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Dangerous Sons
There are some people who come out of your spiritual loins and are in reality your sons. Even though they are your sons, they can cause you great pain. As a leader, you must not be surprised if the people you bring up and train turn on you like wild tigers.
There are sons who carry the spirit of Absalom and such people are truly dangerous sons. I call them dangerous because they are a part of you and yet they fight you. They claim your heritage! They even look like you but the spirit of Absalom upon them changes everything.
How can you identify a son who will rise up against you to kill you? As usual, the Bible is the best guide for everything.
Twelve Signs of Dangerous Sons
1. A dangerous son is full of unforgiveness and bitterness.
And Absalom spake unto his brother Amnon neither good nor bad: for ABSALOM HATED AMNON, because he had forced his sister Tamar.
2 Samuel 13:22
And Jonadab, the son of Shimeah David’s brother, answered and said, Let not my lord suppose that they have slain all the young men the king’s sons; for Amnon only is dead: for by the appointment of Absalom THIS HATH BEEN DETERMINED FROM THE DAY THAT HE FORCED HIS SISTER TAMAR.
2 Samuel 13:32
Absalom was someone who did not forgive his brother for raping Tamar. He nursed the hatred in his heart for two years. He planned his revenge and eventually carried it out. This world is a place of much offence. Many things will offend you in the church. Harbouring bitterness is the last thing that a minister should do.
I believe that the greatest temptation for a minister is the temptation to be unforgiving. This one sin will cut you away from God’s love. In the Old Testament, there were some basic requirements for being a priest. A priest was not supposed to have unhealed wounds and sores. Unhealed wounds become infected and pollute the whole body.
A priest or a pastor was not allowed to carry around unhealed wounds. “No man with a crippled foot or hand or who is hunchbacked or dwarfed, or who has any eye defect, or who has festering or running sores or damaged testicles. No descendant of Aaron the priest who has any defect is to come near to present the offerings made to the LORD by fire. He has a defect; he must not come near to offer the food of his God. He may eat the most holy food of his God, as well as the holy food; yet because of his defect, he must not go near the curtain or approach the altar, and so desecrate my sanctuary. I am the LORD, who makes them holy” (Leviticus 21:18-23 NASB).
A true minister working in the vineyard will be wounded over and over. Jesus was wounded many times but he forgave. That is the example we must follow.
The commonest wounds experienced by pastors are the wounds inflicted by ungrateful and disloyal people. It is unbelievable how people forget the extent to which you have been a blessing to them. They turn on you. Many ministers cannot handle the ingratitude and disloyalty of people. The inability to handle ingratitude often becomes the turning point of their lives and ministries.
In the last interview of his life, Derek Prince was asked whether he had any regrets. Amazingly, he said that he regretted not forgiving the people who had hurt him as quickly as he should have.
To have become a minister is to have received extra mercy from God. This mercy is over and above the grace that is shown the average person. “It is God himself, in his mercy, who has given us this wonderful work [of telling his Good News to others], and so we never give up” (2 Corinthians 4:1, Living Bible). We are therefore expected to show mercy and forgiveness to those who offend us.
One day, I went for a walk with a pastor who had been betrayed by his assistant. As he spoke about this fellow, I noticed that he was trembling visibly. He could not believe what this disloyal associate had done to him. He had repaid all the goodness shown him with a slap in the face. I could virtually see the running sores and the open wounds on my brother. I felt sympathy for him because he was genuinely hurt. But I also worried for him because I knew it could be the end of his ministry.
You see, Absalom’s unforgiveness was the beginning of his journey to desolation. Perhaps, Absalom would have been the King after David. But Amnon’s wound turned Absalom into a hateful murderous beast.
Pastors are turned into bitter personalities by wounds that are inflicted on them from outside. Your reaction to something can kill you.
Asthma is a disease that reminds me of unforgiveness. Asthma is simply an overreaction to substances that irritate the lungs. In an attempt to keep out further irritants, the airways constrict and breathing becomes difficult. Death happens when this reaction goes too far.
Absalom overreacted to his brother’s crime. As Absalom persisted on the road of unforgiveness, bitterness and revenge, he destroyed his life and ministry.
Somehow, God expects us to be even more forgiving. Perhaps the highest form of offence comes from spouses. Because marriage involves a physical and natural union, ministers are prone to multiple carnal wounds. Every minister must be resolute and unflinching in his or her resolve to be permanently married.
Never change your mind about your spouse. Do not allow your wounds and hurts to lead you into deception. All other options you may have on your mind will hurt you just as much as this marriage has. You do not have any options. Stay with what God has given you to the very end.
John Wesley was a good example of this. He had a difficult marriage but he stayed married to the same woman to the end of his life. Even though it was impossible to live with his wife, he remained married to her. He was separated from her but never divorced.
Marriage is for life. Good or bad, God expects you to forgive and walk in love. Watch out for people who do not forgive and forget.
2. Dangerous sons attack their brothers.
Now Absalom had commanded his servants, saying, Mark ye now when Amnon’s heart is merry with wine, and when I say unto you, Smite Amnon; then kill him, fear not: have not I commanded you? be courageous and be valiant.
2 Samuel 13:28
Dangerous sons exhibit features, which are worrying to the experienced eye. Attacking and killing your own brother is a very bad sign and a cause for concern. You must recognize the danger signs of ministers who attack other colleagues.
Many pastors do not realize that most of their discussions centre on others and not on the Word of God. Constant analysis, criticism and mockery of fellow ministers are most common in the conversation of some pastors.
Many times, it is not even possible to share Scripture and revelations with one another. The discussions of jealous pastors seem to centre on criticizing what someone else is doing. I have noticed myself drawing away from the company of such ministers.
3. Dangerous sons are not changed by years of hardship and difficulty.
So Absalom dwelt two full years in Jerusalem, and saw not the king’s face.
2 Samuel 14:28
Absalom suffered the hardship of living in exile for two years. One would have thought that he would undergo a change of heart. Watch out for pastors you have had to discipline and correct. The fact that they have been through punishment does not mean that they have repented. The spirit of unforgiveness and rebellion is simmering within.
I remember an employee whom we disciplined. He wrote an apology letter in which he said, “I was wrong and I apologize for what I did.” After writing his letter, he was suspended from his work for some months. Somehow, after months of suspension, this dangerous son of mine rose up in rebellion against me. He attacked me and the church to which he had belonged.
At one point, he sent a message to me saying, “I will drive you out of this city.” Perhaps, his intention was to spread enough bad stories about me until I was too embarrassed to stay in town.
Do these threats not sound familiar to you? Did Absalom not attempt to drive David out of Jerusalem? Actually, Absalom succeeded in driving David out of Jerusalem for some days.
The point is this: the spirit of Absalom is not corrected through punishment and even years of hard discipline. Do not be deceived into thinking that Absalom has changed just because he has been through a period of discipline, hardships or even poverty.
This explains why some people never apologize no matter what they go through. They may suffer so much but will not humble themselves and repent. Such people are simply Absalom reborn! Two years of exile and difficulty did not change the heart of Absalom. He became hardened and even more dangerous! A true “Absalom” is not humbled by his difficult experiences nor do they change him in any way!
4. Dangerous sons feel that they cannot be dismissed.
And Absalom answered Joab, Behold, I sent unto thee, saying, Come hither, that I may send thee to the king, to say, Wherefore am I come from Geshur? it had been good for me to have been there still: now therefore let me see the king’s face; and if there be any iniquity in me, LET HIM KILL ME.
2 Samuel 14:32
Whenever a person feels indispensable he is a dangerous person to have around. Some people feel that they are untouchable and can never be dispensed with.
Absalom was someone who felt that he could not be sacked. He felt that he could not be transferred away.
We read about how Absalom told Joab that if King David found something wrong with him he should simply execute him.
Absalom felt that his father could not execute him. Absalom was sure that David could not punish or deal with him in a certain way.
These words of Absalom reveal the mindset of a dangerous person. “My father cannot sack me”, “My father cannot discipline me”, “My father cannot deal with me.” In other words, I am untouchable and I know it!
Anyone who feels he is untouchable has developed the wrong attitude.
One day, I stood chatting with the most senior associate of a very large church. This man was seething because he had been transferred to another city.
The senior pastor had recognized the rebellion that was building up and had moved him quickly to another city.
But this fellow had thought that he was untouchable. He had also thought that it was an insult to be moved away from the church’s headquarters.
We continued talking about his new position in a branch church.
He said, “I am a senior associate and I have worked here for many years. The concept of being transferred should not be applied to someone of my rank. I am above such things as being transferred.”
He continued, “Even the word ‘transfer’ should never have been applied to me...”
This fellow had thought that he was untouchable. He thought he was secure in his position forever. Unfortunately, as soon as you begin to think of yourself as indispensable, you are becoming proud and deceived. Just like Absalom, your delusions will lead to your destruction. Pride always comes before a fall.
Sometimes, people sense that they are special and loved and they take advantage of this special place that they have. That is also a mistake. There is always a Joab that will do the job that the father doesn’t want to do.
There are circumstances that will eliminate a deluded and proud child from every good position he has. Try your luck and discover for yourself that no one is indispensable.
Dismiss Me if You Can
One time, a special son of mine behaved himself disrespectfully against the authority that was over him. There were several acts of insubordination. I tried to call him to reason with him but he would not even answer the telephone.
He would hear my voice on his answering machine and realize that I was desperately trying to get in touch with him. But he would not bother to answer.
Over a period of several weeks, we all tried to get in touch with him and to talk with him. He rudely ignored us until one day, his supervisor managed to get him on the phone. A short conversation ensued and I always remember a chilling message that this young man sent to all of us.
The overseer asked him, “Do you understand what you are doing?
Do you know how badly you are behaving?
Do you know how serious the situation is?
Do you understand the implications of what you are doing?”
He answered, “I do. I know what I am doing. I know the implications of everything.”
His overseer said to him, “Then why are you doing what you are doing?”
He was insolently silent. Then he said, “Maybe you should sack me.”
His overseer stuttered, “Did I hear you right? What did you say?”
He continued, “Any good organization would dismiss someone like me. It’s up to you to dismiss me.”
The conversation ended and the supervisor put down the phone in disbelief.
When the overseer told me about his conversation with this son of mine, I understood what was happening. You see this fellow felt that I could not sack him. He knew that he was special and he was pushing things to the limit. It is an “Absalom son” who knows that his father cannot kill him even when he deserves to die.
It was true that I could not easily dismiss him. Even after I received the invitation to sack this fellow, I decided to make one more manoeuvre to avoid dismissing him. I called his wife and told her to advise her husband to resign decently to prevent me from having to dismiss him.
As a father, I was making a move to prevent a son from destroying himself completely!
Absalom knew how much his father, David, loved him and he took advantage of it and said, “Let him kill me if he can.”
Even when Joab executed Absalom, David lamented sorely over him.
And the king was much moved, and went up to the chamber over the gate, and wept: and as he went, thus he said, O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! would God I had died for thee, O Absalom, my son, my son!
And it was told Joab, Behold, the king weepeth and mourneth for Absalom. And the victory that day was turned into mourning unto all the people: for the people heard say that day how the king was grieved for his son.
2 Samuel 18:33-19:2
Untouchable Wives
Wives who feel they cannot be divorced equally fall into this category. Some wives become mean and rebellious as they misuse the power of the marriage covenant, which opposes divorce. They feel they cannot be dismissed, divorced or replaced! They sense their husbands’ commitment to the Word of God and exploit their untouchable status to the maximum.
They hide behind the curtain and manifest some of the ugliest behaviour possible on their powerless husbands.
A married minister is like a toothless bulldog that can bark but cannot bite. He can warn, rant and rave, but he cannot dismiss! And the wives know it!
Several ministers suffer silently at the hands of insane and wicked women who take full advantage of the “you can’t divorce me” clause. For-For-Forgive!*
5. Dangerous sons think they can replace their fathers.
... Absalom said moreover, Oh that I were made judge in the land, that every man which hath any suit or cause might come unto me, and I would do him justice!
2 Samuel 15:4
Absalom had a desire to take over and replace his father.
Absalom thought himself to be as good as his father David. This is the spirit of Absalom. “I can and will replace my father now.” This is different from a son who wishes to emulate his father in the spirit of humility. This is a “takeover” and “replacement” spirit.
You Can Feel It
A bishop friend of mine could feel the spirit of Absalom all around him. He sensed these “dangerous sons with takeover spirits” hovering all around him in the ministry. These were hawks who felt their spiritual father was not relevant anymore.
He blurted out, “Some people are trying to retire me, but I cannot be retired!” He could sense that some people wanted him to leave the scene.
He continued, “What they don’t know is that when I am gone, the ‘thing’ that was fighting me will begin to fight them.”
Three Signs of the Replacement Spirit
Whenever such people start churches, they are unable to hide their desire to quickly become what their father is. An “Absalom” cannot hide the desire he has had for many years; the desire to take over and to replace his father.
Absalom said moreover, Oh that I were made judge in the land (2 Samuel 15:3-4).
This cry of the first Absalom is the same cry of all the present day “Absaloms”. It is the unspoken wish of these dangerous sons!
It is interesting to watch these dangerous people operate. Their actions only reveal the bloodline from which they come. New and rebellious ministries founded by ‘Absaloms’ have certain features.
I want to show you three common features that I have noticed of churches and ministries that are started by dangerous sons with an Absalom spirit.
a. They love to locate their new church near the church that they broke away from.
These churches are often set up in the same area as their original church. A church I used to attend had a very popular associate pastor who broke away. This man published leaflets with damaging information against our senior pastor. One Sunday morning he distributed these leaflets as we all came to church. However, an army of ushers eventually rose up and threw him out of the front door.
This fellow was bewildered and stood outside the church building amazed that people could be loyal to someone he thought was unqualified. He felt he had enough damaging information to make the entire flock follow him. Instead he had been thrown out by loyal ushers.
Amazingly, he went a hundred meters down the same road and rented a hall thinking that the whole church would follow him there. Within a few months, his new church collapsed. “Absaloms” are sometimes very predictable. God does not bless the work of Absalom.
b. Another characteristic of these dangerous sons is that they use names similar to ones which their fathers use.
For instance, if the father’s church was called “Losers International”, Absalom’s church is usually called “Defeat International”. On the other hand, if the father’s church is called, “Heaven Chapel International,” the Absalom’s church is usually called something like “Paradise Chapel International”.
Even within the church, they usually give similar names to things. For instance if the father’s church choir was called “the Roses”, Absalom’s church choir would be called “the Lilies”.
If cell groups were called “home fellowships”, Absalom’s cell groups would also be called “house fellowships” etc.
The reason for these similarities is that they are actually sons and a son has similar characteristics to his father. As I said, these “Absaloms” cannot hide their identity of being associated with their father.
In some cases, an “Absalom” would even keep the name of his father’s ministry and fight over the name with him. I have seen amazing examples of breakaway churches which insisted on using the name of the original ministry, which they broke away from as their name. Amazing, isn’t it?
c. Dangerous sons have similar practices as their father.
Because Absalom learnt all that he knows from his father, he usually has similar practices in his church. For instance if the father’s church had a midweek service on Thursday, Absalom would have his midweek service on Thursday as well. If his father’s church had buses picking up members, Absalom usually does the same.
These are just a few similarities that prove that Absalom is truly a son, but a dangerous son indeed!
6. Dangerous sons criticize their fathers.
And Absalom said unto him, See, thy matters are good and right; but there is no man deputed of the king to hear thee.
Absalom said moreover, Oh that I were made judge in the land, that every man which hath any suit or cause might come unto me, and I would do him justice!
2 Samuel 15:3-4
Absalom criticized his father’s way of governing the country. Criticism is born of an evil spirit. There is simply nothing that justifies criticism. All of Scripture condemns this practice.
The Hog Vision
I once had a vision in which I found myself walking down a long lonely path in the midst of some mountains. Visibility was good and I could see for miles all around me. In the vision, I was chatting and walking with two other pastors.
At a point, I made a comment about a great man of God. My remark was not one of praise neither was it neutral: it was criticizing this man for something he had done.
As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I noticed a creature that I can best describe as a hog begin to walk in my direction.
It was miles away and somewhere behind us but I noticed that it had begun to make its way towards me as soon as I made the remark. The creature seemed to have heard my critical remark. Somehow, the complaint was the signal for it to start moving towards me.
Initially, I thought the movement of that animal had nothing to do with me, but I felt uneasy and kept turning to see where it was.
To my dismay, it kept coming towards me. I realized that I was in danger and I turned round with my friends to face the creature as it walked rapidly and determinedly toward us. Finally, the creature caught up with us. To my surprise, the hog ignored my friends and leapt towards me, heading straight for my chest. I screamed as it entered my chest and then I woke up.
The Lord said to me, “Any time you criticize my servants, you attract evil spirits to your life.”
These evil spirits bring sickness, disease and other plagues into your life. I realized that it was a very dangerous thing to speak against any of God’s servants.
I was truly terrified by that vision.
Any spiritual person will be hesitant to speak against God’s anointed, no matter the reason. Miriam felt she had a good reason to speak against Moses.
When she criticized him she was struck with leprosy and God asked her, “…wherefore then were ye not afraid to speak against my servant Moses?” (Numbers 12:8).
The Joshua Generation
The people that followed Moses never entered the Promised Land. They could not enter the Promised Land because of one thing: the spirit of complaining, murmuring, doubting and criticism.
So we see that they could not enter in because of unbelief.
Hebrews 3:19
How was this unbelief manifested? Unbelief is demonstrated by murmuring and complaining. The Israelites complained about everything. In the end, they did not enter the Promised Land. The Moses generation did not enter The Promised Land but the Joshua generation did.
The Joshua generation are the generation who put away complaining and grumbling.
The Promised Land will be inherited by the generation that stops murmuring. If you can stop all forms of murmuring and grumbling in your church, you will see God’s promise for your ministry.
The Joshua generation knew all about the devastating effects of murmuring. The followers of Joshua promised to eliminate anyone who manifested even the faintest signs of grumbling.
And they answered Joshua, saying, All that thou commandest us we will do, and whithersoever thou sendest us, we will go.
According as we hearkened unto Moses in all things, so will we hearken unto thee: only the LORD thy God be with thee, as he was with Moses.
Whosoever he be that doth rebel against thy commandment, and will not hearken unto thy words in all that thou commandest him, he shall be put to death: only be strong and of a good courage.
Joshua 1:16-18
Ham, the Dangerous Son
A son who grows up in your house and benefits from all that you have but still does not believe in you is a dangerous son. Such dangerous sons forget that they would not exist if their father had not been there. Such people forget that they would not be in the ministry if someone had not made it possible for them.
Ham found out that his father was drunk and decided to tell others about it. He scoffed at his own father! What Ham forgot was that if Noah had not built an ark, he would not even exist! If Ham had not been alive, how would he have been able to criticize his father Noah? That is why the curse of Ham is so severe. Do not criticize your father even if he is drunk. Rather pray for yourself that you will never have the same drinking problem.
The Cult Document
Once, I had some sons whom I raised and trained in the ministry. When I met them, they were ordinary Christians and very far from becoming ministers. I trained them and appointed them as pastors, set them in churches, encouraged them and protected them from things that destroy young ministers. There were times they made obvious mistakes that could have turned their congregations against them but I covered them and did not allow people to rebel against them.
On one occasion, when someone heard that I had been able to make a pastor out of one of them he exclaimed, “You are doing wonders!”
On another occasion, I defended this young pastor so much that I was accused of having ulterior motives. Sometimes, young ministers exhibit indefensible and unacceptable behaviour. However, as a father, it is my duty to protect my sons until they are able to stand on their own two feet. Eventually, these fellows departed from my ministry and no longer belonged to our church. Relating with them became an unpleasant experience for me because I realized that I was dealing with dangerous sons.
These were sons, but like Absalom, became an unpleasant experience to their father. I longed for them and thought about them often. I wished to have an input in their lives. However, it was not to be so.
My greatest shock came when I received a document from them that was a teaching about cults. In this document, the characteristics of cults were outlined. How to identify cults, and stay away from them!
Unfortunately, these two sons of mine had discovered through this teaching that Lighthouse Chapel, the church which had raised them, had some characteristics of a cult. They had shared these “truths” amongst themselves and were now sending me a copy to learn from it. I received my copy of the cult document. They wanted me to identify for myself the characteristics of my ministry that made what I was doing cult like.
Of course, I do not believe that I am the pastor of a cult. I pray for grace and mercy to be delivered from such a thing. However, I consider it a privilege to be derided for Christ.
These young men had forgotten, that the church in which they now saw the features of a cult, had ordained them into the ministry.
Is it not amazing that someone I raised would even think of me and my ministry as bearing a likeness to a cult! I don’t even know of outsiders who could say such things. But such is life. Sons and daughters should be careful when making comments about someone who has been their father!
When Jesus cast out devils, someone made a comment about his using the spirit of Beelzebub. Jesus issued the most solemn warning ever:
Wherefore I say unto you, All manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven unto men: but the blasphemy against the Holy Ghost shall not be forgiven unto men.
And whosoever speaketh a word against the Son of man, it shall be forgiven him: but whosoever speaketh against the Holy Ghost, it shall not be forgiven him, neither in this world, neither in the world to come.
Matthew 12:31-32
7. Dangerous sons influence others against their fathers.
And with Absalom went two hundred men out of Jerusalem, that were called; and they went in their simplicity, and they knew not any thing.
2 Samuel 15:11
False leaders thrive on the ignorance of their followers. Some people utterly dislike my book “Loyalty and Disloyalty”. The reason they do not like it is that it exposes the disloyalty in them. Books on loyalty educate ordinary people in the church about the consequences of disloyalty. After such teachings, the ordinary church member easily identifies disloyal leaders. A grumbling, rebellious leader will stick out like a sore thumb and will not flourish where loyalty and disloyalty have been taught.
Once, I was invited to preach at a church. There were several pastors who sat on the front row of that church. I preached about loyalty and disloyalty. They all smiled with me after the service and gave neutral and pleasant comments about the sermon.
They said things like: “I was blessed”, “good preaching” etc. Unfortunately, some of them actually hated the message. Later, one of them made a remark.
He said, “That book ‘Loyalty and Disloyalty’ is rubbish.”
One of the pastors asked, “Does he not have anything else to preach about?”
Yet another said, “Is it only loyalty and disloyalty that he knows about?”
Not surprisingly, those who disliked the message were the disloyal pastors on the board. Within a few years, those disloyal pastors had left that church.
It is a clever strategy to discredit a book to your ignorant followers so that they never find out what is in it. An Absalom thrives on the ignorance and naivety of the people. Watch out for people who campaign against their fathers, trying to make you turn against your own father.
8. A dangerous son steals the hearts of the people from their father.
And on this manner did Absalom to all Israel that came to the king for judgment: so ABSALOM STOLE THE HEARTS of the men of Israel.
2 Samuel 15:6
And there came a messenger to David, saying, THE HEARTS OF THE MEN OF ISRAEL ARE AFTER ABSALOM.
2 Samuel 15:13
Absalom needed to gain a following and he knew what to do. He had to win the hearts of the people. Unfortunately, Absalom had no right to the hearts of the people. That is why the Bible uses the phrase “he stole the hearts” of the people.
Dangerous sons want what does not belong to them. The most valuable thing a leader possesses is the heart of his followers. If their hearts are with you, then you are in control.
Leadership is all about winning the hearts of those you lead. David was a leader and he built the nation of Israel virtually from scratch. When he realized that the hearts of the people were with Absalom, he knew that he had to flee.
“Absaloms” are usually handsome or gifted individuals. Unfortunately, it is gifted, anointed and successful ministers who are tempted to become “Absaloms”. Absalom had long, flowing hair and must have been attractive.
Every senior pastor must watch the “gifted” ones closely. It is a real temptation to become a dangerous son when you are gifted.
Mysteriously, the very gift that God gives can become a snare to you. As someone said, “Can you stand to be blessed?”
Can you carry an anointing? Can you carry an anointing for long?
Can you be gifted without become disloyal? Can you be a blessed son without becoming an Absalom?
Can you be rich without becoming proud?
Can you have access to the people without stealing their hearts?
Can anyone leave you in charge of his church without your taking over?
Can someone found a church and leave it in your care for a year without your stealing the hearts of the people?
Do not let your gift become your snare. Eventually Absalom was captured and killed because of his long, flowing hair. The blessing that God gave you will become what destroys you. How common this is. “And Absalom met the servants of David. And Absalom rode upon a mule, and the mule went under the thick boughs of a great oak, and his head caught hold of the oak, and he was taken up between the heaven and the earth; and the mule that was under him went away” (2 Samuel 18:9).
9. A dangerous son wants the pleasures and privileges of his father.
So they spread Absalom a tent upon the top of the house; and Absalom went in unto his father’s concubines in the sight of all Israel
2 Samuel 16:22
The privileges of a father are special. It is important to respect the privilege that God has given to fathers. A son who desires the privileges of his father is truly an Absalom. Many ministers claim that God led them to begin their ministries. Actually, some of these men are “Absaloms” who want to enjoy the privileges of their father.
They are not content with what they have and see no reason why they should slave away and let someone else get all the big benefits.
If God has called you to start your own ministry, please make sure that you are not just another Absalom desiring the pleasure and privileges of senior pastors. The spirit of Gehazi and the spirit of Absalom merge at this point.
Gehazi desired more privileges while Absalom desired his father’s concubines. “Absaloms” want more cars, houses and money. They want to be great and they want it quickly.
It is the fight for privileges that is often called the fight for “truth”. In the name of fighting for the truth or fighting for God’s will to be done, people are actually fighting for more privileges and pleasure spots. Forgive!
10. Dangerous sons have destructive tendencies.
Therefore Absalom sent for Joab, to have sent him to the king; but he would not come to him: and when he sent again the second time, he would not come. Therefore he said unto his servants, SEE, JOAB’S FIELD is near mine, and he hath barley there; go and SET IT ON FIRE. And Absalom’s servants set the field on fire.
2 Samuel 14:29-30
Absalom burnt down Joab’s farm in order to get his attention. He would stop at nothing in order to have his way. Watch out for people who will stop at nothing to have their way.
They spend money recklessly and drive over people to have their way. You can see the ruthlessness in Absalom by this act of burning down Joab’s farm. A ruthless person is a dangerous person. In their quest for power, they will do anything. They do not mind burning down the entire ministry or the reputation of their fathers in order to get their way.
11. Dangerous sons are men of conspiracies, secret meetings and side discussions.
And Absalom sent for Ahithophel the Gilonite, David’s counseller, from his city, even from Giloh, while he offered sacrifices. AND THE CONSPIRACY WAS STRONG; for the people increased continually with Absalom.
2 Samuel 15:12
Absalom had several secret meetings with Ahithophel and other dissenters. These quiet meetings were necessary to develop a strong conspiracy.
There are people who love to whisper among themselves even in your presence. Whatever they say never seems to concern you! It is time to discern and to detect conspiracies among so-called loyal followers.
The success of any mission depends on the absolute loyalty of those with you. Fight for loyalty.
Keep your eyes open and notice people who have meetings after the official meeting. Watch out for people who have discussions on the side with private jokes which no one else understands. These are all signs that there is hidden information being kept from you.
12. Dangerous sons lack the ability to induce loyalty in their followers.
Dangerous sons are doomed to failure in ministry because they have been castrated of the power to induce loyalty. The testicles of loyalty have been removed and therefore there are no more seeds that can generate loyal followers.
After leading armies of people to kill your own father, how can you be established as a father?
The very foundation of loyalty and commitment is destroyed. The people you led have watched you destroy your own father. They have learnt by example about how to overthrow established and God-ordained leaders.
Removing Foundations
I remember visiting a pastor friend of mine who had just taken over a branch church of a certain denomination. He had painted over the original name of the church and renamed it.
He, together with the associates had conspired to rebel against the denominational headquarters and seize the entire church, including its assets, properties and members.
I challenged my friend, “How could you do something like this?”
Standing in the auditorium with him, I pointed out, “That is not your pulpit, and these are not your chairs.”
I continued, “It is wrong to take over a church in this way.”
But he was adamant, arguing that it was the will of God.
He explained, “Our General Overseer is backslidden and does not read the Bible any more. He just reads strange books like ‘Attila the Hun’. ”
“What is Attila the Hun?” I asked.
He answered, “I don’t even know what ‘Attila the Hun’ is about because I refuse to read such things instead of the Bible.”
Then he said, “Come, let me show you something.”
He took me outside and there was a brand new, gleaming, black, German executive car. He said, “A man who heard of my takeover, bought this brand new car and sent it to me as a gift to encourage me. He did this to say ‘thank you’ to me for a good work done.”
As we stood by this beautiful car, the pastor turned and looked into my face and said, “Can this be the devil? Is this not God at work? Would the devil give me such a beautiful and expensive car?”
To him, this surprise gift of a brand new car was a confirmation that he had done the right thing.
Then I asked, “How are you going to lead this new church?”
He said, “I am the pastor, but the others around me are going to have a share of the leadership. I don’t want to run a one-man show as my former General Overseer did.”
“I will be a different kind of leader,” he continued.
As we parted company, I knew that this brother had removed the foundations for stability, leadership and loyalty. A few months later, his new associate pastors asked him to leave them. They levelled various accusations against him and showed him the door. He had no control over his associates because there was no foundation to that church. He was now powerless to control the raging storms of rebellion that he had unleashed.
Doomed to Reap a Harvest
Even if the people around you do not rebel, you are doomed to reap what you have sown. Galatians 6:7 will work against your good preaching, good principles, handsome appearance and clever strategies. It is just a matter of time. It may take ten years but the Scripture cannot be broken.
In the case of Absalom, he reaped what he had sown almost immediately. In his very first cabinet meeting, he was mistakenly led to choose a disloyal person as his chief counsellor.
God had determined to destroy Absalom and the Lord worked it out by making Absalom choose a disloyal person’s advice.
Ahithophel had been part of the conspiracy for months and maybe even years. Hushai, the Archite, was actually a loyal friend of David who had been planted in Absalom’s camp to mislead him. Absalom knew that the two wisest men whose advice his father had trusted were Hushai the Archite and Ahithophel the Gilonite.
Can you believe that Absalom chose to reject the counsel of his long-standing and loyal conspirator, Ahithophel, on that fateful night? This is the only thing that made Absalom lose the battle. He chose a disloyal person as his right-hand man.
Hushai: The Harvest of Absalom’s Disloyalty
For they have sown the wind, and they shall REAP THE WHIRLWIND...
Hosea 8:7
If you are an “Absalom”, God will make you choose evil because you have been evil to someone. You will unknowingly select wicked and unfaithful people. Liars and thieves will dance in circles around you. Your money will never be enough because the people that count and manage your money will steal from you constantly.
Treacherous women, more bitter than death, will be sent to destroy your life. Mercy! This is one of the punishments of God: “And I find more bitter than death the woman, whose heart is snares and nets, and her hands as bands: whoso pleaseth God shall escape from her; but the sinner shall be taken by her” (Ecclesiastes 7:26).
Wizards will be your accountants. You will unwittingly employ witches to assist you in the ministry. This is because when you were employed, you were a witch and a wizard to your employer. Anytime there is a choice between a good person and a bad person, you will choose the bad person. You will choose the wrong husband and the wrong wife. It will be a punishment and a snare to you for the rest of your days because you are not a loyal person.
If there is a good car and a defective car, you will always choose the defective one because when you were chosen you were evil to the one who chose you. If there is a good man and a bad man, you will always prefer the bad one. You will desire evil things and choose snares and traps for yourself because you were a snare to someone who loved you.
You will reap a hundredfold of your disloyalty and treachery! He that sows the wind will reap the whirlwind!
Many people do not realize that even the people you work with and lean on are gifts from God. Absalom had the best options but he was doomed to choose the wrong thing. Because he himself was a “wrong” child to his father.
I always pray that God will lead me to choose good people who will not harm me. Reaping and sowing are eternal principles of God’s Word. Anyone who claims to be working for God must respect that law.
by Dag Heward-Mills
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Assorted Biblical Principles 25-33
No. 25 Principle of the Importance of One’s Hair
Thine head upon thee is like Carmel, and the hair of thine head like purple; the king is held in the galleries.
Song of Solomon 7:5
(a) A woman’s hair contributes greatly to her beauty.1 If it is covered by a hair net or a cap, part of the beauty is taken away. Do not unknowingly give the best of your beauty to outsiders and treat your husband to your less beautiful covered hair. Let him always see your beautiful hair even during sleep or sex.
(b) Take time to do your hair and do not stop investing in your personal beauty.2
No. 26 Principle that Breasts Are Beautiful
This thy stature is like to a palm tree, and thy breasts to clusters of grapes.
Song of Solomon 7:7
(a) Breasts are beautiful. Look after them well by always wearing a firm, supporting, good brassiere. Show them to your husband and let him be overwhelmed by these nice “grapes”.
(b) A husband must know that his wife’s breasts are beautiful no matter the shape or size or age. Enjoy them and let them satisfy you all your days.
(c) As time passes, the look of the breasts will change. This does not mean they are spoilt. Learn to appreciate the beauty of your wife’s breasts at every stage of her life. In other words, the breasts of an eighteen-year-old woman are different and beautiful, as well as those of one who is thirty years old and so on. There is a special beauty for each age.
No. 27 Principle of Having Good Breath
I said, “I will climb the palm tree; I will take hold of its fruit.” May your breasts be like the clusters of the vine, the fragrance of your breath like apples,
Song of Solomon 7:8 (NIV)
(a) Good breath is important to help in kissing and intimate relations. Have good breath by brushing your teeth and using mouthwash when necessary.
(b) A couple must be able to tell each other when there is a problem with the breath.
No. 28 Principle of Enhanced Joy Away from Home
Come, my beloved, let us go forth into the field; let us lodge in the villages. Let us get up early to the vineyards; let us see if the vine flourish, whether the tender grape appear, and the pomegranates bud forth: there will I give thee my loves.
Song of Solomon 7:11,12
(a) Do not miss the opportunity for enhanced sex whilst away from home. Outside your usual environment, sex is likely to be more exciting. Don’t miss such opportunities, from the honeymoon to trips away together.
No. 29 Principle of Having Sex at Any Time of the Day
Let us get up early to the vineyards; let us see if the vine flourish, whether the tender grape appear, and the pomegranates bud forth: there will I give thee my loves.
Song of Solomon 7:12
(a) Having sex at different times of the day produces different effects and different feelings. Do not miss the opportunity to have sex at different times.
(b) Try sex at dawn, try it in the morning, try it in the afternoon. Try it at any time.
No. 30 Principle of Developing Appropriate Techniques in Sex
His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.
Song of Solomon 8:3
(a) Sex is an art which can be learnt and improved. Learn what to do, how to do it and when to do it.
(b) Improve yourself as a sexual being. Just as you learn other things, learn about sex.
No. 31 Principle of Rapid Sexual Responses
Make haste, my beloved, and be thou like to a roe or to a“young hart upon the mountains of spices.
Song of Solomon 8:14
(a) Do not delay your wife/husband unduly when he/she is ready for sex. Don’t say “after lunch”, “tomorrow” or “later”. Do it now.
(b) It is cruel to turn away your spouse when you can see he/she has a strong desire or even an erection.
No. 32 Principle of the Importance and Beauty of Virginity
We have a little sister, and she hath no breasts: what shall we do for our sister in the day when she shall be spoken for? If she be a wall, we will build upon her a palace of silver: and if she be a door, we will enclose her with boards of cedar. I am a wall, and my breasts like towers: then was I in his eyes as one that found favour.
Song of Solomon 8:8-10
(a) Protect your virginity till the day you marry. Do not think that because you will marry anyway, you can just have sex.
(b) You can be a virgin in your body, in your mind and in your emotions. If you:
i. Confess your sins.
ii. Forgive yourself and let go of the past.
iii. Continue to live a pure life till you are married. This will make you a “virgin” in your mind and your emotions.
(c) Don’t come into the marriage with an attitude of a well-trained expert who is going to train your partner.
No. 33 Principle of Being in Love Forever
Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong as death; jealousy is cruel as the grave: the coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath a most vehement flame. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it: if a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be contemned.
Song of Solomon 8:6,7
(a) Because marriage is permanent, you can let yourself go without any fear.
(b) Because it is forever, you can take your time to discover and learn about sex slowly and enjoy it all your days.
MARRIAGE is forever!
Notes
1. Tommy Nelson, The Book of Romance (Nashville, Tennessee: Thomas Nelson, 1998), 165.
2. Margaret Hardisty, Forever My Love (Irvine, California: Harvest House Publishers, 1975), 77 - 90.
by Dag Heward-Mills
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Love in Marriage
Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth...
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Love needs an object towards which it may direct its attention, care and resources. Love gives and is therefore rewarded; the man is rewarded with a helpmate, the woman with someone to love her and provide her with security.
There are three types of love that must be practised in marriage.1 All three types are important for a happy marriage:
1. Agape
2. Phileo
3. Eros
1. Agape2
But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:8
Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we shouldbe called the sons of God: therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew him not.
1 John 3:1
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Ephesians 5:25
(a) “Agape” is normally described as the God-kind of love, which says, “I love you in spite of this issue.” It is a willingness to accept the other person for who he/she is without expecting a change into “the ideal spouse” in shape, form, size, or intellect. This means that even if your spouse never reduces/increases in size or becomes better at any other area, you are still prepared to walk in love.3
(b) It is unconditional. It does not love on condition that the other partner is well-behaved. That is, the husband does not say that, “I will love her if she submits to me.” Nor should the wife say that, “I will love and submit to him if only he can be a bit more loving according to the Bible.”4
(c) One must decide to love only one’s spouse and no other person.
(d) “Agape” love is sacrificial and therefore will go the extra mile to give time, attention, gifts etc.
(e) This type of love has to be a conscious decision. You walk in love because the Word of God commands you to love your spouse.
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Ephesians 5:25
Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
Colossians 3:19
The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness ...That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
Titus 2:3-4
(f) This type of love covers a multitude of sins and does not refer to a person’s past sins and mistakes.
Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins.
Proverbs 10:12
He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends.
Proverbs 17:9
(g) The “agape” kind of love trusts (“... believeth all things”) and therefore is not suspicious of the other spouse’s every move and associations. Your love must move you to a position of trust so that you do not relate to your spouse with suspicion; questioning motives and prejudging his/her actions especially in relation to the opposite sex.5
2. Phileo
Let brotherly love continue.
Hebrews 13:1
(a) This has to do with brotherly love. It is the sort of love that binds siblings.6
(b) Brotherly love must also continue in marriage.
(c) This aspect of love which provides friendship and respect must be present in the marriage.
(d) You must be able to chat with each other, play together, tease each other, etc.
(e) Talk about your interests, e.g. politics, etc.
(f) Be supportive of each other.
(g) Defend each other.
3. Eros
Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.
Proverbs 5:19
(a) “Eros” is sexual love.7
(b) Romance must be present in every marriage. It is not only for beloveds or newlyweds per se. You must continue with things like having lunch/dinner together, taking walks, visiting people, etc.
NB: These three types of love must be present and working together all the time. One or two without the other(s) is incomplete and impracticable. They are mutually reinforcing.
Marriage without AGAPE is chaotic and selfish and is usually full of quarrels.
Marriage without PHILEO leads to a wicked husband or an unkind wife.
Marriage with only EROS love usually has short-lived happiness.
Marriage without EROS usually strains the relationship of the couple and leads to adultery.
Notes
1. Evans A. Laryea, Joining of Lives (Accra, Ghana: PAL International, 2002), 112 - 20; Timothy L. Hall, The Labor of Love (Grand Rapids, Michigan: Kregel, 1996), 19 - 33; C. S. Lewis, The Four Loves (New York: Harcourt, Brace and Co., 1960), 56 - 57; Dave and Joyce Ames, Second Honeymoon (Eastbourne: Kingsway Publishing, 1991), 26 - 36.
2. Lana Packer, Women Making a Difference in Marriage (Nashville, Tennessee: Lifeway Press, 2003), 48 - 51.
3. Kenneth E. Hagin, Love: The Way to Victory (Tulsa, Oklahoma: Faith Library Publications, 2001), 2 - 9, 38 - 42.
4. James Richards, We Still Kiss (New Kensington, Pennsylvania: Whitaker House, 2002), 53 - 66.
5. Ibid., 113.
6. Ibid., 60 - 61 and Lana Packer, Women Making a Difference in Marriage (Nashville, Tennessee: Lifeway Press, 2003), 38 - 41.
7. Dave and Joyce Ames, Stress Free Marriage (Eastbourne, E. Sussex: Crossway Books, 1991), 77 - 79.
by Dag Heward-Mills
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Blessing a Wedding in the Church Office
Some couples encounter circumstances which do not allow them to have a full-blown wedding ceremony in the church. For instance, there may be financial hindrances preventing a regular wedding ceremony at the time. Also, publicly known immorality and pregnancies may necessitate such an event. Some couples also prefer a quieter ceremony.
It is under such circumstances that you may have to use this set of vows.
This ceremony is a little different from the regular ones as the couple may wish to have a Standard Wedding Ceremony later on. This ceremony is held in the church office and must be brief.
1. OPENING PRAYER
2. SONG: To God Be the Glory
Chorus:
To God be the glory, Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord!
Great things He hath done Let the earth hear His voice
So loved He the world that Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord,
He gave us His Son Let the people rejoice
Who yielded His life O come to the Father
An atonement for sin through Jesus the Son
And opened the life gate And give Him the glory great things
that all may go in He hath done
By Fanny Crossby (1875)
3. INTRODUCTION (Couple stands, and witnesses sit.)
MINISTER: We are assembled today under the banner of the Lord to bless this marriage. The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord and He delighteth in his way. Except the Lord build the house, we know that we build in vain. We therefore, come before the Lord at this time:
i. To acknowledge Him in this marriage as the Giver of all good things.
ii. To fulfil all righteousness as required by the laws of the land and the Church.
iii. To ask the Lord for His hand, His favour, and His blessing upon the marriage between ...(Name of bridegroom)... and ...(Name of bride)....
4. LEGAL CHARGE
MINISTER: I require and charge you both that if you know of any just cause why you may not be legally married, you should, with all sincerity say so now, not forgetting that any two coupled together in contradiction to the Word of God are not joined together by God neither is such matrimony lawful.
MINISTER: (Bridegroom repeating after.) I solemnly declare / that I do not know of any lawful impediment / why I ...(Name of bridegroom)... / may not be joined in matrimony to / ...(Name of bride)....
MINISTER: (Bride repeating after.) I solemnly declare / that I do not know of any lawful impediment / why I ...(Name of bride)... / may not be joined in matrimony to / ...(Name of bridegroom)....
5. “I DO” VOWS
MINISTER: (To Bridegroom.) ...(Name of bridegroom)..., do you, before God and all these witnesses choose ...(Name of bride)... as your wedded wife? And do you promise to love her as Christ loved the church and give yourself for her as long as you live?
GROOM: I do
MINISTER: (To Bride.) ...(Name of bride)..., do you, before God and all these witnesses choose ...(Name of bridegroom)... as your wedded husband? And do you promise to submit yourself to him as unto the Lord and love him as long as you live?
BRIDE: I do
6. GIVING AWAY OF BRIDE
MINISTER: Who gives the bride away into marriage to this man?
BRIDE’S FATHER: I do
7. EXCHANGE OF VOWS (Instruct couple to face each other)
MINISTER: (Ask Bridegroom to repeat) I, ...(Name of bridegroom)..., / take you, ...(Name of bride)... / to be my wedded wife; / to have and to hold / from this day forward. / To care for and to encourage, / in prosperity and adversity. / I promise to live for Christ. / I promise to love and trust you forever. / And with this commitment, / I pledge to you my life.
MINISTER: (Ask Bride to repeat) I, ...(Name of bride)..., / take you, ...(Name of bridegroom)... / to be my wedded husband; / to have and to hold / from this day forward. / To care for and to encourage, / in prosperity and adversity. / I promise to live for Christ. / I promise to love and trust you forever. / And with this commitment, / I pledge to you my life.
8. INTRODUCTION TO RING SERVICE
MINISTER: May I have the rings please? These rings are symbols of your commitment of love. They are made out of gold, expressing the purity that should always be in your marriage. You are going to exchange these rings in full awareness of the deep implications thereof.
9 PRAYER OVER RINGS
MINISTER: Lord, we dedicate and sanctify these rings today. May they be symbols of true love and tokens of commitment between these two. Bless these rings now in the name of Jesus. Amen.
10. EXCHANGE OF RINGS
MINISTER: (Present ring to Bridegroom and ask him to repeat) I give this ring / as a visible token of my love. / I give it to you / as a visible token / of my permanent commitment / and dedication to you. / From today I am yours / and you are mine. / I love you with all my heart/ and I will always love you. / In the name of Jesus. Amen.
MINISTER: (Presents ring to Bride and ask her to repeat) I give this ring / as a visible token of my love / and I give it to you / as my own life. / From today, I am yours / and you are mine / I love you with all my heart / and I will always love you. / In the name of the Lord Jesus. Amen.
11. PRAYER, AND LAYING ON OF HANDS: (Bride and bridegroom kneel)
12. PRONOUNCEMENT OF MARRIAGE (Couple stands)
MINISTER: For as much as...(Name of bridegroom)..., and ...(Name of bride)... have openly declared their intention to keep all the vows they have made to each other today, it is my privilege as a minister of the gospel and by the authority vested in me by the Lord Jesus Christ to pronounce from this day forward, that your marriage is blessed by the Lord and you are husband and wife before man and before God. In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. Amen.
13. BRIDEGROOM SALUTES BRIDE (Ask the Bridegroom to kiss his Bride)
14. HYMN 2: O Perfect Love
O perfect Love, O perfect Life,
All human thought transcending, Be Thou their full assurance,
Lowly we kneel in prayer Of tender charity and steadfast faith,
before Thy throne, Of patient hope
That theirs may be, and quiet, brave endurance,
the love which knows no ending With childlike trust
Whom Thou forevermore that fears nor pain nor death.
dost join in one. By Dorothy F. Gurney (1883)
15. SIGNING OF REGISTER/OFFERING
16. BIBLE READING: (Optional)
Genesis 2:18-25
And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.
And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
17. SERMON
18. CHARGE AND BLESSING (Couple stands, witnesses sit)
MINISTER: I want to speak a word of blessing and exhortation to you, as you move on as husband and wife.
You shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, and you shall bring forth your fruit in its season.
Your leaves shall not whither, and whatsoever you do shall prosper, if you shall hearken unto the voice of the Lord. Be a husband and wife that walk not in the counsel of ungodly people.
He is your glory and He shall be the lifter of your head. At thy latter end the Lord shall enlarge thee and shall have mercy upon thee.
Though thy beginnings be small, thy latter end shall be greatly increased. In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. Amen.
19. PRAYER OF BLESSING
20. HYMN 3: Great is Thy Faithfulness
Chorus
Great is thy faithfulness, Great is thy faithfulness,
O Lord my Father great is thy faithfulness
There is no shadow of turning with Thee Morning by morning
Thou changest not, new mercies I see
thy compassions they fail not All I have needed
As thou hast been thou forever will be Thy hand hath provided
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me
By Thomas Chrisholm
21. PRESENTATION TO WITNESSES
MINISTER: (To Bride and Groom:) Please turn and face the witnesses herein gathered.
MINISTER: (To Witnesses:) Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Mr. and Mrs. ...(Last name of bridegroom)....
22. COUPLE RECESS
MINISTER: Shall we sing as they march out.
23. HYMN 4: How Great Thou Art
Chorus
O Lord my God, When I in awesome wonder Then sings my soul,
Consider all the worlds thy hand has made My Saviour God to thee
I see the stars, I hear the roaring thunder How great thou art
Thy power throughout the universe displayed How great thou art
By Carl Boberg, Translated by Stuart K Kine (1949)
by Dag Heward-Mills
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What it Means to be Married to A Combo
Some people get married to a person who is a combination of many things. She may be a combination of a
Wild Cat, a Prison Officer, a Quarrelsome Queen and the Uncaring Independent.
The Combo: A Quarrelsome Queen
The husband of the “Combo” has many issues in his marriage. He tries to address them, deal with them, handle them and negotiate with her for years but he still does not win her love.
In this kind of marriage the husband suffers terribly and deeply. Every single issue that comes up in the marriage is not simply between man and wife but between man, wife, mother- in-law and sisters-in-law. There is nothing like a private issue between husband and wife. No argument with this wife is simply an argument with her. Every argument becomes an argument with her, her parents and her siblings. When there is an issue that builds up tension in the house, the tension is between husband, wife and the wife’s entire family. The husband is always criticized and compared to her younger sister’s husband who is a politician. This is constantly done by her mother and sister, and very often in the presence of the husband’s family.
In this marriage, the husband is made to feel that nothing he ever does is good. He tries to be supportive as a husband but absolutely nothing is appreciated. He would pay money for her to further her education. This will never be appreciated – he is rather told that he is not supportive.
He would even sell his car to get her a better car but it is still not appreciated and she would complain that he has bought her an old car. He can leave her in charge of all his money and never question what she uses it for but it is still regarded as nothing.
The Combo: The Accuser
Every night as soon as this husband falls asleep, the Combo would take his phone and go through all his messages. She, like John Wesley’s wife, would copy them, forward them to
others, delete some of the messages and even respond to some of the messages. When the aspersions are in full bloom, the phone searching comes on every single night.
The Combo: A Poor Performer
If you are married to such a Combo, there is almost never food in the house.
The husband who is married to a Combo is ALWAYS buying food or one thing or the other but never having food made for him at home. This husband exists on a diet of readymade noodles or readymade rice that has to be bought and brought home! He NEVER has food at home.
Amazingly, the Combo turns out to be a dirty person. Pots with food can sit in the kitchen for over a week. If you opened the pots, you would find putrefied, rotten food turned into liquid with very thick
mould over it. Pots sit in the kitchen for over a month unwashed, until the “A1” husband decides to wash them himself. Hundreds of sachets of water that are used to cook or do other things in the house will sit in the kitchen on the sink, counter, floor and everywhere. HUNDREDS of plastic bags cover the floor. Sometimes, thick dust covers the floor and water drops make the kitchen muddy and filthy.
Unfortunately for the “A1” husband, dirty laundry are left in the washing basket for over three months and sometimes six months. Believe it or not, some of these husbands sometimes throw away clothes that have become awfully
mouldy.
Sometimes, half washed boxer shorts and singlets are left in a bucket in the bathroom for three months - till the water turns black.
Mattresses and pillows and other beddings that are taken out for airing never return to the house for months and months and months. Everything is simply left outside by this non-performing
Combo.
The Combo: A Wild Cat
When married to a quarrelling queen Combo, there are endless arguments. You will never be able to communicate and say “Let’s sit down and discuss like adults and address an issue. Let us try to simply address our problems.” Such discussions end up in tantrums, shouting and quarrelling. The
Combo would go off in a huff and you would wonder if she is mentally stable. She will break things, throw things against the wall, destroy things, cry and try to hurt
herself with sharp objects. Nothing the husband ever says to her is listened to. Every time there is a quarrel, she screams and shouts and cries and wails for the whole house to hear. The husband is constantly humiliated, disgraced, embarrassed, reduced to nothing in front of her family.
The Dangers
The husband who does not handle the pressures well may begin to masturbate and watch pornography. He starts making new friends to keep him company and cheer
himself up. Her
behaviour pushes him away and pushes him into a place he never thought he could be. He will try to talk with her but she will keep mocking him and accusing him.
At the end of a work season, when everyone is eager to go home, the husband remains silent because he is so afraid of going back home. Sometimes, during a trip away from home, the “A1” husband is unable to sleep when the thoughts of returning home come to him. He is so worried and afraid as he keeps wondering what would happen when he gets home. The journey home is often terrible, filled with anxiety, fear and dread.
He feels like a devil in his own house. One day, a nice “A1” husband was pushed to the wall and said to his wife, “I will kill you!” He had been pushed to the point of hatred.
by Dag Heward-Mills
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Warning: Beware of the Error of Elevating Wives
For three things THE EARTH IS DISQUIETED, and for four which it cannot bear: For a servant when he reigneth; and a fool when he is filled with meat; For AN ODIOUS WOMAN WHEN SHE IS MARRIED; and an handmaid that is heir to her mistress.
Proverbs 30:21-23
The error of elevating wives beyond the biblical prescription is contributing to divorce, confusion and conflict in the church. It is the error of crowning a “Queen of Confusion” (QOC).
One pastor of a massive church lamented to me, after his wife divorced him, “I elevated my wife and made us co-partners, co-founders and co-pastors. That is why she challenged me and fought me so much. She wrote books and sold them in the bookshop. She was an author, and so was I! She was a pastor, and so was I! She was a speaker, and so was I! We seemed to be equal and that was my greatest mistake. She was the most
unsubmissive and pretentious creature you could ever imagine.” How sad!
Scriptures about marriage seem to lower and suppress women, giving them a very low position in relation to men. Generally speaking, the scriptures do not make husbands and wives equal in the marriage. I also do not know of any scriptures that make pastors and the pastor’s wife equal in ministry. Yet, modern Christians love to present pastors and their wives as co-founders, co-partners, co-pastors, co-leaders, co-authors, co-speakers and co-directors.
Why is it that modern Christians disregard these scriptures? Why do modern Christians act as though the Bible is mistaken in what it said about women? Why is this? Is it right?
Apostle Paul was very strong about controlling the women in our midst. It is the only issue on which he challenges all who claim to be prophets or spiritual. He challenges them to acknowledge that women are supposed to be quiet and in subjection. Indeed, it is when women are in subjection that they are happiest. Nasty, quarrelling and discontented women are actually unhappy as they fight to be what they are not.
Let your WOMEN KEEP SILENCE in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.
What? Came the word of God out from you? Or came it unto you only? IF ANY MAN
THINK HIMSELF TO BE A PROPHET, OR SPIRITUAL, LET HIM ACKNOWLEDGE THAT THE THINGS THAT I WRITE UNTO YOU ARE THE COMMANDMENTS OF THE LORD.
1 Corinthians 14:34-37
Why does the Bible say the woman is to be silent and in subjection? It is to avoid the mistake of crowning and elevating a “
Poor Performer”, a “Wild Cat”, a “Jezebel”, a “Quarrelsome Queen” and giving her great power. It is to avoid the giving of a seat of authority and power to such a wicked person.
The model of ideal and equal partnership of couples in ministry is not the Bible picture. It is nice to see these equal partnerships, but you do not see this picture of equal couples in the Bible.
Why should a woman who does not look after her own children be crowned and empowered? Why should a woman who charges her husband a fee for having sex be elevated and empowered? Why should a Jezebel be glorified and enthroned in the church? Why should an accuser be
honoured and lifted up in the midst of the congregation?
To empower and glorify a fool is to disturb the world with confusion! Placing inappropriate people on a throne of glory is to disquiet the earth. The reason why your ministry is so small is because you are “wiser than God”. No one is more righteous than the Word of God. You will only live to confirm its validity. You will live to confirm that the Bible is true.
by Dag heward-Mills
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Strange Women in the Bible
A strange woman is a person who corrupts and spoils the church, and the ministries of individuals. The Bible has many examples of women that were used as weapons to corrupt and destroy God’s servants.
Seven Strange Women of the Bible
1. THE CLASSIC STRANGE WOMAN: THE STRANGER, THE HUNTER, THE EVIL WOMAN
For the lips of A STRANGE WOMAN drop as an honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil:
But her end is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a twoedged sword.
Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold on hell.
Lest thou shouldest ponder the path of life, her ways are moveable, that thou canst not know them.
Hear me now therefore, O ye children, and depart not from the words of my mouth.
Remove thy way far from her, and come not nigh the door of her house:
Lest thou give thine honour unto others, and thy years unto the cruel:
Lest strangers be filled with thy wealth; and thy labours be in the house of a stranger;
And thou mourn at the last, when thy flesh and thy body are consumed,
And say, How have I hated instruction, and my heart despised reproof;
And have not obeyed the voice of my teachers, nor inclined mine ear to them that instructed me!
Proverbs 5:3-13
To keep thee from THE EVIL WOMAN, from the flattery of the tongue of A STRANGE WOMAN.
Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.
For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread: and THE ADULTERESS WILL HUNT FOR THE PRECIOUS LIFE.
Proverbs 6:24-26
Keep my commandments, and live; and my law as the apple of thine eye. Bind them upon thy fingers, write them upon the table of thine heart.
Say unto wisdom, Thou art my sister; and call understanding thy kinswoman: That they may keep thee from the strange woman, from the stranger which flattereth with her words.
Proverbs 7:2-5
These passages are the basis of this book. They outline the characteristics of a strange woman and the effect she will have on a person. Remember three things about the classic strange woman.
Remember that she is a stranger; you do not really know her. She tells you part of her story to keep you happy and to deceive you into thinking that you know who you are with.
Remember that she is an evil person no matter how beautiful she looks. Beauty is not usually associated with evil. We associate beauty with nice and happy things. But the Bible calls her an evil woman. When you meet a strange woman, remember that you are encountering well-packaged and well-presented evil.
Also remember that she is actually hunting you, even though you may think you are after her. It’s amazing, but the strange woman is actually hunting a man the way a lion would hunt for an antelope.
2. LADY TAMAR.
Tamar was a strange woman because she made God’s servant have a
child with her even though he had no intention of having a child with her. She knew exactly what she was doing and before Judah was aware of what was going on, he had impregnated her. A woman who lies in wait and tricks you into having sex and into having a child is also a strange woman.
Why would a man think that you are a prostitute? Why would a man think that you are available for sex? This lady, Tamar, gave these two messages very successfully. Watch out for women who give these messages.
And she put her widow’s garments off from her, and covered her with a vail, and wrapped herself, and sat in an open place, which is by the way to Timnath; for she saw that Shelah was grown, and she was not given unto him to wife.
WHEN JUDAH SAW HER, HE THOUGHT HER TO BE AN HARLOT; because she had covered her face.
And he turned unto her by the way, and said, Go to, I pray thee, let me come in unto thee; (for he knew not that she was his daughter in law.) And she said, What wilt thou give me, that thou mayest come in unto me?
And he said, I will send thee a kid from the flock. And she said, Wilt thou give me a pledge, till thou send it?
Genesis 38:14-17
3. LADY MICHAL
Lady Michal was given to charm King David and to cause him to fall into a trap. When a woman is on a mission to snare a man, she is a strange woman. The Bible tells us that the woman, Michal, was intended to be a snare to David. No wonder he shook her off in the day she mocked him for dancing before the Lord. Perhaps he was led to disconnect from her because her whole existence was to be a snare to King David.
Now Michal, Saul’s daughter, loved David. When they told Saul, the thing was agreeable to him.
And Saul thought, “I WILL GIVE HER TO HIM THAT SHE MAY BECOME A SNARE TO HIM, and that the hand of the Philistines may be against him.” Therefore Saul said to David, “For a second time you may be my son-in-law today.
1 Samuel 18:20-21 (NASB)
4. LADY DELILAH
Delilah is perhaps the most well-known strange woman of the Bible. Her conquest of Samson and her destruction of his ministry is a famous but sad story. Through her soft laps and enticing words she overcame the reasoning faculties of Samson and brought him to his knees. Oh, how powerful is the lure of sex to the starving and desirous man! It is this weakness of all men that the strange woman preys upon.
And it came to pass afterward, that he loved a woman in the valley of Sorek, whose name was Delilah.
And the lords of the Philistines came up unto her, and said unto her, ENTICE HIM, AND SEE WHEREIN HIS GREAT STRENGTH LIETH, and by what means we may prevail against him, that we may bind him to afflict him: and we will give thee every one of us eleven hundred pieces of silver.
And Delilah said to Samson, Tell me, I pray thee, wherein thy great strength lieth, and wherewith thou mightest be bound to afflict thee.
Judges 16:4-6
And when Delilah saw that he had told her all his heart, she sent and called for the lords of the Philistines, saying, Come up this once, for he hath shewed me all his heart. Then the lords of the Philistines came up unto her, and brought money in their hand.
And SHE MADE HIM SLEEP UPON HER KNEES; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head; and she began to afflict him, and his strength went from him.
Judges 16:18-19
5. THE STRANGE WOMEN OF BALAAM
But I have a few things against thee, because thou hast there them that hold THE DOCTRINE OF BALAAM, WHO TAUGHT Balac to cast a stumblingblock before the children of Israel, to eat things sacrificed unto idols, and TO COMMIT FORNICATION.
Revelation 2:14
These women of Midian were used by the prophet Balaam to entice the men of Israel to have sex with them. When they had sex with the women they fell out of favour with God and opened the door for the devil to destroy them. Once again you will see the pattern is the same; use the strange woman who does not mind sleeping with any man to cause the precious life to fall. God’s judgement against the strange woman is usually very severe.
And Moses said unto them, HAVE YE SAVED ALL THE WOMEN ALIVE?
Behold, THESE CAUSED THE CHILDREN OF ISRAEL, THROUGH THE COUNSEL OF BALAAM, TO COMMIT TRESPASS against the LORD in the matter of Peor, and there was a plague among the congregation of the LORD.
Now therefore kill every male among the little ones, and KILL EVERY WOMAN that hath known man by lying with him.
Numbers 31:15-17
6. STRANGE WOMEN OF THE INVADER.
But he who comes against him will do as he pleases, and no one will be able to withstand him; he will also stay for a time in the Beautiful Land, with destruction in his hand.
And he will set his face to come with the power of his whole kingdom, bringing with him a proposal of peace which he will put into effect; he WILL ALSO GIVE HIM THE DAUGHTER OF WOMEN TO RUIN IT. But she will not take a stand for him or be on his side.
Daniel 11:16-17 (NASB)
In this Scripture, a young woman was given as an act of war. Knowing the power of sexual desire as well as the power of women to corrupt, the women were openly used as weapons of war to destroy the enemy. Every minister of the gospel must recognize some women as weapons of war deployed against him.
7. THE STRANGE WOMAN OF BABYLON
For true and righteous are his judgments: for he hath judged the great whore, WHICH DID CORRUPT THE EARTH WITH HER FORNICATION, and hath avenged the blood of his servants at her hand.
Revelation 19:2
And IN HER WAS FOUND THE BLOOD of prophets, and of saints, and of all that were slain upon the earth.
Revelation 18:24
Rejoice over her, thou heaven, and ye holy apostles and prophets; for GOD HATH AVENGED YOU ON HER.
Revelation 18:20
The woman of Babylon is shown in Revelation chapters 18 and 19 to be a person who is filled with demons because of her fornications. She is judged for living deliciously and having sex with so many kings of the earth. Not only did this woman have sex with many kings, but she also destroyed the lives of holy apostles and prophets. Through this woman’s life huge ministries were destroyed and many souls could not be saved. It is no wonder that her judgement is so severe in the book of Revelation. Perhaps a great lesson from these texts should go to the women who lend themselves to destroy men through sex.
The sexual leanings and tendencies of men are well known by experienced strange women who exploit them and destroy them through that. It seems that God recognizes the weak frame of the men and rather poured out his judgement on the strange woman of Babylon. In the final revelation we see how God was so angry with the strange woman of Babylon. He destroyed her with much fire and brimstone. The kings of the earth stood aside and marvelled at such destruction meted out to the woman. God called the apostles and prophets His holy apostles and prophets. All strange women should take note of this word because it is a prophecy of the doom of all strange women who tempt God’s servants.
by Dag Heward-Mills
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Six Goals of Abigailism
1. To prevent your husband from doing wrong or committing sin.
2. To prevent your entire family from being destroyed.
3. To preserve your marriage.
4. To preserve your relationship with God and the church.
5. To preserve your ministry.
6. To prevent a confrontation between your husband and the church.
And David heard in the wilderness that Nabal did shear his sheep. And David sent out ten young men, and David said unto the young men, Get you up to Carmel, and go to Nabal, and greet him in my name: And thus shall ye say to him that liveth in prosperity, Peace be both to thee, and peace be to thine house, and peace be unto all that thou hast. And now I have heard that thou hast shearers: now thy shepherds which were with us, we hurt them not, neither was there ought missing unto them, all the while they were in Carmel. Ask thy young men, and they will shew thee. Wherefore let the young men find favour in thine eyes: for we come in a good day: give, I pray thee, whatsoever cometh to thine hand unto thy servants, and to thy son David.
And when David’s young men came, they spake to Nabal according to all those words in the name of David, and ceased. And Nabal answered David’s servants, and said, Who is David? and who is the son of Jesse? there be many servants now a days that break away every man from his master. Shall I then take my bread, and my water, and my flesh that I have killed for my shearers, and give it unto men, whom I know not whence they be?
So David’s young men turned their way, and went again, and came and told him all those sayings. And David said unto his men, Gird ye on every man his sword. And they girded on every man his sword; and David also girded on his sword: and there went up after David about four hundred men; and two hundred abode by the stuff.
But one of the young men told Abigail, Nabal’s wife, saying, Behold, David sent messengers out of the wilderness to salute our master; and he railed on them. But the men were very good unto us, and we were not hurt, neither missed we anything, as long as we were conversant with them, when we were in the fields: They were a wall unto us both by night and day, all the while we were with them keeping the sheep. Now therefore know and consider what thou wilt do; for evil is determined against our master, and against all his household: for he is such a son of Belial, that a man cannot speak to him.
Then Abigail made haste, and took two hundred loaves, and two bottles of wine, and five sheep ready dressed, and five measures of parched corn, and an hundred clusters of raisins, and two hundred cakes of figs, and laid them on asses. And she said unto her servants, Go on before me; behold, I come after you. But she told not her husband Nabal.
And it was so, as she rode on the ass, that she came down by the covert of the hill, and, behold, David and his men came down against her; and she met them. Now David had said, Surely in vain have I kept all that this fellow hath in the wilderness, so that nothing was missed of all that pertained unto him: and he hath requited me evil for good. So and more also do God unto the enemies of David, if I leave of all that pertain to him by the morning light any that pisseth against the wall.
And when Abigail saw David, she hasted, and lighted off the ass, and fell before David on her face, and bowed herself to the ground, And fell at his feet, and said, Upon me, my lord, upon me let this iniquity be: and let thine handmaid, I pray thee, speak in thine audience, and hear the words of thine handmaid. Let not my lord, I pray thee, regard this man of Belial, even Nabal: for as his name is, so is he; Nabal is his name, and folly is with him: but I thine handmaid saw not the young men of my lord, whom thou didst send.
Now therefore, my lord, as the LORD liveth, and as thy soul liveth, seeing the LORD hath withholden thee from coming to shed blood, and from avenging thyself with thine own hand, now let thine enemies, and they that seek evil to my lord, be as Nabal.
And now this blessing which thine handmaid hath brought unto my lord, let it even be given unto the young men that follow my lord. I pray thee, forgive the trespass of thine handmaid: for the LORD will certainly make my lord a sure house; because my lord fighteth the battles of the LORD, and evil hath not been found in thee all thy days. Yet a man is risen to pursue thee, and to seek thy soul: but the soul of my lord shall be bound in the bundle of life with the LORD thy God; and the souls of thine enemies, them shall he sling out, as out of the middle of a sling.
And it shall come to pass, when the LORD shall have done to my lord according to all the good that he hath spoken concerning thee, and shall have appointed thee ruler over Israel; That this shall be no grief unto thee, nor offence of heart unto my lord, either that thou hast shed blood causeless, or that my lord hath avenged himself: but when the LORD shall have dealt well with my lord, then remember thine handmaid.
And David said to Abigail, Blessed be the LORD God of Israel, which sent thee this day to meet me: And blessed be thy advice, and blessed be thou, which hast kept me this day from coming to shed blood, and from avenging myself with mine own hand.
1 Samuel 25:4-33
In this passage, you see Abigail’s attempt to preserve both her husband and her relationship with God’s servant. It was clear that her husband was doing something wrong. You do not have to be very intelligent to see that her husband was hard-hearted and insensitive to the things of God.
Yet, she was married to him and there was no way they were going to break up. It was not the will of God for her to break up!
A daughter of destiny wants to preserve her marriage. A woman with direction also wants to preserve her ministry. Her relationship with God is very important and she is not prepared to give it up for anything. How do you balance these two when you are married to a carnal Christian or an unbeliever?
As you read these few lines, please imbibe the wisdom that comes from above and learn the strategy that Abigail adopted for the ministry.
The Bible says that there is nothing new under the sun. The types of husbands that existed in times past are the same types of husbands that you find today.
Churlishness is as prevalent today as it was in Abigail’s time. That is why every woman needs the art of Abigailism today. There is another reason why many women need the art of Abigailism. This is because women are more sensitive to the things of God. They often pick up the move of the Spirit before the men do.
Abigail had heard that Samuel anointed David. She accepted immediately that he was going to be the next king.
And it shall come to pass, when the Lord shall have done to my lord according to all the good that he hath spoken concerning thee, and shall have appointed thee ruler over Israel; That this shall be no grief unto thee, nor offence of heart unto my lord, either that thou hast shed blood causeless, or that my lord hath avenged himself: but when the Lord shall have dealt well with my lord, then remember thine handmaid.
1 Samuel 25:30, 31
Perhaps there were many other people who had heard of David’s anointing. Obviously, Nabal did not believe in such absurdities. He had decided to stamp out all foolish young men. He described David as a rebel. He branded him as a young, uneducated, self-appointed pastor who was chasing after people’s wives. He would not allow any members of his family to attend a church that was younger than he. Does this sound familiar to you?
And Nabal answered David’s servants, and said, Who is David? and who is the son of Jesse? there be many servants now a days that break away every man from his master. Shall I then take my bread, and my water, and my flesh that I have killed for my shearers, and give it unto men, whom I know not whence they be?
So David’s young men turned their way, and went again, and came and told him all those sayings.
1 Samuel 25:10-12
What exactly did Abigail do? Let us take it step by step.
by Dag Heward-Mills
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Daughter, You Made It! Daughter, Be Beautiful
And the damsel was very fair to look upon, a virgin, neither had any man known her: and she went down to the well, and filled her pitcher, and came up.
Genesis 24:16
Rebekah was a beautiful woman. There is no woman on this Earth who has not been created in beauty and glory. “Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder”, they say. As you read this book, I wish to inform you that you are beautiful! If you believe this, then it will help you to know how powerful you are.
But Rebekah did not allow her beauty to lead her into sin. A virtuous woman may be beautiful but will not yield to the many overtures that are made by men.
The virtuous woman is a beautiful virgin. She is a beauty and at the same time she is holy. Can you be beautiful and wait for your marriage? Notice what the Bible says in Genesis 24:16. She was beautiful, yet no man had had anything to do with her.
Daughter, Be Homely
…and she went down to the well, and filled her pitcher, and came up.
Genesis 24:16
Rebekah was involved in practical housework. Many beautiful women are just concerned about their hair, their nails and their dresses. Because of this, they are of no practical use in their homes. They cannot cook nor do homely things. Are you just a beautiful woman?
Did you know that the power of physical beauty does not last very long? Rebekah was a woman who was kind. She was a virtuous woman. She spoke respectfully to the servant Eliezer.
And she said, Drink, my lord: and she hasted, and let down her pitcher upon her hand, and gave him drink.
Genesis 24:18
Notice how Rebekah refers to Eliezer as lord. The virtuous woman is someone who has good manners and is respectful. Daughter, there is no need to be angry at your servants everyday. There is no need to rave and rant around the house. Treat your servants with respect and God will bless you for that. Always remember that you could have been that servant. You could have been on the other side of the fence.
Daughter, Be Hospitable
Rebekah was very hospitable.
She said moreover unto him, We have both straw and provender enough, and room to lodge in.
Genesis 24:25
She did not mind having guests. In fact, she welcomed guests. A virtuous woman is someone who welcomes guests and treats them nicely. Think of how you would like to be treated if you were a guest in somebody’s home.
Daughter, You Must Decide
And they called Rebekah, and said unto her, Wilt thou go with this man? And she said, I will go.
Genesis 24:58
Many women cannot make decisions. They are ruled by their emotions and their feelings. Because of this, they are left out of the blessings of God. Daughter, God did not give you only feelings. He did not only give you a heart. He gave you a mind.
Rebekah was asked whether she would marry Isaac. She had not even seen him before. Some people think that she had no part in the decision that was taken. But as you see in the Scripture above, she had to decide whether she would go or not! She based her decision on facts and wisdom. She married a good man and God blessed her. Sometimes you must allow your mind to lead the way and let your heart follow later.
Daughter, there are not always many suitors available. When God brings a blessing to you, do not discard it with flimsy reasons. It may be your one and only chance to be married. Seek good counsel. Use your mind and be a woman with direction. Daughter, make a decision and God will bless you.
And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death.
Genesis 24:67
When Rebekah eventually met with her husband, the Bible says she became his wife. She rose to the occasion and became a happy wife. She became a famous woman and a queen because she was a wise decision-maker. There are two types of women in this world: women who make wise decisions and women who make emotional decisions. When you are a woman who makes wise decisions you will become the envy of all other women.
Daughter, Be Modest
…therefore she took a vail, and covered herself.
Genesis 24:65
When Rebekah met up with her future husband, she covered herself decently. She knew that she was not yet married. It was not yet time to expose herself. A virtuous woman covers herself decently with appropriate clothing.
Woman, cover yourself when necessary. Do not expose what must not be exposed. Perhaps you think you are being fashionable by exposing your body. Much of the fashion of this world is designed by the devil himself. It is designed to promote a culture of immorality and licentiousness.
If you follow what the world is doing, you will often end up in sin. Please read the following verse and see for yourself. The prince of the air is directing the course of the world.
Wherein time past ye walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience:
Ephesians 2:2
Daughter You Can Make It!
And Esau was forty years old when he took to wife Judith the daughter of Beeri the Hittite, and Bashemath the daughter of Elon the Hittite: Which were a grief of mind unto Isaac and to Rebekah.
Genesis 26:34, 35
No woman is exempt from the host of family problems that arise. Rebekah had a son who caused her much grief. A virtuous woman will also have problems.
God did not promise us a bed of roses. But he promised to help us and lift us up. Woman, do not be discouraged because you face problems.
There is nothing new under the sun. You are not the first woman to be beaten by your husband, and you will not be the last. Woman, you are not the only woman whose husband is unfaithful. Woman, you are not the only one whose husband is not saved. Woman, you are not the only one who is not married. Rise up with the Word of God and use your spiritual weapons to overcome every attack of the enemy.
Listen to tapes everyday and your faith will be built up. Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God. Faith is the shield that quenches all darts thrown against your life. The more faith you have, the bigger your shield of defence will be.
Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.
Ephesians 6:16
Daughter, Don’t Be Biased
And Rebekah heard when Isaac spake to Esau his son. And Esau went to the field to hunt for venison, and to bring it. And Rebekah spake unto Jacob her son, saying, Behold, I heard thy father speak unto Esau thy brother, saying, Bring me venison, and make me savoury meat, that I may eat, and bless thee before the Lord before my death.
Now therefore, my son, obey my voice according to that which I command thee. Go now to the flock, and fetch me from thence two good kids of the goats; and I will make them savoury meat for thy father, such as he loveth: And thou shalt bring it to thy father, that he may eat, and that he may bless thee before his death.
Genesis 27:5-10
Rebekah obviously had her favourite; she preferred Jacob to Esau. When Isaac wanted to bless his firstborn son, Rebekah was not happy that her favourite was being left out. She manipulated events so that Jacob could have a greater blessing.
The Bible teaches us that it is not wise to be partial or hypocritical. Many parents do not know that children can see through these things. Partiality stirs up much hatred.
But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.
James 3:17
Daughter be wise! Govern your home with fairness and equity.
Daughter, Do Not Interfere
Rebekah interfered with the plan of God Almighty. God has laid down his Words with a special blessing for the firstborn. However, through the interference of Rebekah, God’s plan concerning the firstborn did not materialize.
There are women who interfere with the ministry of the Lord Jesus. I want you to know that this only brings a curse upon your life. Rebekah knew that she was inviting a curse upon her life and her son’s life. That is why she told her son, “Do not worry, I will receive the curse for you.”
And his mother said unto him, Upon me be thy curse, my son: only obey my voice, and go fetch me them.
Genesis 27:13
Perhaps your husband is destined to be a great man of God. Allow the plan of God to come to pass. Perhaps God is going to use you to do great things for him. Allow the plan of God to happen. Perhaps God wants you and your family to join a particular church, do not allow pride to keep you away. Do not interfere with God’s plan for your life. Let your children be godly and spiritual.
Daughter, Maintain Good Relationships
Rebekah was no longer living with her family. She had a brother called Laban.
And Rebekah had a brother, and his name was Laban: and Laban ran out unto the man, unto the well.
Genesis 24:29
Even though she had not seen her brother for many years, she kept a good relationship with him. Even though there was great distance between them, she maintained a healthy relationship. Woman, do not disrupt the relationships that God has given to you.
Some women tend to quarrel with people all the time. They are not able to keep relationships for a long time. But a virtuous woman is able to maintain every relationship that God gives to her.
Several years later, Rebekah needed someone she could send her son to for protection. She remembered that she had a brother somewhere and she sent Jacob to him.
Now therefore, my son, obey my voice; and arise, flee thou to Laban my brother to Haran; And tarry with him a few days, until thy brother’s fury turn away; Until thy brother’s anger turn away from thee, and he forget that which thou hast done to him: then I will send, and fetch thee from thence: why should I be deprived also of you both in one day?
Genesis 27:43-45
Perhaps one day you will need the help of an old friend. Perhaps one day you will need to come back to the same pastor for help. Be careful with the good relationships that God gives you. Be a woman who prevents quarrels and conflicts.
A virtuous woman is someone who brings peace.
Daughter, Don’t Kill Yourself
And Rebekah said to Isaac, I am weary of my life because of the daughters of Heth: if Jacob take a wife of the daughters of Heth, such as these which are of the daughters of the land, what good shall my life do me?
Genesis 27:46
Woman, please do not kill yourself with your confessions. There are many things that are happening that do not bring joy. Do not allow a spirit of depression to come over you. When you begin to say, “I am weary of my life”, you are inviting a spirit of death into your life. Do not allow depression to kill you.
Many things can bring depression. Perhaps you have married a man who has been unfaithful. Perhaps you have discovered other illegitimate children that your husband has. Do not sink into a sea of despair and hopelessness. Remember this, no man can satisfy you so do not expect fulfilment from a man.
You must keep your eyes on the Lord. Do not kill yourself before your time with your own words.
Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.
Proverbs 18:21
Do not kill your marriage when it is not yet over. Many marriages are destroyed with the tongue. If you curse your marriage, it will be cursed. If you speak life into it, it will revive.
Daughter, do not give up!
Daughter, there is hope in God!
Daughter, I promise you: joy cometh in the morning! After every night, there is day. Everything has an end. There is an expiry date for every problem. The Bible teaches that there is a time for everything. There is a time to start and a time to end. There is a time for trouble but there is also a time for peace.
Your time of peace will surely come!
Daughter, you can make it!
by Dag Heward-Mills
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My Last Argument
This is my final argument against backsliding. In this chapter you will see in very real terms the folly of backsliding. You will hear the testimonies of real Christians who made it to the very end. You will also hear the last statements of the backslidden and lost souls, and what they said as they approached the gates of Hell. You will see how really terrible backsliding is.
In our walk with God there is a certain line that we must not cross. There is a point of no return. I have heard believers say that they will backslide, but will come back to the Lord after some time. They forget that there may be a point of no return.
The Point of No Return
We will all stand before the presence of God to account for our lives. When that time comes and you are ushered into the presence of God, what will you say?
Will you be ready? Will you have done what God wanted you to do?
A Christian brother was committing fornication when he heard a loud blast. He thought it was the sound of the trumpet heralding the return of Christ. So he jumped out of the bed, but was not caught up to heaven. He was so worried, because he thought that he had been left behind at the rapture. This anxious Christian was overreacting to the honk of a big bus. A backslider lives in fear and uncertainty.
God Wants to Reason with You
Come now, and let us REASON together…
Isaiah 1:18
God is a rational Being, and He wants to reason with you.
Many people think that when you deal with spiritual things you must put aside all reason and stop thinking rationally. But the Bible records that God wants us to reason with Him. If God tells you to reason, then He must be a God who thinks logically and sequentially!
I am going to reason with you and argue with you about backsliding. You could call it “Arguments for and against backsliding”.
I will show you certain people who were happy and full of joy as they entered into the rest of God. These were Christians who served the Lord and did not fall away.
On the other hand, I will show you what some dying backsliders said as they left this earth. These testimonies alone should make you decide never, never, never to backslide.
The Saints
First, I want you to notice what Bible saints had to say when they were moving from this world to the next.
Apostle Paul
Apostle Paul was in prison when he knew that his time of death was near. He said, "For to me…to die is gain." In other words he was happy to be dying. How many people are happy to die? If you are confident of your relationship with God you will not fear death.
Jacob
When the Patriarch Jacob was dying in Genesis 49:33, the Bible declares that after commanding his sons, "…He gathered up his feet into the bed, and yielded up the ghost..."
What a way to go! He knew that he was going. He had time to instruct his children with confidence. After commanding his sons, he gathered his feet onto the bed and died. You see, the death of the righteous is very different from the death of the wicked. Balaam the prophet said;
...Let me die the death of the righteous...
Numbers 23:10
Now let's study how some ordinary people, after living a life without backsliding went on happily to be with the Lord.
Ignatius
Ignatius lived in 100 AD. He was the Bishop of Antioch, and a personal disciple of John the Apostle. He was sentenced to death, and as he was dying, his last words were, "I thank thee, oh God, that thou hast honoured me with thy Word, praise God!"
These were the last words of a man who was sentenced to death by burning at the stake. Some other people would have been screaming, defaecating and salivating. But this man died praising God!
Father Polycarp
Father Polycarp, another disciple of John lived during the reign of Emperor Nero. He was also sentenced to death. He was taken to court, and there, he was given an option to either denounce Jesus or be burnt to death. Polycarp suffered much for Christ's sake. The Roman Proconsul commanded him to swear allegiance to Ceasar, saying, "Swear, and I will set thee at liberty; reproach Christ." How courageous and magnificent was Polycarp's reply!
He said, "Eighty and six years have I now served Christ, and He has never done me the least wrong. How, then, can I blaspheme my King and my Saviour?"
Further efforts to make him deny his Lord failed and Polycarp was condemned to be burned at the stake. When the day came for him to be burned alive, those responsible for the burning wanted to nail him to the stake, but he protested: "Let me alone as I am: for He who has given me strength to endure the fire, will also enable me, without your securing me by nails, to stand without moving in the pile."
Finally he exclaimed, "Oh! Lord, Father of the Beloved Son Jesus Christ. I thank thee that thou has allotted me a place among the Martyrs."
Augustus Montague Toplady
Augustus Montague Toplady (1710-1778), will ever be famous as the author of one of the most evangelical hymns of the Eighteenth Century, "Rock of Ages," which was first published in 1776. During his final illness, Toplady was greatly supported by the consolations of the Gospel.
Near his last, awaking from a sleep, he said:
"Oh, what delights! Who can fathom the joy of the third Heaven? The sky is clear, there is no cloud. Come, Lord Jesus, come quickly!"
He died saying, "No mortal man can live after the glories which God has manifested to my soul."
And with those words he went to be with the Lord.
William Shakespeare
William Shakespeare (1564-1616), the world's outstanding figure in literature, of whose life, times and works a whole library of books has been written, lived near his Bible as the numerous quotations from it in his plays and dramas prove.
A Famous Man Knew the Lord
His end came when he was only 52 years old. His last will that was written in the year he died revealed his faith in God.
"I commend my soul into the hands of God my Creator, hoping and assuredly believing, through the only merits of Jesus Christ my Saviour, to be made partaker of life everlasting, and my body to the earth, whereof it is made."
Matthew Henry
Matthew Henry (1662-1714), was the eminent non-conformist theologian who gave the Church the devotional commentary which held a foremost place in its field. He died a week after his settlement in London as pastor of a church in Hackney, but his end was full of confidence in the Saviour's grace.
His last words were: "A life spent in the service of God, and in communion with Him, is the most comfortable life that anyone can lead in this present world."
John Wesley
John Wesley, the founder of the great Methodist Church said, "The best of all is, God is with us." I really love these last words of this great founder.
John Wesley, of whom it has been said that eternity alone will reveal what the world owes to his mighty ministry, was active to the very end. Until the end, he was full of praise, counsel and exhortations.
The Great Founder Dies in Peace
In his last moments with what remaining strength he had, he cried out twice over, in holy triumph:
"The best of all is, God is with us."
The very last word Wesley was heard to articulate was: "Farewell!"
Then, without a lingering groan, the evangelist of the highways and by-ways, beloved pastor of thousands, and father of the great Methodist Church, entered into the joy of his Lord.
Notice again, death to the confident Christian - It was a peaceful transition from one world to another!
Adoniram Judson
Adoniram Judson was a missionary to Africa. In fact, the first American missionary to Africa. He went to Burma, wrote and translated the Bible into the Burmese language.
The Departure of Africa's First American Missionary
He also wrote a dictionary for them. When he was dying he said, "No one ever left this world with brighter hopes or warmer feelings."
Don't be afraid, death will not surprise me. In spite of what I say, I feel so strong in Him."
This is a man who had strength when most people are weak. Let's all pray for such staying power, that we may all prevail until the very end.
Charles Bridgman
Charles Bridgman died at the age of twelve. As a child he loved to read his Bible and desired spiritual knowledge. Young Charles would often rebuke his brothers if they forgot to thank God at meal times. When he became ill, he was asked whether he would rather live or die, he answered "I desire to die, that I may go to my Saviour."
The Strength of a Little Boy
As his time drew near, his last words were: "...Into thy hands I commend my soul! Now close mine eyes. Forgive me, father, mother, brother, sister and all the world! Now I am well, my pain is almost gone, my joy is at hand. Lord have mercy upon me. O Lord, receive my soul unto Thee." How many young boys of today would speak the way this young man spoke?
Robert Bruce
Robert Bruce, one of the most distinguished men of his time, entered the ministry and became prominent in Edinburgh. Scrupulously maintaining the established norms of the church, he exposed himself to much persecution for the truth's sake.
At the time of his death, he called for the family Bible and said to his daughter:
"Cast up to me the eighth chapter of Romans, and set my finger on these words, 'I am persuaded that NEITHER DEATH NOR LIFE ... SHALL BE ABLE TO SEPARATE ME from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus my Lord.'"
Then Bruce said, "Is my finger on them?"
"Yes," said his daughter. Then he replied:
"Now God be with you, my children. I have just breakfasted with you, and shall sup with my Lord Jesus this night."
How exciting it must be when you know you are ready! There can be no reason to backslide when you hear these exciting testimonies.
And Many Others
Another dying Christian said, "How bright the room, how full of angels!"
Some other Christian said confidently, "The battle is fought. The battle is fought, and the victory is won." With those words, he went to be with the Lord.
Alexander II, full of divine faith, exclaimed: "I am sweeping through the gates, washed in the blood of the Lamb."
Someone else said, "I wish I had the power of writing to describe how pleasant it is to die."
Another one exclaimed, "Oh! That I could tell what joy I possess. I am full of rapture, the Lord shines with such power upon my soul. He is come, He is come."
One surviving believer said, "I shall soon be with Jesus. PERHAPS I AM TOO ANXIOUS!"
Is It Always Sweet to Die?
Another person said, "IT IS SWEET TO DIE." How will you be able to say, "It is sweet to die" when you have backslidden and you know judgement awaits you?
One Christian brother questioned, "Can this be death? What? It is better than living. TELL THEM I DIED HAPPILY IN JESUS."
Another one said, "They sing. The angels sing. IS THIS DYING? NO, IT IS SWEET LIVING."
One lucky backslider, Oliver, a doctor of philosophy, had lived the life of an infidel. But shortly before his death he repented and turned to the Saviour.
His final word was one of deep regret: "Would that I could undo the mischief I have done! I was more ardent to poison men with infidel principles than any Christian is to spread the doctrines of Christ."
The Sinners
Now, let us consider what some backsliders and sinners said as they were dying. The pride and rebellion of these wicked people did not help matters as they approached the gates of hell and accountability. Some of these people were backslidden Christians. They died as frightened, screaming and hopelessly lost souls. The first person I want us to consider in this category is a man called Tom Paine.
Tom Paine
Tom Paine (1737-1809) was considered to be a literary giant.
He wrote “The Age of Reason” and lived during the revivals of John Wesley and George Whitfield. He lived a life that was against God, and drew people away from God. I believe that this is one of the people who have made Europe so anti-Christ and atheist in their way of thinking. One person who witnessed his death said, "He is truly to be pitied."
Although he did not believe in God, at the hour of death on his bed he said, "I would give worlds, if I had them, that 'Age of Reason' had not been published. Oh! Lord help me. Oh! God, what have I done to suffer so much?" Then after that he said, "But there is no God. Yet if there is a God, what will become of me in the world after? If ever the devil had an agent, I have been that one."
He Was Frightened to Die
When an elderly woman attending him wanted to leave the room, he said, "Stay with me. For God's sake, I cannot bear to be left alone. For it is hell to be left alone."
The very last words of Tom Paine were, "My God, my God why has thou forsaken me?" And with these words he died. This is the death of the wicked. Utterly helpless and hopeless in the presence of a righteous God!
Voltaire
Whenever I go to Geneva, I cross over into Ferney- Voltaire, a little French village named after a noted infidel Voltaire (1694-1778). One night I drove with the pastor of my church in Geneva to look at a statue of this man.
I saw all of the tributes that were written to his name and all of the good works that he was said to have done for the community. But this man also lived and fought against Christianity.
The Man Who Cursed Christ
Notice what this noted French infidel said of Christ our Saviour: "Curse the wretch!" How on earth can you gather so much confidence to curse Christ and call Him a wretch?
He once boasted, "In twenty years, christianity will be no more. My single hand shall destroy the edifice it took twelve apostles to rear."
These are the people who have laid the foundations for the atheism that is so prevalent in Europe today.
Shortly after his death, the very house in which he printed his foul literature became the depot of the Geneva Bible Society. The nurse who attended Voltaire said: "For all the wealth in Europe I would not see another infidel die."
He Was Helpless and Desperate on His Deathbed
The physician, Trochim, who was with Voltaire at his death said that he cried out most desperately:
"I am abandoned by God and man! I will give you half of what I am worth if you will give me six month's life. Then I shall go to hell, and you will go with me. O Christ! O Jesus Christ!"
Notice the desperation and helplessness of this blasphemer as he descended into the abyss. He himself admitted that he was on his way to hell.
My dear Christian friends, let's make no mistakes about the reality of Heaven and Hell.
Thomas Hobbes
Thomas Hobbes (1588-1674), was a noted English political philosopher whose most famous work was “Leviathan”.
This cultured, clever skeptic corrupted many of the great men of his time. But what regret was his at the end of the road! What hopelessness permeated his last words:
"If I had the whole world, I would give it to live one day. I am about to take a leap in the dark!"
The good news is: Christians do not take leaps into the dark! When they die they go to Heaven!
Thomas Cromwell
Thomas Cromwell (1540), who became Earl of Essex, was the noted English statesman who was next to the King in power and influence. He was responsible for the digging up of the bones of Thomas Becket, and their burning as those of a traitor.
The Man Who Was Seduced
Over ambitious, Cromwell lost his influence and also his head, for he was executed. Historians tell us that as he died, he said in a speech:
"THE DEVIL IS READY TO SEDUCE US, AND I HAVE BEEN SEDUCED, but bear me witness that I die in the Catholic Faith."
Notice how people want to associate with God at the last moment. This man was insisting that he was in the faith!
Thomas Cork
Thomas Cork cried out in anguish as he was dying. He said, "Until this moment I thought there was neither a God nor a devil. But now I know, and I feel that there are both." He exclaimed, "I am doomed to judgment by the judgment of the Almighty."
Robert Green Ingersoll
He Wrote About the Mistakes of the Bible
Robert Green Ingersoll (1833-1899), famous American lawyer and prominent agnostic, lectured on Biblical inaccuracies and contradictions. His famed lecture "The Mistakes of Moses" led one defender of the Bible to say that he would like to hear Moses speak for five minutes on The Mistakes of Ingersoll!
Do I Have a Soul?
When he came to the gates of hell he was frozen with terror and he said, "OH GOD, IF THERE IS A GOD, HAVE MERCY ON MY SOUL - IF I HAVE A SOUL."
Sir Francis Gilfort
Sir Francis Gilfort, was taught early in his life about the gospel.
The Potential Minister Who Backslid
He was a backslidden Christian. In fact, it was expected that he would become a minister, but he fell into bad company. When he was passing on to eternity, he said,
"From where is this war in my heart? What arguments do I have to assist me in matters of fact? Do I say there is no hell when I feel one in my bosom?
AYE, AM I CERTAIN THAT THERE IS NO JUDGMENT WHEN I FEEL PRESENT JUDGMENT? Oh, wretch that I am. Whither shall I flee from this?
That there is a God, I know, for I continually feel that of His wrath. That there is a hell, I am surely certain.
Oh! That I was to lie upon the fire that never quench for a thousand years to purchase the favour of God, and to be reverted to Him again. But it is a fruitless wish.
Millions and millions of years will bring me no nearer to the end of my torment. Eternity, eternity!"
Do You Want Anyone to Pray For You?
As the distress of this man increased, he was asked whether he wanted some people to be invited to pray for him. He responded "Tigers and monsters, are you devils to come to torment me? Will you give me the prospects of Heaven to make my hell more intolerable?"
Then he said, "Oh! the insufferable pangs of death." And with that he died. How frightening!
William Pope
William Pope, was a born-again Christian, and knew the love of God. But he backslid when his wife died, and he followed Tom Paine. Not long after he backslid, he contracted tuberculosis, which was known at that time as The Consumption.
He is said to have been the leader of a company of infidels who ridiculed everything religious.
They Kicked the Bible and Tore it up
This was a classic backslider who said when he was dying, "No case is comparable to mine, I cannot revert, God will damn me forever."
One of the exercises of he and his friends was to kick the Bible about the floor, or tear it up. Friends who were present in his death-chamber spoke of it as a scene of terror.
A Frightening Scene of Death
His eyes rolled to and fro as he was dying on his bed, and he lifted up his hands as he cried out, "I have no contrition. I cannot repent. God will damn me. I know the day of grace is past...You see one who is damned forever... Oh, Eternity! Eternity... Nothing for me but hell. Come, eternal torments... Do you not see? Do you not see him? He is coming for me. Oh! the burning flame, the hell, the pain that I feel. Eternity will explain my torment."
And with these words, he died.
These were the very last words of a backslider!!
Dear Christian friend, what else can I say? I have shown you the real life testimonies of real people just like yourself. If that is not enough to make you believe and stay with God, then perhaps…
I have bargained for your soul, sharing with you all that a pastor can. I have shown you why you should not backslide. I have shown you the causes of backsliding, the descriptions of backsliding, and the symptoms of backsliding. I have shown you how people who backslide behave when they approach the gates of eternity. On the other hand, I have shown you the happy farewells of Christians with staying power to the very end.
My prayer for you is that you will find Christ and STAY in Christ. For on Christ the solid rock we stand. Amen!!
To the making of many books there is no end. May this book bless your ministry. Amen.
by Dag Heward-Mills
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Confessions for Mastering the Word of God
The Word of God is sweet. It is sweeter than honey to my mouth. That is why I read my Bible everyday!
I have a Bible. I read my Bible all the time!
I do what my Bible says I should do. I always obey the Word of God!
I can do what my Bible says I can do!
I have what my Bible says I have!
I am what my Bible says I am!
I am more than a conqueror. I am blessed. I am healed. I am delivered. I am rescued. I am saved. I am victorious. I am above. I am not below. I am the head. I am redeemed. I am sanctified. I am the righteousness of God. I am what the Bible says I am!
I do Bible study on a regular basis!
I do microscopic and topical Bible study on a regular basis!
I am not a shallow Christian because I study the Word regularly!
I am not an empty Christian because I meditate on the Word of God everyday!
When I meditate on the Word of God I become wiser!
I have invested in Bibles!
I have different versions of the Bible!
Oh, how I love the Bible!
It is my meditation all the day!
Through meditating on the Bible, God has made me wiser than my enemies!
I have more understanding than all my teachers. For thy testimonies are my meditation!
Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path!
The entrance of God's Word gives light to every aspect of my life. I know what to do because the Word gives me direction!
My steps are ordered because of the Word of God. I am a good man/woman and my steps are ordered by the Lord!
In the Word, God has shown me what is good and what He expects me to do!
I constantly listen to tapes!
Because faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God, my faith is improved when I listen to tapes!
I see myself becoming a spiritual giant right now!
I have great faith because I am always soaking in the Word of God!
Because I love the Word of God, I experience great peace. Nothing offends me anymore!
My eyes stay awake in the night that I might meditate on the Word of God!
I read Christian books on a regular basis and they are helping me greatly!
I fight against ignorance in my life by reading books. I am not an ignoramus. I am wise, intelligent and learned!
By the power of meditation, I rise into success!
The Word of God does not depart from my mind. I meditate on it everyday. Because of that, I experience success in my life!
I have divine insight and divine revelation in the Word of God!
The purpose and calling of God on my life will be fulfilled!
I am growing as an individual!
I am growing in the Word of God. I am growing in the Holy Spirit. I am growing in my character!
My life in public is the same as my life in secret!
I destroy every secret sin, evil and wickedness in my life!
I remove every skeleton from my wardrobe!
I am clean outside and I am clean inside!
The glory of God is fresh on me!
This present glory is upon my life!
I am faithful to the church!
The church is marching on and the gates of Hell cannot prevail against us!
The enemies without and the enemies within cannot stop us!
I see something new!
I see continuous beauty, continuous excellence and continuous prosperity!
This church is a source of direction and inspiration to many lives!
by Dag Heward-Mills
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Confessions for Securing Your Breakthrough
Greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world!
I have the anointing to work hard!
The anointing for breakthrough is upon me!
I am anointed for hard work!
I see the anointing for new ideas break forth like never before!
I have an anointing for excellence!
I cannot fail because God has given me the anointing for abundance!
The anointing for creativity is my portion!
My ears are anointed!
I hear the right things! I listen to the right people!
I have the necessary information to succeed!
My heart is anointed to receive wisdom from God!
I am anointed!
I have anointed eyes to see opportunities all around me!
I have anointed hands to make my business work!
I have an anointed mind! I am intelligent!
The anointing of the pastor has been transferred to many faithful men including myself!
I have a new anointing in my life!
I have an anointing for wisdom!
by Dag Heward-Mills
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Appreciate the Greatness of the Word of God
Four Reasons Why the Bible Can Be Trusted
1. The Bible can be trusted because promises made generations earlier have been kept.
Blessed be the Lord, that hath given rest unto his people Israel, according to all that he promised: there hath not failed one word of all his good promise, which he promised by the hand of Moses his servant.
1 Kings 8:56
2. The Bible can be trusted because God stands by His Word until it comes to pass.
For I am the Lord: I will speak, and the word that I shall speak shall come to pass; it shall be no more prolonged: for in your days, O rebellious house, will I say the word, and will perform it, saith the Lord God.
Ezekiel 12:25
For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled.
Matthew 5:18
Then said the LORD unto me, Thou hast well seen: for I will hasten my word to perform it.
Jeremiah 1:12
3. The Bible can be trusted because it is unchanging in a changing world.
But the word of the Lord endureth for ever. And this is the word which by the gospel is preached unto you.
1 Peter 1:25
4. Heaven and earth will pass away but the Word of God will remain forever.
Heaven and earth shall pass away, but my words shall not pass away.
Matthew 24:35
Heaven and earth shall pass away: but my words shall not pass away.
Luke 21:33
by Dag Heward-Mills
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Does God Answer All Our Prayers?
There are some verses in the Bible that give the impression that God answers all prayers. But it is obvious that God does not answer all prayers. It is important to look at the broad context of the Bible to understand if and how God answers prayer. The following verses give the impression that God does answer every single prayer.
Perhaps the greatest lesson we can learn from these Scriptures is that God does want to answer 100 percent of our prayers. That must be our aim. We must aim for God’s best – to have 100 percent of our prayers answered. But there are conditions for answered prayer and in the next chapter, we will consider twelve very important conditions for you to get answers to all your prayers. Notice these Scriptures which strongly promise answers to our prayers.
And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.
Matthew 21:22
And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.
If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it.
John 14:13-14
Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you.
John 15:16
And in that day ye shall ask me nothing. Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my name, he will give it you.
Hitherto have ye asked nothing in my name: ask, and ye shall receive, that your joy may be full.
John 16:23-24
For verily I say unto you, That whosoever shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; and shall not doubt in his heart, but shall believe that those things which he saith shall come to pass; he shall have whatsoever he saith.
Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.
Mark 11:23-24
by Dag Heward-Mills
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Seven Steps to an Effective Quiet Time
Step 1: Pray to begin your Quiet Time.
It’s time to give the Lord praise and worship for His goodness. Pray and thank the Lord for another day. Thank Him for who He is, what He has done and what He can and will do. Now ask God to speak to you.
And the Lord passed by before him, and proclaimed, The Lord, The Lord God, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abundant in goodness and truth, Keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, and that will by no means clear the guilty; visiting the iniquity of the fathers, upon the children, and upon the children’s children, unto the third and to the fourth generation. And Moses made haste, and bowed his head toward the earth, and worshipped.
Exodus 34:6-8
Step 2: Read a passage from the Bible expecting God to speak to you.
Open thou mine eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of thy law.
Psalm 119:18
Read the passage for the day expecting God to speak to you from it. There are several ways of choosing your daily Bible reading passage.
How to Choose a Bible-Reading Passage for Your Quiet Time
a. Choose a book from the Bible of which you read a few verses every day. You must always remember where you ended so you can continue from the same place on the next day. In the New Testament, I have had wonderful quiet times as I have read through the books of Luke and Ephesians. In the Old Testament, I have also had wonderful quiet times as I have read through the books of Genesis and 1st and 2nd Samuel.
b. Choose a personality from the Bible whose life story you follow. A few verses from passages about Moses will give you much revelation for your life. You must always remember where you end your reading so that you can start the next day from that point.
c. Take the passage suggested in your daily reading guide. When I first became a Christian, I depended on “Our Daily Bread” devotional for my Quiet Time.
Step 3: Meditate (Think through and soberly reflect on what you have read)
If you do not think deeply about what you are reading you will lose a major blessing of the Word of God. Paul told Timothy to think about the Word of God.
Consider what I say; and the Lord give thee understanding in all things.
2 Timothy 2:7
7 Keys for Effective Meditation
a. Read the passage slowly.
b. Do not read a very long passage unless it is necessary.
c. Stop at any verse that strikes you and think about it. God’s Word is so powerful that only a single word in a verse is enough to change your life. Each quiet time should be a search for that single word that can change your life.
d. Think about the meanings of the words that you are reading.
e. Think about how the Scripture applies to life in your generation.
f. Whisper to the Holy Spirit. Say, “Help me Holy Spirit to understand your Word. Father, give me the Spirit of Wisdom and Revelation.” I have prayed for many years that God should give me the Spirit of Wisdom and Revelation of His Word.
That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give unto you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him...
Ephesians 1:17
g. Decide on a practical way to implement the Scriptures that you have learnt. Without thinking of a way to apply the Scripture directly you will often not benefit from your quiet time.
Step 4: Move into deeper Bible study and make further references to things that strike you during your Quiet Time.
There are times that you will need to have a longer quiet time. God may minister to you about something. You must be prepared to study further. This is why it is important to have a good reference Bible.
Look through the passage again for as many of the following as possible:
i. What does the passage teach me about the nature of God: the Father, the Son, or the Holy Spirit?
ii. Is there a promise for you to believe, and so claim, taking careful note of any conditions attached?
iii. Is there a command for you to obey, or a good example for you to follow?
iv. Is there a warning for you to heed or a bad example for you to avoid?
v. Is there a prayer for you to pray or remember?
Step 5: Use your Bible reading guide.
You may refer to your daily Bible reading guide. These Bible reading guides are very helpful in developing a regular quiet time habit. You will benefit from anointed teachers whose ministry will help you to grow.
Step 6: Write down whatever the Lord tells you.
It is important to develop the habit of writing the things that God speaks to you about.
The very fact that you have acquired a notebook shows that you have faith in an invisible God. You believe that He has spoken to you and you have written down His words.
You have taken a great step of faith. Without faith it is not possible to please God.
Step 7: Now spend time praying to the Lord. Listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit.
The last step in your quiet time is to pray. At times you will pray for a short time, but there are other times you will pray for a long time. As you have your quiet time regularly, this prayer time will become longer and longer. You will soon desire longer hours with the Lord.
During the prayer time, God will speak to you through His Spirit. There are things God needs to tell you directly through His Spirit. The Holy Spirit is real and you must believe in Him as well.
by Dag Heward-Mills
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What Great Men Said about the Bible
1. George Washington (1st President of the USA)
1“It is impossible to rightly govern the world without God and the Bible.”
2. Thomas Jefferson (3rd President of the USA)
“A studious perusal of the sacred volume will make better citizens, better fathers, and better husbands.”
3. Andrew Jackson (7th President of the USA)
“That Book, Sir, is the rock on which our republic rests.”
4. Woodrow Wilson (28th President of the USA)
“You will know the Bible is the Word of God when you read it: for in it you will find the key to your own heart, your own happiness, and your success. I beg of you that you read it, and find this out for yourselves... A man has deprived himself of the best there is in the world who has deprived himself of this (the knowledge of the Bible).”
5. Herbert Hoover (31st President of the USA)
“There is no other book so various as the Bible, nor one so full of concentrated wisdom.”
6. Ulysses S. Grant (18th President of the USA)
“To the influence of this book we are indebted to the progress made in civilization, and to this we must look as our guide in the future.”
7. Napoleon Bonaparte (Famous French general)
“The Bible is more than a book; it is a living being with an action; a power which invades everything that opposes its extension.”
8. Alexander Cruden (Compiled the Cruden’s Concordance)
“All other books are of little importance in comparison with the Holy Scriptures.”
9. 800 Scientists of Great Britain, recorded in the Bodelian Library, Oxford
“We, the undersigned, students of the natural sciences, desire to express our sincere regret that researches into scientific truth are perverted by some in our own times into occasion for casting doubt into the truth and authenticity of the Holy Scriptures. We conceive that it is impossible for the Word of God written in the book of nature, and God’s Word written in Holy Scripture, to contradict one another… Physical science is not complete, but is only in a condition of progress. Signed by all 800 scientists.”
10. Daniel Webster (US statesman and orator)
“The Bible is the book of faith, and a book of doctrine, and a book of morals, and a book of religion, of special revelation from God; but it is also a book which teaches man his responsibility, his own dignity, and his equality with his fellow man.”
“…If we abide by the principles taught in the Bible, our country will go on prospering and to prosper; but if we and our posterity neglect its instructions and authority, no man can bury our glory in profound obscurity.”
11. Abraham Lincoln (16th President of the USA)
“In regard to this great book, I have but to say, I believe the Bible is the best gift God has given to man. All the good Saviour gave to the world was communicated through this book. But for this book we could not know right from wrong. All things most desirable for man’s welfare, here and hereafter, are to be found portrayed in it.”
12. Winston Churchill (British Prime Minister during World War II)
“We rest with assurance upon the impregnable rock of Holy Scripture.”
13. General Douglas MacArthur (A US military genius, and general commander of allied forces in SW Pacific during World War II)
“ Believe me Sir, never a night goes by, be I ever so tired, but I read the Word of God before I go to bed.”
14. John Quincy Adams (6th President of the USA)
“I speak as a man of the world to men of the world; and I say to you, search the Scriptures! The Bible is the book of all others, to be read at all ages, and in all conditions of human life; not to be read once or twice or thrice through, and then laid aside but to be read in small portions of one or two chapters everyday, and never to be intermitted, unless by some overruling necessity.”
15. Sir Isaac Newton (English philosopher and mathematician; formulator of the law of gravitation)
“We account the Scriptures of God to be the most sublime philosophy. I find more sure marks of authority in the Bible than in any profane history whatever.”
Let me conclude with the words of Charles Dickens, the great English novelist and author of “David Copperfield”, “Great Expectations” and “Oliver Twist”:
“IT IS THE BEST BOOK THAT EVER WAS OR EVER WILL BE IN THE WORLD!”
by Dag Heward-Mills
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Seven Things Every Christian Should Know about the Tithe
1. Dekate is the Greek word which is translated into the word “tithe” and means “the tenth” or “ten percent” of everything that you have.
2. The tithe is the first fruits of everything that you have.
The word “tithe” is used interchangeably with the word “first fruits” and there are several examples of this in the Bible. This is important because the word “first fruits” is more commonly used in New Testament language. Because the word first fruits is more commonly used in the New Testament church, some people erroneously assume that the concept of tithing is a Jewish Old Testament practice, which does not apply today. Notice four examples of how the word “tithe” is interchanged with the word “first fruits” in the Old Testament. This proves that the tithe is the same as the first fruit.
a. Nehemiah referred to the tithe as first fruits. Nehemiah used the terms tithes and first fruits interchangeably.
Also that day they offered great sacrifices, and rejoiced: for God had made them rejoice with great joy: the wives also and the children rejoiced: so that the joy of Jerusalem was heard even afar off.
And at that time were some appointed over the chambers for the treasures, for the offerings, for THE FIRSTFRUITS, and for THE TITHES, to gather into them out of the fields of the cities the portions of the law for the priests and Levites: for Judah rejoiced for the priests and for the Levites that waited.
Nehemiah 12:43-44
And to bring the FIRSTFRUITS of our ground, and the FIRSTFRUITS of all fruit of all trees, year by year, unto the house of the LORD:
Also the firstborn of our sons, and of our cattle, as it is written in the law, and the FIRSTLINGS of our herds and of our flocks, to bring to the house of our God, unto the priests that minister in the house of our God:
And that we should bring the FIRSTFRUITS of our dough, and our offerings, and the fruit of all manner of trees, of wine and of oil, unto the priests, to the chambers of the house of our God; and the TITHES of our ground unto the Levites, that the same Levites might have the TITHES in all the cities of our tillage.
Nehemiah 10:35-37
b. Ezekiel described the tithes for the priests as “first fruits”.
The first of all the first fruits of every kind and every contribution of every kind, from all your contributions, shall be for the priests; you shall also give to the priest the first of your dough to cause a blessing to rest on your house.
Ezekiel 44:30 (NASB)
c. Hezekiah referred to the tithe as firstfruits. Hezekiah used the terms tithes and firstfruits interchangeably.
Now when all this was finished, all Israel that were present went out to the cities of Judah, and brake the images in pieces, and cut down the groves, and threw down the high places and the altars out of all Judah and Benjamin, in Ephraim also and Manasseh, until they had utterly destroyed them all. Then all the children of Israel returned, every man to his possession, into their own cities.
And Hezekiah appointed the courses of the priests and the Levites after their courses, every man according to his service, the priests and Levites for burnt offerings and for peace offerings, to minister, and to give thanks, and to praise in the gates of the tents of the Lord.
He appointed also the king's portion of his substance for the burnt offerings, to wit, for the morning and evening burnt offerings, and the burnt offerings for the sabbaths, and for the new moons, and for the set feasts, as it is written in the law of the Lord.
Moreover he commanded the people that dwelt in Jerusalem to give THE PORTION OF THE PRIESTS AND THE LEVITES, that they might be encouraged in the law of the Lord.
And as soon as the commandment came abroad, the children of Israel brought in abundance the FIRSTFRUITS OF CORN, wine, and oil, and honey, and of all the increase of the fields; and the TITHE OF ALL THINGS brought they in abundantly.
And concerning the children of Israel and Judah, that dwelt in the cities of Judah, they also brought in the TITHE OF OXEN and sheep, and the TITHE OF HOLY THINGS which were consecrated unto the Lord their God, and laid them by heaps.
2 Chronicles 31:1-6
d. Solomon described the tithes to be presented as first fruits.
Honour the Lord with thy substance, and with THE FIRSTFRUITS OF ALL THINE INCREASE: so shall thy barns be filled with plenty, and thy presses shall burst out with new wine.
Proverbs 3:9-10
3. The tithe is God’s property. It is money that actually belongs to God.
And all THE TITHE of the land, whether of the seed of the land, or of the fruit of the tree, IS THE LORD'S: it is holy unto the Lord.
Leviticus 27:30
4. The tithe is holy money and anyone that misuses it misuses a holy thing.
And all THE TITHE of the land, whether of the seed of the land, or of the fruit of the tree, is the Lord's: IT IS HOLY UNTO THE LORD.
Leviticus 27:30
5. The tithe is used to support the priests.
Neither must the children of Israel henceforth come nigh the tabernacle of the congregation, lest they bear sin, and die.
But the Levites shall do the service of the tabernacle of the congregation, and they shall bear their iniquity: it shall be a statute for ever throughout your generations, that among the children of Israel they have no inheritance.
But THE TITHES OF THE CHILDREN OF ISRAEL, which they offer as an heave offering unto the Lord, I HAVE GIVEN TO THE LEVITES TO INHERIT: therefore I have said unto them, Among the children of Israel they shall have no inheritance. And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,
Thus speak unto the Levites, and say unto them, When ye take of the children of Israel the tithes which I have given you from them for your inheritance, then ye shall offer up an heave offering of it for the LORD, even a tenth part of the tithe. And this your heave offering shall be reckoned unto you, as though it were the corn of the threshingfloor, and as the fulness of the winepress. Thus ye also shall offer an heave offering unto the LORD of all your tithes, which ye receive of the children of Israel; and ye shall give thereof the LORD'S heave offering to Aaron the priest. Out of all your gifts ye shall offer every heave offering of the LORD, of all the best thereof, even the hallowed part thereof out of it. Therefore thou shalt say unto them, When ye have heaved the best thereof from it, then it shall be counted unto the Levites as the increase of the threshingfloor, and as the increase of the winepress. AND YE SHALL EAT IT in every place, ye and your households: FOR IT IS YOUR REWARD FOR YOUR SERVICE IN THE TABERNACLE of the congregation. AND YE SHALL BEAR NO SIN BY REASON OF IT, when ye have heaved from it the best of it: neither shall ye pollute the holy things of the children of Israel, lest ye die.
Numbers 18:22-32
6. There are seven different types of tithes.
Seven Types of Tithes
a. A tithe of the flocks and herds of sheep and oxen
And concerning the children of Israel and Judah, that dwelt in the cities of Judah, they also brought in THE TITHE OF OXEN AND SHEEP, and the tithe of holy things which were consecrated unto the Lord their God, and laid them by heaps.
2 Chronicles 31: 6
And concerning the TITHE OF THE HERD, or OF THE FLOCK, even of whatsoever passeth under the rod, the tenth shall be holy unto the Lord.
Leviticus 27:32
b. A tithe of their fruits from the fields
And all THE TITHE of the land, whether of the seed of the land, or OF THE FRUIT of the tree, is the Lord's: it is holy unto the Lord.
Leviticus 27:30
c. A tithe of their industries which produced oil, wine, and corn
Then brought all Judah the tithe of the corn and the new wine and the oil unto the treasuries.
Nehemiah 13:12
d. A tithe of the smallest possessions
Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law, judgment, mercy, and faith: these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone.
Matthew 23:23
e. A tithe of their profits
At the end of three years thou shalt bring forth all THE TITHE OF THINE INCREASE the same year, and shalt lay it up within thy gates:
Deuteronomy 14:28
f. A tithe of their children
And to bring the firstfruits of our ground, and the firstfruits of all fruit of all trees, year by year, unto the house of the Lord: ALSO THE FIRSTBORN OF OUR SONS, and of our cattle, as it is written in the law, and the firstlings of our herds and of our flocks, to bring to the house of our God, UNTO THE PRIESTS THAT MINISTER IN THE HOUSE OF OUR GOD:
And that we should bring the firstfruits of our dough, and our offerings, and the fruit of all manner of trees, of wine and of oil, unto the priests, to the chambers of the house of our God; and the tithes of our ground unto the Levites, that the same Levites might have the tithes in all the cities of our tillage.
Nehemiah 10:35-37
g. A tithe of the tithe
And the Lord spake unto Moses, saying, thus speak unto the Levites, and say unto them, When ye take of the children of Israel the tithes which I have given you from them for your inheritance, then ye shall offer up an heave offering of it for the Lord, EVEN A TENTH PART OF THE TITHE.
Numbers 18:25-26
7. If ever the tithe is used, it must be replaced with interest.
And all the tithe of the land, whether of the seed of the land, or of the fruit of the tree, is the Lord's: it is holy unto the Lord. And if a man will at all redeem ought of his tithes, he shall add thereto the fifth part thereof.
Leviticus 27:30-31
by Dag Heward-Mills
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