etho the tango girl TM

Etho: You shoulda seen Tango this one day, when we were tryna figure out the statistics math for voting and stuff. Oh my goodness. Tango...Tango knows some math. Bdubs: Really? Etho: Yes. Tango: [giggles] What are you talking about? Etho: Remember when we were tryna work out what's fair voting and all that? And you went into all this probability stuff. How there's actually no such thing as a fair vote, and everything's biased. Tango: Yeah. [laughs] I kinda remember that. Etho: Oh, it was...And he proved it! And I was like, wow... Tango: [giggles]

Friday Night Stabby best quotes part 22 (21/05/21)

*Etho accuses Skizz of killing Brody* Etho: Wait wait wait, has anyone seen a fast moving player? Skizz: Yeah, wasn’t it-? You just pointed out a fast moving player. Impulse: If they morph, they don’t get that, though. Skizz: Oh. Impulse: They don’t become fast. Like, if Skizz morphed into Evil, he would still be slow. Etho: The murderer is a fast moving player. Impulse: Oh! That’s Evil, then. Evil: *muffled laughing* Skizz: Listen to him giggling! Impulse: Evil, you gave it away! *pause, Evil still laughing audibly* Astro: I mean, he DID say that it was worth it right as the- Evil: I did! Several times! I’ve been laughing my butt off SO hard!

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*Joker is giant* Skizz: There was only half of Brody, I think Joker ate the other half. Joker: Oh wow. Evil: WOW. Impulse: He hungey.

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Impulse: Okay, I go back to pew-pew. Joker: Don’t say it like that.

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Impulse, being ejected: Tango, I’m sorry to leave you hanging, buddy. Joker: *laughs* Skizz: Whoa! WHOA! What is that?! Etho: Gottem! Brody, the other imposter: Wow. Tango: What?! Skizz: Hold on, that might be a big brain move right there, dude! Just to try and get an innocent person out. Tango: HE JUST TOTALLY THREW ME UNDER THE BUS! Skizz: Okay, I guess it’s real.

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(that same round) Tango: *calls a meeting* Tango: This is a bunch of MALARKEY! Skizz: *laughs* Joker: You need to calm down, Tango. Tango: I am upset at Impulse! Why would he do that?! Brody: Are you eighty years old? “Malarkey”? Tango: Y-Yeah, malarkey. You heard me. Malarkey. Brody: Sh- Okay. Tango: Malarkey just happened.

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Tango: Etho is just flaunting that he’s got vent powers now. He’s like “hey, whatcha gonna do about it”, so… *pause* Etho: Yeah, so, whatcha gonna do about it???

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Joker: I knew it wasn’t you, Tango. Skizz: You didn’t know anything! Shut up! Joker: Yes I did! YOU shut up! Your hair is stupid.

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*body is reported* Brody: Come ON, Joker…! Joker: I regret nothing. Brody: Alright, so, just saw Joker kill Skizz cuz of his hair or something, whatever. Impulse: Jeez… Joker: Yeah, well, he asked for it. Tango: DID he ask for it? Joker: He did. I regret nothing. His hair wanted to be put out of its misery. Needed to happen.

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Tango: What’s altruist do? Evil: Altruist can sacrifice themself to bring somebody else back. Tango: Oooh! Impulse: That seems fun! Etho: ...does it...?

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Skizz: That could’ve been the lovers role. Impulse, dead: No it’s not! There’s not two people dead! Tango: There’s only one person dead. Skizz: OH. Pfft. Nevermind, nevermind, nevermind. Tango: Skizz sus! Skizz: Well, Impulse loves himself, so that checks out. Impulse, dead: Oh I hate him. I hate him.

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Etho: *reports a body* Skizz, immediately: Tasks done, people. Tasks done. Just putting that out there. Joker: I don’t think Skizz is done with his tasks, cuz he can’t even find a mohawk. So how can he be done with his tasks? Skizz: That’s it, I hate him. I hate- Friendship over. *pause* Etho: H-Hey everybody…!

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*Astro is the giant* Astro: All I’m gonna do is submit my scan again, cuz I was almost done with it, and I’m done. Joker: Impossible. I call poppycock. Impulse: You remember me saying I thought I saw Astro come out of a vent, like, a long time ago? Joker: You did say that. Look, Astro, that’s nonsense. There’s no way- If I’m actually trying to do my tasks and I’m not messing around, and you’re done before I am- Astro: I’m just better than you.

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Astro: Joker, I’m done with my tasks. Joker: I don’t believe you. I refuse to believe you, Astro. Astro: It’s called efficiency.

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Tango: That was a lot of time. Brody: “That’s a lot of time” meaning you killed him and were wondering why nobody found him? Tango: No, why would you say that? I just said it was a lot of time, relax. Calm your hormones. Joker: ...did you say “calm your hormones”?! Brody: I just have so many of them. Tango: They’re fighting their way through. Joker, laughing: Calm ALL your hormones. ALL of them. Brody: I can’t. There’s 28% that cannot be calmed. Joker: That’s the weirdest sentence I’ve heard tonight.

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*everyone skipped vote except Endless, who voted for Skizz* Skizz: Endless! Endless: What? Skizz: I’m watching you, buddy. Watching you. Endless: Oh yeah, I voted for you, Skizz. I forgot. Skizz: Don’t ever be a judge.

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*Astro’s body is reported* Evil: Who killed my Astro buddy?! Brody: Hey, that’s MY Astro buddy. Get that outta here. I saw him first.

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Joker: I’m voting Skizz cuz he hasn’t said anything. Skizz: That’s a dumb reason. Joker: YOU’re a dumb reason. Tango: You’re all dumb.

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Mrs Tango: Tango was in O2 dumping trash cuz I was in there dumping trash. So I would imagine Tango’s body is somewhere over on that side. Brody: Isn’t Tango the trash, though? Etho and Evil: Oooohhh… Endless: Dang… Brody: *laughs* Endless: He can’t defend himself, that’s rude. Brody: That’s why it’s even better.

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Joker: Hey, what does it mean when your name is white and it says “crewmate” underneath it? Endless: First time you’ve seen that tonight, Joker? Joker: Yeah, I’m confused. What am I doing? Evil: I’m voting Joker. Joker: OH COME ON, DUDE!

Potion Parasite Story

Wow, there are a lot of you. I might be writing two fics for this story so I’m going to give the basic premise. However underneath the read more I will provide the entire plot, so if you want to see it, go-ahead.

The base premise starts in S6 during the civil war between Team Star and the G-Team. Team Star, finding themselves on the losing side, realizes they need an advantage to push themselves to victory. False and Wels brainstorm together, as co-leaders in arms, and suggest the idea of stronger potions. Pitching the idea to the rest of the team, and with approval, the group forms a cohesive plan to try and create a super potion that has the effects of instant health, regeneration, swiftness, and night vision all in one. Xisuma is originally against the idea and through some gentle persuasion, and peer pressure, allows the potion to be created.   The potion is a success! At the meeting table, the team comes together in the joy of the team's success and after lifting their glasses; downs their potions to victory.  The effects are instant as they instantly feel rejuvenated and ready for the next fight as they grab their weapons and gear. However, as time goes on the other hermits start to notice something is wrong with their fellow companions. Xisuma’s visor has a more magenta shade along with Doc’s eye, but it all comes ahead at the next fight. Stress slices False’s arm and for a few moments she sees; her blood is pink. 

From then on the Team Star members also start changing personality wise, they still have the same core traits but something has... shifted. They are more driven on healing and making sure the other hermits are okay to an uncomfortable degree. Before, the hermits would trust the others to take care of themselves, but now whenever someone takes a few hearts of damage the members will start questioning them on if they really are okay. They are never without the pink potion.  See the potion is a parasite, slowly overriding their mentality to constantly have 3 things in mind: Heal others, Heal yourself, and Spread the Potion. Often combining with the team’s need to protect their friends and making sure they’re alright; what started out as a simple advantage turns into manipulation as it uses their love for their fellow hermits for its gain. Wels is still as level headed as ever and Impulse still has the joy that seeps out of every word he says, but now they feel off. And the infected know they can’t just force the potion onto others, no no no. They just create situations a little more... dangerous, for their friends. Pushing others off of ledges and guided traps for the hermits, they slowly wait their time until their prey to be too hurt to deny some help. I mean, that’s how they got Zedaph anyways. Alongside TFC and a few others. The others hermits aren’t oblivious to whats going on around them, they know that there is a major problem, but what are they suppose to do when they are fighting against superhumans that can take 3 creepers to the face and walk it off like its nothing. And they cant take too many risks because one wrong move and they will make you drink that parasite. Everyone is tense and Tango had to drop out of the war because he was too busy with being the replacement admin because of Xisuma using his powers. Alongside losing his other support pillar to the thing that took his friend. Eventually the war comes to a close because G-team simply can’t beat their opponent and its better to take a loss than to risk getting infected. People can heal from war but not like this, so caution would be their best friend right now.  Eventually however, a light was found at the end of the tunnel, because in the chat a simple message read, [Zedaph blew up] And miraculously instead of coming back with pink freckles, Zedaph came back.. as his normal self. The entity was gone, driven from his body once he awoke again in bed. And as Zed shook his head with fuzzy memories surfacing he knew, Tango and the others needed to know this.   After some planning, a gamble was taken and as Grian put the finishing touches on the treasure pile, Demise was in effect. And everyone hoped that this would turn out in their favor, for there was only two ways this could go: Success or Failure. But you and I know how this story turned out, the hermits won in the end and the infected was defeated however that sadly enough isn’t the end of our story for one person was left in their sleep, Welsknight. Alone in his house, abandoned by the rest, the parasite started to get more attached to the player. The bright pink filling his veins and gave a pink hue to them in the light. The parasite fused deeper into his body, into his muscles and bones the influence the creature has grew steadily over time as the other players moved onto season 7.  When he finally awoke his eyes were different, reflecting a bright pink sheen when light was reflected off of them, but he didn’t mind. He never did in the first place. And as Cub rescued him from his confinements in the dead world he realized that he needed to get his old team back. Needing to stay low to get rid of suspicion he build his base and bought from the cow-mercial district and eventually when everyone was situated with him being back, he flew over to False in search of his co-leader. Instead of meeting a fellow infected he was met with someone cured and no matter his tries as subtle persuasion with the builder, she didn’t seem to take any of his bait. He waved her goodbye and left disappointed but didn’t lose his hopes in bringing protection to the other hermits.  Those who were saved from the infection knew how it controlled them and made them lose themselves. With the promise of protection and safety however they later realized how wrong that statement is, but Wels never got that message. Stuck in a mentality that to him seems beneficial but to others it’s a restriction and erasure of individuality. Wels stays undercover until the arena fight with Xb and all hell breaks loose. As one of his opponents drops an anvil on him, that should have killed him, he simply brushes it off and gets back up to continue fighting, but the damage has already been done and Joe witnessed the whole thing. Joe knows how that infection works, seeing it in action right in front of him during the war, and in that one moment he realize how badly they fucked up, because they forgot to account for him too. Joe confronts Wels and tries to reason with the other on how the infection wont help, but Wels is stuck in his ways believing he is helping. A verbal fight happens between the two in hushed whispers between Wels’s exclamation that the hermits will be kept safe with the potion and Joe’s firm stance that the parasite will eliminate individuality and that it cares more about keeping itself safe rather than its host. Wels eventually leaves, knowing he can’t win this one.  When Wels’s persuasion with a few other hermits doesn’t go to plan he finally decided to try something new. Go for those who were gone during S6 and the plan was a success. With a new crew of Beef, Etho, Hypno, Xb, the infected decide to bring some more trouble for the rest to deal with. The Hermits, now prepared, work together to slay the new infected and it’s a success. However when they lay the final blow on Wels and he wakes up in bed, they are met with bright pink eyes. It didn’t work.  

Friday Night Stabby best quotes part 7 (30/12/20)

this one is quite long, cuz this is the 5 hour stream PLUS there was just so many incredible quotes from this one so apologies for the length lol

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*speed has been cranked up in the lobby to the highest setting* Skizz: So… did we enable cocaine, or…?

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*fifteen seconds before meeting ends* Etho: So I saw Joker vent, by the way. I just wanted him to sweat a little bit. Joker: WHAT?!

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*Brody has been caught venting by Etho* Mrs Tango: Etho is safe. I saw him dump trash because apparently, visuals are on. Etho: Ohh Mrs Tango saving the day, thank you :D Brody: Yeah, every time you watch Etho play, it’s trash >:( Mrs Tango: You shut your filthy mouth!

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Brody, at the end of the round: Etho, I was partially joking. You’re not trash. Etho: Oh. Thank you.

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Tango: Brown body in O2. Evil: Eh, it’s just Bdubs. Tango: Move along. Next round. Nothing to see here. Skizz: Everybody skip right away! Brody: That’s sad. Etho: Poor, poor potato. Brody: Yeah, he’s just a little potato man.

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*Tango has reported a body*

Mrs Tango: Wait, wait, wait. You saw a body?! Tango: *deep sigh* Endless: Oh daaaaang! Etho: This is very suspicious. That’s a good point, Mrs Tango. Mrs Tango: That’s suspect right there. Tango: How often do I self-report? Mrs Tango: How often do you see a body?

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Skizz: Sorry, Mrs Tango! Mrs Tango: No you’re not. Don’t lie to me. Impulse: Thanks for playing the third imposter, buddy :) Skizz: Shut up. Tango: TOTAL third imposter there. Skizz: Hey, I SAID it was a guess!

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*Skizz’s body is reported* Tango: I think it’s Skizz. I think it’s Skizz. Brody: You think it’s Skizz? Tango: Yes. Let’s all vote Skizz. Etho: Interesting detective work…

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Etho: Joker, what’ve you been up to? You’ve been kinda quiet. Joker: Oh, my wife just gave me food. I have jambalaya. *everyone skips except Evil, who votes for Joker* Brody: EvilNotion thinks you should be voted off for jambalaya, evidently. Endless: Wait, who voted for who? Evil: I voted for Joker just cuz he’s got jambalaya and I’m jealous.

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Bdubs: To be fair, he’s eating jambalaya, which is a hot food, and he’s trying to play imposter at the same time. Brody: Wait, IS he eating jambalaya or was that a ruse? Joker: No, I’ve got- Bdubs: Was the jambalaya a ruse?!

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Bdubs: I heard Etho say, like, five words and he was smiling when he said them. Sounds guilty to me. Etho, audibly smiling: Oh you got me with the- Bdubs: See! He’s guilty! He’s smiling again!

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*a body is reported* Etho: Brody killed him, Brody killed him! No, I mean, he’s safe. Brody’s safe. Brody: You’re killing me right now, Etho.

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Tango: That was the most unsatisfying win ever, by the way. Brody: It just made me sad.

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Endless: For the record, only one person can medbay scan at a time, so Joker got away with that fake. Joker: I totally did. Etho: I thought he was just doing Joker things. Joker: Yeah, I was just doing Joker things!

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Skizz: I accidentally collapsed my tasks and I didn’t know that was a thing! I do NOW, but- Bdubs: I’m gonna call my uncle and see if he can fill a spot in this group. Skizz: Hey, I didn’t have to tell you guys ANYTHING! Brody: Being dead, you were still somehow third imposter. I don’t understand how it’s possible. Tango: That’s a talent, right there.

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Etho: *calls emergency meeting* Joker, immediately: YEAH, I wanna talk to YOU, Etho! Skizz and Bdubs at the same time: UH OH! Tango: These are the best kinds of meetings! Etho: What is it, Joker? Joker: I wanna know why you’re going to that gas can so many times without emptying it! Etho: I’m trying to avoid you, cuz you’re freaking me out, man. Bdubs: I just saw him there at the gas can. Joker: Yeah, I saw you- He- He walked away- Etho: How about instead of watching me, you go do your tasks, Joker? Bdubs: Wow, he’s pulling a dad move. Brody: You ARE freaking out, man. Joker: A dad move again. I’m in trouble. Alright, fine. I was just trying to make friends, man.

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Etho: I stumbled across a body and as I entered the room, Skizzle ran out instead of doing lights or reporting the body. Skizz: Always throwing me under the bus! Brody: Is that throwing you under the bus or is it- Tango: -is it you crawling out of the bus saying “vote me”? *pause* Skizz, miserably: Just do it.

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Mrs Tango: I have both tasks in medbay. Brody: Really? Both? Is that even a thing? Mrs Tango: It is. If you’d like, you can come watch me scan my sexy body. Brody: I-I don’t wanna watch that, I’m okay.

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Tango: It’s clearly Joker again, can we just vote him off? Joker: W-Wait, what? I-I’m just sitting here! I didn’t even do anything! Skizz: Jeez, he’s just messing with ya, homie. Joker: Oh, okay. Good. I wasn’t really listening anyway.

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Etho: Joker, sorry for voting you out. Joker: Uh huh. Bdubs: Classic Canadian.

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Etho: *calls emergency meeting* Etho: Oh, they killed Tango! Nooo! Etho: Uh, I saw Brody vent.

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Impulse: Okay, I’ll buy it for a dollar. *votes for Brody* Endless: Yeah, what’s the worst that can happen? Brody: What’s the worst-? Thanks, Endless. I appreciate that, buddy.

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Endless: Were you paying attention this time, Joker, or…? Joker: Well, my wife gave me some truffles with, like, strawberries in the centre and chocolate so it’s super tasty. So I was half-paying attention. *long pause* Endless: I’m voting Joker just so he has time to finish his truffles. Joker: No no no no no no, listen, I’d just finished the weapons thing and I WAS with Impulse but I watched him go somewhere else and then I went down to communications to finish my thing. And if I was the killer, I wouldn’t say that cuz that sounds horrible, now that I say it out loud… *Joker is voted out* Joker: Someday, you guys’ll see that it’s really just not me.

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Endless: For the record, I also want some jambalaya and some chocolate truffles. Brody: Endless, you get NOTHING.

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Tango: So Etho, did you really just cut task mid-task and run away? Etho: Oh yeah, if I think the killer’s just walked in with me, I’m outta there. There’s no way I’m hanging around. Joker: Then everybody should know that if Etho is hanging around with me, we’re both the killers. Endless: Noted.

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Impulse: I literally saw Brody vent. Brody: You did. You did see me vent. I killed Etho. I’m gonna say it out loud. I killed him because every time I’m near him, he sees me in a vent. Every time. He deserved to die every single time. I’m calling it right now. You should vote for me. Etho- Bdubs: This is dark…

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Evil: I found Bdubs’s dead body at lights. Mrs Tango: I think it’s Joker. Joker: Of COURSE you do.

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*Mrs Tango is ejected* Mrs Tango: Y’all are WRONG and I’m not doing my tasks. Etho, dead: Hell hath no fury like a Mrs Tango scorned.

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Endless: Best of luck to you later tonight, Tango. Tango: I am locking my doors, just so you guys know.

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Tango: That was an unproductive round for me. I was in admin, now I’m in reactor and my task got interrupted. Brody: I don’t think it’s unproductive; Skizz is dead.

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Bdubs: I saw Brody go right early on with the whole reactor meltdown, he went the opposite direction. Then the second emergency meeting, he deflected and didn’t really truly answer, and then he voted against Mrs Tango with me and Etho without really saying much. And I- I’m kinda- I’m really feeling… *sounding like he’s crying* I think he did it! I think he’s a killer! Brody: You’re using the fake tears right now? That’s where you wanna be? Bdubs: Yes that’s where I wanna be.

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Tango: No, okay, wait a sec! Listen. Just imagine for a second that I’m innocent right now. *long pause* Impulse: You… You just wanted us to imagine? Etho: Okay, so you’re innocent and…? Tango: No, I’m guilty.

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*after the Tangos lose an imposter round together* Mrs Tango: I have the best husband ever. Tango: So close! Mrs Tango: Just so you know, I have the best husband ever. Tango: We were on a murdering rampage! Mrs Tango: My husband is better than all of your husbands,. Joker: I don’t… have a husband? Endless: Yeah me neither. Tango: Her husband is better than your husband, Endless. Mrs Tango: My husband is better than all of your husbands. Endless: Your husband called you a liar earlier.

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Endless: *calls emergency meeting* Endless: I don’t have any information, I just saw Tango was dead on vitals. Etho: But now we don’t know where he died. Endless: It literally just happened, so has anybody seen him recently? *long pause* Skizz: ...so essentially this meeting is “the vitals machine works”?

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Joker: Am I really always suspect? Impulse: Yes. Tango: Yes. Brody: Yes. Joker: All the time? Endless: Yes. Brody: Yes. Evil: Yes. Brody: If you’re voted off, it’s either good or good. It’s just like- It’s fine.

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*everyone skips except Endless who votes for Skizz* Endless: Payback >:) Skizz: ENDLESS-!

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Impulse: Joker, don’t kill me right away. Joker: *kills Impulse* (wouldn’t be one of these streams without Impulse inadvertently predicting his own death a second before it happens)

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*Brody calls an emergency meeting after Joker has been chasing Tango around the map* Tango: OH THANK GOD, OH GOD! PLEASE VOTE JOKER OFF! Joker: Look! MAN! I’m-! Tango: He’s been chasing me for twenty minutes! Bdubs: Hold on, hold on. Brody- Brody, what? Brody: Uh, I just called this cuz I wanted to see where everybody’s at with tasks cuz I’m done, and, uh… Tango: Guys, I nailed Joker already, now just vote him off! Joker: Look, dude, I’m just trying- Tango: He just chased me for twenty minutes! Endless, Endless-! Bdubs: Is this Tango’s guilty voice? Skizz: I wanna hear Tango only. Tango: Everyone, SHUT UP. Endless. Endless. Endless? Endless. Are you there? Endless: Yeah, I- Tango: Did you not see me sticking to you like glue for that entire round cuz Joker was chasing me for the last thirty seconds? Endless: I saw Joker come into communications, go to leave, then come back in and hang around you, so… Skizz: Tango, are we voting for Joker? Tango: Yes! If it’s not Joker, he’s a jerk and needs to be voted off anyways. Joker: I’m always a jerk!

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Joker: Sorry, Bdubs, I blew that last round. Bdubs: Oh don’t worry, I blew it too. Brody: Yeah, you both equally blew it. Joker: I wasn’t talking to you, Brody.

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Brody: Endless? Etho? Etho: I was on my way over to lights. Endless: I’m just waiting to die.

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Impulse: I said my BONES are good, not my eyeballs.

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Skizz: You are a NINJA, Endless. I totally forgot you were playing for a second there.

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Skizz: Impulse, your body had fully decomposed and had been consumed and turned into fossil fuel. Impulse: I love how your ghost was hovering over my body for half the match, just waiting for somebody to find me. That was cute. Tango: Just like “aww my buddy is dead :’(“ yeah. Skizz: It was killing me! D:

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Tango: Skizz, how did you get into the lab? Skizz: ...I don’t understand the question. How’d I get into lab? Through the door…? What is happening? Joker: I see where you’re going with this, Tango, and I support this. Skizz: I don’t-! *votes are revealed, everyone has voted for Skizz* *pause* Skizz: ONE time. I wanna be imposter ONE time where my partner is not voted off in the first six seconds!

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Impulse: I’m about to be killed, anywa- Etho: *kills Impulse*

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Bdubs: Mrs Tango! What are you doin’? You just walked out of communications and Impulse is dead in there! *pause* Mrs Tango, audibly grinning: I don’t think so! He was alive when I was in there. Bdubs: Busted! Tango: Hang on, guys! I will decipher this with my extensive wife knowledge! I think she’s guilty! Mrs Tango: He was alive while I was in there! Bdubs: He was? He just dropped dead of starvation, maybe? Mrs Tango: Maybe an icicle got him, I don’t know. Tango: Right, right! Stalactite fell from the heavens and impaled him. Bdubs: A flesh-eating disease, maybe. Tango: Maybe Endless starved to death. Did you think of that? Joker: A wire was loose and he got electrocuted.

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Joker: Brody, you just love killing me. Brody: I mean, I do, but that’s not why I’m voting for you.

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Joker: Tango, I’m getting people coming into my chat and telling me you’re saying I’m useless now. Tango: *cackles* Tango: I dunno what you’re talking about.