#ted lasso headcanon
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Jamie’s Training Coach
Pairing: Jamie Tart x Fem!Reader
Characters: Jamie Tartt, Fem!Reader, Roy Kent, Zava (briefly mentioned)
Warnings: Cursing (it’s Ted Lasso, don’t be surprised), Jamie being half naked, Roy being Roy, the coaching scenes, Reader wanting to hurt Roy, sexual innuendos from Jamie, Roy and reader are low key besties
Word Count: 993
A/N: Y’all already know what happened but I loved it so much... I’ve re-discovered my love for Jamie. That’s all.
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The beginning of training
When Roy offered to coach Jamie at Sam's restaurant, you were surprised (but happy with their now forming friendship, even if neither of them wants to admit it).
And then when it first happened, you couldn't believe that Roy was actually at the door.
You smacked Jamie's arm at the sound of the banging on the front door.
He does not move in the least bit, barely moves an inch (the prick, who you love... not right now though).
And you do it again, to which he whines. "Why are you hitting my arm?" He grabs your hand, holding it against his chest, not wanting to get injured any further.
You groan, squeezing your eyes shut even tighter. "Answer the door."
"Darling, if you keep hitting me, it's going to lead to a punishment which will make me miss my beauty sleep."
"Go answer the door or else I'm kicking you to the couch."
"I'm not a fucking dog."
The knocks are louder and louder as he talks back.
"Door, now."
He grumbles and slowly pushes himself out of bed, rubbing his eye along the way.
"Put pants on."
"No, you know I get hot."
"I get it, but you don't need to show your cock to the world."
"Why? You going to get jealous?"
"I don't think an early morning nap at a jail cell is something either of us want."
You slowly push yourself out of bed to follow him while putting on Jamie's favorite hoodie (for you) to wear.
-
You rub your eyes, "Who the fuck is at the-" you squint, not sure if you're seeing things correctly. "Roy?"
"Fucking hell," Jamie mutters.
"Hello, I'm going to... say sorry to you for waking you up but he needs coaching." He drops his arm, after staring at his watch. "All right, let's go."
"It's four a.m.," your boyfriend points out.
"Yeah," Roy nods. "We start at four a.m."
"I thought you were joking."
"How is that a joke?"
"'Cause it's four a.m."
"We start at four, so you can do three workouts a day instead of two."
He rubs his eye and sighs. "Okay, but it's four a.m."
"Do you want to be better than Zava or not?"
You roll your eyes, now realizing what this is about.
Jamie sighs, "well, how are we gonna see? It's dark out."
Sometimes you’re proud of how observant your boyfriend is... right now, not so much.
Roy puts on his headlamp, blinding the two of you.
"Fucking hell."
"Ah, shit. Roy." You put your hand in front of your face. "Turn that fucking thing off."
"No. Now get dressed or I start flicking your balls."
He scrunches his nose, turning around. "This is perverse."
Roy glances down at Jamie’s bare bottom, the light of his headlamp making it obvious.
You snicker because you know this is not what he was expecting to see... until his light blinds you. "I don't like you right now, Roy."
"Yeah, I'm not proud of me either. Neither of you are wearing any fucking pants."
You pout, fiddling with the end of the hoodie. "I have shorts on, they’re just... very short. I'm not going flash you like Jam-Jam."
Roy lowers his face with raised brows. "Jam-Jam?"
"Stop talking to him and go back to bed, love!"
-
During the training
"Why do you only sleep with a top on?"
"I get cold upstairs and hot downstairs."
Roy nods, "I get that."
"It's a stupid excuse for him to get laid. Don't listen to him, Roy."
Jamie throws up and his "coach" greets the passer byer.
"I thought you went to bed," he groans.
"I did." You push yourself off the bench and hold a bottle of water out for him, while rubbing his back. "But I also know that your body has yet to get used to "Roy Kent's training course". I have to make sure I'll have a boyfriend to come home to me."
Roy rolls his eyes when he sees that you've given him a hard stare.
-
Once Jamie's gotten used to training
He is all prepared to go next time, which annoys you.
"Don't wake me up. I'm gonna get eyes bags," you whine.
He chuckles, sitting on your side of the bed with his hand on your hip. "Since when did you care about that?"
You flip onto your other side, so you can face him. "Since I've been dating a cocky little shit who likes to train at four in the morning."
He chuckles. "You love it."
You slowly open your eyes and crack a smile. "Not right now. Go get downstairs and take your phone with you."
"I'm not a child."
"In case you need to escape from Roy."
"You know me so well, darling." He leans down to kiss you until he’s interrupted.
The pounding on the door traumatizes you. “Go, now.”
"Come on, Tartt! One more before dinner!"
"That's your cue, Jam-Jam."
"I told you to stop calling me that," he tells you with a smile.
"And we both know, I won't." He pecks your cheek and lips before running downstairs.
Jamie opens the door immediately, heavily breathing with his headlamp already on. "Let's go, Coach." He runs by Roy.
Roy puts his on and takes off.
"He better come back in one piece, Kent! Or you have to deal with me!"
"He'll live to fuck you another day."
Your neighbors shout at you.
“Shut up and go to sleep! Some people have to work!” You shout back to shut them up.
“She doesn’t scare you when she shouts like that?” Roy asks, always finding it amusing when you shout at people.
“Nah,” Jamie shakes his head. “It’s cute. She’s like an angry bunny.”
You shake your head, after checking on them one last time, before locking the door and going back to bed to play on your phone while you wait for your boyfriend to return.
#ted lasso#ted lasso headcanon#ted lasso imagine#ted lasso imagines#jamie tartt#jamie tartt imagine#jamie tartt imagines#jamie tartt x reader#jamie tartt x fem reader#jamie tartt x fem!reader#jamie tartt x female reader#jamie tartt x you#crazyk-imagine
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Random Ted Lasso headcanons because…why not:
Roy is an absolutely PHENOMENAL cook
On the other hand, Isaac can’t cook for shit like my guy burns water EXCEPT for breakfast foods. Isaac makes the best pancakes, waffles, French toast, etc.
Ted and Higgins both go to pride every year and wear a “Free Dad Hugs” shirt
When Frozen came out, Phoebe forced Roy to watch it so many times that he could’ve probably quoted it word for word (he took her to see Frozen 2 and ended up running into Trent and his daughter)
Whenever Trent’s daughter plays pretend with him and hands him an imaginary phone, he always comes up with the WILDEST scenarios for their game
One time at team karaoke (which became a pretty regular thing after the Everton F.C. match), Jamie and Colin sang Agony from Into the Woods and Jamie did the choreography (he definitely didn’t learn it because he rewatched the musical so. many. times. because he had a crush on Chris Pine *wink* *wink*)
Ted made the mistake of showing Me Before You at a team movie night one time and the entire team was sobbing by the end
Bumbercatch is the jumpiest mf ever but LOVES horror movies
One of Jamie’s favorite movies is Dead Poets Society and his favorite character was Neil (he was inconsolable when he watched it the first time and Neil died)
Beard knew about Trent’s crush on Ted and teased him about it every time he got flustered around Ted
The only times Roy isn’t the princess when he plays Princess and Dragon with Phoebe is when Jamie plays with her (Roy has SO MANY pictures of Jamie dressed as the princess on his phone and one is his wallpaper)
We all know that Jamie’s bi awakening was Roy and Keeley but Will’s was Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher in the Star Wars movies
Will was raised by a single mom who he loves more than anything (I saw someone else hc this and it makes so much sense)
Bumbercatch LOVES Buzzfeed Unsolved True Crime/BU Supernatural and low key religiously listens to a true crime podcast
#ted lasso apple tv#ted lasso headcanon#roy kent#isaac mcadoo#ted lasso#leslie higgins#phoebe ted lasso#trent crimm#crimmlet#jamie tartt#colin hughes#moe bumbercatch#coach beard#will kitman#will the kitman#tedtrent#tedependent#royjamie#royjamiekeeley
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some of my ted lasso headcanons that make so much sense i often forget they’re not canon:
dani is vegetarian
isaac has two moms. and multiple sisters. he’s the only guy in his family
jan is a true crime junkie
colin sleeps in a freezing cold room with fans going and twenty blankets
jamie is bi
richard refused to do one of those dna tests when the rest of the team did it for “bonding” for fear of not being 100% french (but he said he didn’t want them to clone him)
please share yours 🙏
#ted lasso#jamie tartt#dani rojas#isaac mcadoo#jan maas#colin hughes#richard montlaur#afc richmond#ted lasso headcanon
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I think it's funny so many RoyJamie and RoyJamieKeeley fics Roy has no idea he's bi, and everyone has a right to believe whatever they want, but just a reminder this man went to bar called "G.A.Y." with his yoga group, then ate crepes with drag queens.
So in my head canon his yoga group is a bunch of old queer women and he's just Roy the semi-out bisexual man that they adopted.
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The fact that Colin makes a point of saying that he doesn’t want to be a spokesperson in one episode, and then in the latest episode he says that he’s not gonna tell everyone and that the team knowing is enough, it makes me a bit fearful that there might still be a storyline about him being outed or nearly outed… but also I wouldn’t mind him coming out publicly.
Because here’s the thing: I still really hope that Colin gets to kiss his fella (presumably Michael) after winning a match.
And my other headcanon is that Colin might come out during a press conference or an interview, and that Baz might be in the Crown and Anchor with his mates during that and be emboldened by Colin’s statement and tell them that he’s also gay.
And then Mae asks “aw, is that friend from the other time, is he really your fella?” “Yeah.” “Awww… too bad he’s a West Ham fan, he will never be allowed in here, you hear?” “But Mae, he’s my boyfr-“ “NO EXCEPTIONS, I WILL NOT HAVE A WEST HAM FAN IN THIS ESTABLISHMENT”.
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you know what I’d love to see on ted lasso? it won’t happen but a man can dream
total football works and trent gets excited and hugs ted. like, throws himself at him like rebecca did when she apologized.
ted is not expecting it, but hugs him back (obviously)
actually, he hugs him even tighter
we get to see trent smiling over ted’s shoulder, a real smile, for longer than we usually get to see his smiles,
cut to the rest of the room just watching them with varying reactions (confusion, awww, why are you hugging trent crimm)
trent, still hugging ted, goes “ugh, of course you give amazing hugs”
IT WONT HAPPEN. BUT A MAN CAN DREAM.
#ted lasso#trent crimm#ted x trent#tedependent#tedtrent#tent#THATS THE FUNNIEST SHIP NAME#*TENT*#ted lasso season 3#season 3 spoilers#ted lasso headcanon
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dirty HC : giving ted a bj to help him relax
A NEED. thanks anon now i’m horny.
also i’m such a whore for giving Ted a good blowjob.
find my masterlist here.
he’d never admit it but that would be a wonderful stress reliever for him
you just lying him back and being like “i got you hun, just relax” would reeeeally do it for him
kissing all around him at first and then just licking up from the base to the tip until you can tell he’s had enough
digging your nails into his thighs while you slowly take what you can of him in your mouth
bringing up a hand to palm at his balls would make him WEAK
would have him throwing his head back and letting out some hot ass low groans
“shit, darlin’ that’s- oh fuck”
you’d be the first one to kinda do more intimate stuff like that with him so he’s forever going insane over it
moaning around him when you reach a hand down to touch yourself because how could you not
“s’okay teddy, cum for me”
def slams a hand down on the bed when you can tell he’s close so you go all the way down until your nose is pressed right underneath his belly
telling him how much you love that afterwards because you know he’s insecure about the dad bod
him nonstop moaning when he cums down your throat
partially from his orgasm, partially from the way you’re whimpering and moaning against him
even if it’s a quickie type of deal he still insists on taking care of you after
such a giver
praise would def help him relax a bit
“doing so good, love. did so good today”
totally the type to thank you, even after you’re married and all
taking it slow when he really needs to get rid of some tension
he’d rarely ask to fuck your mouth to get rid of tension, usually you’re the one asking him
that’s a led tasso type of moment
thanks anon!
#ted lasso x reader#ted lasso#ted lasso thoughts#answered#my writing#ted lasso blurb#ted lasso smut#ted lasso headcanon#ted lasso is hung let’s be honest#them khakis don’t hide a damn thing#ted show us your dick 2023
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Trent Crimm post-S3 headcanon:
Rebecca hires Trent to be the team's historian. She'd need someone who's good with words, has a positive track record of working with the team, and documented their goings-on - all clearly Trent.
But why does AFC Richmond need a historian? Colin came out. Roy Kent is the new manager. They're starting a Women's Team. They're in the Champions League. Take your pick; AFC Richmond will want to document their monumental history that's coming up. Who better to do it than the (now unemployed) person who just wrote a best-selling book about them?
Trent means so much to all of them now, and I'm certain they'd figure something out to keep him around the team, but this uses his skills perfectly and allows them all to build on their prior relationships.
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Don’t mind me, I’m just thinking about Trent Crimm and his gay little mug.
And about how Colin might see that gay little mug and put two and two together. I know it’s asking a lot of a sweet dumb himbo, but I believe in him.
#ted lasso#ted lasso headcanon#trent crimm independent#Trent crimm#Trent’s gay mug#afc richmond#ted lasso tv#colin hughes#Trent is Colin’s gay mentor#afc richmond himbos
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have we all considered that the show gave trent a rainbow mug and then confirmed he’s mlm, AND THEN PUT HIM IN THAT TRANS FLAG COLORED DOLLY SHIRT AND SAID NOTHING?
COINCIDENCE? I THINK NOT.
#[ he’s a gay trans man is what i’m saying ]#ted lasso headcanon#mine#ooc#trent crimm independent#trent crimm#ted lasso
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AFC Richmond as dads
Should all of them be dads? Probably not, but that won’t stop me from indulging myself.
Jan Maas
He is over the moon excited about it.
He’s almost as happy as he is scared shitless (but you’d never know he was scared).
As soon as he’s able to, he’s bringing that baby to Nelson Road to introduce them to everyone.
He even brought everyone the traditional beschuit met Muisjes to announce your baby.
He’s a pretty goofy dad, very playful and amusing for them.
Thanks to his height, your child misses nothing (but the same can’t be said for the people behind him.)
Jan has a very loose approach to parenting. He likes to let them make mistakes so they can learn from them.
Of course he’s there when they need and want him but he isn’t going to be over protective. They’re gonna fall when learning to walk or riding a bike and they’re gonna make mistakes.
Jan doesn’t want a perfect kid, just his kid is good enough.
Isaac McAdoo
Fucking Isaac.
He’s the exact opposite of Jan in the sense that he’s very overly cautious but about the wrong things.
He’s a nervous wreck about them learning to walk and run because he worries about them getting hurt but he’s also not good at remembering to latch cabinets closed or even close doors all the way.
He loves the baby with every fiber of his being but once they learn to walk it’s game over.
That child and any others are going to run laps around him.
He really thought he’d be able to keep up.
Bribes with Rolos.
He lives to see the two of you at the games.
Twins with the baby every so often and he had a special onesie made that looks like his jersey.
Sam Obisanya
He’s gentle.
He’s the parent who has full on conversations with the babbling infant.
Bedtime stories every night.
He doesn’t enjoy putting the baby down, his favorite thing is when he’s relaxing and the baby is just on his chest/in his lap.
Sam is all about the bonding experiences, he wants to have as good of a relationship with his child(ren) as he does with his own father. He wants to be the best father he can be.
His face really lights up when someone, anyone, asks about how you and the baby are doing and there is no off button for that.
Richard Montlaur
Another parent who has full-blown conversations with the baby.
He’s about halfway on the strictness spectrum.
Richard really wants them to be able to do things and learn on their own within reason, like he was raised.
But that being said, the second they’re old enough, he is taking them to his parents farm to show them everything.
He can be a goofy dad but he prefers to do it in the privacy of your flat.
In all honesty, he gets a solid B/B+ for his parenting skills.
He does have to call his parents a lot for advice because when it’s just him and the baby, he doubts himself.
Jamie Tartt
Scared. Shitless.
Jamie would rather jump off the London bridge than risk doing something to mess up the kid so he’s incredibly overly cautious.
He calls his dad for advice.
I’m just fucking around. He’d rather move to Texas than call his father for parenting advice. He actually calls Ted.
And side note, Ted answers every single time. He answers all of Jamie’s questions no matter how stupid they may or may not be.
Jamie holds the baby as they’re made of glass because for the longest time he’s afraid just breathing wrong will make the baby hate him or mess them up.
He has so much love for the child but for the longest time its overshadowed by his anxiety.
Once he gets a hold on the anxiety though, he’s just the ultimate girl dad.
He excels whether or not he thinks so and that baby loves him.
Dani Rojas
Dani is the most fun parent.
There’s no crying fit he can’t stop.
And thank god for it.
He’s more than happy to take the night shift unless he has a game the next day, which is fair.
He really enjoys singing the songs his mother sang to him when he was a growing up.
He gets a little lost sometimes, but his hearts always in the right place.
He has high hopes they’ll like football and want to be around it, he really wants to bond over it but he won’t force it.
Thierry Zoreaux
He's kind of nervous because he’s so far from home and he always thought he’d raise his children around where he was raised so they can have the same experiences he did growing up.
He’s the one who reads parenting books and goes to the preparation classes.
This man is ready for everything.
He takes a logical approach when it comes to making decisions about the baby.
The most illogical thing he does is buy baby yeezys. Multiple pairs of tiny little yeezy shoes that he can match with his own.
Moe Bumbercatch
First of all, Moe knits so many blankets and booties and little toys for the baby its unreal.
He spends the entire pregnancy knitting things, including a little miniature version of his jersey to put on the baby’s teddy bear.
He likes to take the baby out and about to show them the city.
Moe isn’t the best at keeping a schedule because he’s so easily distracted but he tries his best, he’s gotten a little better.
He truly enjoys playing with the baby and bonding and being a dad.
He loves being a footballer, he loves being a partner, and he loves being a dad.
He’s good at keeping calm when things get hectic, and they do sometimes, but he always manages a level head.
Colin Hughes
He’s not allowed to put the baby in the Lamborghini. It’s too much car for him.
He’s very fun, very active, very present overall.
He’s good at making the baby laugh and his camera roll proves as much.
Colin has the time of his life with the baby around.
He’s a good lad, great with any child you give him.
A+ in child rearing with a D in driving.
8/10 times he falls asleep with the baby on his chest but 100% of the time he will wake up if you take the baby to put in their bassinet
Tag Team: @bdffkierenwalker @anarchistbeauty @tsundere-cherry-girl
#Ted Lasso#AFC Richmond#AFC Richmond Headcanon#Richmond Greyhounds#Jamie Tartt#Colin Hughes#Moe Bumbercatch#Sam Obisanya#Isaac McAdoo#Thierry Zoreaux#Dani Rojas#Richard Montlaur#Jan Maas#Ted Lasso Headcanon
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Thinking about the Crimmlet wearing an oversized England shirt and being so excited for the World Cup final that she can barely sit still on the sofa to watch it between Trent and Ted (who is still sulking a little bit over USA getting knocked out).
And about Jamie using his England connections to get a Mary Earps shirt for Phoebe because she is her favourite player and is upset Nike refuse to sell the replica goalkeeper shirt.
And about Shannon taking a break from training with the AFC Richmond Women's team to watch the final with all the other players.
And about Rebecca flying Nora out to see the final in Australia (they go first class on a Qantas flight because Nora refuses to take Rebecca's private jet).
And about Keeley doing a series of TikTok videos with everyone at AFC Richmond to show their support for the Lionesses. Amongst others, there's one with all the women who work at Richmond, one with Macy Greyhound wearing a little England kit, and a montage of times the English AFC Richmond himbos made Roy growl by jumping out and singing "It's coming home, it's coming home, it's coming, FOOTBALL'S COMING HOME" at him.
#basically just thinking a lot about the women's game and how much it has progressed since i was playing in an academy as a teenager#and getting a little emotional about it all with my brain processing it through ted lasso headcanons#anyway I would draw these if I had any artistic talent#the crimmlet#tedependent#trent crimm#ted lasso#jamie tartt#phoebe o'sullivan#phoebe kent#nora collins#rebecca welton#afc richmond#roy kent#keeley jones#ted lasso headcanon#World Cup 2023#wwc23
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babes imagine henry getting angry with ted and giving him the silent treatment and only talking to you 🤭
poor ted would be so sad and you’d have to talk to henry about how that’s not the right way to handle things but also ted would be so happy henry has someone else he can confide in & go to
AN: this might be a bit more angsty than expected, but i think it's still very sweet (michelle lasso, can you fight?) thanks for the request, cal!
at first you’re pretty sure its gonna blow over in a matter of hours: in the couple of years you’ve known those two, they have never been able to stay mad at each other. when it doesn’t, you become torn between how much you love the extra cuddles (for a 7yo, henry lasso is notoriously sweet, but he has so much energy that he finds it hard to stay put for too long, just like someone else you know) and the way it breaks your heart to see ted mopping around the house while henry stops himself on his tracks whenever he wants to suggest something the two of them usually enjoy together
these two are simply not cut out to be away, which is why you avoid talking about michelle: it makes no sense to you how someone could fall out of love with ted lasso, but it makes you furious to think about that first year she practically forced them apart…but that’s a line you shouldn’t cross, and you know it.
“he’s down?” its day 3 of whatever brought this on, and ted’s too tired to act like he doesn’t miss his boy terribly.
“out like a light” you whisper, climbing into bed to wrap your arms around him from where your boyfriend sits by the edge, caressing his chest as you lay a kiss to the back of his neck “I know I shouldn’t ask, but is everything okay back in kansas?” they weren’t like this when you went out with a friend sunday afternoon, before the weekly scheduled facetime meeting with the two and michelle. if something happened…
“michelle’s had something come up at work so she’ll need him to go there a week earlier” you heard what he wasn’t saying, that your boyfriend had said it was okay practically before she asked, no matter what he thought on the matter. you also knew henry could tell when something hurt his dad’s feelings and that he hated it almost as much as you. “he’s not happy i told her i’d see about moving his plane tickets”
“i’m sorry, darling. that explains things, he’s sad about…”
“he’s mad at me, honey” his voice is quiet when he interrupts, bringing your joined fingers up so he can kiss your knuckles. “he doesn’t wanna go”
“what if you went with him, ted?” his boy doesn’t like change, that much you have been around long enough to be sure of. there’s a not so tiny part of you that doesn’t want them both gone at the same time, but you’re an adult. you can take a few weeks away, right? if you can’t, they never have to know; “just for a few days?”
“baby…that won’t fix things. henry doesn’t wanna go to kansas early cause if he does, he’s gonna miss your birthday” you’re still processing what he said when he moves the both of you so you're straddling him, thumb brushing your bottom lip “he’s been planning a surprise party for months now. we know you don’t like to make a fuss, don’t worry ‘bout that. it’s just gonna be a few friends for dinner but he’s taken charge of everyone”
“ ted, that’s so fucking sweet” you’re doing your best not to cry with every new word that comes out of his mouth, both of your focuses changing when you hear quick steps coming down the hall, halting at your half closed door “hen?” ted doesn’t fight it when you climb off him, turning to face the little blondie on the threshold
“mum, i don’t feel good” your body freezes for a second before the pain in the kid’s voice pulls you out and forces you to focus on the sweat coating his body and the barely conceived tears that fall the moment henry crashes into you, face smushed onto your stomach “hurts”
“is it your tummy, bub?” he’s hot under the fingertips you run up and down his back, clinging to you like he thinks you’re about to be taken away, the way he called you making your heart leap where it beats against your chest
“don’t know” henry doesn’t even fight his father when the man picks him up, checking for his temperature and shaking his head, the worry lines between his brows getting deeper when he buries further into his warmth. theodore, does, however manage to keep a calm facade, meanwhile your head is going in a million directions at once: should you get him in a bath? find an extra blanket? a driver that can take you to A&E? he’s hurting and all of a sudden you’re hurting too…surely his real mother would know what do, no matter how you feel about her, she wouldn’t just stand there while he cries..
“where’d you go, honey?” ted is looking at you like he knows what you’re thinking. he probably does, has been able to pretty much from the day you met. when he looks at you, he is always watching, after all
“sorry! sorry, what can i do? do we still have ibuprofen downstairs? i will go check for it”
“no, let me. here, you two climb in” he pulls the bedding out of the way as he speaks, gently laying henry on his pillow. “breathe, sweetheart, it’s just a fever. it’ll come down soon enough” you feel stupid and lost but you let him wrap you in his arms for a moment.
“you should stay with him, ted”
“i’ll be back in a sec, my love”
“but what if he needs to…”
“he needs his mama right now, that’s it” his tone is final. it settles you. you can panic later, you decide. now, you lay as still as you can, trying not to disturb, only for henry to climb half on top of you before his dad can even get to the hall. you let him. after all, for you, the lasso boys and what they need always come first.
especially when what they seem to need the most is just you.
#ted lasso#ted lasso fic#ted lasso fluff#henry lasso#ted lasso x reader#ted lasso x you#ted lasso blurb#ted lasso headcanon#ted lasso fanfiction#ted lasso fanfic
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Musical Episode of Ted Lasso
I’m Still Standing, Elton John
Sung by Jamie, very dramatic obviously. I feel like he’d be singing while running through Richmond or something
Sway, Michael Bublé
Sung by Dani, complete with an insane dance number featuring his two girlfriends (?)
I’ll Make a Man Out of You, Mulan
Sung by Roy, featuring the team. No seriously go watch this on youtube and imagine it’s the team. Them walking onto the pitch to the intro?? So good. Anyways these parts sung by these characters.
Don’t Go Breaking My Heart, Elton John/Kiki Dee
Sung by Jamie, Roy, and Keeley. I feel like Jamie and Keeley start it off singing to Roy/each other and Roy is like 😐 and eventually they sing “don’t go breaking my heart” together and Roy is like “I won’t go breaking your heart” 🙄
please add songs you think would be in it 🙏 i’m so curious
#ted lasso#jamie tartt#roy kent#dani rojas#keeley jones#jan maas#moe bumbercatch#isaac mcadoo#colin hughes#ted lasso headcanon
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I’m so psyched for headcannons!!! What about one that’s a little angsty like you and Ted on a break?
i’m glad you’re excited! thanks for sending this in! we all love a little angst. (tagging @carmylasso because I know she’s all about some angst)
got a lil long winded with this one and just ran with it, don’t say i didn’t warn you!
also, spoilers for season 3 if you haven’t watched yet.
ted would absolutely overthink everything
i feel like he’d intiate it while dealing with the whole dr. jacob mess
he thinks about how easily michelle cheated, how it was right under his nose
how he had NO idea it was even happening
his anxiety gets the best of him and combined with the stress of the team he has a “you know what? let’s push everyone away” moment
you guys had only gone on a couple dates, but have been close friends since he moved to richmond
he felt he’d gotten over Michelle enough to where he could finally express his feelings for you without that getting in the way
def would do it after the phone call, and a couple glasses of whiskey
he does it over the phone, his words are slurred and his voice is thick and you can tell somethings just wrong, but he hangs up before you can question him any further
you text him
“Ted, please talk to me about this. Things have been going good, I thought”
“They were. It’s not you, I’m sorry.”
and that’s it for a couple days
EESH maybe he doesn’t show up to work for the rest of the week, calls in “sick”
and when he tries pulling that excuse the next week, beard & roy go over to his apartment and straighten him the fuck out
they make him shower, help him clean, make him eat
“What does y/n have to say about all of this?”
“She uh- she don’t know.”
and they think about how you acted at work and put the pieces together
they lovingly rip into him about how he’s known you for over a year now, how they know he’s hurt by michelle’s cheating but not everyone is like that
what gets him is when they talk about how you’ve been at work. not happy or bubbly as usual, eating alone in your office, always having a sniffle and puffy eyes in the halls.
“Shit, y’all.. I-I did that to her.. I was just tryin’ to avoid getting hurt again I never meant to-“
Beard shakes is head and is like “No, tell her that”
would have a therapy session the next day and explains everything to dr sharon, she also tells him that he handled that wrong and should’ve just let you in, or asked for some reassurance from you
after that, he goes to your apartment with flowers and shaky hands
you answer in a robe, wine bottle behind you, eyes red and swollen, he can tell you’ve been crying.
your usually tidy living room is super cluttered
“Can I come in? I’ve got some explainin’ to do.”
breaks his heart when you sit on the opposite end of the couch instead of right beside him
he explains what happened with michelle, his thought process of not wanting to get hurt again, all of it
“I wasn’t the one that did that, Ted. I shouldn’t be punished for her mistake.”
“I know.. That was unfair, and I’m sorry.”
definitely not the type of guy to ignore the fact he made a mistake
“This won’t work without trust, Ted. I cant be in a relationship with you if you don’t trust me.”
“There was never an issue with trust, it was just- I was scared. So scared, y/n.”
“Then tell me that next time. Tell me what you’re scared of, or if i’ve done something to make you feel scared, or if you just need reassurance. I can work with that, Ted, but not if you just shut me out.”
“Do you think we could maybe uh, make some sorta system for when I’m feelin’ that way? Because I can’t promise I won’t be kinda scared for a while but I don’t want it messin’ with what we’ve got goin’ on. Don’t want her messin’ up anymore of the good things in my life.”
sooo that’s what you do. maybe similar to the “oklahoma” situation, you come up with a word for when he’s feeling scared or anxious, particularly when it’s related to the relationship
tears up a bit, it’s just pretty emotional overall
maybe you sit in on a session with dr sharon
i do think he’d make some strong improvement after that, like how we’ve seen with his panic attacks
would set boundaries about things that make him especially anxious, and asks you to do the same
very open and honest as a lover, regardless of the whole michelle shitshow
so apologetic for a while because he know what he did was wrong
oh god just imagine him holding while he calms down that night
he’d need you so close
just needs to feel you around him
needs to feel you breathe, smell your shampoo, needs to know you’re there for him
i’m so fucking soft for this man
thanks anon!! this was fun!!
#ted lasso x reader#ted lasso#ted lasso thoughts#answered#ted lasso headcanon#ted lasso fic#ted lasso imagine#ted lasso angst#my wrtitng
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I do not remember writing this but third headcanon from the discord archives (it’s more like a premise for a fic that I will never write than it is a headcanon but it does amuse me greatly so I’m counting it?)
Basically it’s a Jamie/Colin idea where Colin accidentally buys an empty shell at the pet store but he thought he adopted a hermit crab that was very very shy, and Jamie has to keep moving the shell around the enclosure so that Colin will believe it’s alive until Jamie can find an actual hermit crab for him and make the switch. He doesn’t want to break Colin’s heart by telling him it’s an empty shell.
Except Colin realizes one day that it’s empty and thinks it must have escaped, but doesn’t want to upset Jamie, who has been so dutifully checking on the hermit crab, so he also starts moving the shell to different spots to try and pull off the same trick so Jamie isn’t heartbroken over their ‘lost’ pet.
So they are both trying to save the feelings of the other by co-parenting an empty shell. Which is how they somehow end up with 2 hermit crabs after they both try to secretly make the switch.
Colin thinks: “oh our hermit crab wasn’t missing after all, he came back!”
And Jamie thinks: “oh, I guess our hermit crab really WAS just shy and hiding”
Neither addresses that they now have 2 hermit crabs in the tank so they both pretend to think that there have been 2 hermit crabs this entire time.
Basically they are gaslighting themselves and each other via hermit crab
The truth does not come out until several years later, when Colin tells their friends the story about how “and sweet Jamie never realized I tried to replace our pet with another hermit crab.”
Which leads to Jamie shooting out of his seat to yell in realization, “WAIT YOU REPLACED THE CRAB? I REPLACED THE CRAB! Are you saying we both knowingly took care of an empty shell for 2 weeks just to try and sneak a new crab into the enclosure to replace it behind each others backs?”
“I was trying to save your feelings!”
“I was trying to save YOUR feelings!”
Poor Roy just has to sit there and process this information in silence because fucks sake.
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