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infinites-chaser · 3 years

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Aaaaaaaaa vaaaaal! I love it! You’re amazing! Can i request for a dictionary prompt: wonderstruck, fluff with my beloved victor?

won·der·struck. adj. to suddenly feel awed delight or wonder.

(a word whose origins lie in Taylor Swift’s song, ‘Enchanted,’ in which she sings: this night is sparkling/don’t you let it go/I’m wonderstruck/blushing all the way home.)

there's a Rumi line he'd read once:

trade your cleverness for wonder.

and there are more eloquent translations (sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment, or perhaps it’s purchase bewilderment in this money-driven world), but he likes this one, likes its simplicity, its straightforward nature.

but here's the thing: he doesn't do wonder. because what's there to wonder about, when your day's perfectly planned, what in the mundane and routine schedules is there to be surprised by, to find awe in?

there's nothing, that's what. he finds flaws. finds errors, wrinkles in reasoning and calculations. irons them out.

meetings, paperwork, rinse, repeat. day in, day out.

nothing changes. he's not sure he wants it to.

he likes it when everything's predictable. some days he uses his Evol to make sure it is.

better a moment planned, he thinks, a moment perfected, than a moment missed because he hadn’t anticipated it at all.

day out, day in. paperwork, meetings. rinse. repeat.

because he doesn't do wonder. he doesn't. not like she does, her eyes as wide as they’d been seventeen years ago, still seeing the world at its best, as it could be, still seeing things in it to find beauty in, no matter how small. to love, no matter how silly, no matter how simple, no matter how mundane.

(and what does it mean to have gone through the worst of the world as a child and come out of it still hoping and dreaming, still full to the brim of kindness, still offering up love, unconditional, still wishing the world would do the same?)

she turns her face to the sky when the sun’s come out after a dreary morning’s rain and ends up five minutes late to their meeting,

she comes into his office one day, her hair mussed, jacket wrinkled, gasping out a breathless explanation of how there’d been a child on the bus complaining of the cold,

she sends him hastily captured pictures of things from her walk to work and the places the company takes her, flowers or pretty pebbles, the crack in a wall that she claims looks like his initials, clouds and the sky, once a blurry sunset captioned you should’ve come with us!

and he calls her dummy. says, don’t waste your time on things like that, says, don’t send me a picture of a ladybug, send me a copy of your finished report, silly,

when what he really wants to do is ask, why?

why send him blurry pictures when they both know with a DSLR in hand, she could create real art?

why turn in a report half-finished an hour past their agreed-upon deadline, filled to the brim with ideas that could be promising if she’d given them more than a moment’s thought?

why— why settle for imperfection if you know you can do better? what’s there to marvel at in the world’s flaws, in a fluke of a moment, clumsy and inelegant?

he watches her. watches how she moves through the world, tries to understand it. tries to ask her, but the words always come out wrong, too sharp, too confrontational, because half of him desperately wants her to do better, while the other half’s caught up in worrying if the way he’s been living hasn’t been quite living at all.

he snaps at her. she snaps back. (they’re both too stubborn for their own good.)

she turns in her reports with a huff. after a particularly scathing comment from him, she gives the next report to goldman, and he goes a week without seeing her at all.

in her absence, he pulls all the reports she’s ever given him from the file in his desk, reads them through, once, twice, thrice. again and again, until he’s worn his pride thin enough to let himself admit that she’s taken his criticisms in stride, that she’s improved. (he wonders if he can say the same for himself.)

the next time she walks into his office to deliver her report, he bites back his instinctive snipe. doesn’t rise to the bait of her clumsily-worded, thinly-veiled insult. instead, he counts to ten in his head. once, twice, thrice. takes a breath. tries a “well done.”

“this idea’s a good one,” he says, the words coming slow and stilted but genuine. “i can tell you put a lot of thought into it.”

he adds on a “dummy“ before the shocked silence can stretch on for even longer.

she blinks. a slow, hesitant smile spreads across her face.

“thank you,” she says softly.

then, with more confidence:

“but, tell me, what can i improve?”

and against all odds, he feels an answering smile form on his lips as he replies.

because he doesn’t do wonder. doesn’t know how to see beauty in anything less than perfect, doesn’t know how to default not to criticism but to finding the silver lining of a situation.

he doesn’t. not like she does. but he wants to learn for her. he wants to try.

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ALIA! ALIAAAA! this is abysmally late and i am here to thank you once again for this prompt meme hnNNNNNGh i swear iM still working on your librarian ask too classes have just been devouring me :> but i just. really love this word and imo it r e a l l y suits victor goD you didn’t hear it from me but i have been developing the biggest appreciation for the victor/mc pre-relationship dynamic just like!! the new side of mc we see through victor and how his time’s frozen and her coming back into his life unfreezes it and to be human is to grow!! and be imperfect!! blahblahblah valslifephilosophysoapbox.txt and YEAH. i had this idea a while back and didn’t have time to finish it until now and hOPEFULLY IT DIDN’T GET TOO p r e a ch y and hopefully?? this is fluffy(?!?!) but gosh this was fun ^^ hope you enjoy <333 love you lots!

#mlqc #mlqc victor #val writes #mlqc fanfic #i have. many thoughts about victor/mc's different philosophies aND how they clash with each other but ultimately serve to #help each other grow as people #especially on victor's end #and MC just helps victor soften and relax and he kind of provides more structure to her idealistic goals #and YEAH. hm

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