I’ve mentioned before I have a Record of Ragnarok fanfic, and i already bit the bullet and put out that preface for the Grail War fic, so....here’s the list! Subject to change, as will become evident with how many freaking fights I’ve come up with, more specifically the contestants in no particular order.

Overseers: 

Brynhildr 

Prometheus

Odin

Bellona

Hestia

Mímir

Humanity:

Uesugi Kenshin

Kriemhild

Zhong Kui

Medusa

Rasputin

Hammurabi

Vlad Țepeș

Tantalus

Mordred Pendragon

William Shakespeare

Julius Caesar

Jing Wei

The Minotaur

Caligula

Saitō Musashibō Benkei

Cao Cao

Baron Samedi

Captain “Nemo” Dakkar

Winston Churchill

Darius III

Fionn mac Cumhaill

Audie Murphy

Benjamin Franklin

Cú Chulainn

Alexander the Great

Paul Bunyan

Irene Sarantapechaina of Athens

Cain

Ibn al-Haytham

Thomas Edison

James Moriarty

Heaven:

Bishamonten

Ares

Freyja

Ah Muzen cab

Hêlēl

Horus

Set

Athena

Artio

Susanoo-no-Mikoto

Indra

Ah Puch

Achilles

Bastet

Nyarlathotep

Xiuhtecuhtli

Pele

The Morrígan

Níðhöggr

Nezha

Anansi

Ishtar

Loki

Hi-no-Kagutsuchi

Yemoja

Bakasura

Daji

Baldr

Arawn

Amun-Ra

Cikap-kamuy

And because even my cut ideas are usually all conceptualized, here’s a list of those I’ve sadly had to trim from the story:

Ivan IV Vasilyevich

Nergal

Fafnir

Genghis Khan

Blackbeard

Aži Dahāka

Wu Zeitan

Galileo

Olorun

Ao Guang

Shaka Zulu

Scáthach

Lyudmila Pavlichenko

Ramesses II

Cernunnos

Czernobog 

Tsukuyomi

Take-Minakata

Typhon

Ba’al

Chronos

Oda Nobunaga

Van Helsing

Charles Babbage

Archimedes

Jeanne d’Arc

Aeneas

Nebuchadnezzar II

(Feel free to shoot any asks about any of them!)

Okay, so spoilers for Legends Arceus postgame below the... did the mobile app get rid of readmores? Gross! Hope this works:

[[MORE]]

So, ive seen it claimed on the tvtropes page for Legends arceus that Rei/Akari are called pokemon trainers, and Volos called a pokemon wielder because he's the villan. And the logics good, but its not true. Heres how!

Rei and Akari are never called trainers. Trainers dont really exist yet, because pokeballs are new tech and people havent really started training pokemon yet, at least for the primary purpose of battle. Heck, even Ingo, who was a trainer in his past life, is only ever called Warden Ingo in battles. Volo, before going mask off is called Ginkgo Guild Member Volo; while Rei/ Akari are called The Survey Corps Rei/ Akari

One of the major plotpoints is after all, Diamond and Pearl clans thinking your new ways arent good, and thinking their management of pokemon, of living with them, is better. Meanwhile, at the start of the game they complain about you keeping pokemon in balls and think youre just using them

(This becomes weird when you consider Ingo, who does use pokeballs in battle, but still has a high position in the pearl clan.)

My theory is "pokemon wielder" comes from how people in hisui see people who use pokemon primarily for battle. Most characters title is [job description[[name]. Most people who keep pokemon keep them as companions, or to help with their work (either literally, like the farmers in the fields, or by protecting them on the job, like the security corps and survey corps.) Theres no reason yet to just... train pokemon for trainings sake. And the people in hisui look upon the idea with suspicion. Pokemon wielder is probably a little used term made to describe someone who, in the future, would be called a pokemon trainer. But... derogatory.

But then theres Volo in the last fight. Because hes no longer even pretending to act on the Ginkgo guilds behalf, he has his title stripped from him. So, because hes not training pokemon to, say keep him safe on the job anymore, he's *just* a pokemon wielder. If you ditched the survey corps in some bad end alternative, people would probably call you a pokemon wielder too. Becsuse youre no longer doing this for a reason they can understand.

What proof do i have of this? Well, not much besides what ive included above. But, the music for trainer battles is called Battle! (Pokemon wielder). The theme when you fight *Volo*, on the other hand, is Battle! (Pokemon wielder Volo)

And honestly, this just seems more likely. As much as Volo sucks, he has three different mons that evolve from friendship. If he was in this time, hed be called a trainer, like a more problematic N.

Though, we see that this'll likely start changing soon. If you talk to (cant remember exactly orz) either Zizu or one of her nearby subordinates, they mention thinking about setting up a dojo there in the future.

Having a dojo meant for pokemone battles would probably start changing the cultural expectations of human and pokemon relationships, and may even blossom into the first shinnoh gym! ( probably canalaves gym, due to the duel rivers running through. Yes, I know its called *jubilife* village. Its clearly closer to where canalave would later be on the map.)

So yeah. Thats why game freak didnt just go "oh his evil? He's a wielder now!" And how the phrase probably says less about Volos treatment of his team, and more sbout societal attitudes towards training pokemon.

Did i need to make an effort post about something so minor? Probably not. Did i enjoy obsessing over bullshit? Yep!

what do you call someone with a strong annoyance borderline hate of men specifically men who are incredibly (masculine) toxic but would be the shit out of anyone who tried to say a man could be assaulted, or that men should be belittled and mistreated like women?( a rant?)

I remember I got called a terf like maybe two or three months ago and it bothers me because I worry if I could be aligned in that horrible theory. I always thought the main core of terfism was that you are “ gender critical “ and you ironically just like the patriarchy don't think a woman could ever be smart enough to know the difference in literally - anything? i like trans woman too many folks...i like women - cis and trans...they're cute and awesome ...so like how could you not?  Im bringing this up because as of late ive had a very angry and almost cold voice that respond when i see violence against women because people felt entitle to people bodies and just like school shootings and trumps camps I have to numb myself too it or otherwise i would literally go on a suicidal/homicidal spree.  “ a women’s death is nothing in comparison to a man’s freedom. a woman;s discomfort is nothing in the way of a man entitlement “ I dont like that phrase. i feel like if come off to me as the epitome of femi nzai if that’s even a thing anymore since the men who hated them are most likely real nazis. Listen im 28 and stuck in a house with two men who double-crossed me and are only taking care of me because i decided to quit my job. im only in this house with someone who i thought was literally going to harm and someone who stolen moeny from me becuase as a soceity i have been mold to bend until i break and be gaslighted as “ an irrational fuhmal” not even human if i bring it up. its 2019 and im still tlaking to people who think its ok to count thier two stay at home mothers as an example of why women get paid less because they work less but tell em that the 50 women i work with at a company dont count becuase that’s my just my feelings  and smirk and bring up “ toxic feminity” like that not a sub division of toxic masculinity - Because women DID NOT tell other women to compete with other women in order to get men  Because women DID NOT teach other women that it’s ok to hit men and that men shouldn't cry  Because other women DID NOT teach other women that men couldn't be raped, should always pay the bill Not in the beginning ...that was toxic masculinity but how dare I expect men to accountability for responsibility - that’s just one of the privileges of being a male. and stop telling women when they get hurt by a man that they should of got a guy form thier family. You mean the same guy who was allowed to walk around in thier underwear while i had to fully dress in my home at 9 years of fucking age because my body attracted raped and his didn't or as i like to say it “ boys will be boys but girls should know better by knowing nothing at all” 

Listen I don't think the world would be better if men didn't exist. I don't think the world would be better if men were put under the social pressure of women . Im just dont exist in this society any more as hetero passing individual because i dont get along with it’s morals. im so fucking tired of watching women dying because “ a man has his needs...and his excuses “ and before the misandry parade comes put the cuffs again - i dont mind being a misandrist as much as i don't want to be a terf but again im not looking to get in fights with men. I honestly wish i was invisible to them since seeing me as anything as a female is so socially ingrained is impossible and understanding - im not even mad. make go back in the kitchen jokes, shit on my existence, make me play this doll for the sake of your “ cool girl because if i dont letyou hug me, if i show even a sign of resistance to your sexual banter or your anti feminist logic or your victim-shaming statements...im no longer an object of convenience...and i potentially become a another death statistics  and to the “ protect the boys” brigade aka the people who come screaming from/the corner of this hellsite like someone told your child santa doesn't exist when a woman says something like  “ you know i like getting dress up for other women I try not to think about men “ “ im not here for emotionally unavalible boys” “ I'm not here for men who don't want to fix themselves” ” I'm not worried about children and men “ ” I didn't find him interesting so i didn't give him a chance ” and then you mofos come of the fucking woodwork screaming like a motherfucking banshee  ” BOYS NEED LOVE ! IF YOU DONT WANNA FiX HIm HOW IS HE GOING TO GROW ?!” ” DONT SAY MEN ARE TRASH ! TOXIC MASCULINITY IS A RESULT OF HIM NOT BEING LOVE PROPERLY !” ” IGNORE THEM BOYS WE WONT LET THEM FORGET YOU “ * animal like screeching To you ; you dont care about men. You care about the status quo. You think if men become “ as emotional as fuhmales “ (because half of you don't see women as anything but her genitals ) that they will break down. you don't want men to make a connection between the idea that men need to sex in order to be valuable even if that means taking it and that anyone who take sex is a rapist because then men would have to be accountable for their actions. They would feel bad and you wouldn't want your favorite child to feel bad, after all if they feel bad they cant let loose and be the “ best version” of themselves- even if that version of themselves is a fucking dumpster fire. You want them to be the full end of this spectrum at the expense of your less favorite child ( women ). You might be someone who just, in general, have fed into the bullshit that woman are liars ( another concept that makes it easier for rape culture to be prevalent and strong ) and that men are calm, collective beings who are being neglected thanks to feminism and woman not focusing on them. you might think “ well logically if you only tell men they're trash they're going to be trash “ Ive been told i was a bitch , a fake, a slob( that is true. i am dirty af and i will not put on deordorant unless someone coming), pathetic and useless.  I decide one day that if i didnt like any of those things i would change it , becuase if i didnt like being those things that i needed to change them for me. I CHANGE WHEN I DIDNT LIKE MYSELF and before anyone says anything i have had depression and anxeity. i have been gaslighted and bully for years but at the end of the day my change didi not come from people cheering me up or tearing me down it came from ME being critical of myself nad my actions. And that’s why you “ what about the boys” people dont love men as much as you say you do . You're so afraid of them becoming something more than your baby boy being more than what you want, greater than what society has allow that you would rather make in a pacified monster than a human being. you guys hate men and i cannot stand any of you  to the young man who has  been discriminated against because you weren't born as a cis male  were raped by women and wasn't respected by either woman or men when you look for support  gritted your teeth and read through all my rambling you're valid. you worried about having your whole life ruined by false rape accusations or in general, you are generally afraid of adding to a woman’s concern when it comes to men. you dont like being around certain woman becuase you feel they are too touchy are they are the one who the moment you dont find them attractive and everyone includes other men invalidate you're right to not want to be touch. you fucking have to control your urge to gut punch every time you here the phrase “ men are trash “ becuase you understand the phrase isnt about you and some smart ass is like “ if its not about you why are you getting mad “. Like we all know why you're mad - but we know you're better than that.  I appreciate you questioning your friends on thier used of rape jokes and trying to implied that sexual assault doesn't exist becuase “ if the guy attracted females dont complain “ I think you're wonderful...but i want out  becuase my death is just another occurrence. being someone’s property as a child, wife or even friend means nothing now. my death is nothing different than throwing out an aluminum can. i no longer wonder if the person im talking to is capable of rape. i know longer wonder if ill makes it home safely. i know get angry about wanting to do things like move out on my own, be respected by men and not feel that my feelings are constantly being pacified like a battery operated doll who the owner is cooing to work.  I expect it. and when it doesn't happen i hold my breath and try to not think about tomorrow where ill pretty much have the bar set that low again. I expected to have my feelings band aid with “ well im sorry someone hurt you “ or “ youre apart of the problem thinking like that”. when something im uncomfortable with happens i dont go out in a rage but belitting my feelings as “ sensitive” or “ stop being a bitch “ roll off me.  Humankind is capable of amazing thing and i know change is possible...but i dont expect it anytime soon. ....I really just want out. its 2019 and women are still getting killed becuase of entitlement and the only ing most of you is complain that it happens to men too.....Im tired of pretending this society cares if i was murder right now. you only careif i fit the commodity of the day...I want out for i am so very tired 

like.. i mean.. its not even a Huge Bad or anything, like it doesnt seem like the creators were intentionally bigoted but just that they wanted to do ~historical accuracy~ but this kinda bugged me in The Banner Saga its not even anything big but it really stacks up??

like i mean there’s loads and loads of scattered lines that’re all ‘oh no the women and children’ and thats pretty much the only way they appear as like ‘oh no.’ the main female character in the whole game is your protagonist’s daughter who you ~have to preserve the innocence of~ by not letting her fight when like she’s fuckin 18 and she’s ONE OF THE BEST UNITS IN THE DAMN GAME her, and oddlief, and yrsa. ALL THE DAMN ARCHERS cos btw all women are archers and we only have three of them across two armies and there’s like fiddy other classes for men and also a species of all male giants and also the enemy stonemen are assumed to be all male and then seeing one female one is meant to humanize them just because ~oh the women and children~ and ~women don’t fight in war, they must be really suffering to start doing that~ WHEN YOU HAVE YOUR THREE FEMALE PARTY MEMBERS RIGHT THERE

and seriously fuckin ~PRESERVING HER INNOCENCE~ she’s 18 you get an achievement for either not using her in battle, or using her but never having her deal a killing blow she’s ffffuckin 18 you’re supposed to just see her as ~oh poor boo~ who i should want to protect, and ignore her own wishes when she keeps saying she wants to fight universally, allowing her to do what she asks to do will get nothing but bad results in random events and stuff first time you do it it gets a man killed man also did I mention how annoying it is that you can just randomly lose units forever if you pick the wrong dialogue option in random events?? I lost gunnulf and yrsa and i’d wasted SO MANY UPGRADE POINTS ON THEM so yeah there’s only three female characters and two of them can die in these random events and dont really have much of a plot role and then the last one is ~preserve her innocence plot~ and gets kidnapped or whatever to motivate her dad, and then even badass Oddlief gets kidnapped too to motivate protagonist and like SUDDENLY OUT OF NOWHERE becomes a love interest for him right before this happened like seriously where was the fucking chemistry

oh and oddlief also has another fuckin wallbanger scene cos she’s the wife of the village chief and she comes out and tells you that you have to be the next village chief when he dies, because “nobody would ever follow a woman” and “i would ruin the village for the sake of my selfishness, everything would fall apart into riots” if she tried to be the new chief like.. youre just... a random fuckin hunter??? oh and blablabla oddlief is apparantly ‘barren’ so she’s a dead end to the chief line and you could provide a heir blablabla. that just makes it even weirder that she suddenly gets a romance with you out of nowhere prior to her potential death scene, when youre like.. you’re just chief cos you’re taking the role of her son... oh and then she goes off on a tangeant about how being seen as a strong woman is super bad and she wants to be ~allowed to cry like a real woman~ and its just really fuckin stupid and never gets brought up again this is what i mean about games with ‘historical accuracy’ about predjudice or whatever not having to.. like... AGREE WITH THE PREDJUDICE AND PRETEND EVERYONE SUPPORTED IT INCLUDING THE VICTIMS thats such a fucking LAZY way to handle this kind of plot

and then seriously if they were trying so hard to limit all women to one class then they shoulda tried harder to not make it THE BEST CLASS IN THE GAME that repeatedly solo’d the entire board for me while protaggy mcdad went down like a sack o bricks if i’d been able to keep all three archers instead of RANDOM FRIGGIN DEATH EVENTS, I coulda had a much easier time! seriously daughter character had a shitty unique ability that I never used once in the game, and she was STILL better than everyone else the only people who were even better were the other two archers who had a good ability too

also like.. seriously.. you could have at least tried to establish that daughter character was in need of protection... at all?? like she’s just introduced going “dad i wanna fight to defend my own damn life and home” and then he says no and THEN SHE KICKS ASS WHEN SHE ACTUALLY FIGHTS TO DEFEND HER OWN DAMN LIFE AND HOME and we know NOTHING about these characters really, except that the guy we’re supposed to like has been introduced going all ‘blablabla dont fight for literally no reason except woman’ and then his motive for the whole game is about sheltering someone who doesnt need it and never asked for it and notably he has no fucking arguments about his daughter’s childhood friend fighting in the same fight just cos he’s a dude. even though theyre a fuckin HUNTER FAMILY and he’s been fighting alongside his daughter every damn day and should know what she’s capable of. And this is just a random village kid! who predictably dies in that same battle! and gets completely forgotten about! tfw ur shitty sexism plot is wreckin things for the male characters too lol

oh and then THE FUCKIN ENDING the big gimmick is that one of the characters has to sacrifice themself to kill the big bad and they have the fuckin GALL to make this THE ONLY TIME you’re allowed to let her prove herself! the choice of letting her be the one to die is presented as “but dad i can really do it” and her proving she’s better than him so if you dont want her to die you have to shoot her down and say she cant fight cos she’s a girl and blablabla i will protect you even though you dont need protecting AGAIN when really my fuckin motivation was more like “fuck u maybe if you dont exist then her plot won’t be blablabla protection every five minutes” I REALLY WANTED THIS PROTAGONIST TO DIE i’d say its cruel of me to blame him for bad writing choices, but really he didnt have much personality outside of the sexism. just generic 'for some reason you are our leader now and we all trust you’ type hero...

and like.. this put everything all into perspective?? like her WHOLE PURPOSE IN THE GAME has been to make you wanna protect her, and then ~oh tragedy~ she gets fridged in the end to fuel our protagonist’s character growth and again its a case of the bad outcome whenever you choose to agree with her. and like it “proves” the whole thing cos her big hero moment of fighting gets her killed. (even though it does the same to the protagonist too...) and then if you choose the dad to be the one who dies you’re forced to agree with his protectiveness thing and he dies and now she���s left believing he’s right... I mean I’m at least happy they gave us a choice here! But i’m not really very confident in how they’ll handle her as the protagonist in the sequel, considering how they handled all the female characters here. or they might just have some new character take over the protagonist slot instead...

oh and also its weird that every female character is basically a different hairstyle/hat on the same model like.. a super super thin modern ideal of a supermodel character, too its not super fanservicey or anything but its weird with how all the dudes vary wildly in body build and like.. the typical viking wife character in anything ever is usually chubby, and here you cant even tell which one is supposed to be older than the other two. and they all wear robes despite being archers?? also why is the varl race all male, except from just “because theyre strong and nobody wants to see strong women” the jotunn/giants in norse myth were never all male, and that seems to be what they’re based on. tho i mean this is a world where greek centaurs and weird biological statue robots are also here, so they might not be based on anything, lol

medic hcs

Em made a big hc post for heavy a few days ago [here] and ive been meaning 2 finally do the same w/ medic bcause im gay

note: while i try to be brief about the details, this post is about a gay jewish man in Germany during wwii. to set aside any initial worries, no, he is never kept in the camps- as a jewish person myself it sickens me deep in my stomach to even think of that possibility. but there’s still mentions of n/zism and antisemitism, as one would expect.

also, a fair amount of the details of my medic hcs for his childhood are based on the german side of my family, primarily my grandfather and his father. while i still only know a little about my family history[tm], details like medic’s last name, how his family were able to lay low, etc, are based on the little bits and pieces ive heard from my grandmother #antisemitism #nazism #homophobia #transphobia #satanism #long post #text heavy #tf2 #gore text #medical abuse #malpractice #experimentation mention 

-Medic was born roughly around 1925- he’s in his early 40s around when the game takes place- to the name [redacted] Reichstein. the Reichsteins were reviled in their little town as mad doctors, which was at least somewhat true- they certainly weren’t shy to experimentation on body parts and [willing] subjects. but a good part of the hatred for them stemmed from Good Old Antisemitism, focusing their hate on the fact that they were an openly jewish family and saying that that must be influencing their occasionally morally dubious behavior

-for the longest time, though, people tolerated them- they were the only doctors around, after all. but as time went on, the disgusted glances turned to hate speech, turned to violent threats, and eventually, to violent actions.

-medic’s father, who had long since been debating on moving, finally packed the family up[against his wife’s wishes], and within a night, their home and lab were deserted.

-his father could tell that something terrible was coming. he brought down an ultimatum- they would have to abandon everything jewish about themselves in order to survive. medic was young, still, and didn’t fully understand the severity of why his father seemed so adamant that they never mention holidays they once celebrated, why their old family photos were torn and burned, why his mother was constantly reprimanded when her Yiddish roots showed through her accent

-medic’s father pulled a few favors, and before they moved into a new city, the family name was changed to Reich- a more acceptable, more German name. Reichstein could raise eyebrows, lead to questioning about jewish roots, but there have always been many Reichs in Germany.

-that’s also when Medic got his birthname changed to Ludwig, and he and his mother had to fight like hell for that. his father argued that the last thing they needed was another target on their back- if anyone found out that his son “wasn’t really a boy”, then that would bring the entire family under scrutiny and into danger.

-ludwig refused to take no for an answer. ludwig had always been someone who would rather die than pretend that he’s something he’s not, and this was one of the first signs of that. while he didnt fully understand his connection to judaism, yet, and thus didnt fight to keep it at the time; he DID understand that he wasn’t a girl, and by God did he refuse to pretend otherwise.

-eventually his father relented, though he never once forgot and throughout medic’s childhood, he would bring up how risky it was, how medic was potentially endangering them all.

-to clarify: his father DID technically accept his son being transgender, but he wanted him to repress it, ignore it, force it down and never bring it up, much like their jewish heritage. ludwig refused, and his father never liked that. [when ludwig grew older and became both openly gay AND became a practicing jew again, his father nearly had a fucking heart attack]

-ludwig was heavily isolated for most of his childhood after they moved, partially due to the war’s beginning, partially because his father was afraid of his son giving something away. he was homeschooled by his mother, and rarely left the house, instead spending most of his time playing with the family’s cockatoo, or in his father’s operating room, learning human anatomy

-this isolation[alongside his autism, and veritable cocktail of mental illnesses] helped contribute to medic’s general inability to understand how to interact with people- he is oblivious at the best of times, has no concept of personal space, rarely catches social cues, and has Awful attachment issues. he is overly affectionate with anyone he is even vaguely friendly with, he tends to ramble and talk about uncomfortably personal things without realizing its a bad thing, etc, etc, he is a mess and a half

-he does understand bits and pieces- for example, if he’s physically affectionate with someone, they tend to tense up, and try to get away from him, which means he’s doing something wrong. the problem is that he doesnt understand WHAT he’s doing wrong, or why it’s wrong[answer: he’s covered in blood and bird shit and holding at least one[1] human liver]

-speaking of physical affection, the first time engineer affectionately puts a hand on medic’s shoulder medic fucking freaks out because aside from his parents, NO ONE. no one has ever initiated Friendly Physical Contact with him. usually because theyre freaked out by him in some way. he has no idea how to cope with the fact that someone might actually think of him in a friendly manner to the point of expressing that physically [aside from sexually, which is a whole other story and a half]

-but im getting ahead of myself. the first time ludwig killed a man was when he was 17. a nazi soldier paid an unexpected visit to the Reichs. ludwig, scared for his family’s sake and overwhelmed with a boiling hatred for nazis that had simmered for all of his childhood, killed the man

-his father reacted violently, ranting that now they were doomed, but his mother helped ludwig destroy the body and evidence. by the grace of God, no other nazi followed up that visit- the soldier hadn’t told anyone where he was going, and there had been no witnesses to his visit. and germany was so chaotic at the time, that eventually the man's death was attributed to a previously unnoticed casualty in battle

-that was the first man ludwig killed, and also the first of many, many nazis. he spent a good stretch of his adult life hunting down nazis who had gone under the radar, trying to hide their past ties while still keeping the same disgusting views.

-as ive mentioned, in medical school, ludwig not only became openly gay, but returned to his jewish roots. no longer under his father's roof, and now that the war was over, medic saw no reason to hide aspects of himself any longer. and God help everyone who felt otherwise. especially once the most violently hateful dissenters, began to mysteriously disappear.

-throughout his adult life medic has had Multiple short term, non-serious relationships [including more than his fair share of one night stands], and maybe two serious relationships prior to heavy. neither of those ended well, citing ludwigs mental Fuckery as a big issue. speaking of, his mental fuckery has helped him get into at least a couple abusive relationships, which i wont detail beyond "he survived and healed".

-while he is Jewish, he is the kind of jew who criticizes god every step of the way. at least part of this is due to having to survive during the Shoah.

-the Shoah definitely fucked his mind up. the constant fear for his parents and himself, and the burning hatred for the nazis and everyone who agreed with them or stood back and let them take over, and just overall a horrible sense of helplessness, definitely contributed to a lot of his future mental fuckery, and to his feelings about God. as an adult, and as a doctor, he took the feeling of helplessness he had as a teenager, and flipped it around dramatically- if god didnt help him then, he’d have to become better than god. he would bring retribution where others didnt, and bring power and life to those god would not help.

-he sold his soul to satan sometime around his mid-30s. [this is a sentence that sounds really fucking weird if u dont know much about tf2.] there are a few reasons behind that, but im only gonna talk about one:

-as i've said, medic spent a lot of time murdering nazis who had tried to go into hiding. that's difficult when theyre trying very, very hard to cover up their past. medic struck a deal with satan- in exchange for the names, aliases, and locations of ex-nazis in hiding, he would kill them and send them straight to hell. his soul was just to sweeten the deal.

-ludwig does a Lot of experiments on captured and dead nazis, especially the painful ones. the ol' "removing a patient's skeleton" story was of a nazi officer medic had caught, and medical licence or not, ludwig would do it again in an instant

-medic's flock of homing pigeons, stolen from a wedding van, are like family to him. the original, stolen generation had more pretentious names, as named by their previous owner- mostly well known scientists and philosophers[Archimedes, Newton, Nietzsche, etc]. most of the pigeons he named himself have biblical, jewish names [Mordecai, Elijah, Rebecca, etc]

-ludwig is absolutely never prim, proper, or orderly. if he is wearing a coat that DOESNT have blood and bird shit on it, wait 5 minutes and check again

-he has a tendency to hyperfocus on something and forget things like "humans need food and water to live". heavy usually helps him remember

-medic snores. loudly. and it sounds fucking awful. heavy is, sadly, a very light sleeper. it takes a loooong time for him to finally be able to sleep through medic's snoring, and it winds up being one of the only things he actually CAN sleep through. god help you if you step on a creaky board halfway down the hall, though, because heavy will wake up in an Instant

-if tf2 were in modern times, ludwig's music taste would include a Lot of kesha, klezmer music, black metal, and so on. its varied, is what im saying

-medic, pyro, and soldier all get along surprisingly well together, because they all have a case of "same brain? same brain!", all of them have issues dealing with other people and have problems with processing/understanding things, have trouble w/ psychotic episodes and the like, overall their minds are all wired oddly but somehow they can understand /each other/

-scout accidentally becomes medic's unofficial adopted daughter and thats a whole post and a half on its own. suffice to say medic would do anything for her

-engie, demo, and medic are all Science Gays

-medic also does his best to help demo with his Absolutely Massive Amounts of Trauma and Self Loathing, by at least being a supportive shoulder to lean on when demo tries to drink himself unconscious to forget it all. hes absolutely terrible most of the time at actually saying anything to help, but he can be a good presence, and he has birds. birds help anything

-he has a very casual fling going with spy, since early on in their time at the base. its usually in a state of "on-again off-again", with the latter usually having something to do with how spy acts with scout.

-obviously theres a lot i could say about heavy and medic's relationship, but to put it briefly- theres a loooong time where both of them are "i dont understand social interaction" gays.

-medic is the "i literally dont understand how to act around people im attracted to or that me being extremely overaffectionate around you is due to the fact that im falling in love with you, i dont catch your vague hints towards the fact that you feel the same about me because you literally need to hit me over the head with something in order to get me to catch onto it" gay

-heavy is the "i have spent so many years repressing so much of myself and keeping quiet and not drawing attention to myself, that i physically cannot bring myself to be up front about the fact that im attracted to you. im also afraid of misintepreting signals and i am instead going to assume your over-affectionate attitude is platonic and i am misreading things" gay

-eventually they figure things out and its good and soft and gay

ok its 3 AM and ive been writing on this for at least an hour and a half and i told Em i would go to bed by now dhgfkhhj