"hurt and grieve but don't suffer alone // engage with the pain as a motive"
Title is from "Achilles Come Down" by Gang of Youths
Info: Theo Putnam & Trans!Reader, to pronouns for reader other than you, pre/during season one, before Theo comes out to his friends, the reader is critical of religion in their narration so if that's a trigger, skip this please!
Note: For the first part of this fic, the reader uses they/them pronouns for Theo, not certain what pronouns they'd prefer.
Summary: You couldn't give two fucks about the shitty kids at Baxter High, but you can tell that you being out is giving someone more confidence in themselves. And that's why you deal with these shitheads.
Upstate New York wasn't what you imagined with your parents said that your dad was moving to New York for work. You could be forgiven if you thought that you'd be in the Big Apple, where people with some actually decent worldviews and basic fucking respect existed.
But, you couldn't have been that lucky, could you? Because the small town of Greendale needed a new doctor and your father could open up his own private practice with a whole town of new customers.
Honestly, how this town had a prominent mortuary, but not a doctor freaked you out, but you wouldn't say anything about it, because who knows what those Spellmans are up to.
But, you settled in decently. Classes weren't difficult and getting around was easy, with everything practically being within either walking or biking distance—something you'd taken up getting around your old town, as public transit was abysmal and here it's nonexistent.
Assholes were assholes and cliques were formed, but not like stereotypical high school television would proclaim. There wasn't a bitchy female at the top, ruling everything. Everything seemed to span from the ire of the misogynistic, football team and their backwards, Judeo-Christian values.
Honestly, you couldn't understand it. The fucking egos on these guys were astounding, truly.
But, you noticed something in between the constant jabs and minor pushing around from the guys bigger than you. That the kid from your English class with the curly hair kept staring at you.
You didn't think it was malicious, but it was persistent. They sat a bit behind you, next to two girls: one of which was the preacher's daughter and the other came from the mortuary family you were going to stay away from.
But, they looked harmless. Curious, in fact. Like they'd never seen someone like you, like them. Like they'd never seen someone who's undeniably trans.
You weren't certain they were trans, but if gaydar was a real thing, yours would be on full alert.
And so, when you were able to catch them staring all by their lonesome, you slipped away from the meatheads and their closemindedness towards them.
"Hey, you're in my English class, aren't you?" You appear in front of them in a blink of an eye, "With Ms. Wardwell, right?"
"Oh, uh... yeah. I am." They stammer, "You find it alright."
"It's not that difficult. Similar stuff I was doing at my old school."
"Where are you from?"
You tell them, trying to hide the disgust of this place and the fact that you really miss home.
"I can't for the life of me remember your name and I'm so sorry about that! Can you tell me?" Even if your reasoning was different, you truly couldn't remember their name, as Ms. Wardwell tends to take silent attendance.
They sigh, "Susie. Susie Putnam."
"You sure about that?" They choke on the air caught in their throat and you continue, "I mean, Y/N wasn't always my name. My parents helped it get it changed. So... are you sure that's your name."
"I don't know what I want to change it to." They admit, "but Susie hurts to hear."
"I get it." You put a hand on their shoulder, "Sometimes you gotta grin and bare it, but hey, when you pick one out, tell me."
"You get it?" They said, "You understand what I'm going through?"
"Oh yeah." You offer a laugh to break the tension, "These people are assholes, but your friends seem to be decent enough. And if they fucking suck like these dickheads, then you can hang with me, alright."
"And if my friends don't suck?" They ask, "Can I still hand out with you?"
You fish out a spare piece of paper and write your number down with a smirk, "I think that's fine as well."
hi! welcome to my account, i’m so glad you found me 🌈
• my name is Amelia, but i’ll also answer to Amy or Ames. previous usernames include afangirlshidingplace, americasass-romanoff, daisys-galaxy, missreyskywalker, natasha-romxnoff, sam-wilsonnn, steve-harringt0ns, thenancywheeler & agentjemmafitzsimmons. if you were here for the americasass-romanoff days, you’re a real one ✊🏻
• 20-something mess of a human being
• i’m a book nerd, music lover, angst writer, avid dog petter, tea drinker and Funko collector
• I occasionally write fanfiction that you can check out here. There’s a lot of WIPs and some I don’t pick up again, but feel free to enjoy them :)
fandoms: MCU/AOS, Star Wars, Stranger Things, Only Murders In The Building, The Last of Us, Daisy Jones & The Six, Narcos, Ted Lasso, Friends, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Fast and Furious, The Hunger Games, Bridgerton, Films/Sitcoms (50’s-now)
favorite characters: yelena belova, wanda maximoff, natasha romanoff, loki laufeyson, nick fury, nakia, shuri, okoye, sam wilson, peggy carter, phil coulson, jemma simmons, leo fitz, finn, ahsoka tano, obi wan kenobi, sabine wren, chopper, steve harrington, nancy wheeler, jonathan byers, max mayfield, mabel mora, oliver putnam, joel miller, daisy jones, billy dunne, ted lasso, jamie tartt, roy kent, keeley jones, coach beard, phoebe buffay, midge maisel, susie meyerson, joel maisel, lenny bruce, abe weissman, brian o’conner, dominic toretto, mia toretto, lucy gray baird, kate sharma
ships: steggy, wandavision, fitzsimmons, philinda, anidala, finnrey, hanleia, jancy, jopper, lumax, graham x karen, roy x keely, midge x joel, brian x mia, snowbaird, kanthony, polin
dni if you are pro-amber heard. any kind of hate, discrimination, racism, or sexism is not tolerated on my page. this is a place for nothing but fun 💖
Nominations Announced July 18, 2022
Guest Acting Winners Announced on September 11, 2022
Lead Actress in a Drama Series:
KILLING EVE - Jodie Comer as Villanelle (BBC America)
KILLING EVE - Sandra Oh as Eve Polastri (BBC America)
THE MORNING SHOW - Jennifer Aniston as Alex Levy (Apple+)
OZARK - Laura Linney as Wendy Byrde (Netflix)
THIS IS US - Mandy Moore as Rebecca Pearson (NBC)
YELLOWJACKETS - Melanie Lynskey as Shauna Sadecki (Showtime)
Lead Actor in a Drama Series:
BETTER CALL SAUL - Bob Odenkirk as Saul Goodman (AMC)
OZARK - Jason Bateman as Marty Byrde (Netflix)
SQUID GAME - Lee Jung-jae as Seong Gi-hun (Netflix)
SUCCESSION - Brian Cox as Sterling Roy (HBO)
SUCCESSION - Jeremy Strong as Kendall Roy (HBO)
THIS IS US - Sterling K. Brown as Randall Pearson (NBC)
Supporting Actress in a Drama Series:
BETTER CALL SAUL - Rhea Seehorn as Kim Wexler (AMC)
EUPHORIA - Maude Apatow as Lexi (HBO)
EUPHORIA - Sydney Sweeney as Cassie Howard (HBO)
OZARK - Julia Garner as Ruth Langmore (Netflix)
SEVERANCE - Patricia Arquette as Harmony Cobel (Apple+)
SUCCESSION - J. Smith-Cameron as Gerri Kellman (HBO)
SUCCESSION - Sarah Snook as Siobhan Roy (HBO)
YELLOWJACKETS - Christina Ricci as Misty Quigley (Showtime)
Supporting Actor in a Drama Series:
BETTER CALL SAUL - Jonathan Banks as Mike Ehrmantraut (AMC)
BETTER CALL SAUL - Giancarlo Esposito as Gus Fring (AMC)
THE MORNING SHOW - Billy Crudup as Cory Ellison (Apple+)
SQUID GAME - Park Sae-hoo as Cho Sang-woo (Netflix)
SUCCESSION - Nicholas Braun as Greg Hirsch (HBO)
SUCCESSION - Kieran Culkin as Roman Roy (HBO)
SUCCESSION - Matthew McFadyen as Tom Wambsgans (HBO)
SUCCESSION - Alan Ruck as Connor Roy (HBO)
Guest Actress in a Drama Series:
THE MORNING SHOW - Marcia Gay Harden as Maggie Brenen (Apple+)
OZARK - Jordana Spiro as Rachel Garrison (Netflix)
SQUID GAME - Lee You-mi as Ji-yeong (Netflix)
SUCCESSION - Hope Davis as Sandi Furness (HBO)
SUCCESSION - Sanaa Lathan as Lisa Arthur (HBO)
SUCCESSION - Harriet Walter as Lady Caroline Collingwood (HBO)
Guest Actor in a Drama Series:
THE MORNING SHOW - Martin Short at Dick Lundy (Apple+)
OZARK - Tom Pelphrey as Ben Davis (Netflix)
SUCCESSION - Adrien Brody as Josh Aaronson (HBO)
SUCCESSION - James Cromwell as Ewan Roy (HBO)
SUCCESSION - Alexander Skarsgard as Lukas Matsson (HBO)
THIS IS US - Dule Hill as Kenny (NBC)
Performance by a Cast in a Drama Series:
Better Call Saul (AMC)
Bridgerton (Netflix)
Squid Game (Netflix)
Stranger Things (Netflix)
Succession (HBO)
This Is Us (NBC)
Lead Actress in a Comedy Series:
ABBOTT ELEMENTARY - Quinta Brunson as Janine Teagues (ABC)
THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT - Kaley Cuoco as Cassie Bowden (HBO Max)
HACKS - Jean Smart as Deborah Vance (HBO Max)
INSECURE - Issa Rae as Issa (HBO)
THE MARVELOUS MRS. MAISEL - Rachel Brosnahan as Miriam Maisel (Amazon Prime)
ONLY MURDERS IN THE BUILDING - Selena Gomez as Mabel Mora (Hulu)
Lead Actor in a Comedy Series:
ATLANTA - Donald Glover as Earn (F/X)
BARRY - Bill Hader as Barry (HBO)
BLACK-ISH - Anthony Anderson as Andre Johnson (ABC)
ONLY MURDERS IN THE BUILDING - Steve Martin as Charles-Haden Savage (Hulu)
ONLY MURDERS IN THE BUILDING - Martin Short as Oliver Putnam (Hulu)
TED LASSO - Jason Sudeikis as Ted Lasso (Apple TV+)
Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series:
ABBOTT ELEMENTARY - Janelle Jones as Ava Coleman (ABC)
ABBOTT ELEMENTARY - Sheryl Lee Ralph as Barbara Howard (ABC)
HACKS - Hannah Einbinder as Ava Daniels (HBO Max)
THE MARVELOUS MRS. MAISEL - Alex Borstein as Susie Myerson (Amazon Prime)
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE - Kate McKinnon as Various Characters (NBC)
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE - Cecily Strong as Various Characters (NBC)
TED LASSO - Juno Temple as Keeley Jones (Apple+)
TED LASSO - Hannah Waddingham as Rebecca Welton (Apple+)
Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series:
ABBOTT ELEMENTARY - Tyler James Williams as Gregory Eddie (ABC)
ATLANTA - Brian Tyree Henry as Alfred ‘Paper Boi’ (F/X)
BARRY - Henry Winkler as Gene Cousineau (HBO)
THE MARVELOUS MRS. MAISEL - Tony Shalhoub as Abe Weissman (Amazon Prime)
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE - Bowen Yang as Various Characters (NBC)
TED LASSO - Brett Goldstein as Roy Kent (Apple+)
TED LASSO - Brendan Hunt as Coach Beard (Apple+)
TED LASSO - Nick Mohammed as Nathan Shelley (Apple+)
Guest Actress in a Comedy Series:
THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT - Sharon Stone as Lisa Bowden (HBO)
GRACE AND FRANKIE - Dolly Parton as Agnes (Netflix)
HACKS - Jane Adams as Nina Daniels (HBO)
THE MARVELOUS MRS. MAISEL - Kelly Bishop as Benedetta (Amazon Prime)
ONLY MURDERS IN THE BUILDING - Jane Lynch as Sazz Pataki (Hulu)
TED LASSO - Harriet Walter as Deborah (Apple+)
Guest Actor in a Comedy Series:
ATLANTA - Alexander Skarsgard as Alexander Skarsgard (F/X)
CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM - Bill Hader is Igor, Grigor, & Timor (HBO)
ONLY MURDERS IN THE BUILDING - Nathan Lane as Teddy Dimas (Hulu)
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE - Jerrod Carmichael as Host/Various Characters (NBC)
SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE - John Mulaney as Host/Various Characters (NBC)
TED LASSO - Anthony Head as Rupert Manion (Apple+)
Performance by a Cast in a Comedy Series:
Abbott Elementary (ABC)
Barry (HBO)
black-ish (ABC)
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (Amazon Prime)
Only Murders In The Building (Hulu)
Saturday Night Live (NBC)
Ted Lasso (Apple+)
Lead Actress in a Limited or Anthology Series/Movie:
THE DROPOUT - Amanda Seyfried as Elizabeth Holmes (Hulu)
INVENTING ANNA - Julia Garner as Anna Delvey (Netflix)
SCENES FROM A MARRIAGE - Jessica Chastain as Mira (HBO)
THE STAIRCASE - Toni Collette as Kathleen Peterson (HBO Max)
A VERY BRITISH SCANDAL - Claire Foy as Margaret Campbell (Amazon Prime)
WOMEN OF THE MOVEMENT - Adrienne Warren as Mamie Till-Mobley (ABC)
Lead Actor in a Limited or Anthology Series/Movie:
DOPESICK - Michael Keaton as Dr. Samuel Finnix (Hulu)
THE LAST DAYS OF PTOLEMY GREY - Samuel L. Jackson as Ptolemy Grey (Apple+)
SCENES FROM A MARRIAGE - Oscar Isaac as Jonathan (HBO)
THE STAIRCASE - Colin Firth as Michael Peterson (HBO Max)
UNDER THE BANNER OF HEAVEN - Andrew Garfield as Detective Jeb Pyre (F/X)
A VERY BRITISH SCANDAL - Paul Bettany as Ian Campbell (Amazon Prime)
Supporting Actress in a Limited or Anthology Series/Movie:
1883 - Faith Hill as Margaret Dutton (Paramount Plus)
IMPEACHMENT: CRIME STORY - Edie Falco as Hillary Clinton (F/X)
THE WHITE LOTUS - Connie Britton as Nicole Mossbacher (HBO)
THE WHITE LOTUS - Jennifer Coolidge as Tanya (HBO)
THE WHITE LOTUS - Alexandra Daddario as Rachel Patton (HBO)
THE WHITE LOTUS - Sydney Sweeney as Olivia Mossbacher (HBO)
Supporting Actor in a Limited or Anthology Series/Movie:
THE DROPOUT - Naveen Andrews as Sunny Balwani (Hulu)
THE FIRST LADY - O-T Fagbenle as Barack Obama (Showtime)
IMPEACHMENT: CRIME STORY - Clive Owen as Bill Clinton (F/X)
THE WHITE LOTUS - Murray Bartlett as Armond (HBO)
THE WHITE LOTUS - Jake Lacy as Shane Patton (HBO)
THE WHITE LOTUS - Steve Zahn as Michael Mossbacher (HBO)
Performance by a Cast in a Limited or Anthology Series/Movie/Special:
Dopesick (Hulu)
The Dropout (Hulu)
The First Lady (Showtime)
1883 (Paramount Plus)
Impeachment: Crime Story (F/X)
The White Lotus (HBO)
Lead Actress in Daytime:
THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL - Jacqueline MacInnes-Wood as Steffy Forrester (CBS)DAYS OF OUR LIVES - Marci Miller as Abigail DiMera (NBC)
GENERAL HOSPITAL - Cynthia Watros as Nina Reeves (ABC)
GENERAL HOSPITAL - Laura Wright as Carly Corinthos (ABC)
THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS - Amelia Heinle as Victoria Newman (CBS)
THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS - Mishael Morgan as Amanda Sinclair (CBS)
Lead Actor in Daytime:
THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL - Thorsten Kaye as Ridge Forrester (CBS)
THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL - John McCook as Eric Forrester (CBS)
DAYS OF OUR LIVES - James Reynolds as Abe Carver (NBC)
GENERAL HOSPITAL - Maurice Benard as Sonny Corinthos (ABC)
THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS - Peter Bergman as Jack Abbott (CBS)
THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS - Jason Thompson as Billy Abbott (CBS)
Supporting Actress in Daytime:
THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL - Kimberlin Brown as Sheila Carter (CBS)
THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL - Naomi Matsuda as Dr. Li Finnegan (CBS)
DAYS OF OUR LIVES - Stacy Haiduk as Kristen DiMera (NBC)
GENERAL HOSPITAL - Sofia Mattsson as Sasha Gilmore (ABC)
GENERAL HOSPITAL - Kelly Thiebaud as Dr. Britt Westbourne (ABC)
THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS - Susan Walters as Diane Jenkins (CBS)
Supporting Actor in Daytime:
THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL - Aaron Spears as Justin Barber (CBS)
GENERAL HOSPITAL - Nicholas Alexander Chavez as Spencer Cassidine (ABC)
GENERAL HOSPITAL - Robert Gossett as Marshall Ashford (ABC)
GENERAL HOSPITAL - James Patrick Stuart as Valentin Cassidine (ABC)
THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS - Bryton James as Devon Hamilton (CBS)
THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS - Robert Newman as Ashland Locke (CBS)
Younger Performer in a Daytime Series:
DAYS OF OUR LIVES - Lindsay Arnold as Allie Horton (NBC)
GENERAL HOSPITAL - William Lipton as Cameron Webber (ABC)
GENERAL HOSPITAL - Eden McCoy as Josslyn Jacks (ABC)
GENERAL HOSPITAL - Sydney Mikayla as Trina Robinson (ABC)
Younger Performer in a Primetime Series or Limited Series:
AND JUST LIKE THAT - Alexa Swinton as Rose/Rock Goldenblatt (HBO Max)
BLACK-ISH - Marcus Scribner as Andre Johnson Jr. (ABC)
LOVE, VICTOR - Michael Cimino as Victor Salazar (Netflix)
STRANGER THINGS - Millie Bobby Brown as Eleven (Netflix)
THE WONDER YEARS - Elisha E.J. Williams as Dean (ABC)
YOUNG SHELDON - Iain Armitage as Sheldon Cooper (CBS)
Guest Performer in Daytime:
THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL - Ted King as John Finnegan (CBS)
DAYS OF OUR LIVES - Marla Gibbs as Olivia Price (NBC)
GENERAL HOSPITAL - Jane Elliot as Tracy Quartermaine (ABC)
GENERAL HOSPITAL - Jeff Kober as Cyrus Renault (ABC)
THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS - Telma Hopkins as Denise Tolliver (CBS)
Performance By A Cast in a Daytime Soap:
Beyond Salem (Peacock) & Days of Our Lives (NBC)
The Bold and the Beautiful (CBS)
General Hospital (ABC)
The Young and the Restless (CBS)
Late Night Host:
THE DAILY SHOW - Trevor Noah (Comedy Central)
LAST WEEK TONIGHT - John Oliver (HBO)
THE LATE SHOW - Stephen Colbert (CBS)
REAL TIME WITH BILL MAHER - Bill Maher (HBO)
Talk Show Host:
THE DREW BARRYMORE SHOW - Drew Barrymore (Syndicated)
THE KELLY CLARKSON SHOW - Kelly Clarkson (Syndicated)
LIVE WITH KELLY AND RYAN - Kelly Ripa & Ryan Seacrest (Syndicated)
TAMRON HALL - Tamron Hall (Syndicated)
THE VIEW - The Hosts of The View (ABC)
Game Show Host:
CELEBRITY FAMILY FEUD/FAMILY FEUD - Steve Harvey (ABC/Syndicated)
LET’S MAKE A DEAL - Wayne Brady (CBS)
PRESS YOUR LUCK - Elizabeth Banks (ABC)
THE WEAKEST LINK - Jane Lynch (NBC)
WHEEL OF FORTUNE - Pat Sajak (Syndicated)
Reality Show Host:
LIZZO’S WATCH OUT FOR THE BIG GIRLS - Lizzo (Amazon Prime)
MAKING IT - Amy Poehler & Nick Offerman (NBC)
QUEER EYE - The Hosts of Queer Eye (Netflix)
RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE - RuPaul Charles (VH1)
SHARK TANK - The Hosts of Shark Tank (ABC)
TOP CHEF - Padma Lakshmi (Bravo)