Look ik this is more Ajax than FL related but its angst o’clock so just hear me out
As you spend more and more time with FL you sometimes ask Childe(Ajax) if you can see FL for the time, maybe its to cuddle for the night, maybe its something else
Childe isnt an easily jealous person. With other people; he knows his capabilities and he doesnt see people as competition with you(he sees them as competition to fight instead)
But this? this is different.
He isnt jealous. he’s insecure.
Childe is an anxious man when he’s worried or concerned, definitely overthinker.
Do you love FL more than you actually love him as a whole? is FL the reason you love him? do you see him as just a connection to lead to FL?
One day when you come home, you search for Ajax.
Pure silence.
And its the first time youve seen him feel the need to hide under covers, curl up and stay in silence. He was never one to cry easily so he just stays there almost frozen, eyes wondering just like his mind on all his insecurities. The only tome youve seen him like this is when he’d have flashbacks or nightmares of his time in the abyss, you can tell that he needs comfort.
The idea of being viewed as just a bridge to a particular part of him makes him feel insecure.
hey?? HEY???? who said you could make me cry??? /lh
when you see him curled up on the bed you're immediately filled with worry, sitting down and asking if he's alright. Childe doesn't respond, only scrunching himself up further, but he begins to tremble when you rub his back and gently tell him that you're here if he wants to talk or just needs company. suddenly he lunges and slots himself into your arms, gripping the back of your shirt as he hugs you and sobs, burying his face into your shoulder. you pet his soft ginger hair and shush him, hugging him tightly as he cries, and you say nothing in order to allow him to weep freely. after a few minutes the cries die down and Childe looks up at you, his normally dull eyes shining with tears
in a quiet, hitching voice, he asks if you still love him, or just love Foul Legacy, and your heart shatters right then and there
your grip tightens until it nears the vice-like hold Childe has on you. of course you love him- you love both him and Foul Legacy, every part of the man known as Ajax. his tears start again when you lean in and give him a gentle kiss, and Childe- no, Ajax- pulls you onto his lap, leaning his cheek against your shoulder. again and again he asks you "Really? You really love me?" and again and again you say yes, each time more determined than the last. whenever he wants to be Childe, he can be Childe; and whenever he wants to be Foul Legacy, he can be Foul Legacy- you love both with all your heart, the Abyssal and human sides of Ajax- and as you delicately tap each freckle scattered over his nose he gives you a small, tender smile
he sleeps well that night, held in your arms, both parts of him satisfied and at peace again
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ok here’s a fluffy eoos headcanon after that heart wrencher of a chapter
i can imagine once they’ve seen each other and cried from pure relief after seeing the other isn’t dead, and once the misunderstanding is cleared up (that childe had to stab zhongli or he would’ve died, and that childe isn’t actually dead) their conversation would eventually come to the topic of marriage.
zhongli: “so.. do you.. still want to marry me? i know the timing probably isn’t optimal and i’m not asking for us to get married right now i was just asking to make sure we’re on the same page-”
childe: “m-married???”
zhongli: “..yes? you did propose to me after all. once my contract had been fulfilled i was going to start planning our wedding.”
childe: “w-w-when did i propose to you????”
zhongli, now very confused: “…..d-during our lovely dinner at luili pavilion? when you confessed your love to me and gifted me all of those lovely presents embellished with the dragon and the phoenix imagery? when i gave you the three-banded ring? and i said ‘not right now’ because i didn’t want us to get married without you knowing the truth of who i was?”
childe, absolutely flabbergasted: “zhongli we.. we kind of needed to be in a relationship before i could propose to you and ask you to marry me. you don’t just randomly propose to your best friend out of the blue!!”
zhongli, thinking back to all the dates they’ve gone on, the time they’ve spent with one another after moving in together, the homemade meals they’ve shared, and the fact that childe literally serenades zhongli every single night before bed: “b-best friend… my dear heart we’ve been dating for at least a year-”
childe: “WE HAVE???”
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