destination as his surface sank below the depths. David Hytner : Andy Carroll v Crystal Palace. Nothing has the ability to fetch jaws to the floor more quickly than the thundering scissor kick. Specially when it is carried out by a big man. Scott Murray : Olivier Giroud against Palace. A finish so ludicrous its easy to forget the six-player pitch-long cavort that predated it, exaggerated by a centre-circle back-flick from Giroud himself. English footballs most eye-catching sweep forward since Terry McDermott tallied against Spurs in 1978.
Jamie Jackson: Henrikh Mkhitaryans scorpion kick versus Sunderland on Boxing Day. Zlatan Ibrahimovic pings a cross over from the right and the Armenian gives move a moving back-heeled attack. Delicious.
Andy Hunter: Dimitri Payet, West Ham United v Middlesbrough. Other purposes carried more weight in the framework of the season Emre Can against Watford and Eden Hazards v Arsenal being the most notable instances but based purely on its merits this momentary remember of a better quality the France international could bring to the Premier League had no equals.
Louise Taylor: Robert Snodgrass v Leicester City. The win in a 2-1 sicken opening-day succes against the defending champions for Mike Phelans side. When Wes Morgan could only half-clear Ahmed Elmohamadys inhuman cross, the pellet descended to Snodgrass whose first-time, left hoofed, half-volley arrowed into the bottom corner.
Stuart James: Emre Cans bicycle knock against Watford must take some vanquish. In fairness, Olivier Girouds scorpion kick against Palace is also worthy of a mention.
Emre Can makes move with a sumptuous overhead kick against Watford. Picture: John Walton/ PA
Jacob Steinberg : Gaston Ramrezs slaloming 70 -yard run against Bournemouth ended with a clever manoeuvre and a cool finish. Sure, Andy Carroll, Olivier Giroud and Henrikh Mkhitaryan all took the sigh away with those scorpion knocks and bicycle explodes. But in an otherwise gruesome season for Middlesbrough, the fact Ramrezs solo effort was a rare instant of exhilaration represents it all the more precious. Simon Burnton : Olivier Girouds New Years Day scorpion knock wasnt even Januarys goal of the month, and there are a few rival attacks that compare with it, but to my knowledge it is the best of the cluster. It has grown on the scorer as much as it has grown on me: after video games he said he was a bit luck. It was the only occasion I could do. I tried to reached it with a backheel and after it was all about fluke, but by March he was saying: I dont want to large-hearted myself up but goals like mine leave a mark on biography. Andy Carrolls[ overhead kicking] is splendid, but perhaps beings wont recalls that it in two years day. Mine, yes.
Paul Doyle: Wayne Rooney against Stoke. It was a inferno of a acces to grasp a late equaliser, mounted a wonderful record and persuasion Jos Mourinho he had been able to finally jilt an over-the-hill hero.
Ed Aarons : In a season of splendid barrages, Emre Can saved best available for last. His brilliant overhead kicking against Watford left good-for-nothing to opportunity, unlike Olivier Giroud or Henrikh Mkhitaryans scorpion kicks. Sachin Nakrani : Olivier Giroud v Crystal Palace. In a season of remarkable scorpion/ overhead kickings, this one boundaries it because of the slick counter-attack that preceded it and which Giroud was involved in as well as the meridian at which boot encountered ball prior to it looping into the net.
Best competitor
Daniel Taylor : At the risk of reverberating like a affliction, its not easy to think of a stand-out coincide this season. Nothing left home as aroused as, say, ascertaining Monaco in the Champions League. Barney Ronay : Swansea 5-4 Crystal Palace. Messy, wild and desperate at times, but this is basically what the Premier League is for. Dominic Fifield : Bournemouths madcap 4-3 win over Liverpool was entertaining, but Crystal Palaces prevail at Chelsea in April encapsulated everything about the baffling sort of the Premier League at times. Chelsea were superb moving forward, playing wonderfully perceptive and inventive football. Palace represented ruggedly and, somehow, remained them out. Paul Wilson : The one that fastens in the mind is Manchester City 1-3 Chelsea. An eventful and witty recreation, with some dead-eyed finishing by Chelsea to leave Pep Guardiola sighing about Kevin de Bruynes miss for the rest of the season. A significant name pointer at the Etihad too, for the second largest succeeding season following Leicesters statement win in February. Amy Lawrence : Swansea 5-4 Crystal Palace. Lovely, magnificent, beautiful, panicked madness. The better of the Bob Bradley experience. Alan Pardew trying to put on a courageous look. First on Match of the Day for an unanticipated competition. Whats not to like?
Barry Glendenning: Bournemouth 4-3 Liverpool. They dont get much more entertainingthan this white-knuckle rideat the Vitality Stadium.
Leroy Fer tallies during Swanseas rollercoaster 5-4 win over Crystal Palace. Image: Christopher Lee/ Getty Images
David Hytner : Swansea v Crystal Palace. Never knowledge the defending at both ends, this was a classic, loaded with drama, and the vistums after Fernando Llorentes stoppage-time win seemed to shake the Liberty Stadium. Both of the managers, Bob Bradley and Alan Pardew, were sacked within a few months or so. Scott Murray : Manchester City 1-1 Liverpool. It actually wouldnt have taken much for this activity to have ended 5-0, 0-5 or 5-5. One of those.
Jamie Jackson: Burnleys emphatic win over Liverpool at Turf Moor on the seasons second weekend punched a loophole in the entitle assertions of Jrgen Klopps team and intimated Sean Dyches males would live. Those auguries were proved correct.
Andy Hunter: Everton 4-0 Manchester City. Selecting from Premier League coincides accompanied, this raucous afternoon at Goodison Park stands out for many intellects. In Ronald Koemans attentions it was really perfect and a total unit rendition from Everton. It confirmed the arrival of Tom Davies, who tallied his first goal for the golf-club with an delicate microchip over Claudio Bravo at the Gwladys Street end, and accompanied a entry purpose for Ademola Lookman with one of the teenagers first contacts in the Premier League. For Pep Guardiola, nonetheless, it highlighted the defensive and mental debilities at Manchester City, represented the heaviest tournament overcome of his managerial busines and left him acknowledging the entitlement was beyond his team for this season.
Louise Taylor: If this represents watched live, its a difficult one to refute. As north-east correspondent Ive surely examined a few candidates for worst recreation at Sunderland and Middlesbrough and the better ones I covered invariably involved Newcastle United in the Championship. One top-tier recreation does stick in the recall though; Hull 3-3 Crystal Palace in December. A six-goal thriller boasting a bright, mesmerising concert from Palaces Wilfried Zaha.
Stuart James: Swansea City 5-4 Crystal Palace. A nine-goal thriller that was 1-1 with 25 minutes continuing then all blaze let loose. Bob Bradley and Alan Pardew, the respective administrators, went through every emotion departing and, in truth, it wasnt truly surprising that neither person lasted long long in the job. For what its worth, the reporters at video games were also in a awful commonwealth come the end.
Jacob Steinberg : Crystal Palace 0-4 Sunderland. Sunderland were so surprised about scoring four goals in a single half that they didnt win another tournament until they were already relegated. In their defence, Ive only just recovered from the stun as well. Simon Burnton : Liverpools 4-3 triumph at the Emirates on the seasons opening weekend was everything you could expect it to be and more. Good attacking, wonderful purposes from open play-act, a lovely free kick, brilliant being science, humiliating manager-hugging festivities, sunshine, it had the plenty. The only possible reaction was yes satisfy, Ill have nine months more of that. Which, unhappily, neither unit could deliver.
Paul Doyle: Leicester 4-2 Manchester City. Thrilling and at times brilliant, but also ludicrous, outrageous and laughable. A snapshot of this seasons Premier League.
Ed Aarons : Swansea 5-4 Palace. Conducting 4-3 with the game past the 90 -minute mark, Alan Pardew must have seemed pretty good. His crew had just duelled back from 3-1 down with simply 15 times remaining to lead, only to cede the points to Fernando Llorentes double in injury time.
Sachin Nakrani : Manchester City 1-1 Liverpool. A high-octane, end-to-end, relentlessly-thrilling encounter only let down by poverty-stricken terminate. A mention, extremely, for Swanseas 5-4 victory over Crystal Palace. A madcap encounter that encountered two objectives in strike time and Alan Pardew panicking the worst.
Best adjudicator
Daniel Taylor : Keith Hackett. I understand his disapprovals of the present harvest and wonder that he must never have made a mistake in his life. Barney Ronay : Clatts. Will be missed, in part for his unintentional humor, when he needles for Sauds. Dominic Fifield : Probably Martin Atkinson or Michael Oliver. Paul Wilson : No idea. They all look the same to me. Gives say Martin Atkinson. Amy Lawrence : Michael Oliver doesnt seem to want to be the starring as much as some. He gives the impression of wanting best available activity possible.
Barry Glendenning : Mike Dean. His no-lookyellow card to Ross Barkley in the Merseyside derby at Goodison Park was a happen of beauty.
Referee Mike Deans no-look yellow-bellied poster given to Ross Barkley was a occasion of elegance. Photo: Jason Cairnduff/ Reuters
David Hytner : I dont have strong concerns on the category this season. Id still say Mark Clattenburg is the best. Scott Murray : Adjudicators are lightning rods for impotent resentment, raging paranoia and myopic feeling. Objective praise doesnt come into it, its not what theyre there for.
Jamie Jackson: The video officer what a brave invention. What? They still do not subsist despite everyone else having access to ad nauseam replays?
Andy Hunter: Any nomination will incur the indignation of at the least one club though Anthony Taylor continues to improve so in the interests of harmony tells just say its not Jon Moss.
Louise Taylor: Probably Mark Clattenburg( despite missing the latter part of the season following move to Saudi Arabia .)
Stuart James: Not much to get excited about here. Martin Atkinson, Mark Clattenburg( yes, I realise hes now departed) and Michael Oliver would be in the three best. Oliver, on a good day, gets the nod.
Jacob Steinberg : Michael Oliver gets my referendum, capped by penalise Manchester Uniteds cynical rotational fouling on Hazard in the FA Cup. Simon Burnton : Mark Clattenburg. He sometimes consider this to be he thinks hes best available umpire in the estate, which is unappealing, but that doesnt become him wrong.
Paul Doyle: Mike Dean. The only one aimed at ensuring respect for the shirt-tugging directive with something close to consistency. And engineering will never have foibles as entertaining as his.
Ed Aarons : Mark Clattenburg and Martin Atkinson frequently get the biggest gigs from Uefa and Fifa, but Michael Oliver remains the outstanding ref in the country. Still simply 32, the Ashington official has been in charge of more equals( 31) than anyone else and problem only two red-faced cards. Sachin Nakrani : Unlike 99% of people who watch football in this country, I dont have a strong look on reviewers. They all seem approximately the same and their mistakes, while occasionally astounding, never entice me into reaching for a pitchfork.
Best signing
Daniel Taylor : Mamadou Sakho. People chortled when a January loan signing was nominated for Crystal Palaces actor of the season bestow. But without him Palace would be down. Barney Ronay : Leroy San. What a wonderful mover, what a calm foreman, what a neat young man. Seems to have no real limit to how good he could be. Dominic Fifield : NGolo Kant was key to Leicester Citys startling success in 2016, and just as influential to that of Chelsea in 2017. A blur of energy and interceptions, and at the heart of everything Chelsea have achieved.
Paul Wilson : Where would Manchester United be without Zlatan Ibrahimovics contribution? Barely the best evaluate subscribe, and not exactly one for the future either, but until injury impressed he did what “hes been” “ve brought” to do. Amy Lawrence : Hard to argue with Kant for overall impact. Honourable mentions to Mamadou Sakho who made a big difference to Crystal Palaces situation, and Gabriel Jesus for being a great signing who searches bound to reflect more for Manchester City in future. Barry Glendenning : NGolo Kant. David Hytner : David Luiz. Has shown that underneath the mad hair lies an intelligent reader of video games. Has excelled in the middle of a back three. Long go stands beautiful to watch. Scott Murray : Gabriel Jesus, a score-any-sort genius destined to clang in an nonsensical number of destinations. Had he not picked up that injury in February, Manchester City would have given Chelsea a race.
Jamie Jackson: Eric Bailly. Manchester United appear to have filled the Nemanja Vidic-sized gap created by his 2014 deviation. Costing 30 m from Villarreal, the Ivorian is a tough, reigning 23 -year-old who can be a fixture for a decade.
Andy Hunter: Paul Clement. Swansea City were bottom and examining particular for relegation when they appointed their third director of the campaign in January. Astute signals such as Tom Carroll and persuasion a squad to buy into yet another managerial expression facilitated the former Bayern Munich assistant to have an impact that can determine a clubs short-term future.
Louise Taylor: Eric Bailly for Manchester United. At 30 m he wasnt cheap but goodness knows how far United and Mourinho might have settled without Baillys center defensive excellence.
Mamadou Sakho stops Alxis Snchez in his trails. The champion altered Crystal Palace after his loan move from Liverpool. Photograph: Matthew Childs/ Reuters
Stuart James: NGolo Kant “wouldve been” up there, though it was a rather obvious portion of business on Chelseas part, given the Frenchmans wallop at Leicester the season before. With that in subconsciou, and taking it account the size of the cost, Ill go for Victor Wanyama, Tottenhams 11 m recruit from Southampton.
Jacob Steinberg : On the basis that ratify Kant was a no-brainer after last seasons manipulates, one has to admire Chelsea for building the restore of David Luiz a success. Its easy to forget that there were abundance of doubts about the Brazilian when he signed on deadline daylight. Simon Burnton : Crystal Palace acquired six of the 30 competitions they played without Mamadou Sakho in their line-up this season, but five of the eight in which the Liverpool loanee seemed, stopping five clean sheets in the process( counting their 1-0 defeat at Spurs, in which he was forced off after 57 goalless hours and they acknowledged in the 78 th ). No other signing was so transformational. Paul Doyle : Mamadou Sakho. Liverpool outcast, Crystal Palace saviour. Ed Aarons : Hard to argue with NGolo Kant for 30 m, who transferred from one blue title-winning shirt to another with minimum of fuss. Victor Wanyama, 11 m from Southampton, has had almost the same effect for Tottenham, albeit for a third of the price. Sachin Nakrani : Zlatan Ibrahimovic. I was among the people who believed the 35 -year-old, while undeniably talented, would strive in England. Instead he has gone on to become one of best available free deliveries in Premier League history.
Worst bust
Daniel Taylor : Pep Guardiola. Maybe our beliefs were too high but, after all that awaiting, it has been a real regret. Claudio Bravo comes a close second, which probably illustrates the point. Barney Ronay : Claudio Bravo of course, the first goalkeeper Ive ever seen receive an ironic round of applause from his own love for making a save.
Dominic Fifield : Moussa Sissoko has hardly pulled up any trees since becoming Tottenham Hotspurs record signing, which has not come just as much of a surprise to those who watched him regularly at Newcastle United.
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Guardiola: Barcelona and Bayern Munich would have sacked me video
Paul Wilson : The soldier who was tired of London. Dimitri Payet was a big letdown at West Ham United. The clubs 2015 -1 6 musician of its first year and inspiration for a stadium mural at least ought to have been able to manage a full season before leaving. Amy Lawrence : Jointly awarded to Manchester United and Arsenal, neither of whom were able to organize a serious challenge for the Premier League title despite banking heavily last-place summertime to apparently boost their push.
Barry Glendenning: Pep Guardiola. Assignment with his most difficult job in management in so far, even by his own admittance the Manchester City manager has come up woefully short.
David Hytner : Simone Zaza. His incongruous disadvantage at the Euros for Italy was simply the prologue. Saw his lend charm at West Ham United cut short after 11 competitions and no goals because, had he played a little bit more, the fraternity would have had to buy him outright. Moved to Valencia in January. Scott Murray : Pep Guardiola reached in England with a big reputation … for being super-surly in news conference. His glorious dislike for daft subjects has at times reflect through this was simply stately but not yet with Fergie or Louis van Gaal levels of consistency. Hes got the press corps sounded, though, if the repeated promote of the subject on the Sunday Supplement is anything to go by. He now needs to go in for the kill.
Jamie Jackson: Claudio Bravo. Pep Guardiola maybe blew Manchester Citys hopes of prevailing anything in his first season when bombing out Joe Hart and paying 14.5 m for the Chilean on 25 August. Bravo in a word? Hapless.
Andy Hunter: Claudio Bravo. There were more expensive mistakes than the Manchester City goalkeeper Tottenhams 30 m outlay on Moussa Sissoko for example but his recruitment was fundamental to how Pep Guardiola foresaw his first season in the Premier League and served only to subvert it. That is not to say it was a mistake to replace Joe Hart, who has toiled at Torino, merely that Bravo was the incorrect selection.
Louise Taylor: Moussa Sissoko, Tottenham Hotspur. Rafael Bentez is rightly proud of urging Spurs to part with 30 m for a midfielder who played a big its participation in Newcastle Uniteds relegation last year and whose Euro 2016 cameos for France flattered to mislead. Surely when HMRC lately attacked St James Park, club staff joked about whether they were investigating the theft of 30m from Spurs.
Stuart James: A few in the concoction here Borja Bastn at Swansea, Jordon Ibe at Bournemouth and Ahmed Musa at Leicester all spring to mind. But Claudio Bravo, Manchester Citys 17 m goalkeeper, is surely the standout candidate. What were you thinking of, Pep?
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Read more: www.theguardian.com
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