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gammaliminal · 10 months

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Neon Troupe: Meet The Cast

(project intro) (written by an in-universe character, you'll see who they are :3)

I'm obligated to do this for... New hires. Here's everything which is need-know about the Contractors and some notable non-battlefield staff.

Alright first up, the Contractors, the people we've hired to fight the turf-war.

Offense:

The Recon (he/him) A calico house cat from Scotland, their owner uplifted them in a bid to compete in cat shows of fellow uplifted cats. When it was obvious that his lust for blood and annoying attitude was too much, his owner instead trained him in firearms and flying to become a hired gun.

The Chemist (he/him) He had always been an odd fellow. Having a tenure for a university in Russia, doing various under-the-table experiments and backalley chemistry projects, most of which were homicidal. When he needed money for said experiments, he decided to become a Contractor.

The Demolisher (she/her) A quite large and friendly(ish) woman from Mesoamerica, she was conscripted some time ago into the military, then afterwards she used her demolition skills for a more productive purpose. After then getting replaced by robots, she gone and started blowing up production lines and robots left and right. We convinced her to take out her rage for a pay check.

The Charger (he/him) A strange German man who seems almost hesitant about murder. From what we can tell, he invented his jets some years ago in a weird jousting competition hosted by him. After it got bloody, he decided his deadly skill in swords could be sold…

Defense:

The Spark (she/them) Coming from Japan, we observed she had a flagrant disregard for other's safety if it fed her curiosity, or for her need to rant about electricity in others' ears. Despite quite a few of our staff objecting to having her hired, we decided the noise was worth it for a skilled contractor and someone who could fix the office's lights.

The Exosuit (she/her) A quite lithe woman from Australia, she had been a computer scientist in college. Needing to do manual labor for money, she got her hands on an exosuit, but eventually that wasn't enough. Calling up one of her more physically minded friends, she slowly modified it into a killing machine. We also note she has a smoking problem…

The Technician (they/them) Always the overachiever, they graduated from all branches of engineering in a university from Britain. Then they got drafted into the war, and used those PHDs for military research and military hardware. After it ended, and with a new taste for blood, they decided to hire their miracle skills out. We won't judge their financial decisions.

The Caretaker (they/them) Alright, we honestly don't have much of an idea where this guy came from. Tracking the breeds of their animals, their clothing, and their equipment, they seem to be from the Exclusion Zone in Ukraine. The few times they speak, it's through a voice changer and either emotionless or highly passionate. We do know they spend their paycheck on their animals though.

Support:

The Hunter (he/him) We've received multiple complaints about this guy. From the east coast of the US, he was a pro airsoft player. Eventually, he got bored and, after getting banned from tournaments for his modified rifle and his massive ego, hired himself into actual warfare. No, we're not firing him.

The Nurse (she/her) From somewhere in the Caribbean, she became a pretty successful nurse, even when she had to take a week off for a drug trip. After losing her license through a count of murder, multiple counts of drug dealing, and a lot of drug (ab)use; she got into mercenary work despite seemingly having a genuine heart.

The Trickster (they/them) From the few bits and pieces of history we can gather, this enigma seems to previously be a dancer from Canada. At least, we think, could be another of their tricks. Anyways, their skills in trickery and espionage seems to be unmatched. As their ingenuity, if their cloak and disguise tools are made by them.

The Vandal (he/them) From the west-coast of the US, of our operating territory, comes this delinquent. His rage at the system landed him with a life sentence in prison. Though, our headhunters saw potential in him. We decided it was worth making various deals so as long as he's still with us, he isn't being hunted by the cops. Noted for his drinking problem, though, it seems he's mindful of not being drunk on the battlefield.

Special:

The CEO (he/him) CEO of an oil company allied with us, small time politician, and the 37th recipient of the miracle body replacement. His faux-adventurous attitude is only superseded by his paranoia about how much money he has. While his consciousness is transferable, your paycheck is getting docked each time he has to replace his body.

Now as for our non-combatants, well, you might see some of them in the background. Please don't disturb them as either they're doing important work or on break.

Starting off with ones hired by ORG and PNK we have

The Hack (they/them) A small-time IT expert and cybercriminal in the newly made frontier of the internet. After they got into hot-water with too many international entities, we bailed them out in exchange for working with us. Got to cover all our bases (and we desperately needed someone who could navigate our server room).

The Janitor (he/him) A quiet man without too much to say, drifting through the building cleaning up any mess that appears. He previously worked as a hired gun in the 60s, but those days are long passed and asking him about it gets nothing besides side-eye and a light grunt.

The Secretary (she/her) A women hired by the CEO for his busy work and bookkeeping, she's barely out of college and already doing such big work. She seems always overworked and underpaid, relinquishing the moments of break she has. Also seems to like me a lot for no particular reason.

The Courier (she/them) A crafty women, while quite young she is very good at what she does. Ie: Piloting drones for deliveries, mail, and notes from upper management. She's really quite jovial, gratingly so. While they haven't met yet, I expect her to be good friends with the Spark.

Now for the ones on our payroll, we have

The Public Announcer (PA) (they/them) I'm not allowed to say much here. They're the one over the speakers managing the rounds and matches, announcing the state of the battlefield to our Contractors. (Though, off the record, I kind of hate them, and love them? I've said, too much so, will not be elaborating)

The Proxy (he/him) That's me, hey there. I act as a middlemen and body guard for the PA, doing their wetwork and speaking directly to the Contractors. Off the books, I'm probably the most reasonable one here, even if that includes liking my (mildly homicidal) boss. Please… Don't let that get on record.

The Therapist (one of: he/him, she/her, they/them) The company hired them more as a kind gesture then anything else really. This varying-gendered person does seem to be genuinely qualified and reasonably successful. Though, they seem overly unprofessional with our Contractors, and do a large amount of check ins with them without reason.

The Dispatcher (any/all) Our quartermaster, tactician, strategist, and middle manager. She's quite an old hat in the business, having been in the parent companies to ours and even being the previous PA, til [REDACTED] took over. Nowadays they mostly drift around the office making small talk and constantly organizing and planning stuff.

The Driver (he/him) Ah yes, the guy who picked you up. He's the one who transports important personnel and important packages with his quite fancy car (it's bulletproof too, don't ask me how i know). He's an ex-Mafia actually, but then he decided to look for bigger things...

Oh, and finally, there's someone I need to caution you against

The Eye (???/???) Alright let me go off the books one more time, has anyone else seen this guy? Faded green suit, suitcase, fedora? I swear I've seen them watching the battlefield from a distance but besides faded Polaroids I haven't seen anyone mention them…

(and that's all of them! hope you like them and their emblems, as provided by @schmegaman-x!!) - Ξλ

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rosainta · 22 days

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Team Fortress 2: 12 Flash Fiction Excerpts

('ms pauling' by makani on DeviantArt: https://www.deviantart.com/makani/art/ms-pauling-208768568)

(Author's Notes (A/N) at the end. For now, enjoy these slices of TF2 writing cake, baked with the batter of my mind!) * * *

1 "The Runner's a Fool."

[Written 10-3-2024]

Scout’s heart was bursting as he ran through the underbrush.

He didn’t look back; he couldn’t. Not after what he saw. If he had known sooner, he might not have spent so much energy trying to woo her...

Maybe he wouldn’t have made such a fool of himself.

2 "Player of The Heart."

[Written 10-3-2024]

“Fine, one more time”, he grumbled.

Pauling gleamed as she turned to the tape player. Changing the song to something more romantic, she hummed along and placed herself into his arms. They began to sway with the music.

Sniper felt his heart racing, but his thoughts raced quicker.

He wondered: would the one he really loved be into this too?

3 "Long Overdue."

[Written 10-3-2024]

Spy knew what he had to do.

He sat down next to the crying boy, gently putting a hand on his back. “Screw off!” the younger yelled, pushing him away.

Seeing him like this broke him; it did every time. But he took a deep breath and said what he should have all those years ago:

“I am sorry, Scout.”

4 "What Happens if You Feed the Machine? (Or In This Case, Water It?)"

[Written 10-3-2024]

“Yer no fun, lad!”

“Come on now, you know how I’ve been goin’ dry...”

“What’s one bottle a’ scrumpy goin’ to do to you?”

“Well, let’s see here. How many eyeballs o’ yours do my teleporters teleport per use?”

“Er, one.”

“Well, expect that to be one less the next time ‘round, pardner.”

He chuckled, and in an instant, he gulped it all down.

5 "Soldier's Solace."

[Written 11-3-2024]

Soldier stared at the grand moon from the roof of the base.

After the day’s fighting and bread teleporting, the other mercenaries were off to bed. But Soldier remained, smiling contentedly from under his helmet without another care in the world.

Somehow, he knew that right then and for as long as he dreamed, everything would be alright.

6 "Буквы говорят о любви."

[Written 12-3-2024]

If Heavy learned one thing in all his years of studying Russian literature, it was that writing wasn’t something you did; it was something you became.

So, picking up the ink pen, he let his hand go and embodied with all he had what meant most to him.

“It is time I tell you, Doktor.”

7 "Like The Warmth of a Fireplace."

[Written 13-3-2024]

Pyro looked at Engineer as a child does a Mall Santa, clapping. “Huddah, huddah!”

“Okay, one more, just for you.”

The technician took a deep breath and began to strum on the old guitar, his low voice singing a song of pink skies. Pyro swayed to the beat in bliss.

And, with every hum, the two grew closer.

8 "A Smile Means A Million Words, That Is Until You Speak."

[Written 14-3-2024]

Scout liked sketching.

While words weren’t his forte, art allowed him to express what he felt but could never say. He licked his lips, furrowed his eyebrows, and furiously scratched at the page with a pencil. Every detail, every form-- they had to be perfect.

When he was done, he proudly smiled at his creation.

And it smiled back.

BONUS!

As he admired his creation, he didn’t notice Sniper approaching him.

“And just what are you scribblin' off today, mate?”

Scout snapped around, flustered. He wasn't expecting company, and especially not from him.

“A-ah, hey, Snipes!", he blurted out. "It's nothing, really. Just another drawing of Spy screwin’ those... stupid French bread swords, whatever ya' call 'em.”

As he stammered an excuse, his face slowly turning red, he didn’t realize that his creation's rough, sketched face-- a picture of the marksman himself!-- was peaking through the corner of the sketchbook in the crook of his arm. Sniper paused for a moment as he stared at the work in awe, its own happily gazing back at him. Then, snapping out of his trance, he wordlessly turned back to smile at the younger man.

“You’ve got some talent, kid," he said, softly. "Please, don’t waste it.”

Then, quick as he came, he ambled away.

Scout was left standing, bewildered, and admittedly a bit confused, and he slowly turned back to look back at his drawing.

He traced the rough face of the man, looking wistfully with a tinge of giddiness in his eyes.

“If only you knew...", he whispered to himself without thinking. "Maybe then I could draw you like one of my French girls.”

Then, upon realizing the stupidity of his own remark (and of its disgusting, Spy-related... Frenchness), he immediately gagged.

“Ew, crap, no!”

Somewhere in the distance, Spy instinctively rolled his eyes.

9 "I Feel Olive!"

[Written 15-3-2024]

Medic pinched his nose, a low groan rumbling from him.

"What is wrong, Doktor? You seem stressed", Heavy asked, concernedly lifting his nose from his book.

Medic turned to him, tired eyes smiling weakly. "Ah, it iz nothing. Just... ze dull, useless legal documents. You know, as per usual."

"Well, if it makes Medic feel any better, Heavy ran out of olive for sandvich, so eating it was practically useless! I could not even digest it without big frown", he said, frowning in turn.

He grumbled, continuing, "What Heavy means to say is... you are not alone in your troubles."

Medic paused for a bit, before laughing and grinning back at the giant. He was grateful for this goofy big old man.

"Oh, you alvays know what to say, Heavy. Come on, let us escape this prison of an office and find you that olive. I am getting quite hungry and ze papers can wait, after all!"

10 "Off-Target."

[Written 29-3-2024]

Scout's mind just. couldn't. think.

His head was jumbled, a puzzle with the pieces too lost in the messy maze of his brain ever to solve. He wished he could crack open his skull like he did the BLUs on the field; maybe that would knock some sense into him.

He really needed to focus. Sniper always did.

So, why couldn't he?

11 "Our Paths Shall Cross Again."

[Written 4-4-2024]

It pained him to see her like this.

So, for the first time in his life, he put his pride aside and took one last glance at the sleeping lady before leaving the room.

Scout wished he could stay all night and marvel at her familiar, sheer beauty, even as she slept so frail. But he knew what she needed most was not him, but help.

Who knew what she went through those 2 years?

He resigned himself to the couch, closing his eyes. His affections for Miss Pauling would have to wait, as they always did, but he was fine with that.

She was safe, and that’s what mattered most to him.

12 "Guess Who's Up For Surgery?"

[Written 6-4-2024]

Medic was practically laughing with joy! Or, in his peculiar case, cackling maniacally.

Ah, it was of no matter— the doctor was filled to the brim with inspiration! So many projects to start and bodies to stitch; oh, what a wonderful feeling!

Heavy smiled as he watched the doctor go about his merry way.

Sure, when he was in this mood, that likely meant imminent danger for all those around him (they’d be his newest experiment, no doubt), but seeing him happy always made Heavy’s heart feel a little lighter.

So, as the doctor bounced up to him with his newest rambling, he didn’t protest!

* * *

Author's Notes: Over the past weeks, I've been working on being more spontaneous in my writing—no planning, just writing with the flow! And what better way to do that than to write flash fiction about my favourite fandom? (Plus, I have been practically absent here (post-wise) for, what, months? So why not use this as an excuse to share them with you? Ehehe... Okay, let's forget I said anything; moving on!) Flash fiction, with its creative liberties and curt nature, is an excellent medium (not forgetting to mention the fact it's a disgracefully UNDERRATED form of media!) that inspires me to write because it sort of... brutally invalidates any excuse of author's block I have... since it is literally spilling the words from your conscience into text WITHOUT the worry of length (ah! My greatest enemies...). Plus, it is... sort of, maybe, kinda addicting because it's just so freakishly simple, and the more you do it, the more productive you'll be and feel! Isn't that wonderful? (It could even be a drug! Er, well, a good one... wait, is there even a thing as a good drug? Ah- nevermind.) Anyway, if you're struggling with author's block, I'd heavily recommend trying it. Of course, it may not work for everyone (and I am not here to legally endorse this like a paid sponsor!) but it's still worth a shot if you haven't yet already. And hey, if it doesn't, you can feel free to blame me for the waste of time! Don't worry, I won't mind. Before we go on, I have to take this moment now to thank the one sweet old woman (whom I've unfortunately forgotten the name of) who first taught me about it a few years back during a summer writing course. She taught me much about what I know and love today, so I owe this and much of my writing happiness and technique to her! Thank you, lady. May you continue to write on!! Anyhow, to give you more context, these are all excerpts taken from a private account (but not a secret one! It's out there... somewhere...) of mine, edited for quality purposes and also because a few of the original excerpts bugged me due to their... well, innate cringiness. Hopefully, there's less of it now, but I wouldn't count on my eradicating it as it seems that cringe is just a part of my habitual writing style (I am sorry to disappoint, unnamed woman from the course... I have failed you). I hope that at least is is bearable enough for you to read. However, if not, I offer you my greatest condolences. If you'd like some bleach for your eyes, I have that too. You can also tell by the number of Speeding Bullet and Red Oktoberfest excerpts that I was... in quite the shipping mood for some of them. So, if that doesn't bug you, feel free to indulge yourselves in these characters as I obsessively have over the course of writing these!! It would be my pleasure to offer that liberty to you (and perhaps, shamelessly to myself as well, ahaha..), so please, go ahead. Anyway, that's all of the random blurbs I have to ramble on about today. Thank you for reading- or skimming, at the very least- and please have a marvellous day, pally~!

~ Rosain Quivan

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tf2fansderogatory · 1 year

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guys hear me out. if the mercs were tf2 animatronics what would their mechanics be

my guy you just gave me an entire AU idea

RED and BLU are rival entertainment companies, both build animatronics that perform at restaurant locations and can be rented, FNAF-style. their animatronics are so similar that one *has* to be ripping off the other, but nobody knows which is the original and which is the copy so people just pick which one they go to based on the color scheme and aesthetic

Scout has two main functions; waiter/server, and entertainer via sports. he has impeccable balance and sure footing, making him perfect for carrying plates and other dishes across a room filled with rambunctious, running children. when it comes to entertaining, he has an entire portion of his memory bank dedicated to just about every major sport in existence. his AI’s pretty good in that if the kids don’t understand some of the rules for a game, he can easily roll with it and come up with rule modifications on the spot to make sure the games are as fun as possible. normal racing is a popular game, especially since Scout’s fast. a lot faster than he lets on.

Solly works as one of multiple story-teller bots, specializing in exciting, action-filled stories- 9 times out of 10, war ones. when he was being built, the poor engineer/mechanic/all-around technician (Miss Pauling) was too sleep deprived to come up with many ideas beyond war stories. Soldier also promotes general physical health, and will usually run through “training exercises” (fit for kids) with everyone in the room after the story is over. a lot of the parents think that only the boys would like Soldier and some of them actively discourage their daughters from visiting him but they’re DUMB. at least half of the crowd of yelling, confidence-boosted cadets is eager young girls raring to fight and prove that they can do anything the boys can. sometimes the kids’ll form teams and play-fight/do a mock war. Solly makes sure that nobody gets injured and everyone knows how to “fight” without actually hurting someone. he knows how to do it perfectly, after all.

Pyro does arts and crafts, sometimes with Demo or Engie. they also, by nature of their mute design, encourage kids to be more understanding of people who don’t talk for whatever reason, which then carries over to being more understanding of anyone not like them. Pyro’s room is by far the most colorful; walls painted like Pyroland, cork boards absolutely littered in drawings the kids have given them, the shelves in his personal room (basically a closet where he goes to deactivate at the end of the day) filled with trinkets the kids made. their room is also connected to a small outside area with a fire pit. it’s nice for kids to relax with him and just watch the fire go. he even has a built-in lighter function in his hands, so he can start up a fire whenever.

Demo is also a story-teller, but his story genres are mystery and mythological/paranormal. he has a specialized voice box that lets him make sound effects, but so that they still sound like a human imitating the sound. his room is one of the most popular ones, though he prefers to wander around the establishment instead of sit in his room when he’s not telling stories. he helps out Pyro with arts and crafts, occasionally, but another way he likes to spend time with the kids is by showing off the medieval weapons (models) he has, and the kids always find it cool. it’s a rather large collection, and the models are quite…accurate.

Engie is, just like his normal tf2 counterpart, good at just about everything and pretty overworked. if animatronics could get stress headaches, he would, although mostly because of his desire to get all of his jobs done perfectly all at once. the jobs in question are musical entertainment, assistant cook, helping with arts and crafts, and helping with maintenance after the place is closed. he can play any strummed string instrument, and has a separate voice box just for singing. he also has extensive knowledge of the inner workings most of the electronic systems in the building; lights, sound systems, fire suppression- but not security. the company doesn’t want to risk him going haywire or getting some kind of malware and then letting thieves and such in. Engie also has an issue with his programming for talking to adults- the speech part of his ai is lacking in that department, so he tends to pull from what he knows for talking to kids, which used to make him come across as condescending at times. by now, though, he’s tweaked it and managed to perfect that polite, disarming tone of voice. he’s very good at it.

Heavy and Sniper’s rooms are connected and are the two designated “quiet rooms”. Heavy also reads to/with the kids and Sniper also tells nature stories, but for the most part they just keep a calm environment. kids with sensory issues, kids who get overstimulated, and even just kids who want to take a nap come to their rooms. there’s plenty of differently textured stuff available if someone needs to ground themselves or just wants to feel a certain texture. as for Heavy and Sniper themselves, they’re very calm and keep their voices low. Sniper makes sure everyone’s doing alright and doesn’t need anything, and Heavy deals with kids that are getting too loud or rambunctious (he’ll guide them out of the room and give them a gentle scolding, then let them back in if they promise to behave). if, for whatever reason, a parent is the one causing the issue, it’s still rather easy to get the parent out of the room(s), especially considering the strength of the two

Medic is the first aid bot, of course. the are a handful of different first aid stations around the building, with buttons to call Medic to them if he’s not there already. something went a little wrong with his personality coding, making him that unhinged man we all know and love, but he’s surprisingly good with kids and filtering what he says to not disturb them. the kids adore him. like Engie, though, he has issues interacting with adults- but instead of pulling from kid interaction info and coming off as condescending, Medic goes off of default, bland, robot interaction and ends up being just…creepy. short, curt speech, a lot of staring (with eyes that are far too observant and watching to be comfortable), and over time it goes from creepy and emotionless to creepy and somewhat hostile. it’s clear he’d rather be anywhere but around the adult. if one is being very insistent on talking to him, he’ll take to tidying up the nearest first aid station, giving a few…specific tools a rather thorough cleaning.

Spy, on the other hand, deals entirely with adults. he greets people at the door, and ensures the adults are at the very least comfortable while their kids have fun. most people question why his face was designed the way it was (with a mask), but…he’s calm, sophisticated, charming, the perfect animatronic for the job and honestly a good conversationalist. so nobody ever bothers to ask. it’s just a design choice, after all. Spy’s second function is assistant security, which has two parts of its own. the first is if a kid gets lost in the admittedly very large building. he’s the one who tracks them down and guides them back to their guardian. the second is helping the night shift guards when the place is closed. on most nights, he just patrols with them and takes care of any issues by following normal protocol. sometimes, though, he can convince the guards to go home and get some rest, and he and some (or all) of the other bots patrol. if someone tries to break in on one of those nights, well…you weren’t expecting to break into the home of nine sentient, semi-malfunctioning robots and get out, were you ?

#this was fun thank you anon #posted by ikea #anon #tf2 #scout #soldier #pyro #demoman #engineer #heavy #medic #sniper #spy #tf2 bot au

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hazardmatter · 1 year

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My list of Sexymen!

This is a list of characters I think are sexy enough to be sexymen. By no means is is complete, and I will likely update it over time.

Spoiler warning!!!

There will be spoilers for some things here. If you don't want the following spoiled, probably best to look elsewhere.

Darkest Dungeon, Puss in Boots, Madness Combat, Calamity mod,

• The Ancestor! He's everyone's favorite moustached narrator. With his stylish stache and his relentless curiosity, no atrocities are too terrible for the name of knowledge, to the point where he passes off unleashing cosmic horrors and unethical experimentation off as necessary for his pursuits.

"An impressive haul! If you, value, such things..."

• Bounty Hunter/Tardif. The hired axe with a vendetta to settle. Tardif holds no remorse for taking lives, and has perfected his tactics for it. Cold and stoic, he can take on even the most daunting tasks with just a point, punch, and poke.

<Snort>

• Big Jack Horner! The chief chef, the pie president, the bakery boss. An imposing figure like he deserves the fitting amount of cosmic power. With his bottomless well of cruelty and complete disregard for any and all lives but his own, he's just the absolute worst.

"Can't bake a pie without losing a dozen men."

• Death. HOOH MAN this guy had me squealing in the theater. This dashing depiction of doom is sinister and cruel, showing joy in hunting down his prey to end them, and to be honest he's just absolutely awesome.

"Everyone thinks they'll be the one to defeat me. But no one's escaped me yet."

• Director Phobos. Nevada's tyrannical ruler, the god emperor himself. He's a large figure with an even bigger ego and a sense of superiority to the point he nearly destroys the world to become a god.

"Bear witness to THIS!"

• Sanford and Deimos!!! Yeah, a pair of people is kinda unfair, but it would be rude to split this dynamic duo of dopes up, they've got the best bromance this side of Nevada. (Yeah, better than you Jebediah and Hofnarr.) Sanford is the big buff bomb buddy, while his pal Deimos is the tiny technician twink teammate.

"More orifices than I can count!" - Sanford

"There you are~" - Deimos

• Yharim/The LORDE. Wow, I have a thing for people who ruin everything. Ancestor, Phobos, now him? Yharim is the orphan tyrant of the Jungle kingdom, which made him a bitter and ruthless leader that literally destroyed several civilizations.

"Auric man is always useful, dead or alive."

• The Devourer of Gods. Okay, a worm. I'm starting to get off the rails here, huh? The DoG is cocky and rude, willing to eat any powerful being to gain their strength, and seeing basically any living being as prey.

"Are you honestly that bad at dodging?"

•Any TF2 Merc aside from Scout. To be honest they're all awesome. My personal favorite is Medic, with his sadistic nature, cleverness, and mortifying genius. Scout though, ew.

• Caine. I don't know him much yet, but this circus showhost is without a doubt going to catch my heart. He's charismatic, classy, and fun as hell. I love him already.

"Are you ready to see something INCREDIBLE? . . . Well too bad, you're gonna see it anyway!"

#tumblr sexypeople #tumblr sexyman #darkest dungeon #puss in boots #madness combat #terraria calamity #team fortress two #the amazing digital circus

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chapstickman · 10 months

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“I just came from r/196” ask game

Saw another post. I think I should invite y'all to one of our longstanding traditions. Answer the questions then tag 10 (or more) people. I'll go first.

Name? Jarrod

Pronouns and gender? they/he, guy???

Sexuality? Pansecual

Country? USA MERICA FUCK YEAH🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅

Top 5 fandoms? hazbin/helluva, fnaf, team four trees two, i forgor the rest

What is your Most forbidden snack? fabuloso also chapstick

Would you pet a bug? scared scared scared of bugs. dont like them. scary scary.

Share a weird fact/story about yourself with the class. i love fixing things, no matter what it is. my silly little brain just latches onto it like a puzzle, which it kinda is. i can already fix most electronic devices, or alteast know how to (FUCK apple and their stupid fucking anti repair policy. thats actual fucking bullshit. i dont want to have to pay for a 200 dollar course and license to fix your shitty god damn phones. mac books and ipads are aight. but FUCK apple as a company. all this does is protect their silly little fucking income from their stupid ass fucking phones breaking all the fucking time. all it does is make it so that people who do fix phones for a living fucking cant, and no devices to fix means no food on the fucking table for them or their families. they're toying with peoples livelihoods for a bit of fucking profit.) if i dont know how to fix it (cars, microwaves, tvs, literally anything that could break) i want to learn

What does the color blue taste like? mmm yumby

What is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? the ocean. it goes on forever. it doesnt stop. i didnt realize that until i saw it in person. it stopped me dead in my tracks.

What is the stupidest thing you've ever done? ive got this protein bar. in 2020 (my second year of marching band, freshman year) i was eating a box of them on the way to marching band camp. i lost one. this was in july. i found it on the ground still sealed in january of the following year. i still have it. im going to eat it my senior year at the end of the year band dinner. i have not done it yet. im going into my senior year. im going to do it. it will kill me. i will not regret it.

Stupidest thing you've seen/heard someone else do/say? a pastor for a church i used to attend (unfortunately hes my uncle) blamed crime and evil on transgender people

Hyperfixation song? long list. Starman David Bowie, banana man tally hall, mr white keys cherry poppin daddies, play that funky music wild cherry, cant take my eyes off you frankie valli, sh-boom the ink spots, the devil went down to georgia the charlie daniels band

Is there any meaning behind your profile picture and/or username? I've been asked several times where "Chapstick Man!" comes from. It comes from TF2. I named a rocket launcher "chapstick gun" with the description "ngl chapstick taste kinda good" and then i thought the joke was funny and it stuck. my name is now Chapstick Man on like everything. i have not been sued yet. Im too cool to be sued.

Dream career as a child? also electronics repair technician (i am answering these out of order)

Dream career as an adult? still kinda a child ig. but i want to be an electronics repair technician, running my own little computer/electronics repair shop. i already know how to do it, i just need a building and to be 18 (i turn 18 in december) and people to come and give me their stuff to fix. i love fixing things.

Thoughts on cilantro? its aight ig

Have you ever been banned from a location and if so, why? I havent. but i plan to be. i am going to be silly and they cannot prevent it.

What is your cursed food combination? I did my burgers in ketchup if i want ketchup, i did my biscuits in gravy for biscuits and gravy

Trans rights? are epic!!!!!!

@everyone im lazy

#196 #rule

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